Three Ghosts by Coll

Disclaimer: - None of the characters are mine, except the ones that I make up, all rights to Joss Whedon, a.k.a. - God, and I think you all know the drill.

Spoilers: Everything up until Lies My Parents Told Me with a few references to 'Angel's' Orpheus. Faith is also in this, so that's a spoiler…I suppose.

Author’s Note: Thanks to Faith who let me use her idea and merge it with a short fic that I had already written but decided to elaborate on a bit. I'm probably going to use the names I gave to people from Kennedy's past in this story that I used from "At Night," although you won't have to read that to understand this story. As I've said, I love Kennedy and I love writing her, so here's to you guys enjoying my next Kennedy epic! Reviews always welcome…

Summary: After returning from L.A. with Faith and some new information, Willow's witchy sub-conscious goes ker-floopy again when she tries to help Kennedy after she gets hurt.

"So…this is fun," Kennedy muttered with a sigh as she absently ran her stake along someone's gate as she walked. "You know if it was opposite day, or something."

Willow shrugged as she grabbed Kennedy's other hand and took the piece of paper that she held. "Well, the way I figure it is, we're doing something," she told Kennedy, trying to lighten the mood as much as possible. "Plus…you know, no more potentials around to interrupt so we can actually get some alone time."

It seemed to be enough to lighten Kennedy's spirits a bit, because the potential laced her fingers together with Willow's. "Alone time is good," Kennedy said as she moved closer to Willow. "I missed you, you know. When you were getting Faith."

Although she stiffened and was slightly hesitant at first, Willow relaxed and enjoyed the feel of Kennedy's hand in hers, the way the potential's arm was brushed up against her own, and the way Kennedy made her feel. She treated Willow like she was the only thing and everything in the world. Willow hadn't been used to that in a long time.

"Yeah, me too," Willow admitted honestly as she gave Kennedy's hand a squeeze. "It was a little lonely at night. I know we never…shared my bed, what with you sleeping in it and me not, but we always talked in the morning. Sometimes, we not talked and did other things, which I missed too. Faith…let's just say she was not a suitable replacement."

Kennedy stopped walking and raised her eyebrows in mock jealousy at Willow. "I know there was something going on with you and her, you can cut the sexual tension with a knife," she teased Willow. "I sensed something with my 'lesbi-dar' when it came to Faith. Either that or she's just a completely sexual person."

"Might wanna go with the latter on that one," Willow advised as she looked down at the paper in her hand before squinting at the house they stopped out front of. "Is this it?"

After looking between the paper and the house, Kennedy shook her head. "Nah," she answered. "I think that's a five in the address, not a six. What's in this house, anyway? Anything useful First-wise?"

"Hopefully," Willow told her as they continued down the street. "Angel and Wesley had a few references they said we should look into. I figure, any information we can get is worth taking a walk for."

"Or a drive in Mr. Giles' car over to the next county and then a walk," Kennedy corrected as she studied the piece of paper in Willow's hand. "All for something as vague as 'Source of Evil,' comma, 'The.'"

"I'll take vague over nothing at all." Willow said as she held their interlocked hands up so she could look at Kennedy's watch. Things grew quiet between them after Willow dropped their hands. Not bad quiet so much as enjoying each other's presence quiet. Kennedy kept inching closer to Willow, who tried to keep a big, doofy grin from appearing on her face every time Kennedy did this.

"So…things weren't weird?" Kennedy asked, not being able to take the silence anymore let alone able to hold down all the questions she wanted to ask Willow. "With Faith I mean. Andrew gave us the whole nerd-twist scoop on the situation, even though I'm not really sure he was even there. Anyway, she did a lot of damage, even when she came back that second time after she was in a coma and stuff."

"This is true," Willow admitted. "But we've both grown. Both tasted the dark side, embraced it, and I think we understand each other better. The weird part was this one girl there, Fred, she confused me."

Kennedy arched her eyebrow at Willow's comment, who instantly regretted ever saying anything. "Confused you how? In that way my dirty, little mind is thinking?" Kennedy asked, who really knew how but just loved playing with Willow. "I mean, was she hot?"

Willow stammered, "There was…some, attractive…ness about her, but I would have never-"

"Looks like I should've been worrying about the other fang gang ladies instead of Faith," Kennedy interrupted. "It was the Fred that called the house, right? I talked to some people who heard of her. Apparently, she's a big brain, and we all know you're all into the books. I guess you just…forgot about me."

"No, no," Willow shot back as she pulled Kennedy to a stop. "I told her I was seeing someone. Seeing you, you know?"

Her face dropped and her cheeks flushed with red. "Who told you I said that? It was Xander, wasn't it, because I know Buffy told him I said that, but I didn't-"

"Whoa, hold the babble," Kennedy told her with a laugh. "I was just kidding, Will. I actually thought it was cute…Plus, it was Anya who told me. Oh, hey, six!"

"Six what?" Willow asked, a little dazed by Kennedy, who pointed to the house they were stopped outside of. "Oh, six! Guess this is our place."

"And just when we were getting into the good, awkward part of the conversation," Kennedy joked as she snapped her fingers. "What's in this place anyway? A book dealer or something?"

"Or something," Willow answered as she opened the fence door and let Kennedy step through first. "Guess we'll find out soon. Also…maybe you should just slide that up your sleeve."

Kennedy shot Willow a quizzical look before getting that she was referring to her stake. "Oh," she said as she slid it up her sleeve. "Guess you're right. I mean, we don't know these people…don't think Woody would make the best first impression."

The potential shrugged as she jogged up the steps and knocked on the door. "Just a little nickname." Kennedy muttered when Willow stood next to her, in front of the door.

They waited a few moments, both Kennedy and Willow looking at each other briefly and smiling before turning away. This didn't go on to long, though. Willow knitted her brows together as she knocked on the door again.

"I'm guessing no one's home." Kennedy thought out loud after waiting another minute. She took a chance and turned the doorknob.

Willow cut herself off when Kennedy pushed the door open. The house was trashed. "Jesus," Kennedy muttered as she took a step into the house. "Someone sure did a number here."

"Wait," Willow said a little more forceful than she meant as reached out, grabbed Kennedy's arm, and yanked her out of the house. "I'm feeling something."

"You couldn't feel it when we were walking up here?" Kennedy joked, but then grew serious when she realized how freaked Willow was. "Maybe that book is important after all…"

After looking over at her, Kennedy took a step back. Willow's eyes had gone black and her hands were balled into fists at her side. "It's not here anymore, but something else is." She said in a low, hushed tone.

Even though they had talked and gotten past all the magic issues, it still made Kennedy jump when she would look over at Willow and realize that her green eyes were gone and that she was getting into some heavy mojo. Every time, Kennedy would just get this feeling in her stomach that Willow would shoot her hand out and suck the life from Kennedy to do a spell.

It wasn't a comforting feeling, and Kennedy hated being afraid of someone who meant so much to her. "Something evil wise?" Kennedy asked. "Or something useful wise?"

"Both," Willow answered as she loosened her grip and her eyes returned to normal. She looked over at Kennedy who was leaning up against the doorframe and clinging to the sides. "You OK?"

Pushing herself off the wall, Kennedy let her stake slide into her hands and raised it, ready to use if she needed to. "It's not really a vampire thing going on here." Willow said as she followed Kennedy, also putting her guard up.

"Yeah, well, pointy thing," Kennedy replied as she motioned to her stake. "Pointy thing going into people, and/or demon people, hurts them. It can do enough damage if I shove it into someone's gut."

"That was kinda sweet, you know?" Willow joked, more to herself, but still Kennedy wasn't amused. She was all business. Out of all the potentials, Willow noticed that she had come the farthest when it came to training, hence the leading of drills and being involved in the Scoobies.

Willow did feel bad for her sometimes, though. A few of the other potentials, the newer ones, say stuff about her; only when she gets all Captain Blood on them though during training. They'll say stuff about her relationship with Willow and how that's why Kennedy is more involved in the slayer's inner circle.

That was anything but true, though. Willow knew she was a little biased, what with whole relationship thing, but others have voiced their praise about Kennedy as well. Sure, Willow and the others admitted, Kennedy had an attitude problem and she could be sure of herself, but she's got something.

Something that Willow noticed right away, even before the strong coming on. "Maybe we should split up," Willow suggested as she stopped and looked up at the stairs. "There are three floors to search, all well equipped with rooms and nooks to hide things."

"I don't know," Kennedy replied as she turned to face Willow. "We don't even know what we're looking for, Will. Plus, you said there still might be something here."

"It might just be the evil residue from whatever was here, Kennedy," Willow suggested. "Besides, I just wanna get out of here, this place is kinda creepin me out."

"I'll second that," she agreed. "But I'm still not liking the splitting up thing. I mean, what if you're back was turned and someone came at you?"

Almost as if on cue, a bringer appeared behind Kennedy. "Oh…behind you!" Willow called out as she reached forward and grabbed Kennedy's hand, tugging her forward, but not soon enough. While the blade of the knife didn't go completely through Kennedy, it made a pretty deep cut. The potential cried out in pain, but she wasn't down for the count.

Kennedy countered, putting her support on Willow as she turned slightly and connected her foot with the bringer's ugly, eyeless face. It sent him back a couple feet, but he just stumbled and was ready to attack again; Kennedy was ready though.

While he charged, Kennedy held her stake out and he ran right into it. The bringer grunted in pain as blood poured out of his mouth before Kennedy pulled her stake out and let the bringer crumble to the floor.

"Are you OK?" Willow asked immediately after Kennedy killed the bringer. "I'm sorry I distracted you. If I hadn't been so-"

"Hey, Will," Kennedy interrupted quietly as she put her thumb over the witch's lips while her other hand clung to her wound. "This isn't your fault. It's mine…I'm the one that jinxed myself."

The attempt to lighten the mood worked for a moment, but then the numbing pain of a nearly fatal stab wound sunk into Kennedy. Her knees gave out and she sunk to the ground, Willow following close behind. "OK, ow…" Kennedy trailed off as Willow reached into her pocket and retrieved her cell phone.

As Willow dialed, Kennedy's eyes grew wide. "Will…" she said in a cautious tone, but Willow wasn't paying attention. She had no idea that two bringers were right behind her, ready to attack.

Mustering up all the strength she could, Kennedy gritted her teeth and pushed herself up. Willow went to stop her, but the potential was just too quick. Willow gasped and tripped backwards when she saw the other bringers behind her.

Kennedy was getting a few good punches in, but she was in pain and losing strength fast. The bringer swung his knife down and Kennedy caught his arm by the wrist and struggled to keep it from slicing open her stomach.

