Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. They belong to Joss Whedon.
Neither I nor any website on which this story appears receives any compensation
for this work.
Distribution:
The Mystic Muse: http://mysticmuse.net
Anywhere, just ask.
Feedback: Yes please.
Spoilers: AU in season 5.
Author's Note: Sequel to Soul
Mates: Conversations.
First, I apologize for the long delay between parts. I'm hoping it won't take so
long next time.
Second, thanks to everyone who's sent feedback and suggestions. Kate, I
appreciated your email, but when I tried to reply, it didn't work for some
reason. Could you email again please?
Dedication: Thanks to Spellbound for reading this over for me, and thanks
to Pete for looking over the first part.
Grouping: Willow/Tara/Xander
Summary: Willow, Tara, and Xander settle in together and Giles is told about their relationship.
Part 1
The next few days after their conversations with Buffy and Joyce passed quickly and, as far as Tara was concerned, pleasantly. They moved the rest of Xander's things out of his apartment, and by the middle of the week, he'd finished getting settled in with her and Willow. Even though Xander had been living with them already, after they left his apartment behind for the last time, things felt…different. Like he was really a part of their home now. When the three of them got back to their apartment that night, and Xander finished putting his things away, Tara felt as though a major turning point in her life had just been passed.
And if she was a little nervous about that, it quickly faded – just being with Willow and Xander helped her relax. The more she considered the idea of Xander living with her and Willow, the more at ease with it she became. And as she went to sleep that night, cuddled together with them, she found she was really looking forward to what was ahead for them.
The next morning, they had breakfast and showered in turn. Tara went in last, and when she was finished, she dressed, putting on a long blue skirt and a dark green blouse, and made her way to their spare bedroom. She stepped inside, smiling as she caught sight of Willow sitting at the desk in front of her computer.
"Hey honey," Tara said. Willow had the window open, and Tara took a deep breath, savoring the fresh air as she walked over to stand next to her. Willow looked up as she approached, smiling back at her, and Tara leaned in toward her, giving her a kiss that was meant to be quick, but ended up lasting for a few seconds.
"Hey," Willow replied when they separated. She smiled, looking into Tara's eyes, and ran her hand down Tara's arm, giving her hand a gentle squeeze.
"What are you up to?" Tara asked.
"Well, I thought I'd check around online and see if I could find anything about our relationship," Willow replied.
Tara chuckled. "So did you find anything out?"
Willow nodded. "Sure did," she declared. "A few things, anyway. For one, the relationship we're in is called a triad."
Tara was about to reply when Xander walked into the room. "Hey, there you are," he said, walking over to join Tara by Willow's desk. "What's up?"
Tara grinned. "Willow was just telling me about how she was doing research online about the kind of relationship we're in," she said.
"We're a triad," Willow said brightly. Her eyes twinkled with excitement, and Tara knew the reason for it. She'd learned something new and was eager to share it with them.
"Yeah?" Xander said. He obviously also knew the source of Willow's excitement, since he smiled at her and grabbed a chair from the table that was set up next to the desk, pulling it over to him. "Makes sense, I guess," he continued as he sat down facing Willow and reached for Tara, tugging at her arm. She giggled and allowed him to gently pull her into his lap, and Willow reached out and laid a hand on her knee as Tara settled herself.
"What else did you find out?" Tara asked, resting one hand on Willow's and wrapping her other arm around Xander.
Willow's enthusiasm dimmed a little at the question. "Well, a lot of it was about the problems people in these kinds of relationships have to deal with," she said.
"What kind of problems?" Xander asked.
"Jealousy's a big one," Willow replied.
"Hmm," Xander said. "So if you were to see me do this…" Without warning, he pressed his lips to Tara's, and she gasped, startled, as he gave her a deep, passionate kiss. After her initial surprise had passed, she kissed him back, and they stayed locked together for several seconds.
After they pulled back from each other, Xander winked at Tara, then turned back toward Willow. "…Would you be jealous?" he asked, grinning.
Willow giggled. "No," she replied with a shake of her head. "I'd just think it was really sexy."
