Safe In Her Arms

By The Rainbow Writers

Copyright © 2003

kathleen_wolf@yahoo.com

Part Nine

Dawn slipped her school bag over her head and looked around the kitchen nervously.

"Okay so bye!" She yelled to her sister upstairs who was getting ready for work. To her benefit Willow had left a few minutes earlier when their morning program on dolphins had ended.

"Have a good day, I'll see you at dinner." Buffy's voice filtered back down.

Dawn breathe a sigh of relief that her sister wasn't going to be ready for work in time to walk her part way. Not that she'd been happy when she witnessed the Slayer's slow movements, but the cut on her side was healing quickly just like they always did.

'Now to the university.' She thought to herself as she pushed out the backdoor and pulled her bike off the porch.

Tara had found it hard to concentrate in her early morning ethics class. After all she had expected her night to be calm and comfortable curled up in Buffy's safe arms. Instead she'd been back in her shoebox of a dorm room, feeling horrible for upsetting both Willow and Dawn. On top of that she'd bailed on Buffy completely, while the Slayer was injured, and she just couldn't find a way to forgive herself.

"I think they should be returned to Greece don't you Tara?" One of the students who she was walking out of the building with asked for her opinion.

Tara nodded in response as she flicked her long auburn scarf around her neck and walked down the three stairs that led out of the large building.

"But it would mean that the world..." A fellow student countered the argument.

Tara lost interest in the ongoing discussion as she spotted something or rather someone who shouldn't be there. Turning quickly to her friends, she made her apologies and jogged across the lawn approaching the bench from behind. When she had seen the familiar brown haired profile she'd known instantly she was going to be late for her next class.

"Dawnie?" For a moment Tara wondered if anything was wrong with Buffy and her heart leapt into her throat.

"Tara, hi." Dawn turned slightly when she heard the blonde's voice and tucked her wind-tousled hair behind her ear.

"W-W-W-Why… Wh-What are you doing here?" Tara hugged her art history books to her chest as she looked down at the teenager.

"I wanted to apologize." Dawn looked down frowning.

"You don't need to do that." Tara shook her head, causing the wind to catch her free blonde locks and send them blowing over her face.

"I do, because I didn't want you to leave." Dawn's frown grew deeper, it set itself firmly on her face.

"It was better that I did. Did you and Willow enjoy the dolphins?" Tara perched down on the edge of the bench not really knowing why her insides felt vaguely numb and frozen.

"Tara, when I said weird I didn't mean you were weird or Buffy was weird, or even you with Buffy was weird." Dawn looked up at her not answering the question. "It's just I get you and Buffy, or Willow and Buffy, or me with one of you but everyone can hardly make it in the same space anymore." Her frown never broke. "That's weird, in a hard, damn I wish I was older and I understood this, but I'm fourteen and I don't, I don't understand any of it."

"I'm 21 and having a hard enough time." Tara said very gently. "Dawn, I love you and Willow very much." She went on softly. "But I am in love with Buffy and I know that makes things so hard." She took a light breath. "But I can't pretend that it's not true."

"I know it's true." Dawn nodded sincerely. "In a weird way..." She cringed as she used the word. "That's like not the issue at all. Cause I know you love her, way more than anyone else ever did, even Angel I think, regardless of the whole cursed vampire and him trying to kill us." She stopped herself. "You loving her is the easy bit."

"What do you see as the hard bit then?" Tara pushed gently.

"I don't want Willow to think I'm picking sides." Dawn's head dropped again slightly.

"I understand." Tara reached out and gently guided Dawns face higher. "I'm sorry I left you yesterday. It was the easy way out." She apologized softly "And you're worth more than the easy way." She underlined.

"I didn't want you to be mad at Willow either." Dawn looked up. "It wasn't her fault, she was trying so hard to be so cool about it."

"Did Willow think I was mad?" A frown flashed across the blonde face.

"Willow just cried for a bit, it was sorta like when you first left." Dawn swallowed hard. "Then we fell asleep watching the nature channel."

"I'm sorry." Tara apologized again. "I'll find Willow today, speak to her." She outlined her plan.

"I don't think she was mad." Dawn finally answered. "Just disappointed that she didn't do a better job."

"Then I definitely have to see her because she did great." Tara pointed out.

"So you don't hate me?" Dawn checked one last time.

"Remember that chat we had a little while back…" Tara patted Dawn's arm. "The 'Nothing you could do or say would make me hate you' conversation." She named the conversation for reference sake. "Still stands." She smiled. Dawn nodded and her frown dissipated for the first time. "You don't think I'm weird?" She checked with a crooked grin.

"Only when you beat me at Snakes and Ladders." Dawn qualified with a grin.

"I might have won but you ate my candy winnings!" Tara retaliated laughing. Dawn laughed with her for a moment until the joke settled.

"Can you write me a note? I missed first and second period trying to find you." Her request was optimistic.

"Even better why don't I take you in, the cars in the parking lot and we can lock your bike at my dorm." Tara kept her smile.

"I think it's so cool Buffy lets you drive the car around." Dawn grinned and stood up moving her bike so they could go.

"Me too." Tara confided with a wink.

Buffy balanced the large paper bag and tray of drinks in one hand as she knocked on Tara's door. The Wicca pulled it open, a pen tucked behind her ear, a text book in her hand and her eyebrow quirked high.

"You ordered lunch?' Buffy smiled broadly when the obviously studying blonde opened the door.

"Mmmmm smells good." Tara lowered the book and grinned at Buffy.

"That spicy Thai soup you like with a fresh sprout and cucumber sandwich." Buffy nodded as she moved inside and lowered the food down. "And a very thin slice of chocolate cheesecake to share for dessert."

"Wow." Tara stepped back and put her book down moving to the bed she flopped down on it and crossed her legs.

"Well you know I felt bad for scaring you last night with the pitch fork thing." Buffy sat down on the bed.

"So why only a thin slice?" Tara tried not to loose her grin though the memory of the night before still pained her.

"Because I'm getting podgy." Buffy poked her stomach and reached for her drink.

"Where?" Tara raised her eyebrow. "Cause if you are then I'm becoming a public speaker."

"You could easily." The Slayer leaned over. "Hello President Tara." She kissed her lightly.

"You aren't serious about the podgy thing are you?" Tara held her eyes for a moment before kissing her again.

"I'm not." Buffy laughed lightly and kissed her back. "It was the last piece they had."

"Well for that I think I should make you eat it all." Tara smiled. "Because you're getting too thin, where I'm getting all hippy."

"You say that like your hips are a bad thing?" Buffy looked at her seriously. "And I think you should eat it all, because you are getting too thin darling."

"Since when did you steal my name for you?" Tara gave the Slayer a beaming smile.

"Since Xander used it to make a cute joke about us and I realized how much I love it." Buffy admitted.

"You know it took me a week to work out he was poking fun at us, even if it's nice fun." The Wicca nibbled the sandwich.

"Do you want me to tell him to stop it?" Buffy bit into her own sandwich.

"No, it's… you know… nice. Nice that he feels he can though I don't know about you." Tara filled in her thoughts on the subject.

"What about me?" Buffy opened the container with her soup and sipped it.

"Well you seem to be doing all too much grinning and not enough video watching on video cub nights." Tara wrinkled her nose gently.

"Oh!" Buffy blushed realizing she'd been caught. "I just... well you know I don't always get the movies you and Anya pick so I figure I might as well fully appreciate the company."

"Mmmm well all I can say is thank goodness we had the blanket over us last week, you do realize what you hand was doing don't you?" Tara teased finishing off her sandwich.

"It could have been worse." Buffy admitted finishing off the first half of her sandwich as well.

"How?" Tara raised her eyebrows high.

"Good soup." Buffy grinned wickedly while she sipped.

"Buffy." Tara said her voice loaded with comic warning. "You know this week I might just sit with Anya." She teased.

"I would never do that at movie night, well not unless it was only you and me or they'd gone out for more chips." Buffy kept grinning.

"How's the wound?" Tara let the humor die down a little as she met Buffy's eyes.

"It's a lot better." Buffy's voice was softer. "I missed your pampering though."

"I'm sorry things happened that made it impossible for me to stay." Tara said sadly.

"I sorta figure it wasn't me." Buffy nodded. "Do you want to tell me what happened?" She reached out and rubbed her lover's leg lightly.

"Dawnie." Tara whispered.

"Dawnie did or said?" Buffy put her soup and drink on the side and carefully slid in behind Tara to hug her.

"Said." Tara gave the one word answer.

"Said what?" The Slayer settled into their official comfort position.

"That living with me, living with you and me…" Tara clarified. "Was weird."

"Weird?" Buffy questioned confused. "In what way?"

"I'm afraid I didn't stay around long enough to find out last night." Tara admitted. "I heard her and Willow talking when I went down to get your pills. Dawn was saying how unfair it was and how it was better when Willow was there."

"So basically I'm an evil sister who stole you from Willow and makes her life horrible?" Buffy frowned and leaned her chin on Tara's shoulder.

"Or I'm a horrible witch who shouldn't have fussed so much about a silly little spell." Tara sighed and then shook her head.

"You have every right to fuss, you had every right to bean Willow with a two by four." Buffy hugged her a little tighter.

"But I don't think it was really either of those things." Tara slipped her 'sensible' head back on.

"Even Willow knows that, Dawn just doesn't understand everything that went on." Buffy filled in.

"I just think Dawn misses Willow, misses what we had as…" Tara began but stopped herself.

"What you had when I was dead?" Buffy clarified pulling back a little.

"No, Goddess no." Tara turned around staring at Buffy hard as she pushed up from the bed. Quickly she wrapped her arms around her stomach. "How could you even say that?" She frowned harder, backing away from the bed giving Buffy a horrified stare.

"Cause that's when it was." Buffy looked back at her not sure why the blonde was reacting so strongly.

"S-S-S-So you think it'd all be better if you were just dead again?" Tara tried to take the pain from her voice.

"I didn't say that, it's just that the three of you were a happy little family, Willow hadn't totally hurt you and Dawn had everyone huddled around her trying to protect her." Buffy shook her head catching up with the question. "I haven't thought that in along time." She frowned. "I couldn't be with you, be in love with you if I wanted to be dead Tara." She stood up. "I thought you understood that."

"I thought I did too, until you just mentioned it." Tara let her hands release her sides and hang loosely by her body.

"Am I not supposed to mention it?" Buffy's forehead furrowed.

"Would I be horrible if I said no?" Tara couldn't stop the honest question from spilling out of her.

"Oh okay, you'd rather I just pretend none of it every happened." Buffy moved fluidly up to stand and paced towards the door. "That's fine." She added her voice tight. "I have to get back to work."

"I don't want you to pretend it never happened, you couldn't do that Buffy." Tara answered her voice shaky. "But does it have to be the first thing you think of? Because I don't like thinking about it, it's so hard to think about it."

"You think I don't find it hard?" Buffy looked at her lover surprised. "It chokes me sometimes so much I feel like I can't breath. But then I remember that now I have you, I have Dawn, Willow, even Xander and Anya. I remember that I have reasons to be alive. But I can never forget what happened, if I forget that then I loose so much of myself."

"Then please just don't let it be the first thing you think of." Tara pleaded. "I know you can't forget it, I know you can't ignore it but please get this idea out of your head that everything was so great here then, cause it wasn't." She boldly took a few steps towards the Slayer.

"I don't mean to remind you of how hard it was." Buffy felt her anger shy down as she watched Tara's reaction and realized that though things hurt so much for her when she thought about those months she'd been dead, it hurt for everyone else too. "I don't mean to make it harder." Her voice was soft and defeated as she again found herself causing pain to the people she loved.

Not able to stop herself, Tara moved the rest of the way and hugged the Slayer to her. She knew that if the move were unwanted Buffy would be out of her arms before she could even react, but she also knew how difficult it was for Buffy to make the move forward on her own. She was relieved when Buffy only moved to lean into the offered closeness.

"Hard is ok, we can do the hard." Tara tightened her grip kissing down onto Buffy's head. Buffy held on a bit tighter letting the hard feeling of panic tone down inside her. "We can get through this Buffy, all of us, you, me, Dawnie even Willow."

"We have too." Buffy whispered closing her eyes as she curled into the blonde's body.

"It's just going to take time." Tara soothed when she still heard fear and worry in her lover's voice.

"I don't really have to go." Buffy admitted still tucked against Tara.

"I was hoping you would stay." Tara dropped another kiss onto the Slayer's head.

"I want too." Buffy pulled her head back just a little to look in blue eyes with misty hazel ones.

"Good." Tara leaned down placing her lips lightly on Buffy's.

"I'm sorry about..." Buffy kissed her back for a moment. "I won't mention it, well I'll try not too."

"You can mention it, just don't, you know…" Tara shrugged softly knowing she had to give a bit. "Just don't obsess about it." She warned gently.

"I love you." Buffy moved to kiss her again and Tara met Buffy's mouth with willing lips.

The drab room of the community center was typical. Its concrete block walls were painted an aged dull yellow and held bolted bulletin boards with multicolored flyers announcing everything from flu shots to a chess club meeting. The room was filled with only about a half dozen people, more women then men, their ages varying. At the front near the chalkboard, a painfully slim and tiny creature rubbed off the notes from the room's previous occupants. Her movements were slow and deliberate, giving Willow time to appraise her. Her jet-black hair sat long on her shoulders and held the remnant of a slight wave that she'd obviously attempted to blow dry out. Putting down the eraser she dusted off her hands and turned back to survey the crowd with her piercing green eyes.

"Well I think we might as well get started." The woman smoothed out her long dark purple skirt as she took her seat in the circle and slowly crossed her legs. "As everyone knows this is Spellcaster Anonymous. My group name is Iris, so please remember we don't use real names here. Pick a pseudonym for yourself and remember it. This group is for serious spell casters who have found that magic is not the wonderful Disney pleasure or the glamour foretold in fairy tales. If I discover you are here to make fun, get kicks or try to corrupt others into doing magic with you, I will ban you from this group. Any questions?" She looked around at everyone, her pale drawn skin just barely hinted with tiny lines around her eyes as the only proof she wasn't as young as she appeared at first glance. Iris looked from group member to group member.

An elderly man looked down into his hands and nodded a gesture that seemed to contagiously spread around the circle. Within the small pack Willow followed suit her curls bobbing slightly.

"Good." Iris took a slight breath. "Now unbeknownst to new people we give them one 'free' meeting to just sit and listen and then if they come back we do introduction. So you are?" She looked at Willow, her clear sparkling green eyes fixing the redhead in her spot.

"Oh!" Willow made a small noise and looked around for a moment her mind whirling slightly, she'd liked being able to just sit back and watch last time.

"Remember please use a pseudonym." Iris prompted her softly seeing she was uncomfortable with being brought forward in the group.

"Pandora." Willow filled in the first thing that came to her head.

"Pandora." Iris nodded. "Usually the best way we can get to know you is if you answer two questions for us." She saw the others start to appraise 'Pandora' as well. "Please tell us the most successful spell you have ever cast."

"I did a great relocation spell once. It certainly was amazingly successful considering the circumstances." Willow wondered exactly how to answer the question and so she decided to side with caution.

"And the most unsuccessful spell you ever cast?" Iris didn't acknowledge her answer as she carried on to the second question.

As 'Iris' asked the second Willow felt her heart sink deep down in her chest.

"A mind control spell." She whispered looking down.

A younger girl to her left chewed down on her lip making a slight noise in surprise that she tried to cover.

"Why was it the worst?" Iris didn't seem to react again.

"Because…" Willow struggled a little to answer. "I did it to someone, without their permission."

"Mind control spells are usually not done with permission." The girl piped up. "Oh I'm Cinderella by the way." She smiled at Willow.

"Hi." Willow said but she couldn't smile. "It was more the person I did it too." The redhead partially explained her head dropping down again.

"Would it have been a better spell if you did it to anyone other than who you did?" Iris causally jumped on her wording.

"No, no I don't mean that, I mean messing around with a person's mind is wrong, always wrong." Willow replied icily.

"Did it feel good?" A middle-aged woman whose blonde hair was a mess around her shoulder questioned quietly but with great interest.

"Initially yes." Willow admitted. "Not now though." She added sadly.

"Thank you Sabrina." Iris acknowledged the questioner. "And why do you think it no longer feels good?"

"Because." The redhead paused, actually looking up. "It cost me everything."

"Every spell has costs Pandora." Iris appraised uncrossing and then crossing her legs again. "Sometimes we are unaware of the price when we make our purchase."

"I wish I had known." Willow whispered.

"Anyone here realize what magic would cost them before it was too late to turn back?" Iris questioned the group softly and everyone basically found spots on the wall to stare at. "Pandora our questions may sound harsh at times but what we are really trying to achieve here is the ability to look at what we have done, the prices we have paid and quantify how we have and will pay for them the rest of our lives."

Willow didn't know what to say so she just nodded slightly before looking down again onto her lap.

"Did the relocation spell have costs?" Iris tried to get Willow to say something.

"Some really bad headaches and a galore of nose bleeds." Willow answered with a slight shrug.

"I cast a glamour spell for two straight days and ended up in the emergency cause my heart starting missing beats." Cinderella offered Willow.

"Lucifer, why don't you share with Pandora?" Iris looked to the elder gentleman.

"I attempted to summon a luck sprite and ended up infecting myself with a skin poison." Lucifer glared at Iris slightly before looked at Willow. "The doctors couldn't explain it but they managed to stop it before it went above the knee." He tapped his lower left leg and a hollow sound echoed.

"I blew up my ex-boyfriends car." Another member of the group offered.

"Costs come in many forms. Sometimes physical, sometimes spiritual, sometimes emotion and occasionally monetary." Iris summed up. "I lost my partner and my ability to be self sufficient."

Willow swallowed hard and glanced over to the group leader. Iris held Willow's eyes for a moment, the color in them sad before she took a breath.

"So has everyone managed to make the week without casting?" She questioned moving away from the harsh reality.

"Mmmmm Buffy that tickles." Tara wiggled slightly on the bed her bright blue eyes twinkled happily.

"What?" Buffy dipped her lips down again kissing the small of Tara's back. The Wiccan had been laying on her stomach reading and Buffy had only been able to resist the strip of soft skin that was looking at her from between the blonde's shirt and skirt waistband for so long. "Continue reading, I'm just enjoying myself."

"That is your 'I'm a bored slayer' hint?" Tara put down the book and eased herself over onto her side so that her back was now open to the Slayer's exploration.

"Well..." Buffy grinned as she softly pushed the shirt up higher and kissed more skin. "Nothing good on TV."

"Do you want to go out, maybe grab some donuts from that shop you like?" Tara quizzed pushing her hips slightly forward unconsciously in response to Buffy's kissing.

"Mmmm too busy for donuts." Buffy kissed again. "Unless I get to cover you in frosting." She grinned.

"Buffy where exactly is your mind right now?" Tara questioned softly.

"It's embracing my lost poet." Buffy pushed her shirt up further and unclasped her bra to leave Tara's back bare as she kissed over new areas.

"I have massage oil, oh lost poet." Tara glanced over to the dresser.

"Has anyone ever told you that you do the best impression of an innocent girl?" Buffy leaned up and kissed her ear.

"Has any one ever told you do the best impression of an untemptable girl?" Tara replied grinning madly.

"Do I?" Buffy stopped leaning on the blonde slightly.

"No." Tara chuckled.

"Oh come on, you always thought I was like this even when you didn't know I was like this?" Buffy teased.

"I can't say anything to that because it would raise questions as to the nature of my thoughts of you since we met." Tara smiled lovingly.

"You can tell me." Buffy grinned more. "When we first met I didn't think you even could stand me."

"You unnerved me." Tara admitted. "You were so, so amazing, you know, the slayer, plus you knew Willow so much more than me."

"Sorry." Buffy kissed her shoulders. "The whole slayerish intimidation thing is hard to turn off sometimes."

"It's okay, I knew it wasn't the real you pretty soon." Tara explained slipping onto her stomach again.

"When?" Buffy kept questioning as she leaned over and opened the drawer taking out the oil that was tucked near the back. Very deliberately she spread it out onto her hands and warmed it up by rubbing her palms together before she began massaging the blonde's shoulders.

"Pretty soon and come on when you first met me, you didn't even think twice about me. In fact until Willow mentioned me that time Oz came back, did you even know who I was?" Tara leaned her head on her arm relaxing as Buffy began the massage.

"I knew of you." Buffy admitted. "But we're not talking about that." She smiled. "We're talking about you and thoughts of me."

"To be honest." Tara wiggled a little to get more comfortable on her stomach. "You were Buffy, Willow's incredibly pretty best friend, oh and the slayer."

Buffy lifted herself briefly before settling back down over Tara's thighs when the blonde was comfortable as she continued to massage.

"So basically you thought Willow hangs out with pretty girls who can kick demon ass?" Buffy laughed. "Doesn't say much for my impression power."

"Hey what more could a young lesbian want?" The Wicca grinned.

"Well us new fledglings into the sport could be comforted that we were at least appraised." Buffy teased as she worked her strong fingers into hard muscles.

"Mmmm." Tara moaned slightly in appreciation. "The one thing about you and appraising, I have to admit, was Riley. Even if I did get beyond very pretty, very fit, intelligent and funny I ran head long into 'straight'."

"Mmmm well I can see that." Buffy smirked to herself. "But that was only cause you weren't around when Faith was."

"Sh-Sh-She didn't make the best impression on me." Tara admitted remembering her run in with the dark slayer.

"I meant pre-evil streak." Buffy qualified.

"I bet pre-evil, she was still, you know…" Tara paused. "Dominant."

"Very." Buffy nodded as she glanced at the oil bottle and checked before lowering to kiss Tara's skin again as she massaged. The move made Tara chuckle softly.

"I thought you would like raspberry flavor." She soothed.

"You bought this for me?" Buffy questioned the broad smile obvious in her voice.

"Yes." Tara blushed.

"Miss. Maclay!" Buffy leaned down and kissed her lover's neck slowly.

"Yes Miss. Summers?" Tara moved sensually against the mattress.

"You were telling me about your previous thoughts." Buffy whispered to remind her of the topic of their conversation. She licked her lips as the subtle enjoyable raspberry taste registered.

"But then you moved on to exploring your present." Tara countered her voice thick as Buffy began kissing more of her neck.

"I'm still doing that." Buffy reassured as her tongue licked over Tara's shoulder blade. Tara closed her eyes breathing deeper. "But I want to know."

"Know what?" Tara breathed out hard.

"What you thought about me." Buffy kissed down the blonde's spine.

"Well when I saw you for the first time today, I thought… mmmmm Buffy Summers you have amazing hands, and lips, and eyes." Tara moved her hips slightly against the mattress.

"Busy mind." Buffy kissed her way back up her hands massaging deeply into the blonde's lower back.

"Very busy." Tara admitted moaning slightly, she rolled her shoulders and settled into the mattress more.

"So go on." Buffy urged her as she stopped for a moment only to ease the shirt and bra completely off Tara's body. She carefully moved the blonde's hair off to one side before continuing with her attentions.