With a cry of pain, and rage, Kennedy managed to turn the bringers knife around and began to force the knife towards the bringer. In the midst of her struggle, she failed to see, or remember, the other bringer.

It was sneaking up behind her and just when it was about to attack, slicing it's blade through the air and towards Kennedy, but it stopped and was thrown back when the knife was inches from Kennedy's flesh.

The bringer that Kennedy was struggling with was distracted by this and Kennedy got the better of him, shoving it's own knife into it's stomach. It gasped in sudden and shocking pain before going in limp and slumping on to Kennedy.

She pulled the knife out quickly and limped over to the other bringer that was trying to stab her through the barrier Willow had set up. "Thanks, baby." Kennedy smiled as she raised the knife and thrust it forward.

Before it hit the force field, Willow lowered it and Kennedy's knife made contact with the bringer. Willow fought to catch her breath as Kennedy let the knife clatter to the ground before looking herself over.

"Is that all of them?" Kennedy asked as she took a few steps over to Willow and offered her hand, then switched when she realized the hand she offered was covered in blood.

"Pretty sure," Willow answered as she accepted Kennedy's hand and let the potential pull her to her feet. "I'm not getting any evil vibes, so…are you OK? I mean, three bringers, Kennedy. How are you feeling?"

Kennedy shrugged. "Bloody," she answered honestly. "So…should we keep searching or leave? I mean, I'm feelin kind of charged now; also, you know, stab wound on my back."

"Yes, well, of course we leave," Willow answered as she turned Kennedy around and examined the cut. "Maybe we should look around for a first aid kit or something."

"I'll be OK," Kennedy told her, gritting her teeth through the pain as she pulled off the long sleeve shirt she was wearing and pressed it against her wound, shivering slightly at the cool air that hit her body. Now, all she wore was a tank top that was now slightly red from all the blood. "Just…you know, I hope I don't bleed on Mr. Giles' car too much. Besides, it just smarts, it's nothing serious. I'm still charged."

"Yeah, like pumped or something," Kennedy confirmed, furrowing her brow a bit as her mind wander to the land of thought. "You know, Faith said she wanted to have a talk with me…about slaying and post-slay-age feelings, do you know what she's talking about?"

Willow stopped and stammered a bit, trying to decide on what she should say, knowing all too well what Faith had in mind. "Nothing that I can think of now," Willow decided on. "Maybe we should go. This wasn't the only resource Wesley suggested."

"OK, I am so glad you said that, Will," she admitted as she tucked her stake inside of her jacket. "I feel dirty, and not in the good way. So, do we head back to command central, face the wrath of Captain Holier Than Thou?"

"Probably, but hey, you know, Buffy'll probably be happy that you took care of the bringers, after we make you less bloody of course," Willow assured her with a smile as they exited the house. "The bringers probably got the book anyway. Wesley mentioned something about The First probably wanting the book too, so…"

"Hey, why do I feel like ravaging you right now?" Kennedy blurted out as they walked away from the house and back toward the car.

Saying that the question caught Willow off guard was an understatement. "Hey! That was…wow, that was um…wow," she responded. "Will random cover it?"

"Just trying to make conversation," Kennedy shrugged as she took Willow's hand into her blood free one. "I am bleeding here you know, I need to think of other things. Is that the charge I'm feeling? It's a slayer thing, right?"

"Yeah, um, I'm not sure how comfortable I am talking about this with you leaving a trail of blood behind us," Willow answered as she looked at Kennedy with concerned eyes. "Maybe I should have given you my jacket, you're sort of shaking."

Kennedy forced a smile on for Willow. It was true, she was shaking and the pain was getting more intense with each minute that passed, but Kennedy didn't wanna be a wuss. She'd gotten a lot nastier cuts than this one, so why was she feeling like death?

"Then you'd be cold." Kennedy told Willow before her knees turned to jelly and she folded to the ground like a rag doll. Willow stayed by her side the whole time, and Kennedy could see her debating running to get help or staying with her.

"Don't leave me, Kennedy," Willow pleaded as she decided to attempt using her cell phone again. "Just stay with me. I'll get an ambulance or something and everything will be OK."

Willow was shaking, even worse than Kennedy was. The potential took one of her hands and put it over the knot that was Willow's hands trying to fumble with the phone as she dropped it. "Willow, sweetie, I'm not going anywhere," Kennedy whispered. "Just relax, OK. I'm not leaving you. You should get the car though, we don't need a hospital."

"Then help me up," Kennedy said as she began to squeeze Willow's hand, preparing to put her weight on Willow. "The car's a couple blocks away, I'll make it."

Hesitantly, Willow rose to her feet and pulled Kennedy up with her, shifting her own weight so that she could better support Kennedy. Willow grabbed the shirt that Kennedy had been holding on her back and applied the pressure for her as she kept her arm around the potential's waist. "Sorry, sorry," Willow apologized as she took in a deep breath while watching Kennedy's face scrunch in pain. "Um, we should talk about things, you know? Keep your mind off the pain."

"Anything that'll take my mind off the pain gets my vote," Kennedy responded. "So…why don't you tell me why I still wanna swallow the pain and push you against the fence and let groping ensue."

Through the blushing, Willow decided that if it would keep Kennedy's mind off the pain, she'd talk about the hungry/horny deal. "OK, when we first met Faith, she told us something about a feeling that slayers can get after a…fight," Willow started, looking over every now and then to make sure Kennedy was doing good. "She claimed that they tend to feel hungry and…and horny, which would explain why you're feeling what you're feeling."

"Huh," Kennedy managed as she looked straight ahead, trying to wrap her mind around that concept. "So…is it like better? You know, like sex wise? I mean, have you and Buffy talked about that kind of stuff?"

"W-well, see…the thing is," Willow stammered, torn between making Kennedy feel better but not at all comfortable talking about this subject. "Buffy's…details are her…details. A-and, vice versa, so while I know what she…does, we don't really give a play by play…thing."

"I'm gonna have to talk to Faith about that then," Kennedy decided. "You know, compare notes after I'm not all bloody and sliced open."

"Notes?" Willow repeated, a little surprised with herself that she was able to think about that kind of stuff when all she had been thinking about was helping Kennedy. "What I meant was…well, actually, notes?"

Kennedy could only smile at the way Willow's mind worked. "If you wanted, we could compare notes too," Kennedy suggested…suggestively. "I mean, all your years of being a Scooby, you have to have felt the Faith Factor."

"Hey, is that the car?" Willow announced as they were, in fact, getting closer to the car. "Look at the combination of metals and plastics that has formed a car shape."

Kennedy laughed as, with her free hand, Willow fumbled around, trying to find her keys. "Fine, you get off only because the pain is getting a little more intense and numbing."

Willow clicked on the remote and the car alarm beeped off before Willow leaned Kennedy against the car as she opened up the passenger door. "So, we're going home? You don't want to go to the hospital?"

"Hospitals freak me out," Kennedy admitted as she shook her head. "Like I said, I'll be fine."

"OK," Willow said, even though she wasn't too sure that no hospital was the right way to go. She went to go and help Kennedy get in the car, brushing up against her in the process. "Sorry."

"Feel free to invade my personal space anytime." Kennedy responded as she held on to Willow's hands and pulled her body close to her own.

After pausing a moment to look deep into Willow's eyes, Kennedy bridged the gap between them and touched her lips to Willow's. The witch kept her eyes open in shock, trying to decide if Kennedy was just 'charged' from all the fighting or if she was going insane from the pain.

Either way, Willow's eyes drifted shut and she returned the pressure. Kennedy's hands stayed on top of Willow's as Willow moved them to the younger girl's hips. Forcing all the pain and everything else out of her head, Kennedy just focused on deepening the kiss with Willow.

They kept at it for a while, both omitting a few moans and coming up for air every now and again before the pain became a little too much for Kennedy. "OK, happy, but ow," she told Willow, who instantly got a guilty face. "No, it's fine. Believe me a kiss like that was worth pain."

"Good, but still feeling guilty," Willow responded. "Even more so now that I really enjoyed that and wanna continue."

"Plenty of time for that after I get stitched up," Kennedy told her as she grimaced when sitting into the car. "Trust me…I'll make time for it."

"Let's get you there first." Willow told Kennedy as she placed a light kiss on Kennedy's lips before closing the door and moving over to the driver's side.

That's all that's been running through her head the whole way home. Kennedy's condition hadn't gotten any better, and Willow was giving herself a mental lashing for not taking her to the hospital. "I'll be OK," Kennedy managed as she leaned almost all of her weight on to Willow as they walked up the walkway to 1630 Revello Drive. "Just need to lie still for a little and maybe have…ow, a couple bottles of aspirin or something."

"From where I'm standing, you don't look so OK," Willow retorted. "I still think I should have-"

"Say hospital and I'll muster up some strength to smack you," Kennedy interrupted with a wince of pain. "I told you, hospitals and me don't mix."

"Yeah, well, you and death don't exactly mix either, which is where this cut could led," Willow shot back, feeling a little bad about biting Kennedy's head off while also thinking that she was right. "It's just…I think the cut got torn and I don't want anything bad to happen to you."

Taking the steps carefully, one step at a time, Willow gave herself a small mental sigh of relief when they reached the top of the steps, but grunted out loud as she struggled with holding Kennedy up and opening the door. As they stepped into the house, Willow felt a little bit more of Kennedy's weight lean on to her. "Buffy!" Willow called out before she turned back to Kennedy. "Are you OK? You're having trouble walking."

"Just need to lie…down…" Kennedy trailed off weakly as her eyes rolled into the back of her head and her knees gave out. The sudden shift of weight was too much and Willow slumped to the ground with Kennedy, trying to keep the girl steady so that her wound didn't tear any further.

Buffy appeared from the kitchen, Faith in tow, and dropped to her knees immediately when she saw Willow and Kennedy. "Willow, what the hell happened?" she asked as she reached for Kennedy, but retracted her hand when she saw the gash on the girl's back.

"Bringers," Willow answered quickly before getting back to the more pressing concern. "We have to get this fixed, Buffy, I think Kennedy's lost a lot of blood."

After a look back to Faith, the two slayers gently lifted Kennedy off of Willow and laid her out on the couch, face down. "I'll go get the first aid kit." Buffy told Willow before running out of the room.

Willow sat down next to Kennedy and gently removed the shirt that she had pressed against the cut. She peeled it off slowly. With all the blood, the shirt was not only red now but almost stuck to Kennedy's back.