Xander laughed, and Willow leaned in and gave him a quick kiss. Tara smiled at her as Willow sat back in her chair and squeezed her hand gently. "So what other problems did you find out about?" Tara asked.
"There's also the way other people react to the relationship," Willow said. Then she frowned slightly and fixed them with a serious look. "Speaking of which, we still need to tell Giles."
"Hey, about that…" Xander said. "Why don't you let me handle telling him?"
Tara looked at him, surprised. "You mean, by yourself?"
Xander nodded. "Yeah. I mean, I don't want to exclude you guys," he said. "But I think it might be easier for him if I told him one-on-one. Not that I think he'll have a heart attack or anything, but it'll probably be a little uncomfortable. At least at first."
"So you want to do it?" Willow asked.
"Yeah," Xander replied, meeting Willow's eyes. "Giles and me, I think we bonded a little, last year." He gave a slight shrug. "You and Buffy were off at college, you were starting a new phase in your lives, and we…"
He trailed off, but there was no doubt in Tara's mind about what his next words would have been. We got left behind. Willow obviously realized that too, since her expression turned slightly guilty and she shifted uncomfortably in her chair.
Seeing this, Xander took her hand, squeezing it gently. "Hey, it's okay," he said. He smiled at her, and after a moment, Willow relaxed a little and returned the gesture. Tara hugged Xander with the arm she had wrapped around him even as she gave Willow a sympathetic look. What had happened had happened, and nothing could be done about it now, but still…
"Anyway," Xander said after a moment, putting the uncomfortable subject behind them, "I think it'd be best if I talk to Giles alone. I mean, if it's okay with you guys."
Tara glanced at Willow, who nodded. "It's okay with me," Willow said. "Honestly, I was feeling a little awkward about the idea of talking to him anyway."
"It's fine with me too," Tara said. "You guys know him a lot better than I do."
Xander nodded. "Okay then. I'll swing by the Magic Box after work today and talk to him," he said. "Which means I'll be a little late getting home today," he added after a moment's thought.
"That's no problem," Willow assured him. "Take all the time you need. And good luck – I mean, not that you'll need luck," she added hastily, "random chance isn't really a factor here, it's not like Giles is going to say 'Well, I'll just flip a coin to decide how to react to this…'"
Tara laughed as she trailed off. She still couldn't believe how cute Willow could be sometimes. Xander obviously felt the same way, since he chuckled, smiling at Willow with genuine affection.
"I know what you mean," he said. "But I appreciate you wishing me luck anyway."
"Really, though," Willow said, her expression turning serious, "I hope it goes well. I know he's important to you."
"Thanks," Xander said. He held Willow's gaze for a moment, and Tara moved her hand up to rub his shoulder. Xander turned toward her, smiling, and kissed her neck softly.
Then he glanced at the clock on the wall and turned back with an exaggerated sigh. "Well, as much as I hate to get up here," he said, flashing her and Willow a quick grin, "I need to get going. Don't want to be late for work."
Tara smiled at Xander, then stood up, turning to face him and Willow as they rose from their chairs. "Have a good day at work," she said, moving in toward him and giving him a quick but intense kiss. When she moved back, Willow stepped forward and kissed him as well, her lips lingering on his for a moment.
"We'll see you later," Willow said after they separated.
"Yeah, I'll see you tonight," Xander said. "And have a good day at school." He smiled at them, then turned and walked out of the room.
After he left, Willow turned to sit back down again, but Tara caught her arm, stopping her. As Willow turned back toward her, Tara pulled her close, pressing her lips to Willow's. They stayed locked together for a long moment and Tara lost herself in her girlfriend's taste and the way she felt against her. When they finally broke their kiss, Tara gave Willow one last quick smooch, then stepped back.
"What was that for?" Willow asked, smiling.
"Do I need a reason?" Tara teased.
Willow laughed. "No. Not at all," she said.
"Good," Tara replied. She held Willow's gaze for a moment, then turned and picked up the chair Xander had moved earlier. "Now, I should get some studying done before we have to go to class," she said, setting the chair back down at the table and sitting down.
