Safe In Her Arms by The Rainbow Writers

Buffy looked at the short list of Glaive's she'd gotten from the Sunnydale Community Telephone and Address Directory. The only Iris Glaive in the book had turned out to be a ninety five year old retired grandmother of five who'd seemed excited to have anyone over visiting even if it as a young woman she didn't know. The last one on the list was simply Miss. Glaive, so Buffy figured it was a shot. She had work in a little over two hours and she was hoping to get back to the house in order finish cleaning out her closet. Strolling past the front gate she closed it carefully behind her when she noticed the 'beware of big friendly dog' sign. Walking up to the old mahogany door she knocked on it tucking the list back in her pocket.

"Who is it?" Came the inquiry through the still closed door. There was a small sound as the cover was slipped off the spy hole in the thick door.

"Hi, my name is Buffy, I was wondering if Iris Glaive lived here?" The Slayer gave her best friendly 'I'm not a psycho' smile to the door. She realized as she stood there grinning she probably looked more like a psycho with the forced look on her face.

"No, there is no Iris Glaive here." The voice replied, though the spy cover wasn't dropped.

"Oh." Buffy's shoulder's slumped a little as she realized she'd come to the end of her quest and things weren't looking very good for her. "A Dr. Heather Glaive by any chance?" She tried her last line of hope.

Slowly the large door creaked open a little as the occupant peered out from the five-centimeter gap.

"Buffy Summers." Buffy answered watching the soft-featured face that appeared to look at her. "I'm a friend of Willow's." She hoped the name might give her a little help.

"You could tell me you're Iris? And my two hours of combing the city for you wouldn't be completely wasted." Buffy smiled.

"Hannah." Buffy nodded figuring it out. "Sorry I know it seems odd me just showing up, but I'm a friend of Willow's, and well she's been talking about you a lot lately and I wanted to meet you." The Slayer decided to go the relatively honest route.

"I don't make a habit of meeting group members friends." Hannah's voice was slightly toned as she looked Buffy up and down slowly.

"Has Willow told you anything about me? Cause I'm not really your normal friend." Buffy stood her ground not trying to go any closer as the frail woman seemed quite capable of swinging the door shut in an instant.

"I know all I need to know about you Miss. Summers." Hannah said shortly but not unkindly. "Who you are, what Willow did to you, and what you mean to her."

"Look can I make an appointment or something to see you?" Buffy caught her formal tone in the exchange. "Cause really I'm just worried about Willow."

Slowly she eased the door even more open and held her hand behind her as if keeping something back.

"Just if you know Willow you know how..." Buffy was about to take a step inwards the toe of her boot barely broke the threshold of the door when Hannah's attempts failed and the Slayer found herself being pushed down onto her back by a mass of big panting dark fur. She scrambled to put her hands up as she was slobbered in dog kisses from Trudeau.

"I give up!" Buffy conceded as the door licked up one side of her face before pulling back to sit near Hannah's leg.

"I'm sorry it really is just a way of saying hello." Hannah apologized stroking her hand in long motions over the large dog's head.

"I usually don't kiss on the first meeting." Buffy couldn't help but laugh as she mopped the slobber off her face with her coat sleeve.

"Let me get you a clean up tissue." Hannah turned and walked slow towards a small door down the hall.

Buffy slowly pushed back up to stand. Reluctantly she followed Hannah inside, the dog seemingly ignoring her now. Slipping into the small ground floor bathroom Hannah appeared seconds later with tissues for her visitor.

Hannah led the way to a large but comfortable looking room. Buffy followed Hannah's lead and was soon settled into a high back leather chair.

"To be honest..." Buffy couldn't help but vaguely admire the woman's to the point style so she decided to keep up the trend. "She keeps talking about how you're making her feel like hell most of the time, so I just wanted to check out this was really the best thing to be doing to her."

"That depends." Hannah reached over to the small round table that was placed directly next to the two seater leather couch she was sat on and took form it a small round white mint out of a bowl. She put it in her mouth before offering the bowl to Buffy.

"On whether or not you want your friend to live beyond her 21st birthday." Hannah said simply.

"Then it's the only way." Hannah put the bowl down and watched as the large black dog padded in and lay down at her feet.

"Okay Yoda, enlighten me." Buffy looked at Hannah settling back in her chair silently. "How is tearing apart Willow's mind going to make her live?"

"Willow's mind is already fragmented, I am trying to show her a way to put it back together." She stated simply.

"Is it because of the spell?" Buffy didn't quite know she'd even been thinking that until she heard herself voice the question.

"Well it certainly didn't help." The words may have been light but there was no trace of humor from the dark haired woman.

"How can we help her?" Buffy asked quietly, she had a 'sit still' feeling inside that she hadn't had since Giles had been around to point at her and tell her to shut up while he explained things.

"In many ways you can't." Hannah shook her head. "She has to help herself first."

"I just want to know, cause in the Scoobies life it comes up a lot. I just don't want to have her get into something again cause she thinks she has to in order to save the world." Buffy explained not sure with all the clipped responses why she was telling her anything.

"You may have to face the fact that your 'Scooby gang' will loose a member Miss Summers." Hannah pulled her full-length skirt down lower to cover her feet.

"You mean she has to totally give up?" Buffy's jaw dropped. "Everything, not just the magic?"

"Please don't take offence at what I am about to ask…" Hannah glanced over to Buffy. "Do you have any idea what your friend is struggling with?"

"Dark magic." Buffy summed up. "And what she did to Tara because of it." She added following the thought through.

"Well at least you are taking care of the Tara side of things for her." Hannah brushed at her skirt.

"You know I think this was a mistake." Buffy stood up abruptly. "Cause you don't know a thing about any of us, let alone Willow."

"Miss. Summers nothing I have said have I said to offend you and I'm afraid I know your friend far more than any of you do right now." Hannah watched Buffy's display remaining seated all the while and added the succinct assessment.

"No, you see you know the pain." Buffy contradicted. "You might now the witchcraft, which yeah I don't know a thing about. But I know Willow, I've known her since we were teenagers."

"So you know that she is losing weight, I estimate she's dropped around seven pounds in the time I have known her. Do you know that she averages four hours sleep a night, and that when she does sleep she does so with a light on?" Hannah listed emotionlessly. "You know that she has contemplate transferring classes and going to study somewhere else."

"You're lying." Buffy hissed at her not able to come back with anything else as the laundry list of horror made her raw inside.

"Why would I lie Miss Summers? She's just a group member, whom I spend an hour a week with." Hannah looked up at Buffy.

"Cause if you're not lying this is all my fault." Buffy's swallowed hard as she stood there her body straight and tense.

"It strikes me then, that Willow is not the only one with a problem that needs addressing."

"I died Hannah, I went to heaven and then three months later I got pulled back into a coffin to dig my way out." Buffy's voice was dull. "Addressing my problems is not even on the list."

"No you didn't." Hannah looked down still shaking her head. "That is something I can categorically tell you."

"You didn't die." Hannah reached down to pet her dog again but this time her hand was anything but steady.

"Three months in the ground Miss. Glaive." Buffy snarled then tried to reel herself in. "I have a headstone still to prove it."

"I'm sorry, but what did you mean?" Buffy didn't move to the door, her more analytical Slayer brain catching up. "How can you tell me I wasn't dead?"

"I can tell simply by looking at you, looking into those challenging rage filled hazel eyes, you have never ever been dead and had your life returned to you." Hannah looked up her eyes narrow her voice tight and almost, insanely angry yet controlled behind a vale of polite addressing.

"I was in heaven." Buffy whispered softly. She couldn't seem to find the volume to speak the words above that level.

"How do you know that?" Buffy pushed needing to know. No one who she had ever mentioned this to had spoken with this air of authority, though Buffy's mind couldn't think to believe that Hannah really did know anything.

"How old do you think I am Miss. Summers?" Hannah turned to look fully at Buffy.

"A tan would do wonders." Buffy smiled softly. "And I'm sorry but what does that have to do with me dying?"

"As you so humorously pointed out, a tan might do wonders for me…" Hannah narrowed her eyes even further. "But not as much for me as never having had resurrected my one and only true love. Now I suggest Miss Summers, that you leave and when, if ever, you are prepared to listen, without bringing with you this baggage you are carrying around, then you come back and find out exactly what I do know, exactly what I do understand" She paused breathed tightly.

Buffy was about to say something but she found her tongue knotted in her mouth. She held the hard eyes before her for a moment before she turned and stalked out. Childishly the door slammed closed pointedly behind her.

Buffy took a long slow breath as she looked at the glass door in front of her. She wished it were colder in California in the winter. She wished she could see the condensation of her breath as she breathed. A vacation years before her parents had divorced to Colorado reminded her of the icy temperature and the fun she and Dawn had had watching their breath and steaming up windows.

With a heavy hand she pushed open the door and worked her way slowly through the maze of hallways. Tara's dorm room door was partially open and for a moment she just leaned against the door jam watching the Wicca fuss with packing.

"Baby!" Tara looked up smiling broadly her hands stopped folding the beige shirt in her hand. "I thought tonight was home alone night." For a moment Tara looked worried that she had forgotten or missed something important.

"Yeah, I just..." Buffy stopped herself. "I'll let you pack, just stopped by to say hi."

"You could help." Tara smiled gently trying to work out her lover's mood There was something not quite right about her body language or the tone of her voice.

"I'm slated to lift the heavy stuff with Xander on Friday." Buffy acknowledged. "I don't want to mess with your flow."

"Nothing is that heavy I promise, and I don't have a flow, I have piles." Tara pointed to the various little heaps of things around the room. "See?" She grinned.

"She told me I had baggage." Buffy's voice hinted to her discomfort since the conversation.

"Hey Tara, what are you doing I thought tonight was our night, she's getting you every night for the next eternity!" Todd's loud voice called down the corridor, followed by loud chuckles from the entourage of at least twelve students that followed him. Tara looked at Buffy softly for a moment before turning her attention to the tall young man who appeared at the doorway.

Buffy stepped back out of the door as the room and hallway was filled by festive well-wishers. Tara had no choice but to smile and greet all of the people that filed in taking brightly colored packages that were passed to her by one or two of them but all the time she was inching to the door. By the time she got there the corridor was empty, and she was faced with the reality that Buffy was long gone.

Buffy closed the back door softly behind her and sat down on the cold wood of the porch. Carefully she punched in the extremely long list of numbers into the cordless phone and waited an eternity for a strange pulse like buzzing to erupt periodically on the otherwise scratchy line.

"Come on Giles." Buffy whispered hoping to God she wasn't going to wake up some other grumpy Englishman at whatever time it was there.

"Giles?" Buffy confirmed not quite sure if it was the Watcher by the sleepy voice.

"Buffy?" The recognition sparked immediately. "What is it? Whets wrong?" Panic filled the broad English voice.

"Hi Giles, nothing." Buffy shook her head slightly then realized he could only hear her not see her. "Well nothing world ending."

"Nothing?" He checked. "You're waking me up at 3:23 in the morning for nothing world ending?" There was a gentle chuckle in his voice. "Well that's a relief."

"Well I wasn't sure if it was 3:23am with you or 5:23pm." Buffy explained. "I needed to ask you something." She conceded softly.

"Is there any chance I wasn't dead?" She dropped the bombshell on the Watcher in her usual unassuming way.

"I promise you Buffy I will get back to you when I find out some answers for sure." Giles vowed gently.

"That's why I called. Hannah is being all high and mighty, so either she has no answers or she has them and she just won't tell me." Buffy whined scratching her nails into the wood. She'd shifted to lean against the railing as they talked.

"Well I truly promise to find out all I can for you. Perhaps you could see Miss. Glaive again?" He suggested.

"I'm not sure she'd want to see me." Buffy frowned a little embarrassed that she hadn't reacted better and stuck around to get more information.

"Perhaps in a few days she will have forgotten the incident." Giles suggested hopefully.

"She doesn't strike me as the forgetting type." Buffy contradicted. "Maybe you could find out a bit about her? I mean if she was big in the witchy mojo there would be records of her right?"

"Do you really think this is that necessary? She's Willow's support group leader." He pointed out tactfully. "Not the next Sunnydale mayor."

"Giles, she's messing with Willow, that is more than enough reason to check her out." Buffy's voice was sharp. "She's fragile, she's trying to get herself away from all the magic, I don't want Hannah messing up her chances."

"You feel this Glaive woman wants Willow to use magic again?" One could almost hear Giles frown.

"No, she wants Willow to give it up, give up everything, being a Scooby, being our friends." Buffy whined.

"Are you sure?" Giles challenged. "Do you feel she blames you for Willow's situation?"

"I don't know what she thinks about me." Buffy was honest. "It's like she knows something but doesn't know how to tell me. At least not in a straightforward way."

"What does Tara think? I must apologize to them both for not having been in touch for such a long time. Are they any closer to a reconciliation?" Giles went into thoughtful mode briefly.

"Not so much." Buffy admitted. "That would be the other thing I should talk to you about." Her voice went softer.

"Tara and Willow aren't getting back together Giles." Buffy answered slowly. "Tara is moving in with me."

"Oh, well its dreadful sad that the two of them have definitely separated, but who knows what the future will bring if Tara is staying around. Moving in with you. Did she not like university dorm life? She always did seem a little quiet for it." The Englishman mused he could imagine that Dawn will be pleased that Tara was moving back.

"Um Giles...." It took along time for Buffy to find a voice. "She's moving in, in with me." She explained knowing from his tone he didn't completely understand what she was telling him.

"Oh!" Giles' tone changed. "Oh now I feel profoundly stupid. I'm sorry Buffy." He apologized softly. "When did you and Tara..."

"No, not profoundly stupid." Buffy wouldn't take his apology. "It was complicated, but I'm in love with her." She admitted to her Watcher. "Are you mad at me?" The question came in a soft childish voice.

"She's a lovely girl Buffy." Giles said lovingly. "I'm not mad if you are in love with her, is she in love with you?" He checked his whole demeanor changed into a loving fatherly one.

"Its not an easy choice you two have made, I take it Willow has moved out then." He noted.

"Buffy you do appreciate that Tara is a very fragile young woman. She has experienced things that thankfully this life has spared you and I, not that life has spared you much." He added kindly.

"We've talked about almost all of them Giles." Buffy confirmed glad to have someone who wasn't immediately questioning her on the merits of their relationship so much as questioning if she was aware how lucky she was. "I won't let anything hurt her anymore."

"That's good." Giles was obviously very pleased about that. For a long moment the Englishman went quiet. "Would you like me there?" He asked gently.

"No, not unless you find out something." Buffy was honest. "You have a life Giles, we can't drag you back here every few months."

"I do have a life Buffy, and I suppose I should have called you about something as well." The Watcher's tone relaxed somewhat. "Olivia and I have moved in together."

"Oh have you?" Buffy perked up. "Very cool." She smiled to herself remembering how happy the Watcher had been when Olivia had visited. Well except for the intrusion of the Gentleman.

"What no tasteless jokes about living in sin?" He chuckled. "My goodness am I missing Xander?" He added through his laughter.

"You must be." Buffy laughed with him. "You're coming for the wedding though right?"

"Unbearable." Buffy underlined. "She is trying to convince Willow do die her hair to better match their dresses."

Willow glanced at her watch and then up at the large bay window just ahead of her. The drapes were closed but there was obviously a light on in the room beyond. She checked her watch again and unlatched the gate, it was only eight thirty, not late enough to expect the whole house to be asleep. Having arrived at the community center to find 'MA group cancelled' scrawled over the large black board and scribbled on pieces of paper taped to the door Willow's first though had been to come here. To find Heather and make sure everything was alright with both her and her sister, especially as no mention had been made of it just the day before when they'd been running.

Quietly Willow crossed to the door and pressed the bell lightly. It took some time but silently the cover on the security glass shifted open and then the door opened.

"Willow." Heather stood there looking obviously exhausted, her eyes a bit bloodshot and she bit her lip nervously.

"Hannah's not feeling well." Heather admitted softly. "I didn't get much sleep last night."

"It's really not a great time." Heather stayed nervously in the doorway. "Not a headache."

"I'm good at not great times." Willow tried to convince her new friend. "I can do all sorts of not great things, that is I can do things to make not great things better, I can bake cookies." She offered something about seeing Heather nervous made Willow slip into over compensation mode.

"Willow, it's not you, well not you directly. Just Hannah needs some time, I'm sorry group was cancelled." Heather looked at the stairs for a moment before stepping outside and drawing the door almost too behind her.

"I wasn't here Willow, I don't know what went on, I just know when I got home my sister was very upset." Heather's hand went tighter around the doorframe.

"Buffy?" The air rushing out of her lungs more or less took Willow's voice away. "Buffy was here?" Heather nodded. "Something else must have happened, Buffy wouldn't upset your sister. She's not like that." Willow defended though she couldn't erase the frown from her face, which was more caused by confusion than anything.

"She upset her." Heather's voice was low and for the first time slightly accusatory.

"Upset her how? Buffy wouldn't do anything to hurt anyone." Willow pushed for details slight upset by the edge in Heather's voice.

"I don't know what was said." Heather shook her head. "Just Hannah hasn't been this upset in months, I'd managed to keep her from doing it for along time and when I got home yesterday... things were a mess."

"Doing what?" Willow picked up on Heathers wording. "A mess how? She didn't do magic?" Willow's voice was filled with horror and worry.

"No." Heather shook her head quickly. "Willow, Hannah has a little problem." She tried to explain though the words were hard. She wished she didn't have to say anything but the panic and fear in the redhead's eyes made it almost avoidable.

"She self injures." Heather's voice was barely audible over the soft evening wind.

"Oh Goddess, is she ok?" Willows voice was tiny. "Are you ok?" Of all the scenarios whirling round her mind that had not been one.

"A few stitches, they should heal fine with some attention." Heather turned away walking over to the porch railing with her arms around herself.

Somewhat hesitantly Willow reached out touching her finger tips to the upper half of Heather's arm.

"I'm sorry." She apologized frowning deeply. Heather's jaw locked as she looked at the hand on her arm.

"It's not your fault." She shook her head. "You obviously didn't know Buffy was coming over."