"OK, you're going to have to stop commenting on her almost fatal stab wound." Willow told Faith, hoping that the dark slayer would get the hint that what she was saying right now wasn't really helping.

Buffy walked back in with the first aid kit and went to give it to Willow, but Faith grabbed it instead and sat on the other end of the couch and cracked it open. "I'll take care of this," she told Willow before she had any chance of arguing. "You sissies will probably be all careful and stuff…a cut like this, you can't hold back. No pain, no gain."

Before Willow could argue in any way, Buffy grabbed her by the arm and pulled her off to the side while Faith patched Kennedy up. "Will, look, I know you're worried and you have every right to be, but I need to know what happened," Buffy told her. "Did you find the book before the bringers showed up?"

Willow shook her head as she kept looking over at Kennedy, motioning over there every now and again when she felt that Faith was being too rough with Kennedy. "No, we didn't have time to look because of the stabbing and blood." Willow answered, letting a twinge of sarcasm into her voice.

"OK, let's tone it down a notch…" Buffy said calmly. "Look, Willow, Kennedy's going to be fine. I'm pretty sure anyway…why didn't you take her to the hospital?"

"She was very forceful about the no hospital, Buffy," Willow said defensively. "I thought I was helping her, giving her what she wanted."

"Girl doesn't need a hospital," Faith called to them as she finished patching up Kennedy. "Red, come here and hold this. She's a freakin potential, and this is a flesh wound. Besides, I'm with her all the way about hospitals. I spent months in one, not fun."

"Well, I'm thinking if she lost a lot of blood, hospital would be a good thing," Buffy suggested. "A bandage and kiss it better isn't going to help that."

"And having junior here freak out when she realizes you all went against her wishes is?" Faith shot back as she finished taping up Kennedy's bandage. "Going to help, that is. Just give the girl a night, B."

Willow took her eyes off of Kennedy for the first time since they got home and looked over at Buffy. Her jaw was clenched, fists balled, and totally trying not to go buck on Faith challenging her authority. "Fine," she gave in through gritted teeth. "But I want you to remember who's in charge from now on, Faith."

With that, Buffy stormed out of the living room. Willow turned her eyes to Faith who merely shrugged. "What crawled up her ass and made itself a nice home?" she asked Willow.

"She's been…edgy." She told Faith after finding the right word. While Faith did have a point about Buffy, the slayer still was Willow's best friend.

"Suppose I better make with the nice." Faith said unenthusiastically as she pushed herself off the sofa and followed Buffy into the basement, where she retreated to no doubt.

Willow looked back to Kennedy, eyeing the now bandaged cut that had dried blood around it. She quickly took her eyes off of the painful sight and brushed some hair out of Kennedy's face. Her eyes flinched under her eyelids at Willow's touch, but she didn't wake up.

A deep sigh escaped from Willow as her hopes were shot down and she took Kennedy's hand in her own, lacing their fingers together. "I hope your no hospital thing works out cause, no offense, you're not looking so good," Willow told her quietly, not sure if Kennedy could hear her or not. "People keep telling me you're strong…I mean, I know you are, strong, but you're not invincible and you were stabbed so…I don't really know what I'm saying.

"I just wish there was something I could do to help." Willow finished before her eyes grew wide with thought. She dropped Kennedy's hand and walked over to the bookshelf, running fingers along the spines of witch craft and demon books. Her fingers passed over one book before stopping and going back to one titled "Spells of Healing."

She crossed the room and sat down on the coffee table, opening the book up in her lap and flipping through the pages. "Come on, come on," she whispered to herself before stopping on one page and reading over one particular spell. "This could work."

To prepare for the spell, Willow pushed the table aside, so that she could sit cross-legged in front of Kennedy. She also grabbed three candles, lit them, and placed them in front of her. The spell book lay open to Willow's left as she placed her hands on her knees and began to recite the right words for this particular spell:

"Bone to muscle, muscle to flesh, flesh to life,
The wounds on this chosen girl,
From instruments, a bringer's knife,
Using the earth, the world,
Heal this girl's wounds, give her new life."

Instinctively, Willow's eyes closed as she felt the mystical energy surround her and Kennedy. She urged some of her strength, as well as some of the earth's energy, into the potential. When Willow's eyes snapped open, the energy was completely surrounding Kennedy now.

There was something bigger going on, and Willow tried desperately to hold on to herself and not lose control. She missed something…it was bigger than her and she didn't know what to do. The energy was already surrounding Kennedy and Willow tried to make it stop, but she couldn't.

Not until Buffy showed up and tugged Willow away. They fell back on the floor and looked on as the energy around Kennedy sunk down and disappeared inside of her, and the flames from the candles rose and grew more intense for an instant before reducing and going back to normal, flame size.

"Willow, what the hell…?" Buffy began, but she saw the spell book open near the couch. "Never mind, I know what you were doing. Trying to heal Kennedy?"

"I just thought I'd speed up the process a bit," Willow admitted guiltily. "It wasn't the right spell, though. I mean, it was right, but it was different. There was something bigger behind it that I didn't see before."

Both Buffy and Willow pushed themselves up. Willow went over to the book, picked it up, and read over the spell she had used. Buffy walked around the candles and sat down on the edge of the couch, by Kennedy. She went to touch one of the candles, to blow it out, but Willow held her hand up, "No, don't…those were part of the spell. When you pulled me out, you kinda paused it. If you mess with anything, Kennedy could get hurt."

"Will, is she OK?" Buffy asked as she reached for Kennedy's bandage. "I mean, is she still supposed to be unconscious?"

"No, the spell was supposed to speed up her healing process," Willow answered as she ran her finger along the lines of the spell. "I think it's working, but like I said there's something different."

Willow stepped around the candles, getting behind Buffy and looking down at Kennedy. Her jaw dropped and the book connected to the floor with a thud. "How did…?" Buffy started to ask, but let her question trail off.

"Shouldn't she be awake then?" Buffy asked Willow, still not taking her eyes off of Kennedy's non-wound. Buffy leaned forward and placed her fingers on Kennedy's neck, just in case Willow's spell went that far. "She's alive, at least." Buffy told Willow, who was dreading the news the moment Buffy reached forward, but instantly felt relief knowing she hadn't inadvertently killed Kennedy.

"That's the theory," Willow concurred. "Yet, there she is all asleep. Like I said though, the spell wasn't exactly right, so…" Buffy just nodded, not really too sure of what to do with the situation.

"What are you two doing?" Faith asked with raised eyebrows, lingering a few feet away from the couch. "You think staring at Kennedy's ass is going to help her get up?

Both Willow and Buffy's heads snapped up at Faith's comment. "Willow did a spell," Buffy answered as she pushed herself up off the couch and around the candles. "Now Kennedy's healed, but not waking up and the spell is on pause and this is just the last thing we need right now."

"So…what do we do?" Faith asked with a shrug. Buffy shrugged too, not really sure where to go from where they were. Defeated, they turned to Willow who had lowered herself on to the sofa, still flipping through the pages of her spell book.

"There's really not that much you guys can do," Willow admitted. "The answers in this book, I just have to find it. Find out, exactly, what kind of spell I did on Kennedy exactly."

"Whatever," Faith commented as she turned to leave. "I just wanna freakin fight already. Red promised me action…"

"Will, you sure you'll be OK?" Buffy asked after she turned to follow Faith and then turned back to Willow again. "I mean, this stuff seems like heavy magics to me."

Willow nodded back before getting uneasy and shrugging. "I'll give you a call if I decide to get into the heavy stuff," she told Buffy. "For now I'm just going to try and figure out what I did exactly."

"Good luck," Buffy offered. "I'll keep the rest of the girls downstairs, give you some space here."

The slayer received a smile in response before following Faith out of the living room. Willow moved her book over to the table and set up research shop. She looked over at Kennedy every now and again. She couldn't help but feel guilty every time her magic didn't go well and someone always got hurt.

Especially Kennedy nowadays. The potential had gotten more than a mouthful's taste of what happens when Willow's magic goes crazy: first with the whole Warren thing, then with the sucking her life thing, and now with the healed but still in a magic coma thing.

After looking at Kennedy briefly and turning away again, Kennedy's eyes snapped open and gasped for air. She was breathing heavily and she tried to push herself up, but fell back on to the couch. "God, what the hell happened?" she asked as her wild, scared eyes looked around the room.

All she remembered was walking with Willow, then bringers, slight pain that turned into numbing and painful…pain. The first thing she noticed was the three candles that were lit in front of the couch. She furrowed her brow at them before looking up and seeing Willow flipping through some book.

"Willow?" Kennedy asked as she successfully got off the couch and walked over to the table. "Hey…yoo-hoo? Will?"

Kennedy was now in front of Willow's face, waving her hands around. Kennedy went to put her hands over the book so that Willow couldn't read, but her hands went right through it. "Whoa!" Kennedy exclaimed as she jumped back, pulling her hand out of the book. "What the hell is going on? Willow?"

She still wasn't answering, too immersed in whatever she was reading; but something else caught Kennedy's eye that made her freeze. Her mouth hung open when she saw herself lying, face down, on the sofa. Her mind couldn't grasp what was happening right now.

At least that's how she perceived herself initially. Then, upon closer inspection, Kennedy saw herself breathing. After a small sigh of relief, Kennedy began to silently panic, wondering that if she wasn't dead what the hell was she? "OK, officially not funny," Kennedy muttered as she walked back over to Willow and stood in front of her. "Can you really not see or hear me? Will?"

Nothing. Kennedy was getting seriously pissed. She couldn't remember anything that happened and she didn't like playing The First, it was frustrating. She folded her arms over her chest, sighed, and looked down.

That's when she noticed the book Willow was reading. It was a spell book, she gathered that by the way it was all old, crusty, and thick paged with weird, funny looking writing on it. Her focus was on the particular spell that Willow was studying.

"Great," Was all that Kennedy could muster when she saw that Willow was looking at a healing spell, and Kennedy appeared to be the target for the healing and the magic and the fact that she wasn't corporeal anymore. "Ugh, magic sucks."

Kennedy couldn't help the disappointment that she was feeling. Once again, magic managed to drive a wedge into her relationship with Willow. On top everything, Kennedy couldn't remember what happened to her, so she didn't even know why Willow used magic on her to begin with.

Not being able to take the frustration she was feeling just by standing near Willow, Kennedy turned to walk away. When she saw herself on the sofa, she decided the kitchen would probably the best place for her to escape everything. Kennedy paced back and forth, lost somewhere between freaking out and needing to think of a plan to get herself out of this.

