The Letting Go by the Rainbow Writers

Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Willow, Tara, Faith, Giles, Dawn and all other characters who have appeared in the syndicated series Buffy The Vampire Slayer, together with the names, titles and back story are the sole copyright property of Joss Whedon, Fox and Mutant Enemy. No copyright infringement was intended in the writing of this fan fiction. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the authors. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Please contact the authors for permission to reproduce this story on any other fanfiction site.
Distribution: The Rainbow Writer's Homepage: http://www.therainbowwriters.com/
Mystic Muse: http://mysticmuse.net
Feedback: All feedback is welcome.
Author's Note: This story is set a little over eight years from the current time place of the series in season five, (with the premise that Glory has been defeated, without the loss of any of the gang or any severe trauma to them i.e. Tough Love didn't happen in this storyline). It is a severely traumatic story, which has come about in an attempt to deal with the topic of loss and the variety of emotional responses that evolve from these life-changing experiences.
Pairing: Willow/Tara

Summary: Willow needs Tara's and Faith's help in defeating the thing that killed Buffy.

"Opps I think I just blew out our only light source." Willow laughed lightly as she remembered the sweet innocence of her lover and just the memory of it made her fall even deeper in love with Tara.

"Will, time to put down the candle." Tara wrapped her hands around the hacker's and guided them over to place the candle down.

"Time for this moment." Willow whispered her agreement putting the candle on the dresser in a combined move.

From their position over Willow's, Tara moved her hands up the hacker's arms traveling over the material of her top until they rested lightly on her shoulders. At the same time Willow moved her hands to Tara's hips, gently guiding her closer as their lips met full of love and passion. Tara cupped her hands together round the back of Willow's neck as she maintained the pressure in their kiss.

Willow closed her eyes and felt a thousand and one things all at once. Love sparked in her heart even more full and feverish then she'd even imagined possible as she stood there in Tara's forgiving arms.

Tara could not have described how she felt if someone had offered her all the riches on earth and in heaven combined. As she let her hands splay upwards against the back of Willow's head, everything that had hurt, no longer hurt, everything that had felt weak and twisted, felt stronger, straighter more assured, everything unlovable, became suddenly almost revered by this beauty in her arms.

For the first second in over two weeks, losing Buffy didn't seem like the end of Willow's world because she could feel the Slayer smiling somewhere, ultimately happy to see them together again.

'I love you so much.' Willow kissed her deeper as her tumultuous mind boiled down to one thought. She pushed her hands up under the cotton of Tara's shirt again, her fingers paying over the soft flesh of the blonde's lower back and with the edge of the drawstring pajamas.

Tara breathed in as she felt Willow's hands on her skin, the touch felt warm and gentle just as it had when they were barely out of their teens.

"Like the first time." Tara breathed, slipping her hands back round from Willow's neck she moved them to undo the buttons on the front of the lightly patterned cotton shirt. Slowly working each small round circle of plastic through its carefully embroidered hole.

"Every time is like the first time my love." Willow felt her stomach and chest flutter behind her shirt, as the buttons were undone. Tara pressed her fingertips lightly against the flesh she revealed before sliding them up wards to ease the shirt off Willow's shoulders. "You make me feel so wonderful." She admitted shrugging her shoulders back slightly as the material fell away and left her standing their partially naked.

"Can I?" She pulled slightly at the edge of Tara's top, sliding it a little upwards. Tara merely nodded and moved her arms a little to make the removal easier.

Willow pulled the fabric up and away quickly, letting it linger forgotten in her hand for a moment as she let her eyes go over the blonde's body. Without knowing it the, fabric slipped out of her fingertips and to the floor.

"You are so beautiful." She reached out and reverently traced the same fingertips over Tara's collarbone, shots of pure fire going through her being at the slight contact. For the first time since it happened Tara gave no thought to the attack or the reminders of it that littered her body, as her lover touched her skin, instead she just felt alive and impassioned.

Willow let her hand slowly drift down, skimming over the blonde's full breasts to land on the tie at her waist.

"I need to see all of you, to know you're real." Her voice held a slight panic, as suddenly she was afraid all of this was a dream and it was going to disappear.

Willow's shaky fingers undid the slight knot and loosening the grip the generous material had on the blonde's hips she let the pants fall to the ground. Her fingers stayed at Tara's stomach, walking across her skin as Willow drank in all that was before her.

"I love you so much." Her voice matched her eyes, which suddenly filled with warm happy tears.

"I never dreamed this would happen, that it would be this… this perfect." Tara breathed out her voice full of emotion as her hand strayed up to brush through Willow's hair once more.

"It had to happen." Willow underlined confidently. "You're my girl." She breathed out the words, stepping forward to kiss the blonde again.

"My everything." Tara agreed bringing her lips to Willow's, her hands slipping round her tiny waist to pull the redhead closer.

Willow moved as close as she could get, bodies together, breasts pushed together with a tension that only lagged as each one of the breathed out. Carefully Tara found the button on the top of the ankle length patterned skirt that Willow was wearing. She drew her finger round and round the shiny plastic just waiting for a nod or moan of consent.

Easily Tara's nimble fingers released the button, and lowered the zipper letting the suddenly loose skirt fall to the floor and pool at the redhead's feet.

"I love you too." Willow barely moved back out of the kiss, as she held on tight to the blonde, her hands brushing over the swell of her backside down around her hips to the beginning of her thighs. "Should we..." She thought of the once abandoned bed. "Lie down?"

"I think we should." Tara nodded her agreement though it took concentration to actually move.

Willow kept a firm on the witch's back as she eased her towards the bed. She fumbled to not trip up as they moved together over discarded clothes. She now knew she should have cleaned up, as the clothes' littering the floor became a distinct obstacle. Tara put her knee on the bed first and then turned to look at Willow before lowering onto the deep purple sheets fully.

"You're sure?" She breathed she wanted it to be right this time, no question, no confusion.

"I'm positive. I love you." Willow watched her lover move down then followed her onto the soft purple cotton. She lowered her body partly over the blonde as she leaned into another long kiss. Tara slipped her arms around Willow's lithe body and ran her fingers down the redhead's spine letting her tongue dance over Willow's in a slow, yet passionate dance.

Willow arched out of the movement at her back, pressing herself tighter to Tara's body. Her skin was alight with a passion and completeness that she hadn't ever thought could be possible. Her hands went to the blonde's breasts, massaging with a light urgent intensity.

"Oh Will..." Tara's voice failed her as sparks of desire flashed through her body.

"I never stopped loving you." Willow breathed into their kiss as her hands massaged more, her fingers focusing on erect wanting nipples.

Tara brought her own hands round and cupped the hacker's small perfect breasts, rubbing her thumbs over them with increasing firmness as she pressed her tongue deeper into the kiss. Willow again arched into the feel of Tara's hands, her eyes squeezed close as she gave into the luscious feeling.

Tara felt partially overwhelmed by everything: the very touch of skin on skin, the smells and textures that were Willow filling her every pore. The thought that the breasts beneath her fingers were Willow's alone almost drove her closer to breaking point. The very fact that she was here with Willow, and they were about to make love was quickly driving her into blissful oblivion. Her body had waited for this for eight years, her soul and mind and spirit had waited that time too, and now they wanted to feel everything, do everything to love the delicate woman above her.

Willow was caught up in a myriad of emotions. She could hardly believe where she was, here in her bed with Tara beneath her, with Tara touching her, Tara loving her, Tara in love with her.

Tara pulled her mouth from Willow's and took a staggered breath, as she gazed into the redhead's eyes, her thumbs now toying with pert nipples. Willow let her lips cool as she pulled back looking deep into the eyes that stared into her soul.

"This feels..." She hesitated trying to find the perfect words. "So right." She decided upon the severely lacking words.

Nodding Tara placed a quick chaste kiss on the warm wet lips above her, then she dipped her head and closed her lips around Willow's left nipple drawing it gently into her mouth as her other hand continued to entice the other.

"Oh Tara!" Willow moaned as her flesh was encircled in warmth, her needy body arching into the contact.