"Don't you get tired of me telling you how much I think of you?" Tara asked softly.

"You know I don't." Buffy whispered in her ear her hands finally straying slightly to the blonde's sides.

"Just like I don't ever get tired of thinking of you." Tara admitted.

"Please." Buffy asked in a breathy tone as her fingers drew lazy circles on Tara's back and sides.

"Do you want to hear, or feel what I think about you?" Tara asked as she turned to look at Buffy slightly.

"Both." Buffy leaned in and kissed her, as the blonde's mouth became accessible.

Kissing her back for a long moment Tara let her body flood with the warmth of Buffy's love.

"Where should I start?" She whispered breaking their kiss.

"At the beginning." Buffy pulled back before kissing her lightly, barely touching their lips together.

Willow watched as 'Lucifer' picked up his coat from off the chair, walked over to Iris, shook her hand and moved off towards the door. Then slowly she stood up pulling her furry brown hooded coat off the chair pulling it on slowly.

Iris didn't move towards the long slim trench coat that she had left slung over the desk. She seemed content to wait for each person to say goodnight. The procedure soon left her alone in the room with Pandora. It wasn't unusually for the newcomer to be the last to leave.

Willow wasn't sure what she could or indeed should say to the group leader. This week's meeting had been so much harder than the first, everything becoming more real and much more personal.

"It's okay, I know it feels really odd for it all to come to an end." Iris reassured her when they were alone and finally the slim woman moved to put on her coat.

"It's just that I was just beginning to..." Willow looked up as the other woman moved and gave up her sentence.

"Feel uncomfortable enough to just spit it out?" Iris pushed a little as she did up the buttons.

"Yes." Willow admitted.

"Sometimes its better if we pull back, gives you the chance to be honest with yourself." Iris sorted out the deep navy scarf she had with her coat.

"I guess." Willow pulled a pair of gloves from her pockets and slipped them on trying to warm her chilly hands.

"Pandora, why are you here?" Iris stood up straight and for the first time it was painfully obvious that the leader of the group was smaller and tinier than even Willow.

"To find out who I am, what I am." Willow answered softly.

"You already know what you are." Iris looked her up and down. "You're a witch."

"I'm not, not anymore." Willow shook her head.

"I have not cast a spell, not so much a twinkle." Iris wiggled her hand at Willow. "In almost ten years, and I am still a witch Pandora. Once you have tasted what most people refuse to acknowledge, once you have drunk from that dark goblet, you are forever changed by it."

"But I don't want to be, I want to go back to what I was before I did it." Willow knew that she sounded almost like a whining child but she couldn't help it.

"And if you did, if you truly did… Do you not think you would stumble in the dark and break the same things within yourself you have broken this time?" Iris shook her head. "You have come here to find forgiveness Pandora, forgiveness for opening the box. But there is no one here who can forgive you, only you can do that."

Willow inwardly cursed herself for choosing what she thought was an intelligent and cryptic name, but that Iris had obviously seen straight through.

"I don't know if I can." She admitted.

"Then it's best you admit that to yourself as soon as possible and scrape together what you can to move forward." Iris began packing things into her soft-sided briefcase.

"Is that what this group enabled you to do? Forgive yourself?" Willow asked looking at Iris' back as she tidied.

"I don't come here for forgiveness." Iris shook her head, looping the strap over her shoulder.

"Then for what?" Willow asked slightly confused.

"I come her to remember exactly what I have done and how I can never take that back. Remember what a coward I was, what a manipulator, I come to remember the power and then I go home to remember how horrible life is without it." Iris demanded Willow hold her eyes. "While you took a sip little one, I held the chalice in both hands and drank till I was full. So don't look to me to offer you forgiveness, I have none for you or myself in our foolish choices."

Willow opened her mouth to say something but nothing came.

"Ready?" A bright voice called from the suddenly open door.

"Yes, sorry." Iris turned to the young woman in the doorway. It was obvious from first glance they were related.

The other woman's hair was much shorter, cut to frame around her face, though she was slightly taller and her eyes held a different shade of green.

"I was just making sure that Pandora was coming back to join us next week."

She looked briefly back Willow. Willow caught the green eyes and nodded that she was.

"Looks like a yes to me." The younger woman at the door commented.

"Good." Iris acknowledged before moving to the door, there was a tentativeness and frailty in her steps.

"You okay sis?" The other woman's voice changed as she directly addressed Iris, it became more soothing and soft. She reached out a hand towards the frail woman.

"Tired." Iris took a small breath as she took the offered hand and let herself be guided through the door by the taller and overall stronger looking woman.

Willow watched with an almost morbid fascination as the pair disappeared. Then suddenly feeling chilled to the bone she moved out into the hall to the pay phone to call a cab.

Dawn looped her arm through Buffy's as the pair strolled through the busy mall. It seemed an easy way to get through the throngs of other shoppers who were busily moving past them. With only a few days left before Valentine's Day it was obvious that those who had left their gift buying to the last moment were out in full force desperate to find that perfect gift. She hadn't been surprised to find her sister among them, and immediately dragged her to the Galleria. She also had the secret hope she could convince the Slayer into getting her the flared hip huggers that were on sale in one of the smaller shops.

"So what are you going to get her?" The teenager asked as she looked through shop windows they passed.

"I have no idea." Buffy frowned slightly as they passed the shops. "Flowers?" She fielded the idea.

"Are you for real?" Dawn raised her eyebrows high.

"What? She likes flowers." Buffy defended herself.

"Yeah I am sure she does, but aren't flowers like the thing you buy her all the time?" The teenager chided.

"Chocolate?" Buffy tried again.

"Hello modern life to Buffy. You'll be suggesting a stuffed bunny next." Dawn laughed and shook her head.

"What's wrong with a nice fluffy bear?" Buffy glared at her a little.

Suddenly Dawn pulled her arm out of Buffy's and ran over to a shop window pointing.

"How about this?" She beckoned Buffy over to the shop window as she pointed out the lacy underwear filling the window.

"DAWN!" Buffy turned around. "I am not buying her lingerie!" She shook her head. "Especially not when it's my teenage sister suggesting it."

"What? Like I'm not supposed to know you two are completely into each other." Dawn looked innocently at her older sister.

"Not in a lacy bra set kinda way." Buffy felt herself going a hotter shade of red.

"Want me to go have a milkshake so you can look by yourself?" Dawn offered loving her new ability to embarrass her sister.

"Dawn, I don't think I'm the buy a bra kinda girlfriend." Buffy coughed slightly. "I wouldn't even know what size she was."

"For real?" Dawn stared at her sister. "You don't know Tara's bra size?"

"Dawn, I know you are like super cool with the whole thing." Buffy pulled her away from the window to the railing on the far side of the walkway. "But I don't know if lacy lingerie is quite me on our first Valentines Day."

"I know what she's got you." Dawn teased gently.

"What?" Buffy pushed instantly biting.

"Oh like I'm going to tell you." Dawn sniggered.

"Is it lacy?" Buffy questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"She bought it from this mall." The teenager drip-fed the information.

"Dawn!" Buffy groaned. "Please, just tell me does it qualify as lingerie." She could hardly believe she was having this conversation with her sister.

"Not lingerie as such." Dawn twirled her hair around her finger.

"When exactly did you get so cool about my romantic life?" Buffy asked her seriously and, probably for the first time, the question wasn't condescending just curious.

"Hello, you're dating Tara, she's like the coolest thing." Dawn replied with a shrug. She put her hand in her pocket looking around at the passing crowds.

"Yeah but..." Buffy pointed out slowly.

"But what?" Dawn looked at Buffy with a frown.

"Dawn, it's just you know. I want to make sure that you're okay with all of this. I worry." Buffy explained.

"I'm cool." Dawn said honestly. "But if you hurt her, or let bad stuff happen to her, I'll never forgive you. I mean it." She added her humor suddenly gone.

"Thank you." Buffy smiled as she leaned in and hugged her sister.

"I just want you to be happy." Dawn said with another shrug. "Well, actually I want us all to be happy."

"So do I Dawn." Buffy pulled back. "I'm sorry for being such an idiot lately, but I am going to do better. I promise. So anything we need to pick up for your special valentine?" The Slayer offered casually glancing back at the lingerie shop.

"I bought it yesterday with Tara." Dawn explained.

"Oh." Buffy felt herself stall for a second. "Do I even get to know who and what?"

"A boy, just a boy." Dawn went a little shy.

"Whose name is?" Buffy smiled. "Or is Justa his first name and Boy the last?"

"You're funny." Dawn quipped.

"Well you know all about my love life. I want spillage." Buffy linked their arms together again.

"His names Elliot." Dawn admitted.

"And?" Buffy glanced in the windows as they went along.

"And before you ask yes he's in the grade above me." The teenager gave the information reluctantly.

"Only one grade?" The Slayer checked.

"Yes." Dawn nodded.

"That's okay." She conceded. "No seniors!" She warned gently. "What's he like? How come you haven't brought him over?"

"Tara's older than you!" Dawn put in cheekily. "We're not like dating, I just you know, watch from a far."

"What did you get him?" Buffy nodded that she understood.

"Just a card and this candy heart thing." Dawn shrugged.

"You want invite him over? We could watch movies." Buffy offered. "Well you and he could watch movies while I putter around like Mom would have making sure where his hands are." She teased with a smile.

"We'll see." Dawn shrugged.

"What about a necklace?" Buffy spotted a jewelry shop.

"Like you said…" Dawn shook her head. "Go for flowers, chocolates and a teddy bear, it's your first Valentines after all."

"No, I don't want to be all predictable." Buffy stopped looking at her sister. "And Tara's special, she deserves a lot more than just cheesy flowers and candy."

"Maybe she wouldn't see it as predictable or cheesy." Dawn reasoned. "You know so much in Tara's life is slightly wacky and not normal."

"I just don't know." Buffy sighed. "Want to get some lunch?"

"Yes, point of starvation here." Dawn grinned and pointed to her stomach.

"Come on then, can't have you starving." Buffy laughed and they headed towards the food court.

Buffy finished her salad and watched Dawn demolish the last of her Chinese food.

"Should we get something for Willow?" Buffy questioned as she sipped on her iced tea.

"For Valentines?" Dawn pushed away her plate and picked up her fortune cookie pulling open the plastic wrap.

"Yeah, in a friendly way." Buffy explained.

"From you and I?" Dawn pushed for more elaboration on Buffy's thoughts

"Yes." Buffy nodded watching her meticulous procedure. "You know big stuffed animal and some chocolates."

"We could look, see if anywhere have any Valentines for friend's cards, and maybe get her some mocha powder." Dawn hedged on the side of caution.

"Very cool." Buffy nodded. "And maybe that book she wanted, by that physics guy."

"Good idea." Dawn snapped the cookie open and pulled out the small bit of paper. "I got you one of these too." She slid the cookie over.

"Really?" Buffy laughed and took the cookie, tearing off the plastic and snapping hers open. "What does yours say?"

"Fortune should be earned not wished for." Dawn laughed as she tossed the slip of paper on the plate. "Yours?"

"The instinct of the heart often is best weighed heavier than the wisdom of the mind." Buffy smiled. "Want switch?" She laughed.

"We should go and raid the place for better ones." Dawn giggled.

"Yeah I want one that tells me what to get..." Buffy was about to add her wish when a shadow fell over the table.

"Hey Dawn." A tall blonde haired tanned boy towered over them, his red-letter jacket sitting full on his broad shoulders.

"Oh Elliot, hi." Dawn squeaked sitting up straight in her chair and flicking her long hair casually over her shoulder.

"Hey." He looked at Buffy and gave her a slight smile.

"Hi." Buffy smiled back and tried to find somewhere else to look.

"This is my sister Buffy." Dawn explained blinking her large brown eyes up at the young man.

"Hey." He nodded again before looking back to Dawn. "I figured I'd come over and say hey."

"I, I didn't see you in here." Dawn flustered a little.

"Rick and I just got here. A bunch of us were going to hook up and watch a movie." He nodded back towards a table full of people.

"Great. I'm just doing some, you know, shopping, with my sister." She floundered a little.

"Cool." He nodded briefly at Buffy.

"Well I just have to get Willow's book, if you want to hang out and go to the movies." Buffy jumped in and tried not to yelp when Dawn kicked her under the table.

"Have you seen Collateral Damage? That's what we're gonna see, not really a chick-flick but it should be cool." Elliot didn't notice the attack under the table as he followed along with Buffy's suggestion.

"Sounds great, if you're sure?" Dawn checked with Buffy.

"Have fun." Buffy smiled. "Do you need money?" She questioned softly.

"No, I got it Buffy." Elliot stood a bit taller.

"I won't be late." Dawn stressed as she stood up nearly stumbling on the chair.

"Please have her home by ten Elliot, it is a school night." Buffy winked at the broad young man who nodded back.

"See you then Buffy." Dawn crossed over and hugged Buffy's shoulders. "See what I mean dreamy." She whispered.

"Totally." She whispered in return grinning for her sister.

"See you at eleven!" She called as she moved along side of Elliot.

"Ten, I SAID TEN DAWN!" Buffy called after her sister shaking her head.

"I think I'm giving the annual Valentines dance a no vote Danielle." Willow pulled her bag off her shoulder as she settled into the lecture chair. She pulled out her note pad, then her blue and red pens placing them into the pen rest.

"But it'll be fun, no one whose actually with anyone will be there." Danielle settled in next to her and pulled out her clipboard and pen.

"I'm busy actually." The redhead explained drawing a little flower at the top of her paper with the red pen, and then the date in the blue.

"Doing what?" Danielle pushed as she wrote the date and lecture on the top of hers.

"Out with some friends, some non school friends." She made the fact clear.

"Okay, subject is divided to no remainder." Danielle joked. "Did you do the reading?"

"I always do the reading." Willow chuckled.

"Yeah but did you do the supplement? Cause it took me three hours to do question five." Danielle reached in and took out sheets of solved problems.

"I..." Willow began to reply.

"Hi everyone, sorry I'm late." A petite woman entered the room in a whirlwind of leather coat tails and papers.

The redhead turned from her friend to look down at the lecturer.

"Dr. Linctuses called me at the last minute to ask me to fill in and I rushed over." She started settling her stuff down at the front. "I see a few familiar faces, but for those of you who don't know me I'm Dr. Heather Glaive." She slipped her coat off her thin petite frame.

On automatic Willow wrote the woman's name at the top of her page, though her eyes never left the young lecturer.

"I'm not totally up to speed on where you are, I normally focus on advanced applied Calculus classes so supplementary physics algorithms might be a rusty area for me but I'm sure we can work together to get through." Heather brushed her short midnight black hair off her forehead.

Willow watched as the dark haired woman set herself up and made her introductory speech but Willow knew she wasn't listening.

"So have any issues arisen from the homework?" She began and took an immediate response from a young man in the front.

It had taken Willow approximately ten minutes of the class to work out where and why she knew the young lecturer who was delivering the animated lecture. The fact that she remembered was just the start of her problem. She'd come to realize that Dr. Heather Glaive was Iris' sister, Iris leader of her Spellcaster Anonymous group and the same young woman who had picked up her group leader after the meeting the week before.

Willow's first reaction was to get up and leave, worried that the lecturer would also make the connection. She then calmed herself down enough to work out that standing up and leaving in the middle of the class would draw even more unwanted attention.

She quickly moved to plan B which was taking notes with her clipboard and notebook held more or less up right. Of course her trusty blue pen had objected to that one by refusing to work after the first few lines. So she moved to plan C leaning forward on the chair rest and never glancing up.

By the time she'd run out of idea's it was the end of the lecture and she had to honestly admit she had no idea what Dr. Glaive had spoke on for the last hour. Secondly, she had nothing but a few scratchy words on her blank paper, and lastly she had no idea where they were in the 'homework' recap they were now doing.

"So since we already know the value of Z, then X is simply the remainder of our constant to the power of Z." Heather turned away from the blackboard that was covered in stages of the mathematical problem. "Any other questions?" She looked around and everyone shook their heads as they packed up. "I suggest pages 87 and 88 as review of the concept and the corresponding questions in the chapter review."

"Did you get any of that?" Danielle poked Willow a bit shell-shocked. "She was amazing, just like this then that then wow. She so knows her stuff."

"I think I'll need to reread my notes." Willow quickly flipped her note pad closed.

"I got to rush to meet Kino. See you tomorrow in physics?" Danielle quickly packed up her stuff.

"Oh yeah, right." Willow stayed in her seat as her friend moved in a blur of activity.

Down at the front of the room Heather packed up her stuff slowly and moved to erase the erratic mess she'd made on the board.

Before Willow knew it the lecture hall was more or less empty, well empty except for Heather and her. In a sudden panic Willow got up knocking her pen off the rest.

"Did you have a question?" Dr. Glaive looked up at the noise.

"A question?" Willow squeaked looking down with the cover of looking for her pen.

Heather focused on the last student in the room and with a brief blink her face flashed with recognition.

"Hi, this is a surprise I bet." She smiled. "I question about the problem." She asked again as she watched Willow packing up her stuff.

"Oh the problem, no, no question." Willow realized there was little point in behaving as she was. She stood up slowly and shouldered her bag. "It's a bit of a surprise yeah." She added playing with her recently rescued pen.

"I guess this is when I ask you not to spread around to the faculty that my sister is an ex-witch?" Heather softened her smile.

"I don't think its something I would mention." Willow managed a slightly nervous smile too. "Is Iris okay?"

"Iris?" Heather seemed to stumble for a minute. "Oh Hannah, yeah she's okay. She gets tired on the nights she goes to your meetings."

"I don't think I'm supposed to know her real name." Willow blushed slightly. "So I'll pretend I didn't hear." She gave the lecturer a classic Willow smile.

"Can you tell I'm not the covert one in the family?" She shook her head as she blushed slightly at her error.

"Probably never had things to hide." Willow hoped that sounded like a positive statement not a bad one.

"Well I wouldn't go that far..." Heather conceded. "But I'm sorta the 'here I am, take me or leave me' type."

"I suppose I should be going, I have a class." Willow glanced to the door but for some reason she wasn't eager to leave.

"Yes, sorry." Heather laughed softly. "I'd keep you here all day making sure all of what I just babbled on about made sense."

"Actually I kinda missed the lecture." Willow admitted glancing down slightly. "Seeing you made me feel a bit, you know, edgy."

"Now I'm so sorry." Heather leaned against the desk. "I would never mention it to anyone. I mean I know how private Hannah likes to keep her past and I'm not about to out a witch."

"I'm not a witch, not anymore." Willow stressed quickly but as she did so Iris' words echoed in her ears. "Once you have tasted what most people refuse to acknowledge, once you have drunk from that dark goblet, you are forever changed by it."

"Good for you, it's so hard." Heather nodded her voice soft and understanding.

"You're a lot younger than your sister aren't you?" Willow said suddenly unsure where the question had come from.

"Nine years." Heather filled in.

"You must be proud of her, doing what she does for us all." Willow waffled.

"I am glad she's found a way to channel all the things she has experienced into help for others." Heather's answer was very succinct.

"I'm sorry I guess I shouldn't talk about this." Willow shrugged apologetically.

"No, it's fine... Pandora." She hesitated knowing it was the only name she had for the redhead before her. "It's just... Hannah didn't give up magic for good reasons."

"Willow." Willow offered her own name without thinking. "She mentioned that her magic use caused her to loose her partner. I guessed it wasn't good. I'm taking it her partner couldn't forgive her for whatever it was." She made the observation.

"Willow..." Heather looked up green eyes holding green. "Molly is dead." She answered simply not sure why she felt the need to be so honest with the young woman.

"Oh God I'm sorry." Pain laced through Willow's chest for some unknown reason the redhead's thoughts hadn't once even considered that Iris had meant her partner was dead. "I thought…" She began to explain but stopped when she realized she had no explanation.

"It's not information that Hannah readily gives out, and before you think something horrible she didn't kill her." Heather fumbled trying to explain as she realized how misinterpreted the words could be. "Drunk driver."

"Oh right." Willow could breathe a bit easier instantly. "How horrible." She added realizing that it actually made it no better how the woman had died.

"I should have probably let Hannah explain all this to you..." Heather took a slight breath realizing she'd pretty much already dug herself the hole. "The magical problem came when Hannah couldn't let her go, and she brought her back." She said the words quietly waiting for Willow's look of horror or disbelief.

"She resurrected her?" Willow stated without any extreme reaction.

"Yes." Heather nodded.

"Bad news." Willow glanced down.

"Tell me if I'm wrong here but I'm getting the 'has been there done that' vibe off you?' The dark haired girl questioned without contempt in her voice, only curiosity.

"Yeah, could be because I have." Willow admitted before she could check herself.

"Nothing quite like seeing someone you love turned into a mindless soulless zombie to turn you off magic." Heather's voice held contempt for the first time as she shivered.

"Well it wasn't quite like that." Willow frowned a little as Heather's tone changed, worried about the distress that the topic obviously caused the lecturer. "But I imagine that's a dreadful thing to have happen." She added quickly.

"Did you have time to get coffee and talk about this?" The professor asked point blank.

"Yes." Willow said without thinking.

"I mean we're talking around what went on and it's probably easier if we just spit it out right?" She smiled softly.

"Right." Willow agreed. "Can I push for off campus?" She added as she watched Heather pick up her bag

"As you wish." Heather nodded moving with her towards the door.

Heather cupped her hands around the warmth of her ginger tea and watched as Willow nervously stirred her mocha.

"I'm sorry if I blurted out a lot back there." Heather started slowly. "Just other than Hannah it's not something I can talk about with a lot of people."

"You can talk to me." Willow offered openly. "That is…" She hesitated. "I'm not sure if Hannah, Iris would mind." She frowned slightly. She really did want to hear what Heather had to say about a story of magic addiction told by someone other than the addict.

"You'd figure it out sooner or later for the bits that Hannah does say." Heather shook her head. "And as long as I tell her and it's not out there to blindside her Hannah won't mind. It doesn't change what happened."

"So what did happen?" Willow asked softly.

"Hannah had already gone pretty far into the dark magicks by the time Molly was killed." Heather skipped the painful basics, the parts that mostly included her. "She had been given apprentice in a very exclusive coven to help her control and expand her powers, it was cause of that she was able to find out how to resurrect her."

"It's not an openly known thing." Willow agreed. "You say she was already into dark magicks, when was Molly killed?" The redhead asked not sure if she should push but wanting to know details.

"Eleven years ago." Heather fluidly answered the questions as she sipped at her tea. "Hannah started doing magicks when she was in her middle teens. Our Father... well let's just say he was a spare the rod spoil the child man and Hannah had enough. She's not big enough to fight back so she found another way."

For a sickening moment Willow thought briefly of Tara and the childhood she had had to endure once again struck by the blonde's purity. Never once had she mentioned even being tempted into dabbling in dark magicks. But then as she glanced at the dark haired woman opposite her thoughts turned again to Hannah and Heather's past.

"But you never…" Willow asked softly.

"When I was younger Hannah refused to have me near any of it and by the time I was fifteen I saw what it had done to her and Molly and I wanted nothing to do with it." Heather shook her head.

