A Fluke Between Two Wiccans

By SpikeMe4Now4200

Copyright © 2003

Spikeme4now4200@yahoo.com.au

Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: This Story is mine. However, I don't own the Buffyverse or any of the characters created by Joss Whedon et al; you all know who they are. I don't wish to harm them; I simply want to play with them a little :-)
Distribution: http://au.geocities.com/spikeme4now4200/index.html    http://mysticmuse.net
Everywhere and anywhere, just let me know where.
Feedback: Yes Please!!!! I would really appreciate feedback on this story; I'll reply to anyone who emails me. Constructive criticisms are very welcomed; outright flames will be ignored.
Spoilers: It would help if you've seen season 3.
Author's Notes: We know Tara was born in 1980; and since Willow graduated in the class of '99; that would mean our blonde Wiccan was 18 going on 19 during that year. Theoretically that would make her old enough to be at college. Furthermore, since it was never established exactly when Tara started college, my storyline could technically have taken place... in my own mind anyway... <lol>
Special thanks goes to Chris Cook of Through the Looking Glass and Artemis for creating the title graphic at the top of the page. Thanks, Chris!
Pairing: Willow/Tara

Summary: What would have happened if Willow and Tara had met at the start of Tara's freshman year at UCSD?

CHAPTER 5

"So Blondie,” Faith greeted Tara as she took a seat on the grass next to the young witch, "you waiting for Red?”

"Hi Faith,” Tara smiled at the Slayer. "Yeah, I…I'm waiting for the gang so we can head over to the Espresso Pump.”

"Why don't you just meet 'em there?”

"Willow said it would be more fun if we could all walk there together…”

"Of course,” Faith grinned slyly, "and you'd do anything Red asked you to…right?”

Tara looked up at the dark-haired Slayer in confusion. "W-what do you m-m-mean by that? W-w-why wouldn't I do s-s-something for W-W-W-Willow?”

Faith chuckled at Tara's sudden nervousness, she couldn't help liking the blonde witch. There was just something so innately honest about her, that Faith felt closer to her than any of the other Scoobies—except for maybe Buffy. She didn't know why, but a part of her felt kind of protective towards the young witch, maybe it was a Slayer thing.

It might have something to do with how Tara reacted to her, as if she didn't judge her. Faith wasn't blind, she knew what the rest of the Scoobies thought of her, knew they looked down on her because of her past, thought she was white trash, as if she wasn't good enough for them, and if she hadn't been the Slayer, they probably never would've even given her the time of day. Okay, well, maybe Xander would have, but he was a guy, and guys always gave her the time of day…and they gave her exactly what she needed…

Back to Blondie though, Blondie seemed to almost understand where she came from, and she didn't judge her. It was like who she was in the past, where she came from, didn't matter. Your past was your past, and all that mattered was the here and now…and for some reason she just knew that Blondie would always tell her where she stood with her. Blondie would never make a play of liking her just to be polite—she hated that. She hated the way the Scoobies all played nice around her because it was 'the right thing to do.'

Her affection for Blondie didn't stop Faith from giving her a hard time though. Teasing was good…it was fun, and she loved getting a reaction out of her, loved seeing how much she could push her. Besides, the girl always took her teasing with good humor—even if she did turn beet red at some of the things she said…but Blondie knew she was teasing, knew it was just her way. Tara would have to be the most understanding person she'd ever met, and for someone who made it her job not to trust anyone, Faith couldn't help feeling as if she could trust Tara.

Yeah, there was definitely something special about Blondie and Faith knew she would do everything she could to make sure no one hurt her, especially Red. Why couldn't the girl see how crazy Blondie was for her? Red was blind and stupid not to notice the way Blondie looked at her…no one had ever looked at her that way. No, wait, Red wasn't blind or stupid, she was a goddamned sheep. Red would never acknowledge the notion she could be interested in girls—she had Dog-Boy after all…and she wouldn't want to do anything to upset her moralistic, self-centered, hypocritically purist social group…would she?

Man, that pissed her off. Here was Blondie, pining away for someone who was too stupid, and too much of a sheep to even give her the time of day. She deserved better, deserved someone who didn't care what society thought, didn't care about what was right or wrong…but about what felt right. That was her motto, 'want, take, have.' If you wanted something, you just went ahead and took it. Why should you deny yourself anything? Life was short, and if you didn't take care of Numero Uno, then you were just wasting your time, because no one else would.

"Hey kid,” she grinned at Tara, "I'm not blind, I see the way you look at her…anyone with half a brain would realize you—”

"What?” Tara interrupted, her cheeks burning. "Y-y-you c-c-can t-t-tell? Everyone can t-t-tell I…I…?”

Faith chuckled at Tara's fear. "Relax Blondie,” she grinned. "I said anyone with half a brain…the Scoobies don't exactly fit the bill. They're too caught up in their own self importance to notice what's going on around them.”

Tara frowned at Faith's description of her friends. "I don't think they're—”

"Relax,” Faith interjected. "I was just teasing, but I really don't think they're aware of your little crush.”

Tara blushed again. "But you are?”

"Hey, I notice these things…I notice you,” she flirted, strategically placing a hand on Tara's knee, and looking into her eyes.

Tara didn't know how to react to Faith's sudden come-on. Not that she wasn't flattered—Faith was definitely one of the hottest girls she'd ever met…but she wasn't Willow. What's more, she'd never been good with people, wasn't used to having someone flirt with her, and Faith's attention threw her a little.

"I-I-I…” she stammered, searching her mind for something to say…for a way of letting Faith know she wasn't interested. Nothing came to her however, and all she could do was take a few deep breaths as she looked down at the ground.

"She's blind you know,” Faith continued, keeping her hand on Tara's knee. "She'd have to be not to notice your hotness.”

Tara didn't think it was possible to turn redder than she was already, but at Faith's words, she could feel her blush deepening even further. What was Faith implying? Why was she flirting with her?

"Look at me Tara,” Faith continued, an idea forming in her head.

Slowly, Tara lifted her gaze, meeting the Slayer's eyes.

"You're sweet and hot at the same time,” Faith whispered huskily, moving her hand from Tara's knee, up to her thigh, "and I bet you've never felt what it's like to taste a woman…to have a woman taste you…and to scream her name at the top of your lungs when you come so hard you feel like your brain's about to explode?”

Tara merely shook her head, words escaping her for the moment. She couldn't believe how daring Faith's words were, how explicit she was being, and she couldn't help getting turned on by them, just a little. Although, it was Willow's taste she was fantasizing about, Willow's lips she wanted to feel between her own legs, and Willow's name she could imagine screaming as she descended into ecstasy.

Faith smiled as she noticed Tara's eyes glaze over, knowing her words'd had their desired effect. She wasn't stupid though, she knew Red was most likely the star of Blondie's fantasy. Leaning in slowly, she moved her lips to Tara's ear. "You can see her, can't you?” she whispered seductively. "See her riding you…tasting you…feel her wetness…her desire…”

Tara closed her eyes as Faith's words evoked more erotic images in her mind. Suddenly, she realized what she was doing and pulled back in alarm. "Faith,” she said in reproach, her eyes meeting the Slayer's. "W-what are you doing?”

"Giving you a little taste,” Faith replied, gently squeezing her thigh.

"A taste of what?” Tara asked in confusion.

