Kitchen Confusion by Jackson

Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Based on characters from Buffy The Vampire Slayer and Angel the Series, created by Joss Whedon.
Distribution: The Mystic Muse: http://mysticmuse.net
Biteable: http://www.biteable.co.uk/jackson/home.html
All others, please ask first.
Feedback: Yes, please.
Spoilers: Post-Chosen.
Pairing: Xander/Andrew

Summary: Andrew wants Dawn – or does he? Xander is totally cool with it – or is he?

Xander let himself into the house, dropping his keys with a clatter on the hall table, a grin spreading over his face as he inhaled the scent of fresh-baked cookies. He never got tired of coming home to that smell, and now they'd actually stayed in the same place for more than a month it was getting more and more regular. At first he'd had doubts about he and Andrew becoming roomies, but as the Scoobies had scattered, landed and scattered again after the demise of Sunnydale, he and Andrew just seemed to keep ending up in the same place. It had seemed nuts not to throw in together while in a strange city and as it turned out Andrew was pretty much the perfect person for him to bunk up with. He was obsessive about cleaning, which Xander was equally obsessive about avoiding, loved all the same TV as him, and cooked like an angel sent down from heaven whose mission it was to fill Xander's stomach with fresh-baked deliciousness. Of course he had this thing about straightening all the tassels on any rug he saw and threw a total hissy fit if his alphabetized, chronologically ordered DVD collection was messed up, but hey, nobody was perfect, and Xander actually thought those quirks were kind of endearing.

Today he'd gotten off work on the building site early because Dawn, who had come over from Rome to visit them for a couple of weeks was going back tomorrow, and Xander wanted to spend some more quality time with her before she left. Rome seemed to suit her; she now looked almost frighteningly sophisticated, had a string of admirers, and a disconcerting new habit of dropping Italian words into the conversation. Xander smiled fondly. Little Dawnie was all grown up, but underneath she was still the same cute kid with chocolate ice-cream smeared all over her face that Xander would always adore as his own little sis. Plus she and Andrew really seemed to have bonded on this visit. Xander was always coming across them giggling like a pair of schoolgirls.

He headed to the kitchen and heard Andrew's voice coming out of it. He reached towards the ajar door, then slowed as he heard the tone of Andrew's voice, painfully sincere, stammering earnestly.

"I guess what I want to say is, we've been through a lot together and you're one of my very best friends, and I don't want things to be weird or whatever if you don't want this too, but I have-have to tell you how I feel."

"The thing is my whole life I-I've never met anyone as wonderful as you. The way you get me, the way I can say anything to you. I'd do anything to make you happy, I think- I mean, I know I want to be more than friends, you're all I think about, and – and – God Dawn!" Andrew suddenly broke off sounding anguished. "Am I crazy? You'd tell me right? I mean am I just imagining this thing between us?"

"No!" Dawn sounded a little choked up, but vehement. "You're not imagining it – I could feel it the moment I arrived. There's something there, it's real Andrew. I just can't believe you haven't said anything before now."

"I've wanted to," Andrew said in a low voice. "So many times, but I was scared. I still am."

Xander's hand dropped away from the door. He felt as though he'd been walloped over the head, and – although he would deny forever more that he swooned – he certainly had to lean on the wall for support. Andrew and…Dawn?

"Oh, Andrew," Dawn's voice sounded choked. "You – of course – oh it's so…" her voice trailed off in a tearful, touched squeak, and there was a rustling sound that indicated they were embracing.

Xander felt something very sharp revolve painfully in his heart, misery and dismay hitting him with a palpable slap…along with a healthy dollop of disbelief. Andrew and Dawn? Together? But, but Andrew was gay – wasn't he? Okay, Xander had never asked, but he'd never thought he'd had to – it was so obvious. Andrew baked! He liked Captain Archer! He read comics that featured lots of muscular men wearing tights! He just…he had to be gay – it was against all laws of God and man if Andrew was straight! But apparently the sound of Andrew and Dawn hugging was actually the sound of reality knocking on his door. Andrew liked girls – or at least Dawn. And the tight knot in Xander's stomach was informing him in no uncertain terms that Xander didn't like that Andrew liked Dawn. Not at all.