Tara slid her hand around Willow's back as she drew soft supple skin into her mouth sucking lightly. She let her tongue drag over the excited flesh, drawing tight circles around the hard nub of skin.

'Willow tastes so good.' Tara's mind registered as she nuzzled closer the hand around the hacker's back pulling her down a little tighter.

Willow's hands kept up their massage on blissful automatic, as she was lost in the feeling inside herself. She moaned again, her eyes squeezed shut as her body was lit aflame by the blonde's mouth. Her stomach fluttered and she felt a distinct throb starting between her legs. She squeezed their bodies close together, urgently slipping her leg between the blonde's, moaning deeply again as her thigh came in contact with wet and warmth.

Tara shifted her legs apart more, letting Willow fit closer, more completely against her heated center. She dragged her tongue across Willow's body to capture the other nipple between her hot lips. In a careful move, she swapped hands, bringing one round to cup the recently tasted flesh while the other slid around Willow's back tracing up and down her spine.

With the welcoming Willow pushed her leg and hips closer, rocking into the needy wet that her awaited her, driven on by the changing movement at her breasts.

"Oh Goddess you light me on fire." The redhead whispered out the blissful words looking down at Tara briefly as she moved against the blonde's body with a little more rhythm. Everything inside her was moving so fast, rising so high, the simplest reaction pulling her to a lofty place far past anything it had felt in years.

Tara briefly stopped kissing Willow's breast and nodded her agreement. She knew that Willow could feel her body's reaction to their lovemaking, there was no way she could hide the heat and dampness and she didn't want to.

The blonde pulled back her mouth, though her tongue continued flicking over Willow's erect nipple, as she released the other breast from its sweet torture. Carefully she drew her fingers over Willow's skin down to her navel, which she circled over and over with light fingertips as her tongue played with the flesh above it.

Momentarily Willow lost the control to keep her own motions as her body became completely at the mercy of Tara's attentions. She braced her hands down into the sheets pulling close o the blonde as everything became about Tara, became about the signals being sent back from her enticed skin with each touch.

Tara moved her hand lower and just let her fingers thread through warm, wet red curls. She lightly drew her fingers back and forth through the short hairs, never pushing between the redhead's legs, just massaging back and forth over her soft mound.

Willow closed her eyes again, trying to keep her thoughts together as Tara reached down and touched her in a way that she had not been touched in eight years: a touch of safety, of reverence and of ultimate love.

Tara let the hand around Willow drop further to graze over the skin in the shallow of the redhead's back, drawing back and forth just like the other hand did. Willow felt her hips begin rocking against the movement even harder.

"Please my love." Willow whispered back her breath hot and aroused in her throat.

Tara let her hand slide lower and then let it curl upwards, brushing her fingertips against swollen and heated lips. The redhead's body instantly reacted to the touch, pushing forward needing more. Tara gave a ragged low moan, as her fingers pressed against the wetness. She let her fingers move over the full length of Willow, not pressing in, just spreading the heat and wetness that greeted her, over her fingers. Completely blown away by the feel of her lover's arousal, she let the redhead dictate the pace moving with Willow as she rocked against her.

Willow bit her lip slightly, breathing in lightly as she felt pure bliss shoot up from where the blonde touched her. Her hips pushed against wet fingers, growing absently in pace as Willow raced fast and hard towards release.

Within moments Tara felt the changes in her lover, and pressed upwards with her next rock forward letting her fingers press in. Lost within the world of fluid warmth that was Willow's essence, she had to fight to keep a hold of true clarity.

Willow's groan marked the moment that her tight insides grew even tighter as she was entered, the flood inside her pushing out in sweet greeting as her hips rocked faster.

"Oh baby." Tara moaned her own hips flexing as an automatic response the her lover's reaction, she let her fingers slide in and out of her lover, pressing lightly against the slick walls feeling the throb of blood through the muscles that gripped her.

"Tara!" Willow whispered out the blonde's name in a long tone, as her upper body stopped its movement as only her lower body met Tara's fingers, met them with a flood and sudden spasm that rocked her from within until the muscles of her thighs began to shake.

"So good." Tara felt the tentative grip on control she had begin to slide as she felt Willow's body literally tingle, her own body ached, longing to take Willow higher further so much that it almost hurt.

"Please." Willow's body kept rocking against her lover, unable to stop, needing to continue, just that little bit more ecstasy hid within for a moment longer before even that gave over and the redhead's arms tumbled in on themselves slightly. Her whole body quivered as her breathing came fast and shallow. A slight mist of sweet sweat covering her as she stayed blind to anything but Tara and their love within the endings of her release.

"I got you, I got you." Tara breathed the grip she had on her lover's back increasing slightly as she gave her other hand over to Willow to control.

Willow held on as tightly as she could, her lover body still rocking slightly as if it had almost forgotten to stop. Her heart beat hard and fast in her chest, echoed in her ears but she soon realized that was Tara's heart as she had her head pressed firmly to the blonde's breast.

Tara carefully freed her other hand and drew it from its resting-place, unable to resist drawing it seductively over the outside of hot wet flesh, a move that did nothing to quell the intense fire within own body.

"Oh Tara." Willow groaned her attentive exhausted flesh quivering again under the slow touch.

Willow's mind vaguely registered that time had passed as she lay safe and secure in Tara's arms. The heartbeat that echoed in her head still came fast and hard, though her own had finally slowed slightly from the extreme pace her body had forced upon it for a long passionate moment. The more than pleasurable feeling of numbness that slid into, over and between her hips and legs made her realize that despite the belief of her central nervous center she could move. Slowly she turned her head and looked up into aroused blue eyes.

"I love you." Tara breathed her hot breath on Willow's face softly as she spoke the feelings of her heart.

"I love you." Willow repeated the words, her heart singing them in chorus with the aura of love that clung around them. Slowly she shifted her body, sliding up the blonde turning slightly as she brought their lips tenderly together. Tara met the kiss gratefully loving the heat of Willow's lips on her own.

As she raised herself up into the kiss, Willow's knee gently moved forward again pressing against the apex of the blonde's legs and was instantly bathed in another wave of wet smoldering heat. Tara groaned into Willow's mouth, once more sifting her legs apart a little.

For a second Willow felt an ancient panic hit her, a panic that in reality was neither uncomfortable nor distressing but a panic none the less. Kissing the blonde her mind and body tried to make the age-old decision: to feast on her Tara in a fast hungry way, in fevered want and passion, in heady love and need. Or savor every drop, memorize it on her lips and tongue, etch it on her fingers and palms, paint in into her flesh in sweat and sweetness.

Tara arched her back a little and moved her hands over the narrow back of her lover, the feelings rushing through her body heart and mind defied explanation.

Willow pulled away slowly, letting the kiss between them hang electrically in the air, before she dipped her head down and dragged her bottom lip over the blonde's alert right nipple. She smiled against the straining peak of flesh as her mind decided it needed to savor. Savor every nuance of their love bonded strong in history but newly proclaimed again with full and honest hearts. Slowly she sucked the flesh into her mouth, increasing the pressure slowly before releasing it and then heightening it again.

Tara moved her hand up to Willow's head and stroked her fingers through red hair. She kept her back in a tight arch that lifted her body to Willow's exploring lips and tongue.

The entire time Willow delicately pushed her knee against Tara's wetness, timing the pressure with her mouth. Feeling the nipple in her mouth raise to a strained state of arousal, she moved her lips over slowing giving its mate the same attention.

Tara closed her eyes in sheer bliss and gently pressed her hips up against Willow's leg again letting an aroused moan pass her lips, her hands still cradling the back of the hacker's head.

Needing to be closer, the redhead shifted her weight and brought her entire lower body between the blonde's parted legs, pushing in now full with her hips as she continued to assault Tara's upper body with her lips.

Tara literally gasped as she pressed her body up and met with Willow's. She rotated her hips against her lover in a slow yet desperate motion.

Willow felt the move against her and innately knew how needy Tara was feeling. Relinquishing the flesh in her mouth, she slowly began kissing her way lower. Her mind barely registered passing over slight scars and marks, but she paused and kissed each of them lightly in her own mind covering them with love so that the blonde knew they meant nothing.