"You know you can never have her…that she belongs to someone else…”

"I know that Faith,” Tara sighed. "I'm hap-happy just being her friend.”

Faith chuckled at the young girl's naiveté. "No you're not,” she told her with a grin. "You'll never be happy pining away for something you can never have. That's why I'm offering you the chance to live out your fantasy.”

Tara frowned at the Slayer's words, becoming more confused than ever. "What do you mean Faith?”

"We all have urges,” Faith said huskily, moving her face closer towards Tara's, allowing her breath to brush over the young witch's lips. "We all want things we can never have…fantasize about what it would be like to taste that special someone…to taste their essence on your tongue, to feel their warm wetness surround your fingers as their muscles clench with desire…”

"What are you g-g-getting at Faith?” Tara asked breathlessly, her face burning with both embarrassment and desire. The Slayer's words had evoked the most erotic images in her mind, and she couldn't help being turned on by them, by the way the girl's hand rested seductively against her thigh, the way her breath tingled against her lips. Tara might be a one-woman kind of gal, but she was also human, and when an overly sex-charged, omni-sexual Slayer flirted with her…well, she found it hard to ignore her basic animalistic urges.

"You want her,” Faith leaned in even closer, taking full advantage of Tara's reaction. "I can see it in your eyes…can smell your need—Slayer senses and all, and I,” she bridged the gap between them and rested her forehead against Tara's, her lips almost brushing against the blonde's, "I can see you want me too, want me to please you, to bring you to the edge of insanity…”

Tara closed her eyes when Faith's lips finally brushed against hers, getting caught up in the moment. The kiss was surprisingly soft, gentle…the Slayer merely teasing her with what she could offer her, using her lips to capture hers tenderly, first the top one and then the bottom one. Faith suckled on it gently for a moment and when she finally felt Tara respond, she pulled away.

"I can give you what you want Tara,” she whispered seductively, making sure to let her lips brush against the blonde's as she spoke. "I can be whoever you want me to be…” she paused a moment to once again suckle on Tara's bottom lip, knowing instinctively that the girl liked that. "I can even be your precious Red,” she said as she pulled away, moving her hand from Tara's outer thigh, to her inner thigh.

Tara's eyes flew open in shock when she felt the Slayer's hand so close to her sex…heard her reference to Willow. It was then that she realized what Faith was getting at…realized her own weakness in succumbing to the Slayer's seduction. How could she have forgotten about Willow? Well, not forgotten about her, but let herself forget that it wasn't Willow who was touching her. She'd allowed herself to fantasize about the woman she adored as the Slayer had kissed her…spoken spoke her sexy words, and touched her oh so intimately.

This was wrong though, it was cheap. Sure, she knew she didn't stand a chance with Willow, knew she'd never feel the girl's lips against her own. But allowing herself to pretend she could, allowing Faith to seduce her into this immoral fantasy…well, it was wrong. It would be so easy to take what Faith was offering, but it wouldn't be real, it wouldn't be about love…just sex, and she wanted more than that. She could never simply have sex with someone and she knew that's all Faith was offering.

She suddenly couldn't help feeling a little sorry for the Slayer. Faith must be really lonely to feel like she doesn't deserve to be loved…as if sex is all she could hope for. What happened in this girl's life to make her feel so dejected, to make her yearn for affection in any way, even at the expense of true love…?

"I'm sorry Faith,” Tara whispered, placing her hand against the Slayer's—stilling her movement, preventing her from moving closer towards her sex.

"Don't be sorry,” Faith smiled, "just say yes,” she continued, leaning forward to once again rest her forehead against Tara's. "You know you want it…”

Tara lifted her other hand and placed it tenderly against Faith's cheek. "I do want it,” she whispered, moving her head back to look into the brunette's eyes, "I want you…but you deserve more than just my…my w-w-want…”

Tara's words confused the Slayer—it wasn't the reaction she'd been expecting. A moralistic 'it's wrong' she would have understood—even a flat out denial by Blondie of her own desire would've been a predictable response. But for Tara to tell her that she did want her, but that she deserved more, well…that just threw her.

"What do you mean I deserve more?” she asked huskily, moving her free hand to Tara's cheek. "You under-estimate your hotness Blondie,” she continued seductively. "I know you're inexperienced, but half the fun would be in the teaching…I'm sure I could show you a thing or two about how—”

"That's n-not what I m-m-mean Faith,” Tara interrupted, her cheeks burning with embarrassment. "I mean you deserve to be l-l-loved…in the truest sense of the word, and I…I d-don't l-l-love you…I'm sorry…”

"I know that, Cutie,” Faith chuckled. "I don't love you either…what I'm talking about is a good old roll in the hay, one which'll leave us both totally satisfied, and have us walking funny for days…”

Tara smiled despite her embarrassment, knowing where the girl was coming from. To Faith, sex wasn't about love, it was about momentarily feeling satisfied, fooling herself into believing it was all the affection she needed. She was wrong though—she could have affection without sex, just as she could have both love and sex together. The girl had obviously been so hurt in her life that she now believed she didn't deserve to be loved. A part of Tara could understand that—her dad had always told her she was a thing of evil—that her family were the only ones who could ever love a creature such as herself, and that she shouldn't bother seeking out love from others.

She'd been lucky however—she'd had her mom. Her mom had made sure to remind her that no matter what her dad said, everyone deserved love. There was no such thing as a totally good person, just like there was no such thing as a totally evil person. Good and evil existed inside everyone, and it was up to the individual to decide where they stood on the continuum. This was partly the reason she still had hope. Even though she had so much evil inside her, it would be up to her to decide whether or not she gave into it.

Looking into the misguided eyes of the troubled Slayer, Tara couldn't help feeling a kind of kinship with the young woman. Here was someone who hadn't had a mother to tell her she deserved love…had been brought up to believe that sex was just sex, and that love had no part of it. Faith didn't need another nameless lover, Faith needed a friend…someone to love her unconditionally…platonically, someone who would stick by her no matter what.

"You don't get it Faith,” Tara continued, practically willing herself not to stutter. The point she wanted to get across was deftly serious, and she didn't want to mar it by stammering like an idiot. "I…I want to love you,” she explained, gently running her thumb against the Slayer's cheekbone. "You deserve to be loved…”

This threw Faith even more off balance, and she could barely move as she looked into the young witch's eyes. "I thought Red was the one y—?”

"I'm not talking romantic love,” Tara interrupted gently, her smile widening. "I'm talking friendship…platonic love. I…I w-wanna be your friend Faith. I wanna get to know who you really are, and I…I want the chance to love you like a friend.”

Faith couldn't believe the words coming out of Blondie's mouth, they were almost unrecognizable to her. No one had ever said they wanted to love her before, especially not without sex. She couldn't understand her, why would she want this? Why would this girl want to be her friend, want to love her? Faith's first instinct was to think the girl was having her on, lying to her, but she knew that wasn't the case. There was just something in the way Tara was looking at her, that made her feel like she was telling the truth. Why did she feel like she could trust her? She'd never trusted anyone in her whole life, why start now?

"Love is for suckers,” Faith said eventually, refusing to give in to the weird feeling in the pit of her stomach. "It's just something guys say to get you into bed, and something girls wanna hear to justify their actions—coz, you know, it's okay to fuck someone's brains out if you're in love…” she pointed out sarcastically.