"You were fifteen when Molly died?" Willow checked, suddenly quite shocked that that must mean Hannah was thirty-five.

"I'd just turned fifteen." Heather confirmed. "It was late on a Saturday and we were in the front yard watering the grass. There was a horrible heat wave when this big sedan jumped the curb and hit us. Molly was dead before the ambulance came."

"You were there?" Willow was further horrified.

"I had my arm broke." She turned her head to show a long faded scar that ran down from behind her ear to her neck. "Piece of metal from the bumper."

"I'm sorry." Willow's apology was heart felt. "And Hannah?" She asked wondering what injuries the spellcaster had suffered if any.

"Spilt iced tea, she was on the porch out of harms way." Heather filled in softly seeing the scene again like it was only moments before.

Willow too found an image printed in her mind that pained her instantly.

"When did she resurrect her?" She asked wanting to get this conversation done so she could stop asking such questions of the other woman.

"About three months later." Heather put her cup down. "As you know it's not easy getting the ingredients and the right lunar cycle and blah blah blah." She added the last bit trying to show only the details was lost on her.

"What happened?" Willow whispered her morbid curiosity driving her on.

"She came back." The dark girl's voice was thick with sadness. "She came back and for the first few days Hannah tried to convince me and herself that it was just the transition, it was just the catch up from the spell. But it wasn't, she wasn't Molly, she was dead inside, she was just a body moving around, there was no spirit, no laughter, and no life."

"Not right." Willow put in.

"Not right at all." Heather looked at Willow confirming what the redhead was saying. "When someone dies their spirit rejoins the universe, the energy disperses and you can't gather it all back, there is no way to do that."

"What did Hannah do about it?" Willow asked quietly.

"Hannah did nothing, her coven cleaned up the mess and put Molly to rest again." The brunette shivered.

"You had to loose her twice?" Willow's voice was deeply saddened.

"Yes." The other woman frowned. "And a large part of my sister."

"That must have been so hard." Willow gave Heather her heart-felt sympathy.

"It was. I had to become the adult, the one in charge, for a few years she couldn't even leave the house." Heather bit her lip feeling the deep sadness that lurked inside her.

"What about your parents?" Willow had to ask it didn't seem fair that her sister's care should fall onto the shoulders of a child.

"My Mother left us when we were very young." Heather shrugged. "Dad left when Hannah starting using the magic on him, that wasn't a bad thing mind you." She defended. "It's always really just been Hannah and me."

"You must hate magic." Willow made the observation almost casually.

"Magic didn't do this Willow, magic has existed for forever. Hannah used magic just as much as it used her, that she didn't want to listen to the warnings wasn't the fault of the magic." Heather shook her head sadly.

"You're right." Willow admitted.

"Who did you bring back?" Heather swayed softly into the question.

"My best friend." Willow replied. "But it's not the same." She stressed. "She wasn't really dead. Well she was, but she shouldn't have been."

"Did she come back wrong?" Heather's voice went almost silent. "How did she sorta die?" There was no hint of humor in her wording.

"It's sort of hard to explain." Willow didn't want to be cagey but she also didn't know how to answer.

"Well sorta die would suggest non-traditional means." Heather encouraged. "Magic accident? Was she a witch too?"

"She's not a witch no." Willow replied.

"Whatever it was if she didn't come back wrong, it wasn't her time to die." Heather summed up.

"I never thought about that." Willow admitted pushing away her mocha cup.

"Never thought about what?" Heather questioned softly.

"Oh nothing really." Though it was obvious that Willow was in deep thought. "It's just that since we did it, I've wondered about it being wrong, but you're right, it couldn't be wrong, not really because if it was, she wouldn't be her, and she is, I just didn't appreciate that."

"Trust me Willow, if she was wrong, you'd have known it from the first minute you saw her." Heather shivered.

"I'm sorry we shouldn't talk about this, it obviously hurts you so much." Willow apologized softly.

"No..." Heather reached out and put her hand over Willow's. "It's okay, I mean it hurts but I can see you've been through this. It's not the whole; wow your sister raised the dead shock thing."

"Believe me my life is not exactly normal, finding out things like that don't shock me so much as concern me." Willow tried to express how she felt.

"It's so nice to find someone to talk to." Heather smiled softly.

"I can listen, I listen well." Willow smiled feeling herself relax.

Part Ten

Buffy let out a slow breath as she shifted her legs out from her cross-legged position. The tiling of the floor was chilly under her butt, and the wall at her back was getting more uncomfortable by the minute. It was one of those times she wished she wore a watch, because even though she had gotten to Tara's dorm a bit earlier than they'd planned an eon had gone by and there was still no sign of the Wicca.

"Hi, you wouldn't be Buffy would you?" A tall dark haired male student looked down at the Slayer with a smile.

"Yeah, why?" Buffy looked up at the voice that addressed her.

"You're waiting for Tara?" He asked.

"I am." Buffy pushed up nervously suddenly very afraid something had happened.

"I think you'd better come with me."

"What's going on?" She rushed after him as he turned.

Keeping slightly ahead of the blonde the young man led Buffy around the corridors of the large dorm building. They soon made there way to the front exit and without hesitation he continued to lead her outside and across the campus.

"Hey buddy why don't you tell me what's going on?" Buffy clutched the bag she was carrying and walked quicker to pull up even with him.

"I was just told to come and find you." He replied over his shoulder.

"Told by who?" She narrowed her eyes at him.

"By..." He eased them to a stop as they breeched the high walls of the rose garden hidden on the grounds of the university.

"Me." A voice Buffy knew so well finished for him.

"Tara?" Buffy turned to the voice almost expecting to see her surrounded by vampires or other nasty creatures. The blonde Wicca was sat on a large chequered blanket, which was surrounded by small flickering candle lamps.

"Are you okay?" Buffy looked back to find her mysterious guide had disappeared. "I was worried."

"I am now." She patted the blanket urging Buffy to sit down with her.

Buffy didn't seem to drop out of slayer mode as she surveyed the area. She slowly moved over and sat down.

"Not exactly the reaction I was looking for." Tara admitted as she flicked her hair over her shoulder and reached for the neatly packed wicker basket that was just beside her.

"Well you know ominous 'come with me' usually means some big bad has kidnapped the woman I love." Buffy explained as she took one last look around and finally came to realize the romantic set up that Tara had prepared. "Hi." Her strong exterior dropped away and she smiled brightly.

"Hi." Tara smiled back knowing now she had Buffy's full attention.

"Wow." Buffy explained softly.

"Happy Valentines." Tara said quietly pulling two glasses from the basket

"Happy Valentines day." Buffy reprised the words in a loving voice.

"I got apple juice, but it's the same color as champagne." Tara explained as she set the glasses down and pull the bottle of apple juice out showing the Slayer the color similarity.

"Perfect." Buffy nodded. "Especially since you don't drink and post the kitten poker night neither do I."

"I have muffins too." Tara smiled softly.

"You should have told me I could have brought something." Buffy smiled too, remembering their first attempt to have muffins.

"There's only muffins and apple juice. It was going to be coffee, you know to remember that night," Tara blushed slightly. "But like I said once, my coffee, really bad."

"It's perfect." Buffy took her apple juice smiling broadly. "And this place is gorgeous, I didn't even know it was on campus."

"It's part of the chapel really." Tara pointed to the small building in the distance as she sipped at her drink and pulled the muffins out of the basket.

"Beautiful." Buffy looked at the building for a moment. "And the flowers are lovely too." She looked at Tara.

"I wanted it right." Tara asserted.

"It's perfect." Buffy assured her reaching out to put her hand over the Wiccan's.

"You look great." The blonde smiled over to Buffy as she put down her apple juice.

"Well I wanted to..." Buffy looked down to her tight white spandex shirt, which was covered by a see through over layered button down also in white and long beige suede skirt. "To look nice." She blushed a little.

"You managed." Tara tucked her hair behind her ears and tuned the hand under Buffy's over to enlace their fingers as usual.

"And you look gorgeous." Buffy appraised the deep red peasant shirt and flowing navy linen pants Tara wore.

"Thank you." Tara whispered.

"No, thank you." Buffy chimed their glasses together softly.

"So tell me about your week since I last saw you." The Wicca asked as she sat forward relaxing in her lover's presence.

"Well Dawn and I went shopping." Buffy leaned down a bit but kept their hands together her thumb rubbing over Tara's soft skin. "Then she deserted me to go to the movies with Elliot."

"Oh Elliot, what's he like?" Tara almost giggled with curiosity.

"Tall and broad." Buffy laughed lightly with her. "Sorta surfer dude to the max." She grinned remembering his slim vocabulary.

"But does he look like a 'nice' boy?" Tara asked sounding a little concerned.

"Yeah I think he falls under nice." Buffy nodded.

"I sound like some fifty year old don't I?" She listened to Buffy's answer before breaking into a brighter smile and letting out a low chuckle.

"She didn't give you the scoop then? You sound concerned." Buffy shook her head. "I hear you helped her pick out a pressie for him."

"She said he was dreamy." Tara laughed softly. "Didn't tell me a lot."

"She kept teasing me that she knew what you got me for Valentines Day." Buffy grinned.

"She does know." Tara admitted. "She was there when I bought it."

"She did her best to embarrass me by suggesting I get you lingerie." Buffy admitted blushing slightly.

"Dawnie suggested you buy me lingerie?" Tara's eyes widened in surprise.

"She was very adamant, apparently the rest of my ideas were lame." The Slayer bit her lip.

"I doubt they were lame." Tara shook her head.

"Predictable probably." Buffy smiled and reached to the plate between them to tear off some muffin.

"Well it's hard not to be drawn into the gimmicks and the commercialism of the day." Tara watched the Slayer attack the muffin.

"Something so cute about a little stuffed devil with a heart that says 'I love you' on it." Buffy acknowledge as she munched.

"Well I thought about getting you one but I worried that you might have the over whelming desire to practice devil staking on it." Tara chuckled.

"Very true." Buffy grinned. "So what did you want for Valentines day?" She questioned softly.

"I told you what I wanted, you to come here." Tara replied gently.

"That was all?" Buffy leaned down looking up at the blonde as she played with the hand in her own.

"Well I think the extended wish was for you to stay over." Tara blushed gently, her voice lower.

"Well that I can arrange too." Buffy spoke back softly. "It was sorta my wish."

"There you go my Valentines wish is complete." Tara squeezed Buffy's fingers.

"So I have to ask... since when have you had minions?" Buffy teased.

"That's Todd." Tara smiled. "He's a sweetheart."

"Oh really?" The Slayer pouted slightly. "Should I be jealous?"

"Mmmmm I'm not one for the timber!" Tara winked.

"Tara!" Buffy blushed more at the blonde's alliteration.

"So do you want your present?" Tara questioned as she laughed softly at her lover's blush.

"I thought this was my present?" Buffy asked honestly looking around at their lovely picnic.

"No silly, this was the presentation." Tara shook her head.

"Oh..." Buffy sat up more. "Yes please."

"Close your eyes then." Tara instructed.

"Okay." Buffy did as she was told.

Pulling her hand from Buffy's Tara pulled the wicker basket closer and took out small black box held closed with a red ribbon. She laid it carefully in Buffy's hand.

"Okay open." She said in a hushed voice.

Buffy opened her eyes slowly and looked at the box a bit surprised.

"Do I open it?" She looked up into blue eyes and blinked.

"Yes." Tara encouraged.

Buffy took a slow breath and reached first undoing the ribbon and then easing the box open. Revealing a blue velvet cushion on which was a silver broach, made out of a single strand of silver wire that was carefully twisted to spell out Buffy with a love heart at the start and end of the name.

"Oh my... wow... it's beautiful." Buffy reached down and carefully traced a finger over the hearts and letters.

"There was a stall in the mall, I h-had in made." Tara explained.

"Wow, Tara it's gorgeous." She reached out and hugged the blonde. Tara held her tightly and smiled. "Okay so now I have to run to an all night mall because what I got just won't cut it." Buffy pulled back eyeing her present again.

"Buffy you are my present." Tara stated clearly. "I don't need anything else."

"But I got you something." Buffy carefully cradled the box in her lap before reaching back and rummaging in her bag before she came up with the slightly large square red tissue wrapped present. Tara smiled broadly loving the fact that the Slayer had got her a gift.

"Red tissue, I love it, so pretty as a covering." Tara watched Buffy's every move.

"Please just open it." Buffy blushed a little at the blonde's attempt to make whatever she had gotten special. Tara reached out and began to do so.

"Oh Buffy!" Tara pulled the book from the red paper and sat it on her lap flicking through the blank artificially aged pages and ran her hand over the intricately designed cover.

"It's empty so that you can chronicle all that you learn and discover. Some day some dusty old watcher can refer to your notes on one demon or another." Buffy explained the reason for the gift softly.

"It's amazing, thank you." Placing both her hands on the cover Tara leaned forward kissing Buffy's cheek lightly.

"You're welcome." Buffy grinned under the kiss.

"You know what we should do with this?" Tara put forward softly.

"What?" Buffy questioned.

"We should make it a book about us." Tara explained her sudden idea.

"About us?" Buffy smiled not quite understanding.

"I mean about us as in the way we fight evil, the things we do as the S-S-Scoobies." She clarified. "The Scooby diary."

"Very cool." Buffy nodded.

"Though any Watcher that gets to read it in the future may find it had better be a little less shockable than Mr. Giles." Tara grinned cheekily.

"Bloody hell." Buffy did her best English accent and Tara giggled.

"Especially if I do all the writing about my special Slayer." She kissed Buffy again.

"I would like to read that." Buffy blushed slightly as she realized what she had said, she smiled when she saw the pink hue in her lover's cheeks as well.

"I'm not sure I'd right about that in the Scoobies journal." Tara laughed adding the serious point.

"Good" Buffy grinned. "I could get you another journal if you wanted." She suggested softly.

"An us journal?" Tara moved closer to the Slayer her voice dropping lower.

"Killed three vampires, had lunch with Tara, enjoyed smooches for very long time." Buffy filled in with a smirk.

"Well you've done the patrol and we've had lunch, can't remember the smooches yet this evening." Tara smirked back.

"Mmmmm how many minions are going to come into the grove?" Buffy questioned moving slightly closer.

"They're all at the dance." Tara filled in inching closer.

"We could dance here." Buffy carefully moved the book out of her lap.

"We don't have any music." Tara objected softly.

"I hear music." Buffy smiled and kissed her lightly.

"Me too." Tara whispered she met Buffy's lips gently.

Willow glanced at her watch, she was late, she hated being late. She had briefly though it would be better just to not go at all but she knew that she should. It was important to go, she needed to go.

Taking a deep breath outside the drab building Willow summoned the courage to go in. As soon as Willow's feet hit the tiled corridor she regretted wearing shoes with heels as each of her footfalls echoed loudly down the empty corridor. Pushing up on her tiptoes Willow hurried straight down towards the meeting room trying to be quiet.

Hearing the gunfire like echo of heels Heather looked up from her magazine. She was on a rickety chair outside the conference room's door.

"Stealth mode engaged." Heather joked when she saw Willow turn the corner and realized that the sudden lack of noise was from the redhead being on her tiptoes. Dropping instantly back onto her heels Willow stopped just shy of the professor.

"I am so late." She hissed frowning deeply as she glanced to the door.

"Don't worry it's a thin crowd in there." Heather nodded to the door. "Cinderella is telling stories of past Valentines day spells and how she had the urge to incant some fat free chocolate. I don't think you're missing much."

"Do you sit there every week?" Willow asked still frowning. She realized that she'd never even considered that Heather might hold this ritual every week. Though as she thought about it the devotion the younger woman displayed to her frailer sister was admirable.

"Usually I'm only here the last ten minutes or so when I come to pick Hannah up." Heather admitted. "Just with tonight being what it is, I don't like leaving her on her own."

"It's hard." The redhead nodded her agreement.

"It's okay, you're doing great." Heather reached out and patted her arm briefly.

"Not really." Willow admitted with a sigh. Her hand dropped away from the door she had been just about to push open.

"What do you mean? You're here, that says a lot." Heather moved around on her chair to fully face Willow.

"I'm late because I've just spent the last forty five minutes crying." The redhead admitted drawing in a tight almost painful breath. "Doesn't so much scream doing great so much as falling apart?"

"Yeah but crying, unlike magicks, is really more in control then you're giving yourself credit for." Heather reached out again rubbing her arm for a longer time. "It's a hard night, and that's even if you are just alone. You should be proud of yourself."

"Do you have some really understanding beau at home making supper for when you guys get in?" Willow wasn't sure why she asked.

"Hannah hasn't been with anyone since Molly." Heather filled in without missing a beat. For some reason these questions seemed natural from Willow, even though they had only known each other a short time. "And not many people can handle the freaky obsessed mathematician that is me for very long."

"Sorry I had no right to ask." Willow shook her head suddenly embarrassed by her own inquisitiveness.

"It's okay. I wouldn't have answered if I didn't want to." Heather shook her head back.

"I suppose I should go in." Willow looked up at the door.

"Go on, save Hannah for me." Heather smiled softly to encourage her.

Willow nodded somewhat stiffly and pushed through the door, the new courage that Heather had given her making.

Tara stroked her hand over the back of Buffy's shirt as they swayed slightly to the sound of distant music in her dorm room. They had decided after a few 'quiet' dances in the grove that perhaps complete privacy was needed as hands had begun to explore more freely.

"I really didn't think we'd be able to hear the music from here." Tara whispered to the Slayer whose head rested on her shoulder.

"Cupid's looking out for us tonight." Buffy whispered back, her eyes were closed as their bodies swayed in time together.

"This really is a nice top." Tara said softly tracing her fingers over and over the material.

"Is this when I say that I sorta bought you another present?" Buffy lifted her head slightly to whisper in the blonde's ear.

"Another present?" Tara pulled back a little so she could see Buffy's face.

"A present in one of those silly something for me that's really for you sorta ways." The Slayer blushed.

"Explain." Tara pushed gently.

"Well now I feel silly because I have no idea what you like and don't like..." Buffy hesitated, her words stalling a moment away from really explaining.

"What I like and don't like?" Tara quizzed. "I like you." She added in a whisper.

"Yes but..." The Slayer took a slight breath as she took her courage in one hand and stepped back away from her lover.

The idea had seemed so romantically perfect at the shop, which was probably why it seemed so out of place and odd to her usual mindset now.

"Do you like this?" She slowly shed her sheer button down and peeled the tight spandex shirt off to reveal a deep crimson lace bra. The satin cups sat low, pushing in and up for maximum cleavage effect. It was Victoria Secret at her most classic and sexy.

"Buffy." Tara took a light breath, reaching a trembling hand out she traced a fingertip along the edge of delicate lace. "It's so beautiful." She whispered.

"I figured red was very Valentine." Buffy whispered back her voice wavering a little as Tara traced over the material.

"Very Valentine." Tara agreed stroking over and over for a long moment before pulling her hand back to her own body.

Without even a breath of hesitation she slipped her hands straight to the waistband of her loose pants and unfastened them smoothly. The generous material fell to the ground as she stepped back to reveal she was wearing tiny red satin shorts.

"We match." Buffy grinned and blushed as she reached up to tuck her hair behind her ear.

"We do." Tara whispered with a pleased smile.

"You know Miss. Maclay these are very, very attractive." Buffy stepped forward towards the Wicca and put her hands on Tara's hips. The flared shorts had a small slit up each side making them all the more revealing.

"Do my legs look too long in them?" A little of the shy unsure Tara raised its head briefly.

"Your legs could never look too long." Buffy shook her head seriously.

"You could loose the skirt so I could compare?" Tara suggested with a smirk.

"Well then you'd see that the bra has matching panties." Buffy reached up and undid the button on her skirt before sliding the snug suede down her body. "Disappointed?" She smiled as she remembered to herself how the crimson lace had contrasted against the skin of her stomach and legs.

"How could I be?" The blonde looked her lover up and down feeling her temperature rise.

"Well you could hate red, or lace or thongs?" Buffy blushed as she turned slightly to the side to show the cut of the underwear.

"Not on you I couldn't." Tara shook her head as she pulled off her peasant top to reveal a red silk strap top that ended in a high v just above the waistband of the shorts.

"Okay so if you tell me Dawn suggested lingerie to you too I'm going to freak out completely." Buffy laughed as she moved back over to loop her arms around Tara's neck. She instantly enjoyed the feel of the silk top against her bare stomach.

"She didn't." Tara slipped her hands round Buffy's waist to press her hands into Buffy's skin.

"Mmmmm then less freaking out... more with the... Mmmmm delicious." Buffy smiled and put her head back on Tara's shoulder as they began to naturally sway to the music again.

"I could close the window and put some music on in here, make it more of a private dance." Tara offered not truly realizing the double meaning in her words.

Buffy nodded and kissed the blonde's cheek for a minute before pulling back and moving over to lean back on her elbows on the bed.

Tara moved quickly to fulfill her task, pulling the drapes closed and flicking off the main light. The room was now only lit by the soft glow of various candles that bathed everything in a hazy dreamy light. She then flicked on her small stereo being careful to adjust the volume down fairly low.

"You're beautiful Buffy." She appraised gently as she crossed back to the bed.

"I haven't spent most of my life feeling beautiful." Buffy admitted as Tara moved even closer.

"What have you spent it feeling?" Tara asked kneeling on the floor just in front of the bed her eyes at the same level as Buffy's.

"Cheated." Buffy admitted shifting forward a bit towards the blonde. "But when you say it... I know you mean it."

"I do." Tara vowed.

"I know." Buffy reached out and cupped Tara's cheek in her hand. "You don't say anything you don't mean, which is so brave."

"I'm not brave." Tara shook her head.

"Listen to me, you are." Buffy stroked her cheek. "In a million ways, you are one of the bravest women I've ever met."

"Not like you are." Tara gazed lovingly at the Slayer.

"I'm not brave Tara. I do what I have to do. I do it with Slayer strength and speed. If I had to do it without any of that I'd be girl running furthest away from the problem." Buffy shook her head holding blue eyes. "And that's not really the brave I'm talking about. I'm talking about facing everyday brave."

"I love you." Tara replied leaning forward meeting Buffy's warm soft lips with her own.

"I love you." Buffy whispered and met the witch's movement.

"Is it too much to ask for another Valentines gift?" Tara whispered holding the Slayer close.

"Anything." Buffy held her lover back; she didn't want them to part again for along time.

"Make love to me all night long?" The Wicca asked in a soft loving whisper.

"Yes." Buffy leaned in to kiss her again fuller on the lips.

"I think one of the hardest things I find is when I'm faced with things that I used to use magic for, you know?" Willow said honestly as she glanced around the severely reduced crowd. "Almost that the little things are the hardest now."

"When do you feel most tempted?" Iris had slowly begun to focus completely on Willow as the others became uninterested in them. "When faced with situation that needs a large spell or one to fill in a little thing?"

"It used to be the major things you know? I know it sounds stupid but once right before I committed myself to giving up, I thought you if I did a major spell I could make everyone be okay again. But then, well…" Willow paused briefly. "Then things went more wrong and I realized that big magic wasn't the answer."