Tara hardly registered Willow's gentle lips on her body, though a part of her mind did scream out in distant recognition, she was too aware of the fire that burned inside her being that consumed her body and heart.

She kissed over Tara's taught stomach to place wet kisses across her hips and upper thighs.

"I love you." Willow looked up one last moment as she watched the blonde's face flush with heavy arousal before she leaned in and tasted that which had remained untouchable for her for so long.

Tara couldn't help but drag her fingers up through Willow's hair as the redhead's lips and tongue touched her heated flesh.

"W... i… l… l... o... w." She dragged out her lover's name as she moved her hips through a long slow circle.

The sweet nectar that bathed Willow's lips and tongue made her head swim instantly and for a brief moment a feeling of disorientation swept over her. Taking a deep breath, her ragged lungs were filled with the pure scent of her lover and her head seemed to instantly clear as she pressed in with a want of her own: a want to taste, a need to fulfill, a desire to savor and a wish to satisfy. With all these things in her heart the redhead teased already attentive flesh with slow long movements, closing her lips then over her tongue and Tara's clit as she sucked hard.

"Baby." Tara gasped again, letting her hands slide from her lover's hair, down to the mattress around her. She stretched out the fingers of both hands over the crisp sheets and pressed them into the mattress.

Willow felt all of Tara snap taunt and she immediately released the sweet pressure, returning to long lingering strokes with her tongue. Slowly the redhead moved deeper, her soft muscle questing into even softer depths briefly before moving out again.

Tara felt each and every one of Willow's loving movements, her body quivering more with each heavenly pass. Tara felt the sheet curling between her fingers as Willow spun the magic that only she could. Normally merely the thought of this would have made the naturally shy witch cringe, but with Willow there was not even the thought of hesitation. All she wanted was Willow's mouth on her, her tongue pressing against her most intimate heat.

Tara briefly wondered with a distant part of her mind if Willow remembered just how long she could take this, wondered if the redhead recalled how they used to play like this for hours licking, tasting, exploring one another.

Willow withdrew slowly, moving her lips back up to suck on straining nerves as she brought her hand up teasing lightly with feathery fingertips where her lips had just been though she didn't delve inside just yet.

Tara sighed heavily and pushed her hips off the mattress, the muscles in her back straining to hold became a reminder to the blonde witch that she had not been like this for a long time. She kept herself tight and strong as Willow continued to tease and enjoy her outer lips.

Taking a light breath Willow applied slight pressure behind her exploring fingers as she pressed and teased Tara and then in an easy move slipped her fingers into Tara's tight body.

The blonde groaned and then pushed down against her lover, light headed Willow pushed up and then introduced a gentle and appropriate rhythm, which Tara accepted with exquisite pleasure.

Willow loved Tara long and thoroughly, tending to the blonde's every whim, bringing them both more pleasure that she had ever dreamed she would feel again. When they were both completely satiated Willow let Tara snuggle in close and let her eyes drift close, happy to accept a moment or two of sleep.

"I guess I should make a move." Dawn held a long length of her own hair between her thumb and forefinger trailing it lazily down between Jack's naked breasts. "Though I would really just like to stay here and snuggle." The young woman admitted as she propped herself up on her elbow and glanced down into Jack's heavy eyes.

"Well..." Jack opened up dusty gray eyes and smiled at her slowly. "We could always come back here afterwards and cuddle till physics tomorrow night."

"We could? You promise?" Dawn trailed her hair back up again, sliding it around to tickle the young woman's earlobe.

"We can and I do." Jack laughed lightly, sliding over on her side slightly as the sheet slipped further off her lower body. "Though I can't guarantee it won't be loud upstairs, you know how the horde are."

"We can try and out do them in the noise department if you like?" Dawn grinned and arched her eyebrow high.

"I think you already might have already set a standard." Jack leaned up and kissed her shoulder. "Who knew little Dawn Summers had such a trucker mouth?" She teased gently.

"Can you imagine if Willow heard that!" She laughed and stopped her gentle torture.

"Hey I venture a guess that your Aunt has done some pretty freaky things in her own bedroom." Jack leaned back down putting her hands up under her head not quite sure where the pillows off the bed had gone. "And I was enjoying that." She pouted slightly.

"Do you mind if I don't let myself think of what Willow does or ever did in her bedroom." Dawn slipped back over onto her back and snuggled down a little staring at the ceiling.

"Certain creep factor nine eh?" Jack rolled over fully bringing her hand down to draw circles on the brunette's stomach. Dawn nodded in agreement though there was a thoughtful look in her eyes.

"Though I have a slight confession to make." She let the expression morph into a smile that spread across her face.

"Yeah." A brief blush flushed the young woman's cheek as she looked at her lover from the dark wooden ceiling.

"I used to have a bit of a thing about someone." Dawn admitted feeling her blush deepen.

"It was a long time ago." The young Summers remembered the feelings almost as if the time that had gone were merely the blink of an eye.

"So what's it like?" Dawn leaned forward eagerly, her eyes intently fixed on the blue eyes of Tara who sat crossed legged on the bed across from her.

"What's what like Dawnie?" From somewhere behind the young teenager Willow's voice called. The red haired witch wandered to the bed, from the bookshelf and sat down beside Tara.

"Being a witch being able to do cool things." Dawn enthused glancing over at Willow briefly before once more looking at Tara.

"Oh it's great." Willow enthused as she levitated the stuffed dog off the bed and moved it over to drop on the floor in front of the dark haired adolescent.

"Oh Yeah I'm okay." Dawn replied sighing softly as her mind brooded through the visions of a not so distant past when she had been down right horrible to the two witches for refusing to help her with a resurrection spell.

"Looks like out favorite teenager needs chocolate therapy." Willow was on her feet again and moving to the boor. "Want anything Baby?"

"Coming right up." Willow grinned and slipped out, closing the door gently behind her.

"It's nothing… just… I've been so mean to you guys and you're still so cool about me coming here and things."

"You were never mean." Tara shook her head and patted for Dawn to move onto the bed beside her. The teenager moved slowly but soon settled, leaning down to rest her head on Tara's lap. Tara ran her fingers through Dawn's long locks as she had seen Buffy do numerous times.

"It was a terrible time, you had just lost your mother, that gives you lots of forgiveness power." Tara smiled down at her. "When my mother died I…" Dawn let her eyes close as Tara continued. She concentrated on the blonde's words and the soothing movement of fingers through her hair. She felt safe and comforted.

She totally understood why Willow had chosen to be with Tara. She was so easy to be with, not that she completely understood the whole lesbian thing, not in detail, but if it was based on how comfortable someone made you feel Tara was an obvious choice.

'And she is pretty.' The thought suddenly struck the teenager, the dark blonde hair and bright blue eyes were so nice. The blonde happened to look down at the same moment and smile. 'And she has a lovely smile.' The teenager agreed with herself again.

"Oh having a bit of Tara sympathy." Willow appeared in the doorway wearing a broad grin.

"Yeah everyone deserves a bit of TLC." Tara smiled back. Dawn didn't move she just turned to look at the redhead.

"Of course and now we have chocolate to add to the pampering." Willow walked in and dropped to the floor in Dawn's old spot, spreading her bounty on the carpet with a rush.

"Sunny I'm joking." Jack's face went into a soft smile. "I think it's cute that you had a crush on Tara, how old were you?"

"No, I'm sorry." Dawn said instantly relaxing again. "Fifteen or so maybe younger."

"Always had a thing for older women eh?" Jack leaned in and kissed her cheek again, moving down to nuzzle her ear.

"Yeah they have so much more, I don't know, to offer." Dawn nodded and gazed lovingly at Jack.

"I can see why you'd have a thing for Tara." Jack looked back at her, soft gray eyes holding Dawn's.

"HAD a thing for Tara." Dawn replied before stopping short. "You can?" She queried letting a little edge creep into her voice for it was obvious to her when she had taken the blonde her herbal tea the day before that a part of her still found the woman breathtaking.