"You're wrong Faith,” Tara insisted. "Love isn't just about sex, and justification…there are m-many different forms of love…”

"Now who's been reading a Bible too much?” Faith quipped. "All this love thy neighbor garbage—”

"I'm not preaching to you Faith,” Tara smiled patiently, "I'm talking about nature, about our basic rights,” she tenderly stroked the Slayer's cheek again, wondering how deep this girl's pain really went. "I haven't read a Bible since grade school,” she pointed out good naturedly, "and I'm more of a Wiccan than a Christian…Faith, I…I understand you more than you think I do,” Tara continued.

"You understand nothing,” Faith interjected.

"You're wrong,” Tara interrupted. "You never met my father,” she began, realizing that revealing this to Faith would be the only way to get her to understand. "He made it his job to tell me I was worthless…to make me think I was, um…evil…”

Faith frowned at the young girl's words, surprised by what she'd revealed. How could anyone think this girl was evil? "You?” she asked in surprise. "You evil? That's a laugh riot if I ever heard one,” Faith chuckled. "If you're evil, then I'm the Dark lord himself—ruler of Hell.”

Tara chuckled along with the Slayer. "You're wrong though,” she said after her laughter had died down. "There's a lot you don't know about me Faith…we both have good and evil inside us…”

Faith looked like she was about to protest, but Tara moved her hand from the Slayer's cheek, to her lips, gently silencing her.

"We do,” she insisted. "But that's not my point…not exactly. What I wanna point out, is that despite all my dad told me, I was lucky enough to have my mom. She, um…she taught me that we all deserve to be loved…that no one is perfect, and it's up to us to choose how we want our lives to play out…”

"What are you driving at Blondie?” Faith inquired, moving her hand up to Tara's, and lifting it away from her lips.

"I mean you shouldn't believe all the hype about you being so, um…so bad.”

Faith chuckled in response. "I am a badass Blondie, where have you been?”

Tara chuckled too, but remained firm in her words. "But there's more to you than just that,” she insisted. "You're a Slayer,” Tara reminded her. "You fight on the side of good—and yet your power is rooted in darkness. You're more complex than even you realize, and um, I…I wanna be your friend—I think you're worth getting to know…”

Faith couldn't help warming to the girl's words, she wasn't much for the mushy stuff, but like she'd been thinking earlier, there was definitely something special about Blondie. Okay, she thought to herself. If Blondie wants to be friends, then we'll be friends, she'd have to be the only Scoobie I respect…well, except for B. There's definitely something about the whole Slayer thing that only she gets—and I know she craves more than just non-fat yogurt after a good slay…okay, focus on cutie here—I can think about Buffy later…

"Okay Blondie,” Faith ventured, her mind made up. "If you wanna be friends…I'm willing to have a go at it. But if you even bring up the love crap again—I'm outta here…got it?”

Tara giggled at the Slayer's bravado—knowing the girl was still in denial. It was a good start though—hopefully by showing Faith what true friendship was all about, she'd be able to get through to her, be able to show her that she wasn't as bad a person as she thought she was. Coz that was Faith's main downfall—she'd been told so many times how bad she was, that she'd allowed herself to believe she really was. Tara could see through that though, could sense the good inside her, and being the person she was—she wanted to do everything in her power to help this girl, she deserved it.

"Okay Faith,” Tara began, after she'd stopped giggling. "No love—the word's gone—stricken from my vocabulary.”

"Just so we're clear,” Faith grinned, finally removing her hand from Tara's thigh.

"Crystal,” Tara responded with a smile.

"So,” Faith began, suddenly getting an idea. She wanted to see how far she could push their newfound friendship, see how much sexiness she could get away with before Tara put a stop to it. "How 'bout we go to the Homecoming dance together?”

"The Homecoming dance?” Tara asked in surprise. "I, um…I don't even go to school here—”

"That's the whole point,” Faith interjected. "I bet you'd love to spend the night with Red—Dog-Boy'll be playing on stage all night I'm sure she could use the company, but you'd never go alone…so as you're friend I'm offering to take you.”

"But you don't go to school here either,” Tara pointed out. "How will you get tickets?” Although, a part of her was suddenly intrigued by the idea of going to the Homecoming dance. Faith was right, Willow would be alone all night…she'd want someone to talk to…someone to keep her company…

Tara frowned as she suddenly realized the selfishness of her thoughts. Willow had a boyfriend, she cared about Oz…she would never be interested her, and it was selfish of her to want anything more than friendship from her.

Although, on second thoughts, Willow would be lonely…

"We'll crash together,” Faith grinned. "I bet B's already bought tickets,” she continued, her grin widening when she saw the look on Tara's face—the girl was only seconds away from giving in…”and since Scott Hope ditched her…I don't think she'll mind giving 'em to us. If she changes her mind about going—she can easily get another ticket. So what do you say? You in?”

"I…” Tara hesitated, still not quite sure if it was a good idea. What's more, she couldn't help wondering about Faith's motives for asking her. "Why do you wanna go to the dance with me so much?”

"You want the truth?” Faith asked, grinning seductively.

Tara nodded in response.

"Okay,” Faith chuckled. "I wanna have a bit of fun…I plan on checking out the student population for hotties—but if I land a dreg, then I can just tell 'em you're with me…and besides, how can I resist the chance to rub up against you on the dance floor—?”

"Faith,” Tara interjected, surprised by her continued flirting. "I…I thought we c-c-cleared this up?”

"You didn't think I'd give up that easily?” Faith grinned. "Haven't you ever heard of having friends with 'benefits'?”

"Faith, I-I-I…” Tara sputtered, not knowing exactly how to respond.

"I'm not taking no for an answer,” Faith stated. "I'm going to the dance, and you're coming with me, even if I have to drag you there kicking and screaming,” she smiled softly, letting the witch know she was teasing.

Tara shook her head at Faith's words, but did so with a smile. She could tell the Slayer wasn't gonna relent, and to be honest, she couldn't really see the harm in going to the dance with her. It's not like the rest of the Scoobies wouldn't be there…and Faith was probably trying to push her buttons by asking her, wanting to test their newfound friendship.

"Okay Faith,” Tara sighed eventually, "I'm in. But I meant what I said about the whole friendship thing—that's all I want.”

"And I respect that totally,” Faith said oh-so innocently, "but you can't blame a gal for trying,” she continued, leaning close and surprising Tara with a quick kiss on the cheek. "You're a total hottie,” she flirted as she pulled away.

Tara blushed at the compliment and good naturedly pushed the Slayer away from her. "You're relentless,” she giggled.

"I always take what I want,” Faith replied, lifting her hand back up to Tara's cheek.

Willow, Oz, Xander and Cordelia chose that moment to round the grassy hill in front of the school. Willow unwittingly let go of Oz's hand in shock as she witnessed the sickening display of affection happening between Tara and Faith. Why was Faith stroking Tara's cheek? Why was Tara giggling, allowing Faith to touch her? And why did the sight of it make her wanna do some hardcore violence to Faith?

"What's going on here?” she asked the two girls, bringing their attention away from one another and up to her.

"Willow,” Tara smiled, pleased to see her student, "How was your day? Were you happy with how you turned out in the yearbook photo?” she asked, knowing the girl had been nervous about it.

Willow relaxed slightly at Tara's words, giving her a warm smile. "I think I turned out a little worried-looking,” she confessed sheepishly. "I was smiling for what seemed like ages, and when no photo was being taken I started to wonder why…and that's when the guy took it…”

"Aww,” Tara chuckled. "I bet you turn out adorable,” she grinned.