"Spells with the wrong intentions Pandora will always be doomed to fail from the beginning." Iris nodded. "The energy of a spell is so easily upset if your center of concentration isn't rooted in balance."

"I still sometimes question how wrong a teeny tiny spell would be." Willow admitted honestly.

"As you go longer without magic, you will wonder that more and more."

Iris smiled sadly. "The terror, the shakes, the withdrawal and the feeling of addiction will be so far from your immediate mind. They will be memories you will be trying to forget. But you can't forget them, or before you know it you could find yourself in the same position or worse."

"Did you ever slip?" Willow found herself directly addressing the leader.

"I had a third party that ensured I would not slip." Iris admitted looking down a bit ashamed.

"Um do we have to stay the whole time, because I have a party to go too?"

Cinderella leaned in a bit cutting the tension between them.

"No, no of course not." Iris looked back up shaking off cobwebs of thought.

"Voluntary attendance Cinderella." She reminded only to watch the young girl immediately start to pack up. The rest of the group matched Cinderella's movements.

"Doe that mean group over?" Willow asked from her seat watching everyone.

"Only if you have somewhere better to be." Iris shifted in her seat and reached back to take her tea off the table.

"Believe me I only have worse places to be." Willow admitted.

"Worse places?" Iris couldn't help questioning the phrasing.

"The university dance." Willow explained glancing over to the older woman.

"Oh I think my sister mentioned what an exciting event it would be." Iris sipped her tea as the room emptied out of everyone but them.

"I've never been to one." Willow admitted. "But I'm picturing it as bad."

"I think that would depend if you are open to a new love." Iris broached the subject carefully.

"I've not really thought about it at all, I mean…" Willow toyed with her hands. "I should I think, after all Tara's... I mean my girlfriend...my ex..." Willow babbled. "Girlfriend."

"Has she moved on?" Iris' words were blunt.

"Yes." Willow bowed her head sadly.

"Pandora, I hope above anything that our discussions here can be open and honest." Iris tried to lessen the blow of her words. "Do you think you can fix things with her?"

"I don't know how I can." Willow sunk into her chair more. "I did something dreadful"

"The mind control spell?" Iris clarified and fully expected the nod she received. "Do you think what you did is forgivable?" She rested the tea in her hands on her lap.

"No." Willow admitted. "Thinking about it makes me feel sick."

"I can't imagine how hard that must be Pandora, but if you know in your heart you can't forgive yourself, how can she?" Iris held green eyes with her own.

"If I told you everything, no..." Willow shook her head. "I can't do that." She frowned. "I just wish I could tell someone what happened, tell someone everything." She added after taking a deep breath.

"I can't guarantee you'll like what I'll say, but I can listen." Iris offered softly.

"I just don't know if I can." Willow shook her head. "Some of it's gonna sound…" She took another breath. "Insane." She admitted.

"You'd be surprised how much of insane I understand." Iris smiled slightly. "And besides, I'm not here to commit you, I'm just here to listen and maybe offer some comment."

"When I was a witch, a good witch." Willow started after a moment of contemplation on how to begin. "A group of friends and I worked together to help keep people safe."

"A noble reason to start doing magic." Iris nodded.

"But then something bad came to town, really bad." Willow frowned at the memories.

"And you had to start using dark magicks?" The brunette filled in the obvious progression.

"She stole my girlfriend's mind and wanted to kill my best friend's sister." Willow stated her voice hollow.

"Stole her mind?" Iris couldn't help but note the fact.

"To add stability to her own fragile sanity she took other peoples." Willow realized she probably wasn't making any sense.

"Consumption of sanity?" Iris seemed to think for a moment. "Displaced Hell God?" She questioned and caused Willow's jaw to drop in shock and it took her a few moments to recover.

"Glorificus." Willow's throat tightened as she spoke the cruel creature's name.

"Wow." Iris nodded softly.

"I flipped, freaked, went straight from the hospital to destroy her." Willow began to retell those horrible days.

"The first time you used dark?" Iris interjected her questions quickly to get Willow to open up more.

"Yes." She answered and then paused. "Well no." She admitted. "But the first time I meant it to hurt someone, something with it." She pointed out the difference.

"A very important distinction." Iris agreed.

"But I had to do something, she hurt Tara. I had to hurt her back." Willow defended herself quickly.

"Why?" The one word was plain and straightforward.

"Because Tara is my everything, for me to let someone hurt her and do nothing is wrong." Willow reasoned. "She had to feel the pain I felt."

"What about Tara?" Iris caught up on the focus Willow had had at the time of the attack.

"Tara?" The question tripped Willow up.

"Shouldn't your first thought been to ease her pain?" The older woman followed up her initial query.

"I..." Willow stumbled.

"Your first thought was that Glory's actions hurt you, made you upset, took your everything. What about Tara?" Iris pushed.

"I was there for Tara." Willow replied. "When they let her out, I was there for her and I researched ways to get her back. To bring her back to me."

"But your focus was making Glory pay for hurting you." Iris challenged. "Even when you knew the magicks you were using could consume you."

"Tara is worth the risk." Willow defended.

"If you had asked her, would she think it was worth the chance of losing you?" Iris dug into the heart of what she was hearing.

"I couldn't ask her she..." Willow stopped as she realized what the other woman was saying. "Tara would never risk losing me, at least she wouldn't have then."

"You feel like she betrayed you don't you?" Iris pressed. "When she left you, made you face what you had become."

"NO!" Willow snapped quickly but had to bite her lip as soon as the admittance slipped from her mouth. "Maybe."

"Pandora, until you face these feelings. All of them, good and bad, you cannot win against this addiction. You cannot be in control if you are in denial." Iris pointed out. "You went to face a Hell God, and I bet that felt good, damn good. All that power, all that power was yours, you were like a Goddess standing up to a primal force seeking justice, seeking retribution for your pain."

"I was too angry to feel any of the power." The redhead slipped in her voice tight.

"Anger." Iris nodded.

"I just wanted her to hurt, her too loose something as important as I had lost."

Willow seethed breathing in sharply.

"Do you think she cared?" Iris questioned almost shocked by her own words. "Do you think a Hell God cared what pain you could cause her? I bet she laughed at you." The older woman stood up. "I bet she even let you have a few shots before she turned the tables."

"Are you saying I should have just left it and done nothing?" Willow frowned and watched the other woman's movements feeling small and beaten.

"I can't tell you in hindsight what was the best course of action." Iris shook her head slowly. "I can only point out to you the flaws in an approach that you obviously thought was righteous and justified. Magic does not use the scales that our hearts do Pandora, they do not see raw emotion as a force to be used without question."

"I had to get her back." Willow whispered

"I'm really not here to judge you." Iris sat back down.

"What if I want you too?" Willow asked suddenly she looked up at Hannah her eyes suddenly young and sad.

"Then I would call you a selfish child." Iris looked down at the redhead with a slight scowl.

"What?" Willow asked astonished.

"You acted like a spoiled little girl who had her toy broken in the playground, and instead of fixing the toy, you sought revenge for its injury." She kept her stare.

"I mended her as well." Willow stated her voice hard.

"As well?" Iris laughed tightly. "What as an afterthought? When it suited you? When you had time? Before or after you placed her mind under your control?" She bit back.

"It wasn't like that!" Willow objected. "We were busy, we had to find ways to stop Glory for good, and I spent all my time thinking about ways to get Tara back anyway. I wasn't the help I should have been to everyone else because I was working out ways to help Tara. I didn't control her mind I just took away some of the bad things."

"Did she ask you take the 'bad things'?" Iris questions continued relentlessly. "Did your friends really expect you not to have Tara as your main focus? Did you expect yourself to sit by while she was injured and not do everything you could to help her? Because if you didn't then I doubt you know even what love means."

"I don't know what I thought, what I expected, right now I don't know why I did anything that I did then, or even more recently." Willow frowned.

"But that is what you have to understand and accept Pandora." Iris moved over to sit and pulled her chair closer to the redhead. "The how is simple, magic. The why, the motivation, is what you have to come to terms with and walk forward from."

"But I'm afraid I won't like the answer." Willow admitted.

"I can guarantee you won't like it." Iris shook her head. "You'll hate it, you'll feel dirty and used, and you'll be angry for awhile and then feel totally hopeless. Then you will have to make a choice." She outlined softly.

"A choice?" Willow could hardly dare ask the question.

"Do I give my life to magic knowing that it can not give me anything in return now? Or do I make my life my own." The older woman answered slowly.

"But it could give me something couldn't it?" Willow challenged.

"The last time you did a spell what did it give you?" Iris challenged back.

"That's not what I meant." Willow refused to answer.

"It will give you one of two things Pandora." Iris held defiant green eyes. "Absolute power at the cost of everything, including your soul or it will give you death."

"I have given up magic Iris." Willow stated firmly.

"But it has not given up on you, not as long as it can convince you that it can make life better, easier, less painful or give you back what you have lost." Iris' voice softened a bit. "Everything that I say to you Pandora is only because I did not face what I had done not for a very long time, and it cost me dearly."

"What made you face it at all?" Willow asked taking a deep breath.

"Someone made me realize I had a choice." Iris took a slow breath.

"Who?"

"My sister." The older woman found it was her turn to admit a hard truth.

"I suppose I should let you go." Willow glanced at her watch suddenly not sure she could take this level of emotional exploration much longer.

"Pandora, you're not like the rest of the people who come here." Iris calmed things down slightly. "I can see it in your eyes: the pain, the understanding of life and death." She frowned. "I know it will be so hard, but you need help."

"I want help, I want to get better." Willow admitted.

"You have no idea how hard this is for me to offer but..." Iris took a deep breath. "Do you want to meet and talk without all the distraction?" She motioned to the room where the others would be.

"Are you sure?" Willow asked truly surprised by the offer. After all it wasn't Iris' job to straighten out her broken life.

"Yes." Iris smiled softly. "And before I change my mind we should set a time." She admitted her own failing.

"I only have the one class tomorrow." The hacker jumped at the offer.

"Fine, let me give you my address." Iris moved to her purse.

Buffy shifted slightly under the soft sheet and put a little distance between her own hot skin and Tara's.

"Did I ever think to ask you if these rooms had thick walls?" She teased as she reached up and tucked her tousled hair behind her ears.

"Do you honestly think I care?" Tara managed the words through her fast, but slowing breathing. Her face beamed with a beautifully satisfied smile.

"Good answer." Buffy grinned back as she took a deep breath and her lungs filled with the damp air that was scented with their lovemaking. She felt completely energized and exhilarated as she shifted up on her knees and moved her body to hover over Tara. "You are so beautiful." She appraised in awe as she dipped her head down and kissed the blonde's neck.

"And you are astounding." Tara breathed out heavily.

"Astounding?" Buffy leaned up momentarily and giggled.

"Did I really say that?" Tara giggled with her.

"Is that the nice Tara way of saying give me a second to catch my breath?" The Slayer laughed and forced herself to stay still.

"Well I haven't really ever tested my lung capacity as thoroughly as I have over the last three hours." She replied chuckling. "But they say aerobics are good for you."

"Drink?" Buffy grinned. "To replace fluids." She bounced slightly on her knees making the bed rattle a little against the wall.

"Good idea." The Wicca agreed laughing at her lover's never ending energy.

Buffy nodded rolling back and off the bed in a quick move. She felt energized, focused and most of all happy she decided as she pulled open the fridge and took out two bottles of water.

"For you." She sat back on the edge of the bed and opened one holding it out for Tara who was still sprawled out exhaustedly.

"Thank you darling." Tara moved herself slowly and carefully into a neater more upright position before taking the bottle.

"You're welcome." Buffy grinned as she chugged down her water. "Are you hungry? We could order something in." She questioned a bit worried as she focused on the deep red flush in Tara's face. As her mind cleared a bit from the passion she felt she realized she might have let her Slayer energy get the better of them.

"At the moment the only thing I'm craving is you." Tara's lip turned up into a seductive smile as she took small sips of her drink.

"Are you sure you don't have a touch of slayer stamina?" Buffy grinned and put her bottle on the side table as she scooted closer.

"I might need to sleep for a week after this, but it'll so be worth it." The Wicca reached out and put her water bottle down next to the Slayer's.

"I can't go a week without you." Buffy spoke honestly as she strongly but softly pulled Tara to her.

"Every hour apart is long enough." Tara agreed, moving easily to Buffy's body.

"I'm addicted to Tara." The Slayer grinned.

For a fraction of a second Tara stiffened in the embrace, her eyes darting aside as her lover's words sliced into her heart.

"Oh God, I'm sorry." Buffy froze as she realized what she had said. "Body on fire, brain hazy, stupid slayer." She frowned.

"No Buffy its okay." Tara evened her breathing and melted back into the embrace. "I know it's a good thing, your Tara addiction."

"How about I edit it to be Tara devotion?" Buffy smiled back as she rubbed her hands over her lover's skin.

"Perfect." Tara conceded nuzzling closer.

"I'm sorry if I don't always say the right things." Buffy apologized softly holding Tara tight to her.

"Buffy there is not right things or wrong things to say during this kind of time." Tara soothed. "Well unless you suddenly start talking about Xander or something." She grinned mischievously.

"No worry of that." Buffy laughed lightly. "Xander who?" She questioned with a wink.

"I love you Buffy." Tara briefly squeezed the Slayer.

"I love you Tara." Buffy returned the heartfelt words. "Before all the craziness happened, I can't say I ever in my wildest dreams though I would ever feel this much for someone, anyone, but I do."

"You really are turning into a poet aren't you?" The Wicca turned up her face in a smile as bright as her blue eyes.

"Lost poet syndrome." Buffy blushed slightly.

"Goddess this is going to sound like a strange request, but can we get dressed?" Tara asked the question softly.

"Dressed?" Buffy faltered for a minute. "Of course, if that's what you want?"

"It is, that is, I want to get undressed again very quickly, but I think you're going to want to be wearing something when we walk out of the dorm." Tara filled in the information.

"Okay." Buffy nodded not quite sure she understood what Tara was proposing but going along with it anyway. She kissed the blonde lightly and then pulled back moving to find her clothes that were strewn around the room with Tara's.

Tara similarly moved away and slipped back into the outfit she had been wearing. It was somewhat distracting that her body was alive and heated after recent hours of making love with Buffy. It didn't want to be enclosed again by fabric of any kind. The most it wanted was a cool sheet and the warm weight of the Slayer's body but still she dressed and took a place near the door.

"You okay?" She checked with Buffy.

The Slayer in turn reluctantly re-clothed herself, pulling on her boots in time to follow Tara's movements.

"Well a bit lost as to what you're planning but fine." Buffy admitted.

"Planning?" Tara laughed softly. "I'm not sure any of this is planned." She admitted as she pulled open the door and held out her hand for Buffy's. Buffy laughed and slipped her hand into Tara's letting herself be led along willingly. Tara glanced at the large dorm wall clock as the moved out along the corridor it was nearly twelve she realized so they still had time.

As the pair emerged from the building into the cool night air Tara's worries about time were lessened slightly as the music from the University dance hung heavy in the air.

"Come on." She encouraged with a light giggle as she pulled them into a gentle run. Her blonde hair blew around behind her as it was caught in the wind. Buffy easily kept pace with her lover, laughing as the cool air hit her flush skin and soothed it slightly, though the anticipation that was building inside her made it hard to cool down completely.

Tara led them quickly to the large conference center on campus where the Valentines ball was being held. Pushing boldly through the doors, the pair was hit by a wall of warmth and music. The doormen had long since given up their vigil and students were coming and going freely.

Pulling Buffy tighter beside her, Tara moved through the masses towards the dance floor. Most of the patrons were hung in close groups; chatting, drinking, smoking or laughing. The rest of the crowd were on the extended dance floor wrapped around their partners, lost in the slow rhythm of the love ballads churned out by the surprisingly calm DJ.

Ignoring all the calls of 'Hey Tara!' and 'Tara didn't think you were coming' the blonde Wicca moved straight to an open spot on the dance floor. She pulled Buffy to a gentle halt and then turned so that they were facing each other.

"Happy Valentines day." She whispered as the last few chords of the old song began to fade.

"Happy Valentines day." Buffy whispered back looking around at the foreign world for a moment and then to the blue eyes that watched her lovingly.

Tara offered her hand as the first few bars of the next song began. Buffy reached past the hand that came towards her and stepped in to loop her arms around Tara's neck. Tara rested her hands on Buffy's hips and slowly drew her closer. While Sarah Mclachlan's voice added words to their silent emotions, their bodies melted together again to dance.

"Willow..." Danielle moved up behind her shorter friend and interrupted the hacker's conversation with another student. "Come outside with me for a bit." She put out the suggestion with a slight amount of agitation.

"Outside? Danielle I only just got here, and besides Jen was just telling me about all the action I missed earlier, I am so disappointed I missed Leon trying to kiss Kristy." Willow didn't even turn from her conversation.

"Come on, I hate this song." Danielle glanced back at the dance floor wishing she could put up a barrier or something. "Just come outside, Jen will come with us and tell you all the gossip." She nodded to the dance floor and Jen's eyes went wide as she realized the problem.

"Yeah come on Willow, it's stuffy in here and besides I think Terry is outside." Jen looped her arm into the redhead's intending on leading her to the exit.

"Why should I care where Terry is?" Willow stepped back a little moving to pull her arms free. "Why don't I just go and ask the DJ to..." She turned her head to look across the dance floor. "Tara." The horrified whispered stuck soundly in the hacker's throat. "Maybe outside is good." Unable to turn away Willow began backing up, she treaded on peoples feet and chair legs as she blindly tried to retreat.

"Outside." Danielle underlined as she and Jen began apologizing to the people Willow was stepping on and followed her closely till they reached the front.

"I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay." Willow repeated her mantra over and over as she leaned hard against a wall trying to draw breath into her gasping lungs.

"I can't believe the nerve she has." Danielle started in trying to help Willow feel better.

"And did you see that tramp she's with? I mean you are a hundred times better looking than her." Jen added fumbling in her purse to get Willow a tissue.

"A thousand times better looking." Danielle backed up moving over to put an arm around Willow and help stabilize her. Willow fought to control her breathing, trying to battle against the feelings threatening to totally overpower her.

"Th-Th-That's Buffy." She managed to say.

"Buffy?" Danielle's eyes went wide. "As in Buffy Summers?"

Willow dipped her head and nodded as things began to slow a little in her spinning mind and settle in her flip flopping stomach.

"I didn't really mean the tramp part." Jen backtracked. "More that you and Tara look better together."

"I need to go." Willow tried to collect herself and stand straighter.

"Do you want us to come with?" Danielle questioned not sure what was going through the redhead's mind as she recomposed herself.

"No I need to g-get away." Willow shook her head as she pushed off from the wall.

Buffy didn't even feel the rest of the world. Her eyes had gently closed as Tara held her safe and the world became about the gentle sway of the music within them. She barely even heard the lyrics, barely realized that she was in a room of close to five hundred people slow dancing with another woman.

Death had changed her. It had been a fact she'd been trying to ignore, trying to embrace, trying to do anything other than just accept. Her mom dying had forced her to realize she was not the world's true keeper, time was that and she had no power. Not over a second, a minute or a life. She could rage against the dying of a light all she wanted, some days the flame would stay lit and the monsters under the bed would die under her hand and sometimes the monsters would rise again and the light would go out anyway. It was all part of a cycle that she was starting to understand.

Death had been her gift. A gift to give Dawn life, a life that her sister had never really been given until the moment the portal closed. But the cryptic message of the first slayer had confused her. Confused her into believing that was where her role ended, when the truth was it was only the beginning. Possibly one of the most truthful and useful things that Spike had ever told her was that after awhile a slayer craves death, craves giving up the fight and if she was honest she'd been there. But unlike the others she'd had death, had the bliss of whatever that was and now had life again.

Here in Tara's arms, she could see for the first time that maybe death had held another gift. A passage away from her own cold feelings, a route through the heart of the darkness she was forced to deal with everyday and a promise of something better on the horizon if she only kept fighting.

"Still with me?" Tara whispered gently in Buffy's ear.

"Yes." Buffy pulled her head back a little looking into blue eyes that sparkled with the lights from the dim dance floor. "Just thinking how lucky I am."

"I'm the lucky one Buffy." Tara said softly.

"Tied?" A slow smile spread across the Slayer's face.

"Tied." A warm somewhat surprised smile crossed Tara's face at the Slayer's unpredicted comment met her ears.

As they made the agreement the soft song melted into something with more of a techno dance beat. Quickly the floor around them filled up until everyone was tightly packed together.

"Hi Tara." A petite brown haired girl danced by and waved at the blonde.

"Keisha." Tara looked around at the voice to identify who it was before looking back at Buffy. She held her hands loosely around the slim waist of her girlfriend, making it easier if Buffy wanted to slip away.

"Hey Tara." A tall lanky slightly awkward guy was dragged by as his partner tried to get him to dance. "I didn't think you were coming." He questioned over the music.

As Buffy watched so many of the other students take the time to say hello to Tara, she was amazed if she was honest. Tara's usually self-conscious demeanor seemed shattered by this large circle of friends. She smiled as Tara gave her the room to flee and instead she instantly decided to keep her place. If Tara wanted her to move she'd have to make the move away.

Tara returned the various greetings. She was pleasantly surprised when Buffy didn't step away. In a show of appreciation Tara moved herself around behind Buffy holding the blonde around the waist from behind.

"You're popular." Buffy teased and leaned into the body behind her.

"Not really." She blushed lightly.

"Hey Tara, the picnic impressed eh?" Todd's bright call came from beside the pair as he walked into view with his girlfriend.

"Very much, thank you." Buffy looked up at the young man who had so sourly led her to the grove.

"I'm glad." He said sincerely. "Amanda this is Buffy, Tara's girlfriend." He introduced his partner to the Slayer.

"Hi." Buffy nodded from her place in Tara's arms.

"Hi, Todd was telling me about the set up Tara had prepared for you, so romantic." The young girl enthused as she squeezed Todd's hand and smiled broadly at Tara and Buffy.

"Very." Buffy agreed grinning broadly back.

"We have a table and drinks Tara." Todd pointed somewhere behind him offering a place to the Wicca. Tara glanced at Buffy, her eyes asking all she needed to know.

"Up to you." Buffy smiled back telling Tara she didn't mind either way.

"Why don't we meet up in the week Todd?" Tara offered. "I'm feeling slightly tired."

"You're looking a little beat." He smiled at the happy couple. Tara squeezed Buffy lightly and the Slayer looked away with a guilty grin. "Lets say Tuesday night." Todd offered and Tara nudged Buffy to remind her she needed her to confirm.

"What?" Buffy questioned softly having assumed Todd's offer was to Tara and not the both of them.

"Tuesday night sweetie, are we free?" Tara asked softly.

"Oh we." Buffy took in a short breath. "Yeah we're free."

"Great." Todd gave a content nod, "Take your girl home Tair, looks like she needs her bed.