Oh God, did this mean Andrew was going to ask the Council to transfer him to Rome? But he couldn't do that! Xander hated it when Andrew was sent away by the Council to pick up a new Slayer. He didn't much like being sent away himself – during his most recent assignment in Africa he had missed home constantly, with an almost physical ache but at least he was kept busy then – he really hated it when Andrew was away. The house felt too big and quiet. The kitchen wasn't the same without Andrew buzzing around, cooking and chattering about everything that had happened that day, the bathroom was always untidy without Andrew there to tick him off for not hanging the towels back up. His room with his comic collection just didn't feel the same without Andrew there to discuss them with, conversations that everyone else in the world found deeply boring and could keep them engrossed for hours. Even falling asleep on the couch wasn't the same, he'd wake up freezing, because Andrew wasn't there to cover him up with a blanket.

Xander's dismay began to merge into anger. What was Andrew thinking? And who did Dawn think she was, swanning in here with her Italian speaking and designer handbags sweeping Andrew off his feet? Big roommate stealer! She wouldn't make him happy! She didn't even know all the Captains of the Enterprise! He hovered outside the kitchen indecisively for a moment, not knowing what to do. Should he leave, let them do…whatever they were doing in there? Or should he spoil it, and keep them apart on Dawn's last night? Before he was even aware he was doing it he flung the door open and Andrew and Dawn, who were indeed hugging each other tightly, leapt apart violently.

"Xander!" Andrew gasped, clutching his heart. "You're home early, I didn't hear you come in!"

"Sorry," Xander said almost accusingly. "Am I interrupting?" He gave them a narrow-eyed, pointed look, and Andrew and Dawn exchanged a quick, uncomfortable glance, then took another hasty couple of steps apart.

"It's nothing we can't pick up later," Dawn said with a meaningful look at Andrew who flushed.

"Yeah. We'll see," Xander snapped before he could stop himself. Dawn gave him a strange look.

"Well guys, I'm gonna make a start on packing before we eat – ooh and I'll take a cookie too," she added brightly spying the cookies Andrew had baked and selecting, to Xander's fury, the largest one. Was nothing sacred? "What?" she asked in bewilderment as she caught Xander's eye.

"Okaaaaay," Dawn replied, giving him a 'you're weird' look, which Xander matched right back with a 'I may be weird but at least I don't fly in from Rome all dressed up and steal peoples roommates' pointed glare.

"Anytime!" She hovered for a moment giving him a big smile and a wink, and Andrew gave her a sweet smile back. Xander's heart clenched unhappily. Jeez why didn't they just get a room already? No! Scratch that. They definitely should not get a room. No rooms at all. In fact they should not even be inside together, only well lit public areas. With a chaperone. Not that he didn't love Andrew and Dawn and want them to be happy, he did. He just didn't want them to be happy with each other – it was wrong, that was all, it was weird and wrong!

"So how was work today?" Andrew asked brightly, turning to him as the door closed behind Dawn. He looked nervous, running his hands through his too-long hair that insisted in forming into kiss-curls. Xander felt a physical pang in his chest, and pretended to be engrossed in tracing his finger along the table-top.

"Fine. So how are you? Anything happened today? With Dawn? I mean you guys spent the day together right?" Xander tried to keep his voice casual, and give Andrew an easy opening into telling him what was going on, but it came out all wrong. He sounded weird and tense even to his own ears.

Oh, keeping secrets was he! Ashamed perhaps? Xander couldn't understand why Andrew hadn't told him that he was having feelings for Dawn. Over the past few months Xander had felt like they'd grown close, sharing everything from confidences, to clothes, to – on one never to be repeated occasion – the toilet when they both had food-poisoning from the local Chinese. Yet now Andrew wasn't even filling him in on a potential relationship that sounded really – Xander felt another stab of pain – important to him.

"Oh. Good. Good movie?" Xander wasn't going to ask about Dawn. Nope. Nosirree. If that was how Andrew wanted to play it, fine with him!

"Yes, it was okay," Andrew said thoughtfully, "I thought the premise was flawed though – it was that time travel one where –"

"What's going on with you and Dawn?" Xander blurted out. Ah, dammit! Stupid mouth, always saying stuff without running it past his brain!