Willow nodded. "Yeah. Me too." She shut down her computer, then sat next to Tara at the table. This was the place they did most of their schoolwork, so their books were already laid out on it, and Tara opened her Eastern History binder as Willow reached for her Calculus notebook. She gave Willow a quick smile and reached for her hand, and they laced their fingers together as they turned their attention to their notes.
Okay, Xander told himself. Nothing to be nervous about here. I'm just going to have a conversation with Giles. Nothing I haven't done hundreds of times before.
He was standing on the sidewalk in front of the Magic Box, and had been for the last ten minutes. It was a little after five o'clock, so there were a fair number of people passing by and even the occasional person entering or leaving the shop. Beyond the occasional glance, none of them paid any attention to Xander, and they didn't really register with him either – he was too concerned about the conversation he was about to have.
Even though he'd assured Willow and Tara that he could handle this, now that it was actually time to tell Giles about them, he was suddenly feeling a lot less confident. All the anxiety he'd felt about telling Buffy last weekend was back, and it wasn't a good feeling. At this point, he was just hoping he could get through this without making a complete ass of himself.
Xander abruptly shook himself out of that line of thought. He had to do this sooner or later, and the only thing he'd accomplish by standing around out here would be to make his nervousness even worse. So there was no sense putting this off any longer.
Besides, the sooner he got finished here, the sooner he could get home to see Willow and Tara.
He strode forward with purpose and opened the door to the shop. The familiar jingle of the bell at the entrance greeted him as he stepped inside and closed the door behind him. There were a few customers around the shop browsing through the shelves, but overall the place wasn't too busy at the moment. Xander looked around for Giles, but didn't see him, so he walked over to the counter and nodded at the slim, dark-haired girl standing behind the register.
She looked up at him as he approached, and he smiled at her. "Hey, Lisa," he said. Giles had hired Lisa shortly after he'd opened the shop a few months ago, and Xander had talked to her several times when he'd been over here since then. She was nice, and he liked her well enough. She'd accepted his and his friends' semi-regular visits to the shop easily enough, even if she didn't know the reasons for them, and if she'd thought there was anything strange about them, she'd never mentioned it.
"Hi, Xander," she replied, smiling back at him.
"Is Giles around?" Xander asked.
"He's in back," Lisa said. "Do you want me to get him for you?"
Xander shook his head. "No, I'll just go on back and see him. Thanks," he replied.
"Sure thing," Lisa said. She smiled at him again, then turned back to the catalog on the counter in front of her. Xander made his way to the door to the shop's back room, and after a brief pause, he opened it. He stepped into the training room to find Giles sweeping up along one wall, and he looked up as Xander entered the room.
"Hey, Giles," Xander said, closing the door behind him.
"Oh, hello Xander," Giles said. He leaned the broom he was using up against the wall and turned to face Xander. He'd taken off his jacket, but Xander was amused to note that, even though he'd been sweeping up, the rest of Giles's clothes didn't even look a little bit rumpled. One of these days, he'd have to ask him what his secret was.
"Are you busy?" Xander asked. "I can come back." He didn't want to; now that he'd worked up the nerve to come and talk to Giles, he really didn't like the idea of having to do it all again later, but…
Giles shook his head. "No, that's not necessary," he said. "I was just doing a bit of cleaning. Buffy should be coming by later to train."
"Hey, speaking of that," Xander said, "are you ever going to tell Lisa about what we do? You know, that Buffy's a Slayer, and all that?"
"I'd considered it," Giles replied. "I suspect she knows a great deal of it already, or at least has suspicions. I don't believe she accepted my explanation that Buffy is heavily into college athletics," he finished with a meaningful glance toward the punching bag.
"Oh, come on, it wasn't that implausible," Xander said. "I hear the competition among gymnasts can get pretty darned nasty these days."
Giles chuckled. "Well, at any rate, it seems that now the issue is moot," he continued. "She's given me notice that she intends to quit at the end of the month."
"Really?" Xander said. "That's too bad. What are you going to do when she leaves?"
"I suppose I shall have to find someone to take her place," Giles said. "If need be, I can run this place myself, but I wouldn't like to try doing so for very long."