Tara managed to turn her face into Buffy's hair before she giggled softly. Her usually pale cheeks glowed red as Buffy joined in.

Willow wasn't sure she even knew where Marakow Drive was but as she almost tripped over a grate in the sidewalk and her eyes caught sight of the road sign that clearly indicated that she was at '34 Marakow Drive'.

'What are you doing Willow?' She asked herself as she stumbled along down the small residential road. 'It's nearly one in the morning and you're in the middle of nowhere.' She stopped and closed her eyes dragging a painful breath into her lungs. As she did though the image of Buffy cradled in Tara's arms glared back at her forcing her to flick her eyes open again.

"Willow?" Heather rounded the short corner of the street to see the redhead standing alone in the dim streetlight. She wound the dog lease further around her hand to shorten the large Newfoundland sheep dog running room.

"Heather?" Willow looked around almost blindly pulling the recognition out of nowhere.

"You okay?" Heather could easily see the distress on the hacker's face, which had to explain why she was walking down a dark street at almost one in the morning.

"I..." Willow looked between the dark haired woman and the beautiful dog and then burst into tears.

"Whoa." Heather jogged over to her quickly. "What's wrong? Are you hurt?"

"I went to the d-d-dance." Willow almost recoiled from Heather sobbing harder.

"Come inside." Heather bit her lip as she moved over and opened the gate, letting the large dog off its leash to roam forward freely.

"I don't deserve you to be nice." Willow hung back shaking her head in fact all of her fragile form shook.

"Willow, you haven't done a damn thing to me to not deserve a cup of tea and a shoulder to cry on." Heather moved back and put her arm around the redhead pushing her forward. "So just move before I pick you up." Her voice was playfully stern as she tried to get Willow to move.

Willow somehow managed to make her feet inch forward as Heather directed.

Part Eleven

Buffy shifted and sat on the edge of the ledge behind her. Even with all her slayer skills she wasn't quite sure how she managed the maneuver as at the same time Tara was kissing her breath away. They had decided to take the long way back to the dorm, winding through the open corridors of the buildings.

The choice had seemed like a mistake when they had got a little distracted in one of the halls and a security guard had shooed them away. To the Slayer's surprise Tara had produced a key to one of the history annexes and now tucked away amongst old books and maps they had privacy.

"Mmmmm I though you were tired?" Buffy teased as she felt hands press slowly under her shirt and creep up her stomach. The Wicca's standing position between her legs gave the blonde easy access to the Slayer's body.

"You're the one I had to put to bed." Tara smirked spreading her fingers over Buffy's flesh.

"How could you resist such a direction?" Buffy threaded her fingers into blonde hair kissing Tara deeply.

"Mmmmm." Tara moaned into the kiss as she slid her hands around and then down to rest over the curves of Buffy's butt.

"If another security guard interrupts us I'm going to very gently knock him out." Buffy growled as she kissed the blonde hotly and moved her hands down to undo Tara's skirt.

"Very gently." Tara agreed distracted. "But I locked the door." She pulled back her hands to lift the key into Buffy's line of sight before dropping it onto the ledge nearby. She finished the Slayer's effort and soon her skirt pooled at her feet.

"Better and less painful for the security guard." Buffy moved her arms back for a moment to peel the layers off her upper body.

Tara quickly removed her own top leaving her only in the red satin set she'd bought for Buffy. Buffy used the moment of busy separation to undo her own skirt and slip it off to meet Tara's on the floor.

"I hope you didn't mind me taking you over to the dance." Tara moved back closer to Buffy.

"It was nice." Buffy admitted softly as she wrapped her arms around the blonde again. "Being out, around people... being there with you."

"I didn't think to ask that maybe you weren't ready to be seen with me." Tara traced her finger up along the lace at the top of Buffy's bra.

" I don't..." Buffy took in a slow ragged breath as her body arched forward a little. "Mind."

"It felt so right, being there, dancing with you" Tara traced the weave of the red silk slowly.

"Meant to be." Buffy agreed as she ran her hands over Tara's creamy shoulders.

"I don't want to hurt Willow Buffy, but..." Tara drew her fingers up to lightly cup Buffy's chin and then drew the Slayer's face upwards so she could look into hazel eyes. Buffy moved as she was urged and held blue eyes waiting for her lover to continue. "I think I want to come home." She whispered finally.

"You do?" Buffy felt her heart slam up into her throat.

"I mean not if you don't think I should, I m-m-mean obviously you and Dawn come first, and Willow of course..." Tara suddenly lost her confidence and she pulled her hand back from her lover's chin.

"No, no, not what I meant." Buffy reached up in a snap reflex to catch the retreating hand. "I meant... you want to move home with me?" Her voice was softer and slightly awed.

"I meant what I said earlier Buffy, every hour I don't see you is longer than the rest. It's hard not waking up with you beside me, well on top of me." She smiled her crooked smile.

"Selfish sleeper." Buffy smiled back as she gave her standard answer. "I want you to come home." She added in a whisper leaning forward to kiss Tara softly.

"I don't want to be selfish Buffy. I mean I don't want to move back in tonight, that is I do, but it's going to take planning I know that." Tara explained her own rationale.

"Planning, not tonight." Buffy nodded. "But soon." She kissed her lover again.

"Mmmmm soon." Tara took the kiss deeper moving her hand back to caress the silky bra. She eased her fingers under to graze against the heated skin beneath the material.

"Not right now, other things right now." Buffy groaned as her body arched further into Tara's hands and she hooked one leg around the blonde drawing her closer.

"What do you do to me?" Tara breathed the question as she lavished kisses on Buffy's exposed throat. "I'm supposed to be the shy witch."

"I don't know what I do, but I don't want it to stop." Buffy admitted tilting her head so that Tara could nuzzle in closer.

Tara immediately moved to fill the space offered, her lips covering as much warm flesh as they could. She closed her eyes and lost herself in the feelings that filled her to overflowing. Being with Buffy was not like anything else she had ever experienced. Willow had loved her gently, tenderly and with passion but with Buffy there was something else. There was intensity and energy that she could only guess came from her lover's slayer status. An energy that somehow linked to Tara's inner soul and led it forwards to a new place. Actually as Tara made her kisses slightly harder she realized she had no idea what made her behave this way with Buffy. It just wasn't something she could ever explain, it just was the dynamic between them.

Buffy's moans reverberated through Tara's lips and fuelled her burning desire more. She latched lightly onto a small flushed patch of skin, licking and sucking gently as her hand cupped Buffy's breast. She ran her thumb back and forth over the contrasting hard and soft flesh.

"Darling." Buffy moaned out the short word as Tara's attention made her body surrender its defenses and a swell of pleasure rose within her.

It was then that an element of clarity entered Tara's mind. The difference between the way Buffy and Willow made her feel, was just that. One was Buffy and one was Willow, the defining factor that would never change.

Sucking a little harder Tara let her hand squeeze the soft flesh beneath her fingers. Making love to Buffy, with Buffy was like walking in a summer rainstorm, refreshing, renewing and invigorating all at the same time. Releasing the hot skin between her lips, Tara drew her tongue over and over the recently released flesh before sucking it lightly again as her other hand slid down Buffy's body cupping her ass lightly.

"Mmmmm Tara." Buffy moaned again as Tara's hand moved. She freed her hands from flowing blonde hair, down to cover over the silk that cupped Tara's breasts.

"God, I'm sorry did that hurt?" Tara pulled her lips free.

"No." Buffy shook her head softly. "That was a mmm... good mmm."

Tara took a moment in the dim light of the annex to appraise the skin she'd been so attracted too. She quickly moved her hand from Buffy's breast to rest on the patch hoping perhaps what she was seeing wasn't right.

"Oh Buffy." Tara sounded worried as she moved her finger over the small patch.

"What?" Buffy couldn't place the blonde's concern.

"I think I…" She rubbed lightly looking at Buffy's neck with a furrowed brow.

"You gave me a hickey?" Buffy put on a mock look of horror.

"Oh I'm sorry." The Wicca's face blossomed into a full-blown frown when she didn't' catch the humor in Buffy's tone.

"Tara, it's okay." Buffy laughed and hugged the witch.

"I've never ever done that before, I…" Tara blushed. "I didn't know I knew how." She chuckled getting more embarrassed.

"Well I think it's pretty much just a sucking thing." Buffy giggled and kissed her lightly. "And I can vouch for the fact you know how to do that well." The honest comment made Tara blushed even more.

"I didn't hurt you did I?" She worried.

"I'm fine." Buffy shook her head. "Marked as yours and loving it." She grinned.

"You could return the favor." Tara smirked.

"You'd want me too?" Buffy smiled a little shocked that Tara would want that, mostly because the Wicca didn't seem big on childish high school throwbacks like hickeys.

"I've never had one." Tara admitted.

"Never?" Buffy raised an eyebrow and Tara shook her head. "Where would you want it?" She licked her lips.

"There are choices?" Tara asked genuinely surprised.

"You can have a hickey anywhere you have skin." Buffy filled in softly. "Do you want it where it shows or somewhere private?" She leaned in and whispered the options into the blonde's ear.

"Somewhere private would be nice." Tara replied her voice warm and thick.

Buffy nodded and kissed the ruby lips before her softly before leaning down and kissing Tara's throat before moving her lips lower. As she reached the swell of flesh that peaked out from the tight fitting bra she kissed lightly before picking an area and sucking harder.

"Mmmmm." Tara leaned her head back a little embracing the wave of heat that flowed into her from the point where Buffy's lips met her skin.

After a long time Buffy pulled her head back to inspect the area before she planted another firm kiss for a few more moments.

"There you go first hickey." Buffy grinned at the small heart shaped bright red mark. Tara glanced down and beamed as she traced a slightly shaking fingertip over the mark.

"Its beautiful." She appraised with a happy smile.

"It's a hickey, you're beautiful." Buffy leaned back up to kiss her. When she did Tara captured her lips and kissed her back hard.

"I love you." Buffy mumbled as they kissed heavily and her hands went to urgently push Tara's breasts free of her bra.

"I love you. I want you." Tara unfastened Buffy's bra and pushed the material back.

"Yes, want." Buffy agreed her hands spreading over the Wicca's breasts and playing with already hard nipples.

"Mmm please…" Tara moaned back.

"Please?" Buffy found it vaguely amusing how often their vocabulary slipped to under twenty words when they got to a certain point in there love making.

"Need." Tara uttered the one word answer as she pressed her hands firmly over each perfect cheek on Buffy's butt to pull her closer.

"Yes." Buffy acknowledged her massaging movements a big stronger.

"This has been an amazing Valentines." Tara admitted as she flexed her hips slightly into the Slayer's.

"Because it was with you." Buffy kissed her lightly over and over.

"My thoughts exactly." Tara smiled.

"Thank you." Buffy whispered the words slowly though their bodies and hands kept up heated movements.

"Don't thank me for something that comes so naturally to me Buffy." Tara shook her head and kissed her lover again with light butterfly like kisses.

Buffy let herself become lost in the kisses again as she trailed one hand down Tara's body to her rocking hips before letting it slip within Tara's silky red shorts.

Tara couldn't control the flex in her lower body as she felt Buffy's gentle fingertips. She couldn't believe how attuned she had become to the trace of Buffy's fingers or how her body seemed to recognize it almost before her mind did.

"Nice shorts." Buffy whispered as her hand eased in further and with a certain satisfaction found the wave of heat and wetness she'd been expecting.

"They're slinky." Tara wasn't sure why she pointed that out as she rotated her hips slightly.

"Very slinky." She skimmed her cupped hand over the apex of Tara's legs, before curling up her fingers and running her knuckles back over hot skin on the return movement.

"Bufffffy!" Tara growled lightly. "God you make me so…" She bit the corner of her lip as she squeezed her hands slightly harder.

"Wet?" Buffy replied cheekily as she ran her knuckles back and forth pressing a little deeper so that she began to feel the slickness travel over her hand.

"Yes." She whispered back flushing bright red.

"Do you have any idea how amazing that is?" Buffy whispered as she leaned her forehead against the blonde's.

"I know how it feels when I make you feel that way." Tara replied honestly.

"Oh I am." Buffy agreed her breathing a little faster.

"Are you?" Tara breathed her voice suddenly quite hoarse and husky.

"Don't play coy with me Miss. Maclay." Buffy reached to kiss Tara as her fingers shifted and her thumb moved to rub against the blonde's needy center.

"Coy?" Tara slid one hand away from Buffy's butt to the front of the red lace panties her lover's wore. She rubbed lightly over the lace on automatic as her breath left her lungs in a hard exhale as Buffy's thumb settled in place.

"Yes, acting like you don't know what you do to me." Buffy moaned and her legs shifted further open as her body tried desperately to get closer to Tara's fingers.

"I…" Tara couldn't deny her lover and brushed once directly between Buffy's legs to offer the pressure the Slayer needed. "Excite you?" She drew her fingers back slowly.

"Yessssssss." Buffy moaned again though she concentrated on keeping the movement of her hand steady against Tara's center. She could hear and see the effect her concentrated effort was having on the blonde.

"Raise your temperature?" Tara moved her fingers more rhythmically back and forth over the damp lace while her own hips rocked back and forth against Buffy's hand.

"Oh yessss." Buffy hissed the word out as she found them moving in a sweet rhythm against each other.

"Turn you on?" Tara's voice was almost a whimper as a shiver of pleasure rocked through her.

"Just with a look." Buffy whispered biting her lip as her hips jumped off the ledge.

"Make you feel good?" Tara's words were punctuated with hot fast breaths, as her hip movements became harder firmer jerks forward.

"Always." Buffy panted with her. "Do I do those things to you?"

"All the time." The blonde gasped her voice higher than normal.

"Exactly." Buffy punctuated the thought as she slipped two fingers smoothly into Tara's body while her thumb continued to please outside.

"Baby!" Tara gasped as her hips pressed firmly forward locking Buffy in place on the ledge. Despite her own overwhelming pleasure she managed to focus enough to slip her middle finger around under the lace barrier and she pressed directly against hot wet skin.

"Tara." Buffy growled her lover's name as her body finally received the direct contact it needed so urgently. Watching the desire on Tara's face she pushed her fingers to follow a quick rhythm in their wet environment. In turn Tara moved to meet Buffy's needs as everything became about feeling, heat and desire. Tara's free hand shifted up onto Buffy's lower back as in rhythm she pulled the Slayer closer while her loving fingers pressed deeper into her lover's body.

"Do we have to be quite?" Buffy questioned urgently as she felt her hips jumping and flexing beyond her control.

"No." Tara replied quickly. "Old books make great mufflers." She panted pressing in a little deeper as they moved tighter together. She took the opportunity to wriggle her thumb into position and begin directly stimulating the Slayer's throbbing center.

Buffy's body opened up easily to Tara's movements and in turn she worked to keep her hand motion fast in the pressed environment. Her effort was made considerably easier by the steady rock of Tara's hips against her hand and wrist.

"You feeling noisy?" Tara asked though she found talking was becoming harder as her body jumped and twitched with passion.

"I have that..." Buffy gasped as Tara's hand shifted a little more and hit an extra sensitive spot. "Noise problem."

"Forget it." Tara leaned in and placed her lips back at Buffy's throat and kissed and licked around the dark mark already there.

"Thank you." Buffy leaned her head back a little and didn't stop the loud moan that escaped her.

"Oh Buffy yes." Tara encouraged. It always amazed her what an effect hearing Buffy's passion had on her own arousal, it literally melted her and it was a reaction she knew Buffy would feel in turn.

With encouragement Buffy found herself melting into a series of moans and groans as she was caught up by the divine feeling of Tara's body and her own overwhelming pleasure.

Driven by Buffy's pleasure Tara moved with her lover. In mastery only the blonde seemed to hold, she attentively moved to hold, press and rub carefully all the places that drove Buffy mad. All of this she did while letting her own body openly and unreservedly react to Buffy's love.

"So..." Buffy panted between moans. "Close." She gave her usual warning to Tara as her body sped up and muscles moved erratically within her.

"Okay baby, okay…" Tara gasped feeling her body race to climax with Buffy's. "Oh yes." She arched her back hard and pressed the fingers of her other hand into Buffy's back to hold them tightly together.

"YES!" Buffy screamed as she crashed into orgasm, her body going tense but still rocking with the blonde. Tara's cry was just as loud as simultaneously she peaked and tumbled over the edge of pleasure.

Buffy yawned as she woke up a bit and realized that as usual she was sprawled over the blonde. Glancing to the bedside table she registered that it was only eight, and since it had been well after three by the time they'd fumbled back from the history annex and crawled into bed, she was going to enjoy sleeping in.

Moving over onto her side to give the blonde some breathing space, she wasn't really surprised when a sleepy Tara curled immediately to settle in behind her.

Even if she had planned on getting up early Buffy didn't have a chance. Cuddled in Tara's warm arms she soon fell into a deep comfortable sleep.

When Willow opened her eyes everything looked different. As she drew in sleepy breath she realized everything smelled different, even the air tasted different and as a large black paw landed on her lower legs she knew that was definitely different.

"Trudeau, get off of Willow." Heather snapped lovingly at the dog as it led her into the room and followed around the four-poster bed with a tray to reach the hacker's side of the bed. "I thought you might be hungry." She held it up a little to show the fresh fruit, muffin and selection of juice and coffee that was assembled for the redhead.

"Wow." Willow breathed as she shuffled a little to bring herself more upright in the large double bed.

"Oh no, I didn't make any of this. I go for a jog with Tru first thing and pick it up from the bakery." Heather smiled.

"Still wow." Willow shook her head and pulled one of the dark covered pillows to tuck it upright behind her back.

"You should con Hannah into cooking, she's the one in the family with real talent." Heather laughed as she gave the dog another look and the large newf moved for her to set the tray down over Willow's legs.

"Hannah, Goddess I almost forgot, is she up? Does she know I'm here?" A frown creased Willow's brow. The whole evening from when Heather had taken her into the house was a little disjointed and it made her uneasy.

"She is up, yes she knows you're here. She's down poking around her garden." Heather filled in the details. "The Glaive's are early risers." She grinned. "But don't worry we don't expect it from everyone."

"I'm not good in the morning." Willow admitted, "Tara often has to bribe me from my bed… had to." She corrected looking down.

"Well I'm not going to quite offer that level of bribe." Heather laughed lightly trying to ease the tension. "But I have food and imported coffee." She waved at the tray.

"Thank you." Willow glanced back up. "I'm sorry about last night."

"Why?" Heather asked point blank.

"The whole finding a sobbing mess in your driveway isn't a great impression creator. Not that I'm trying to impress." She added hastily wishing she'd just not said anything.

"Willow, if I hadn't of wanted you here I would have left you sobbing in the driveway." Heather smiled and reached out to rub the redhead's hand softly.

"No, you wouldn't have." Willow shook her head.

"Now have your breakfast, the bathroom is down the hall feel free to fall asleep in the tub, it's so comfy." Heather wiped away any worry Willow could feel. "And you'll probably find us in the garden. Hannah said something about planting something or other. She makes me lift stuff. Tru will keep you company, but if she's a pain just tell her to shoo." She patted the dog's head moving to the door. "All right?" She checked while still hanging in the doorframe.

"Thank you Heather." willow looked up with a smile.

"No thank you. You owe me." Heather winked and disappeared down the hall whistling.

Willow sunk into the large deep corner tub and let her eyes close. The warm bubble filled water smelled lightly of rose petals and the gentle jets of the Jacuzzi machine sent the water around her weary body in gentle waves. It was strange to be here in what was obviously, if the bathroom was any indication, an expensive house.

She had no real idea how big it was but she knew it must be at least the size of the Summers house if not bigger. Of course the fact that she was here at all was odd. She certainly hadn't expected Hannah to ask her to stay, but with the professor there seemed to have been no question.

'Everything about her is just a little strange.' Willow thought about the young lecturer for a moment. 'No strange was the wrong word, she is lovely, there's no doubting that. She's genuine and honest.'

That much was obvious to her, but there was something, just something about her that Willow couldn't work out. That thought made the redhead laugh at herself.

'Like you're such a good judge of character Will.' She chided herself and drew a soapy hand out from the water to reach for the body wash on the side. She decided not to think about things too much as she began to wash herself down hoping that perhaps the bath would help make her feel that much better outside than she did inside.

It was a warm day for the time of year and above the bright sun shone mercilessly in a cloudless sky. Near the back end of the large sprawling garden Heather shook the last of the soil out of the bag over the area Hannah had pointed out to her.

"Done." She pulled off her dirty gloves and wiped a hand across her slightly sweaty brow. "Can we have a break now before my back breaks first?"

"Of course, sorry Heath." Hannah apologized softly and rested back on her knees after smoothing her hand over the fresh soil to level it.

"No worries, you want lemonade?" The taller brunette called as she moved over to the bench on the back porch in search of shade and a cold drink. She poured herself a glass from the pitcher of lemonade waiting for her there.

"No but you go ahead, I might have a pill, my head is banging off this morning." Hannah admitted checking that everything was ready to plant the new shrubs.

"Do you want me to run you a bath when Willow's done?" Heather questioned between gulps of cold drink.

"No that might just make it worse." Hannah got up slowly from her knees and pulled off her gloves. She ran her fingers over her forehead and grimaced.

"Go lie down, I'll get your pills and an ice pack for you." Heather put down her glass.

"How was our house guest this morning?" Hannah shook her head to the offer and moved to the porch. She took a needed seat in a green and white striped chair with well-worn cushions.

"Startled. I don't think she's used to the Glaive hospitality." Heather sat down.

"Well you do like to spoil people so." Hannah gave a rare wide smile.

"I do it for the smiles." Heather smiled back at her. "And spoiling is fun."

"I'm sure Pandora won't complain." Hannah shook her head and frowned again as her obviously severe headache flared.

"Come on sis, time to give in." Heather frowned slightly. "I think maybe we should make another appointment with the neurologist too."

"It's probably just tension." Hannah shook off Heather's concern.

"Either way, time to rest. Just for an hour or so, I'll make you that nice Greek salad you like for a late lunch." Heather continued.

"I thought you planned on taking our guest into university." Hannah reached for a glass of lemonade, misjudging it she knocked the glass sideways spilling it a little before catching it and righting it. "Shit." She cursed shaking her now wet hand.

"Yes, but that was before you needed me." Heather moved over gracefully, pulling down her shirtsleeve to wipe off her sister's hand.

"It's just a little headache." Hannah relaxed back into the chair for a moment.

"Yeah and I'm your little sister." Heather smiled and finished fixing the mess. "Little headaches are my specialty."

"Morning." Willow's quiet voice inquired from behind the pair and caused Hannah to leap a little in her chair. The older witch's right hand flexed around the plastic arm.

"Willow, I'm disappointed the tub didn't suck you in." Heather's hand went down over her sister's to soothe her.

"Sorry." Willow apologized for both startling Iris and for somehow disappointing Heather.

"No, no Pandora it's fine." Hannah mumbled quietly.

"Well I know the tub will demand a rematch one day." Heather stood up fully. "Do you want lemonade? I was just convincing Hannah to give into her headache."

"I'd love one." Willow nodded happy for the offer.