"I – well you guys looked kinda close just now – and I overheard you saying that you liked her – and, and I was kind of shocked because I mean –" //don't say he's gay, don't say he's gay, don't say he's gay// "-I didn't think she was your type and I know it's none of my business, but I'm just worried you might be making a mistake and YOU'RE GAY!"

Okay, that was it – he was going to get a restraining order put on his mouth, making sure that everything it said was submitted in writing to his brain first.

Andrew stared at him like a rabbit caught in headlights. "W-why do you think I'm gay?" he stammered.

"I prefer to think that love knows no gender. After all, in season four, episode five of Deep Space Nine, when Jadzia meets one of Dax's past wives they're still in love, even though they're both girls now but –"

"Okay, first of all it was episode six and secondly, can we please focus? What are you saying? That you are gay, but it doesn't matter that Dawn is a girl because you…" Xander stopped. Something in him absolutely balked at saying 'love her' "…because there's something between you?" he finished.

"Yes! I mean no – I mean -" Andrew stopped and looked at him closely with a tiny frown appearing between his eyes. Xander crossed his arms and tried to look like someone that didn't care one bit if his roomie was gay or not or if he was planning to leave for Rome in the morning. Unfortunately he could feel his desperate need to know written all over his face. "Well, what do you think, Xander?" Andrew said at last. "Do you think if you like someone and really want to be with them, and can't stop thinking about them, that it matters if they're a guy or girl, no matter which type you always thought you liked?"

Xander swallowed, and dropped his eyes from Andrew for a moment. "No," he said quietly. "No, I guess it doesn't." He made an effort to pull himself together and act like a friend despite the unhappy churning in his stomach. "So you and Dawn, huh?" Andrew opened his mouth, he seemed to be attempting to say something but Xander swept on quickly, not wanting to hear it just now. "Well that's great, that's really, really great. Really. I was just shocked is all – I wouldn't have thought you two were each others type."

"No I mean it's great – really. Yeah, I was shocked, but I'm totally cool with it now."

"She's a great girl, one of the best, and you'd better treat her right, pal!" Xander wagged a finger in mock warning at Andrew.

"I know you would," Xander said more quietly. "And she's really lucky to have you too. I mean, who wouldn't be?"

There was a little pause, and Xander couldn't quite meet Andrew's eyes, for fear that his mixed up feelings would be written all over his face, and he still couldn't bear to ask if Andrew was planning to leave.

"So this calls for a celebration!" Xander clapped his hands together briskly. "I'm thinking we should go out –"

"– unless of course you guys want to be alone tonight, which of course I'm totally fine with – what?" Xander finally, thankfully managed to slam the brakes on his mouth as Andrew's last words penetrated.

Andrew blushed. "I wasn’t talking to Dawn just then – I mean I was but not about Dawn, I was…practicing."

"Yes, see there is someone I like, and well I wanted to tell them how I felt, but I haven't said anything, 'cos I was scared I'd mess up and when Dawn and I started talking about…this person, she suggested I practice – and you were right. It is a guy."

"Oh," Xander said blankly, trying to take all this in. So it wasn't Dawn, but there was someone. Some guy. Probably some up-tight, not-nearly-good-enough-for-him asshole from the Council, which meant at least Andrew wouldn't be moving to Rome – yet a fierce pang of jealousy still shot through him, and finally Mr. Slow On The Uptake realized what was really bugging him. It wasn't that he didn't like the thought of Andrew leaving -though he did hate it – or even that he didn't like the thought of Andrew with a girl – it was that he didn't like the thought of Andrew with anyone.

Shit. Shit! Why did he always have the worst luck in the world? He felt like punching the wall, but he swallowed his howl and made an effort to hide his feelings with a strained smile. Andrew was watching him closely. He may have messed things up for himself by being so slow to realize what had been right in front of him, but that didn't mean he shouldn't be supportive for Andrew when he had found someone special. Andrew of all people deserved to be happy. "Oh, well that's great too, Andrew," Xander tried to inject a little cheer into his bleak voice. "And if it makes you feel better, from what I heard you don't need to practice, what you said was…it was perfect."

"Oh, yeah," Xander nodded feeling sick at the thought of Andrew saying his speech to this mystery guy. "So…who is this guy? What's he like?"