"Just stay calm, Kennedy," she told herself as she stopped pacing and went to lean against the kitchen door. "Willow probably knows something's wrong and is trying to-whoa!"

Apparently she wasn't yet used to the whole able to go through things deal. Kennedy went to lean against the kitchen door and ended up going through it and landing on her back outside. "Well, this is just great." She muttered.

The fall didn't hurt, but it just reinforced that Kennedy wasn't corporeal. She let herself lay there, not sure what to do or even where to begin to try and help herself. Defeated, she let her head fall back to the porch and she looked up at the sky.

"What the hell am I gonna do?" she whispered as she closed her eyes, scrunching them shut, trying to forget everything that was happening. She had been doing that a lot lately, trying to forget everything that's been happening to her.

Sometimes, the whole tough guy façade she put up was so hard to maintain. Kennedy kept at it though. It was a lot better than opening up about things and letting her whole messed up life spill out…everyone had so much more to deal with right now.

Kennedy's eyes snapped open as the kitchen door opened and Buffy and Faith exited the house, followed by all of the slayers in training that were being held up at the Summers' residence. Forgetting for a second what was going on, Kennedy let out a yelp as she covered her face when they all walked past her…well, through her.

She scrambled up and followed the girls. Buffy spread the potentials out, letting them spar with each other and what not in the backyard. Kennedy soon found out that it was just a tactic so that her and Faith could have a chat.

Kennedy smiled to herself as she stood next to Faith, both of them facing Buffy who was still ordering the slayers in training. Maybe this whole non-corporeal thing wasn't going to be as bad as she thought it was going to be. "What do you think?" Buffy asked, her eyes still on the girls. "I mean, I know you just got here and you only saw the girls train a couple times, but what are you thinking? You're one of the chief commanders too now."

"They look better than I expected them to look, B." Faith answered honestly. She was quiet about it all though, which intrigued Kennedy to a certain extent. The girl had to admit to herself, the dark slayer was hot and Kennedy was definitely attracted to her. Not so much that she would ever…stray from Willow, but she was only human and Faith had this certain sexiness about her.

Willow was just so much different from Faith; at least she was when she wasn't evil. She was so quiet and shy and awkward about her sexuality, it drove Kennedy crazy sometimes trying to figure out what she was thinking. That's why she was with Willow after all, to get to know her better. Plus the fact that she was one of the sexiest women Kennedy knew.

"It's just," Faith started up again, a little uneasy about speaking up or possibly stepping on Buffy's toes. "All this seems great, but…from what I've seen, you guys don't know anything about The First. You just got girls that can hold their own now, Buff, and the strongest one is now in some kind of spell after getting scratched by one bringer."

"You know, Faith, Kennedy took out three of those bringers," Buffy defended her, before stopping, coming across new thoughts that began to enter her head. "I mean, sure she has this major attitude problem, and she can get sort of a big head when it comes to slaying, and she's so freakin stubborn…"

"Thanks for defending me…" Kennedy trailed off as she turned away from the slayer meeting, not able to take much more, she sarcastically used the phrase, praise. "On the plus side, I know what happened to me."

"OK, getting side tracked, but Kennedy's the most experienced and strongest," Buffy said quickly. "That's why it's really important that Willow finds what spell she did exactly and get her back."

"So she can lead the girls to punch something that isn't really there?" Faith asked back as she folded her arms over her chest. "Look, B, I don't mean to bring your whole thing down, you're doing the best you can, but this isn't enough. We gotta get some offensive going."

While Kennedy liked Faith's sort of timid take-charge attitude, she had this sudden feeling that all the work she had invested in training the other girls was for nothing. "We're doing the best we can here, Faith," Buffy shot back, but not in a mean way. It was like two generals discussing there best possible plan of attack. "The best idea we've had is to keep these girls alive. If we lose these girls, we lose this battle before it starts."

"Well, if Red doesn't work her mojo right in there looks like she'll have done The First's job for It." Faith commented grimly as she pushed past Buffy to show a couple of the new girls some proper ways to spar.

Faith's words hit Kennedy like a ton of bricks, however. She was frozen in place, unable to move due to the realization that whatever was happening to her could be serious. How could Willow have been so careless?

Kennedy shook her head immediately after the thought ran through her head. This wasn't Willow's fault…necessarily. The witch did cast the spell, but she didn't mean for this to happen. She couldn't think about things like this. It would lead to Kennedy freaking out and that wasn't good. In a situation like this, when weird and scary things happen, you just have to remain calm. The group knew that something was up and researching the best way they could, so Kennedy decided to shift her thought pattern.

Looking up from the ground she had stared at for a good three minutes, Kennedy watched as Buffy just looked on and Kennedy watched her. It was like she was seeing who Buffy really was for the first time. Even though Buffy just stood and watched, not really changing her body language or doing anything that told Kennedy what she knew, the potential just saw it in her.

The slayer had the weight of the world on her shoulders, and she swallowed it all down so that she could be the leader they needed, even though she was being an uberbitch while being that leader.

This was all getting a little too sappy and realistic for Kennedy, so she walked back to the house. When she reached the door, Kennedy reached for the knob, but when her hand went through it Kennedy remembered she could go through stuff and did so.

She decided to check on Willow since she, herself, was fresh out of ways to make herself corporeal again. Also, she started thinking that she could try her new non-corporealness and see if Willow voiced her thoughts about Kennedy. That could be fun, especially since Kennedy started to understand how frustrated The First must feel, not being able to touch anything and what not.

Kennedy didn't want to become corporeal again to, like kill people, so she couldn't relate to The First on that level, she just wanted to be back in her body again. When she entered the living room, Willow wasn't over at the table, but kneeling in front of the candles and Kennedy and looking down at the spell book.

The witch closed her eyes and, in a low tone, began to mutter some Latin. "Let's hope whatever you're planning works," Kennedy muttered as she lowered herself next to Willow, and then she paused and thought for a second. "Hey, if I can go through things how come I can sit? Weird…"

"Damn." Willow whispered next to her. Kennedy sopped her pondering and looked over at Willow. She reached down and slammed the book shut before burying her face in her hands. Willow adjusted herself so that she was now sitting cross-legged and letting her hands rest on her knees.

Instinctively, Kennedy reached her hand over to place it over Willow's, but then she went right through her girlfriend. "Not being corporeal is fun." Kennedy quipped quietly as she watched Willow.

She had reached up and taken Kennedy's limp hand in her own. Willow turned it over in her hand, examined it, before lacing their fingers together. "I'm sorry," she started quietly. "I dunno if you're just still unconscious or if I sent you somewhere, but if you hear me, just wanted to let you know that."

"Willow, you have nothing to be sorry for," Kennedy argued, even though she was very aware of the fact that Willow couldn't hear her. "You were just trying to help; and, hey, it sort of worked. I'm healed after all."

After a moment, Willow furrowed her brow and looked up at Kennedy. Not her body, but her. Was this happening? Could Willow se her or was her mind playing tricks on her. When Willow didn't look away for a few moments, the corners of Kennedy's mouth pulled themselves into a smile as, for a second, she believed that Willow had heard her; but then Willow pushed herself up and right though Kennedy.

This wasn't fair. Kennedy didn't ask for any of this. The whole thing just didn't make any sense. The anger and frustration that was building up inside of her was too much. Kennedy pushed herself up as well and watched as Willow looked through some of the books that were spread out on the dining room table.

She wanted to touch her so badly. To wake up and let Willow know that she was OK, but there was nothing she could do. She was just a potential, a fighter, Kennedy didn't have any patience for magic, or any knowledge of it for that matter.

It was just too much and Kennedy, in a moment of frustration, screamed. It echoed through the house, but no one was fazed. After she was finished, though, she felt better for a millisecond. She wasn't really sure what to do now.

Staying and watching Willow look right through her, apologize, and try a bunch of spells that weren't working was getting to be really depressing to Kennedy. Things around here were going to get boring for her fast if she couldn't do anything to get herself out of this…state, or whatever she was.

It figures that that was the moment that a bright light exploded in the middle of the living room and sent her non-corporeal self flying backwards. Kennedy flew right through the walls and landed painfully on her back outside. She winced as she propped herself up, supporting her body with her elbows.

"What the hell…?" She muttered as she pushed herself up. After getting over the pain that the blast had caused her, Kennedy realized that she was hurt. Something had hurt her. With a glimmer of hope inside of her, Kennedy ran up to the house and reached out for the door handle.

When she felt pain, Kennedy thought maybe Willow had found a spell, and that light was just a nasty side effect. Her hand going though the doorknob expelled that theory. With a heavy sigh, Kennedy walked through the door and stopped before going into the living room.

Something caused that light to go off and hurt her. She looked into the dining room and saw Willow still looking though some books. Whatever was happening was happening, it seemed Willow wasn't affected by any of it.

As she walked back into the living room, Kennedy wished that she had some sort of non-corporeal crossbow or something with her. Whatever happened to her had something powerful behind it, what else would cause her to be hurt in this state? Kennedy inched her way into the living room, prepared to pounce if she saw anything evil that caused her to fly out of the house.

What she saw, however, caused her to straighten up and relax. It was a girl, well a woman to be more precise. For a quick second, Kennedy just thought she was a potential, but the girl looked a little too old to be a slayer in training and Kennedy was fairly certain that she could recognize all the potentials that were housed in the Summers' home.

She was probably a little taller than Kennedy, with a slight shade of darker blonde that fell long on her shoulders. Whoever she was, she seemed almost heavenly to Kennedy. She wore a pure white peasant type top with a very light, long, khaki skirt. The glow around her, however, was blinding.

Kennedy was mesmerized as she watched the woman wonder around the living room and examine her surroundings. Kennedy went to say something, but then she remembered her current state and muttered to herself, "Why bother? Not like you'd hear me if I said anything anyway."

"Don't be too sure about that," she whispered as she looked up and met Kennedy's now wide and shocked eyes. "You'd be surprised."

"You c-can…" Kennedy stammered at first, but then she recomposed herself. "You're telling me that you can see me?"

"Of course I can see you," the woman replied with a soft laugh. "You're standing right there."

"How…wait, never mind how, this is great," Kennedy exclaimed as she reached out and grabbed the woman's hand. "Come on, you have to tell Willow that I'm here and OK-"

"I'm sorry, you're not understanding," she interrupted as she pulled Kennedy back yet kept a hold on Kennedy's hand. "I can see you, and you can see me, but no one can see us."

Great, Kennedy thought. She couldn't help the curse that slipped out from under her breath as she turned back and watched Willow rummage through the books. "I'm sorry if I was misleading," the woman told Kennedy, forcing her attention back to her. "And for the whole light thing. It's just an after effect of the spell."