"She usually does it when she gets worked up over Molly." Heather admitted frowning.

"Willow knowledge strikes again." Heather turned and sat down on the low bench against the railing.

"Oh no, I'm not big knowledge girl or anything. I took a few psych classes, well till the professor turned out to be a evil mad scientist who…" She stopped and shook her head. "Sorry this is about you guys not me." She apologized watching Heather sadly. "I'm sorry." She said again not knowing what else to say.

"Thanks for understanding." Heather didn't accept her apology. "Its just Hannah is all I have left. She's my only family."

"Of course I understand that." Willow noted with a quick nod. "You need to rest." She added looking up at the young lecturer. "Maybe I could make you tea or something?"

"I don't do well with the sleeping thing." Heather looked down at her bare feet on the wood.

"You should still try." Willow pushed but then when a little quiet as she looked at the dark haired woman. "This isn't your fault either you know." She commented, slowly she dropped down to her knees in front of Heather.

"It is." Heather squeaked out the words as her eyes welled up with tears. "I should have been here."

"No, Heather no." Willow leaned up and forward closing her arms around the other woman's shoulders without thinking. "This isn't your fault."

"I have to protect her." Heather choked the words out, it was obvious from her constricted throat she was not a graceful crier.

"Its okay." Willow rubbed the heavy sweater that covered Heather's back. "Lets go inside." She soothed.

"I think I found everything." Willow said gently as she carefully carried a cup of tea to the woman on the leather couch. "Though I'm glad you don't take milk, as I have no clue where the fridge is." She tried a smile.

"It-t-it's in the porch." Heather stammered as she took the cup and held it tightly in her hands.

"I saw a blanket on the bench in the hall I'll be right back." Willow dipped out of the room again hurrying back in with the green and blue tartan blanket that she laid over Heather's legs.

"I'm fine." She protested softly as the blanket was wrapped around her legs. "I'm sorry I freaked out I just..." She didn't even know how to explain.

"It's okay you don't have to explain unless you want to." Willow said sitting down on the floor by the leather.

"I just... she's my sister... I can't lose her too." Heather sobbed a little into her tea.

"No, no." She shook her head as Willow took the tea. The redhead put it safely on the table behind her before turning back to look at Heather. "I feel so stupid, I don't usually cry all over the place." She frowned.

"Hey you're talking to a regular cry monster." Willow smiled softly. "Like you told me it's good for you."

"I have to make things easier for her." Heather tried to explain. "I have to take care of her."

"I can totally understand that it's hard." Willow admitted. "But you have to take care of you too."

"I'm sorry, look at me." Heather wiped at her cheeks. "I should be getting you something to drink."

"Just stay there, I can make drinks." Willow put her hand gently up to stop the brunette from rising.

"So how come you came over?" Heather caught up with herself. "Oh my God, are you okay?" She panicked again easily.

"Yes, easy Heather." Willow put her hand on Heather's shoulder. "I came to check on you and Hannah."

"Hannah! Oh I'm sorry, I should have heard you." Heather seemed to jump out of her skin. The red head jumped and almost fell over.

"Sshhh everyone, I'm fine." Hannah moved her hand to gesture for them all to relax.

"I've just made tea." Willow sat back a little but kept her eyes on Heather. "You want one?"

"I'll get it." Heather moved the blanket off and began to move towards the kitchen.

"But..." Willow looked and followed heather with her eyes before turning her attention to Hannah.

"She feels better when she's doing something." The older witch spelled out the simply fact.

"It seems you have learned the two Glaive sisters biggest secrets." Hannah explained.

"Because of this." Willow gestured vaguely in Hannah's direction. Hannah smoothed her hand over the blanket.

"Heather explained?" Hannah made sure they were on a level field as she shivered slightly and pulled the long sleeve of her shirt down over her hand.

"Don't be cross with Heather." She said quickly trying to avoid any anger between the sisters.

"I am rarely cross with Heather." Hannah smiled softly. "Mostly only when she insists on staying here with me instead of enjoying life."

"I think I was unprepared to see your friend." Hannah admitted. "To see how successful you were."

"I tried to explain to Buffy." Hannah clouded for a moment. "But I think perhaps I was premature." She blinked and looked back at Willow.

"In bringing such a fiery spirit back to the world." Hannah stopped her explanation. "Confused by what?"

"She told you that?" She eventually whispered after along time trying to figure out what to say.

"She didn't have too." Hannah shook her head. "Why else would she wander around Sunnyvale trying to find Iris Glaive?"

The expression faded when a slight clatter and call that everything was already changed Hannah's mindset.

"She doesn't talk much." Willow noted. "I mean I know I talk all the time." She added. "Then again…" The hacker thought for a moment. "She does talk."

"The key to Heather, is when she does talk, really listen to what she is and what she isn't saying." Hannah smiled sadly at the door.

"Yeah Saturday morning." Willow nodded. "But if she wants to cancel that's fine. She has my number."

"I'm sure she'll call if she has too." Hannah nodded. "Why don't you come by Saturday after running and we can make up for tonight?"

"Maybe." Willow was non-committal. "I should go now." She tacked onto the end of her sentence getting up.

"Heather…" Willow stopped. "You should be with Hannah, you don't need me." She said glancing to the door of the sitting room and then the front door.

"Tair, Tair?" Todd lightly poked at the lump under the haphazardly placed blanket on his bed.

"Tair, we have to get you alive and packed." Todd laughed and held his head. "Man that was one rocking party."

"Leave me alone." Tara groaned in the most unTara like way and other than that the lump didn't move.

"Tair, come on Tair." Todd poked her again. "Buffy and your friends are going to be here in an hour." He pulled on one corner of the blanket. "I don't want to explain to your darling girl why you're asleep in my bed." He laughed from his place on the floor.

"What?" That caught Tara's attention and the blonde Wicca sat up rather too fast as she fell back against the bed clutching her head.

"Buffy's going to be here in an hour." Todd continued to hold his head as well. "And if she can bitch like Margaret can, I don't want to be here." He blinked at Tara.

"You did last night." Todd explained. "You were up doing shots with Barb and Raymond from second floor."

"Of apple juice and whiskey." Todd laughed. "For a girl who doesn't drink you did us all in."

She glanced down, shocked to find herself in a gray and navy UCSD T-shirt, which she knew she simply didn't possess.

"Mary and Jean helped you get dressed." Todd explained. "Hey I passed out on the floor, I promise I didn't look." He grinned and then grimaced.

"What was wrong with my dress? I could have slept in my dress." The Wicca pulled the blanket further aside and discovered that though the T-shirt came to her mid thigh all she had beneath it was her cotton panties

"You puked on your dress." Mary came in pulling off her sunglasses, a tray of coffees in her other hand. "So come on rise and shine girlies, we got work to do. The R.A says we have to clean up the wet and wild slide in the hall."

"Tara, don't worry." Mary waved a hand at her laughing. "It was nice to see you slumming with the rest of us university deadbeats." She looked at Todd. "Sorry, not you Teddy bear man."

"Mary, does your wit ever end?" Todd responded and the two entered their banter immediately.

"How long until Buffy gets here?" Tara held her head and took the offered coffee.

"You got an hour, so I suggest caffeine chug and then shower for you smelly girl." Mary sat down on the end of the bed and crossed her legs.

"Well if you haven't noticed Todd has eye makeup on so I think you should come second." Mary laughed as Todd scrambled to look at himself in the mirror.

"This tastes disgusting Mary." The Wicca frowned after her first sip, starring first at the coffee and then at her friend.

"Doll, you got an hour to get alive, showered finish packing and clean up your room." Mary smiled. "You need black coffee, not any of that lily herbal tea."

"I thought I had finished my room." Tara frowned but sipped her coffee again scratching her head with her free hand

"Mmmmm party central is not so clean." Mary informed her gently. "The silly string fight sorta ruined that."

"Come on, go get a shower. Todd and I will start with the clean up." Mary grinned and Todd groaned.

Gingerly Tara slipped out of the bed and picked up the towel Todd waved at her. She teetered her way quickly to the showers.

"Okay slayer strength does not help." Buffy sunk down next to her and leaned down resting her head on the blonde's lap.

"Mmmmm sorry love, are you okay?" Tara asked gently running her hand over Buffy's hair. The painkillers Mary had plied her with literally as Xander and Anya appeared had taken the edge of her hangover, but that had been over eight hours ago and now her head felt like someone was driving a nail through her temple.

"You going to give in and ask for some tablets for that hangover?" The Slayer smiled.

"Xander talked to Todd." Buffy smiled. "Come on, what can I get you?" She leaned up.

"I'm positive." Buffy smiled and kissed her again. "Aren't you?" She raised an eyebrow. "Though you do know, in future, I'm not much for the drinking."

"Welcome home Tara!" Suddenly Dawn bounced into the room with a homemade banner. It had 'Welcome home Tara' painted on it in rainbow colors and a picture of a stick person cooking pancakes. "Anya and I made this." The teenager explained. "Oh and Xander helped with the cooking person, well cooking stick person." Dawn pointed out.

"It's lovely Dawnie." Tara smiled warmly as the teenager dropped the banner in a heap beside her.

"We wanted you to know how glad we are that you're home." Dawn sat down beside her.

"I'm glad to be here." The Wicca admitted trying to still the pounding in her head.

"So have you and Buffy decided what color to paint your room?" Dawn quizzed. "Maybe you could convince her to change the kitchen wallpaper."

"No final decisions, but we thought about maybe lilac." Tara smiled at the teenager.

"Oh look Elliot." Dawn opened the door grinning. "Elliot's here to pick me up, isn't that coincidental."

"Did I miss something?" Buffy came out of the kitchen with a tall glass of ice water and two small white pills.

"Elliot and Dawn are thoughtfully going to the movies this evening." Tara looked over to Buffy.

"Take care." Tara called form her place on the sofa. Taking Dawn's hand lightly Elliot led her out.

"I think some time after the candy heart and before the carnival." Tara laughed softly putting down the remainder of her water. "Are you okay with it?" She checked.

"As long as he keeps that gentleman's veneer." Buffy grinned. "If not I'll break him, literally."

"So Miss. Maclay, do you want me to make you some toast or something for that upset tummy?" Buffy smiled softly.

"Are you going to spoil me all of the time now I live here?" Tara quizzed with a smile.

"Between the hectic Hellmouth crisis's, yes." Buffy smiled knowing she felt completely happy.

"Most definitely." Buffy nodded. "Why don't me and the toast meet you up there?"

"Great idea." Tara eased herself off the couch and to the stairs. "How do you feel about lilac." She asked as she slowly took the stairs one at a time.

"It's a nice fragrance." Buffy moved to the end of the stairs and watched to make sure the hung over Wicca got to the top okay before she made a move towards the kitchen.

"As a color sweetie not a scent." Tara's voice drifted down as she moved to thankfully to lie down.

Before she could get the toast into the toaster the doorbell rang and she moved back through the hall.

"Willow, what's wrong?" When she found the hacker behind it she was worried something had happened.

"I wanted to talk to you." Willow stood in the doorway, her arms wrapped round her stomach.

"Is Tara here?" Willow hesitated for a moment when she saw the blonde's familiar patchwork coat slung over the railing of the stairs.

"Yes." Buffy felt her world crumble in as she realized they hadn't quite gotten around to telling Willow of the big move. "Will, what's wrong?" She tried to get back to the bigger worry until she knew it was the right time to tell Willow what was going on.

"No, no demon." The redhead shook her head looking at Buffy and then the stairs just beyond her.

"No, I mean I know Tara doesn't stay too often you need time with her." Willow said humbly.

"Actually Willow..." Buffy licked her lips as her mouth felt dry. "Tara's moved back home."

Willow opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. She had deliberately not come round after being at the Glaives the night before because she hadn't trusted her temper but now she truly wondered why she had bothered. Buffy watched the gamut of emotions running over Willow's face. She waited not sure what else she should say if the hacker wasn't going to speak.

"You really hate me don't you?" Willow looked at Buffy and hissed the angry question quietly.

"How else do you explain what you're doing to me?" The redhead's voice was tight and high.

"You've taken my girlfriend, my home, you're trying to ruin the only good relationship I have left with Heather and Iris. What exactly have I done to you Buffy?" Willow felt tears sting her eyes but she was almost too angry to let them spill over.

"Excuse me, but this is my house Willow and your ex-girlfriend is your ex because you decided you were Miss. High and mighty mind melter." Buffy bit back not able to stomach the angry words from the redhead. "And I wasn't trying to ruin anything with Iris, I wanted to make sure you were safe during these little anti magic sessions. Kill me for caring."

"Well I'm sorry, thank you so much Buffy." Willow's voice was dripping with sarcasm. "Thanks to your 'care' Iris spent a few hours in emergency, and Heather is walking around like a zombie, and I don't fell like I have anyone left to turn to for anything." She was powerless to stop the hot tears spilling down her reddening cheeks. "So thank you, enjoy your house, enjoy your girlfriend, I'll be leaving now." Willow's voice shook as she turned away from her best friend. It was unfair she knew it, her words were too harsh and too selfish, but she didn't feel like being fair.

"Do you know what she told me?" Buffy followed a few of the hacker's steps towards the lawn.

"This woman who sits on her little I know it all chair and looks down at me, she told me if 'she' doesn't help you you'll be dead in a year." The Slayer cursed out the words.

"What am I supposed to do to help you?" Buffy recoiled. "You want me dead again? Am I supposed to be your little happy minion now that you brought me back?"

"Minion?" Willow barked out. "Yeah after all only I would have a 'make sure you can't get back with your girlfriend' minion."

"Since we're not pulling any punches here maybe I should clue you into something Willow." Buffy shook her head. "I could never keep you and Tara apart, if she wanted to be back with you she would be right now. But she can't trust you Willow, she can't trust you to let you in again."

"Where as you're the obvious moral choice to trust. What there's Angel: vampire with a soul, Riley: government toy and Spike: the soulless vampire…" Willow snapped back. "What's Tara? You're latest experiment with something different?" She could hardly believe the words had slipped from her mouth both because of what they suggested about Buffy and about Tara.

Buffy's mouth gaped open for a moment as she tried to think of something to say, tried to think of something to throw back at the redhead. First her mind wanted to hurt her, hurt her as much as the words had hurt her, then she wanted to make the hacker understand and then she just wanted to beg her forgiveness until the anger settled in again.

"She said you'd have to give up on all of us, give up on everything in Sunnydale in order to live up to her program." Buffy shook her head as her eyes welled up. "You've made a good start tonight."

"What do I have to stay for?" Willow countered. "I'm supposed to sit by and watch my best friend and the woman I love make out in the house I used to live with her in? I'm supposed to teach Dawnie mathematics, while ignoring the fact that Tara is in the kitchen cooking supper, not for me, but for you?"

"You do what you want Willow." Buffy shook her head again and the tears spilled out onto her cheeks as her iron veneer finally cracked. She was losing her best friend, losing her possibly for good.

"Stay out of my life Buffy." Willow snarled the words. They left her mouth before even registering in her brain.

"I love you Willow, but I don't know you anymore." Buffy closed the door very softly, breaking into sobs as she heard the latch snap into place.

Heather ran on the spot at the top of the steep incline knowing out of all the terrain it was the bit that Willow had the most problem with.

"Come on you can do it!" She shouted encouragement to the slow moving redhead. "I have a treat for you at the top of the hill!" She called not surprised when Willow didn't look up from her serious study of the ground below her slow moving feet.

"Can't I have my treat here where I still might be alive to enjoy it?." Willow said quietly. "While I'm alive." She tried to take a deep breath and counteract the burning in her lungs.

"You're doing great, you've doubled your time." Heather slowed her in place jog and waited as Willow finally crested the hill.

"Doubled my time huh?" Willow stopped and let her body drop forward a little breathing hard.

"We usually don't get here till six and it's only five forty five now." Heather grinned and slipped her backpack off pulling out a small white envelope.

"Oh yeah, right." Willow flipped it over and ran her finger under the flap easing it open.

"Unbeknownst to most of Sunnydale there is a fabulous running shop just off of Harbour Street. I talked the Peter, the shop owner, and he'll help you pick out some really good shoes." Heather grinned hoping Willow liked the present. "And a cute little running jacket to match."

"Heather you didn't have too." Willow stared at the gift certificate completely surprised.

"I know I didn't have to silly." The brunette smiled. "I just wanted to get you something nice, that you'd know was from me. Hence the running." She felt a bit stupid suddenly. "Cause you're doing so well."

"That's great." Willow looked up and smiled. "I mean really great, I've always wanted some real running shoes." She slipped the certificate back into the envelope.

"You're looking better." Willow suddenly pointed out the fact quietly. She took a step back from the other runner and leaned against a tree looking at her.

"Thank you for the other night, I'm sorry about falling apart." She added softly.

"Don't thank me." Willow shook her head. "If there's anything you or Iris, sorry Hannah need, just ask me." She offered boldly. "I spoke to...." The redheads voice trailed off.

"Yeah. Oh and you don't need to worry Buffy. She won't be upsetting Hannah again." She decided her reply carefully.

"I'm sure she didn't mean to upset Hannah." Heather shook her head. "Hannah said it wasn't Buffy's fault, just that she got upset herself. Oh Willow, I'm sorry I didn't want to get cause trouble, either of us did."

"You didn't cause anything." Willow shook her head she pushed off the tree and began the trudge back to the car.

"Willow?" Heather was shocked when the redhead stalked off. "Willow, what's going on?" She caught up with her after a few moments.

"Oh nothing big." Willow shrugged her head down she fiddled with the envelop in her hand.

"Willow, please." Heather pushed softly. "Fragile Glaive psyche can't take thinking secretly you're mad at one of us."

"Mad at you? Goddess no." Willow stopped and looked up. "No, Heather no." She reached out and put her hand over Heather's arm. "You and Hannah, have been so kind so helpful." She stressed making sure Heather saw the truth in her eyes.

"I know a lot of things in this world have hurt you Willow, I don't want to be one of them." Heather admitted in a very quite voice.

"You're not." Willow assured. "I'm thinking of leaving Sunnydale." She whispered the words; unable to believe she'd been able to even admit what had been rolling over and over in her mind.