"Well, is there anything I can do to help?" Xander asked. "I mean, I already have a job, but I could help out. You'd probably want to keep me away from the magic stuff, but if there's anything else…"
"No, that's quite all right," Giles replied. "Your assistance in getting this place ready for opening was invaluable, and I greatly appreciate it. But you needn't worry about how things are going here at the shop. I'm certain that I can manage."
Xander nodded. Giles probably wouldn't have too much trouble finding someone to take Lisa's place – it hadn't taken him very long to hire her, after all. But he'd figured he should offer to help out anyway.
"So what brings you here?" Giles asked. "I hadn't expected to see you today."
"Yeah, there's…something I need to talk to you about," Xander replied. He paused, glancing around the training room. "Is there someplace we can sit down?" he asked.
"Certainly. We can use my office," Giles said. "Follow me." He retrieved his jacket from the peg on the wall he'd hung it on, then put it on as he turned toward the door Xander had come in through. Xander fell in step behind him as he passed back into the main area of the shop. Giles took a brief look around and then, satisfied that there was nothing that needed his immediate attention, headed for the counter. Lisa was helping a customer, so Giles simply nodded to her as he stepped behind the counter and opened the door to his office.
Xander followed after him as he stepped inside, and Giles closed the door behind them. His office was small, but there was enough room for Giles's desk as well as a small table and a few chairs. Xander sat down in one of them, and Giles took a seat in front of his desk. He turned the chair to face Xander and leaned forward slightly.
"So, what did you wish to talk about?" Giles asked. Xander could see from his expression that Giles knew that he had something serious to tell him.
Well, it was probably best to just be direct. In his experience, beating around the bush usually led to a lot more trouble than it was worth. "You know how Willow and Tara are together, right?" Xander asked.
At Giles's answering nod, he continued. "Well, now I'm with them too," he said. "We're all together. As in we're-all-in-a-relationship together."
"Oh," Giles said. He blinked, but otherwise gave no outward sign that he was taken aback by what Xander had just told him. "I see."
I have to hand it to him, he has a great poker face, Xander thought. "We just thought we should tell you," he continued hurriedly. "You know, we thought it'd be the right thing to do. None of us wanted you to find out the way you found about Willow and Tara. I mean, that was major badness all around."
"Well, I…I do appreciate the consideration," Giles replied. He paused, and Xander watched him carefully, trying to judge his reaction. When he didn't say anything else, Xander spoke again.
"So, if there's an emergency or something and you need to find me, you can reach me at Willow and Tara's apartment," he said. "Our apartment now, I guess."
"I'll remember that," Giles said, nodding. Then he fixed Xander with a serious look. "I must say, this is very unexpected," he continued.
"Yeah, I can see why you'd say that," Xander replied. "A couple of weeks ago, I wouldn't have believed it myself."
Giles looked at him for a moment. "So… I certainly don't wish to pry into your personal matters," he said, "but, is this a serious relationship?"
Xander rested one arm on the table next to him. "Yeah," he said. "This isn't just the three of us having fun for a while. It's serious. There's something between us – between all of us – and we're going to try to make it work."
Giles nodded. "Well," he said after a moment's pause, "if all of you are serious about this, I wish you the best of luck."
"So… You're okay with this?" Xander asked.
"Xander, it's not for me to approve or disapprove of your personal relationships," Giles replied. "Or Willow's. Or Tara's, for that matter. You have your own lives, and if all of you have truly decided that this is what you want…then I hope you will be happy together." He smiled at him, and Xander returned the gesture, feeling not a little relieved. He hadn't really thought that Giles would react badly to being told about his, Tara, and Willow's relationship, but it was nice to have that confirmed nonetheless.
"Well, thanks," Xander said. "I really appreciate that. I'll pass it on to Willow and Tara, and I'm sure they will too."
The important part of the conversation was done, but there was one other thing that Xander was curious about. "So, Giles," he continued after a moment, "Willow, Tara, and I were talking about this with Ms. Summers a few days ago, when we told Buffy. And she mentioned that she'd seen a few relationships like ours back when she was in college. So, I was just wondering if you'd seen anything like this yourself."