"Yeah, I mean she is a very beautiful woman." Jack had the comment out before she heard the slight quiver of question in Dawn's voice. "I mean in a totally just making an observance way." She tacked on seeing the gloss in Dawn's eyes.

"I know what you mean." Dawn blinked any look from her eyes and then glanced over to her pile of clothes by the bed. "I suppose I really should go and talk to Willow." Her voice was more than non-committal.

"Well Phoenix is all fired up and ready when you are love." Jack ran her hand up cupping Dawn's cheek. "But for the record I still think you are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on." She lent in and kissed her gently.

"Are you sure you don't mind taking me?" Dawn checked as she breathed a light sigh and looked deeply into gray eyes. "And I think you are too." She agreed as their kiss ended. "You know…" She continued thoughtfully as she pulled back the sheet. "I think I never really forgave Willow for letting Tara go." She reached out and pulled her clothes on slowly as she continued to ponder her retrospective thoughts.

"Dawn!" Buffy's voice echoed through the house with an edge of angry authority. "Stop running away and act your age. I want to know what's in that letter."

"Leave me alone." She raced up the stairs, using all of her long legs but still knowing it was futile to try and outrun her sister. "It's my letter. It's addressed to me." She snapped pausing at the top landing for a moment when she saw the Slayer start to race after her.

"Willow just phoned, she's going to be home in a minute, I want this settled before she gets here." Buffy put on a burst of speed as she reached Dawn's door just as her sister was going to close it. "Dawn give it to me."

"It's addressed to me, it's a federal offence to open someone else's mail." Dawn childishly stuck out her tongue, struggling against Slayer strength for a moment to close the door before giving up and retreating to her bed hugging the small yellow envelope to her chest. She hated when Buffy did this to her, made her feel about twelve again. After all she was almost nineteen and she was starting university in the fall, Buffy wasn't her boss anymore.

"You've already opened it, I just want to read it." Buffy walked over and held out her hand. "I told you that if I saw one more notice that you didn't pay those parking tickets I'm going to…" She didn't finish just let her hand hang in the air.

"It's not about the parking tickets. I paid them." Dawn rolled her eyes, slowly relaxing her grip on the envelope. "It's from Tara." Her voice was small.

"Dawn, you shouldn't open Willow's mail." Buffy cursed slightly waving her fingers to urge her sister to hand over the letter.

"It's not too Willow, it's too me." Dawn clarified pulling the letter back out of her sister's reach again. "We've been writing back and forth since…" She hesitated. "Well since a few months after she left."

"How is she?" Buffy sat down on the bed not even having the strength to grill Dawn on the situation. After all it seemed a bit strange that for the last four years Dawn had been receiving pen pal letters from Tara and this was the first she had noticed.

"She's okay, she's moved to Hong Kong for a few months on business. She's at a hotel till she arranges for an apartment." Dawn kept her hand on the envelope but showed Buffy the postmark. "Mostly she's just apologizing for not writing for so long. She has an interior design company. She's really famous in the design world, they did a full spread of a house she did in the New Yorker. Not that you read anything other than Vogue." She felt like rubbing in all the information she had. The vague temptation to go into her desk and show Buffy the stacks of postcards and letters waned quickly when she noticed Buffy wasn't biting.

"Did she mention…" Buffy studied the foreign characters on the original mark. It seemed a little hard to believe the once shy and nervous witch was now conducting business on an international scale. "Willow?"

"She won't talk to me about Willow, she doesn't want me to blame Willow for her leaving Sunnydale." Dawn let the letter fall onto the bed standing up angrily.

The truth was the first time she'd gotten that answer, so carefully written, so carefully worded it had accomplished just the opposite. How could she not hate Willow? After all, it was the redhead's fault that Tara wouldn't step foot in Sunnydale.

"I sent her an invitation to my graduation, but she says she can't come." She moved over to the window looking out at the street and the garden at the front house. It was just beginning to bloom in the growing spring heat. "And we both know the reason why she can't."

"Sunny, anyone could see that." Jack appraised softly sitting up and going over to the closet to pull on fresh clothes.

"They could?" Dawn stopped mid pull and turned back to look at Jack. "Do you think she knows?" She checked somewhat concerned.

"I think she knows you two have something special Sunny." Jack appraised pulling on a tight black T-shirt. "You two have that level thing going. It's cool." She tried to sum up what she didn't really understand but the truth was it was something most of the Scoobies had. Didn't matter if they hadn't seen each other for ages, it was just there. Jack had never had anything like that in her life.

"I used to fancy Xander!" Dawn giggled as she finished dressing and pulled her hair back out of her face securing it with a scrunchie she had in her pocket.

"Anyone else I should worry about you having a crush on?" Jack pulled on a high pair of calf boots grinning. "Anya? Giles?"

"That by the way was such a huge joke, the only one who has ever had a Giles thing is Willow." Dawn objected as she grabbed her jacket.

"Willow and Giles?" Jack screwed up her face and her lover had a good laugh at her distorted features. "Creep factor ninety nine! Come on you sex kitten you." She tossed Dawn's ponytail as she jumped over the bed and sauntered to the stairs.

"Yes..." Jack licked her lips and swaggered her way back standing in front of Dawn. "Miss. Kitty Fantastico the second."

"Rrrarrrr." Jack leaned in and kissed her pulling back still sucking on her bottom lip. "Let's make kittens when we get home."

"Do we have to go at all?" Dawn looked back towards the bed as she slid her hand around Jack's waist. She leaned forward and briefly rested her head against Jack's chest.

"Dawn, you need to talk to Willow." Jack whispered softly slipping her hands around the slightly shorter girl.

"Phoenix awaits." Jack laughed and patted Dawn's butt to prompt her to lead. Dawn deliberately gave a little jump before leading them both out of the apartment to the awaiting motorbike.

"Willow." Tara whispered softly as she moved her head a little nudging closer into the hacker's neck.

"Yes my lovely little priceless teacup?" Willow mumbled sleepily her arms closely around the blonde. Tara giggled and kissed Willow's chin.

"I have something I want to give you." The blonde explained the reason for her disturbing their happy slumber.

"You don't have to give me anything." She objected happily waking up slightly smiling.

"No I know but when I say give you, I mean return to you." Tara moved her leg from between Willow's and moved her arm off her lover's flat stomach.

Tara slipped out of the bed and traveled the short distance to her bag. Unzipping the front pocket she took a small black velvet pouch from within and hurriedly she crossed back to the bed to slip right back into her still warm place.

"You too." She giggled and held Willow tightly for a moment before pulling back and looking at her lover with a gentle smile.

"I took this." She admitted and held out the small pouch, looking between it and Willow. "From your jewelry box. The day I left." She held it forward a little more.

"Open it." Tara nodded towards the object in question. Willow nodded and dropped the contents into her open palm. The small gold cat shaped broach laid in the hackers open hand – the sun sparkling in the green gray eyes.

"Madam Kitty Broach." Willow's face lit up immediately. "You had her?" She smiled at the blonde broadly. "I couldn't figure out where she went."

"I hoped she might be safe with you." Willow shook her head reaching up to cup the blonde's cheek.

"She was safe, I bought her the little pouch." Tara explained before briefly looking down. "I couldn't bare to leave you behind. Not all of you."

"I'm glad she was with you then." Willow leaned down and kissed her ever so gently.

"Or we could?" Willow's cheeks went a little pink as she ran her fingers through the blonde's hair teasing behind her ear.

"Watch TV, start on dinner, do some spells?" Tara looked up through her eyelashes.

"Spells." Willow grinned. "University spells." She clarified her hand going down over the blonde's side slowly.

Jack geared the bike down slowly as she reached the stop line at the red light. She put her feet down to stabilize them as she glanced again in the small left wing mirror. Three cars back, angled far out from behind a beat up Ford was another bike.

Though not as well painted as her flame licked Ninja, it was a good bike, Jack could tell that from a slight glance. She wasn't sure why but something inside her crawled as she looked at the rider's mirrored full head helmet and dark clothes. It was the second rider she'd seen so far on the short journey with the same type of helmet and that in sunny California was an odd occurrence. Most riders went for the open half helmet design, even the full helmets that she and Dawn wore had vented visors to allow for some relief from the blaring heat.