"I'm not sure, before I accepted a place at UCSD I had offers other places." Willow explained. "I've contacted a couple by e-mail asking about transferring." She went on sadly. "But people don't tend to reply when you mail them at three am." She added with a rather pathetic shrug.

"I have some contacts at MIT, I could put out some feelers if you wanted." Heather offered reluctantly. "If you're sure you want to leave."

"You think I should go too?" Willow looked up somewhat horrified. Yes, she had thought about it but only briefly, very superficially actually, even after the horrible conversation with Buffy the night before.

"I..." Heather felt herself unable to finish and for a minute she turned away into the wind. The logical part of her mind just wanted to ignore all this. It was starting to fall in that touchy feely category, and she usually had a rule about avoiding that at all costs. "I don't want you to go." She turned back and blurted the words out unable to stop herself.

"What?" Willow had been going to jump in with a list of reasons why Heather was right to want her gone, having taken her original silence as agreement but the short haired woman's answer had tripped her a little.

"I think you should stay." Heather managed the words again seeing Willow's internal flounder.

"Why? I mean all I do is hurt people, and get people hurt, there's Tara and Hannah, you." The redhead sighed.

"Willow, you haven't hurt me." Heather shook her head as tears flooded Willow's green eyes.

"Please if you'd hurt me I wouldn't be here running with you." Heather stepped a tiny bit closer. "I sorta don't work like that, if you hurt me I'm like running for the hills, away from you not with you."

"Buffy upset Hannah, Hannah hurt herself, seeing Hannah hurting hurts you." Willow babbled on. "I hurt you." She flustered as tears spilled over her dark eyelashes down onto her flushed cheeks.

"Willow, you didn't hurt Hannah, you didn't hurt me." Heather shook her head. "Please understand that."

"I'm sorry." Willow apologized sadly. "You don't need this." She wiped at her cheeks.

"I don't know what to do." Willow admitted breathing out a hard sob, her body crumpling a little.

"Don't make any decisions yet." Heather frowned harder as the redhead's sadness reverberated through her. She moved closer and reached out rubbing Willow's back.

Unable to resist this smallest move of comfort, on instinct alone Willow moved closer and pressed her head and body to Heather's seeking comfort from her arms.

Heather's body stayed stiff for a moment almost startled by the contact before Willow's words melted the wall of protection she'd built around herself and she couldn't help but close her arms around the small body that leaned into her.

Humming something not particularly recognizable that she'd been playing on the radio as she drove to school that morning, Tara gave the librarian a broad smile as she placed her pile of books in front of him to be checked out. She felt about 300% better than she had at this time yesterday.

'Then again…' She reminded herself glancing up at the clock. 'You'd only been conscious twenty five minutes this time yesterday.'

Right now though it felt good to be Tara Maclay. She was ahead in her study schedule, the library had all the books she need and best of all she'd just moved back 'home'. Add to that the fact it was Saturday and that meant Buffy got off early, so yes it felt very good to be Tara Maclay today.

"Oh yes." Tara congratulated herself quietly as she stood there with the older man checking out her books.

"Oh nothing." She replied giving him what could only be described as a goofy smile.

"Your card." He held it out for her. Tara took it and eased the pile of books back into her arms.

"Thank you, have a good Saturday." She said warmly. Turning, she began to move to the exit when she caught sight of unmistakable red locks.

"Will!" She called happily suddenly remembering she was in the library. She looked around guiltily and moved more silently over to the redhead.

Willow froze in her place, the voice that called her name struck her immediately and she felt her stomach drop lower.

"What are you doing in here on a Saturday?" Tara asked quietly as she sneaked her pile of books onto the table.

"Then you definitely shouldn't be studying calculus. I'm on my way to the cafeteria, come with." Playfully she worked her hand round to Willow's books and flipped the textbook closed.

"Are you sure you want to go to the cafeteria with me?" Willow asked her surprised, she was sure after the show down she'd had with Buffy the night before the blonde wouldn't want anything to do with her.

"Why wouldn't I?" For the first time since waking up in her and Buffy's bed that morning, Tara felt a vein of negativity slip into her mind.

"Buffy didn't tell you about last night did she?" Willow whispered as she felt her heart split in two. It had to be the explanation, why else would Tara still be acting nicely towards her?

"What about last night?" Tara pulled her hand back to her body and looked at the redhead confused.

"I came over to talk to her and we sorta..." Willow looked down. "Had a big fight."

"A b-b-b-big f-f-fight?" Tara had been completely unprepared for the hacker's words.

"She went to talk to Iris and really upset her, so I went to see Buffy cause I was mad and then she told me about you moving back in." Willow looked up when she heard the Wicca stutter and it made her frown more.

"I thought B-B-B-Buffy had told you already..." Tara went pale and took a small step backwards. "And wh-wh-what do you mean upset Iris?"

"You should have told me." Willow pointed out quietly as she began to pack up her books.

"I w-w-was going to but B-B-Buffy..." Tara began but let her sentence trail off unfinished. "Wh-Wh-What happened between you two?"

"No, we're not." Willow restated. "It'll be easier this way." She added unconvincingly.

"Easier what way?" Tara frowned. "You and Buffy are best friends, years of friendship doesn't disappear in a fight that couldn't have been more than fifteen minutes long." She argued unable to even comprehend the fact.

"Tara, you don't understand how hard it is." Willow shook her head and began stuffing books in her bag.

"Then tell me, talk to me." Tara reached out for Willow's arm. "Willow please." She stopped just short of touching her ex-lover.

"Tara..." Willow turned her eyes catching confused blue. "I was trying so hard." She squeaked out the words as her voice caught tight and high. "So hard to be okay about you and her and then she has to go behind my back to scare the only person who is helping me stop my addiction, the only person who understands what I'm going through. She didn't just scare Iris, she totally hurt Heather cause Iris got upset." Willow continued. "And she was acting all like she did it for me, when she didn't, she did it cause she's the slayer and she hates it when anyone else is the one fixing things." She took a sharp breath. "And I was so mad I said lots of stuff, and she said stuff and now..." She frowned so hard her face hurt. "We're not friends anymore."

"Come with me." Tara suddenly moved forward and picked up her books, her voice as calm and authoritative as she could muster.

Willow didn't know why but she slung her bag over her shoulder and silently followed the blonde.

Tara didn't for a second let her mind waiver or wander as she led Willow across the campus and towards the dorms. Officially her she wasn't due to be moved out until Sunday anyway and she still had the key on her key ring.

Not to mention the fact that she realized she'd left at least one box somewhere in the area, no doubt it had been 'hidden' as one of the drunk party games.

She took the stairs two at a time hearing the sound of Willow's sneakers on the steps behind her as she took off down the corridor on the third floor. Walking up to her old room she unlocked it and pushed the door open nodding for Willow to go inside.

Willow walked in feeling like a woman condemned. Tara closed the door and put her pile of books on the bare desktop.

"Firstly Willow." When Tara eventually spoke her voice was completely warm fluid as gently she turned to look at the redhead with soft blue eyes. "I'm sorry." She concentrated hard so as not to stutter. "You're right I sh-should have told you, and I wish I had. Now please…" She watched as in turn Willow listened and watched her carefully. She took a gentle breath. "Sit down." She glanced at the bed. "And tell me everything that has happened."

Willow didn't know why she didn't have more strength but instead of walking out she sat down and did just as the blonde asked.

"And then she closed the door and I went home." Willow finished off her voice scratchy from crying.

Tara took a deep if slightly staggered breath as Willow finished her explanation. It had been hard to sit there and listen to it all without budding in, but she'd managed to bite her tongue and just let Willow talk.

"What did you do when you got home?" She asked quietly rather unable to believe that at least the argument part of this story had happened when she was asleep.

"Ate a tub of ice cream and cried." Willow frowned as she gave the honest answer.

"About wanting her to stay away from me?" Willow clarified. "Yes... no." She slumped further. "I don't know."

"You need to know." Tara said sadly. "You need to know what you want." She took another breath.

"I don't want to have to decide." Willow sighed. "I don't want to lose Buffy as a friend, but I can't lose everything else to keep her. She can't think she can go barging in and ruining everything."

"Do you honestly think Buffy searched the whole of Sunnydale to find Iris just to screw things up for you Will?" Tara looked up almost sharply, her face in a deep yet sad frown.

"No." Willow shook her head having to be honest. "But if she was that worried she could have told me, I could have taken her to meet Iris. Not the big slayerish way."

"That's is true." Tara soothed calmly. "Think about it, some unknown obviously powerful ex-witch is messing with her Willow, her best friend, and since when has Buffy asked gentle questions first before leaping to worrying conclusions? She loves you Willow, she couldn't bear it if something happened to you because she didn't make sure it couldn't happen." The Wicca sunk down on the bed close to Willow's side. "I'm not condoning what Buffy may or may not have said, or the way she did it. I can't because she hasn't talked to me about all this yet, but I can't believe for one second Buffy meant to hurt Iris." She went on. "Meant to hurt you." She added softly. "None of us want to hurt you. You mean too much to all of us for that." She whispered.

"I know you don't mean it too, but it does hurt." Willow whispered back looking at the tiling on the floor and the tips of their sneakers. "I lost you and now you're with Buffy and I have no chance of getting you back."

"You think it doesn't hurt me?" Tara whispered feeling the raw emotion inside her. "You think it doesn't hurt every time I see you?" She bit her lip trying to hold back her own tears, tears she'd been holding now for so long.

"Maybe I should just leave Sunnydale and make it easier on everyone." Willow's voice got even tinier.

"Make it easier?" Tara could hardly breathe. "How would that make our lives easier?" She frowned.

"Cause then I wouldn't be around to make it worse." Willow turned to her finally, her face held a mirrored frown.

"So rather than just losing the part of me that is in love with you I loose all of me that is yours?" Tara pushed off the bed and turned quickly to look at the hacker. "I loose all of you?"

"Tara, I don't know what to do." Willow looked up seeing and feeling the horror in the blonde's voice.

"Then don't go." Tara's fight with tears was lost as her bottom lip trembled and a tear slid down her cheek from her stormy blue eye.

"Okay, okay I'm not going anywhere." Willow's resolve broke when she saw the blonde cry. Even with all the pain, all the agony between them she couldn't hurt Tara again, not knowingly.

"I can't loose you completely Will." Tara's breathing became slightly erratic as her tears began to take over and the wall of protection she had built up around herself as far as Willow was concerned began crumbling.

"I won't go." Willow shook her head again to the idea. "And I'll try to talk to Buffy."

Tara backed a little further away from the hacker until her back was against a wall. She wrapped her arm around herself and shook a little.

"You must have th-th-th-things to do." She tried to make her words legible as her mind tumbled in on itself.

"Tara?" Willow watched the Wicca's retreat helpless to stop it. Willow slowly moved over and reached out taking Tara's hand. "I promise you..." She placed the blonde's hand over her heart trying to keep volume in her words as the organ in her chest thundered with each painful beat. "I won't leave. I know you don't want to be with me, and I know that is killing me... but if you need me here, I won't leave."

"I…" Tara fought to breathe. "I should never have come." She tried breathing in through her nose but it was blocking from her crying. "I should have gone with Father."

"Tara, don't say that." Willow shook her head. "This isn't your fault, you didn't make any of this happen. Buffy and I have a lot bigger things to work out than you, okay that is one thing, and it's big but there are lots of others." She tried to explain. "And I want you to be happy, I so want you to be happy and loved and safe. I'm starting to understand just how much I hurt you and it scares me to death."

"I won't leave." Willow hugged her softly, feeling comforted and more scared then every before at the same time.

Buffy struggled to open the door as she balanced the two large bags of groceries. Instead of hamburgers, chicken or even tacos, she'd opted to actually go shopping and stock up on some of the necessities.

With a thunder of teenage feet on the stairs Dawn appeared and held the door as Buffy continued to struggle.

"Thank you." Buffy moved through with the two bags, another two sitting on the porch. "Is Tara home?" She questioned putting them in the kitchen.

"No." Dawn slipped out and picked the bags up and bundled them through after Buffy.

"You want to help me try to start dinner then? We can surprise her." Buffy began unpacking as Dawn arrived with the rest.

"Lasagna." Buffy grinned. "Found this easy no cook pasta, has to be easy right?"

"Well then come on and help me." Buffy smiled as she reached up on the fridge and turned on the radio.

"Spinach and eggplant for Tara's, and ground beef for ours." Buffy explained. "With tones of cheese and this nice sauce." She dug in and handed the glass jar to Dawn.

"Well Elliot did mention something about taking me out." Dawn shuffled her feet a little.

"What time you going to be home and where are you going?" Buffy checked but didn't give her consent quite yet.

"Being on the porch does not count as being home." Buffy warned her as she pulled out the glass lasagna dish.

"Okay." Dawn agreed as if she'd had a choice. "I need to phone." She dashed over to the phone.

Dawn held a brief conversation on the phone and was about to dash upstairs when the front door eased open and Tara quietly slipped inside.

"We're all in the kitchen." Buffy called out hearing her lover's footsteps pause as Tara pulled off her coat.

"That's good, sometimes you can't get anything." Buffy smiled as she read the side of the box. "How's your hangover?" She teased.

"Um... did I do something?" Buffy stopped looking at the blonde seriously as she asked the question.

"Is Dawn in this evening?" Tara replied looking back to the stairs. The last thing she wanted to do was start this with Dawn around if that could be avoided.

"We'll wait till she's gone then." Tara said hating the clipped tone of her own voice.

Tara took a slight breath and pushed off from the central island. She moved over to the Slayer and slowly wrapped her arms around her lover, looking into her hazel eyes.

"Oh, good." Buffy let herself frown. "I thought we were in world ending category for a minute there."

"I don't think so, I don't want to be." Tara admitted rubbing her hands into Buffy's back.

"Can I ask one thing?" Buffy relaxed a little more into her arms. "You saw Willow didn't you?"

"Yes I did." Tara answered honestly hoping it might give Buffy more of a framework to understand what was going on.

"I swear Tara I was going to tell you all about it all tonight, there just hasn't been a chance." Buffy admitted hoping the blonde believed her.

"Which is why we're going to talk about it." Tara gave her lover a thin smile. "I need a shower and to change."

"I can finish making dinner." Buffy offered not feeling completely at ease but not feeling totally blown out of the water anymore. At least Tara was going to give her a chance to explain, which was a lot more than she usually got.

Having heard the door announce Dawn's exit from the house, Tara came down from out of her shower wrapped only in her gray fleece robe. She padded barefoot into the living room her wet hair hanging down round her shoulders.

"Should be ready in about a half hour." Buffy shuffled in after a few moments wiping her hands clean in a towel.

"The cheese is trying to take over the oven." Buffy plopped down on the couch beside her.

"She told me everything." Tara replied. "But I want to hear your side, before we talk about it."

"Well I guess it all went to hell when I found Iris." Buffy began with a slow breath knowing she might as well not try to stop the enviable.

"And then well I didn't know what else to say, she was just so angry." Buffy conceded wrenching the pillow in her lap. "So I closed the door and just sorta stood there freaking out. You were asleep by the time I got upstairs."

"I see." Tara took a slight breath. "And how do you feel about what went on? With Willow I mean, not with Iris." She clarified.

"Horrible." Buffy admitted. "You were asleep so you missed the blotchy Buffy crying face." She frowned. "I can't believe she thinks I ruined her whole life."

"I really didn't mean to do anything to Iris, other than tell her that we wouldn't let her mess with Willow. She was fine when I left her, not so much as a batted eyelash." Buffy plead in her own defense. "And the whole I wasn't really dead thing." She added quietly not sure if that had been part of Willow's explanation.

"I know, I guessed as much. You weren't to know about her problem and of course that threw you. The death thing." Tara nodded that she understood.

"This Iris woman looks fragile Tara, but she's all with the big long silent looks and hard questions." Buffy tried to explain more.

"By the sounds of it sweetie…" Tara said gently making sure Buffy didn't feel judged. "Her life has taught her a lot of hard lessons."

"I mean I'd go apologize to her for being all righteous but first it was Willow I went to see her about and I don't have to apologize to anyone about being worried about her and secondly, I think if I go on Iris' block again Willow's going to fry me." Buffy frowned more.

"I think she's feeling territorial, which is cool, but I don't want to set her off again." Buffy went further. "So she wasn't mad at me still?" She asked quietly.

"I don't even think Willow knows what she feels about anything right now. I think the main problem was Buffy she feels like Iris and Heather are her lifeline right now, and something happening to that lifeline scares her." Tara tried to explain.

"You're not a bad slayer, you're not a bad friend." Tara underlined quickly. "Willow's just having a hard time understanding the differences in peoples motivations."

"I don't know what to do." Buffy sighed. "It's like we don't fix one thing and then another gets piled up on top of it, and way down there is the original thing but it's just so far from that now neither of us have a clue anymore."

"I think all you can do, is not give up on her, but not crowd her either. Maybe a card." She suggested gently she reached over a hand and drew light circles on Buffy's thigh as a soft comforting gesture.

"About me not being dead." Buffy clarified gently. "Not really dead." For the first time Tara looked away and didn't reply. "Tara?" Buffy urged softly.

"No, not to any of the important things." Buffy shook her head. "It doesn't change that I love you."

"Then it wouldn't have been heaven, and I wouldn't have been meant to stay there." Buffy simplified.

"Buffy I'm taking it you don't but do you know what Iris Glaive did that was so wrong?" Tara asked turning back slightly.

"When she was twenty four, her girlfriend was killed." Tara began slowly. "Iris brought her back." The Wicca explained finally bringing her eyes up to meet Buffy's.

"Not Willow's spell no." She whispered. "More like Dawn's." She forced herself to swallow though her throat was dry.

"Oh my God." Buffy put her hand to her mouth. "She kept telling me she knew just by looking at me I didn't come back wrong, that she knew. I didn't know... I didn't have any idea..." She panicked.

"I don't understand, why are the spells so different?" Buffy pushed still in shock.

"The spell Willow did was a different kind of spell altogether." Tara took another slight breath. This was the question she had not been looking forward to answering.

"Please, you know don't you. I asked Giles but he had no idea." Buffy pushed her hand gripping into the pillow.