Giles chuckled. "Yes, there were several…shall we say, non-traditional relationships in my social circles when I was younger," he said. "But believe me when I tell you this, Xander, you do not want to look to any of those relationships for lessons as to how to handle your own."
"Ah. Gotcha," Xander replied. "Well, I just thought I'd ask." He stretched his arms out in front of him. "Anyway, I think I should get going. Tara and Willow will probably be wondering how this conversation went."
"Well, I'll see you later, then," Giles said.
"Yeah, see you later," Xander replied. He stood and walked over to the door. He rested his hand on the doorknob, but before he could open it, Giles spoke again, stopping him.
"Xander…" Giles began, and Xander turned to face him again.
"Yeah?" Xander said.
Giles looked him in the eye as he continued. "Thank you for showing me the courtesy of coming to tell me this."
"Like I said, we thought it'd be the right thing to do," Xander said. "Willow and Tara were going to come too, but we talked about it and decided it might be less awkward if it was just me."
"Well, you were probably right about that," Giles said. He studied Xander briefly, then smiled. "I still remember that first day in the library, when I told you and Willow about the supernatural and you offered to help Buffy. Sometimes it's hard for me to believe that you're adults now."
Xander chuckled. "Sometimes it's hard for me to believe it, too."
Part 2
Willow opened her eyes and let out a breath of air. Blinking, she focused her gaze on Tara, who looked back at her and smiled. Willow returned the gesture as she felt the last traces of the magic they'd been practicing leave her body.
She and Tara were sitting together on the floor of the spare bedroom in their apartment, facing each other. They'd pushed the table back against the wall, next to the desk with Willow's computer, to clear space for them to sit and set out a few herbs for them to use. Willow looked down at their hands, clasped together between them, and squeezed Tara's hands gently before releasing them. She folded her hands in her lap as she met Tara's eyes again.
"That went well, I think," Willow said.
"I think so too," Tara replied. "We're getting a lot better at calling up the power of the Earth. I mean, we still have to be careful, but we can do it a lot faster now then we could when we first started."
Willow nodded. Besides practicing specific spells, she and Tara also practiced calling up and dismissing their magic every day, and it was paying off. Willow was happy about that, and with good reason. It was important – if they needed to cast spells in an emergency, a few seconds could make all the difference, and the faster they could call upon their powers, the better.
"So, do you think we should try one more spell?" Willow asked.
"I think that's plenty for today, sweetie," Tara replied. "If we try any more, I'm going to end up all worn out."
Willow frowned, but didn't protest. They had been at this for a while – well over an hour, as she discovered when she looked at the clock. This was probably a good time to stop.
"Okay," she said. "Let's clean up, then."
Picking up some of the herbs around them, Willow stood and walked over to the cabinet where they kept their magical supplies. Tara followed after her with the rest of the herbs and the bowl they'd used. Once they had everything stored, they stepped over to the table together.
"I really love doing this with you," Willow said as they moved the table back to its original location.
"What, moving furniture?" Tara asked, grinning.
Willow laughed. "I mean magic," she said as the two of them stepped out of the spare bedroom and walked into the living room together. "Before I met you, I practiced on my own, and a little bit with a couple of other people, but it wasn't like it is with you. Not even close."
They sat down on the couch together, and Willow turned slightly to face Tara as she continued. "It's not just that we're more powerful together," she said. "It's that, when we do magic together, it just feels…easier. More comfortable, you know? Like it was meant to be this way."
Tara smiled. "I feel the same way, honey," she said. "I practiced magic on my own too, when I could, and it just… It doesn't even compare to doing it with you."
Smiling back at her, Willow kissed Tara deeply, moving forward and embracing her as best she could with the way they were sitting. Tara lifted one hand to Willow's face, caressing her cheek, then ran her fingers through Willow's hair. Willow sighed softly into her girlfriend's mouth, and they held their embrace for a long moment.
Finally, they broke their kiss, and Willow snuggled against Tara. Tara wrapped one arm around her, and they relaxed on the couch together, stretching their legs out in front of them.
"So… How are you doing?" Willow asked after a moment.