"How you doing?" She patted the arms around her waist as she studied the unknown biker in her mirror.

Dawn briefly pulled her hand from Jack's waist, and drew the fingers of her left hand up into a small circle. She held it up nodding and smiling.

Jack looked back up at the still red light before glancing to the traffic in the oncoming direction. The sight of another rider on an aged but well cared for bike would normally not have made her stop but that the driver also wore the same mirrored in helmet made her freeze inside.

Glancing in her mirror again, she strained to look at the rider's right hand curled around throttle of the bike in anticipation. The dark black tattoo ink that bled into his skin made her realize instantly her sixth sense was right. Trying to look natural she looked up at the light and the rider across the street. Slowly she reached to Dawn's hands at her waist and urged them to grasp tighter.

"Hold on Sunny." She announced just slightly before she urged the racing bike into a quick rubber burning start and tore off into oncoming traffic. Dawn made a slightly surprised sound and gripped onto her lover tighter, briefly glancing over her shoulder wondering what was wrong as Jack raced through traffic at a dangerous pace, weaving and dodging around slower cars.

Dawn's question was soon answered as the two riders Jack had spotted filled the air behind them with angry growling motors as they fought to keep up to Phoenix.

"We have company!" Jack tried to give Dawn some signal as she hopped the bike up onto the curb to avoid traffic stopped at a red light. Dawn nodded against Jack's back and held on even tighter.

Trying to outmaneuvered those following her, Jack took a wide dangerous arc suddenly and crossed over four lanes of stunned oncoming traffic before merging to go westbound. Behind her the scary noise of bike metal skidding helpless against the pavement echoed that at least one of the riders was down.

'Shit!' Jack cursed as she saw one of the original two manage the turn while a third came out of nowhere and joined the chase.

Dawn began an inner mantra to try and keep herself calm. Jack knew what she was doing, she was the best rider she knew, and she would get her home safely. She repeated it over and over her steadily panicking mind.

Jack raced down another street, jumping a small median to briefly drive straight through oncoming traffic before switching into a back alley. She eased the bike into its highest gear, making a quick calculated burn down the straight corridor. Even in her helmet she could hear the echo of the other two bikes coming in behind her.

'Okay let's see what you boys can do.' She thought to herself as she emerged blindly into a busy main street and urged the bike faster as it crossed through the mayhem and into another alley. She hoped that her calculation had been correct and taking a slight alley to the left she shot onto the long metal loading dock of a meat packing plant. Dawn ducked down behind Jack's shoulders and hung on tight.

With the end of the ramp looming in the distance, Jack took a firm grip on the bike. Hammering down the throttle until the engine nearly squealed in strain Phoenix raced down the last hundred feet of the dock before launching the air. Jack's hands and legs held tight to the bike to try and keep them both attached to the now flying machine.

The large chuck of steel fashioned into Jack's custom racing bike seemed to hang in the clouds as it launched out over the lower parking lot. The back wheel barely cleared over the top of a transport truck slopped into the dock below as they began a hard descent to earth. Jack felt Dawn's grip around her waist go almost too tight to breathe though she was glad her lover was holding on as she needed to concentrate on the bike as she geared the engine down slightly bracing for impact.

On the metal walk above the first of her tails balked at the sudden edge, his wheels unable to find traction on the rubber coated metal of the dock as he heavily applied the brake and ended up toppling off the edge without speed or control.

The second biker was smart enough to gear into the move, trying to match Jack's feat.

The flamed Ninja landed with a jolt that send pure pain up into Jack's hips and arms. The painful click of one of her back secondary shocks snapping made her worry the bike was going to collapse underneath her. As the tires hit the earth they bounced for a second before their revolutions caught hold and Jack felt the bike almost jump out from underneath them.

Desperate to keep them on and forgo a long hard slide on the unforgiving pavement she pulled the front end up, going on just the back tire until the inertia of their jump calmed. Slamming the front tire down she ruthlessly twisted the throttle and tore off across the parking lot.

The second rider took to the air obviously a lame duck from the beginning, having not been able to properly accelerate as long as Jack had. The bike's back wheel caught on the roof of the truck below and ejected the rider into a free fall. His landing was hard and unforgiving.

Jack raced out of the parking lot and merged into the midday traffic like a woman possessed. After all she was, she had to keep Dawn safe.

A few panicked miles later, after a lot of backtracking Jack was sure she'd lost them all. She pulled into she suburban side street and slowly moved down it stopping at the curb before the familiar dark house. She flicked down the kickstand as and reached up to the hands around her body when the bike was stable.

"Are you okay?" She flicked up her clear visor, her breathing fast and a bit panicked if she was honest.

"I'm sorry Sunny." She turned a little more in her seat easing off her helmet and resting it on the handle bar as she flicked up Dawn's visor. "I would never do that with you on the back but those guys..." She babbled out a worried explanation.

"I know, I know." Dawn panted trying to explain that she understood, but she realized how green she must look.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Jack undid the clip under Dawn's chin. "You don't look so good."

"Okay come on solid ground will help." Jack offered her hand to help Dawn off the bike first.

Jack quickly followed her to stand on solid ground checking the bike wouldn't teeter over on them as she led Dawn to sit on the small patch of grass by the curb.

"One of them had that tattoo." Jack melted down onto her knees holding Dawn up from behind. "I saw it, saw the other guy and I knew we just had to get the hell out of there."

"I totally trusted you." Dawn tried to reassure her, as she gratefully sank into the grass.

"So you didn't think I was just crazy and reckless?" Jack laughed lightly panicked.

"I know you're those things." Dawn tried a laugh as at long last the world slowed down and her heart slowed also.

"You okay to stand? We should get you inside." Jack brushed down dark hair her heart doing flip-flops of worry.

"Take it easy." Jack put her hands under Dawn's arms helping her up to her feet. Seeing that she was still unsteady Jack kept her hands in place. "We took a good jolt back there."

"Sorry, I guess I'm not used to stunt bike riding, perhaps we should just get inside."

"It's okay love." Jack leaned in and kissed her softly. "You'd have more explaining to do if that didn't take the legs out from under you." She raised her eyebrow trying to make her lover smile.

Dawn did smile, though it was a shaky one. She encouraged Jack forward a little towards the house. The truth was she needed to sit down.

Jack had finally gotten Dawn settled on the living room couch. A cold cloth on her head and the study's trash can next to her in case of emergency.

She could understand totally her lover's uneasy shakiness. After all they had just pitched forward to plummet a good thirty feet out of the air. It had been a risky maneuver but for now all Jack had as consolation was that it had worked.

She'd walked the bike into the garage to hide it in case the thugs who'd chased them had more allies. Finding Willow's jeep still there it seemed odd that the hacker hadn't come to them when they'd arrived.

Nervously she went up the main staircase, her eyes briefly catching a sharp stab of reflected light from the window. She felt stunned by it for a moment before she shook it off and went upstairs.

"Baby?" Tara took a sharp breath as she pushed herself up a little from off the mattress and away from her lover's attention. "Angel…" She spoke this time with a slightly different emphasis and a muffled sound came in response. "Listen." She continued as she pulled back the sheet that covered their bodies.

"No, oh Goddess love no." With a satisfied smile, Tara ran her hand over sweat drenched red hair, she could feel the deep loving heat that coursed trough her body attesting to the fact that it wasn't anything but wonderful. "I thought I heard something." She clarified.

"Hummm I think that was you baby." Willow teased, kissing her lightly in her little haven under the sheet.

"Hello, is anyone in there?" Jack's voice sounded at the closed door to the bedroom. "I'm sorry to interrupt it's just..."

"Jack?" Willow's face went a bight red and almost instantly a pale white as she whispered the name. Tara gave Willow a shocked nod as she looked around to where her clothes were.

"What do we do?" The blonde mouthed to her lover not seeing a way they could get dressed in time.