"Willow's spell used something, something special." Tara pointed out knowing she had to explain this and explain it right for everyone's sake. Buffy held her breath waiting for the answer. "She used the 'Urn Of Osiris'. With it Willow accessed a level of magic higher than that of a usual resurrection spell. She called upon Osiris the God of life, using his vessel Willow could ask for anything." Tara paused. "For anyone to be returned to her, if she passed the tests. But…" Tara paused glancing up at Buffy to check her lover wanted to know.

"Essentially it's a relocation spell, its not a resurrection spell. Resurrection spells don't work Buffy, they can't. When someone has gone, they're gone." She whispered. "You can't get them back."

"If they are in a heavenly dimension you can," Tara tried to be clear, "Well, only with a spell like the one Willow did, but it is possible. But if they're dead, no." Tara shook her head very slowly.

"I don't understand." Buffy shook her head. "I died, you buried me. I was dead."

"You were in a heavenly dimension, probably because you weren't meant to die when you did or because the method of your death was unnatural." Tara breathed again. "Sweetie, you weren't here. You were gone from us but that doesn't mean you were dead. Your body was dead, your spirit, your soul was taken to another place."

"What happens when you die that makes it all impossible?" Buffy pushed needing to understand. "What is the difference in my spirit going to a heavenly dimension and Iris' girlfriend?"

"When someone dies Buffy, their spirit, their soul, their essence is released, either to be reborn or to be embraced back into the universe it was created from. Iris' girlfriend died, it was her time as horrible as that is but it was a fact. Her essence was given the release it deserved, her soul re-entered the cycle of the universe. So when Iris resurrected her she brought back her body but there is no way to reclaim an essence, that had been reintegrated into the cosmos."

"How did Willow know I wouldn't come back wrong?" Buffy pushed the thought from her head, desperately needing to think of anything but that.

"She didn't." She admitted in a scared whisper. "She knew she had a better chance than most with the urn and the dark magicks." Tara explained. "But she couldn't be sure, and if you were really dead Buffy, you wouldn't just have your sunburn."

"Yes?" Buffy looked back at her and blinked as she stayed perched on the end of the couch.

"I don't want Dawn to know any of this." Buffy tried to find reason in her mind.

"I'll be back soon, I promise." Buffy heard the quiet tone and tried to reassure her lover. The Wicca merely nodded.

Soft candlelight flickered down the upstairs hall suggesting to her that was where her lover was. Slowly Buffy took off her coat and boots and made her way upstairs. She wasn't sure if Tara was asleep by now but she had to check before she assumed either way.

When she came into their room the figure on the bed didn't move. The room smelled of long finished rosewood incense and only a few dying votives graced the dressers.

"Hi." Buffy kneeled down and rested her chin on the bed looking at the blonde who was curled up near the edge looking like she'd spent the last three hours crying. The sight broke Buffy's heart.

"You needed me to stay and talk, and I needed to go hurt some undead things." Buffy explained.

"I know it probably cost Giles a lot of money, but I kicked down my headstone." Buffy put her hand up under her chin.

"I'm not dead." Buffy spoke the words knowing now they were true. "I just got lost for awhile."

"And if I'd come back wrong, I wouldn't even have been able to feel like it was wrong." Buffy summed up what she'd figured out.

"I can't even imagine now how much seeing me must have hurt Iris." Buffy admitted a bit ashamed. "I didn't understand."

"Of course you didn't, you couldn't." Tara shook her head though she didn't uncurl herself in the slightest.

"About why the spell worked, about what could have happened. That she could have faced what Iris must have faced when she brought back her girlfriend." Buffy frowned.

"If she thinks about it yes, I don't know whether she has or not." Tara admitted.

"Do you want to have a bath with me?" Buffy hadn't crawled into bed for the sheer reason she knew she was cemetery filthy.

"Do you want me to sleep in the other room tonight?" Buffy asked quietly, trying to hide the sadness in her voice that the question caused.

"You know…" Tara's sore eyes suddenly flooded with tears. "Sometimes I…" She paused having to breath.

"Sometimes you need space." Buffy filled in reaching out to put her hand over Tara's.

"Please Tara, I don't want to be in the other room, I wanted to curl up with you right away but I smell like the cemetery." Buffy tried to explain. "I can sleep here on the floor even."

"It's not you Buffy." Tara shook her head. "It's me, I hate the fact that I can lie here and wish, wish that Xander had never stepped on Willow's spell crystal, that you were still Joan and I was Tara 'pathetic' Maclay, and then maybe, just maybe all the people I love wouldn't be in so much pain."

"It doesn't have anything to do with you being pathetic." Buffy shook her head right back. "It has to do with you not wanting anyone you love to be in pain."

"We could change the sheets in the morning." Tara gave the Slayer an excuse to just slip in bed beside her.

Buffy didn't need much more encouragement as she slid up onto the bed and spooned her body around behind Tara's.

"I love you." Tara whispered squeezing her eyes closed as more tears spilled out onto her cheeks.

Buffy awoke to the smell of the cemetery and feeling cold. At some point she'd kicked the blankets off herself and now she was lying with nothing to shield her body from the cold late morning air. Pushing up onto her elbows she listened and realized that the house was empty. A panic settled in her stomach as pulled Tara's pillow under her head and lay there for a moment. The blonde had obviously been very careful about not waking her, and had obviously left.

Buffy cursed as the shrill noise of the phone ringing scrambled through her head before she could even begin to answer herself.

"I have the information you wanted." He decided from her tone she wasn't in the mood for conversation.

"I wasn't dead cause if I was dead I'd have been reintegrated into the universe and untouchable?" Buffy summed up blandly.

"Willow and I had a big fight, Willow told her what happened before I got a chance too. I think Tara did a lot of research and figured it out." Buffy tried to fill him in. "She told me last night and now she's gone."

"Perhaps she just went out to get you some breakfast, do you still enjoy donuts before eleven am?" Giles heard the tension in his Slayer's voice.

"I don't think its donuts Giles." Buffy leaned back on the bed. "Willow and I had a huge fight, world ending one if you know what I mean and now Tara's really upset cause she can't bare to have everyone hurting so much."

"Well perhaps she needed a distraction, is Dawn there? Perhaps she took her shopping." Giles tried to come up with alternatives.

"I think she's gotten to that fork in the road that says being with Buffy is too hard." The Slayer frowned.

"Buffy Tara has had to face some very hard things in her young life." Giles reminded gently. "I don't think she is the type to give up on something just because it is hard at the moment."

"I don't like to think about how much..." Buffy went to growl at the Watcher again when her mind seemed to tumble for a moment.

All of the blonde's words the night before had been either to reassure her that she hadn't been dead and that the knowledge of that didn't change anything. Then when she'd gotten back from patrol, Tara had done a three sixty away from anything to do with her and seemed focused on something completely different.

It was still about death, about pain, but in terms where Tara was trying to still fight against it.

On surface even she'd accepted, seemed rather strengthened by the revelation that Buffy had never died. If only because it reassured the blonde to the fact that Buffy was meant to be where she was right now, alive and in Sunnydale. But in the dark, when for the longest time Buffy had just stayed quite and Tara had cried it hadn't been about that. It had just been about pain, it had just been about feeling out of control and Buffy realized that led to one thing.

"I know where she's gone." She announced to Giles seemingly forgetting that he was across the ocean.

"Who do we all go to when we feel lost and afraid Giles?" Buffy put forward softly.

The line went quiet for a moment as the Watcher obviously thought about Buffy's questions.

"Buffy, her mother's dead." Giles subtly reminded not really wanting to for fear of how it may make the Slayer feel.

"But there's still a place Tara can find her." Buffy countered softly as she remembered their brief discussion the night before about her destroying her headstone. To her it had been a symbol, a rite of passage back from death permanently for her. Somewhere there stood a stone with a name that meant Mother to Tara and that stone had the rite to stand.

"Lady of Divinity Cemetery." The Slayer dug up the name from a conversation. "I have to go Giles, I think I know a way to get there." She sat back up. "I'll call you back later okay?"

"Okay, bye." Buffy hung up the phone and raced to the closet to pull on clothes.

Tara pushed up from her knees, and slowly carried the small collection of clear plastic wrap and mottled pink wrapping paper that she had stripped from around the dozen white roses she had just placed in the small rose bowl stood beside the tall, slightly weathered marble headstone. She took soft, slow steps over to the nearest trashcan and placed the garbage in it before making the short trip back to the graveside. Once again she dropped down to her knees on the soft but cold grass.

Sadly she reached out and toyed with the arrangement of the flowers for a moment as chilled tears trickled down over her cheeks. Her blue eyes filled with more yet unshed ones.

It was obvious that up until this point the young Wicca had been silent. First taking the time to clean the grave area, though obviously it didn't really need it, all the graves were kept immaculately clean. But Tara had needed too it was just something she did. She had even run over the marble stone and gold lettering with a handkerchief that she had tucked into her shoulder purse.

"I miss you momma." She whispered as more tears spilled over. She let them fall unchecked as she picked at some blades of grass.

"I know you told me you'd always be with me, but I feel so far from you." The young woman whispered sadly. She let herself ease sideways a little off her knees to rest more comfortably on her thighs, curling her legs around neatly. She pulled her long dark purple skirt down over to cover any of her skin that was already chilled too much to care.

"I'm so tired momma." Tara admitted. "Why doesn't the pain ever stop?" A sob choked in her throat that broke the Wicca completely. She dropped her head forward she began to cry harder.

It hadn't taken much of her stealth to allow Buffy to trudge up the small hill and stand behind Tara as the blonde cried. The Slayer had wanted to gather Tara into her arms, but she hesitated for a moment before she spoke.

"Hi Mrs. Maclay." Buffy spoke softly looking over Tara's bowed head to the face of the stone. "I really wish we could have met under different circumstances because I really need to tell you a few things about your daughter. Though I know you've been watching over her all this time and you probably want to give me a very big lecture for putting her in danger so much."

The crying Wicca's head moved slowly up and turned as the Slayer spoke. Her watery blue eyes opened and looked at her lover, almost in disbelief.

"And I know that no matter what heavenly place in this universe you are, you've felt ever bruise and every heartache with her." Buffy stepped off to the left a bit and knelt down. "I know that if we're really lucky my Mom's up there somewhere with you, relying on all the years she spent watching the world almost end to help you understand the little there is to understand in all this." Buffy studied the gold lettering that spelled out Charlotte Maclay, remembering from the pictures that Tara had shown her the resemblance between them. "I just want to tell you something you probably already know. I have never in my life met anyone who has gone through as much horrible things as your daughter has with such grace and love." She looked briefly at Tara with a soft smile.

"And I know that a big part of that is you, because you gave her the guidance to be who she is. Just as my Mom gave me the strength to be who I am." Buffy looked back at the stone. "And nothing in my life was as hard as losing her." She looked into the grass for a moment. "I can't stop the pain in this world, none of us can, but I promise you I'll do my best not to add to it anymore."

"See momma, I told you." Tara said quietly reaching out for Buffy's hand. "She loves me, as much as I love her." Moving almost gracefully from her place Tara pressed herself into Buffy's body resting her head on the Slayer's strong shoulder.

"There was no meeting this week." Cinderella shifted her weight from one foot to the other subconsciously. "Iris was sick or something, but I hung around and Pandora tried to go. So that's worth something right?" She rubbed at her arms.

For a moment there came no reply from the darkness that filled the small room almost as if the young woman had addressed no one. But then there was a small rustling sound, like the movement of material from within the black.

"No, it was cancelled." Cinderella repeated. "But she showed, so she's still on the wagon."

"Agitated when she found out it was cancelled." Cinderella swallowed. "She seemed worried, upset but calm before that."

"Yes, she loves the meetings. She goes on and on and on about how she's doing." Cinderella stepped forward.

"But she's not doing as well as you is she my little flower?" The voice changed slightly.

"But soon I don't have to do it anymore do I?" Cinderella's voice became a little more urgent as did her breathing.

"Soon no." The reply reassured. "Soon many things will change." A low chuckle waved out of the darkness.

Willow looked though the various tops on the hangers then glanced over her shoulder at Heather. The brunette was busy looking at running shoes. As a shopper you couldn't help but feel invited to browse by the open aisles and well thought out displays of the shop.

"How do you choose?" The redhead asked a bit overwhelmed by the amount of merchandise available. One brand stating claim on the most breathable fabric, another on a space aged reflective technology. It was all enough to make the hacker's naïve running mind spin.

"Mostly on colors." Heather smiled and laughed. "What about these?" She held up a snappy little running shoe with colorful pink and purple accents.

"Mmmmm green and pink." Heather put the shoe back and looked around the giant wall of shoes that ran the entire length of the store.

"What about..." Heather reached up pulling one down. "Green, pink and a hint of yellow?" She held the shoe up modeling it.

"So cute." Willow took the shoe and held it out in front of her grinning brightly.

"See reflective strip for visibility, so the yellow is both attractive and safety conscious." Heather smiled as she inspected.

"Do they make tops with little kitty cats running on them?" Willow asked starting to get very excited about her new running outfit.

"If they do we'll find them." Heather sat down on one of the small chairs while the salesperson checked Willow's size and then went to the back.

"No thank you." Heather smiled back. "I get a running partner, and one in a cute outfit at that."

"I keep saying I'm going to move away from cute." Willow explained with a laugh.

"Well you know, approaching twenty one, grown up and all that." Willow shrugged.

"Better than twenty four while still lanky and awkward." Heather assessed herself.

"You're not awkward." Willow tapped the brunette's knee lightly. "And you can't help having skinny legs and they're not that skinny." She backed up.

"Willow, it's okay. I know I'm awkward." Heather shook it off. "Voted girl most likely to have her head in a book." She tried not to react too much to Willow's appraisal of her legs.

"You're woman of the world compared to me." Heather countered causing the redhead to laugh out loud.

"Oh yeah I'm big out and proud world changer me." Willow chuckled shaking her head.

"Hardly." Willow shook her head. "Tara is the one and only woman I've ever dated."

"At least you've gone on a date." Heather turned her words softening as she inspected a brochure.

"You have too, you know, be gay to go on a date with a girl." Willow pointed out subtly. "The fact you haven't isn't a big deal."

"I meant more on a date with anyone." Heather turned shyly to her. "Male or female."

"As you can guess my teenage years we're a little too complicated for the whole dating thing." Heather shrunk considerably. "And well... basically I win in the geek department." She stood up as the clerk came back with Willow's shoes handing her to box to try them on.

Willow was about to answer but the clerk interrupted and she had to go through the procedure of trying on the shoes that turned out to be a perfect fit. Heather milled around pulling out a few co-coordinated running jackets and pants.

"We're probably getting a jacket as well." Willow explained to the clerk who nodded.

"Why don't you walk around in them while you browse and make sure you're happy?" The clerk gave her the freedom as he retreated to help another customer.

"Nothing, why?" Heather held out two jackets for the redhead's inspection. One was solid green with yellow reflective bands, the other pink and white.

"You are now." Willow nodded confidently. "Like the pink and white." She added casually.

"What are we doing?" Heather questioned a bit unsure what Willow was getting at.

"We're doing on a date." The redhead grinned. "Before you panic about the girl not a real one." She added quickly afraid Heather might panic.

"I liked it better..." Heather went to hang up the green and fumbled as Willow explained the plan. "What is a not real date Willow?" She managed to finally get the hanger around the bar.

"It's something that two friends who have not been out in a long time and who need a break go on to have a great Friday night." Willow explained grinning.

"Oh." Heather smiled suddenly feeling a lot less pressured. "Sounds great, where are we going?" She smiled softly offering Willow the jacket to try on.

"Well there's the Bronze, the Bronze or the Bronze." Willow took the jacket. "If we want lively." She shrugged it on and wiggled around in it.

"Or there's various restaurants for the quieter touch." Willow nodded that indeed the top felt great. "Or we could go traditional and grab a movie."

"Do you want quiet or lively?" Heather questioned pointing out a mirror for her to have a look out how well the jacked fit.

"No logically you should choose." Heather handed her back the matching snap pants. "You have fake date experience."

"Help me pick something out, I don't want you to be all new and shiny while I'm in my old navy thing." Heather smiled and dragged the hacker towards another rack.

"This is where my momma used to bring me for picnics, Dad would take Donnie fishing or something, and momma would bring me here." Tara slipped her hand into Buffy's and leaned her head on her shoulder as the strolled down the winding sandy path that led through the pretty tree lined park.

There came the sound of running water from somewhere nearby and the sound of birdsong echoed around in the air. Children's laughter and teenagers calls came from the large field where several games of soccer were being played and in a nearby playground toddlers wobbled their way to their mother's arms while their fathers sat by taking photographs or setting video players recording before dashing into the view finders.

"We used to come here a lot." Tara mused softly slipping her hand out of Buffy's to hold her around the waist. Though just as soon as her arm settled she pulled back. "Do you mind me doing that?" She asked with a sudden frown.

"Why would I mind?" Buffy questioned as she eased Tara's arm back around her waist.

"Tara, I've spend all of my life hiding the fact that I'm the slayer." Buffy explained and kissed the crown of blonde hair. "That I'm in love with you is something I don't want to hide, even if some idiot out there thinks I should."

"Did you mind me bringing us here? I just didn't want to go back to Sunnydale just yet." Tara shivered slightly against Buffy's body.

"You can take me anywhere, especially away from Sunnydale for awhile." Buffy snuggled in with her.

"We could always stay." Tara suggested. "We could call Xander he could pick Dawn up, couldn't he?"

"I love you too." The Slayer leaned in and kissed her lover not caring who in the world was there to witness.

Anya paced around carefully stepping over strewn books and broken glass. She looked at each of the gathered Scoobies with tears welling in her eyes.

"I don't understand." She looked around at the mess. "Why would anyone break into my store just to make a mess and not even steal the money? Do these thieves not know that their purpose is to steal is money not break things."

"All the weapons are fine, I don't even think they went in the back room." Buffy emerged from the training area and frowned at the look on Anya's face.

Not really paying attention to the conversations around her Tara climbed up the short iron staircase to the restricted books above. She felt heavy and defeated as stood there at the top. This had been the last thing anyone had needed, let alone what she needed to come back to after her time away with Buffy.