"How am I doing?" Tara said, clearly a little confused by the question. She shifted next to Willow, and Willow pulled away from her a little so they could face each other.
"Yeah," Willow said, "you know, with Xander all moved in now, I was just wondering…if you're okay with it all."
"We talked about this back before he moved in," Tara replied. "And anyway, isn't it a little late for these kinds of questions?"
"I know," Willow said. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be asking things like this, especially now. I just…" She trailed off, sighing. "I worry. I always do. I can't help it."
Tara took her hand, lightly running her thumb over the back of it. "Sweetie, I'm glad that you're concerned about my feelings," she said gently. "But believe me when I tell you I am more than okay with everything that's happened. I would never have agreed to us getting together with Xander if I wasn't." She smiled at Willow, warm and reassuring.
"I know," Willow said, smiling back at her. She moved back toward Tara, settling in next to her once more. "I just want us all to be happy, you know?"
"Well, you make me happy," Tara said, raising Willow's hand to her mouth and kissing it softly. "And Xander makes me happy. So don't worry so much, okay?"
"I'll do my best," Willow replied, chuckling. She knew Tara was right – it was one thing to want Tara and Xander to be happy, but worrying obsessively about it was something else entirely. That wouldn't accomplish anything except piling on a lot of stress. Willow really wanted their relationship to work, but she knew she couldn't afford to keep worrying like this.
Just relax, and deal with problems as they come, she told herself. It was easier said than done for her, but she needed to try nonetheless.
"Good," Tara said affectionately. She kissed Willow's cheek, then smiled at her. "So, do you want to try the sunlight spell again tomorrow?"
"Yeah," Willow said. "We should try it again. There are a few things we could do differently that might help, I think."
Their conversation turned toward magic, and they talked about various spells they wanted to try and the different ways they could go about perfecting them until they heard a key in the lock of their front door several minutes later.
Willow and Tara stood up, walking over to greet Xander as he stepped into their apartment and closed the door behind him. "Hey," he said when he saw them, a big smile making its way onto his face. He was really happy, Willow could tell – his talk with Giles must have gone well.
"Hey yourself," Willow said, stepping in to give him a hug and a kiss. She held their embrace briefly, then moved back to let Tara kiss him as well. After they separated, Xander pulled off his shoes and the three of them walked over to the couch together.
"So how'd it go? With Mr. Giles, I mean," Tara said as they sat down together. Willow sat near the middle of the couch, and Tara and Xander took the places on either side of her.
"Yeah," Willow said. She reached for Tara and Xander's hands, clasping them and pulling them into her lap. "You guys talked, right? Tell us about it."
"It went well," Xander replied, flashing them both a smile. "I told Giles about us, and he was a little surprised at first, but we talked about it for a little bit, and he's fine with it. He says he hopes we'll be happy together."
Tara smiled happily at that. "That's great," she said.
"Yeah," Willow agreed, smiling back at Xander as well. "I'm really glad he accepted us so easily." Truthfully, she hadn't thought that Giles would have any problem with their relationship – she'd never believed that he was as stuffy as Xander did – but it was still nice to hear that confirmed.
"Me too," Xander said. "And it's nice to have this taken care of. You know, not hanging over us anymore." He turned slightly on the couch, and Willow watched as he fixed her and Tara with a serious look. "And… Thanks for trusting me to take care of this myself."
"Well, it made sense," Tara said. "I mean, Buffy wanted to talk to Willow alone, so it's probably easier to talk about things like this when you aren't facing three other people."
"You're probably right," Willow said. "Anyway, I'm just glad it all worked out."
Xander nodded. "So, what were you guys talking about when I came in?" he asked.
"Magic," Willow replied. "There are a few spells we're still working on, and we're trying to think of different ways we could practice them."
Xander tensed a little at her reply. "Ah," he said. "Well, I hope you can work it out."
Tara frowned. Obviously, she'd noticed Xander's reaction too. "Xander…can I ask you something?" she said gently.
"Sure," Xander replied after only a second's hesitation.