"Hold on." Willow kissed the soft white flesh of inner thigh one last time and scuffled out the bottom of the sheet and off the bed. "One second Jacqui." Quickly she pulled her robe off the back of the door and handed it to Tara, before going to the closet and hastily pulling on another robe that was pushed into the back forgotten. "All ready?" She turned back to Tara as she pulled on the patterned cotton.

Tara hurried into her robe, and propped herself up in the bed. She nodded her consent pulling the sheet as straight as she could.

"Jack, what's wrong?" Willow pulled the door open to see the tall girl standing there looking a little frazzled.

"Well..." She hesitated looking briefly between the two flushed and robe clad older women. "I'm sorry to interrupt but..." She smiled tightly. "Dawn and I sorta got chased by some riders on the way over here who I an pretty sure had that Anezka tattoo thing." She motioned to her right hand.

"She's shaken..." Jack's voice shook a bit in return. "I sorta had to take evasive maneuvers to get rid of them."

"Where is she?" Willow didn't even want to know what maneuvers the young woman had taken as Jack's illustrious infamy for late night illegal bike racing sent up warning flags in her head.

"Down on the couch." Jack stepped back out of the door slouching a bit under Willow's hard words.

"Are you okay?" Tara looked at Jack carefully as her lover's reaction understandably flared a little.

"Yeah, I'm used to the stunt shit." Jack regretted the words the minute she spoke them.

Willow's body visibly flinched as she moved past Jack into the hall and down the stairs., her footsteps echoing loudly as she hurried down the stairs.

"Jack, why don't you come and sit down." Tara looked up at the dusky blonde and patted the bed beside her gently.

"Yeah, just..." Jack rubbed at her head for a minute trying to think. "I'm a little thrown by the fact I picked up on them being there, I mean I usually don't pay that much attention. I just drive."

"You did just fine Jack, and probably the reason you noticed is because you had Dawn with you, and because you love her, don't you?" Tara reassured gently, the woman's strong heart and devotion was clear to Tara.

"Yeah." The tall girl gave a lopsided grin. "That obvious am I?" Tara just nodded. "People always think I'm this big enigma but I'm not." She shook her head not quite sure why she was babbling. "I guess they see the last name and figure everything's got to be about mystery."

"Then why don't we not bother with what you're not, and you tell me exactly what you are." Tara encouraged.

"I'm Jack." She shrugged lightly. "I've been too tall since as long as I can remember, I have this weird photograph like memory and the moment Dawn Summers walked into my life nothing else mattered."

"Well, 'Jack who's always been too tall'…" Tara smiled gently. "I am more than pleased to meet you and I am more than thankful that Dawn was on that bike with you, and not some hormone novice driver geek of a final year student who would have wrapped her and the bike round a tree."

"Now if you don't mind waiting a few minutes, I will slip along the hall, get dressed and then I'll take you down to the kitchen and make you a nice cup of herbal tea, or a strong coffee which ever you prefer." Tara looked down at the clothes strewn floor and looked up at the tall dusky blonde.

"That would be great." Jack stood up. "But how about I slip down to the kitchen and you can get dressed in peace." She smiled softly. "I'm really sorry for interrupting." Her voice was almost silent.

"I could go all coy and shrug and say interrupted what? But that would be treating you like an imbecile, and I am not like that but don't worry about interrupting, you did the right thing, Willow and I have more than enough time to finish what we were doing." Tara smiled at her softly.

"Good, and if you don't mind me saying..." Jack backed up towards the door. "You two look good together." She nodded and went out into the hall closing the door.

"Oh Goddess Dawn are you all right?" Willow almost flew into the living room when she saw the young woman's prone pale form on the couch.

Dawn looked up blankly for a moment, until she noticed red hair and then instantly her eyes welled up with tears.

"Willow, oh God Willow!" Her bottom lip trembled as hot tears coursed down her face.

"What hurts? Just tell me we'll make it better." Willow sunk down next to the couch on her knees brushing her hand over Dawn's cheek pulling tears into dark hair as she too started to cry.

"I thought I was gonna die." Dawn sobbed, all the restrains she'd tried to secure released quickly as she felt Willow's hand.

"I just wanted to be at home, with you." She sobbed harder as Willow wiped the salty droplets away.

"That's right where I want you." The redhead took Dawn's uninjured hand and hung onto it tightly. "Always, forever, never leave me." She sobbed lightly.

"They were Anezka's men." Dawn tried to calm herself down but knew that it was somewhat pointless.

"I don't care who it was." Willow shook her head. "Are you okay? Where does it hurt?" She started looking Dawn over for injury. "She can't hurt you, not you too." Her mind started to hit a frantic pace. Anezka, Anezka's men chasing Dawn, it just couldn't happen, she couldn't have it, she couldn't loose Dawnie too.

"My arm kinda hurts." Dawn admitted rubbing the injured limb through her jacket. "I had to hold onto Jack so tightly."

She slowly helped Dawn ease her arm out of the tight fitting coat. She ran her hands over the length of it checking for breaks and sore spots. Finding no major breaks, she didn't even realize that she couldn't slow her panicked brain down.

"I'll get dressed, we'll go to the emergency and get it x-rayed. It will be okay, it has to be okay."

For the first time Dawn noticed that Willow was only in a robe as she moved her arm back to herself and stroked it gently.

"I think it's okay." She said slowing her voice down a little of the hysteria dropping out of it. "Just pulled where I hurt it."

"I won't let her hurt you, I promise I won't..." Willow ran her hands over Dawn's arm again and again.

"Willow, Will, it's okay." Dawn's control kicked in as she saw Willow's depart. "Willow, she hasn't hurt me, my arm, it's okay."

"I won't let her hurt you, I promise I won't." Willow's voice was a bit broken by her tears. As she rubbed the area lightly not hearing Dawn's words. "I won't let her get hurt Buffy."

"No, it's not." Willow's voice quaked as she sat back on her legs shaking. Dawn pulled her hand back and withdrew from the redhead.

"Isn't it?" Dawn blinked in Willow's direction her brow lightly creased, their roles reversed faster than either of them could register.

"I won't let her hurt you." Willow tried to calm her breathing as she reached up and cupped the young woman's cheek.

"Anezka could hurt anyone of us Will, it's up to all of us to make sure she doesn't. Jack was great." Dawn kept her words calm, though she had that niggling fear in her head that had existed there since she was very young.

"Was she?" Willow asked the question not doubting Jack but now genuinely wondering what the tall girl had done to save Dawn.

"Dawn, I'm..." Willow lowered her hand and frowned slightly. "I'm sorry for acting like such an ass about her."

"I have a proposition." Willow began softly. "To help me keep you safe, and to help keep you with Jack when you need her." Dawn looked at the redhead with a growing frown. "Do you think Jack would be against moving into the loft?" The redhead saw the deep frown and hoped her next words might erase it.

"What?" Dawn's frown cleared immediately. "Jack move in here? Do you mean it?" There was an edge of excitement to her voice that was barely contained.

"Well if Jack is here you don't have to miss her, and if you are here I don't have to worry and if Jack is here then we are all safe." Willow surmised.

"Dawn, I like Jacqui." Willow smiled softly. "This wasn't about Jack the person, this was about everything but that."

"Have you been talking to Tara?" An element of suspicion crept into Dawn's voice.

"No, she didn't." Willow laughed lightly. "She just let me babble on till I came to my own realization that I was being unfair and that none of this was Jack's fault."

"She really is the best thing that ever happened to me." Dawn's voice grew soft.

"Will you ask her to stay?" Dawn's voice had the childlike quality that it had been devoid of for a long while.

"She's upstairs talking to Tara." Willow smiled. "Don't tell me you thought I turned her into a toad or something?"

"No, I just wondered where she was, is Tara still sick?" Worry returned to Dawn's voice as images from the night before flooded her mind.

"No, she's..." Willow felt a nervous blush creep into her cheeks as she tugged her robe closed a little further.

"She's what?" Dawn turned from looking at the door to looking back at the older woman.

"No, I'm sure you're not." Willow blushed more pushing herself up to stand. "Why don't I make you some tea?"