"Spell?" Kennedy echoed as her heart received an ache from the thought of having magic used on her again. "This has something to do with Willow's spell."

"Little bit," the woman said as she got a sort of shy blush on her cheeks at the mention of Willow's name. Kennedy furrowed her brow at the reaction, her mind suddenly hit with something. This woman suddenly looked so familiar to her, and Kennedy racked her mind to try and figure out why she knew her.

"Oh," Kennedy choked out as she continued to think about how she knew this woman.

"I can't place you…" Kennedy trailed off as she continued to look the woman over.

She smiled back and released Kennedy's hand as she walked over to the nearby bookshelf. "The spell, it's a healing spell," she began to explain to Kennedy, not bothering to tell the potential who she was. "The one Willow chose, however, is meant to heal all wounds; physical and emotional. She inadvertently conjured a guide to help you deal with your past, the pains it's caused you."

"Great," Kennedy muttered as she followed the woman. "So I get to relive my past. That's always fun. So, you're my guide for every fucked up thing that's ever happened in my life. You should have brought some help-"

"I did," the woman told her gently. "You'll be visited by two other significant figures, Kennedy. All of them will try and help you through the significant moments in your past. Through this process, the spell will be completed and you'll be released from the state you're in now."

"And who are you?" Kennedy asked as she crossed her arms over her chest. "How are you significant to what I'm gonna see?"

It suddenly hit Kennedy like a ton of bricks. This woman…it was way too much for Kennedy to deal with when she realized who she was. Kennedy wasn't sure if she could breath, but her breath caught in her throat. "It can't be…" Kennedy mustered as she looked at Kennedy and her mouth remained open.

"T-Tara?" Kennedy stuttered as she tried to not be freaked out but failed miserably. "No, it can't be. I mean, no offense, but you're dead."

"Just noticed that, huh?" Tara responded, taking a little too much joy in watching Kennedy grasp what was going on.

It couldn't have been right. It was The First, playing a trick on her, using Willow's spell as some sort of cover. Kennedy backed away, her eyes wide with horror. She tried to grasp something that could help her stand, but she just went through everything and crumpled to the floor.

She grasped at the hard wood with her palms as she tried to push herself away from Tara. "You're The First," Kennedy managed. "This wasn't Willow's fault."

Tara just remained still and silent as she watched Kennedy's mind try to think of some kind of explanation. "I'm not The First," Tara told her gently. "I'm Tara, really. Not really a ghost, but her essence. I'm your first guide in all of this, Kennedy…but I'm not evil."

"You're just…dead?" Kennedy asked slowly, not really sure why she asked it, but there it was: her question, out there.

"Well, you've heard the stories I'm sure," Tara chuckled. "You tell me, am I just…dead?"

Kennedy arched her eyebrow as she pushed herself off the floor. "I, um, yeah…heard the stories," she told Tara quietly as she hugged herself tightly. "I, w-was by your, um, grave once too. I don't think anyone was really aware at the time."

"Bringers and vamps galore," Kennedy continued. "I was thrown down and…there you were. I'd seen your picture and stuff too, but that was…it was like a nice big dose of reality."

"Yeah, so was dying," Tara agreed as she nodded. "Ironic, what with the death…"

"So, we gonna get this show on the road?" Kennedy asked, deciding that she should just accept this whole spell thing because the sooner this whole thing was over with the sooner she could get back to Willow. "Sorry, it's just…I've heard nothing but nice things about you. Little too much, you know, a lot to live up to, but you're just freaking me out."

"You think you have to live up to me?" Tara echoed with raised eyebrows, making Kennedy shift uncomfortably.

Crap, she just kept digging herself into a nice hole. "No," Kennedy said immediately. "I mean…I know I could never replace you, it's just, there's a great big shadow. OK, and also, I should really stop talking about this."

"It's something you needed to deal with, though," Tara pressed on. "I mean, it's obviously been on your mind."

"Well, not really recently, what with being non-corporeal, but I've thought about it, I'm human," Kennedy admitted. "And, I can't really think about it now, so…can we do the whole 'This is your life' thing already?"

"Not so much," Kennedy answered. "It seems better than this really weird and completely awkward conversation with…you."

Kennedy could just imagine her deer in headlights look that she was no doubt sporting. She knew damn well that Tara was dead, but she felt bad about being with Willow in the woman's presence. "Can you blame me?" Kennedy shot back gently.

Tara walked over to Kennedy and peered into the dining room at Willow, who was still sifting through the books to try and find some way to get the potential out; but, she wasn't going to. Kennedy had to go through her life to get through this.

"No, I can't," Tara said as she looked at Willow the same way Kennedy was looking at her. Wanting to be corporeal again so they could touch the woman they loved. Wait, Kennedy thought suddenly. Did I just think that I love Willow?

"You're right," Tara said, snapping Kennedy out of her thoughts. "We do have some things we need to take care of, and I'm already a little behind schedule."

"Where do we start?" Kennedy asked, trying to ignore the whole loving Willow thought that tried to push itself forward so it could be processed.

Before Kennedy knew it, her and Tara weren't in the Summers' home anymore. Hell, they weren't even in California anymore, they were in Boston. More precisely, Kennedy's home. She imagined if this were TV, there'd be a little caption that read, "Boston, 1988."

They stood in Kennedy's lavish dining room that was decorated with furniture from the nineteenth century, paintings that belonged in museums, and nothing that a child of five could touch or breathe near. It was Kennedy's childhood, what could she say? That's why she wanted to get the hell out of that house as often as possible after…

"Thought we were gonna be seeing bad stuff," Kennedy responded. "Healing my emotional scars. Isn't that what this is supposed to be about?"

Something caught Kennedy's eye as she walked forward and into her old living room. The TV was on, credits to a movie were scrolling up the screen that was the only light in the room. "Then why are we here?" Kennedy asked as she walked around the sofa and stopped in her tracks. "Why are we seeing this?"

"Because this is the beginning of it all," Tara told her as she took a spot next to Kennedy. "Not to mention the only memory you have left of her."

It was true; Kennedy's mom would die nearly a month after this night. She was five, and her dad had been working late and her brother had just gone off to boarding school, so her mom decided to have a night just for the two of them.

Sadness crept up inside of her as she watched her younger self curled in her mother's lap, both asleep. "Right," Kennedy whispered as she swallowed down the pain that she was feeling. "She won't be around much in a month and a half. Like, never, actually."

"It's funny," Tara spoke up suddenly, not bothering to hide the fact that she noticed Kennedy's shift in emotions. "People lose theirs mothers everyday, but no one feels the same thing…not exactly."

"Did you…?" Kennedy began, knowing that Tara had been through what she had been through.

"When I was seventeen," Tara responded, not needing to hear the rest of the question. "It was…hard. I was mature enough to understand what was happening, and it still hurt everyday until the day I, well, you know."

"At least you had time to make memories with her," Kennedy scoffed and immediately regretted the tone she used. "Sorry…"

"No, it's true, and your mother's a sore subject for you," Tara interrupted. "I'm sorry."

"I know," Tara said, knowing that Kennedy had read her wrong. "I'm sorry for your last memory of her being the way it is; and ending the way it's going to."

As Kennedy raised her eyebrows, the front door opened and someone headed towards the living room. It was weird, Kennedy remembered everything about this night, but she never remembered her father coming home.

Her mother stirred on the sofa, being careful as she woke up not to stir Kennedy. "I'm in here," she replied softly. "Be quiet though, Quince, Kennedy's asleep. How was your night?"

Quince came into the living room, loosening his tie and untucking his shirt. "You don't wanna know, Millie," he responded as he placed a routine kiss on her mother's cheek. "Back to back meetings as usual. How's Kennedy doing? Still missing Carter?"

"They were best friends," Millie responded harshly while still trying to remain quiet because of Kennedy. "She looked up to him, loved him so much, and then you send him away from her. How do you think Kennedy feels?"

"I sent?" Quince echoed, raising his voice a little. "This wasn't just my decision."

"And what would I have done?" she shot back, not able to stop her rising tone. "Object to your decision. You know what happens when you make your mind up, Quince, it's like nothing else matters, no one else has an opinion."

Her father shook his head, "You don't know what you're talking about. I miss Carter just as much as the next, but he was a problem child. He was poisoning our family, breaking us apart."

"Carter isn't the one breaking us apart." Millie muttered with a sigh as Kennedy began to stir in her lap. Her mother gathered the girl up in her arms and left to bring Kennedy to her room.

This was all way too much. How could Kennedy not remember something like this? She remembered her parents fighting, having problems, but nothing like this. The tears were already welling up in her eyes as she watched the steps that her parents took to leave. "Don't do this." She said quietly to herself.

"You didn't know this was going to happen," Tara stated as she put her hand on Kennedy's shoulder. The potential sniffed back the unshed tears and turned to face Tara with raised eyebrows. "You repressed it."

"Looks like," Kennedy agreed. "Wouldn't you? I mean, I knew something was up, that he was cheating on her or something. And she…she would do anything for him. Nice repayment: wife stays at home and tends to the kids while daddy goes to work and screws the secretary till the wee hours of the morning."

"Well, I think this is very revealing," Tara shrugged. "We're finally getting somewhere."

"Glad that you're glad I'm opening up," Kennedy responded as she shoved her thumbs in her pant's pockets and looked down at the floor. "Can't believe I'm saying this stuff to a stranger. Well, an acquaintance. Not to mention the fact that you're dead and my girlfriends ex, and that Willow babble thing is really contagious."

"It's OK to get your foot caught in your mouth," Tara said soothingly. "This is about healing, not causing new wounds. Back to your father issues, what did you think? That he never loved your mother or that he never felt remorse for cheating?"

"Hmm, considering that he was remarried like, a month after my mom died," Kennedy quipped. "Not to mention, Chelsea was already on the way by then too, so…life just isn't fucking fair."

Even Kennedy felt the twinge of bitterness in Tara's voice when she said what she said. Tara lost Willow just as much as Willow lost Tara, and she imagined how hard it must be for the woman to have to see her girlfriend with someone new.

"Does it bother you?" Kennedy ventured. "I mean, you see me and Willow, doesn't it drive you crazy?"

"I imagined it would, when I'd see her move on with her life," Tara answered honestly. "But it wasn't like that. Willow did a lot of bad things, made stupid choices after I was taken from her. When Buffy, Xander, Anya, Dawn, and Giles reached her, I just wanted Willow to be happy again."