"I hope so,” Willow smiled, until her gaze once again landed on Faith. "What were you two talking about?” she frowned.

Faith grinned at the question, seeing her chance to make Red squirm. She'd have to be blind not to have noticed the death-stare the young witch had given her a moment ago. Maybe Red wasn't a totally hopeless case for Blondie after all.

"Tara here just agreed to be my date to the Homecoming dance,” Faith explained, putting an arm around the blonde for show. "Didn't you Cutie?” she grinned, placing a quick kiss against her cheek.

Tara merely smiled shyly, and lowered her face to the ground—embarrassed by the sudden attention. "I guess…” she said softly.

Willow felt her mouth open wide in shock at Faith's statement…at the audacity of it all. Why was Tara going to the dance with Faith? And most importantly, why didn't she pull away when Faith kissed her cheek? Was there something going on here that she'd missed? Why hadn't Tara told her…?

"How can you take Tara to the dance?” she asked Faith indignantly.

"Yeah,” Cordelia agreed. "Are you a lesbo too…no wait…you'd have to be bi wouldn't you…with all the stories you tell and the guys you've done…?”

For once in her life, Willow had to agree with Cordelia—and actually found herself smiling at her words. "You don't even go to this school,” Willow pointed out, not waiting for Faith to answer Cordelia's question.

Faith grinned, choosing to ignore the inane comments of the 'homecoming queen wannabe' and answer Red's question instead.

"Neither does Tara,” she pointed out. "We're gonna crash,” she turned her head and pressed another quick kiss to the young witch's cheek. "Anyway,” she looked back up at the group, "I'm gonna go check on B—get some training in before patrol.”

With that she turned back towards Tara and gently grasped the girl's cheeks in her hands. She knew this would rile up the Scoobies, and she really wanted to give Red something to think about. She'd seen the jealous look the girl had given her a moment ago, and realized that Blondie wasn't the only one with feelings. Red was in complete denial mode, it would do her good to feel a little jealous, might help Blondie in the process as well.

Willow looked on in shock as Faith pressed her lips to Tara's, kissing her soundly. She was even more upset when Tara did nothing to stop her, she just accepted the kiss. Why was she doing that? Were she and Faith a couple? Since when were they a couple? Why hadn't Tara told her she'd been seeing Faith…and why had Tara agreed to go to the dance with her? Didn't she know what kind of immoral slut the dark-haired Slayer was? She was just gonna hurt her. And why was Faith still kissing Tara? It's been almost a minute, or so it felt like, and Tara wasn't doing anything to stop her. Was she enjoying it? Was Faith like her girlfriend now or something?

In actual fact, the kiss only lasted for a few seconds, and by the time Tara realized what was happening, Faith was already pulling away from her.

"Catch ya guys later,” she ventured, leaping up from the grass. "And Tara,” she looked back down at the blonde, "You ever change your mind about that fantasy of yours…the offer still stands.”

Tara sputtered in response, and lowered her head to the ground in mortification. Why did Faith have to be so relentless?

"Fantasy?” Willow asked in shock—her eyes moving form Tara's to the Slayer's.

"Yeah,” Faith grinned. "Maybe she'll tell you about it someday Red,” she told her huskily, loving the annoyance she'd caused in the young witch. Man, her buttons were easy to push—as was the case for most of the Scoobies…

With that thought, she flashed an open-mouthed Xander a seductive smile as she headed off to the library, giving him a sly wink to egg him on even further. She loved causing a stir…and the poor guy had fallen for it hook, line and sinker. As she made her way towards the library, she couldn't help wondering if the boy was a virgin or not…she loved educating virgins…

"You can close your mouth now Xander,” Cordelia said with annoyance, lifting her hand to his chin and doing it for him.

"Did you see that?” he grinned, turning to Oz.

Oz merely looked at him blankly, choosing not to dignify Xander's question with a response. He was more worried about his girlfriend's demeanor. He could see how upset Willow seemed. Why would it irritate her to see Tara and Faith kissing? Unless…

He let his thoughts trail off then. It wouldn't do to get worked up about it, especially since he wasn't completely sure he was reading things correctly. However, the niggling feeling that Willow might be jealous of Faith simply wouldn't leave him.

Oz had sensed right, Willow was fuming. All she could think about was how dare Faith kiss Tara, how dare Tara just sit there and take it…and what the hell was this about a fantasy? Why was Tara telling Faith about her fantasies, why hadn't Tara told her about her fantasies? Willow didn't stop to think about why she was so upset—all she knew was that she hated what she'd seen…and she was suddenly furious with Tara.

Before she could speak though, Cordelia decided to voice her disapproval of her boyfriend's ogling of the sexy Slayer. "Okay,” she ventured. "If you're done ogling Slutty The Slayer, can we go now? I'm kinda thirsty and I really want my caffeine fix.”

Willow looked up at Cordelia and sighed. A part of her couldn't help but find her nickname for Faith amusing, but she wasn't ready to leave just yet. She had a few things to discuss with Tara first.

"Why don't you guys just go on without us,” she ventured, turning her glance towards Oz. "You don't mind do you?” she asked him. "I wanna talk with Tara some more…”

"Don't mind,” he smiled down at his girlfriend, forcing down his own reservations.

He could tell she wanted to grill Tara on her actions, but there was nothing he could do about it. Besides, it might be good to let Will get her emotions out in the open…

"Got practice with the Dingoes anyway,” he explained affably. "Devon wants to make sure we've got all our sets down for the dance.”

"Cool,” Willow smiled, graciously accepting his good-bye kiss.

When the gang had left, she turned her attention back to Tara, unable to keep her thoughts to herself.

"Are you and Faith like a couple now?” she asked the blonde, kneeling down next to her on the grass. "Why didn't you tell me you and Faith were dating? Since when have you been dating? How long has this been going on? Why didn't you tell me? And for that matter, why were you telling her about your fantasies. You never told me about your fantasies…and we talked talk about everything…why tell Faith? Don't you trust me? Why haven't you ever talked to me about stuff like that? What's so special about Faith? Don't you know what a slut she is? She's just gonna hurt you, you know? Faith'll do anything with two legs, and if you—”

"Hey, Will,” Tara interrupted, reaching out a hand to her knee. The girl's sudden bombardment of questions surprised her. What was Willow's problem with Faith? Why was she so upset? "There's nothing going on between me and Faith,” she explained. "We're just going to the dance as friends…really.”

"You looked more than just friendly to me,” Willow pointed out.

Tara frowned in confusion, wondering at the sudden anger in Willow's voice. What was her problem? Why was Willow freaking out…? The answer suddenly dawned on her, and she had to admit, she hated the realization.

"Oh my God, Will,” Tara sighed, quickly removing her hand from the girl's knee. "I th-th-thought you didn't have a pr-problem with me b-b-being, um…you know…g-g-gay…”

Willow frowned at Tara's words. "I don't have a problem with you being gay,” she stated. "Why would you think I have a problem with it?”

"Coz this is the f-f-first time you've actually s-s-s-seen evidence of the fact. You're freaked c-c-coz Faith k-k-kissed me, and…”

"You're right,” Willow interrupted. "I am freaked that Faith kissed you…but I'm not freaked you're gay. How can you even say that? You've got it wrong. I just know Faith's type—that's all, and…and I don't wanna see you get hurt.”