"Freshly squeezed, or mixed, or I'm not quite sure but it's good." The younger brunette laughed as she poured Willow a tall icy glass and handed it to her.

"Well it looks like it should be great." Willow smiled too and sipped the drink. "Tastes like it too." She complimented.

"Why don't I get us some pretzels or something and we can enjoy the sun?" She questioned backing towards the house. "And I'll get you a pill Hannah." She disappeared in a flash.

"Forgive my sister, she's a little overzealous at times." Hannah relaxed back a little more in the chair. She reached down to pick up the wide brimmed gardening hat nearby. Willow lingered behind the table taking in the long rectangular garden.

"She's very generous, you both are." Willow replied turning her attention to watch the frail woman almost sadly.

"This is the world that Heather controls, she always makes sure that everyone gets as much as they need." Hannah fitted the hat to block more of the light from her eyes. "How are you feeling?"

"Better. I already said it to Heather but I should to you, I'm sorry I don't know what I was thinking turning up like that last night." Willow babbled looking down into her drink.

"What happened?" Hannah didn't accept the apology.

"I went to the dance." Willow tried to explain.

"And?" Hannah pushed.

"Tara was there." Willow felt her throat tighten as she gave more information.

"With someone else?" The older woman's voice went softer.

"With Buffy yes." Willow nodded.

"Buffy?" Hannah was surprised that Willow put a name to the other involved.

"My best friend, Buffy, is Tara's new girlfriend." Willow explained though she wasn't sure how she managed.

"Oh." Hannah was obviously shocked by the news. "Sit." She pointed to the other chair when she saw Willow falter. Thankfully Willow sat down without any other instructions. "The one you resurrected?" The older woman started her inquisition softly.

"Yes." Willow drew in another tight breath.

"How did it happen?" Hannah reached out a shaky hand and took another sip of her lemonade.

"How did what happen?" Willow asked glumly.

"How did they come together?" Hannah clarified.

"I'm not sure." Willow frowned and rubbed her hand into her forehead gently.

"After or before she left you?" Hannah took a deep breath not sure if her head was up to a hard session of questions with the redhead, but she tried to give her all.

"After. Tara would never do that to me, to anyone." Willow clarified quickly not wanting Iris to think badly of Tara.

"So what made you upset seeing them last night?" Hannah turned her face, though it was partially obscured by the shade of the hat. "And please remember I'm not asking this cause I don't want you to be here Willow, I just want us both to understand what happened."

"Because Tara was at a Valentines dance with someone else, not with me and she should be with me. I love her." Willow said sadly. "Even though I don't deserve her."

"You'll always love her." Hannah reached over the short distance to pat the redhead's hand. "That emotion will never die, but you must learn to manage it."

"I want her back so much." Willow wanted to curl up and just sob.

"Pandora..." Hannah shifted slowly forward, her voice softer. "Willow, if that is your goal, truly your goal, then there are many things you have to fix first."

"It's not." Willow said sitting back. "I wouldn't take her from Buffy. Last night when I saw them, they looked so, so good together. Tara looked safe and happy, the two things she needs to be. The two things I need her to be. I did it to her twice Iris." She suddenly admitted softly.

"Twice?" Hannah was stalled by the idea but quickly tried to regain her composure. Willow nodded her head dropping down in complete shame. "Pandora, you have much to do for yourself." Hannah's voice was firm. "Or we are going to lose you to a darkness that even you have not seen, and when you do it will not just turn your vision black, it will turn the very tips of your soul to soot."

Patrol that week had been pretty mundane for the Slayer. Even Xander had decided to tag along after her many accounts of dark hours with nothing so much as a newly risen vampire.

It seemed that the young man's presence had done something to change her luck when they'd been traveling a back alley area only to have the concrete give way and deposit them in the middle of a burrowed tunnel. Desperately needing a challenge Buffy had led Xander down the few hundred feet till they'd emerged in a store basement. It seemed the demons of Sunnydale had now taken to theft and she was more then willing to teach them the consequence of breaking the law in her jurisdiction. The half dozen gray skinned Enono demons had been good fighters, but with the distraction of trying to turn Xander into a meal Buffy had managed to kill them all.

Now as they made their way across the cemetery for one last lap of patrol Buffy twirled the long staff she'd taken off on of the Enono demons amusing herself as they weaved through the crypts and tombstones. Xander shuffled nearby his hands deep in his pockets.

"What about a necklace? She's always going on about how she's missing her old one." Buffy offered into there ongoing conversation on what to get Anya for a wedding present. "Something that says, you're my ex-demon now."

"I'm thinking the whole marrying her thing will do that." Xander countered.

"Xander you have to get her a present for that morning, it's like tradition." Buffy twirled the staff again. "Sorta a please show up at the wedding thing."

"I know I know, its just I don't know what to get her." The young man sighed.

"Hold that thought." Buffy raised an eyebrow as she watched a spray of dirt erupt from the grave up ahead. Moving over around the growing dirt pile beside the hole she was surprised to see the back of Spike's familiar leather duster at the bottom. "Spike what are you doing?"

"I thought vampires liked to rise out of their graves not dig deeper." Xander commented as he drew up along side Buffy looking down.

"Just bugger off both of you, I'm busy." Spike grumbled not looking up.

"Spike, stop bothering the dead." Buffy poked the long staff down into his shoulder. "This guy... ewwwwwww...." She looked at the headstone. "This was a four year old Spike, get the hell out of that grave." She snapped at him after she got over her initial horror.

"Look why can't you just go bother some early riser or something and leave me alone? Its not like I'm hurting anything." There was a dull thud as Spike's shovel hit the wooden coffin top below him.

"You're disturbing the dead Spike." Buffy poked him again. "Get out!"

"Would you stop doing that, that is bloody annoying?" Spike turned and snarled at her before he tossed the shovel out and up onto the grass.

"I doubt they buried him with enough pocket change to get any smokes Spike." Xander quipped in.

"Ha, ha funny boy here is in top mode." Spike hunkered down and started shifting soil by hand only to discover that in fact it wasn't a wooden casket at all but a black metal one. The reality made him curse under his breath.

"What are you digging for?" Buffy positioned the pole inches from poking him.

"Sodding hell!" He cursed as he tried to pull the lid up only to find it sealed.

"What..." She poked him in the spine when he ignored her. "Are you digging for?" She poked him again.

"Look Slayer I thought we had a deal, I don't bother you and the little bird you've taken to shagging and you leave me alone." Spike looked up at her and swatted at the pole.

"Hey watch it!" Xander kicked a spray of dirt over his head. "And just answer the questions."

Spike spat out the soil that the spray cascaded down onto him and scowled up at Xander before smiling oddly.

"Spike, digging up little kids is even off the creepy chart for you." Buffy rolled her eyes at him.

"Now you see I can understand why sidekick boy here is upset." He ignored Buffy as he pushed up and climbed out of the hole. "I mean it must be unnerving first you like Red, and she turns gay then you have a thing for the Slayer and what do you know, she starts batting for the same team. Gotta make a bloke wonder." He looked Xander up and down grinning. "Where's the chatty bird tonight? Out with her girlfriends?"

"Buffy, hit him." Xander snapped angrily.

"Xander, you didn't make any of us bat for anything." Buffy rolled her eyes. "Come on Spike, why are you digging up this poor kid?"

"Like you care." Spike shook the dirt off his duster.

"I'm the Slayer, it's my job to care when vampires dig up graves." Buffy pointed out. "Traditionally you dig out of them."

"I have a friend who needs some bones." Spike shrugged as if it meant nothing in the world.

"What friend would need the bones of a kid?" Buffy narrowed her eyes at him.

"A guy who likes little skeletons." Spike shrugged again.

"To do what with?" Buffy waved the pole at him.

"How do I bloody know?" Spike sidestepped away from the weapon.

"Fill it in." She pointed to the reopened grave.

"Are you sodding crazy? It's just taken me an hour to dig the bloody thing." Spike huffed at her idea.

"Fill it in." Buffy restated firmly.

"I will fill it in when I got what I need." Spike replied slickly.

"Spike, you know I'm not going to let you deliver bones to some wacko friend." Buffy shook her head. "Fill it in or I'll have a few of your bones to give to your friend."

"Okay don't get your Slayer knickers in a twist." Spike bent down and picked up the shovel. "Obviously shagging Blondie hasn't improved your temper." He whispered as he forced a shovel full of dirt back into the hole. "Knew she wouldn't be able to satisfy a slayer." He chuckled to himself.

Xander glared at him until he saw the Slayer just shrug off the insult.

"Just fill in the damn hole, I'm going to scout the rest of the cemetery." She waved for Xander to watch him.

"So is she still forcing you all to live with the farce?" Spike made an attempt to talk to Xander as the Slayer walked away. Methodically he pushed the dirt back into the hole.

"What farce?" Xander questioned moving over to sit on a headstone nearby.

"Oh come on boy, Buffy and Tara? I mean hello? Doesn't take a genius to tell that this is just another way Red messed up when she brought the Slyer back." Spike scoffed.

"You think she messed up and made Buffy like girls?" Xander raised an eyebrow.

"Oh come on what else could it be? You knew Buffy, our Buffy, she wouldn't look twice at a bird like Tara." Spike laughed.

"First off, she's not ours cause she is not yours." Xander pointed out. "And well you know people change. They're cute together."

"Cute!" Spike laughed more. "Yeah which bit of you is telling you that?" He glanced over at Xander's midriff.

"Oh just shut up!" Xander snapped moving over to the hole. "Or I won't help you."

"Like I bloody care if you help me or not." Spike shrugged at the offer.

"So what the hell did you want kiddie bones for anyway?" Xander questioned.

"Like I said I have a friend, he wanted kid bones, I can get kid bones. Its a simple deal." Spike replied more or less ignoring Xander's presence.

"Creepy." Xander shivered.

"Creepier than marrying a demon or shagging a witch?" Spike put forward watching the look of question on Xander's face for a moment before continuing to work. His smug look after tripping the Scooby up was obvious.

Buffy looked around at everyone. Basically after many hours of research they had nothing. Not a basic or long shot of a reason on why someone would need children's bones.

"I think it's just for creep factor." Dawn piped up from the corner. She was sweeping the store as part of her Anya designated tasks now that the demon knew she had been stealing from the store.

"Well it's certainly creepy." Tara backed up the teenager's assessment.

"Oh no it's bound to be sinister." Anya contradicted.

"Anything in the memory banks baby?" Xander looked up from his dusty book.

"Oh the usual really. Throughout history there were many who liked to hang mini skeletons around for the love of it, there were those who believe that having the skeleton of a child in the house or village would ward of illness and the death of other children. You know a sign to the angel of death that a child had already been taken." She informed them all. "Then there were the opposite type, those that created curses specifically for children. Using the bones of the dead but that's all very medieval."

"She's right." Tara added credibility as the crude references made her remember some things. "Ancient European history is full of the ideas of charms and curses." The former demon and the witch shared an appreciative smile with one another.

"So the bones are most likely to be used in a charm?" Buffy questioned trying to get to the bottom line.

"Probably." Anya assessed. "Or of course there could just be a demon who likes to munch on them." She added with a shrug.

"The question is who would have the power to make a charm like that?" Buffy put out to the group.

"Anyone can make a charm Buffy, just like anyone can cast a spell." Willow said very quietly. "All you need is the book that tells you how."

"Okay so not high magic, good to know." Buffy smiled softly at the hacker.

"Or very high." Tara hated to be the one to contradict but she felt she had too.

"So we've either got a 'Jonathon and his magic bone' type or someone with some real talent?" Buffy summed up and both spell casters nodded.

"Or a demon that likes to munch on them." Anya put in again not letting the option go.

"Or hungry demon." Buffy nodded. "So any ideas on how I find the creep master and make him or her think twice about bone charms?"

"Or a medieval vampire who likes alternative decorations." Anya followed her thinking through trying to be helpful.

"Let's stick with our top three." Buffy gave her a tight smile.

"Following Spike would seem our best option." Willow offered closing the lid of her laptop.

"Well Xander and I could do that, if you guys can keep up research mode?" Buffy suggested.

"Oh no, Xander can't do that." Anya shook her head and stood up.

"Xander can't do that why?" He was already stood up and ready to go when he asked the question.

"Well despite the fact that you promised me we would go home early and look at the ten new bridal books that came in the mail." Anya pointed out the fact to him and the group. "And if there is a creepy little guy out there making charms with baby bones I am not letting you near him, I don't want anything getting in the way of your baby making equipment."

"Okay, no talk of Xander and babies." Buffy shivered. "I can track Spike, while everyone researches okay?"

"It's logical to think that Spike isn't going to be doing anything while its light, it's probably best to wait till this evening." Willow put forward. "We should let Spike do his digging thing, no matter how…" She shivered. "Creepy. Then we know he'll have something to deliver and you could follow him then. There seems little point in tracking him before her had anything to deliver."

"Good point Will." Buffy sat down at the round table.

"Does this mean I get someone to take me to sale at Penny's?" Dawn perked up immediately almost dropping her broom.

"Well if I can't track spooky Spike till dark, yep." Buffy stood up. "You don't mind me leaving you two to research?" She looked at Tara and Willow.

"I'm a book gal." Willow smiled unevenly and Tara just shook her head to say she didn't mind at all.

"Okay come on Dawn." Buffy moved over but not after a moment of eye contact with Tara to elicit a gentle smile from her. Knowing that there was nothing else she could really help with, Buffy led Dawn out the front door.

"Now in case someone comes in to buy anything, please be helpful like you promised." Anya fussed around the till and then moved to stand in the middle of the shop beckoning to Xander. "I'm taking Xander home. Make sure you leave through the back and lock all the doors."

"Have fun with the books guys." Xander followed her looking about as excited about wedding magazines as a condemned man. Tara waved silently as they left.

"Should we compile a list of possible charms cross-referenced with the bones they would use?" Willow put her head in a book so that it almost obscured her words.

"That would be good." Tara looked over all the titles on the table pushing away those books that simply weren't needed. "We could use one of the spreadsheet things you're good at." She smiled softly.

"Okay. We'll have to try to get Buffy to give us a good description so we can know what bones." Willow opened her laptop again. "We can start by making a generic list, you know with children bones, possibly sub sectioning it with infant and baby bones spells."

"Lots of work to do." Willow began typing, her focus glued on the screen.

"Work is good." She whispered to herself when she briefly glanced up to see Tara flick open a few books and begin scanning their indexes.

"Too many bones, work is bad." Willow pushed the computer away and sighed. Glancing to the front of the store the darkness outside made her frown. "Creepy time." She noted softly.

"Very creepy." Tara agreed as she glanced at the dark sky. The young Wicca had curled herself into a large chair with an old tome on her lap.

"Any guesses on who our big bad is this time?" Willow tried to make conversation as she massaged her temple.

"No one we can't beat." Tara said in an assured voice.

"Hopefully he doesn't make us all sing again, or turn into toddlers." Willow mused with a slight frown.

"That would be more than creepy." Tara smiled gently. "How are you Will?" She tacked the question onto her sentence.

"I'm okay." Willow shrugged. "I'm in a magic anonymous group." She stated unsure if the blonde knew or not. "I have this great ex-witch helping me get in a better headspace." She wanted Tara to know how hard she was trying.

"That's really good." Tara nodded. "How's home life?"

"Iris is really cool, she's done all kind of magic." Willow recounted then stopped herself as she registered Tara's new question. "It's okay, Mom and Dad aren't home much. Sorta just like high school."

"You've not thought about…" Tara hesitated. "You know, moving back in with Buffy?" She asked delicately.

"No. I mean Buffy and Dawn are great and I miss it but..." Willow faltered. "It's just... maybe I need my own place for a bit."

"Willow." Tara sat forward a little and placed her hand on the table within easy reach of the hackers. Willow looked at her hand for a moment then back up to blue eyes. "Dawn and Buffy aren't the only ones who miss you." She said slowly making sure that every word she said was the right one.

"I miss you too." Willow felt her voice tighten as she spoke.

"I miss you're friendship so much Will." Tara felt her lip tremble slightly.

"Friendship..." The hacker squeaked out the word. "It's very important." She tacked on, remembering Iris' words. She had to remember what she had done, and take was what offered, not what even she knew she didn't deserve.

"It is." Tara took a deep breath.

"It's just... I don't want to crowd you two. And I don't want to drag anyone down while I'm getting the whole magic thing in order." Willow held blue eyes trying to explain.

"Willow I…" Tara took another breath listening to every word, she inched her fingers closer to the thin ones resting on the edge of the laptop and placed two fingertips so that they barely touched the hacker's hand. "I forgive you Willow." She whispered. "For what you did, I want you to know that."

"How can you?" Willow's head hung for a moment as tears swelled in her eyes.

"I can because I love you, because I honestly think that if you had the chance to do it over you wouldn't do it to me." Tara explained her voice shaking a little.

"I wouldn't, oh Goddess Tara I wouldn't." Willow's voice was full of conviction.

"I know and I believe that now." Tara drew in a breath. "Which is why I forgive you but I know that you are a long way from forgiving yourself."

"I can't forgive myself." Willow shook her head. "I did the most horrible thing ever, I did it twice and I lost you." She took a staggered breath. "And now you're with Buffy, and you're happy and it hurts even more cause I won't ruin that, I won't, I can't get in the way. I want you to be happy." She held Tara's eyes. "I want you to be safe."

"Yes, you did hurt me Willow." Tara stated not harshly, not nastily just factually. "And yes I am happy with Buffy, and I am safe." She slowly got up and crossed around the table. She stood directly beside Willow's chair. "But I know you won't ruin anything, and you won't get in the way because you love both of us so much. But we need you to be safe and happy too." She added softly.

"I know." Willow looked up at her.

"I didn't do this to hurt you Willow, to make you face what you had done or anything like that." Tara met her eyes. "I did this, because I'm in love with Buffy."

"I know." Willow nodded softly. "And I know I'm not great with it all the time, but that's a me thing and I'm trying to do better."

"Willow this isn't about you doing great, or anything else, we all need to address this in our own time and own way. I started this conversation for one reason only." She blinked gently. "To tell you I miss you and I am proud of you."

"I'm proud of you too." Willow whispered.

"Of me?" Tara frowned gently.

"For being strong enough to not let what I did keep you from loving Buffy." Willow didn't know how she got the words out as one part of her soul ragged against them. Tara was supposed to be with her, not Buffy! It was a cosmic rule. Wasn't it?

"Willow, what you did didn't make me stop loving you." Tara admitted biting her lip. "It just made it impossible for us to be together. I couldn't be with someone who could do that to me and not even understand what it was they had done. But I think now you understand what you did."

"But we still can't be together?" Willow knew she shouldn't have asked but a part of her just needed the confirmation, a confirmation that came when Tara shook her head. "Just getting that into my thick head." Willow nodded and gave a tiny smile. "Iris said its one of those things I have to focus on."

"Iris sounds like she's good for you." Tara knelt on the floor by Willow's chair.

"No, she makes me feel terrible most of the time. But in a good way." Willow wiped at her eyes.

"Is there a good way to feel terrible?" Tara asked gently fighting back the urge to wipe away the hacker's tears herself.

"Somehow she finds it." Willow smiled a little more. "I guess cause I know she's been right where I am that she can say what she does cause she's tying to help me."

"Did she have a hard time with dark magic?" Tara questioned carefully.

"Her girlfriend was killed and she resurrected her." Willow spoke softly realizing how simple in a way she was making it all sound. "But she wasn't right, and it totally ruined Iris forever."

"Goddess." She breathed having not been prepared for that.

"That's why when she points out stuff that hurts I know she's been there." Willow went further. "And her sister Heather is really nice."

"You sound like you're finding your way Will." Tara said lovingly.

"It's hard, but I'm trying." The redhead conceded.

"Don't stay away from your home because of me." Tara instructed gently.

"It's not just that." Willow shook her head. "I need to figure out who I am now, where I'm going, what I want." She tried to explain.

"We'll be here when you decide." Tara nodded softy.

A key turned in the front door and the Slayer stormed into the Magic Box looking less than happy. She was on top of the table bitching about the outcome of her hunt before she even realized both Tara and Willow had fallen asleep in their books.

"I can't believe it!" She grumbled sitting down and startling them both. "I lost him."

"Huh what?" Tara tipped sideways dropping her book.

"All hands on deck!" Willow jumped up to and looked around disoriented.

"I lost him! I followed him all the way to the docks and then poof he was gone." Buffy threw up her hands.

"Poof? Spike can poof?" Willow rubbed her eyes and looked at Buffy.

"I didn't think he could but he did." The Slayer pouted. "I let him go around a corner then snuck up behind him and poof… he was gone, no Spike, anywhere."

"A corner where?" Willow sat back in her chair.

"Down between the smelly fish processing plant and the place where they store the containers down at the docks." Buffy filled in.

"And it was a poof and not just a slink into the shadows?" Tara checked.

"It was a one second there, blink, next second gone." Buffy pouted more. "No shadows, that's why I'm so late I checked the shadows."

"We could go and check his crypt." Tara reached to pick up her coat.

"Been there." Buffy shook her head. "He's gone."

"We can try tomorrow." Tara tried to stay positive.

"Just creeps me out that Spike is pawning off children's bones for who knows what." Buffy shivered. "Did you guys have any luck?"

"We made a list." Willow turned the lap top round showing Buffy the on screen display.

"Wow, and now I feel really dumb cause what is the list telling me Will?" Buffy grinned at her.

"It's telling you what they could be used to do." Willow explained.

"Helping us narrow down the type of person who would want them." Tara backed up.

"So big ugly..." Buffy read the titles. "Small ugly, decorations and demon eating." She read further. "What's this last one? Manipulation?"

"Yeah." Willow smiled.

"Meaning?" Buffy looked at her a bit confused.

"Well it was an obscure reference but voodoo techniques often used chicken bones thrown or scattered over a remade magical board to predict the future or the likelihood a spell will be successful." Willow explained. "Apparently there is a very frowned upon technique of dark voodoo magic whereby the caster uses the finger bones of a child that has died a violent death to manipulate the successfulness of his spells."

"Okay super creepy factor." Buffy frowned.

"Surprisingly enough none of them are nice." Tara smiled.

"I'm getting that picture." Buffy smiled at the blonde.

"What time is it?" Tara asked gently of either woman.

"Two." Willow turned her watch over and read the time.

"We shouldn't be here." Tara yawned.

"Home time, re-group tomorrow?" Buffy suggested and the two witches were only too happy to agree.

Part Twelve

Buffy moved out of Dawn's room without a sound and made sure to not let the door make any noise either to alert the sleeping teenager that they were home. She was a little surprised that Dawn was in bed already, not that it wasn't late but the teenager had a tendency to wait up on the night she was late and a big bad was lurking. Moving back stealthily to her own room she was careful to lock her door behind her, a movement that didn't disturb the blonde stood near the window brushing her hair.

"Hey pretty girl." Buffy moved over and flopped on the bed beginning to feel the long day catching up with her.

"You know until you told me to drop Will off first I didn't realize I was coming back tonight." Tara put the hairbrush down on the dresser.