"Well the only thing we can do An is clear up everything and then make a list of what's missing." Xander moved over and tried to reassure his fiancée. "The insurance will cover what's missing."

Clearing her mind, it took Tara less than a minute to scan over the books in the disheveled top section.

"Well know I don't know for sure but I know what they took from here." Tara explained as Willow joined her up at the top.

"The Almanac of Eleftherios?" Willow took a quick scan of the `forbidden' books and put the title forward.

"Yes, and something else I think." Tara knelt down and began piling the scattered books neatly to order them in her mind before she glanced up at Willow. "Chantry of Hikmat isn't here." She checked that the redhead had noticed too.

"It's not." Willow nodded looking over and moving a few back onto the shelves to take stock. Carefully reaching behind another stack she undid the secret latch to reveal an empty hidden compartment.

"And the Herakleides." She frowned deeply. "This is not good." She commented under her breath to the blonde.

"The rest of this was just cover, if there's anything else missing it won't be anything important." Tara said quietly as she held Willow's eyes.

"None of it would matter if you had enough sense to pick out those three titles." Willow nodded.

"Someone's trying to get themselves a very bad witchy book collection." Willow tried to sum up the circumstances.

"The police are on their way." Anya moved to the bottom of the stairs. "What's going on up there."

"There are some books missing." Buffy looked back at her. "The witches aren't happy, so I think this wasn't your normal break in."

"Anya someone took the Herakleides, the Chantry of Hikmat and the Almanac of Eleftherios." Willow filled in knowing the ex-demon would see the significance.

"The Herakleides, the Chantry of Hikmat and the Almanac of Eleftherios!" Anya repeated with an even bigger scowl. "Well we're all doomed then. I said it was a bad idea keeping them all here. That silly hidden compartment was no good at all."

"Okay, anyone want to fill in the Slayer as to why three books mean we are all doomed?" Buffy pushed getting agitated by the aura of fear around her. "Is this something to do with our finger voodoo guy?"

"This isn't voodoo." Tara shook her head seriously. "This is something far more serious and far more dangerous."

"Have I mentioned lately how much it pisses me off when people try to open my Hellmouth?" Buffy growled angry.

"But I have my wedding all planned." Anya whined from down on the ground floor. "This isn't fair." She slumped onto the long table bench in a forlorn heap.

"Anya the wedding is going ahead, I will deal with Hellmouth openings." Buffy stated firmly looking very resolved.

"We need to figure out how they are going to fit the books together." Willow assessed pushing a few more of the black arts books into their places. As she ran her hand over a familiar title, she suppressed a shiver and pulled her hand away.

"Yes?" Willow looked up to Tara, ignoring Buffy continued assurance to Anya with Xander's agreement that the wedding would go on as planned.

"Did you ever get round to doing your half of the security spell on the Herakleides?" She didn't want to make Willow feel any worse, but it was information she needed.

"I can find it." She whispered turning away from Willow. She knew the redhead would know what the retrieval spell entailed.

"You'll need a copy of the Chantry though." Willow reminded softly feeling her addiction and subsequent magical uselessness crash down on her. "I can start doing checks on the auctions, just in case anyone is selling anything dubious." She tried to find some sort of place within the Scooby dynamic.

"My mother has a Chantry. She had a Chantry." Tara corrected herself softly. "I know where it is, it will be quicker."

"You could ask Spike if he knows anything about this." Tara suggested gently. "I have to drive to the house." She looked away from both Buffy and Willow. She shivered at the idea of having to go anywhere near her father's house, both out of fear of the man and agony over the memories the walls held for her.

"No, bad idea." Willow instantly backed the Slayer up. "Buffy can go with you and I can go talk to Spike." She put forward a new plan.

"It makes sense." Willow pushed up to stand and brushed herself off. She didn't make eye contact with Buffy as she went down the stairs.

Willow carefully opened the crypt door and pushed in closing it behind her. The last thing she wanted to do was accidentally fry Spike with a bolt of the bright early morning sunlight before she got the answers she needed. Not that she was completely confident anymore over why she'd volunteered to come anyway.

`You know why, Tara had to go home and she needed someone there to protect her. Buffy can protect her.' She reminded herself as she looked around. `And you need to show her you can be a good friend, a good friend who can do this for them when it's the most helpful thing you can be doing.'

"I need to talk to you." Willow began honestly. "Something or someone broke into the Magic Box."

"Well I bet that burst Anya's bubble." Spike strolled in from the back of the crypt puffing on a smoke.

"Well don't go looking at me." Spike caught her unhappy look and hopped up on a stone casket.

"We didn't think it was you." Willow shook her head. "But we thought you might know who'd have any use for some very powerful spell books?"

"Well Red since you're on the wagon, I wouldn't have a clue." He smiled broadly at the redhead. "You're on the wagon right?" He checked.

"I am." She nodded. "And I wouldn't have any purpose opening up the Hellmouth even if I wasn't." She clarified.

"Opening up the Hellmouth?" Spike looked vaguely impressed. "So what's been nabbed?" He swung his legs and puffed on his cigarette.

"A copy of the Herakleides, the Chantry of Hikmat and the Almanac of Eleftherios." Willow filled in knowing it was pointless to hide the information if she wanted him to co-operate at all.

"Exactly." Willow agreed. "But not many people have that amount of information. We both know that."

"You sure it wasn't you? You know I could understand it Red." Spike slipped off the stone and made a slow lap around the hacker.

"I don't do magic anymore." Willow responded her voice weaker then she wanted it to be.

"I mean its not as if anyone's been very understanding of you is it?" He ignored her sentence and continued. "All that power you gave up and for what eh?" He looked at her slightly sideways. "Didn't get your little Wicca girl back did it? Where is Blondie and the Slayer?" He asked quickly. "Why aren't they beating down my door?"

"They have other things to take care of so I volunteered to come see you." Willow shifted her body a little feeling uncomfortable in her own skin.

"Other things eh?" Spike nodded knowingly and dropped his smoke stubbing it out.

"Haven't called it `other things' ever myself but its as good a term as any I guess." He shrugged and opened his coat to pull out the packet of cigarettes in the inner pocket.

"They had to go and get a replacement copy of the Chantry so we can trace the Herakleides." Willow explained.

"And of course you had to stop Red, I mean what good could all of that power done you anyway?"

"Spike, I'm not here to debate the purpose of my quitting with you. Do you know anyone whose got enough power or knowledge to be planning this?" She finally found some resolve.

"Easy Red." Spike held his hand up in defense. "I was just trying to be all friendly like. So where's Buffy and little bird gone?" He pushed.

"Tara's mother had a copy of the book, they've gone to get it." Willow explained.

"What gone to little man Maclay, wife and child beater extraordinaire? My kind of fella." Spike chuckled to himself.

"You're sick." Willow snapped at him and with a quick move she headed for the door.

"Where ya going Red I though we were talking?" He hurried past her and stood in front of the door. "Should be you going with her, protecting her?" Spike said looking carefully at the hacker's face.

"I'm being useful and coming to talk to you." Willow's pushed the words out of clenched teeth.

"But just think what you could do to him." Spike snarled lightly. "Well could have done. Now I suppose Buffy is the best one to be with her. You being powerless and all." He shrugged and nodded.

"Yeah just like me, except someone did this to me, and you did it to yourself." Spike pointed out. "And you could undo it." He added to bait her.

"Spike, do you know anyone who'd have wanted to steal the books?" Willow questioned again tired.

"No, I don't alright. So just run along and report back to the Scoobies that Spikey was no help." Spike suddenly seemed tired too and moved from the door.

"Spike if someone is trying to open the Hellmouth you are in just as much danger as the rest of us." Willow followed his move turning from the door.

"Yeah and I'll face that when it comes and I'll fight as hard as I can, rather than sitting back because I `need' not to use the power I do have." He snarled.

Tara's hand physically shook as she turned the key and pulled it out of the ignition glancing up at the house in front of them.

"Tara, don't worry." Buffy nodded. "We go in get stuff, we leave. If they say anything I'll deal okay?"

The blonde glanced over to her lover and swallowed nodding gently. She'd not been inside the house since she had left three years before. She had no idea if anything was even the same. Releasing her seat belt she slipped out of the car and pulled her jacket closer around her.

Buffy moved quickly out with her and led her up the walk to the porch but before the pair got to the door it eased open.

"Well look what we have here." Donnie's voice called his figure taking up the doorway.

"Don't you mean drop something off?" He looked from Buffy to his sister and back.

"No." Buffy shook her head. "So how about me make this easy and you just let us get it and leave."

"Dad won't be pleased if you go messing around with Ma's things." Donnie shook his head.

The side of his eye twitched slightly and he backed out of the doorway. Tara glanced at Buffy and moved into the house with the Slayer close behind her.

Tara forced herself not to shiver as she walked down the narrow photograph lined hall straight to the stairs. The whole house made her feel cold inside and out but she couldn't focus on that now. Buffy was right just in, take and out. It was simple.

Buffy let barely a pace fall between them wanting to keep as close to Tara as possible. Donnie followed behind Buffy silently. Taking the stairs carefully, Tara led the small group up to the middle landing and then up to the top rooms. Taking hold of a small brass door handle, she stopped forcing herself to breathe.

"Hey Donnie, why don't we let Tara go in and get what she wants." Buffy stopped shy of the blonde and blocked his movement closer.

"That wasn't so much as a request as a reminder I can snap you in half so stay back there and be quiet." Buffy turned and glared at him. He opened his mouth to speak but had nothing to say. "Take whatever you need Tara." She called softly at her lover.

Tara took another deep breath and nodded very slightly turning the handle to the door. She pushed into the room to reveal a small yet highly feminine room beyond the door painted white but with white backed floral wallpaper on two adjacent walls. A small single bed was stood in the middle of the room still perfectly made with a floral comforter and matching pillows. Several framed pictures of flower fields and young animals were hung on the walls and a tall mirror stood over on the far side next to a thin window that overlooked the back garden. The curtains that hung at the window matched the comforter perfectly.

Tara took a shaky step inside and moved over the whitewashed floorboards to the bed. Still shaking she sat down on the edge of it; the creak from the old springs echoing in her mind as if the sound had never faded from her ears. Her place on the bed now put her directly opposite a large white painted built in closet the doors of which were held closed by a pink ribbon.

Taking a moment Tara settled herself before moving to the closet and pulling loose the ribbon. The door fell instantly open revealing a few coat hangers with jackets and dresses on them and on the floor were shoes and boots along with a smallish black box held closed by a dull brass padlock.

Dropping down to her knees Tara pulled the box out of the closet and carried it back to the bed putting it down on the comforter. Tara slid her hand into the front pocket of her jeans and pulled out a small heart shaped key ring with only three small keys on it.

"Tara, you can take the whole box if you want." Buffy whispered quietly watching her through the door.

"Wh-Wh-What?" Tara had completely shut out anything and everything else so Buffy's voice almost shocked her.

"Yeah and maybe I'll tell Daddy how you're sitting in his house smoking something very un-tobacco while he's at work." Buffy narrowed her eyes at him keeping her voice very low so Tara couldn't hear.

"I might be little." Buffy stepped closer pinning him to the wall. "I might be a girl, but I can still kick your ass so watch it."

"One of these Butch Dykes is ya?" His voice was sharp even though it was chocked in his throat.

"Look at you with all the big city lingo, you been watching re-runs of Jerry Springer?" Buffy gave him a tight smile.

The sound of the front door slamming shut suddenly echoed through the house and made them all momentarily freeze.

"Father's home." Tara's voice sounded like a scared child as she looked with bright blue eyes in panic from Buffy at the door to the box in her lap.

"Let's go." Buffy stepped away from Donny and moved to the bed. She picked up the box tucking it under her arm. "Come on." She held her hand out for Tara.

"Oh no you ain't going nowhere." Donnie moved after her standing in the doorway.

"Is he going to listen to reason?" Buffy asked Tara impatiently. She knew her lover wouldn't want her to simply resort to moving him unless it was necessary.

"DONNIE WHO YOU GOT ROUND HERE?" Mr. Maclay's voice called angrily from downstairs.

"Its Tara Pa and that blonde woman from Sunnydale!" Donnie turned and looked over his shoulder calling back loudly to his father whose footsteps could be heard on the lower stairs.

"Yep, and we're leaving." Buffy looked at Tara who seemed frozen in fear. She looked behind her to the window and quickly pulled Tara back with her. The last thing she wanted to have to do, if only for the blonde's sake, was beat up her brother and father. Even if they did, in her humble opinion deserve it. Resting the box on the bed she wretched open the painted shut window frame.

"Here we go darling." She whispered to Tara, picking the blonde up and easing her outside to deposit her safely on the roof of the back porch.

"We're leaving." Buffy smiled back at him, looking to the closet as something shiny on one of the coats caught her eye.

"I really don't care much for your father Donny, but I won't kick his ass cause I respect your mother's memory too much." She took the coat off the hanger and wrapped it around the box before hopping up into the windowsill. "Thanks for your help." She grinned and dropped down to join Tara on the roof.

Buffy assessed routes off the roof as she heard Mr. Maclay's voice booming again as he came up the last few stairs.

"We gotta go baby." She smiled softly at Tara as she offered her arm to the blonde.

"Go?" Tara blinked her eyes in Buffy's general direction as if trying to order things.

"I trust you." Tara gave her lover a thin smile as she assessed the jump for herself.

"I know and I wouldn't do anything that would hurt you." Buffy put a secure arm around the taller blonde and lifting her up slightly jumped. The awkwardness of the box made her slightly off balance but she managed to shield both it and Tara from the ground with her body when they rolled into a landing.

"You okay?" She checked quickly helping Tara to her feet again. Tara nodded somewhat mutely. "You have to drive love." Buffy reminded hurrying her around the side of the house as two angry male faces filled the window they'd exited through.

"Of course." Tara tried to keep the shake out of her voice as they hurried down the driveway.

Once she settled the Wicca inside she slid over the hood to her side hearing Mr. Maclay's angry calls to his daughter as he ran to catch up with them. Pushing the car into reverse Tara skidded out of the drive and bumped down onto the road spinning the tires a little as she pushed the engine into drive and pulled away.

"Safe and sound." Buffy unwrapped the coat from around the box as they sped off and assessed that neither had been damaged.

"I'm s-s-sorry I froze." Tara apologized as she calmed down both her speed and her shaking body.

"Oh and this." Buffy held up the coat not sure if Tara had noticed what she had wrapped the box in. "I noticed you looking at the broach." She folded the thick wool material carefully over and showed it to Tara.

"And now it's where it should be, with you." Buffy whispered back, resting the coat very carefully between them so that it was slightly over Tara's leg.

"Thank you for coming with me " Tara took her hand briefly off the wheel and rested it on the coat her fingers automatically going to the broach tracing around and around it.

"I love you, it's where I wanted to be." Buffy assessed with a broad smile when she saw how happy the simple article of clothing made the blonde.

"Buffy, worse case scenario, what's happening in Sunnydale is very, very bad." Tara's voice dropped even lower.

"In exactly what way?" Buffy turned watching her lover drive. She needed a full explanation.

"The three books that have been taken, when combined create a volume of immense power. Capable of anything." Tara explained. "That's why usually they are never kept together." She pointed out the flaw in their actions.

"So why did we have all three at the magic shop? Just out of curiosity." Buffy smirked.

"It just sorta happened I think." Tara relayed regretfully. "But Mr. Giles made Willow and I cast a security spell on the most powerful of the books."

"Okay, so then how powerful do you have to be to stick the three of them together?" Buffy questioned further. "Especially with your duo security."

"Well effectively whoever it is can't combine them." Tara explained further. "Not with our seals on them, not unless somehow they have access to Willow or my magic." Tara said softly.

"Now I'm going to do my scary thinking like a psycho." Buffy went serious as she let the information mull over in her brain. "If I stole the books and then found out that the only way I could do what I wanted with them was to get either you or Willow to undo the security..." She didn't finish; she hoped the blonde would see where she was going with it.

"Then you'd want to get Willow or I to undo the spell." Tara finished for the Slayer in a whisper.

"How long is it going to take our unfriendly book thief to figure out they can't use the books?" Buffy queried feeling a slightly nauseous feeling come over her.

"Not long." Tara admitted. "Though narrowing down the identity of the sealers will take more time." She tried to encourage. "For what its worth Buffy." She took a slight breath. "Willow's relatively safe because she hasn't cast in along time which nullifies her signature and I'm with you."

"Both very good things." Buffy said trying to see the bright side though she didn't smile.

The Slayer paced her small corner of the bedroom nervously watching Tara. The blonde's still form was sat in the middle of the bed, the small green Chantry book open on her lap.

The Wicca had outlined to her nervous lover that the spell to track the Chantry needed extreme focus. For this reason she'd been meditating for almost an hour. Her body was so still and her breathing so shallow that Buffy would have questioned if the blonde had fallen asleep had Tara not slowly reached out and turned a page as they approached the one-hour mark.

The four corners of the room were light with large pillar candles, there flames died down to soft low flickers as Tara began to whisper a chant signaling that the spell had begun.

The downstairs held a similar tense atmosphere as Willow and Dawn tried to make time go quicker by playing a board game.

"I have a chance of winning tonight." Dawn moved her piece forward and then shook the dice and moved another piece. "I m sure Tara would want me to play her piece as well." She moved the small yellow piece as well.

"If you keep rolling doubles I won't have a chance." Willow smiled trying not to think of the spell that was going on upstairs. A spell she was more than competent enough to perform but one that she simply couldn't. That was the sticking point that made her feel sick inside.

"Oh yeah." Willow nodded. "Just ya know, trying not to tune into the witchiness. I'm on the no witchy wagon."

"You are and we're all so proud of you." Dawn's smile was massive. "Buffy's adamant that we're not to slip out though." She added with a slight sigh. "I mean we could be out doing something more interesting then playing Sorry."

"Yeah I'm kinda getting used to it again." Dawn admitted taking some chips out of the nearly empty bowl.

"Is there a window open?" Willow questioned shivering slightly as she felt a chill roll over her.