"So it is true, the deceased really would want us to move on," Kennedy joked uncomfortably. "Be happy."

"Yeah," Tara laughed. "And you do that, you know? Make her happy, which is why I wanted to help you."

It was nice, sort of, having Tara's blessing for her relationship with Willow. Kennedy was about to respond, offer some sort of appreciation for her words, but then her father and mother burst into the living room again and began arguing. Kennedy's younger self was now in her room, to her parents she was asleep. To Kennedy, the one watching this happen all over again with Tara, the girl was awake, listening.

It was all coming back to Kennedy, and she wished like hell she was awake and with Willow.

"Did you think I was stupid, Quince?" her mother shouted as she grabbed the blanket off the couch and began to fold it as her father switched the light on and reached for the remote. "That I was going to play the dumb house wife and deal with our children? That I would believe you'd have meetings nearly every night?"

"I don't know what your talking about, Millie. I love you," he replied, doing a bad job with lying about his affair with Kennedy's soon to be stepmother. "I've always loved you, baby, can't you see this?"

Her mother sighed when he clicked off the TV before tossing the remote on the couch. Millie had finished folding the blanket and set it down on the sofa as Quince closed the distance between them and grabbed her hands in his own. "There's no doubt in my mind that you love me, Quince, I know you do," she admitted before her eyes glazed over with tears and she choked out. "But apparently it's not enough to keep you here. You have to look outside of our marriage to satisfy your needs-"

"God dammit!" Quince shouted as he roughly pushed her hands away and stormed a few steps away from her. "Will it make you feel better, Millie, to hear me say it? I was trying to protect your feelings!"

"By sleeping with another woman?" Millie shouted back, forcing Quince to round on her, connecting the back of his hand with her cheek. Kennedy launched forward, pulling her fist back and punching her father on his head.

It went right through, though. Kennedy's father just stared down at Millie, who was now grasping her cheek while pulling her legs underneath her on the couch. Kennedy looked at her father with a new disgust that she had repressed due to what was coming next. Her father would soon be all she had left, and that chilled Kennedy to the bone. "Damn." Was all she could get out after her attempt to help her mother had failed.

"You can't help some things, Millie," he told her softly. "I couldn't help falling in love with you…but it wasn't true love. I'm in love with her, I just love you. I'm sorry, but you wanted to hear it."

"It would have been nice to hear it before we brought two children into this world, Quince," she shot back bitterly. "You never loved me, how could you have if you claim to be in love with her?"

"I don't want to have this conversation," she interrupted. "OK, not with Kennedy upstairs and Carter a few hundred miles away, alright? Just…I'll stay in a guest room tonight, every night until we talk this over with our lawyers. I'm done with this sham, Quince…I'm tired of pretending."

"If that's the way you want it," Quince responded through gritted teeth as his jaw clenched with anger. "We'll have nothing to do with each other, Millie. You're dead to me now."

No sooner had the words left his mouth that the room around them changed slightly. Her mother and father disappeared, and the room was set up to accommodate a bunch of people…people there for her mother's wake.

Guests appeared, all wearing black and passing by a table while glancing sadly at the framed portrait of her mother that was on the table. None of them really cared though. Kennedy watched as they all glanced at her younger self, who was clinging to a back wall, trying desperately not to be seen.

"I hated the eyes they would use to look at me," Kennedy told Tara, knowing that the woman was thinking the question that Kennedy answered. "You must know what that's like, you've been through this."

"It's never easy," Tara sympathized. "None of them could possibly understand what you're feeling. Especially with that."

Tara was, of course, motioning to her father who was shaking hands with people offering their condolences. Next to him was Jillian, his secretary, the woman he'd been having an affair with, and her soon to be stepmother. "Yeah, that bitch just had to be here." Kennedy remarked as she watched her father glance side ways at her younger self before returning to whatever conversation he was in.

"He did his best, but it wasn't enough," Kennedy said as she crossed her arms and watched her father. "God…remembering this, I can't look at him the same."

"I don't imagine anyone could," Tara agreed. "He betrayed you and he was the only family you had left."

"I never cried," Kennedy blurted out. "Not once, not in front of him, of anybody. I wouldn't let them see me that way."

"Well, now we know where you get that from," Tara shrugged. "But you know, there's always a silver lining…" Tara trailed off as she stared off to the entrance to the living room. Seeing this, Kennedy followed the woman's gaze and let her mouth hang open a bit as she saw what Tara was looking at.

A man had entered the crowded room. His light brown hair was slicked back, making it look a couple shades darker than it actually was. After closing the umbrella and dropping it down near the doorway, he removed his long, black trench coat and hung it over his arm before straightening his deep blue tie. He removed his glasses, looking at them as he held them out at a distance before folding them up and tucking them into the breast pocket of his black suit.

His piercing, sky blue eyes scanned the crowd before falling upon Kennedy's younger self. He strode through the crowd, crossing the room, before coming to a stop in front of Kennedy. The man towered over her, his shadow easily covering little Kennedy before smiling softly and crouching down in front of her.

"Hello, Kennedy, is it?" he greeted in a thick, British accent as he held out his hand for her. With a shy nod, Kennedy watched as her younger self slipped her smaller hand into his much larger one and smiled slightly as he overly shook her hand, lightening the mood between them and to show her that he was friendly. "It's very nice to meet you, my name is Cedric, and I've been waiting a long time for you."

"Silver lining, huh?" Kennedy laughed as everything around her and Tara shifted again. "Some silver lining. My mom just dies, I'm left with my asshole father and the bitch that broke up my parents right before my mom died and then I find out who I might be some day and what exactly that means, short term life wise. Yeah, that made everything better."

They remained in Kennedy's living room, but all the people disappeared and Quince and Cedric remained. Kennedy looked over to the entrance to the room, remembering this moment and how she watched her father and her watcher from afar. "Didn't it though?" Tara responded. "You loved Cedric, maybe even more than you loved your father."

"Sure, I loved him," Kennedy agreed before bitterly adding. "But I hate what he brought with him: my birthright, my destiny. I wasn't even six years old and already I knew that my life was going to be a short one."

"I'm not quite sure I understand what you're saying, Mr…?" Kennedy's father said as he dug his hands in his pockets and eyed her watcher suspiciously.

"Cedric is fine," her watcher answered. "And I'm just saying that Kennedy…well, she has a destiny, and I'm here to make sure that she's ready when she's called."

"That's the part that's fuzzy to me, sir," Quince responded as politely as he could in a situation like this. "All this talk about destiny, she's still a child and called? Called for what?"

"I'm not really sure how to explain this without sounding like a complete lunatic," Cedric began as he paced a little in front of Kennedy's father. "You see, Quince, Kennedy…let me just start by saying…oh, bloody hell."

"If it helps, I already think you're a lunatic," Quince offered, a little curious to hear what Cedric had to say. "Nothing you can really say will make me think otherwise."

"Vampires and demons are real," Cedric blurted out, then stiffened and looked into the dining room where Kennedy was hiding, watching them. "And, Kennedy is in line to be the one girl in all the world to fight them. She is a potential slayer."

Kennedy smiled at her watcher. She didn't remember until just now how much she missed him. Obviously sensing this, Tara was at her side, again, grabbing Kennedy's hand, trying to offer some kind of comfort. "And you're here because…?" Quince asked slowly, urging Cedric to answer by gesturing with his hands.

"I'm her watcher," Cedric answered proudly. "I will be training her for combat and sharpening her research skills."

Quince nodded along before running a hand through his blond, mussed hair. "Is this going to cost me anything?"

Willow had analyzed the spell more times than she could count and she still hadn't figured out what went wrong. "Heal this girl's wounds, bring her new life…" Willow repeated to herself before sighing in frustration and slamming the book shut. "It healed her wounds, why doesn't it make any sense…"

"Whoa, OK, I felt that even from outside. That book slamming was like a 3.5," Xander announced after walking into the house and coming into the dining room where Willow sat with a bunch of books open on the table. "What with the book-a-palooza? Did we find some new information on The First?"

Willow gestured sadly to the living room where Kennedy lied. Xander was silent as he crossed into the other room and crouched down near the couch, examining the girl for himself. "What's the matter with her? She looks fine."

"Technically she is," Willow explained. "We went to go retrieve some of the books that Wesley said might help over in the next county. When we got there, three bringers attacked us. Kennedy got them, but one of them got her too."

"Yeah, but Wil, she doesn't have a scratch on her." Xander told her as he rose, looked over Kennedy once more, then came back into the dining room and leaned against one of the chairs.

"She did, Xander, and…" Willow stopped, not being able to continue until she swallowed down the lump of guilt that had now formed in her throat. "I, um, sort of did a spell. Something went wonky though and now she won't wake up."

"OK, I'm gonna pause us because don't really wanna see you go off with the water works or anything," Xander said as he came around the table and hugged Willow from behind. She clung to his arm that was snug around her shoulders as she looked up at Kennedy. "It'll be OK. She's fine, and you'll get her out of this."

"I know she's OK, Xand, it's just…" Willow started, but sighed, not really sure how to convey to Xander what she was feeling. "I'm so afraid of how she's gonna look at me if-when she wakes up. I've hurt her so much with magic, and I know how she feels about it-"

"Yeah, well," Xander interrupted as he released Willow and sat in the chair to the right of her. "I know how Kennedy feels about you. She's got it bad, Wil, and I think she'll find a way to forgive you when you get her out of this. You're not that easy a girl to get over, you know?"

As a smile flicked on to Willow's face, she again had to wonder why Xander hadn't figured this stuff out in high school. He always knew what to say to make her feel better, and she was so thankful that he was in her life. "Thanks," she told him honestly, sincerely. "I just need to figure out what I did to her, try and undo it."

"And you will, like you always do," Xander assured her. "Now, you want me to help? Buffy said she needed to see me about something…"

"No, go talk to her, she's out back," Willow said with a shake of her head. "Fair warning: the house is very crowded and I think Buffy's gonna ask if you can store some of the potentials at your place."

"Peachy." Xander quipped. He gave Willow's hand one last squeeze before pushing away from the table and heading out back. Willow watched him go before the last of the light that was streaming into the window disappeared.

Sunset, Willow thought absently before her mind tugged her focus back to where it's been all day. Willow couldn't possibly look through another book, however. Her mind was tired and the words would get fuzzy as she read them over and over again.

Instead, she let herself walk into the living room and sit down on the sofa next to Kennedy. Even though Xander had helped ease the fear she was feeling, something inside of her told her that this would definitely change her relationship with the potential. Things just can't be the same after you use magic on someone, and Willow knew that from first hand experience.