Tara didn't know what to make of Willow's words. Although, it did make more sense than Willow freaking out about the gay-thing. She knew Willow well enough by now to know she was a good person, which is why the sudden realization that she might be freaked surprised her. She didn't want to think that…in fact, she didn't want to argue with Willow at all.

"But why are you so angry Will?” Tara asked softly. "You seem angry with me…”

Willow sighed and reached her hands for Tara's. "I'm not angry with you,” she told her gently, realizing she'd been argumentative. She suddenly regretted her outburst, not wanting to fight with Tara. What had possessed her to overreact like that? It wasn't like her at all. "I just, I…I'm sorry Tara…it's none of my business. If you wanna date Faith—that's fine…I was just worried…I'm sorry…”

"You've got nothing to be worried about,” Tara smiled, relaxing somewhat at Willow's words. "And like I said…Faith and I are not dating…we're just friends.”

Willow didn't really believe that…figured Tara was just saying that to stop the argument. And since she didn't wanna argue with Tara either, she decided to let it go—for now.

"Okay Tara,” she smiled. "If you say so…”

Tara smiled back, feeling only slightly comforted. She was still a little confused about her friend's reaction. She'd never seen Willow like this before and she hated the idea that the girl was angry with her. It just didn't sit well…

"Lets talk about something else,” Willow decided to change the topic. After all, she had wanted to meet with Tara for a reason…

"W-w-what do you wanna talk about?” Tara asked, jumping at the chance to move on from their unprecedented awkwardness.

"How 'bout the dance,” Willow ventured.

Tara frowned. She'd thought Willow didn't want to continue with their argument.

"Not about that,” Willow was quick to explain, noticing Tara's reaction. "I…I wanted to ask you if you'd help me pick out an outfit. I wanna wear something that makes Oz go 'wow'…not just 'cool'…you know what I mean?”

Tara chuckled at Willow's words. "Sure,” she smiled.

"Great,” Willow grinned in response, suddenly getting an idea. "Oh…wait, you're going now too aren't you? Do you know what you're gonna wear? I can help you pick out something as well…if you want…”

"Oh,” Tara ventured, realizing she hadn't thought about that.

Although, her mother's dress suddenly came to mind…but she'd never worn it before…been saving it for a special occasion. Well…this would be her first dance after all…and she could try it on at Willow's…get the girl's opinion on it.

"I do have some idea of what I'm gonna wear,” she smiled. "But I haven't worn it before, so I'd love your opinion of it.”

"It's settled then,” Willow replied. "We'll stop by your place, grab your outfit, and then head back to mine. What do you say?”

"Okay,” Tara smiled. "But can we get something to eat first? I'm kinda hungry.”

"Sure,” Willow nodded. "Lets go to the food court at the mall,” she stood up and offered her hand to Tara. "We can grab a pizza or something.”

"Sounds great,” Tara replied, allowing Willow to help her up.


A few hours later, Tara was placing her mother's dress on Willow's bed as Willow pressed play on her Lisa Loeb CD. Willow then went to her closet and quickly took out the outfits she'd been contemplating.

"I've narrowed my choices down to these,” she explained to Tara. "You can let me know which ones you like as I try them on.”

"Okay,” Tara agreed, watching with a smile as Willow grabbed one of the outfits and headed behind her change screen.

A few minutes later, Willow stepped out from behind the screen, wearing a scarlet blouse over a white satin slip dress. "What do you think of this?” she asked Tara softly.

Tara looked up as she slipped the denim jacket from her shoulders. "Nice,” she smiled at her friend, thinking she looked absolutely adorable.

"It's my first big dance, you know,” Willow confessed, as she began to unbutton her blouse. "Where there's a boy,” she smiled widely, "and a band…and not just me alone in my room pretending that there's a boy and a band.”

Tara chuckled at this, finding it hard to believe that the enchantress before her had any problems getting guys to notice her.

Slipping the blouse off her shoulders, Willow moved towards the bed and picked up another outfit. "I just want it to be…” she trailed off, moving back behind the screen.

"Special…” Tara finished for her, as she began to unbutton her own blouse. "I know what you mean. I…I've never been to a d-d-dance before.”

"Is that why you said yes to Faith?” Willow asked.

Tara sighed at Willow's question, not wanting to get back to their argument again. "Partly…” she hesitated. "I…”

"I get it,” Willow interjected from behind the screen, instantly regretting her question. She also didn't feel like dredging up their argument. "And again…I'm sorry I overreacted…”

"It's okay Will,” Tara insisted, throwing her blouse to the bed. "You were just concerned,” she moved towards the bed and picked up her dress. She pulled it over her head, keeping her jeans on for the moment.

"What do you think about this?” Willow asked, stepping out from behind the screen again.

Tara took in her friend's appearance, the girl was wearing a long black floral print skirt, and a black top with small sunflowers on it. "Nice,” she nodded, moving her hands to the back of her own dress.

Willow watched with a smile as Tara attempted to tie the strings of the corset-type bodice. The girl could barely reach behind her, and the look of intense concentration on her face was utterly adorable. Lifting her hands up, she took a few steps towards Tara, and gently turned her around by the shoulders.

"Let me,” she whispered into her ear as she reached for the first tie at the small of her back.

Tara could only nod, her skin humming from Willow's proximity. She sucked in her breath sharply as the redhead tightened the first tie and began to work on the second. When Willow's knuckles suddenly brushed against her naked back, Tara felt her skin tingle from her touch and the sensation of the girl's breath against her neck was almost too much for Tara to handle, it was all she could do to remain standing.

"It's a gorgeous dress,” Willow whispered, moving towards the third tie, her eyes strangely drawn to the naked expanse of Tara's back. The girl had such smooth skin…and it felt so silky against her knuckles as she tied her bodice. The sensation was tingly and she too was having trouble with her legs.

"It was my mom's,” Tara breathed out gently, "she um…she left it to me when she…”

"Oh,” Willow replied softly, moving her knuckles purposefully against Tara's skin as she reached for the next tie. "Is this the first time you've worn it?” she asked, doing her best to steady her breathing. That was a hard thing to do however, seeing as the image of Tara's naked back was now firmly entrenched in her mind and the sensation of her silky skin made her feel as if a direct current of electricity was coursing through her body.

"Yeah,” Tara choked out, letting out a soft gasp at the deliberate movement of Willow's knuckles against her skin. Why was she doing this to her? Didn't she know how sexy that felt…how wet she was getting because of it? "I, um…” she forced herself to continue, "I was saving it for a special occasion.”

"Like the dance,” Willow stated, moving her hands to the final tie.

"Yeah,” Tara whispered, reminding herself to breathe. Just because Willow's hands were brushing against her skin, didn't mean she should stop breathing. But why did it have to feel so erotic…?

As Willow pulled the strings tight with her fingers, she couldn't help but wonder why she felt so dizzy. What was it about Tara's semi-nakedness that had her so worked up? Why did her legs feel like jell-o…and why could she feel the wetness building between her thighs? It's not like she thought Tara was sexy…? So why did she have the sudden urge to press her lips against Tara's skin? Why could she imagine reaching out with her tongue and running it along the exposed skin of Tara's back? Why did she want to taste the saltiness of her skin…feel her silkiness against her tongue?