"Why wouldn't you?" Buffy looked up at her.

"Because I don't live here Buffy." Tara reminded gently.

"Yes, but you're going too or did I miss a conversation?" Buffy frowned.

"No, I am. After we've talked to everyone it effects." Tara clarified with a soft smile.

"I haven't mentioned it to Dawn cause of the whole tell her last thing." Buffy smiled back. "Though preliminaries investigations while at the mall came in with her very excited by the possibility."

"Really?" Tara asked interested.

"Yes, she's all for it, as long as we're not all mushy apparently." Buffy laughed remembering her sister's face.

"Which we never are!" Tara smirked and raised her eyebrows.

"Never!" Buffy put on her serious face. "How was Willow at the shop?" She found her serious face leading to a serious question.

"She was good." Tara smiled thinking of the encounter. "She's getting there slowly."

"I'm glad. She's looked really rough a few times over the last week." Buffy appraised showing how obviously worried for the redhead she was.

"I think in some ways the group she's going to is hard work." Tara nodded trying not to dwell on the fact that the reality of her statement could be a good or bad thing.

"This Iris sounds like a tough cookie." Buffy rolled over on her back stretching her arms off the bed.

"She does, though I think Will needs it." Tara watched the Slayer as she eased down to sit on the edge across from her lover.

"I worry though, you know… because if Iris is like Amy and is into all the witchy stuff she might drag her down." Buffy brought one leg up towards her shoulder and stretched.

"Buffy I think its fair to say whoever this Iris is, magic isn't something she'd return too." Tara smiled gently turning to shift up onto the bed and crossing her legs.

"Maybe I should check her out?" Buffy offered feeling protective over Willow and her recovery.

"You could." Tara conceded knowing she couldn't do anything without probably making the whole process harder for the hacker.

"I will." Buffy solidified the idea in her mind. "So did you want to go back to the dorm?" She asked the question in a softer voice.

"No." Tara shook her head and moved across the bed. "I want to be where you are." She reached out and played with the end of the Slayer's hair.

"I'm right here." Buffy grinned and looked up towards the approaching blonde.

"I think I need to tell Willow something." Tara moved closer to Buffy. "About the promise, about what I asked from her." She continued in a soft slightly scared voice.

"I do think you should tell her, but is she ready to hear it?" Buffy reached out and stroked Tara's knee.

"I don't know." Tara admitted then sighed. "Probably not."

"Do you need to tell her?" Buffy questioned softly. "In a right now sense."

"No, anything I tell her I tell her when she's ready. Its not about me, I can't be selfish in this." Tara shook her head.

"I think she needs to be a little more stable, but you should tell her." Buffy nodded her support to the plan.

"Do you think Spike is mixed up in something bad?" Tara suddenly changed the subject.

"Knowing Spike... yes." Buffy nodded. "Just even children's bones seems extra creepy for him."

"We can go tomorrow and ask him." Tara suggested hoping the 'we' in her offer wouldn't upset the Slayer. It wasn't that she didn't trust Buffy, more that she really didn't trust Spike.

"Yep, tomorrow is another day to kick Spike's ass." Buffy nodded.

"At least he seems better about us." Tara pointed out feeling a little safer since the vampire had stopped viewing the Slayer as a daily target.

"I think he's afraid of you." Buffy winked at her.

"He should be, I can be frightening." Tara chuckled at the idea. She really couldn't serious think of anyone being afraid of her though.

"You? I don't see it, usually though I'm too stunned by your gorgeousness." Buffy smiled up at her lover.

"You know you can be quite the charmer Buffy Summers." Tara moved closer.

"I just have a way with the women." Buffy tried to keep a straight face then had to laugh at herself. The blonde giggled as she settled over her lover's body.

"You tired?" Tara questioned keeping a small distance between them.

"Mmmmm not so much, you?" Buffy realized she was far from sleepy, especially with the close proximity of Tara.

"No." Tara blinked her blue eyes slowly.

"Whatcha wanta do?" Buffy bounced her feet on the edge of the bed causing the blonde above to rock into her slightly.

"We could do word puzzles." Tara lay down beside Buffy.

"Word puzzles?" Buffy made a face. "That what you want to do?"

"I should take a photograph of you pulling that face." Tara chuckled softly.

"Why?" Buffy laughed.

"Because you verge on looking cute." The Wicca outlined and waited for the horrified look she soon received.

"Cute? The Slayer cute?" Buffy scoffed at the idea.

"I said verge." Tara laughed. Buffy smiled and leaned forward pressing their lips together in her usually impatient way.

"We could, do that thing." Tara said kissing her lover back gently.

"What thing?" Buffy quizzed kissing her over and over.

"You know that thing," Tara moved her hand over Buffy's waist.

"The thing where we… you know." Buffy smiled and shifted closer kissing Tara again.

"Yes, that thing." Tara nodded tilting her head as Buffy kissed her over and over.

"I really like that thing." Buffy whispered putting her hand onto Tara's back to urge her to shift.

"I like it too." She shifted closer. "In fact I love it."

"Much loving of the thing." Buffy grinned and pressed closer still.

"Is Dawnie asleep?" Tara checked knowing that if the teenager was still up the thing wouldn't be possible. They had made an informal rule to not get caught in a compromising position while Dawn was around.

"Totally unconscious." Buffy kept her grin.

"So we could do that thing?" Tara chuckled moving her hand to Buffy's shoulder.

"Oh yes, the thing is very doable." Buffy ran her hand down Tara's back.

"You want to?" Tara checked.

"I want to, do you?" Buffy double-checked.

"I think I was the one that mentioned it." Tara gave a smile.

"Love you mentioning it." Buffy leaned in and kissed her again, the contact longer and more exploring.

"Think you can wear me out again?" Tara smiled as the kiss slowed.

"Mmmmm only if you want me too." Buffy's hand sneaked up under the edge of the blonde's sweater.

"I could try and reverse the challenge." Tara's eyes sparkled.

"Do you think you're up for that?" Buffy gave her a wide smile.

"The question is are you?" She put the challenge forward bravely.

"Oh I think I might have an advantage." Buffy ran her nails softly down Tara's back.

"What's that then?" Tara let her fingers run unchecked over Buffy's body.

"Slayer stamina, knowing how to distract you… just to name two." Buffy repeated the motion and Tara ached for a moment breathing quicker.

"True and true!" She conceded.

"But you think you can wear me out?" Buffy questioned her fingers running over the blonde's soft skin.

"No, in fact, I give in." In a sudden move Tara flopped back onto the bed. "Ravish me." She giggled.

"My pleasure." Buffy shifted over the blonde and leaned down kissing her deeply. Tara kissed her back and then pulled away gently.

"Darling…" Her voice was thick with love as she ran a finger through Buffy's hair.

"I smell like the fish plant don't I?" Buffy blushed and laughed.

"Kinda fish, mixed with soil and crypt air." Tara cringed gently.

"Ewww, you should have told me sooner." Buffy pulled back off the bed and stood up. "Shower?"

"I get lonely when you go off to shower." Tara pouted slightly.

"Come with then." Buffy held her hand out grinning.

"But Buffy, what if Dawnie needs the bathroom?" Tara reached out for the hand even though she brought up her argument.

"We'll lock the door." Buffy shrugged it off. "I don't think she's going to be up, she's got her stuffy in a death grip."

"Did you get the lock mended?" Tara eased off the bed as she checked.

"Yes, Xander fixed it on the weekend." Buffy smiled at her worry. "Tara, Dawn's too asleep when she gets up to go to the bathroom to even notice."

"In that case let's go get wet" Tara smiled and then blushed. "I meant let's go shower."

"You are so cheeky." Buffy laughed as they moved into the bathroom and she released Tara's hand to start peeling off her smelly clothes.

"No that was innocent." Tara blushed more as she locked the door carefully behind them.

"I believe you." She grinned as she pulled off her pants.

"You don't but it was." Tara laughed and shook her head pulling off her clothes until she was stood in just her bra and panties.

"Darling you can't shower in those." Buffy grinned more as she reached over and adjusted the water temperature, she'd already stripped down to nothing.

"I know." Tara reached her hands around her back to her bra strap.

"I won't look promise." Buffy teased with a smirk as she punched the shower on and pulled the curtain back to cover the spray. The entire maneuver was a bit messy with her hand over her eyes.

"Stop it!" Tara laughed smoothly unhooking the bra and drawing it from her body. She then lowered her white cotton panties down her long legs.

"Stop what?" Buffy joked her hand in place as she shifted her weight on one naked hip.

"Teasing me, you know you can look." Tara laughed as her lover finally lowered her hand and gave a long wolf whistle. "Incorrigible." She said softly as she moved closer to Buffy.

"Love you." Buffy was about to move closer when she got a whiff of what Tara had in the bedroom. "Shower." She reminded herself.

"Too right fish girl!" Tara chuckled and pointed to the shower.

Buffy laughed and stepped in under the hot stream of water with a slight groan of relief. Tara watched for a long moment as Buffy's agile and supply body slipped into the cubical.

Buffy pushed herself backwards under the stream to wet down her hair and body. For a moment she worked the water into her hair letting the heat soak into her. She let her head lull back and forth a few times as the stream of massaging water worked the kinks out of her shoulders.

Tara just stood motionless as the water ran in rivulets over her lover's skin, unconsciously licking her lips as Buffy moved slightly under the jets.

It was only when Buffy opened her eyes she realized Tara hadn't moved.

"You joining me or just enjoying the show?" She blushed.

"Sorry." Tara instantly looked away.

"Why are you sorry?" Buffy stopped and just stood there in the water.

"I'm not, not really" Tara looked back. "You are beautiful." The Wicca took small steps forward.

"Charmer." Buffy grinned as she reached down for the shampoo. "Help me wash my hair?"

"Of course." Tara stepped into the cubical.

Tara was slightly amazed as she ran her hands over Buffy's hot wet shoulders, the difference between the feel of Buffy's body wet and dry, the contrast between hot wet skin and heated dry skin was stark. They both knew when Tara had accepted the offer that they had never actually showered together. It had just seemed a natural progression to both of them, and even now as Tara ran long fingers over the muscles in Buffy's shoulders the Slayer remained almost silent. The Wicca moved her hand gently up to massage the base of Buffy's head as she reached for the shampoo. Bringing it up she carefully squeezed a little out onto Buffy's hair.

"Mmmmm." Buffy moaned softly as Tara continued the massage.

Sliding both hands up through the sides of Buffy's wet hair, Tara massaged lightly at the top of Buffy's head her fingertips teasing the shampoo and hair gently into a rich lather.

"Okay I so have to put a vote in for this every shower after patrol!" Buffy groaned as Tara worked.

"Feels nice?" Tara whispered stretching out her fingertips to cover as much of Buffy's head as she could reach, she moved in small controlled circles.

"Feels like heaven." Buffy whispered back.

"Good." Tara arched her fingers high and massaged a little harder. She moved her body close up behind Buffy's so that her breasts rested gently on Buffy's back. Making sure her fingers didn't stop their diligent work Tara dipped her head into Buffy's shoulder and kissed the wet skin lightly.

Buffy pressed back instantly into the contact, some part of her brain also noting the interesting contrast between her wet skin and Tara's dry body.

"You taste better already." The blonde whispered.

"Still requesting a full wash." Buffy whispered back.

"Lets get the shampoo off." Tara guided Buffy to turn and eased her head under the full flow of the hot water. The stream now spilled over them both, washing away the light suds. The Slayer groaned again as Tara's soft hands helped rinse the soap from her hair. Running her hands over and over Buffy's washed hair Tara made sure the shampoo was completely rinsed before she reached for the shower gel.

"What's next?" Buffy asked her voice almost dreamy.

"The rest of you." Tara curled her lips up into a full smile.

"Mmmmm nice shower gel." Buffy grinned.

Tara squeezed the orange scented gel onto her hands and rubbed it lightly within her palms warming it slightly so that the stark contrast between it and the slayers hot body would be lessened.

"Nice smell." Buffy noted as the sharp invigorating citrus scent floated through the steamy environment.

For a moment Tara had to decide where to start, but her hands seemed to be guided by there own motivation working on Buffy's shoulder blades. Tara rubbed and massaged, working with the long toned muscles in her lover's shoulders and then down her back.

"Feels better already." Buffy closed her eyes and enjoyed the sensation.

"Good." Tara moved downwards pressing her fingers into Buffy's butt cheeks in strong round movements and then in long strokes over the backs of the slayer's thighs. Buffy felt her body almost lean back weightless into the blonde's hands. Then slowly she worked her way back up Buffy's skin now soft and almost slippery with the soap.

"Better?" She breathed into Buffy's ear her voice far huskier than she expected.

"Always when I'm with you." Buffy purred back leaning into Tara's body.

"Turn around love." Tar requested softly.

Buffy did so slowly finding that her relaxed limbs didn't response that quickly. Tara squeezed more gel into her hands, rubbing them together slowly.

"Ready?" She checked gently.

"Oh yes." Buffy purred again a little surprised by herself for just wanting to stand her and be pampered.

This time Tara did direct her hands placing them full over Buffy's breasts, her own eyes closing as her fingers and thumbed rubbed over Buffy's curved flesh.

"I should visit the docks more often." Buffy mumbled as she arched into Tara's hands slightly.

She caught her lover's nipples in the webbing between her thumb and forefinger before she teased them gently with concentrated circles. Then the Wicca pushed her hands up over Buffy's chest to her shoulders and down over her arms.

Buffy leaned forward not able to resist anymore as she kissed Tara deeply. Tara met Buffy's kiss eagerly, her hands slid down to Buffy's hips and over her stomach still coating the Slayer's skin with orange scented bubbles.

Sensory wise it was all a bit overloading Buffy realized. The taste of Tara's mouth, the feel of her soap-laden hands, the splash of the water all around them. It was like nothing she'd ever felt.

Tara's hands moved on there own over Buffy's stomach and sides. She devoured Buffy's mouth, sucking lightly on her bottom lip and tongue.

Buffy's hands skimmed over Tara's now wet flesh, massaging and tantalizing.

Eventually Tara pulled her head back a little drawing in a breath.

"Sorry I got a little carried away." She panted realizing that her hands were threading lower. She slid them around to rest on the outside of her lover's thighs.

"Not a bad thing." Buffy panted slightly back at her.

"Let's wash this off." Tara tried to steady her breathing as she moved one hand back to Buffy's shoulder.

Without thinking Buffy kissed the blonde again and pulled her backward into the stream of water. Tara moved easily though she hadn't quite expected to be pulled under the water stream, she quickly appreciated the move as the hot water felt so very good flowing over them.

Buffy felt the soap skim off her body as the water washed over them, though she was focused on their kiss.

"God Buffy." Tara eventually pulled back and out of the water panting hard, her body felt on fire.

"You okay?" Buffy checked worried by the breathy tone. She stroked her hand down Tara's cheek.

"Very alright, just…" She slowed her breathing carefully as she looked up and down at Buffy's naked wet body. "Oh God Buffy I want you." She stepped forward again quickly and pressed her lips onto Buffy's.

"Then have me." Buffy encouraged as the blonde crushed their lips together and she threaded her hands into Tara's damp hair.

Tara smoothed her hand over Buffy's hip and thigh as she cupped the back of Buffy's head with the other. Her tongue explored her lover's mouth completely as one fingertip traced around over Buffy's hip to slide between her legs.

Buffy let one hand trail down cupping Tara's right breast and teasing the already hard nipple. She enjoyed the instant jump and press from her lover's body.

"Oh Tara." She groaned when she felt the blonde's hand reach to where she wanted to be touched most.

"Oh Buffy." Tara echoed as she slid two fingers gently down through the arousal that greeted her between Buffy's legs.

"Mmmmm." Buffy reached up grabbing the rod that held the curtain in place to stabilize herself as she shifted and slid her leg up the blonde's body. "You know just how to touch me." She kissed Tara deeply.

"You tell me how." Tara breathed quickly kissing her back and letting her exploring fingers gently vibrate over Buffy's center. "Your body shows me."

Buffy moaned though the sound was muffled by the pounding noise of the shower. Her hips rocked to the motion Tara set with her nimble fingers.

"Mmm Buffy darling you show me so well." Tara let a third finger join the dance for a while before letting it press into the Slayer's body.

The Slayer moaned Tara's name again as she felt her internal muscles stimulated by Tara's finger while those on the outside moved faster. The contrast made her stomach quiver with pleasure.

"You feel so beautiful." Tara rubbed and massaged her lover inside and out. As they kissed Tara's fingers reacted to Buffy's every flex and spasm, letting her thumb come into play when her lover needed it.

Buffy didn't try to speak, she just leaned in and kissed her lover over and over desperate to show her how amazing she felt. The Slayer's hips began rocking even harder under the attention, the blonde meeting her changes before she even made them. Buffy didn't even know when she had put her other hand on the shower wall to brace herself. Tara wasn't sure either but she felt the Slayer's body shift slightly and so she pressed a little more directly and with more motion.

"Taraaaaa." Buffy drew out the blonde's name with a long deep breath as her eyes opened with a bolt of pleasure.

"Yesss." Tara pressed in deep and hard feeling the jolt hit her lover's center.

"Yesss." Buffy panted back her, her body instantly accepting the harder, deeper rhythm and responding.

If Tara stopped and thought about what she was doing she may have second-guessed herself and may even have stopped. But she wasn't thinking, she was feeling and everything she offered Buffy her lover accepted. Trying something different she pressed deep inside and eased her fingers open slightly, the motion pressing tight against Buffy's body and easing her muscles wider.

"Oh yes." Buffy leaned a little forward resting her head on the taller blonde's body. She felt her muscles fighting against the pressure but the struggle was exquisite.

"Oh Buffy." Tara breathed out hot and fast the feeling almost too much for her as she slide a third finger from its place on Buffy's clit, letting it glide in the newly eased muscles, she left her thumb resting snugly in place over the hard bundle of nerves. "Buffy darling." She stroked faster her own body moving up and against the Slayer's.

"Yesss?" Buffy answered the question in a groan as she felt her body submit to Tara's fingers and the strong loving way they entered her.

"I love you." She pushed in firmer letting her center finger curl forward to massage inside directly on a shivering muscle.

"I know..." Buffy pulled her head up and arched harder into Tara as she moaned. "I know." She whispered against deeply.

"Are you aright? Is this…" Tara breathed suddenly needing to check as she straightened her fingers inside and moved them in and out with less force.

"It's..." Buffy moved her hand from the wall and looped it around the blonde's shoulders. "Amazing." She panted her hips bucking under Tara's exploration.

"Good." Tara leaned forward and closed her lips over the still slightly pink area just visible on Buffy's neck making her finger movements slower but fuller as she let her thumb burr lightly over Buffy's clit.

"Oh God yes." Buffy felt the change in Tara's tempo allow her body to settle into the thick pleasure it was receiving and her internal muscles began shivering with contractions.

Tara pushed gently through the tension, sucking slightly harder as she looped her free hand round Buffy's body and pulled her close. She felt her fingers press deeper in a swift full move.

"I love you." Buffy whispered as she held on tightly to Tara and her hips moved in a hard motion. She moaned out loudly as her body climaxed again and again. Tara was in complete ecstasy as she felt and heard her lover's pleasure.

"How?" Buffy questioned almost surprised as her body reached release again and again without any pause in between.

"How?" Tara asked softly keeping slight control of everything, letting her body innately react to Buffy's sensing when she needed more or less tension and depth though is she was honest Tara was fast approaching the no control zone of orgasm herself.

"How do you do this?" Buffy moaned resting against her lover harder as her body shuddered and shook.

"Like I said, you show me what you need, making love to you is as easy as loving you Buffy." Tara slowed things down a little as she looked into hazel eyes.

"Not as easy as loving you." Buffy kissed her slowly enjoying as her body settled into a high feeling of completeness.

"Oh I don't know, if you have my quirks and foibles." Tara smiled softly kissing her lovingly.

"That you secretly wrote the karma sutra?" Buffy took a slow long breath as she felt the stars settle in the corners of her vision.

"No I meant more, how many people find orange scented shower gel an aphrodisiac?" Tara kissed Buffy's gently.

"I'm buying a case of it." Buffy grinned under the kisses.

Moving her hands very slowly and carefully, Tara moved to fully embrace the Slayer, pulling her forward out of the water jets.

"By the way." She said with a broad smile.

Buffy released her death grip on the shower rod and moved down to fall into her lover's arms. She looked into blue eyes waiting for the rest of what Tara wanted to say.

"I only edited the karma sutra, I didn't write it." She winked.

"Cheeky." Buffy grinned and hugged Tara close.

Heather neatly dropped the unfolded paper napkin in her lap and began drizzling the heavy ranch dressing over her large salad. She knew the university cafeteria could ruin most things, but salad wasn't one of them. With a ravaged hunger after a morning run and two classes, she dug into the leafy mound.

Willow held her clipboard to her and moved through the busy cafeteria. She had planned on picking up a sandwich or something, but she took one look at the line up and decided against it. Eating wasn't high on her list, let alone having to wait a half-hour for the pleasure, so instead she decided to make it a quick trip to the far end of the open area in order to put in some study time at the library. As she glanced up through the busy throng something made her stop; the figure of Heather Glaive sitting on her own, munching on a plate full of salad. She had wanted to find the lecturer to say thank you for her hospitality after the dance.

'Yes, you've already said it ten times but you can never say thank you too much.' The hacker reassured herself as she moved over to the table.

"Dr. Glaive." She said quietly.

"Willow." Heather pulled up her napkin as she finished chewing her mouthful. "Please Heather." She corrected and motioned to the chair next to her.

"I didn't mean to interrupt your yummy looking lunch." Willow gave her a goofy smile.

"Oh it's okay, I think with the size of this salad I might need backup." Heather smiled back.

"How's Hannah." Willow slipped onto the chair.

"She's doing better, finally got her headache to calm down with a shot." Heather recounted sipping her water. "How are you doing?"

"Oh so-so, had a bit of a chat with Tara." The hacker explained somberly.

"Oh, how was it?" She questioned softly.

"Painful." Willow took a breath. "Honest."

"But did it make things better?" Heather slowly ate a small mouthful.

"I think so, well it clarified a few things." Willow nodded thinking back to the night at the Magic Box.

"Clarity is good." Heather nodded with her. "You don't look happy though?" She appraised with a soft frown.

"It didn't clarify good things." Willow sighed.

"She's not leaving Buffy anytime soon?" Heather questioned carefully.

"No, and even if she did…" Willow took a breath and put her clipboard and note pad on the table. "She wouldn't have me back."

"I'm sorry." The doctor reached over and rubbed the hand Willow had left over the clipboard.

"Thanks." Willow found herself looking at the hand that moved over her own. Noting for the first time the almost perfectly manicured and French polished nails. "But I needed to know where Tara is in all this." She tried to find a positive.

"You did, that way you can move forward." Heather squeezed her hand and then picked up her fork again.

"Forward." Willow took a deep breath. "Tara always says that..."

"You shouldn't sit in the cafeteria with no food." A familiar voice cut in and Heather looked up at bit startled at the new arrival.