If things weren't worse already, Willow's mind began to turn it's focus to thoughts of Tara. Willow remembered all the time they lost because she did a spell on her, and how much she regretted it after Warren took Tara away. That was one of the hardest parts of her recovery, thinking about the time they could have spent together if it hadn't been for the magic.

It had taken a lot of time and effort, but Willow had realized that she couldn't spend her life thinking about the time she lost with Tara and dwelling on her death. It was no way to live, and it wasn't the kind of life she wanted for herself. Willow just wanted to feel happy again, alive, and she had been feeling that way with Kennedy.

The potential worshiped her, and Willow still couldn't fully see why. She never thought of herself as anything special, except when she was with Tara, but even then she still never would have listed sexy as one of the words she'd use to describe herself. Kennedy made her feel that way though.

The girl's confidence was intoxicating and it's what initially attracted Willow to her in the first place. Willow was just beginning to get to know more about Kennedy, their relationship was progressing, and she didn't want to drive her away with magic too. Even though she wasn't in love with Kennedy, there were feelings there and Willow knew she would be devastated if she lost another girlfriend to magic.

"I'll get you back," Willow told her quietly, trying to assure herself just as much as she was trying to assure Kennedy as she grabbed the potential's hand. "I don't know how, exactly, or what will happen to us after I do…but I will."

Night had completely swallowed day by now, and Willow wondered just how much time she had spent getting lost in thought. She gave herself a slight mental slap for letting this spell affect Kennedy for a good part of the day. There wasn't much to do. Willow couldn't understand why Kennedy was still unconscious when the spell she performed fulfilled it's purpose: healing Kennedy's wounds.

Willow jolted in her seat when she heard the back door open and waves of slayers in training flooded into the house. She quickly rose to her feet and stiffened uncomfortably, looking down briefly to watch Kennedy's hand fall limp on to the couch beside her. She repositioned herself so that her body was shielding Kennedy from the eyes of the potentials that were heading upstairs.

Not that it mattered; the girls averted their eyes anyway. Buffy, Xander, Faith, and Dawn brought up the rear, that's when Willow relaxed and sat back down on the couch. "Any change?" Buffy asked with hopeful eyes, even though her tone was pretty bland and suggested she was tired due to all the training she was doing.

"Nothing, I've crossed referenced and re-read everything twice," Willow responded with a twinge of sadness in her voice. "I don't know what else I can do…she's healed, the spell should be completed."

"You'll figure it out, Red. Hey, why don't we blow out these candles or something? Could that work?" Faith asked as she crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against the doorframe. "I mean, not only is it a fire hazard, but completely unnecessary."

"No, I don't wanna do something that might not hurt her," Willow told Faith. "Even though I don't know much about the spell, I know the candles are important. The flames represent Kennedy's essence…if we blow them out…"

"It's OK, Wil, just hang tight," Buffy assured her. "Look, Faith and Spike are gonna patrol with me and Xander's taking some of the girls back to his place. If you need help, ask Dawn, Andrew, or Anya. When we get back we'll help."

"There's not much anyone can do." Willow said before pushing herself off the couch, away from Kennedy and into the dining room. She felt bad a little, Willow knew everyone wanted to help, but truthfully there was nothing anyone could do. Buffy didn't push, and she didn't let Faith or Xander push either.

Instead, she nodded towards the back door, letting Faith know they should go. The dark slayer got the hint and headed towards the kitchen with a shrug. Buffy followed, but not before offering Willow goodbye and good luck. "Will…?" Xander began after a few potentials came down the stairs with some backpacks slung over their shoulders.

She didn't give him a chance to continue, knowing what he was going to say to her. "I'll be fine, Xander," she said forcefully. "Besides, I think you're the one that's gonna need help with all those potentials you're taking to your place."

"This is true." He grumbled before offering his goodbye and trudging out the door with at least ten potentials in tow. A few of them, the ones that had been there the longest and that knew Kennedy better, looked back at Kennedy before leaving the house.

With a heavy sigh, Willow grabbed a book and opened it up. She propped her head on her hand as she tried to read the book, for the fiftieth time. Just before she was about to get into the book and try to block everything else out, Dawn plopped down next to her and grabbed a nearby book.

"So…what spells have you been looking at?" Dawn asked as she flipped quickly through the pages of the book she held. "I mean…if you don't know what did this to Kennedy, maybe you should try using a spell that tells you what kind of spell someone's under."

"I thought about that, but the book I used is impervious to those kinds of spells," Willow replied heavily. "Which is why you don't really have to help, the answers in this book, I just have to find it."

"I don't," Willow snapped. "I told Buffy, Xander, Faith, and you that if I needed help I'd ask."

"You know, you're getting really worked up over someone you've only known for a little while," Dawn shot back as she pushed herself away from the table. "You don't even know everything about her and you can't do everything by yourself, Willow."

"I know, Dawnie, I do…I'm sorry," Willow said quickly, instantly feeling bad for how she was acting due to the frustration of not being able to help Kennedy. "What happened to her is my fault, and I guess I feel responsible. I feel like I have to find out how to help her."

Dawn still looked hurt, but she sat back down in the chair and grabbed her book back. "You like her a lot, don't you?" Dawn asked slowly. "I mean…for just meeting her and not really knowing that much about her."

"A little bit," Willow blushed before stopping and looking at Dawn with raised eyebrows. "I mean, she's nice and she's…wait, why are you asking this?"

"No reason," Dawn replied quickly as she buried herself in the book and averted Willow's eyes. "So…looks like the house is gonna be empty for a while now that Xander's taking some potentials, fun, huh?"

"Dawnie…is there something you wanna talk about?" Willow ventured, pulling the book away from Dawn and waiting for some kind of reply.

"You seem happy…with Kennedy, I mean," Dawn started off quietly. "Things have been going well for you two?"

Willow shrugged, "I guess. I mean, it's nothing like an Apocalypse to bring two people together."

"OK, you've obviously got something on your mind," Willow said knowingly. "And I have to find a way to help my girlfriend, so-"

"Girlfriend?" Dawn echoed before looking between Kennedy and Willow. "So…she's your girlfriend now?"

Willow furrowed her brow. "Well, traditionally when two people date, they eventually get…" Willow trailed off before realizing what was up with Dawn. "Do you have a problem with Kennedy? I mean, I know she doesn't let you train with the other potentials, but-"

"No, it's not that," Dawn corrected. "I mean…Kennedy's not my favorite person, but I don't dislike her…per se. It's weird though. Seeing you with someone else that isn't…"

"Tara," Willow finished quietly as she looked away from Dawn. "Seeing me with someone who isn't Tara."

"I know it's been a while since…and that you can't just never be with anyone ever again," Dawn told her. "Seeing you with her just makes it more real. Makes Tara really dead. Not to mention the fact that I don't really think she's good enough for you."

"Dawn…" Willow warned. She understood where the girl was coming from. If there were a fan club for her and Tara, Dawn would have been the President and most likely the treasurer. It didn't give her the right to bring Kennedy down though. "You don't even know Kennedy."

"And you do?" she shot back. "Willow…how much do you know about her? Where's she from? What kind of family did she have? How much slayer training has she gone through? What's her last name?"

"Boston, rich family, met her watcher when she was five, and…" Willow answered before pausing at the last question. "Well, three out of four sounds pretty damn good to me. Besides, we're just starting our relationship, we still have to learn about each other."

Dawn went to respond, but she closed her mouth and looked away. Willow stopped herself from continuing. She had no right to fight with Dawn just now; and some of the things she said, while she meant them, weren't appropriate and were said out of anger. Dawn's eyes were a little glossy now and Willow grabbed her hand. "Dawnie, I'm sorry," Willow whispered. "I'm upset about Kennedy and that I can't figure this spell out. I miss Tara too, OK? There isn't a day that goes by when I don't think about her, but I had to move on."

"I know…I just never thought it'd be this soon and with," Dawn paused and looked back at Kennedy before returning to Willow. "Captain Blood."

"Hey, she's just," Willow started off, trying to find the right words to defend Kennedy, but failing. "She enjoys her job very much."

"I still say we don't know that much about her," Dawn shot back in a lighter tone as she grabbed her book back. "I mean, she could have this crazy past where she's all messed up with emotional scars and stuff. She could be like...this escaped mental patient that talks about, like, monkeys and stuff."

"Dawn, Kennedy is not a…" Willow began, but then stopped short, her eyes growing wide with thought. "What did you say before the mental patient part?"

"No," she said to Dawn. "The part about emotional scars. Dawn, that's why she's not awake. The spell didn't specify to heal just physical wounds, it's probably healing all of her emotional wounds as well."

A sharp, forceful knock at the door brought Willow out of her thoughts and snapped both Dawn and Willow's heads to that direction. "Who could that be?" Dawn asked. Willow shrugged as she got up and walked over to the door.

The person at the door wasn't facing Willow at first, but then he turned around and smiled at Willow. His dark, brown hair was spiked and looked wet with gel. His deep, brown eyes smiled when he saw Willow and he stuffed his hands in his jacket pocket. "Hey, I sure hope you can help me," the man replied. "I'm looking for Kennedy. The last I heard about her, she was on her way to Sunnydale, California."

"And you knocked here because…?" Willow asked him, not sure if she should reveal just yet that Kennedy was, in fact, here in the house.

"Well, this is the slayer's home," the man replied in a normal tone. "I mean, if Kennedy were coming to Sunnydale, the city where the slayer lives, I figure she'd be stayin here."

"You know about slayers?" Willow asked him, still very unsure about who this guy was.

"Well yeah, I mean," he replied before stopping himself and smiling. "Goodness, I'm so sorry. You must think something of me: showing up here, asking for Kennedy, knowing about slayers. I must be very suspicious to you."

"Now that you mention it…" Willow agreed as Dawn appeared behind her and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Just about getting to that, now that I've remembered that I do have manners," the man told them as he extended his hand. "My name's Carter…I'm Kennedy's big brother."

"I just don't understand who this guy is, Quince, and I don't like that you won't tell me anything," Jillian shouted as Cedric shifted uncomfortably while keeping a comforting hand on Kennedy's shoulder. "What is he? Kennedy's nanny or something? You know, the other day he was giving her a cross, Quince. He's trying to convert her, to make her a Catholic."

"Oh, she's a riot," Tara quipped as her and Kennedy watched the scene from a corner where they could see everything. Kennedy's father and stepmother were arguing about her training with Cedric. For obvious reasons, her dad kept her identity a secret from Jillian. There was no way she would have been able to understand something like slayers and vampires. "Why didn't you like her again?"