"There,” Willow choked out, bringing herself out of her fantasy. She rested her fingers against Tara's back, just above where her dress ended, indulging in the texture of her skin for only a brief moment before turning around and heading back behind the screen.

Tara sighed as Willow's fingers left her skin, turning around as she disappeared from view. "Thanks Will,” she said softly, lifting the hem of her dress upwards.

"My pleasure,” Willow replied from behind the screen.

Tara quickly unbuttoned her jeans and worked down the zipper. She then deftly began to unlace her boots. "So, uh…you and Oz,” she ventured, recalling their conversation from the other night, "you decided to take the next step yet…or are you still feeling confused?” she asked, slipping her boots off, before standing back up.

"I haven't really seen him much since our talk,” Willow replied, adjusting the shoulder straps of her dress, "but…”

"You're still thinking about it?” Tara ventured, stepping out of her jeans and allowing the dress to fall gracefully down her legs.

"Yeah,” Willow replied, stepping into her shoes. "What about you and Faith…you seemed kinda cozy…I bet you're thinking about taking that step with her…?”

She couldn't help but ask the question, knowing it really wasn't appropriate after their argument, but she just couldn't stop the words from leaving her mouth. Seeing them together on the grass…witnessing the apparent affection they had for one another…watching them kiss…well…it still bothered her…made her feel kinda possessive. Why was that?

Tara sighed as she slipped into her sandals, wondering why Willow would ask that of her, why she was still bothered about it. Was Willow telling her the truth when she'd said the gay thing didn't freak her?

"It's not like that,” she explained. "Faith and I are just friends…”

"Oh, yeah?” Willow asked incredulously as she stepped out from behind the screen. "Well, since when do friends lock…?” she trailed off as her eyes met Tara's, as she took in the girl's appearance.

She was practically struck dumb by how gorgeous Tara looked…almost like a goddess. She couldn't help but slowly drag her eyes down the length of Tara's frame, taking in the way the emerald bodice hugged her figure perfectly, tightening her waist, and lifting her breasts upwards in the most enticing fashion. The lighter jade silk of the long flowing sleeves and the sheer skirt of the full full-length dress gave Tara an almost angelic appearance. She was simply breathtaking…

Tara was also dumbfounded by Willow's appearance. She just couldn't take her eyes off the girl. The elegant black evening gown fitted Willow perfectly. Tara couldn't remember ever seeing a more beautiful sight…she was speechless. Willow was a goddess…

"…lips?” Willow said huskily, finally finishing her sentence.

She realized she'd been staring too long at Tara and suddenly looked down shyly at her own dress. Giggling nervously, she decided her appearance paled in comparison to Tara's beauty. "Uh, I know…'nice'…”

"I was gonna go with 'gorgeous',” Tara whispered, taking a step towards Willow, feeling inexplicably drawn to her.

"Really?” Willow smiled, taking a step towards Tara. "You too,” she said breathlessly, her eyes locking with Tara's.

Tara smiled back at Willow, suddenly remembering to take a breath—she'd almost forgotten she needed to breathe. "Oz is very lucky,” she ventured, reminding herself that Willow was taken.

"So is Faith…” Willow replied graciously, "i-in a girl way…”

Tara simply smiled as she continued to gaze into Willow's eyes. The girl was amazing…gorgeous…

Willow moved to take another step towards Tara, but remained motionless as she realized how constricting her dress was. "I don't know if I can dance in this,” she said worriedly. "I don't know if I can dance…!”

Tara looked at her friend with complete adoration, finding her nerves utterly adorable. "Come on…piece of cake,” she ventured, stepping up to Willow. She didn't know why she was acting so boldly…but being Willow's mystical teacher…she felt it was her duty to teach her how to dance as well…at least that's what she told herself as she lifted her left hand up. "Here…” she offered, placing her right hand on Willow's shoulder.

Mesmerized by her friend's proximity, Willow laced her fingers with Tara's and placed her left hand against her waist. She breathed deeply as she took in the sweet smell of sage and jasmine, becoming more, and more intoxicated by the second. She unwittingly pulled Tara closer to her as they began to move slowly.

"Well,” Tara whispered nervously, finding it very surreal to actually be dancing with Willow, "that seems to, um…” she trailed off, dropping her gaze to the floor as they continued to move together. Being so close to Willow was causing her stomach to feel fluttery, her cheeks to turn red, and her whole body to hum with excitement.

Willow was also feeling fluttery as she looked up at Tara. The girl's face was so close to hers…her fingers felt so tingly and…and why was she suddenly so fascinated with the lusciousness of Tara's bottom lip?

"Yeah…” Willow whispered, "this shouldn't be a…” she unwittingly moved her face closer towards Tara's, "problem…”

Tara's bottom lip was so close…it was so full…and it was almost begging her to capture it. What would it feel like to run her tongue over it…to press her own lip against it…to suckle it…to taste it…?

"No,” Tara agreed, lifting her eyes from the floor. She was surprised to notice how close Willow's face was to hers…how close her lips were…”No problem…” she trailed off, as her eyes remained focused on Willow's lips. It would be so easy to lean forward…to capture those lips with hers…

Giving in to her thoughts, Tara's brain ceased to function as her lips moved ever closer to Willow's. It felt like a dream to her…a wonderful sensuous dream…and all of a sudden, she could no longer feel her legs as she closed her eyes and her lips finally met Willow's

Willow also closed her eyes as her lips met Tara's, her pulse racing with anticipation. She could do nothing to control herself as she slowly captured Tara's bottom lip, sucking on it gently for a moment, before she was forced to let it go, but only because Tara decided she wanted to taste hers as well.

Tara couldn't believe this was really happening, that she was really tasting Willow's lip…she could barely think straight anymore. All she knew was that it felt so good to feel Willow's lip against her tongue…to taste it…to let it go so that she could press her slightly open mouth firmly against Willow's. The sensations coursing through her body at this moment were unlike anything she'd ever felt in her life.

Willow too found the experience almost surreal…intoxicating. It just felt so good to press her lips to Tara's…to brush her bottom lip against Tara's top lip…to brush her top lip against the girl's bottom lip…and then to press both her lips to Tara's at once—top lip against top lip, and bottom lip against bottom lip.

Pretty soon, the girls were heatedly opening and closing their mouths as their kiss began to heat up. They alternated between capturing one another's lips and simply enjoying the sensation of their lips as they pressed together.

Neither girl knew how long the kiss lasted, all they were aware of was how good it felt. The sexual tension that had been brewing between them from the moment they'd first met had now finally come to a head, and this first kiss between them was unleashing everything they'd kept bottled up for so long.

To Willow, kissing Tara made her feel as if she were finally alive—finally understood what it was like to be free. It was almost as if her whole life had been a dream, and she was only now waking up from it. The kiss felt so good, and so right, and so natural…she'd never felt so at one with herself…with her sensuality. She just wanted this kiss to go on forever…she was kissing Tara and it was like nothing else mattered anymore, not the world…not society…not gender…not sexuality…nothing but Tara and her lips…her beauty…her taste…her smell…this was right…perfect…it was heaven…

As Tara continued to open and close her mouth against Willow's, she too couldn't help thinking how right this felt. Sure, she'd kissed girls before…but no one had ever made her feel like this…as if she were no longer herself…but a part of someone else…joined…merged…as if she'd finally found a piece of her soul—the one she'd been missing all her life. There was nothing with which to compare the sensation of kissing Willow…to compare the heat coursing through her body…the emotion…the desire…the tingly-ness of her lips…the electricity…this was heaven…nirvana.