"No, no, I don't want tea any more." Dawn shook her head suddenly feeling more stable. "When did this happen? What did you say? Oh my God I don't believe this?" She squeaked.

"I said a lot of things, she said a lot of things." Willow sat down on the couch laughing lightly. "And we apologized a lot and then we decided that eight years apart was long enough."

"Dawnie!" Willow laughed as she turned and Dawn caught her up in a bear like squeeze. "One would think you were excited about this?"

"Upset, upset that you're back with Tara? How could I possibly be upset?" Dawn couldn't believe the roller coaster of emotion she raced through.

"I don't know, you've had me to yourself for along time." Willow shrugged smiling slightly. "It means a lot that you approve Dawn."

"Does that mean she'll be moving here?" Dawn asked still terribly excited. "Selling up in Halifax?" She leapt forward a few dozen steps.

"Something will happen yes, we haven't discussed that far." Willow grinned. "We were sorta busy."

"Don't talk inviticus pacificus girl!" Willow stood up laughing. "Did Tara not tell you the spell left a trace that I can read like a book?"

"Oh no, though as it's now been established." Dawn grinned. "Does Jack have to move into the loft?"

"Partially yes." Willow smiled and winked. "Your sister would come down from heaven and kick my butt if I let her move right into your room."

"Buffy." Dawn whispered looking down briefly. "She would be so happy that you and Tara worked things out." She spoke with a heartfelt sigh.

"Can I tell you a secret?" Willow walked back over and sat down on the couch and gently she took Dawn's hand.

"Remember after the fire, when I was in the hospital and your sister wouldn't leave?" Willow rubbed the back of Dawn's hand slightly.

Dawn pushed her way through the heavy metal doors to the hospital nearly blind with panic. She'd been at Jack's, drunk on love and oblivious to the world outside their little sanctuary when everything had shattered in again. They had left the television on in the background, some sad late night romance movie they'd intended to watch but more important things had distracted them.

She didn't know why she'd pulled out of Jack's kiss and looked at the screen, turned her attention to the short Asian newscaster reporting at the scene of a large fire that had broken out in the north forest on the outskirts of the city. The reason had painfully became clear when in the background the image of her sister slightly out of focus came closer and in her arms was a small limp form that Dawn would know anywhere.

The reporter's words were lost as she sat up and focused in on Buffy's soot-covered face and wild eyes. Buffy's voice was lost in the din of sirens but Dawn had made out enough of what was going on as paramedics rushed to take Willow from the Slayer's arms and they disappeared off screen.

"Burn unit." The fresh faced woman snapped to attention and pointed through another set of doors. "Second floor."

As Dawn turned she saw that Jack was already holding them open for her, and she rushed through. Her breath was cold through her lips as she made her way through the winding corridor following the black and white signs. She kept her jaw locked, refusing to let a single tear fall until she knew what was going on.

Turning the corner and the Slayer come into view, still patched in thick black soot and her hair littered with the dead embers of tree bark.

"Buffy?" She spoke her sister's name in lieu of every question, in lieu of every worry.

"Dawn." Buffy seemed to instantly arrive next to her, pulling her into a tight embrace as the blonde's body shook with unshed tears. "She's alive."

"Why is she in the burn unit?" Dawn held her sister tight, looking over Buffy's shoulder to the open glass door and privacy curtain that merely showed her shadows.

Dawn realized with the simple words why her breath felt cold as it was carrying the chilled temperature of her blood that rushed hard and fast out of her head and made the world shift slightly out of focus.

It was three hours before the doctor's learned enough to quantify the startling damage that had been inflicted on the hacker's small body.

"What happened?" Dawn stood at the end of the bed, the sound of the machine pushing pure oxygen into the tent around Willow's body hissing with an eerie resonance through the room.

"Anezka." Buffy cursed the angel's name as she held the hacker's hand tightly. "We got split up in the woods. She was chasing me and suddenly pulled out and by the time I backtracked she had Willow cornered with the fire." She shivered slightly. "There was so much smoke, I could barely find her."

"Giles is here to stay with her, why don't we go home and get some sleep?" Dawn looked out the window at the hard morning light. She didn't want to focus on what her sister was saying, didn't want to truly comprehend how close things had been. She didn't want details, she just wanted all of this to end.

"Get Giles to drive you home." Buffy shook her head, looking briefly up at the readouts on the machine before looking back at Willow's unconscious face. "I'm not leaving her." She finished in a whisper.

"Well after you'd gone home your sister and I had a long talk about a lot of things." Willow took a deep breath. "And one of those conversations was about you."

"Yes, about what a beautiful and intelligent and big hearted woman you'd grown up into." Willow reached up and stroked Dawn's hair. "How Buffy knew your mother was so incredibly proud of you."

Dawn blushed slightly and looked down, feeling her emotions turn once again from being so excited to so profoundly sad.

"How she was so proud of you, how she wanted so much to take credit for who you'd become but she knew she couldn't." Willow kept talking hoping that sharing this with Dawn would not just make her sad but hold something else precious. "But Buffy knew she couldn't Dawn, because the reason you are as lovely as you are is because of you."

"But I'm thoughtless, and selfish and all those other things that Buffy and I used to fight about." Dawn argued. The events of the last few days, weeks even flashed through her mind.

"No Dawn, you not thoughtless or selfish. You just think with your heart not your head. Just like your sister." Willow smiled softly.

"Those things I said this morning, I didn't mean. I don't want you to stop being here for me. I don't want to loose you, ever." Dawn looked up and felt her lower lips tremble slightly.

"You will never loose me Dawn." Willow pulled her close and hugged her tightly. "No matter what happens I will always be with you."

"I have to ask something though." Dawn pulled away slightly and looked at Willow, her eyes gently demanding that the hacker be honest.

"It's not about you or anything, or about Jack moving in, though I have loads of questions about that like when, where can she keep her bike…" Dawn wanted these things to be duly noted.

"Is she okay?" Dawn worded carefully recalling the scene from the night before with vivid clarity.

"In the past Dawn..." Willow took a slight breath. "She was hurt, very badly. She has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder."

"What?" Dawn's face drained a little of color she looked up stunned. "Someone hurt Tara? Why would they do that?"

"Because of the woman she was living with, she owed them money." The hacker tried to explain the best she could, after all she didn't even have all of the details herself.

"Why didn't we know? We would have helped, Buffy would have helped." Dawn tried to be calm but failed she had never even considered that Tara's life had been anything other than okay. Her letters had never even hinted to a bad time.

"Faith was there, she stopped them." Willow held her hand again. "I don't think Tara wanted any of us to know love."

"What did they do to her?" Dawn raised her hand to her mouth and it shook slightly.

"They hurt her, badly." Willow summed up her eyes sad as she frowned hard. "I don't know all of the details yet."

"She's home now though right, they can't hurt her again." Dawn looked up suddenly needing reassurance not feeling any of her twenty-two years old.

"No, they can't hurt her anymore. We won't let that happen." Willow shook her head and held Dawn's hand tight.

"I don't know much about that disorder." Dawn admitted looking at Willow's hand and then up to her eyes.

"There's some books in the study if you want to understand more about PTSD." Willow tried to be helpful and the younger woman nodded.

"With both of us loving her it will." Willow put her arm around Dawn and pulled her close.

Dawn hung her head over Willow's shoulder and held on tight. Not for the first time that day, she wished her sister wasn't dead and the last eight years had simply not happened.

With hands dug deep in the lined front pockets of dark brown leather, Faith walked down the center of the sidewalk. Not paying attention to notice as the other late evening walkers dodged out of her way or clearly crossed the street to retreat from her troubled stare at the pavement as she strode along.

Faith didn't know how exactly but she'd found herself wandering the streets of Sunnydale doing the one thing she wasn't good at, thinking. Her brain was working hard, feverishly and it almost made her feel like she was dying. She had come close to dying before, at the end of the Mayor's knife in Buffy's hand, at the flame filled apartment, in that car wreck in Mexico. But this was not a quick death, it was slow, agonizing and what made it worse is she was doing it to herself.