"How come… How come you're so nervous about magic?" Tara asked. "I mean, you said you didn't want to be involved when Willow and I were doing spells, and that's fine, but… It seems like you get anxious when we even talk about magic."
Xander didn't relax; if anything, Tara's question made him even more uneasy. Willow knew it was probably bringing back bad memories for him, and honestly, it was for her too. She'd forgiven Xander a long time ago for what had happened in high school, but still, it wasn't a fun time to think back on.
Sighing, Xander let go of Willow's hand and moved back on the couch. "I guess I should explain that to you," he said. "I just hope…" He shook his head, cutting off the rest of what he'd been about to say. His whole demeanor was troubled, and Willow could tell that he was worried about what Tara was going to think of what he'd done. Next to her, Willow could feel Tara tense, and she squeezed her hand in what she hoped was a reassuring gesture.
"Well. I've had a few bad experiences with spells, actually, but the big one happened back in high school." Xander focused mainly on Tara as he spoke, but he cast occasional glances at Willow, and she could see the guilt written all over his face. "It was a spell I made someone cast for me – not Willow, it was someone else – and it hurt a lot of people. Including Willow."
Xander shifted uncomfortably on the couch as he continued. "Back in high school, I was dating this girl, Cordelia. Well, okay, dating is kind of a stretch – back then, we were mainly just making out a lot. Anyway, she dumped me. On Valentine's day. As you might imagine, I was hurt, and angry, and I wanted to get back at her."
Xander sighed again. "So I blackmailed a witch named Amy into casting a love spell for me. I wanted her to make Cordelia fall in love with me so I could break up with her. I wanted to hurt her the same way she'd hurt me. But something went wrong with the spell. Instead of making Cordelia fall in love with me, it made every other woman fall in love with me except for her."
"I'm not surprised," Tara interrupted. "That something went wrong, I mean." Her tone was soft and thoughtful; she was clearly still taking in everything what Xander was telling her. "With love spells, especially, your heart and your intentions have to be pure."
"I know," Xander said. "Amy told me the same thing. But I didn't listen. My intentions were anything but pure." He chuckled, but there was no humor in it. "Anyway, women everywhere were fighting over me, chasing me everywhere, and doing a lot of things I'm sure they'd all like to forget until Giles managed to break the spell."
Willow turned toward Tara. "I went to Xander's room and waited for him half-naked in his bed." It was nice of Xander not to mention that part, but Willow figured that since they were talking about this, it was best to get this all out in the open now. "When he got back, I came on to him, but he ran away before much of anything happened."
"And there was more badness after that," Xander said.
Willow nodded. "I ended up as part of a mob, chasing him with a fire axe."
"That's right," Xander said, turning to meet Willow's eyes. "I'm still amazed you could forgive me for that." He directed his attention back toward Tara as he continued. "Anyway, that's pretty much the story. Giles broke the spell and everyone went back to normal. Luckily, no one was hurt – at least, not physically. I don't imagine that having their feelings messed around with like that was a lot of fun for anyone." He fell silent, looking down at the floor in front of him, and Willow didn't have any trouble reading how tense he was from his posture.
"Well," Tara said after a moment. "I'd say that definitely counts as a bad experience with magic."
"Yeah," Xander said, looking up at her again. "I just… I mean, I hope you…" He trailed off, clearly not sure what to say, and Willow glanced at Tara, trying to gauge her reaction to what Xander had just told her.
Tara obviously sensed Xander's nervousness, too. She stood up and walked over to him, sitting down on the coffee table in front of him. "Xander…you can relax," she said, reaching out to take his hands in hers. "I'm not upset with you over this."
Xander hesitated a moment before speaking, clearly surprised. "You're not?" he asked. "But…I know you take magic really seriously."
"I do," Tara said gently. "But, Xander… You made a mistake. Sure, it was a pretty big mistake, but we all make them. Don't you remember that demon-masking spell I did?"
Xander opened his mouth to protest, but Tara continued before he could speak. "The point is, it looks to me like you learned from your mistake. I mean, did you ever do anything like that love spell again?"
Xander shook his head. "No. No, never."