When Tara opened her mouth yet again, Willow suddenly couldn't resist delving in for a little exploration. She was so caught up in her desire…in the surreal-ness of their kiss, that her own sensuality prompted her to taste…to seek out more of the sweetness that Tara was offering.

Almost tentatively, she worked her tongue in between Tara's lips, sighing as it instantly met with Tara's. The sudden electricity of that meeting caused her whole body to tremble and she couldn't help but moan at the sensation.

Tara moaned as well—surprised to suddenly find Willow's tongue in her mouth. She could do nothing but greet it with her own, welcoming it into her mouth. She swirled her tongue around Willow's for a brief moment, and then gently sucked on it, enjoying her flavor.

Willow loved this, and couldn't help but squeeze Tara's hand with her own, and pull her even closer against her body. This caused her breasts to come into contact with Tara's, and instantly the wetness between her legs doubled.

Tara arched her back in response, surprised to feel her nipples pressing against Willow's. Her surprise consequently caused her to let go of Willow's tongue, and the redhead immediately took advantage of this by allowing her tongue to explore the inner recesses of Tara's mouth.

Tara trembled with sensation as Willow's tongue worked itself around her mouth, pressing into every little nook and cranny. It licked at her own tongue…at the roof of her mouth…the fleshy area of her cheeks…over her teeth…and then finally retreated to taste her lips. The feel of Willow's tongue licking a gentle circle over her lips invoked Tara's inner sexuality and she growled softly as she thrust her own tongue into Willow's mouth.

Willow was surprised by Tara's sudden forcefulness…by her soft growl—and yet she was extremely turned on by it. She could do nothing but allow her the access she was seeking, allow her to explore her own mouth.

Tara happily took what was offered to her…eagerly pressing her tongue to the roof of Willow's mouth…and then slowly licking her way across it. She then circled around the rest of Willow's mouth…tasting her…savoring her…staking her claim as she absorbed Willow's flavor into her being.

It was then that Willow growled, and reached her own tongue up to meet Tara's. She dueled with it for a moment, before pulling away so that she could gently suck on it. She wasn't really aware of what she was doing, all she cared about was how good it felt. It didn't matter that she had a boyfriend…that Tara was a girl…that what she was doing was wrong. To her, it didn't feel wrong…it felt oh so right, righter than anything had ever felt in her whole life.

But it was wrong—if only for the fact that she was cheating on her boyfriend. The instant she thought this, Tara thought it too, as if their kiss had somehow linked their thought patterns momentarily. We shouldn't be doing this, they both realized. It was wrong…even if it did feel so right.

They sprang apart instantly, letting go of each other as they looked at one another in shock. What had they done? What had possessed them to act so wantonly? It hadn't really happened…had it?

"That didn't just happen!” Tara pointed at Willow, voicing both their thoughts.

"No!” Willow agreed, gesturing nervously with her hands. "I mean, it did…but it didn't!”

"Because I respect you,” Tara continued, "and Oz…and I would never…”

"I would never, either,” Willow frowned. "I-it must be the clothes…i-it's a fluke.”

"It's a clothes fluke,” Tara supplied, jumping at the chance to justify her actions, "that's what it is…and there'll be no more fluking…”

"Not ever,” Willow replied, her eyes drifting back down to Tara's lips. Unwittingly she took a step towards her, once again feeling the draw of her sensuality.

Tara leaned in as well, feeling just as powerless as Willow. "We gotta get out of these clothes!” she stated, jumping back as she realized what she was doing.

"Right now,” Willow agreed, pulling back as well.

Their eyes met then as they realized the implications of what they'd just said.

"Oh,” Tara ventured, feeling all flustered, "I didn't mean…”

Willow shook her head in agreement, her cheeks burning with embarrassment. "I didn't…me, either,” she stated, turning around as she ran towards the change screen.

Feeling utterly mortified by her behavior, Tara turned the other way and headed straight for the door, choosing to leave her boots and casual clothes behind. She'd probably just ruined her friendship with Willow forever, and she was in a rush to get home, before the tears consumed her.

Willow heard the door slam, and realized Tara had left. Stepping out from behind the screen, she hastily dragged the evil-dress off her body and tossed it to the floor. She then threw herself onto her bed as she began to sob uncontrollably.

What had she done…what did it all mean? Had she ruined her friendship with Tara? Why had she kissed her? Why had it felt so good…so right? Was she gay…? If she was…then why did she care about Oz…what was Oz to her? What was going on…why had she behaved so irresponsibly…and why couldn't she forget how hot it had felt to kiss Tara? She'd never gotten so turned on by kissing Oz…never gotten so wet…so shaky…so blind.

Did this mean she was gay…? She didn't want to be gay…she wasn't gay—was she? If she wasn't, then why did she constantly feel like touching Tara…like holding her hand…holding her close…licking her naked back…kissing her…? Had she been in denial? Is that why she'd freaked when she'd seen Tara and Faith kissing…was she jealous? Is that it?

Oh, God…she'd just ruined her friendship with Tara for good. Even if she was interested in Tara, the girl had Faith. Why would she want a nobody like her when she could have a sexy Slayer who could kill things with her bare hands? The girl probably felt all embarrassed now…didn't know how to tell her she just wanted to be friends. Tara was gay, so of course she'd kissed her, two girls…dancing…heat of the moment and all…but that didn't mean she wanted more than friendship.

All Tara had ever offered her was friendship—she'd never come on to her…never given her reason to believe she wanted more. What would she do if Tara left her…if Tara decided she'd overstepped her bounds? The girl had come to mean so much to her in the short time that she'd known her. Tara was her teacher…her confidant…one of her best friends…she'd told things to Tara she'd never told anyone else…no one understood her like Tara did.

So why did she have to be such an idiot and ruin it with a kiss? Okay, so it wasn't just a kiss—it was a mind-blowing make-out session—with tongue and everything. A quick peck on the lips…that could be explained away—but what had just happened between them was more than just that…it was soulful and spiritual…and magickal…at least to her.

What was she going to do? She'd just lost her best friend…and worse…she'd cheated on her boyfriend. How could she be such a terrible person? She'd not only hurt Oz, but herself as well…and she'd probably made Tara feel utterly uncomfortable. The poor girl was probably sitting in her room right now, thinking of ways to let her down gently…pondering over how to end their friendship.

Oh God, she didn't even know who she was anymore. The person who had kissed Tara wasn't her—was it? She would never feel that way about a girl…think those thoughts about a girl…kiss her passionately…explore her mouth with her tongue…fantasize about her nakedness…feel like running her tongue over her salty skin…? Would she? What was she going to do? What would everyone say if she were gay…what would Oz say?

She cared about Oz…didn't want to hurt him…but if she were gay…how could she live a lie? Would being with Oz really be a lie…or was kissing Tara just a fluke? Did she want to do it again…? The answer was yes! Now that she'd had a taste of those sweet lips…sampled what the girl had to offer…how could she not want it? She'd never be able to forget that kiss—it had simply left her wanting more…

What was she to do? She wanted Tara desperately…but she'd never be able to have her. A goddess such as Tara would never want a nobody like her, she deserved more. Besides, she had more…she had Faith…and even if Faith wasn't good enough for her, the Slayer was still better than her. Faith was obviously way more experienced than she was…she could probably do things to Tara that she could only dream about.