She'd stood stark still at her bedroom door listening to Tara's conversation with Willow in the kitchen. Heard as the only mention of her name sparked slight anger in the blonde, a slight anger that basically equated to the most rage the blonde ever let herself feel.

After that Faith had dressed and slipped out of the room's window landing in amongst the flowers outside, crushing some of them as she left. At first she wasn't sure what she was doing, possibly just leaving Sunnydale had been her initial reaction but that had quickly been lost. Aimlessly she'd walked the streets thinking. Contemplating even, a foreign and novel occupation for the headstrong slayer.

Glancing up she saw the place that had possibly been her goal all along and pushing open the small door the slight rattle of chimes announcing her arrive seemed a lack luster beginning to the most important night of Faith's life.

"Giles? Fuck please tell me I have the right place." Faith looked around at the carved ornate bookcases that lined the walls, the tables of knickknacks and witchy items.

The English man looked up from his padded chair behind the counter, and did a quick double take.

"Who the hell else does it look like?" She turned around and flipped the lock on the main door and switched the shop sign to 'Closed'. "You and I need to talk.

"You seem to be a good mood Faith. Please come in and sit down." There was a heavy sigh under the watcher's words.

"No, I'm in a pissed off mood." Faith sauntered over and straddled one of the chairs. "I want to know all about the spell." She snorted slightly. "Yeah I know weird concept but hey I feel like I'm having a stroke from all this thinking might as well make it worth it."

"The spell?" Giles walked slowly round the counter and moved to the front of it leaning back against the hard wood when he reached his destination.

"The angel killing spell." Faith bored a whole into him with her eyes, daring him to try and play coy again. "God's wrath, that's what Willow called it."

"Faith what is this about, since when have you been interested in 'mumbo-jumbo'?" Giles refused to be intimidated. He was too old to give in to that look.

"I've been interested in mumbo jumbo since I found out to kill the fucking ugly bitch that murdered B one of us has to die." Faith stood up pulling the chair out of the way. "And since then I've decided one very important thing..." She took a few slow steps towards him. "You wanta know that that is?" Her voice was low and steely.

"Yeah, I think Anezka the bitchface killed Buffy for one good reason." Faith stopped and folded her arms over her chest. "Cause if bitchface is going back to hell it's going to be a slayer that takes her."

"Faith." Giles pulled his glasses off and put it on the counter behind him and shook his head slowly. "I understand what you are saying. But it's not that simple."

"Yes it is." Faith demanded. "I'm a slayer we kill things, you're a watcher you give us slayer's the information to kill things... tell me how to kill her and I kill her."

"No, it's not, I can't tell you how to kill her." The Englishman picked up his glasses again and moved passed the Slayer towards a table located towards the back of the shop.

"Then teach me the spell that will kill her." Faith underlined the part of this she figured he was hung up on.

"Faith if it was as simple as anyone picking up the spell book and reading a few ancient words, don't you think that Willow would be the last person I would allow to do it? For God's sake girl, I'd do it myself if it were that simple." He added with an angry sigh.

"Then what is it?" Faith pushed needing information. Her head was hurting more and more as the impending reality swirled around within it.

He pulled an ancient tomb from a nearby bookshelf and let it drop onto the table.

"It needs to be a spellcaster, trained and channeled." The watcher sunk into a chair and opened the leather cover.

"Red dabbles, since when has see been all trained and channeled and shit?" Faith sat down and began going over the small vaguely English passage.

"'Red' as you still affectionately call her, does a lot more than dabble, she has been training." Giles stressed the word gently.

"Is that how she did the freaky floating black eyed thing at Tara's apartment?" Faith looked up from the text and Giles nodded. "What the fuck she's been doing to do that shit?" She narrowed her eyes at the watcher.

"I don't think I should discuss Willow's business with you." Giles looked up at the dark Slayer.

"No, see that's where you got things wrong." Faith put her hand flat on the table looking at him seriously. "Cause from now on you and I are going to work together and Red is going to live through this."

"I am sorry Faith." Giles closed the book and stood up moving away from the table. "I can't do that." He picked up the tomb and moved to replace it on the shelf.

"You're sorry cause you're letting Willow die when I'm here begging you to help me make the kill?" Faith stood up unable to believe what she was hearing.

"You are the Slayer, I can't let you die." He said simply. "Believe me." He turned. "This is not a personal choice."

"Giles, I die and another one pops up!" Faith bit back at him. "You're a fucking watcher you know that better than anyone."

"And you are a slayer, you have been a slayer for many, many years. You know as well as I do that you die another slayer is activate, an innocent young woman's life is ruined, changed beyond all recognition for your moment of revenge." Giles pushed the book back onto the shelf and fixed the dark Slayer with his tired eyes. "I'm sorry Faith I can't do it." He added exhausted.

"So you'd rather punish and equally innocent young girl who you have to see every day than one you don't know?" Faith growled at him full of rage. "Cause how the hell do you think Dawn is going to take the news when Willow is put down in the ground beside Buffy and her mom?"

For the first time Giles' confidence visibly wavered. He took a slight breath and looked away from Faith.

"There is someone else who could do it." Giles refused to fulfill the Slayer's request.

"Tara is not an option." Her angry voice took on a murderous tone for even having to hear the suggestion.

"No, she..." Faith felt something inside her bruise and crawl away defeated. "She can't, she's too unstable. She can't be trusted to complete the spell." Her voice finished almost silently.

"She may appear fragile..." Giles began unable to believe that Faith was speaking against the blonde witch.

"She has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder." Faith looked up at him hating to have to say this. Hating to have to place Tara in this label, hating how it meant so many things that just shouldn't be true.

"She was attacked, almost killed by a bunch of Mafia tough guys. Long story." Faith tried to get through this as quickly as possible. "When Anezka starts bringing the pain down the only thing Tara is likely to do is curl up in a ball and become paralyzed with fear. We can't trust her to do the spell."

"Don't be sorry Giles, help me fix this." Faith stood up again strongly. "Cause if we let Willow land in that little pine box Dawn won't be the only one vying for a one way ticket to the Looney bin."

"I need time Faith, I need to think about this." Giles kept his eyes on the Slayer.

"Time is the one thing we don't have." Faith's tone was a bit softer. "Cause as you said me doing this isn't going to be easy."

"I know but we must make it, I can't train you to the level you need to be, but there might be another way." Giles scratched his temple slightly.

"How?" Faith pressed a little harshly. "Cause right now I'd sell my soul to the devil if he could give me what I needed."

"Time Faith, I need time." Giles snapped back equally angry. "If I get it wrong, then all of you could die."

"Then do it right." Faith leaned her weight onto one hip. "What do I need to do?"

"Keep everyone calm and out of my way, most of all Willow, she can't know anything about this."

"Faith, I'm not promising anything you must understand this." Giles warned softly.

"I don't want your promise, I just want you to do what you'd do for B. Find me the answer." Faith's voice stayed soft. "Help me save them."

"Faith as you have mentioned Buffy." Giles moved back to the counter. Faith looked at him waiting for him to continue. He fussed around underneath it and pulled out a box, it was about a foot in length made of mahogany, held closed by a brass catch. "I know she would want you to have this."

Slowly Faith undid the slight latch and slid the lid of the long box open. Inside the narrow box, lying on a bed of golden velvet was a short stake, it looked just like any other, but Giles knew that Faith would know differently.

"She put it away a long, long time ago." He said gradually looking back at Faith.

"Mr. Pointy?" Faith wasn't quite prepared for the contents as she held the box almost like a fragile child in her hands. "Why did she put it away?" She asked her voice betraying the hot emotion she felt.

"Because Faith, whether you are ready to believe it or not, Buffy thought the world of you, no matter what had happened between you." Giles' voice was somber.

"She put it away for me?" Faith looked up at him fighting hard to keep her torn and fraying insides together as Giles nodded. "I know you need time." She slowly closed the box not even able to touch the stake inside. "But please find a way." She put the box under her arm.

"Thank you Giles." She whispered moving to the door and slipping out into the night.

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The Letting Go

by The Rainbow Writers

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