Kennedy threw a look to Tara before turning back and watching her younger, now seven year old self roll her eyes at Jillian. "Honey, I told you, he's her…instructor," Quince told his wife. "You've always said you wanted Kennedy to have a hobby."

"No, you may not," Jillian told him. "I don't know who the hell you are, but I know that I don't like you and I don't want you near my family."

"This isn't your family," the younger Kennedy shouted back at her stepmother. "You're the one who doesn't belong here!"

Cedric stepped forward and gently grabbed Kennedy's arm as Quince stepped in between his daughter and his wife who was wearing a horrified expression. "Are you going to let her talk to me like that, Quince?" Jillian asked as her hands rested on her hips.

With a heavy sigh, Quince looked from Jillian and down at Kennedy. He crouched down in front of her. "Kennedy, that is no way to talk to Jillian," Quince scolded softly, not raising his voice but getting the point across that he wasn't being nice right now. "Your mother and I taught you better than that."

"Yeah…well, mom's dead." Kennedy blurted out. Her younger self didn't even realize what she has said until it was too late. She covered her mouth and ran out of the living room.

After a quick glance towards Quince, Cedric ran after her. Kennedy looked to Tara and they both followed. "I see how you got so good at the whole 'I don't take crap from anyone' thing." Tara commented before they came to a stop at the entrance of the house where Cedric had caught up with Kennedy. She had began to run up the stairs when he caught her and they were now sitting, talking like equals despite the age difference.

"He never treated me like a kid," Kennedy told Tara as her eyes remained fixed on the memory. "He never cut me down, never once let me believe that he didn't love me. Cedric made sure I knew it."

"You miss him," Tara stated knowingly as Kennedy felt the tears sting her eyes, but they wouldn't come out. After all the things she's been through, she's gotten so good at not crying that Kennedy didn't know if she could ever start again. "You think it's your fault…"

Kennedy shot Tara a questioning look at the last statement, and she responded, "How he died. You think it's your fault."

A heavy sigh escaped her lips as she turned away from Tara and watched herself with her watcher. "It is my fault." Kennedy said sadly as her eyes remained focused on the scene before her.

"I know, I hate it here for you too," the watcher sympathized. "But, you have to hold on a little longer."

Cedric raised his eyebrows and his glasses slid down his nose slightly. "Well…sometimes we have to do things that we don't want to do, Kennedy," he lectured, but in a light tone. "Look, I'm just going to London for a few months. I'll be back before you knew I was gone. Hopefully, I can get some news-"

"Sweetheart, I'm not leaving you, not at all," Cedric told her, stressing every word so that she understood he would never leave her. "I'm not leaving forever. I can't, I have to train you after all. Remember, you have a special life ahead of you."

The young girl hung her head low and avoided her watcher's eyes. Kennedy watched, remembering exactly how she was feeling when she thought about Cedric not being around. He had become more of a father to her than her actual dad in just the year she knew him, and thinking about him not being there hurt.

"What?" was Cedric's first reaction but then. "No, Kennedy…you can't come with me."

"But I hate it here," she protested, but Cedric held up his hand. He was going to hear none of this.

"Jillian is mean, Cedric," Kennedy pressed on anyway. "I heard her talking to someone on the phone…about a boarding school."

Cedric stopped and looked at her with worry etched in his face. Kennedy had his full attention the moment she said she might be sent away. "She's gonna send me away…like Carter, and then she won't tell you where I'm at."

"No, sweetheart, I've talked to your father," Cedric told her, trying to convince himself that it wasn't true just as mush as he was trying to convince her. "You're staying right here I promise."

In one fluid motion, Kennedy pushed herself off the stairs, away from Cedric, and headed into the kitchen. Kennedy and Tara were instantly transported as well, watching the younger Kennedy dig through a few drawers before finding a note pad. Cedric entered a second later, and she handed him the note.

"Maine…boarding school…fall admissions," he read to himself before looking down at her grimly. "Your stepmother has been planning this?"

Kennedy nodded, but she took the pad back and studied the words. "She wants to send me to school up there," she told him sadly. "Away from you and everything here."

"This is his writing, Cedric," Kennedy interrupted. "He's already given in. She must have threatened to leave…he sent Carter away and he'll do the same for me. Can't I just live with you? I'll train really really hard so that I'll become the best slayer ever.

"What are you thinking about?" Tara asked Kennedy, jolting her away from the scene and her thoughts. Kennedy moved her glance between Cedric's thought filled face and Tara.

"This whole thing," she answered honestly. "Seeing him again…it just makes it all more real that he's dead. I just…I wish he was here, helping me deal with the fact that an Apocalypse is coming and it could be the end of the world."

Tara just listened, nodded every now and again. Her features were soft and comforting, and Kennedy really started thinking about how she could see why Willow fell in love with this woman. On that note, her mind began to wander further and wonder if Willow could ever fall in love with her after losing her soul mate.

"I thought the point of this trip was to put my mind, my memories, at ease," Kennedy voiced her thoughts to Tara. "Thinking about Cedric makes me think about other things, then I think about more things and my head is just feeling so jumbled right now."

"Dealing with your memories, facing them, is a way towards closure," Tara said wisely. "And I know your head is jumbled."

Kennedy took a second to mentally freak out at the fact that she was thinking all those Willow thoughts when Tara could read what she was thinking and feeling. Then she stopped freaking out because, again, she realized that Tara could read her freaking out. "Right," Kennedy snorted uncomfortably. "You can read me…forgot all about that."

"I know you did," Tara replied as she turned her attention back to Cedric and the younger Kennedy. "Maybe we should fast forward a bit. My time here is limited and we have to keep moving."

The potential's eyes remained on Tara the whole time she spoke. When she looked away, however, they were not in Boston anymore. Kennedy recognized the surroundings as Cedric's apartment in London.

Almost a year after the memory Kennedy and Tara watched, Cedric came and left with Kennedy. Kennedy was never sure if her father knew, or if Cedric talked to him, but she suspected by the strange way no one ever looked for her that Cedric must have said something to her dad.

"Now we're getting to the good stuff," Kennedy said as she walked around the room, memories of this apartment flooding back to her. "Man, my times in London make Boston look like cake."

Kennedy furrowed her brow. A few years had gone by in their memory trip, because the place looked well lived in and was littered with weapons, books, and other slayer stuff. That's when Cedric opened the front door and came in with an urgent look on his face.

A smile played on Kennedy's lips as she remembered what was about to happen. "Oh…I know what time it is," Kennedy replied to Tara as Cedric disappeared into a hallway, looking through the bedrooms. "It's time for Cedric to get a big dose of reality."

Tara raised an eyebrow at the potential before Cedric came running back into the living room. "Bloody hell, Kennedy!" he shouted as he removed his glasses and grabbed his temple. Kennedy chuckled a bit as she watched her fourteen-year-old self enter the living room and point a girl who was also about the same age to the door.

The girl left, smiling shyly back at Kennedy before closing the door behind her. Kennedy smiled as well, but it soon slipped off her face when she realized that Cedric wasn't the least bit amused. He pointed to a nearby chair and Kennedy sat instantly, without question. "I'm in big trouble, huh?" she asked Cedric.

The watcher folded his arms over his chest and stared down at the potential. "I don't know what you're in, Kennedy," he answered honestly in a calm tone. "I mean…I'm just shocked is all. Not to mention the fact that Vladimir is wreaking havoc in the local park-"

"Vladimir is not my problem, Cedric," Kennedy shouted back as she rose to her feet and faced off with her watcher. However, the potential barely cleared his shoulders so she sat back down before continuing, "You know what he did to me last time, OK? I don't really feel like have any more broken ribs."

"Yes, well, you're the only one who's remotely trained to deal with a vampire of this caliber," Cedric told her. "I just don't think you should be diddling around with…"

Kennedy raised her eyebrow, waiting for Cedric to stop being British and finding the right word. "Your…friends." He finished as he looked away from her.

"Friend?" Kennedy echoed, which was then followed by a heavy sigh. "God, Cedric we've been through this: I'm gay. OK? God, you can't even say it."

"Kennedy, this isn't about…orientation," he told her as he turned to face her again. "It's about you holding up your part of the fight. You were-"

"Chosen," Kennedy said at the same time as Cedric. "Yeah, you've fed me the speech, we've done the slayer retreats and the slayer book learnin, Cedric, I know who I am. I know what I'm not, though, too. I'm not a slayer and that vampire has it out for me."

The watcher was about to fire back, but he paused and looked down at her. Kennedy was nervous, scared even, and Cedric knew she was trying her best to hide it. She was twirling her thumbs in her lap as she gently chewed on her lower lip. After lowering himself down to the arm of the chair, he placed his hand on her shoulder and pulled Kennedy closer to him.

"You are a slayer," he told her firmly. "I see it in you. I haven't had a girl with as much potential as you, Kennedy. I know I've fed you speeches and I scold you to no end, but I do it because I love you, no matter who you are or what you're orientation is, and I know that you can defeat Vladimir. I have the utmost faith in you, understand?"

Tara smiled at the moment before looking back at Kennedy. Her hand was covering her mouth and she was desperately trying not to cry. "Kennedy…" Tara began, but let her voice fall short. Nothing she could say would comfort her right now.

"God, as soon as I become corporeal again, I am gonna hit something so hard," she told Tara through gritted teeth. "How the hell is making me feel this horrible supposed to help me?"

Tara moved to respond, but Kennedy didn't give her the chance to. "No, don't tell me, 'through pain comes acceptance' or some shit like that," Kennedy continued. "It's not fair, OK? I didn't ask for- Oh, God, Willow."

"She did this to me," Kennedy said, getting angrier by the second. "She…deep breathes, Kennedy, deep breathes."

"I'm sorry this is so hard for you," Tara told her. "Seeing your past, facing it, as if it were a fear, is a long, hard, and painful way to get over it. It's too hard, that's why we're here. To help you."

Kennedy's hand was suddenly grasped by Tara's, and she took a moment to revel in the feel of someone's touch. "To provide comfort." Tara finished.

"I don't wanna see any more of Cedric." Kennedy pleaded, sounding like a scared, little child. Tara nodded; she was more than willing to give Kennedy what she wanted for comfort.

However, she felt horrible at what the next memory her and Kennedy would experience was going to be. "You don't have to, Kennedy," Tara told her with a twinge of sadness in her tone. "My time's almost done…but just be careful what you wish for."

The room changed, Kennedy and Cedric disappeared and the apartment was relatively the same…save for one detail.

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