Andrew hesitated for a moment, looking at him thoughtfully as though engrossed in some deep calculation and Xander shrugged, backtracking quickly. "Okay, personal question, you don't have to tell me-"

"No, it's okay, I-I'd like to tell you about him." Andrew paused, and smiled slightly. "He's…amazing."

"Uh-huh." Xander said, trying to block out his jealousy that there was a guy out there who could make Andrew's eyes light up like that. "How so?"

"He's really smart, he doesn't think he is, but he is. He's brave, and passionate, and warm, and he really makes me happy just to be around him."

"Well – he's not perfect," Andrew said, dropping his eyes from Xander's and twisting his fingers nervously. "He thinks Connery was the better Bond. And he never picks the towels up off the bathroom floor."

Xander's eyes widened and his jaw dropped as understanding burst open in his head.

Andrew's eyes flickered up to his nervously, and he bit his lip. Xander gulped. Something was happening to his heart – something warm and overjoyed and fantastic, even as he still gawked in disbelief. For a moment he and Andrew just looked at each other, and everything he wanted to ask was already answered in Andrew's adoring, painfully hopeful gaze. Xander fought down the strong urge to do a victory dance around the kitchen and cleared his throat. There was uncertainty still written on Andrew's face, and Xander didn't want it to stay there another second.

"Yeah. A guy. A friend. I didn't realize it for a long time. Not till today actually. He gave me a nasty moment when I thought he liked someone else."

"Oh," Andrew's voice was a little shaky. Their eyes caught and locked. "Well I don't think that you need to be."

"Yeah," Andrew almost whispered, looking up at him with dawning hope and happiness in his eyes.

"So, this guy that you like," Xander said as they stopped still, just inches from each other. "What would you like to happen with him?"

Andrew's breath was coming faster. So was Xander's. "Oh, m-maybe we could go out on a date?"

"Uh-huh," he shifted closer again, so there was barely six inches between them. Way into the personal space here, and liking it. So was Andrew if the way his pupils were dilating was anything to go by. "What else?"

Andrew licked his lips nervously, his eyes flicking over Xander's face. The very air felt charged with a tangible electric current. "Or maybe we could just…" Andrew swallowed. "Stay in?"

Xander brought a hand that was trembling slightly to lie next to Andrew's that was resting on the kitchen table. "Yeah," he breathed.

Andrew's gaze flickered to Xander's hand, and back to his face again. His tongue licked his lips nervously. Andrew's hand was brushing his now. Xander took Andrew's hand in his; it was warm and shaking a little. Xander lifted it to his mouth and kissed his fingers. Andrew inhaled sharply – and that was a sound Xander wanted to hear again and again. "O-or maybe he could j-just kiss me now?" Andrew gasped in a rush. Xander's heart kicked up the pace even faster.

"Yeah," his voice said faintly, as though it was coming from a long distance away "I think he could do-" He never finished what he was saying because the next moment he was kissing Andrew, and Andrew was kissing him back, and the ability to talk, along with any higher brain function seemed to have dissolved thanks to the sweet, warm mouth Xander was currently falling into. And somehow Andrew's arms were wrapped around him and one of Xander's hands was in Andrew's hair, the other on his back pulling him closer and kissing him more demandingly, which, judging by the sweet little sound Andrew made in the back of his throat, Andrew was quite happy to go along with, and the next moment Xander couldn't quite work out how it happened, but he and Andrew were on top of the kitchen table, and it was rocking slightly under them as they kissed and wriggled and slid against each other, and Andrew's legs were wrapped around his waist and the only thing more important than having his hands all over Andrew was possibly having his hands all over Andrew while he was naked, and just as he was about to lift up Andrew's T-shirt…

They snapped apart from the kiss and stared at the doorway with identical horrified expressions. Dawn stood there, her mouth open, taking in the sight of Xander lying on top of Andrew on the table, clothes rumpled, hair ruffled and lips kiss-swollen.

"Its cool guys," Dawn said grinning and waving her hand airily. "I'm happy for you. But do you think you can keep your hands off each other for just one more night?"

Dawn regarded them amusedly, then crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. "Oh, fine! Do you want me to try and get a flight on standby?"

Xander and Andrew exchanged a look, then turned to Dawn with matching expressions of hope, and both spoke at the same time.

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Kitchen Confusion

by Jackson

Copyright © 2006

vamp_jackson@hotmail.com