"Cold breeze." Willow looked around with her as the hair on the back of her neck stood up. Every window was closed. In fact even the drapes were closed.

"Everything looks closed to me, perhaps the back door vents open." Dawn suggested not sure what Willow was feeling.

"Could just be me." Willow tried to brush it off as she rolled and moved her pieces.

"Heather picked it out for me, very cute." Willow reassured her. "All pink white and green."

"The running store off Main Street." Willow filled in though she continued to feel the cold breeze running over her. "They have great stuff, very specialized."

"I didn't know there was a running shop off Main Street." Dawn replied thinking.

"Sadly called `The Running Man'." Willow laughed as she checked her playing cards. "But it has really great stuff. If you need new shoes for gym let me know and we can go there."

"She's good." Willow nodded not even realizing that she smiled as she spoke. "We're going out Friday night, just to the Bronze for some fun." She turned again feeling another shiver go up and down her spine.

"That's cool." Dawn encouraged. "You want me to go check the door?" She added with a slight frown as she watched the hacker's reaction to the mysterious breeze.

"No, I'll do it. I'm sure it's just..." Willow stood up and turned just as the lights in the house dimmed down and shivered with her as another chilled wave washed over her.

"Power surge." Dawn said with a slight shrug. "It does it sometimes, you know that, where did Tara put the candles?" She looked round at the desk behind her.

"I'm not sure." Willow closed her eyes as she took a slow breath and felt another chill. As she listened to Dawn fumble in the background she felt a stab of nausea rumble into her stomach like she hadn't felt in weeks. She hadn't felt that feeling in all the weeks since her last magical bender when she'd woken up drained, exhausted and completely tapped out.

"TARA!" Willow screamed in warning as she realized the signs the body was giving her and she pushed off towards the stairs.

"Willow?" Dawn frowned her eyes watched the hacker's move only seconds before she pushed herself off in pursuit.

"TARA STOP!" Willow tried to warn again as she reached the upper hall and the house erupted in a shattering sonic boom. The two women were thrown sideways into the hallway as the power sliced past them, the door to Buffy's room rattled off its hinges and thick smoke pillowed out of the cracks for a moment as the noise subsided.

"Oh sweet Goddess no." Willow felt her heart leap into her throat as she pushed her weak legs down the rest of the hall. Without even worrying about the possible fire that had caused the smoke she pushed the door open and went headlong into the room.

The walls and ceiling were black with dusty soot and it took Willow a moment in the melee to realize that under the upturned mattress was Tara. Pushing strength into her shaky arms she flipped the mattress back off and freed the blonde from the rubble.

"Tara? Oh Goddess Tara, please… please be okay." She moved her onto her back to see a stream of blood oozing out of Tara's nose. "Please Tara, please." She took a shredded piece of pillowcase and tried to rub it away as she checked for other injury.

"NO!" Dawn screamed form her place in the doorway, her eyes falling on Willow cradling a bleeding Tara and the devastation around them. "BUFFY!" She screamed even harder when she realized she couldn't see her sister.

"Dawn." Buffy coughed as a sooty hand pushed out of the imploded closed door, the damage obviously caused by the Slayer's unfortunate journey through it as she was thrown back from the impact.

"Will?" A hoarse cough erupted from Tara's somewhat painful lungs, as she let her head turn in Willow's arms.

"You're okay, you're okay." Willow brushed her hair off the blonde's face and held her softly. "Just try to relax and severe the spell connection."

"It's severed." Tara closed her eyes briefly as things started to settle inside her more.

"Dawn, get Buffy out of there." Willow looked up to see the teenager struggling to get the broken closet door open.

"I'm trying." Dawn called back as a piece of it cracked off in her hands and she tossed it to the side.

"It's okay." Buffy pulled herself up inside and shakily stepped out of the whole she'd created.

"No, whoever had the book trapped it." Willow rubbed Tara's pale cheek as her logical mind caught up with the signals her body had been showing her.

"Yes, but with a magical power surge." Tara clarified softly. "A dark magic power seam." She explained further raising a dusty hand to her still bleeding nose.

"Yes, I felt it just before it went boom." Willow frowned as she tried to sop up the blood that was beginning to dwindle.

"Like a bomb but rather than being filled with explosive, it was filled with dark magic." Tara blinked up at the Slayer.

"You okay?" Buffy moved over closer sitting down next to the hacker and her lover.

"Are you okay Will?" Tara checked hoping that the magic overload hadn't injured the redhead in any way.

"Just shivery." Willow gave a soft smile. "And seeing a room blow up with my friends in it freaks me out."

"Good." Buffy smiled at her trying to shake the cobwebs from her head. "So what do we do now?" She looked at the two witches.

"We get the books back." Tara looked at Buffy. "It might have been booby trapped Buffy but if their aim was to hide them they failed." She smiled proud that she'd been able to hang on long enough to locate them.

"It blew up my room, I want to hurt it." Buffy pouted that she had to take a timeout before she went hunting.

"You're going to redecorate it anyway." Dawn jibed with a smile though she was obviously shaken.

"The books are still sealed Will, no one can use them." Tara said softly wanting to reassure the redhead.

"We're gonna need more chips if you two are going to join the board game." Dawn said as she took a few steps to the door trying to ignore all that was going on and focus on something normal. She needed normal right now, not exploding evil magic bomb trapped books.

"I'll help Dawn with the chips." Buffy rubbed Tara's hand softly and hesitated to make sure that the blonde was okay with her leaving. Tara nodded softly that it was best to go comfort the teenager. "Come down when you guys are ready." She nodded back and moved off with Dawn.

Buffy took a deep breath before dipping the brush back into the can of paint and slapping it against the wall. This had all seemed like such a great idea three hours ago when Tara and Dawn had arrived back from the hardware store. But now after discovering that lilac didn't seem to want to go on right in her room, it was all just getting exhausting.

It had taken them a day to clean out the aftermath of the spell, of course she should have known her work wasn't done when Tara and Dawn had made early morning plans to go out paint shopping.

She wiped at her forehead with the corner of her splattered T-shirt. Xander had been helpful enough to come by and re-hang a new closet door. But now even he'd disappeared with Tara, something about a bookshelf, she vaguely remembered. The bottom line was that with everyone else gone she was left up here alone fighting the nauseating paint fumes and slapping yet another coat over the walls.

"Wow, she's looking so pretty." Tara's soft voice came from the door as the blonde witch stopped in the doorway and leaned on the dry frame.

"She better be." Buffy turned with the paintbrush in her hand. "Or I'm tempted to just burn it down and start over." She growled frustrated.

"And who says I was talking about the room?" Tara smiled softly and pushed off the frame but didn't move into the room.

"If you mean me we're getting you're eyes checked." Buffy laughed and wiped again at her forehead.

"Why?" Moving her hands to the bottom of her pale yellow t-shirt, the blonde proceeded to pull it up and off her body.

"Cause I'm all..." Buffy stopped her eyes widening as Tara peeled off the shirt.

"Painty." Tara finished for her lover as she dropped the shirt in the hall and proceeded to loosen her pants.

"And…" Buffy found she didn't have a vocabulary as Tara finished undoing the string and soon the joggers slid off to reveal long silky legs.

"Hot and bothered?" Tara put the joggers in the hall and stepped into the room. "In the frustrated with the walls way?" Picking up a hair tie from off a set of small steps in the room she gathered her hair and secured it in a ponytail.

Tara looked around the room at the dustsheets that covered the floor and the clear plastic that covered the items of furniture that hadn't been moved out. It was all a huge mess she had to admit, but at least it was their mess.

"Where are my over alls?" She looked around unable to see her white decorating overalls.

"What overalls?' Buffy dropped the brush in the paint trough and walked towards the Wicca, her mouth curled up into a slow smile.

Tara watched her lover smile as she approached and matched it with a smile of her own.

"I don't want paint on my panties now do I?" Tara smirked and looked down at her gray panties.

"Well I was just thinking of something that would involve taking those off." Buffy bit her lip moving ever slowly closer, she ran her hands over her own shirt to get the excess paint off them.

"There's no point if having a bath until the rooms finished." Tara's smile grew as Buffy got closer.

"Oh no!" Tara shook her head. "It was Buffy, stop talking, get your shirt off and take me." She giggled.

"Well how could I say or think anything else?" Tara moved and slipped her hands onto Buffy's hips. "I come home, the house is deserted, you're all hot and bothered in the bedroom, which handily enough still has a bed in it." She looked to the bed that was moved into the center of the room.

"Where did everyone go?" Buffy checked as she stripped off her top and pulled Tara back towards the mattress.

"Dawn wanted to decorate the new book shelves, Xander took her back to his place so she could work on it there, so it's a surprise." Tara gave a little squeak as she was pulled back.

"I love my sister for leaving the house." Buffy landed with Tara over her and the bed squeaked a little. "Missed you." She meshed her lips to her lover's.

"Missed you too." Tara said breaking the kiss. "But I now have talents with a jig-saw that you wouldn't believe." She winked and kissed Buffy again.

"Mmmmm more talents and kissage." Buffy slipped her hands around undoing the clasp on Tara's bra.

"Mmmmm you're hand aren't all wet painty are they because me taking my clothes off was to avoid access paint exposure." Tara teased gently.

"We can wash it off later." Buffy smiled as she nuzzled in to kiss the blonde's neck.

"Mmmmm." Tara hummed as she let her fingers drift over Buffy's skin tracing her collarbone.

"You look good in lilac." Buffy leaned up to suck Tara's earlobe and her hands skimmed down to the blonde's butt.

"I'm glad, as the room's going to be very lilac and I plan to spend a lot of time it in." Tara admitted huskily.

"Both." Tara let her body move against Buffy's letting them fit together a little snugger.

"I love you too." Tara confirmed. "We'll work all this out you know." She said gently as she smoothed her fingers over and over Buffy's skin. "All of it." She stressed tenderly.

"I know." Buffy nodded with a soft unsure smile. "I just feel better when we have more to go on."

"No offence, but I don't think we can afford to blow up another room and I am not risking you." Buffy's last words were firm.

"Something will happen, one for the good guys I mean." Tara smiled lovingly at Buffy's defense of her safety. "We'll sort out what's going on, beat it and manage to sort out everything else."

"It will." Buffy agreed her hands moving to slowly soothe down Tara's long back. "I'm sorry about being distant the last few days. The explosion, it just made me worried I wasn't focused enough."

"Apology, though unnecessary, is accepted," Tara snuggled in closer. "Though I have to admit I was beginning to think you were going off me."

"Never." Buffy shifted them slightly so they were both on their sides looking at one another. "It scared me, that you could have been hurt and I couldn't do anything."

"That's one of the things with magic." Tara admitted. "So much of it is out of your control." She ran her hand over Buffy's hip.

"Just promise you'll be careful." Buffy looked deep into blue eyes as her hand trailed over Tara's side.

"I promise." The Wicca vowed and then chuckled softly. "How silly does that sound when you're the Slayer?" She shook her head.

"Not silly." Buffy smiled and kissed her softly. "We all know what I face, magic is a whole other thing."

"I love you too." Buffy mumbled as she opened her mouth drawing the kiss deeper. Her hand splayed out over Tara's back as her knee came up resting against gray panties.

In an instant reflex Tara pushed back against Buffy's knee moaning softly into her girlfriend's mouth as she moved her hand up to play with Buffy's hair. Buffy drew her hand up over bare flesh slowly, curving it around until she cupped her palm against Tara's breast.

"Oh Buffy." Tara breathed out. "Two days is two long." She kissed the Slayer again.

"Way too long." Buffy groaned as she pressed her hand closer feeling flesh rise to harden against her palm. Tara's hands slid down to the waist band of Buffy's shorts running over and over the material. "You not like the shorts?" She whispered as she kissed and sucked at the soft flesh of Tara's neck.

"Should I take them off?" Buffy questioned winding her finger in the corner of they gray that hung to Tara's hips.

"That would depend on whether or not you want me to express my love of what lies beneath." Tara chuckled, her hips flexing as Buffy touched the material there.

"I love to see you express your love." Buffy growled as she kissed Tara full on the lips.

The Wicca curved her body into Buffy's touching her completely as she opened her mouth to the kiss moving her hand up gripping the back of Buffy's head and holding her in place as they kissed.

As their mouths and tongues locked together, Buffy knew she wasn't really getting any closer to getting rid of the shorts but for the moment she didn't care.

Tara too lost track of the fact she was going to remove Buffy's shorts as she increased the pressure on Buffy's head, her tongue exploring all of Buffy's mouth that it could.

On a distinct mission, Buffy's hand spun slightly within the material her palm resting flat against Tara's hip before she side it down towards the warmth she knew was pooling between her lover's legs.

"I hope you're not too painty." Tara broke the kiss to breath before capturing Buffy's lower lip sucking it over an over.

"Do you want me to stop and check?" Buffy questioned when her lip was let go, her fingers stroked over and over through damp curls.

"Of course not." Tara shook her head and flexed her hips easing her legs open more.

"I wasn't painting with this hand." Buffy reassured as she let the tips of two fingers dip slightly coating her skin with the blonde's thick nectar.

"Mmmmm Buffy." Tara's eyes fluttered closed as she felt Buffy move to touch her as she longed to be touched.

"Yes?" Buffy whispered her own voice thick as her fingers slid back and forth the length of her lover.

"Mmmmm very nice." Buffy made another long stroke with her fingers, splitting them as she caressed again so that they rubbed on either side of Tara's hardening center.

"And to think I wasn't even going to bother with the overalls." Tara bit her lip slightly as she pressed her hips forward.

"Just came up to seduce me?" Buffy kissed along Tara's jaw line as her fingers stroke back and forth with more pressure and speed.

"Well in the back of my mind maybe I was testing." Tara admitted tipping her head as Buffy kissed.

"You know I want you." Buffy growled as she centered her fingers to flick at hard nerves.

Buffy locked their lips together again as she pressed two fingers deep inside Tara's wet shivering body. She didn't let internal muscles adjust to the entrance as she pulled back quickly before pressing back in, setting an instant quick steady rock against the cotton barrier at the back of her hand.

Relinquishing her lover's mouth, Buffy shifted down a little trying to pull Tara's panties away to give her hand more movement. Struggling a little she gave up and settle happily on closing her mouth over her lover's breast.

"Oh…mmmmm." Tara gasped in pleasure moving her hand to catch Buffy's nipple between her fingertips as the Slayer drew her soft flesh into her mouth.

As Tara's hand reached her body, Buffy felt herself jump and in addition to their moans and heavy breathing a quick ripping noise filled the air as Slayer strength got the better of spun gray cotton.

The sound registered in Tara's mind and as it did so to did the added freedom this meant. With a grateful sigh she slid her legs open, drawing one up to feel the ruined clothing slip from her hip as she settled over Buffy.

"Sorry." Buffy vaguely apologized as she moved with the Wicca shifting her hand to stroke freely within the blonde's body.

Buffy mumbled her agreement to that fact as she covered every inch of her lover's skin with kisses. Deep inside the blonde she stilled her fingers, bringing her thumb around to rub in time with her hidden fingers.

"Mmmmm Buffy." Tara purred feeling her body flex around Buffy's fingers as the blood surged to her inner areas in a hard hot rush.

Tara felt her hips begin to dance against Buffy's hand as the Wiccan felt her climax begin to build inside her. Desperate to taste Buffy, she reached her hands down cupping Buffy's face and drew it up to kiss her desperately.

The Slayer moved up as she was urged, their lips coming together desperately as her hand began its fast pace again. Feeling the changes in her lover, Buffy pressed carefully against tight inner walls urging them to release as she slowed the movement of her thumb outside to a pressured rub.

On Buffy's gentle working, Tara felt her insides ease letting a new wave of wetness rush over her lover's fingers as she gave a low moan of pleasure. As a new tide released Buffy groaned and capturing Tara's tongue in her mouth to suck on it lightly.

Pulling her tongue free, Tara lured Buffy's into her mouth, repeating the sucking there before breaking the kiss momentarily only to change the angle and hardness as she pressed her tongue back onto Buffy's mouth, exploring eagerly.

Concentrating on the explosive kiss, Buffy's hand slowed though she kept a strong steady rhythm while she guided Tara over onto her back. Smoothly the pair executed the move, Tara sighing softly as the cool plastic covering the bed hit her hot bare back.

Buffy followed her over, slipping one knee up to wedge herself up without losing any of the contact between them. With complete freedom Buffy switched her motion, drawing out her fingers to instantly replace them with her thumb as she pressed the wider portion of the webbing into the blonde's body.

"Oohhh Buffy." Tara moaned low as her body adjusted to Buffy's new motion, loving the change bolts of pleasure coursing through her excited body.

"Two days way too long." Buffy panted as she cupped her body around the blonde moving them together.

"Completely to long." Tara closed her arms around Buffy and eased her legs around one of Buffy's, she rocked harder causing the bed beneath them shifting slightly.

Pressing her tongue deeply into Buffy's mouth Tara moaned into the kiss. Pulling gently on the Slayer's back to increase the strength of their rock. Urged on by the hands around her, Buffy rocked them harder, the movement not being so much about her hand as their two bodies together. The bed beneath them started to sway and squeak on its metal frame.

Tara pressed her hips up as they rocked back and forth causing them to grind together more directly, the sensation of Buffy's thumb inside as they moved caused indescribable pleasure within her.

"Yes Buffy yes." Tara's moans of pleasure became louder as the bed squeaking became quicker.

Buffy couldn't even bother with words. The leg Tara had bent up between her had managed to settle in the most perfect spot and she groaned as she rocked harder with the blonde.

Tara's next orgasm began with a short series of pants and whimpers as she ground her hips and lower body up against Buffy. As she fixed her eyes on her lover, the Slayer's pleasure etched into her face and expression as they moved faster together.

Buffy's eyes traces over Tara's flushed cheeks and shivering lips knowing that they were so close. Not wanting to lose anything she shifted her knee just a little behind her hand so as they rocked even harder Tara could control the pressure.

Sliding one hand off of Buffy's back where she held her, Tara let it move to cup her lover's butt pulling gently as they moved and causing the Slayer to groan as the bed creaked on both the forward and backward motion.