Tara smiled. "So I don't think there's any reason I should be upset with you over something that happened before I even knew you." She paused, looking Xander in the eye, and her smile faded as her expression turned serious again. "What I'm wondering is, is this going to affect our relationship now?"
Willow quickly realized what Tara was getting at. "Yeah, Xander," she said. "We're witches. Magic is an important part of our lives. I want…I mean, I hope that's not going to be a problem for you."
A moment passed in silence as Xander considered what they'd said. "No," he finally replied. "It won't." He smiled and reached toward Willow with one hand, keeping Tara's hand clasped with the other, and Willow shifted toward him on the couch, taking his hand as he continued.
"I don't have any problem with the fact that you're witches," he said. "In fact, I'm happy about it. And not just because it means you can help Buffy deal with the nasty stuff we run into, but because…I know magic is really important to you. And I'm glad you have something like this that makes you happy."
"Well, magic does make us happy," Willow said. "But you make us happy too. And I don't want you to be uncomfortable at all, you know?"
Xander gave her a reassuring smile. "Hey, don't worry," he said. "I can deal. I'll be fine, really."
Willow could see Tara relax a little at that. "Well, good," she said. "And, Xander… If you don't want to be involved at all when we do magic, that's fine and we'll respect that." She glanced at Willow, and Willow nodded her agreement.
"But… You should know that you don't need to be afraid of magic," Tara continued. "If you're not casting spells for petty and selfish reasons, if your intentions are pure, and if you're careful about the powers you're accessing… Well, it can be really amazing."
"So if you ever want to join us, when we're practicing or something…" Xander tensed at Tara's words and opened his mouth to speak, but she continued quickly, forestalling his reply. "You don't have to," she said. "I'm just saying you can."
"Yeah," Willow said. "No pressure, or anything. We just want you to know that you're welcome."
Her words put Xander at ease, and he smiled again. "Thanks," he said. "That really means a lot to me."
Tara rose from the coffee table and sat down next to Xander on the couch. Willow snuggled against his other side, and Xander wrapped his arms around them as they settled in together. "I know you still probably want to stay away from the magic," Willow said. "But if you ever change your mind, just let us know, okay?"
"I will," Xander said. He gave her a quick kiss, then turned and kissed Tara as well. "So I have to say, I'm feeling pretty good right now," he added after a moment.
"Oh? Why's that?" Willow asked. "Besides the obvious, I mean." She giggled and poked Xander lightly in the ribs, glancing meaningfully at his position between her and Tara.
"Well, I just got another big worry off my chest," he replied. "First, my talk with Giles, and now this. Pretty good for one day, I think."
"I know what you mean," Willow said. "I had some worries of my own earlier. But it's okay now," she finished quickly as Xander gave her a concerned look.
"We need to learn to be more like Tara," Xander said, turning and grinning at her. "She's so calm about these things."
"Yeah," Willow agreed. "She's positively serene."
Tara laughed. "Hey, I worry about stuff too, you know," she protested.
"I know," Willow said. "But you handle it so well. I get all jittery, but you always stay grounded – stay focused on fixing whatever's wrong."
Tara blushed and ducked her head a little, and Willow had to smile at how cute she looked. What she'd said was true, though, even if Tara was uncomfortable hearing it. It was one of the things Willow really admired about her – one of so many things.
Willow didn't say anything, she simply watched her in silence, and after taking a few seconds to regain her composure, Tara looked up at her and Xander and smiled. "Well, the main thing I want to fix right now is dinner," she said. "I'm hungry. How about you guys?"
"Sounds good to me," Xander said, accepting her change of subject. The message had gotten across, so there was no need to keep pressing the point. "What were you planning on making?"
And just like that, their conversation turned to lighter subjects, and Willow let herself relax. She was happy – content in a way she never could have imagined just a short time ago. And that, she realized – the way Tara and Xander made her feel – that was much more important than any worries she might have.
The End
Back to Ravenhawk's Stories...
Main What's New Fiction by Author Fiction by Pairing eBooks Subject Index Submissions Gallery Forums Links Awards Contact Us |
The Mystic Muse. © 2002-2009 All rights reserved. If you find problems on these pages please email your host. |