That thought suddenly made her feel a little queasy. The idea of Faith pleasing Tara…well…that just seemed wrong to her somehow. Tara was her girl…she was the only one who had the right to touch her…to kiss her…to please her…

Okay, since when did she become Ms Possessive? Tara wasn't hers…she belonged to no one…she had no right to think otherwise. And yet…she couldn't help it. She hated the idea of Tara with someone else—someone other than her. It was only now that she finally realized why she'd felt so angry, so furious with Tara for allowing Faith to kiss her. She was jealous…

Willow began to sob even harder at that thought, as the hopelessness of her situation dawned on her. For the second time in her life, she wanted someone who didn't want her back…what's more, she was almost possibly gay…and even worse—she'd cheated on her boyfriend. Her life was ruined…not just because of her sexuality, but because she now knew she could never be 'just friends' with Tara, but that friendship was all that Tara wanted. How could she just stand around and do nothing as she watched her sweet Tara make time with Faith?

Throwing the remaining clothes off her bed, Willow crawled under the bedcovers, not bothering to get dressed. She then continued to wallow in her depression, in her hopelessness…softly crying herself to sleep.


Meanwhile, Tara rushed towards her dorm in utter anguish. She too felt like she'd ruined their friendship. Willow would probably never want to speak to her again, not after she'd practically mauled her. How could she have been so wantonly aggressive?

As she closed the door behind her, Tara quickly took off her dress and slipped into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, before crawling under the covers of her bed. She cried softly for a while…thinking she'd lost Willow forever.

However, as her thoughts started to wander…she began to slowly realize that Willow had kissed her back. She hadn't been the only one doing the kissing…if she remembered correctly, Willow's tongue had definitely made its way into her mouth…had dueled with her own…explored her…

Did that mean there was the possibility that Willow might actually be interested in her? Could this have changed the dynamic of their relationship? Although…Willow wasn't gay…she had Oz…but maybe…

Tara refused to hope one way or another. She realized that before she started to dream of having a chance with Willow romantically, she'd need to speak with the girl. They had to discuss what had happened…figure out what they both wanted. She didn't want to push Willow into something she didn't want—and she especially didn't want to do anything to ruin their friendship.

With that thought, she allowed herself to gradually drift off to sleep. She'd left her stuff at Willow's…hopefully the girl would come over to return it tomorrow…and they could discuss what had happened then.


Just as Tara had expected, Willow came over the following night to return her clothes and boots. She smiled shyly at the redhead as she let her into the room, neither of them saying a word as Willow placed the bag with her stuff down on the floor.

"Thanks,” Tara said eventually, her heart racing with nervousness.

"You're welcome,” Willow replied, not knowing what else to say. This was really awkward for her, and she was unable to even meet Tara's eyes properly. She was desperate to ask Tara what she wanted…what their kiss had meant…but she was scared to bring it up, scared because she didn't want to hear Tara say she just wanted to be friends. Although, she did have a boyfriend…

That just made this all the more difficult. Willow was still feeling utterly confused about everything…about how she felt…about her sexuality. The one thing she was sure of however…was that kissing Tara had been one of the most erotic experiences of her life…and it was definitely something she wanted to do again.

"You wanna sit down?” Tara asked eventually, breaking Willow's thoughts.

"Okay,” Willow replied, still unable to actually look at Tara.

Tara could see this awkwardness, and began to realize that maybe Willow really did want to be just friends. If that were all she wanted, then she'd have to let her know it was okay. She didn't want to do anything to jeopardize their friendship.

Taking a seat next to Willow, Tara placed a gentle hand on her knee. "Will,” she ventured softly.

Willow almost jumped when she felt Tara's hand on her. She hadn't expected the contact, and as she turned around to face her, she was suddenly surprised at how close Tara's face was to hers. Ever since their kiss…all she'd been able to think about was Tara's lips…what they'd tasted like…felt like…and now that she was once again so close to them…she found that she couldn't really resist their allure. Before she could even think of the ramifications of her actions, Willow lowered her head and gently pressed her lips to Tara's.

Tara was surprised to suddenly feel Willow's lips against hers, but she instantly responded to the kiss. She expertly began to open and close her mouth against Willow's, as their lips brushed together sensuously. Her hands meanwhile moved to Willow's cheeks, wanting to feel the soft texture of the girl's skin against her fingertips.

Willow moaned as Tara reached for her, and moved her own hands around to Tara's back. She gripped her tightly, and thrust her tongue purposefully into the blonde's mouth. She wasn't really thinking about what she was doing…she was just going with the moment…enjoying the sensation of being so close to Tara.

Tara had no idea what it meant that Willow was kissing her…all she knew was that she didn't want her to stop. For whatever reason…Willow had decided to kiss her again, and this time she wouldn't stop her…wouldn't pull away. So what if Willow had a boyfriend…that didn't matter.… Only it did. Tara cared about Willow a great deal, and she wanted more than just the odd kiss. She wanted a relationship with her, and if Willow was still with Oz…well…then this just wasn't right.

Pulling away from Willow's kiss was the hardest thing Tara had ever had to do in her life, but she did so anyway. She needed to know where she stood with Willow…what it meant that Willow was kissing her…and she couldn't allow the kiss to continue before she knew what it meant.

Willow was surprised when she felt Tara pull away from her, but instantly realized what it meant. How could she have been so stupid as to kiss her again…? Of course Tara was pulling away…she didn't want her…she wanted Faith…and now she'd done even more damage to their relationship.

Before Tara could say a word, Willow leapt up off the bed and looked down at her with mortification. "Oh God, Tara,” she said through the sudden tears in her eyes. "I'm so sorry, I…I…” she trailed off, her embarrassment getting the better of her as she rushed for the door.

"Willow wait,” Tara stood up, following the girl to the door. 'It's—” she was about to say okay, but Willow had already slammed the door behind her. Tara couldn't believe it…what had she done? Why had Willow stormed out like that? Had she offended her…? Of course…Willow must've thought she'd pulled away because she didn't want to kiss her…

With a sigh, Tara returned to her bed as she began to cry softly. Had she made things worse by pulling away? Although…why had Willow kissed her in the first place? What was going on here…where did she stand with Willow…and why did Willow have to storm out like that? Had she ruined their friendship with her actions?

Not knowing what the best course of action would be, Tara decided to sleep on it. Hopefully by morning she'd think of the best way to approach this situation.


As Willow ran all the way home, she cursed her inappropriate behavior. What had possessed her to suddenly kiss Tara again? She'd gone over to the girl's dorm with every intention of talking about what had happened, and had ended up making a fool of herself. Tara didn't want her…she wanted Faith. At that thought, Willow suddenly remembered that she too had someone…she had Oz. What's more, maybe it was all for the best…she didn't want to be gay…she had a great boyfriend…

Maybe she should prove it? She'd told Tara the other day that she felt something was missing in her relationship with Oz…that she was scared to take the next step. Maybe it was time to get over her fear, and prove once and for all that she wasn't gay?

With renewed purpose, Willow rushed straight for her phone when she reached her room. She hastily dialed Oz's number and asked him to come straight to her house. If she was gonna prove she wasn't gay…she might as well do so now.

Continued...

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