Buffy gave an even louder deeper groan and Tara pulled her closer still. Bracing one hand out into the mattress, she locked lips with the blonde again.

Tara met the kiss with an eagerness that surprised her, driven by pure passion she sucked at Buffy's tongue and lips, biting and sucking as much as she could while keeping their rhythm hard and fast.

Buffy's slayer senses barely registered as the loud squeak in the bed was met by the actual banging of the headboard off the dresser that was placed a few inches from it in the center of the room.

If anything the new deeper noise seemed to inspire the pair, the harder knocking becoming more and more frequent as the pair moved together in a rocking, pushing grinding rhythm in the center of the bed. The sound was punctuated occasionally by a whimper from the blonde beneath and a gasp or groan from the blonde above. Almost in a blur of movement Buffy pushed down and forwards against Tara, the Wicca met the push hard and strong and this last motion pushed them over the edge. Tara cried out in ecstasy as Buffy panted her lover's name over and over.

Barely able to catch their breaths both girls fell sharply forward and down as with a loud hard cracking sound. Something within the bed frame gave way pushing the headboard up against the dresser, sending the front end of the main frame of the bed to the floor. As the frame gave way fully the headboard toppled forward towards the orgasmic pair.

Buffy groaned her surprise as the whole world shifted and plummeted downwards. Lifting her hand off the bed she caught the metal bar of the headboard straining to keep it wedged up.

"We... Mmmmm broke the bed." Buffy panted, her body still locked together with Tara's.

Tara's eyes blinked open for her to see Buffy and the metal headboard the slayer was holding. Slowly a part of her mind registered the fact they were laying at a sloping downwards angle. Her breath was fast and ragged as she met Buffy's eyes again, she nodded a smile tugging at her lips.

"Me either." Tara admitted and paused for a second evening out her breathing slightly. "Er, how do we get out?" She asked noting that they were rather effectively trapped.

"Mmmmm well..." Buffy looked around appraising. "Can you move?" She blushed as she realized how she had the blonde pinned. "If I move my hand that is."

Tara chuckled slightly and unwrapped her legs very carefully from around Buffy's body.

Carefully the Slayer moved her hand back and brought it up to further brace the bed frame.

"Please do, I think it's going to buckle soon." Buffy admitted as the metal bent in her hands.

Managing some how to extract herself somewhat ungracefully Tara more or less fell out of the side off the bed managing to butt her knee in a splodge of lilac paint as she crawled away from the broken frame.

Pushing up from off the floor Tara managed to put her hand in another drip of paint, as well as stand in the original one she'd knelt in before she was actually upright.

"I think so." Tara acknowledged. "How can I help?" She asked as she looked at the broken bed.

"Stay right there." Buffy braced her knees up under her before in a careful move she catapulted herself back landing on her butt dangerously close to the paint can as the bed collapsed completely.

"Ops." Tara grinned across at her lover as she moved the short distance to Buffy and held out her hand to help her up.

"Oops is right." Buffy laughed as she moved up to her feet. "When did that happen? She took a slow deep breath as she grinned.

"I have a strange chorus of you're too sexy for my bed ringing in my head." Buffy laughed and hugged the blonde. Tara laughed too as she held onto her lover.

"Do you think Xander could fix it?" Tara asked glancing over her shoulder at the bed.

"Let's just give it a decent burial." Buffy shook her head. "Do you object to mattress on the floor?"

"We can go bed shopping in like six months when we save up the money." Buffy smiled kissing the blonde softly.

Xander flopped down onto the battered sofa that was somehow perpetually there's when the Scoobies went to the bronze with a wide grin across his face. Willow was seated nearly on the edge of the cushion, perched ready to pounce on something the minute it emerged from the crowd.

"Hey Willow." He appraised the hacker's stiff state as she watched everyone dancing.

"Maybe she's being fashionably late." Xander tried to come up with a reasonable excuse. "Are you sure you weren't supposed to pick her up?"

"Xander, Heather wouldn't know what was fashionable about being late." Willow shook her head. "Not that she's not fashionable or anything, she is and no I was not supposed to pick her up, when I said we were all coming, she said she'd make her own way."

"Come on, you know she's coming." Xander nodded. "What single girl wouldn't want to come and dance the night away on the arm of gorgeous sexy you?" He nudged her.

"It doesn't work any more Xander." Willow said sadly she glanced up to where Tara and Buffy were dancing slightly apart.

"What doesn't work?" Xander glanced with her. "Your incredible sexy charm? That has no cure Wills, even Anya said you looked hot in that dress."

"Do you ever think I'll get over her?" Willow said with a sad sigh, she paid little attention to her best friend's words.

"It's not so much the getting over her as moving on." Xander leaned back. "And Heather is a good start, if she's as pretty as you say."

"Xander, I don't think of Heather as a move on from Tara, I don't think of Heather as anything more than a friend." She defended herself.

"Why not Willow? She's beautiful, intelligent, you like the same things and she's single." Xander questioned.

"Because..."Willow began but she didn't really have much of a follow up not given Xander's run down of the key factors. "But I love |Tara." She said quietly.

"I think someone is looking for you." Xander motioned over to the corner of the bar near the entrance as a slightly agitated slim petite brunette came in. "Just think about it Willow." He encouraged as he went to find his fiancée.

Willow followed Xander's motion and saw Heather instantly. She smiled as she appraised the brunette's long leather skirt, knee high boots, tight navy bodysuit and flowing sheer cover shirt.

'She is beautiful.' She though with another sigh before pushing up from the couch to greet her.

"Willow, oh God I'm sorry I'm so late." Heather pushed through the crowd seeing the redhead. "I was here earlier but I forgot my ID and the bouncer said that after a certain time I had to have it so I went home for it."

"Oh, oh that's no problem." Willow puffed and smiled. "I was just hanging with the gang." sh grinned

"So... hi." Heather smiled softly and clutched her small purse in front of her nervously. "You look really nice." She nodded at Willow's long curve hugging dress.

"What would you like?" The redhead questioned as they maneuvered through the crowd.

"Cranberry juice?" Heather smiled as they reached the bar and she leaned against it slightly.

"So the rest of your friends are here?" Heather questioned moving a little closer as the crowd crushed around them. "They don't mind me coming do they?"

"Not at all, Buffy and Tara are dancing, and Xander and Anya are smooching somewhere." Willow raised her eyes and smiled.

"Well both are worthwhile ways to spend a Friday night." Heather laughed and took her drink when the bartender placed it on the bar.

"Great." Heather moved back towards it with the hacker, finding the little haven nice as she sat down.

"So do you mind the guys being here?" Willow asked glancing to see Buffy and Tara still dancing.

"Oh course not." Heather shook her head. "I mean I'm the outsider, them being here is the norm not the other way around."

"They're really great, Buffy was worried that you might not come because of her." Willow took a sip of her orange pop.

"Well seeing the Slayer makes me not feel so intimidated by her." Heather glanced up to the pair dancing.

"There's no reason to be intimidated by her, she can't help being the Slayer, it's a birthright thing." Willow chuckled softly.

"A little." Willow nodded. "We've sent cards and she bought me a cute key chain bear." She picked up her purse to show off the small trinket.

"I few, here and there." Heather conceded. "But you have this whole family of people built around you."

"They're like a family." Willow agreed. "With all the fallings out too." She added with a smile. "Jut like you and Hannah no doubt."

"I wouldn't recommend a Glaive sister fight to anyone." Heather laughed lightly.

"Trudeau usually, she hates it when we're bickering." Heather admitted causing Willow laughed harder.

"Hey." Willow said with a bright smile. "Guys this is Heather, Heather Xander and Anya."

"Hey Heather, nice to finally meet you. Willow talks about you all the time." Xander kept grinning.

"You're Willow's lecturer friend." Anya looped her arms through Xander's. "This is Xander he's my fiancé so you can't have him." She pointed out.

"I'm glad to finally meet you both." Heather looked between them remembering Willow's warnings about Anya's abruptness.

"Yes we're glad to meet you, we now have some filling snacks to buy." Anya pulled on Xander's arm and they disappeared as quickly as they arrived.

"I take it that was me getting the once over." Heather laughed as she sipped at her drink.

"Was there a secret sign in there to say I passed or failed?" Heather questioned seriously.

"There is no pass or fail and anyway Anya mentioned that Xander and she were engaged means she must think your nice. Nice enough to want Xander anyway." She laughed more.

"Well that does wonders for a shy girls ego." The brunette laughed smiling at Willow's comfortable demeanor.

"You're not shy, you're a lecturer and lecturers can't be shy." Willow assessed.

"Lecturing is just about exchanging information." Heather contradicted. "The rest of the world makes me shy."

"In front of huge crowds." Willow put in knowing that it was the point that would probably make her so nervous if she had to give a lecture.

"Huge crowds paying me to talk to them." Heather brought up another point. "No one here wants to hear me talk about nuclear particles and a theory of energy."

"I once had a psych lecturer who thought that no one really wanted to listen to anything that wasn't in some way self edifying." Willow put in thoughtfully. "Not sure she was right."

"I think there are different types of listening..." Heather was about to launch into an intellectual discussion when she stopped herself. "Okay brainiac Heather needs to not be let into clubs when we're supposed to be having a good time."

"Oh yeah." Willow nodded. "I can bop with the best." She gave a very willow grin.

"Oh." Willow looked up briefly. "Oh yes, that would be…" She paused briefly. "Nice." She pushed off the couch.

"You're teasing me." Heather giggled as she put the slight strap of her purse over her shoulder and let Willow lead her to the dance floor.

Willow secured them a small spot fairly central on the floor and fell in quickly with the songs rhythm. Heather focused on their dancing, intoxicated by the hard infectious rhythm.

"So do you come here often?" Willow leaned in and called to Heather over the loud beat.

"No, but it's nice." Heather laughed at the Willow's play on the old line. "Do you come here often?"

"Only when not working so hard on my studies." Willow gave the cheesy answer and a wide grin.

"I think you do it just to show off your high IQ." Heather moved closer trying to make sure that Willow's mood didn't drop and she was rewarded when the redhead laughed again.

"Better late than never." Heather noted feeling stupid again for the ID debacle.

"Definitely, do you two have drinks? Buffy's just gone to get refills." The blonde questioned politely.

"Just got some." Willow explained. "I got thinking of chips though when I started dancing, you like chips Heather?" She looked at her dancing partner.

"I'll go get." Willow began a move away when Tara spoke out to stop her, but the redhead was already hurrying towards her the bar.

"I guess she really likes chips." Heather commented as startled as Tara when Willow darted away.

"More cause I'm a social misfit and you're all really close." Heather shook her head to the blonde's worry.

"I'm sure you're not." Tara shook her head back. "And you can't be any more of one that I am." She glanced down at herself somewhat nervously.

"Tara the Stuttering freak - a guru?" She laughed more and shook her head gently.

"Do you want to sit down?" Heather found it suddenly so hard to talk over the music.

"I guess it always feels hard to be the outsider." Heather appraised as they sat down realizing that at one point Tara must have been in the same position.

"It does, especially in a group like the Scoobies but they are such loving people you quickly find your place, even if its not the one you thought it would be." The Wicca replied thoughtfully.

"Willow takes pity on the dateless shut in and takes her out dancing." The brunette explained the arrangement.

"Willow doesn't see anyone in the box they put themselves in." She said intuitively.

"She's got a good heart." Heather nodded and a gentle smile spread over her face.

"She has." Tara agreed glancing over her shoulder at where Willow and Buffy were stood together at the bar

"So that's Heather?" Buffy glanced momentarily at the couch from her awkward position at the bar. She'd been standing next to the redhead in relative silence for the last few minutes and it had finally gotten to be too much.

"Yeah, with the dark." Buffy motioned to her hair. "And the matching eye thing going."

"Yes single." Willow seemed distracted for a moment as she watched Tara and Heather talking.

"Oh course." Willow reached down and held the key chain in her hand. "He's my new good luck charm."

"He'll bring you heaps." Buffy brightened. "Will…" She said taking a light breath. "I really am so sorry for everything."

"We're best friends and we should never be anything but that." Buffy breathed with a smile.

"Totally, especially with creepy unknown doing bad mojo." Willow smiled and nodded. "Need to be on our game, together." She added softly.

"You're bringing her chips, must be serious." Buffy motioned to the bags near the hacker.

"It's not...." Willow began to protest but stopped. "I still love Tara, I can't help it Buffy but I do. Wouldn't it be wrong to ask someone else out if I still love someone else?" She bit her lip looking up at her best friend.

"Mmmmm." Buffy felt put on the spot to say the least. "I think it depends." She took a shallow breath.

"Do you think you could maybe love her one day too?" Buffy put forward not sure if she'd gotten lost under the music.

"Love Heather?" Willow caught enough of Buffy's sentence. "I think I already do, you know, to an extent. Like, I love how she looks in her new running gear and its cool cause you can unsnap the poppers right up to her mid thigh." She grinned as her mind got the better of her. "Not that I have or anything." She blushed madly and took a breath. "And I worry about her a lot. About her and Hannah."

"That's the famous Willow trying not to act like she likes someone blush." Buffy bumped her hip lightly into the hacker's. Willow bumped it back and blushed more.

"She's cute, pretty, smart and available, of course I like her." Willow tried to down play it.

"Does she like you?" Buffy asked as they both now watched the pair chatting on the couch.

"I know you still love her Willow." Buffy leaned back against the bar her voice gentle.

"I know." Willow took a breath. "But she's yours now Buffy and come on, who better than your best friend to look after your girl, your ex-girl." She tried to make it upbeat.

"And as your best friend I think you should go over there and wow that stunning girl off her feet with your best Willow-isms." Buffy held onto the line the hacker had offered her.

"You might want to get your girl out of the way first." Willow didn't quite know how she managed to say the sentence as she picked up the chips.

"Very true." Buffy laughed picking up the drinks she had ordered. "Give me two and then enter with the chips."

"Okay." Willow nodded quickly and Buffy gave her a reassuring nod as she moved away towards the couch.

"Hey baby." Tara took it gently. "Sweetie I'm not sure you've met Heather, Heather, Buffy."

"No, it's nice to meet you though…" Buffy smiled at the brunette. "If you don't mind I think Willow is brining chips for you and I'm going to steal this gorgeous girl for a few moments." She offered her hand to the blonde with a smile and Tara took it instantly. "Enjoy the chips."

"I come bearing chips." Willow announced her arrival as she moved around to the front of their little zone and put the chips on the table.

"Then be deprived no more." The redhead grinned feeling completely silly but somehow not embarrassed.

"Thanks." Heather took one bag and opened it munching on a chip. "You and Buffy seemed to be getting along."

"Yeah, yeah we were." Willow nodded and smiled. "I'm sorry for leaving you, though I can't think that talking to Tara was too hard. Was it?" She tacked on slightly worried.

"Thanks for inviting me." Heather injected softly after a short period of silence.

"Well how could I turn down a fake date with a fabulous woman like you?" Heather leaned into the couch munching on her snack.

"Well I'm not fabulous or anything but I can crest that hill without collapsing now." Willow grinned proudly.

"She thought it was good I was going out." Heather put the chips down and sipped at her cranberry.

"Cool and it is, very good that you're out." Willow nodded her agreement. "Does it feel good?"

"You having a good time?" Heather hoped her voice didn't show her sudden nervousness.

"You're nervous." Heather both pointed it out and questioned the fact as she watched Willow's fidgeting.

"Well you know I don't wanna mess up, done that a lot recently and am enjoying the you an I being here together thing we have going and I'm all thinking you know, don't push Willow and then I answer myself with - push? Push what and then I don't know what to say cause it was me that brought it all up in my head to start with." Willow managed it all without talking a breath.

"It is?" Willow looked at Heather slightly confused, she wasn't even sure her rant had made sense to her.

"Don't you find them so distracting when they get in that sex fiend mode?" Buffy stepped up close behind Tara as Xander and Anya made a spectacle of themselves.

"It is, they're in love." Buffy spoke softly but the amusement showed in her voice. "Mostly just makes me want to do the same thing." She admitted.

"Not so much on the exhibitionism but on the showing I'm in love with you way." Buffy slipped her arms around Tara's waist.

"Well yes, you know I am all for that." Tara rested her hands on top of Buffy's.

"Were you feeling exhibitiony?" Buffy wasn't sure if it was a word but it sorta made sense.

"I think I can honestly say I never have, not because I'm against it just because, well you know, shy witch." She said gently in response.

"We could go to the back booth." Buffy suggested breathing lightly onto Tara's neck.

"You need to sit?" Tara asked gently trying to control a shiver that ran down her spine.

"I figured we could both sit and have a bit more privacy." Buffy whispered again.

"Oh, okay." Tara lowered her voice to a deep whisper. "Lead on." She slipped her hand into Buffy's.

Buffy grinned as they made there way to the furthest end of the club. She was thankful to see that the dark corner booth was empty. She slipped in first and pulled Tara in with her.

"See our own private section." Buffy whispered again looking over to the dance floor.

"Mmmmm nice" Tara slid in close. "So you're having an okay time?" She asked gently.

"Mmmmm getting better all the time." Buffy shifted sideways slightly resting her hand on the blonde's knee. "You having a nice night?"

"Yes," Tara nodded. "Its great to be out together as a group again with no one being you know, left out." She said softly stroking her fingertips over Buffy's hand.

"You seemed to be chatting up a storm with Heather." Buffy appraised her fingers massaging lightly into the Wicca's thigh.

"She's nice." Tara assessed letting her back arch naturally a move brought on by Buffy's gentle massage.

"I still think she's not fond of me." Buffy admitted as her hand trailed up a little and she leaned in kissing Tara's neck.

"When its all been explained a little." Tara breathed angling her head slightly to the right her eyes fluttering briefly closed.

"Mmmmm you smell so good." Buffy grinned and kissed up to the Wicca's ear sucking lightly.

"You do. What perfume is that?" Buffy questioned lavishing attention on the witch's skin.

"I'm not wearing perfume, its jasmine oil." Tara whispered back but it was almost more of a purr.

"So have you been an exhibitionist?" Tara whispered almost shocked at her own question.

"Not with anyone I loved before." Buffy admitted softly not even letting the memories of Spike flicker into her brain.