"Tara!" Willow sat bolt upright in her chair pulling her notebook back to her chest.

"I bought you an apple." Tara offered the green fruit to the redhead.

"Thank you." Willow took it with a big grin. "I couldn't brave the line, but this will be just perfect. Lots of vitamins."

"And no bruises I checked." Tara explained pointing to the apple with a smile.

"Just the way I like it." Willow nodded at the shiny perfect apple." Oh sorry..." She looked at Heather who was sat there silent. "This is Tara, Tara this is Dr. Heather Glaive."

"Nice to meet you." Heather smiled and offered her hand politely.

"And you." Tara offered hers shyly. "I didn't mean to disturb, its just I know that look." She glanced at Willow. "It means I'm going to skip lunch." The Wicca explained. "Thus the reason for the apple."

"Oh no disruption." Willow shook her head and Heather mimicked the motion to make the blonde fell more at ease.

"I was just about to carve her a hunk of this massive salad." Heather explained with a smile.

"Ranching dressing is your favorite Will." Tara smiled genuinely.

"Between the two of you I'll have a full lunch by the end of this." Willow smiled.

"And that would be a crime?" Heather smiled as she pulled the second plate out from under her salad and began dividing to a portion for the redhead.

"I promise no conspiracy." Tara laughed gently.

"Tara, you and Heather would get along great. She's always getting me to eat and spoiling me when I stay over." Willow babbled not realizing how odd her words seemed at first.

"We would I'm sure." Tara agreed and was about to say something else when a tall shadow fell over the table.

"Tair, lecture." Todd's voice called.

"I have to go." Tara apologized softly. "Nice to meet you Heather and eat the apple Will, don't just carry it around all day."

"Nice to meet you too." Heather smiled turning away as they finished.

"I'll eat it right after my salad." Willow assured her and with a little wave Tara slipped away.

"She seems very nice." Heather appraises softly, eating her half of the salad.

"She is." Willow watched for a long moment before turning back to her salad.

"I'm sorry if we ganged up on you, but you really do need to eat." Heather commented softly. "Hannah wouldn't eat at all if I didn't hound her all the time."

"I didn't feel ganged." Willow said with a smile. "She's not over it is she?" She asked trying to sound casual.

"No." Heather shook her head softly not wanting to play and ask Willow what she meant. "But she's trying."

"Everyone's trying." Willow suddenly felt quite sad.

"Trying is good though Willow." Heather tried to lift her spirits. "If no one was trying it would all just be a horrible mess of no one talking and no one even being friends anymore. Trying is a very good thing."

"At least she doesn't hate me." Willow made an attempt to join in the positively.

"She doesn't hate you." Heather confirmed. "I saw no hate."

"Friendship is good huh?" Willow forced herself to smile.

"It's a start." Heather reminded her.

"And a finish." Willow sighed.

"You salad might not cut this one. I think we need something with sugar." Heather reached over and patted the redhead's hand again.

"Need chocolate." Willow confirmed.

"My treat, what's your favorite?" Heather questioned pushing the salad away.

"Anything with coco goodness." She conceded.

"Coming right up." Heather slipped away with her wallet.

Heather had been glad for her connections in the cafeteria and she'd soon returned with an oversized hot chocolate sundae. They'd gorged themselves on it for a while before the sugar seemed to open up the hacker's mood.

"Better?" Heather checked softly as she put down her spoon. She could feel the large ingestion of sugar entering her blood stream and her head swam a bit.

"Much… well in a now I feel all hyper and I bet in about a half hour I'll be feeling really sick stomach." Willow giggled and then put her hand to her mouth. "Did I mention hyper?"

"You did." Heather giggled with her. "I think we should have just skipped the package of Smarties we poured over the top."

"We need multi colored candy coated goodness." The hacker stuck up for the choice.

"I'm going to have to go for an extra long run to work that off." Heather leaned back and sighed contently.

"You run? As in long distances on purpose without anything chasing you?" Willow raised an eyebrow surprised, though looking at the lecturers slim fit body it shouldn't have been that much of a surprise.

"Three or four times a week, usually early just after dawn." Heather nodded and leaned on her elbows on the table.

"Wow, I mean… I can't even think of getting up that early let alone running." Willow continued impressed. "And running is something I usually only do when I'm being chased." She admitted.

"You should come with me, you'd love it. I've found this great trail that loops up around a river." Heather encouraged. "It's so peaceful and invigorating."

"I think the sugar is going to your head." Willow laughed at the idea. "I mean me running…" She thought about it for a minute.

"Come on, let the sugar go to yours too. Agree to come with me, please?" Heather smiled brightly. "Trudeau loves it, how can you not take a testimonial like that?"

"Okay, I'll blame the whipped cream later but I'll give it a try." Willow smiled back indeed feeling the heady rush of the sugar in her system. "Quick give me details before the sugar wears off." She giggled again.

Willow hurried her way through the stream of students. She knew she should have just enough time to find Tara and talk to her before she had to be in her computer lab. She couldn't believe how stupid she'd been, introducing Heather to Tara and talking about how similar they were, how the brunette had spoiled her when she stayed over at the Glaive house. Seeing a familiar head of golden blonde hair she rushed in that direction in the crowd.

"Tara!" She called hating the fact she was short suddenly as she got lost among the moving bodies.

"Willow?" Tara turned scanning the crowd, picking out the redhead with no problem "What's wrong?" She added worried. Willow was about to call out again but realized she'd been spotted.

"I needed to talk to you." The redhead pushed around a group of student's.

"Willow are you okay you look a little… I'm not sure what." Tara's frown deepened.

"Chocolate overload." Willow blew a breath up over her forehead. "But more importantly..." She hugged her books to her body. "I wanted to clear up the whole babbling about Heather, cause she's just Heather, not anyone special, and I surely didn't mean special like you. She's Iris' sister, so we talk a lot about how magic hurts, and well other stuff, but not any of that stuff, just friends. Heather and I, just friends."

"She seems like a nice person to have as a friend." Tara smiled softly. She had to admit she'd had a few thoughts about the woman who Willow had introduced her to earlier but none of them had been negative.

"She is, very nice." Willow nodded glad to see that Tara understood. "It's good to talk with her too, cause she'd never done magic of any kind, but her life has been so effected by it." She filled in more.

"I'm sure having a sister who has had problems…" Tara said gently. "Would have an effect on a younger sibling."

"It did." The redhead nodded. "I just didn't want you to think... well you know."

"Didn't want me to think?" Tara frowned momentarily confused.

"That me and Heather..." Willow blushed.

"Well she's very pretty." Tara smiled watching the blush spread across Willow's face.

"I think she's straight, well she's never mentioned boys but she never mentioned girls either." Willow smiled back realizing it wasn't a worry.

"I think its great you've found a friend who you can talk to." Tara smiled genuinely.

"She wants me to go running with her." Willow laughed lightly.

"Running?" Tara chuckled.

"Me running, she must be crazy. I mean five am in the early morning type running." Willow laughed.

"Just make sure you wear the practical runners not just the cute ones with Hello Kitty on." Tara warned.

"Oh good idea." Willow grinned. "I hadn't even thought of that."

"I thought you were supposed to be in computer lab." Tara glanced up at the corridor clock.

"I am, I just wanted to find you." Willow looked up too. "I'll see you later." She backed off a little. "And I ate the apple."

"Good." Tara gave her an award-winning smile.

Buffy kicked open the crypt door and smiled as she ushered Tara into the dusty whole ahead of her.

"Come out come out Spike, we want to talk to you." Buffy called not sure where in the dirty smelly place he would be lurking.

"Well, well what do we have here?" Spike's voice came from deep in the crypt. "Its the Slayer and her pet pussy... cat." He added after a long moment.

"Spike, cut the witty innuendo. Who are you selling the bones too?" Buffy stayed close to Tara as she asked the questions.

"You're no fun anymore Slayer." The sound of Spike jumping down off a casket in the darkness echoed eerily as did his heavy footsteps.

"Oh I can be, Tara you want to show him the vial." Buffy folded her arms over her chest. Tara dipped her hand into a small pouch around her waist and pulled out a small glass container.

"Oh what's Wendy the friendly witch got there?" Spike drawled.

"Sunshine." Buffy let a slow tight grin spread on her face.

"You wouldn't." He stopped short of the pair and nervously glanced between the two of them.

"Oh you are my sunshine my only sunshine... you make me happy when skies are gray." Buffy slowly walked around the blonde. "Any memory jogs yet Spike? Or should we see how talkative you are with a tan?"

"Look what's the interest?" Spike sighed. "Hey like I care what I deliver."

"First of all children's bones... highly creepy." Buffy stared at him again. "Secondly, highly disturbing and thirdly I don't want some two bit voodoo master putting curses on the children of Sunnydale." She snapped at his complacency. "Tara, I think Spike needs a little light to help him see the answer I want." She smiled at the blonde.

"Look what do you want to know, I have an acquaintance, he wanted bones, I owed him." The vampire summed up his activity.

"Name and where can I find him." Buffy cut to the chase.

"Like I'm going to tell you." He scoffed.

"You are my sunshine my only sunshine." The Slayer grinned at Tara. The Wicca worked her fingers round the stopper.

"Look, look this isn't fair." Spike objected. "I don't know who he is, and as for how you find him I don't know that either."

"Then how do you find him?" Buffy pushed.

"He finds me."

"What does he look like?" Buffy considered for a moment that he was lying to her.

"Well he doesn't have horns or anything like that, just looks like a normal chap." Spike had a pensive look on his face.

"Just into voodoo?" Buffy clarified.

"He could be." Spike shrugged. "Like I say not my business. What he wants to do with little Jimmies leg bone isn't anything to do with me."

"So you owe a favor to a guy you know nothing about? Why am I so not buying this?" Buffy looked at Tara to see her take.

"Look you know as well as I do, no one knows the kind of bloke who collects kids bones for a hobby. A bloke like that's bound to make me look like a good guy." Spike dug his hands into his coat pockets.

"What you think?" Buffy turned her back to Spike and questioned Tara softly.

"I don't see why Spike would lie to us, I mean he maybe a soulless vampire, with bad hair, and that other problem." Tara grinned and winked at Buffy. "But I didn't think he was a liar."

"Okay, no sunshine for Spike." Buffy winked back at her. "But if I hear of you selling any more bones, I'm going to extract a few of yours in payment."

"You going now are you?" Spike turned and began walking back into the gloom.

"Yep." Buffy moved over and pulled the heavy door open for Tara.

"You know Slayer when you and the witch came in, I thought you'd changed your mind about my little offer!" He called as Tara paused in the doorway.

"I'm going too kill him!" Buffy cursed under her breath angry.

"It's not too late." He called louder. "I'm feeling quite, you know…"

Tara glanced at Buffy and then back at the vampire looking down at the small glass vial in her hand. She smiled at her lover and casually tossed it over her shoulder grabbing Buffy's hand at the same time she pulled the Slayer out into the night. The slayer went running with her.

"Bloody Hell!" Spike could be heard shouting before the crypt door slammed shut and a bright white flash briefly flared out of the cracks in the walls.

"What did that do?" Buffy laughed as Spike's swearing continued.

"Basically makes him smell like a skunk." Tara giggled. "It's like a magic stink bomb." The Wicca laughed louder.

"You are a naughty witch." Buffy giggled with her as they walked away through the cemetery.

"But you love me." Tara beamed.

"I do, very much so." Buffy kissed her hand.

Tara grinned and let their hands drop down, swinging them lightly as they walked on.

"Hey Dawnie." Tara said gently as she opened the front door and carried the small bucket of chicken she cradled in her arm and put it down on the table. "Where's Willow?" She added glancing around the hacker was nowhere in sight and her coat wasn't hung on the end of the stairs like it normally was.

"She had to go." Dawn explained pulling open the bucket and grapping a fist full of fries before curling back up in the armchair.

The Wicca slowly pulled off her short denim jacket and dropped it on the couch behind her glancing at her watch as she did so.

"When did she leave?" She asked the teenager.

"Around ten." Dawn replied through a mouthful of fry.

"Don't eat all the thighs." Buffy came in with the second bag of take out, she laid it on the table and hung up her coat. "Where's Will?"

"Gee I wish you two would come in like together so I didn't have to repeat everything." Dawn reached forward deliberately taking a thigh.

"She had to go home." Tara filled in.

"Well I heard a noise in the bushes, but it was just Mr. Rancliff's poodle." Buffy explained glaring at her sister's obvious choice before she took the other thigh from the bucket.

"Apparently she has to be up early tomorrow or something." Dawn nibbled along her chosen piece of chicken. Tara sat down and picked up one of the drinks taking a small sip.

"Willow up early?" Buffy raised a suspicious eyebrow.

"She must start her new running program tomorrow." Tara said casually reaching forward for a fry.

Both of the Summers' sisters stopped and nearly choked on their chicken.

"Willow's going running?" Dawn questioned finally.

"With Heather." Tara nodded smiling at the teenager.

"Whose Heather?" Dawn queried. "Oh wait her friend Heather from the university?" Tara nodded drinking more of her soda.

"Okay, why is Buffy out of the Heather friend of Willow's loop?" Buffy pouted.

"There's no loop sweetie." Tara smiled reaching out to pat Buffy's leg.

"Yean there is, and Buffy isn't in it!" Dawn stuck out her tongue.

"Dawnie." Tara warned gently giving the teenager a look that was possibly meant to be severe but from Tara ended up looking just like a crooked smile.

"Okay, no teasing Buffy." Dawn laughed as she grabbed a drink and another handful of fries.

"Willow has a new friend Heather Glaive." Tara looked directly at her lover.

"Heather Glaive?" Buffy raised an eyebrow.

"She's a lecturer." Dawn put in knowledgably while chewing noisily on her fries.

"Where did they meet?" Buffy questioned scoffing down fries.

"At university lame brain." Dawn teased. "You know the place where lecturers work"

"Ha ha, you should be in bed." Buffy pointed out.

"Hello eating." Dawn countered.

"Hello piglet." Buffy pointed a fry at her with a grin.

"Why don't you take some upstairs?" Tara suggested with a big smile.

"You staying over?" Dawn asked standing up and commandeering more fries and the last thigh. She glanced up at Tara who in turn glanced at Buffy.

"If she would like." Buffy grinned.

"Its no big deal I just want to know whether or not to take my Walkman to bed." The teenager grinned and made a dash for the stairs.

"Why would you take your walkman to bed?" Buffy asked stupidly not realizing what her sister was eluding too.

"Tara, oh Tara!" Dawn called from the stairs laughing loudly.

"DAWN!" Buffy screamed horrified.

"Hey you guys I'm kidding." Dawn stopped.

"Not funny." Buffy had her angry face on. Dawn sighed and stomped up the stairs. Tara sat back on the couch surprisingly enough she was smiling.

"Why are you smiling?" Buffy questioned still shocked.

"You two." Tara said gently.

"She should not make jokes about our sex life, she's too young." Buffy pointed out.

"You don't see it do you?" Tara questioned softly.

"What?"

"You're just like you used to be, before anything, before you died, before you lost your mom." The Wicca went on. "You're Buffy and Dawn, the way you should be." The blonde's smile was so broad. Buffy looked up the stairs and smiled slowly.

"Okay no fair, now I want to go give her a big hug." Buffy laughed lightly.

"You should, go on I'll be right here." Tara encouraged.

"I love you." Buffy grinned as she leaned over and kissed Tara. In a flash she was off and up the stairs. "I'm coming to get you evil sister!" She called and from upstairs Dawn squealed obviously trying to find somewhere to hide.

Dawns hiding place of under her comforter was not the most original nor the most effective especially as she only really had one hand holding it down the other hadn't relinquished the fries or chicken.

"I see you!" Buffy jumped on the bed and tickled the comforter.

"Ahhhh!! Buffy " Dawn squirmed and giggled.

"All hail Buffy tickle master!" A long lost summer of many tickle fights returned to the Slyer as she tortured her sister.

"Get off get off, I'm gonna tell Tara." The teenager wriggled harder dropping her fires and chicken she pushed her arm out in a desperate attempt to tickle her sister back.

"Tara told me to come up and attack you." Buffy leaned back to let Dawn get some air.

Dawn appeared from beneath the blanket her face red her hair tasseled but with the biggest grin.

"She did not." She defended the Wicca.

"She did too, apparently we are all like super cute." Buffy grinned.

"I love you Buffy." Dawn said suddenly as she scooted over and hugged her older sister.

"I love you too Dawn." Buffy hugged Dawn back tightly.

"Spike was wrong wasn't he?" Dawn asked still holding onto Buffy tightly.

"About what?" Buffy questioned softly.

"You didn't come back wrong." Dawn stated shaking her head into Buffy's shoulder.

"I didn't come back wrong..." Buffy held her sister a bit tighter. "Just a bit of molecular sunburn." She grinned remembering the Wicca's phrasing.

"That sounds like TT." Dawn sat back a little releasing her vice like grip.

"TT?" Buffy soothed her hand over Dawn's hair.

"Tara Terminology."

"It was." She laughed lightly and smoothed Dawn's hair again.

"Its like funny shapes or rounds, and sweetie." Dawn pointed out. "All definite TT's."

"Yep." Buffy nodded.

"Tara Terms for short." Dawn laugh a little.

"Are you okay with her staying over so much?" Buffy checked still running her fingers through her sister's hair as she had since they were both little.

"When she moving in?" Dawn shifted and laid her head on Buffy's lap

"You want her to move in?" Buffy shifted her leg a little to make a cushion for Dawn.

"Don't you?" Dawn wiggled a little getting more comfortable

"I do, but we want to be sure it's the best thing for you." Buffy admitted trying to make her sister see how important she was in all of this.

"How would Tara moving in be bad for me?" Dawn asked slightly perplexed.

"It's not a matter of us thinking its bad Dawn, we think it'll be great. But I want you to have a say in what goes on, Tara does too." Buffy stroked long brown hair. "And if you'd rather just you and me for awhile permanently, that's cool."

"And the fact that I don't get to see you lots cause you're over at Tara's dorm never crossed your mind?" Dawn grinned up at her sister.

"So that is a definite Dawn yes I'm hearing?" Buffy laughed as her sister nodded.

"Though I hope you're going to be having separate rooms." The teenager giggled.

"Hey you, those jokes are off limits till your thirty." Buffy warned her.

"You should go back down, Tara's likely to be asleep by now." Dawn encouraged.

"Okay, night." Buffy smiled at her.

"Night Buffy." Dawn smiled brightly shifting from her sister's lap onto the bed fully.

Buffy smiled and closed the door behind herself as she went back downstairs.

"See Dawn doesn't know everything your not asleep." Buffy laughed lightly at the reclined almost asleep Wicca on her couch.

"Mmmmm I was getting all together too comfy." Tara blinked her eyes open and went to move. "How's my favorite teenager?"

"She's good, wants to know when you're just going to move in and stop hogging me all to yourself in your dorm room of love." Buffy squeezed on to the edge of the couch and cuddle into the blonde.

"Hmmm we must talk about when." Tara slipped her arm around the Slayer drawing her closer away from the edge of the couch.

"I'm off on Friday? How about then?" Buffy grinned and snuggled closer.

"Friday? Are you sure Dawn wants it that soon?" Tara questioned.

"Dawn wants it like now." Buffy laughed. "You should talk to her about it and you'd understand."

"Friday would be fine." Tara shook her head lightly.

"Really?" Buffy leaned up grinning insanely.

"Really." Tara nodded.

"I love you." Buffy kissed her instantly.

"I love you too." Tara squeezed Buffy tightly.

"Do we need to talk to Willow?" Buffy hesitantly breeched the hard topic of conversation.

"We should, it would be nice of us to, and just so that next time she's round it's not a horrible surprise." Tara reasoned.

"Just what I thought." Buffy nodded. "So who is Heather Glare?" She questioned remembering their earlier conversation.

"Heather Glaive is a lecturer at UCS." Tara replied. "But she's also the sister of Willow MA group leader Iris."

"Iris, as in magic guru, Iris?" Buffy checked.

"I'm thinking yes." Tara nodded

"So we have a name, Iris Glaive." Buffy nodded. "What is this Heather like?"

"She seems lovely, though going back to the name Buffy, I'm not sure its Iris. Groups like the one Willow goes to use pseudonyms."

"Well that's not going to help me find her." Buffy frowned.

"Surnames don't change sweetie, and there can't be too many Glaives in Sunnydale." Tara pointed out gently.

"You're so smart." Buffy smiled.

"And I though you loved me because I was beautiful." Tara beamed.

"I do, and cause your smart, and sexy and..." Buffy licked her lips.

"And..." Tara smirked.

"Delicious." Buffy whispered kissing her again.

Heather jogged on the spot at the bottom of a slight incline in the trail, the wood chips crunched under her running shoes as she waited for Willow to catch up.

"You're doing great, already three miles." She grinned as the hacker worked her way to the brunette and then stopped heaving for air.

"Is it home time now?" Willow panted.

"Half mile back to the car." Heather informed her dropping down her jog to walk on the spot. "You want to walk it back? Or take a rest and then jog it?"

"Mmm which will hurt less." Willow gave a slight smile.

"Sit, have some water." Heather laughed and slung her pack off her pack offering the hacker a bottle of icy liquid.

"Why do you do this again?" Willow took it gratefully.

"TRU!" She called for the big newf that was accompanying them, only to have the dog bound out of the trees ahead of them to confirm she was close by and then disappear. "To relax." Heather laughed.

"Hmmm and how long does it take to do that?" Willow asked taking a drink.

"Give me a week." Heather encouraged. "If you still despise it after a week I won't bug you anymore."

"You didn't bug me in the first place." Willow reminded.

"I meant the running." Heather gave a slight smile and the tiniest blush.

"So did I." Willow blushed too.

"Did you want an energy bar?" The brunette fumbled in her bag for the small squares in silver foil.

"No thank you." Willow shook her head.

"I could get Tru to carry you." Heather offered.

"Do I look that bad?" Willow chuckled.

"You look fine." Heather laughed with her. "Like a natural born cross country star."

"So how long have you doing this?" Willow pushed of the small tree stump she'd leaned against and began strolling down the path she knew led to the car.

"A couple of years." Heather admitted falling into step with her. "It's nice out here without distractions."

"It is lovely." Willow agreed. "Hannah doesn't come?"

"That's funny." Heather smirked. "Hannah wouldn't run if you paid her, she thinks I'm crazy."

"She doesn't mind you doing it?" Willow chuckled.

"No, she's of the opinion I should get out more." Heather mused.

"Get out more? Doesn't running come under that category? I thought that was more going out in the evenings and things."

"Oh now I get the point of her mini rants." Heather slapped her forehead lightly and grinned.

"So I take it you don't get out much then." Willow laughed.

"Regular spinster." Heather smiled as she reached down to pluck a leaf off the path without missing a step.

"That produces images of gray haired old ladies with lots of cats, not young dark-haired lecturers with a big black dog." Willow commented patting the dog as it bounded past.

"Breaking the mould." Heather winked at the redhead.

Continued...

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