"But with me you might?" Tara quizzed a little more directly trying not to smirk.

"Love you or be an exhibitionist?" Buffy pulled back and saw the witch's expression. "Cause I know I already love you."

"Only if you wanted to be." Buffy was honest. "We can go home if you want." She suggested softly.

"I want…" Tara breathed. "To make the most of our evening." She smiled and inched closer.

"Is that a stay or go home vote?" Buffy smiled watching Tara in the very dim light.

"Its a do you really want me that much that you would ... here?" She asked almost timidly.

"Lucky me." Buffy kissed her a bit deeper before with a quick glance around. Seeing no one paying any attention to their area of the club she winked at the blonde and slipped under the table.

"Yes darling?" Buffy shifted comfortably onto her knees as she began undoing the long line of buttons up the Wicca's skirt.

"I hope they don't change and start playing quiet songs." She grinned down at the Slayer.

"They better start playing heavy metal." Buffy ran her hands up the outsides of Tara's thighs as she urged the blonde to slump down slightly as she kissed up one milky pale leg.

Tara moved slightly forward to the edge of the seat and leaned back a little resting more of her weight on her back.

Buffy grinned as her kisses reached the edge of baby blue cotton and a familiar heated fragrance reached her senses. Apparently she hadn't been the only one who'd been affected by the atmosphere. Still massaging her hands lightly into her lover's thighs she pressed more forward and kissed over the damp barrier.

Tara sighed rather loudly and then giggled unable to stop herself she whispered 'Sorry' to Buffy and gave her a bright smile.

"I do, I do." Buffy nodded as she pressed her tongue against the slightly lax cotton and applied a swirling pressure to the flesh behind. Above Tara blushed a little at her own boldness.

"Buffy are you sure we can do this?" Tara breathed heavily though her eyes were half closed in anticipated pleasure.

"Do you want me to stop?" Buffy questioned her hands now cupped around Tara's behind as she pressed in harder.

"I think we can." She slipped on hand around carefully pulling the crotch of Tara's panties aside and letting her tongue slip back inside.

"Now that is what I asked." Tara flexed her hips just slightly breathing out. "Mmmmm Buffy." She cooed softly as she placed her hand lightly onto the seat beside her gripping the edge gently.

Buffy gave up on talking as she made sure to catch the material around one finger while she used the other to spread the blonde's body more open so that her tongue could reach further.

"Darling, oohhh!" Tara breathed, her breathing becoming slightly more shallow and fast. She angled her hips slightly higher, fighting the urge to just lie back, close her eyes and relax totally into the feelings Buffy was causing.

Buffy grinned to herself as the soft sounds of her girlfriend's pleasure floated down to her under the sound of the band. She could hardly believe how amazing all of this felt. The vague adrenaline that knowing they were in a public place caused and the overwhelming arousal that making love to Tara caused in her body. For a moment she hesitated the movements of her mouth and tongue wanting to make sure that the blonde was completely happy with what they were doing. The more urgent round of moans that begged for her to continue urged her to dive in immediately, loving as always this feeling of love and intimacy.

Tara tried blowing cool air up into her hair to try and maintain at least a vague level of attention to the bustling club, though to be honest no one was paying the slightest attention to them. Everyone was busy chatting, dancing, making out or just being social with their friends oblivious to the pairs activities.

What the blonde witch couldn't get over was how good it all felt, yes there was the slight worry of being caught, but even that was only one thought that wandered through her mind in between the flashes of pure pleasure that were becoming brighter and far more frequent with the Slayer's ministrations.

Buffy, in contrast to her lover, was growing completely oblivious of the club around them and all of her senses were focused solely on Tara. The dingy smell of the Bronze had been pushed away by a sweeter one and it filled the Slayer's senses and pushed her on as she sucked down pulling hard flesh into her eager mouth.

"Mmmmm." Tara moaned softly and drew one of her legs back and pressed it against the back of the booth lifting herself slightly off the upholstered seat as her breathing became even quicker and sparkles danced at the corners of her eyes.

Buffy growled low in the back of her throat as she moved with her lover to keep her mouth in place while the blonde repositioned herself. Carefully she shifted one arm under the blonde giving her a bit of a boost upwards off the seat. Using the new leverage and access she licked faster as she slipped two fingers slowing into the awaiting wetness.

"Buffy." Tara hissed in pleasure as she felt the new level contact and moved slightly in her place to experience every ounce of pleasure that Buffy was offering. Within mere moments she felt the familiar warmth and flare of climax rushing through her, she gave a low moan and gripped the seat edge harder biting the edge of her lip in anticipation.

The Slayer continued her efforts increasing the speed of her fingers she vibrated her own moan through her lips into Tara's eager body. She could feel the tension in the muscles that ringed her fingers and she pressed slightly higher massaging her fingers and feeling waves of spasms start in return.

"Yes Buffy, yes." Tara moaned a little louder than she perhaps meant as she felt her orgasm break.

'Oh yes Tara, yes.' Buffy groaned back silently as she increased the speed of her movements feeling the leg that Tara had on the floor curl around her body pulling her closer.

"Oohhh." Tara groaned as Buffy moved to fill her desires her body moving attentively and passionately as her climax peaked and then slid onto a blissful plateau with Buffy working to bring everything Tara had out, leaving the Wicca satiated.

Panting slightly the blonde witch eased the muscles of her leg releasing Buffy a little.

Buffy pulled back slowly, carefully easing the blonde's twisted panties back into place and placed a soft loving kiss over the cotton before she pulled her body back in the cramped space to readjust Tara skirt.

"All clear?" She questioned softly making sure that her reappearance wouldn't be notice.

"Hi." Buffy emerged from the underside of the table to quickly take her place back beside the blonde in their booth. "Love you." She grinned from ear to ear like a Cheshire cat.

"Love you too." Tara reached up and pushed her hand through Buffy's slightly dampened hair before dropping a finger down to tap her lightly on her nose. "Are we going home now?" She asked softly.

"If you want too." Buffy kept grinning. "We can stay and dance and stuff if you wanted."

"You know dancing is only the vertical expression of a horizontal desire." Tara's lip turned up into a broad smile.

"Only a what?" Buffy's grin dimmed a bit as she thought about what Tara had just said and it soon dawned on her. "Oh." She smiled again. "Okay let's go."

"We should say goodnight." The blonde Wicca glanced up looking for Willow or Xander.

"I think that's them by the bar." Buffy pointed out as they slipped out of the booth, pausing for a moment as Tara fully straightened out her skirt before going over to them.

Willow pushed through another moldy tome realizing that even though she was chief in the research department her mind wasn't on the task. They'd had two weeks of relative quite on the bad mojo front and even with the down time they'd been unable to come up with any real concrete leads as to who had the books. Buffy had patrolled every night, paying special attention to the docks where Spike had once met the mystery man, but she'd found nothing.

None of that was the reason that Willow couldn't concentrate though that had to do with something or more accurately someone completely different.

"Maybe it's a Hanksfed Demon." Dawn's voice suddenly piped up and the dark haired teenager turned around the book she was flicking through so that Willow could see the bright colored photograph of the four-horned demon. "Though my question is who photographed this? Or do you think it's just a regular guy in a suit who thinks this is what one looks like?" She asked crinkling her small nose a little in inquiry.

"That's one of the Watcher books so I'm sure it's real." Willow forced her mind to the question and looked at the book and brief blurb next to the picture describing the creature. "Good guess but it doesn't have a tongue so there is no way it could read the incantations."

"Oh yeah, right." Dawn dropped the book onto the tabletop with a light huff. "You know I'm betting that this big bad, whatever it is has decided that too bad the books are sealed, can't do it, might as well leave and go on a nice vacation, pillaging small towns and things." The teenager suggested.

"Well I'm not so sure we should be enjoying the small town pillaging thing, but it would be really nice if for once someone just gave up after the first roadblock." Willow admitted putting down her own book. "Maybe we need a break. Do you want to get a drink?"

"Tara has me on a milkshake ban." Dawn gave a slight mock pout. "All because she made a great big flask of it, you know the blue pitcher we have, and I drank it all but told her I spilled it, so she made me another and I drank that to. I had such bad stomach ache that I had to tell her or she was going to take me to the hospital. She threatened to do it anyway after I told her, she said to get milkshake pumped out of me. She was joking." Dawn added with a grin.

"That's an insane amount of milkshake Dawnie." Willow shook her head as they got up and she slung her purse over her shoulder. "So how about we get you a nice freshly made smoothie, does that count as a milkshake?" They made their way out of the shop and onto the empty evening street.

"I don't think pulverized fruit is the same as ice-cream and milk frothed together." Dawn reasoned. "So it sounds cool."

"Great." Willow added looping her arm in the teenager's as they walked. "Heather showed me this great organic place off Davis that has about forty different kinds you can pick from."

"Cool, so Heather's like Tara all healthy and stuff?" Dawn asked with a slight grin.

"Very healthy." Willow nodded. "Very big with the running and eating lots of good stuff and taking vitamins. We do a five mile run every other morning now and I don't even need oxygen anymore by the end." She laughed lightly at the memory of her first days and the surprise she'd gotten when they'd reached the end of the path the other day and she hadn't even had to stop once. 'Oh course you especially enjoyed the hug you got in reward didn't you?' She reminded herself as she smiled lightly.

"You trying to get as fit as Buffy?" Dawn grinned watching the redhead's face carefully.

"I don't think your sister has to worry about competition but at least now I can get a good distance between me and the vamps so she can kill them easier." Willow laughed more.

"So…" Dawn paused. "What else have you done with Heather recently?" She dropped in casually.

"We've watched a couple of videos and saw the Mothman Prophecies." Willow answered without realizing how bad a job Dawn was doing at fishing for information. "It's weird by the way so proceed with caution." She squeezed the teenager's arm. "And running, a few extra credit lectures and such. Just hanging out."

"Dawnie!" Willow squeaked and pulled them too a halt. "Why would you ask me that?" She queried a bit shocked by the question.

"Why does Anya owe you five bucks? Are you all sitting around betting on me?" Willow frowned not sure if she liked the sound of this.

"Because we were in the magic shop the other day and Xander mentioned seeing you and Heather running and he commented that you had been seeing a lot of each other and Anya agreed and was going to say something else about what she thought you had been doing but Xander stopped her, I think because he remembered I was there and I said that you wouldn't have even kissed her without telling me or Buffy." The teenager explained.

"Heather and I are not in a kissing or 'other' relationship Dawn." Willow shook her head. "We're just good friends."

"Oh course I like her, she's a wonderful person." Willow put in immediately. "We have a lot of things in common and we run together."

"I meant more in the kissage department." The teenager admitted freely, wondering if Willow was being deliberately obtuse or just didn't want to talk about it.

"Oh… well…" Willow visibly floundered giving away the indecisiveness she had herself. "I don't know… well I mean yes… but it's too soon after Tara… I mean I know I have to move on but I don't know if Heather even… she's not really dated a lot." She tried to explain a lot of things without explaining as she pulled Dawn to start walking again and turned down the street towards the smoothie shop.

"If you don't know something isn't the best thing to do find out?" Dawn asked trying to sound genuinely childlike innocent. "I mean, if you don't know if Heather would like date you, isn't the asking her to the easiest way to find out the answer. It's not like we're going to find out by reading another moldy old watcher tome."

"I know, I know but I don't want to ask her and then freak her out." Willow pushed open the door to the shop and for a moment their conversation died away as they ordered and were presented with their large frothy fruity concoctions.

"I mean if I ask her and she's totally horrified by the idea I lose a friend, and if I ask her and she says yes and then I can't handle it cause of… well you know… then I'd feel horrible for hurting her. It's just either way I lose again." The hacker slumped a little swirling the straw through her drink as they settled onto stools by a small high table.

"Yeah but see I remember when you met Tara and you were all like unsure about asking her and everything, cause by the way it was so wicked obvious that you liked Tara from the first Wicca meeting on, but anyway, way back then you must have had to had made all these same decisions, you know about asking or not asking, and there was the whole Oz thing that could have blown up in your face at any time and you didn't let that stop you two getting together. And I don't think that there is anyone that is as shy as Tara, you know how Tara was, not how Tara is now." Dawn surmised.

"But Tara is Tara, that's part of the problem Dawn." Willow tried to explain things to the younger woman. "This is someone who is not Tara, I'm not sure I'm ready for that."

"I…" Dawn began but stopped as she looked across the table at her friend, she took a slight breath and then decided what she wanted to say. "Willow, Tara's happy right now, don't you think she'd want you to be happy to?"

"I know she wants me to be happy." Willow conceded easily. "I just… I don't want to mess up with Heather, she's been through a lot and I mean Scooby version of a lot."

"So being asked out by a girl's gonna be a walk in the park then. You know cause when you've been chased by huge man eating demons being asked out for dinner isn't so scary." Dawn grinned.

"Ha, Ha Dawnie." Willow couldn't help but smile. "Okay, so the vote is that I should just ask her out then?" She checked.

"Anya seems to think it would be good for your eyesight if you do." Dawn asked with a frown. "I'm not sure what she meant cause I just think it would be nice for you to have someone."

"My…" Willow blushed as she realized what Anya must have said to confuse the teenager. "Don't worry Dawn I'll be fine. So when should I ask her out oh big I have a boyfriend and am now relationship savvy girl?"

"Mmmmm, Friday nights are good." Dawn smiled knowing full well that today was Thursday. "Though don't go to the movies tomorrow night because Elliot and I will be there."

"Like I want to compete with you and Elliot." Willow teased. "And would Friday night suggestion have anything to do with the fact it's Thursday and I'd have to go over their now and ask her."

"Have you been planning this little lead up all afternoon?" Willow asked with a smile as she finished some of her drink.

"Would I?" Dawn batted long eyelashes in Willow's direction before reaching out and stealing the redhead's drink.

Willow took a deep breath and rubbed her hands down her tight blue jeans before walking with purpose up the front walk of the Glaive house. Dawn had been positively glowing with excitement by the time their smoothie and chat was over. So much so that when they had got back to the coffee shop and Tara had been there to take Dawn home, the redhead had made some feeble 'too much natural sugar' quip to excuse the teenager's dorky smile.

Before she knew it Willow was stood on the porch, her hand reaching up for the bell, which also before her mind had registered the requested, she pushed, sending the shrill alarm through the tall red brick house.

"Willow." Heather answered the door with a smile and ran her hand quickly through her slightly disheveled hair. "I was just sorting out the hall closet. Sorry about the mess." She opened the door fully and motioned the hacker inside.

"And here's me just thinking that cobwebs were this springs new accessory." Willow made a vague motion in the direction of Heathers shoulder where a short trial of dusting spiders silk clung to her navy sweater.

"I'm sure it's all the rage on the catwalks." Heather blushed and wiped at the mess on her sleeve. "Do you want a drink or anything?"

"No, in fact I can't stay long, group night and all." Willow explained with an almost uncomfortable shrug.

"Oh right. I'm surprised that Hannah has been down yet to remind me she needs a ride." Heather looked up at the grandfather clock at the far end of the hall. "Did you want a ride over with us?"

"No, thanks though, I like to get changed before group, you know I have sets of clothes, in clothes, out clothes, date clothes, group clothes." Willow gave a smile and instantly hoped it wasn't one of her more geekish ones.

"You're so cute." Heather laughed as she moved a box out of the way so they had a bit more room. "So if you're not here for my famous lemonade and you're not here for a ride, is something wrong?" Her mind went downhill suddenly and she gave a concerned frown.

"Wrong? No, no wrong, that is I am sure there is wrong, you know somewhere in the world, but not in Willow world, nothing wrong in Willow world." Willow babbled.

"Willow you're doing that many words little distance thing." Heather smiled again. "What is it? You look all flushed, are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah, look I just have to say this because if I just think about it while standing here and I'll probably leave without asking, so…" Willow took in a much needed breath. "Would you come out to dinner with me tomorrow evening?" She said in a breathed rush.

"Oh course, we could try that new Italian place that they were advertising in the faculty newsletter." Heather answered without missing a beat.

For a second the redhead seemed to relax but then she maintained her level of agitation, and if anything increased it a little.

"I did it didn't I?" She said with a deep frown. "Dawnie said I would, she said I would do it in that hey would you tie my shoe lace way, when I mean it in a would you button my coat way." The hacker flustered.

"Willow…" Heather moved closer feeling completely confused and put her hand up to test the hotness of the redhead's blushed cheek. "You want me to button your coat and not tie your shoe? I'm afraid I'm not quite understanding this particular Scooby lingo."

"No, no, I don't want you to do either, that is if you wanted to you could of course both would be nice if my shoe was undone, which it isn't, at least I don't think it is." Willow looked quickly down checking that her laces were fastened only to discover she had slip on shoes on. "Oh, slip ons." She pointed out stupidly.

"Willow, are you okay? You keep getting more and more flushed." Heather looked on concerned.

"Oh." Heather's eyes went wide for a moment. "Ohhh, button your coat not tie your shoe." She smiled softly and blushed a little though her color didn't even begin to compete with the hacker's. "Are you sure? I mean you know what a total social misfit I am." She hugged herself lightly.

"You let me stand on your doorstep talking about lacing up my slip on shoe and you think you're the misfit?" Willow smiled softly. "I am sure." She stated quietly knowing that Heather both want and most probably needed to have a straight answer. "Heather Glaive would you come to dinner with me tomorrow evening, as our first official date?" She stated clearly.

"Yes?" Willow checked. "You mean just yes, not you want to think about it, or that's nice of you to ask Willow but I just don't think of you in any other way than running partnership?"

"Yes, I would really like to go to dinner with you Willow Rosenberg and have it be our first official date." Heather whispered back with a soft smile.

"Great." Willow said succinctly. After a long silent pause that consisted of them both just staring at one another smiling, Willow glanced over her shoulder and pointed to the path. "I'll go then, group clothes to put on and all that." She grinned.

"Okay." Heather nodded. "What time should I expect you?" She called coming to herself when Willow took a few steps back down towards the gate.

"Oh yeah." The redhead stopped and turned back. "Hmmm seven, is seven a good time?" She offered.

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Safe In Her Arms

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