Love Lies Bleeding

Written By: starcrossed

RATING: NC-17 for sexual situations, graphic language, and dark themes
SPOILERS: None, really, unless you are unaware of the existence of Faith.
SUMMARY: Buffy and Faith play a twisted game.
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing, really I don’t. I only wish that I owned Faith. Sadly, though, both her and Buffy belong to Joss, Mutant Enemy, 20th Century Fox, et al. I only play with them in my stories.
DISTRIBUTION: Ask and it shall most likely be given. I rarely say ‘no.’
AUTHOR’S NOTE: I own no rights to the song, “Hemorrhage.” It is copyrighted by the band, Fuel. I merely borrowed the lyrics because I’ve always liked them. Lyrics are in italics.
DEDICATION: This one is for Nikita because her fics never fail to rock my world and because she’s just an awesome person.

memories are just where you laid them
drag the waters 'till the depths give up their dead
what did you expect to find?
was there something you left behind?
don't you remember anything I said when I said

don't fall away and leave me to myself
don't fall away and leave love bleeding
in my hands, in my hands again
leave love bleeding
in my hands, in my hands
love lies bleeding

I emerge from the tiny bathroom of my crappy motel room, freshly showered after a rough night of slaying. All I’m wearing is a tiny pair of cutoffs – Daisy Dukes they used to be called back in the day – and a tight, white tank top through which my nipples are clearly visible. I’m using a towel to squeeze excess water out of my damp hair when I notice that I’m not alone.

There is a petite blonde perched on the edge of my bed, hands folded in her lap like she’s some kind of fucking Madonna, or something. It never fails to amuse me how B can look so god damn innocent when she’s anything but. That’s something that I couldn’t get away with to save my life. Hell, I never could, not even as a kid.

“What do you want?” I ask, even though I already know the answer. It’s this game we play, see.

“Hello to you, too,” she sarcastically replies. “You know why I’m here… what I want… what I need…”

I toss the towel carelessly aside and move toward the bed and the blonde. Sure I know what she wants. The same thing she always wants. Only, she won’t come out and say it – not unless I make her. Told you that we play a game – a sick, twisted, fucked-up game – but who am I to complain?

As I reach the bed, I place one knee on the mattress next to her, and lean down to cup her chin in my hand. Whiskey colored eyes lock onto green tinged hazel ones as I ask, “What do you want, B?”

She shoots me a defiant look and tries to pull away from me.

I won’t let her, though. In a lightening swift move, I’ve got my other knee up on the bed and I tumble her backward, straddling her waist. Before she can launch a counterattack, I’ve got both of her slender wrists in one of my hands and I’m pinning her arms over her head.

“Say it,” I command. “All you have to do is say the words and what you want will be yours.”

She lies there beneath me for a moment, as if thinking up means of possible escape. I know that she won’t, though, and she knows it, too.

“I want you,” she says through clenched teeth.


I lean over, covering her body with mine, and bring my mouth to hers. The kiss I give her is surprisingly tender - the kind of kiss that most people wouldn’t think me capable of. And I’m not usually. I’m only like this with her.

As the kiss deepens, I release her hands, and she brings them up to entangle in my damp hair, pulling me closer to her. I swear sometimes that she wants to crawl inside my skin. Can’t say I blame her. I’d crawl inside hers if it were at all possible.

Next thing I know, she’s gained the upper hand, and is on top of me. Not quite sure how that happened, but then I don’t really care, either. It’s all good.

This time, it’s her leaning over me and bringing her mouth to mine. As her tongue enters, she brings a hand between our bodies, palming one of my breasts. I moan into her mouth. She sits up suddenly and I cry out at the loss of her warm, sweet, giving mouth.

I hear fabric rip and realize that she’s just torn my tank top in half and is pushing the two halves of the shredded garment aside in order to bare my breasts. God damn! Impatient much? And I liked that tank top, too!

Another few seconds, and I suddenly don’t care about my ruined shirt. She’s got one of my breasts in her talented mouth and the other in one of her hands. Tongue, teeth, and fingers all working my sensitive nipples, the sensation of which immediately makes me wet.

I reach for the bottom of her shirt and yank on it. She sits up long enough to pull the garment over her head and toss it aside, along with her bra. Stretching out on top of me, she brings her bare breasts to mine, and rubs against me. The friction caused by our naked skin rubbing together is simply too much.

“B, please,” I beg. My voice is much throatier than usual, but then it always is when I’m with her like this.

“What do you want? Say the words and it’s yours,” she says mockingly, repeating my earlier words to her.

“You… I want you… touching me…”

“Where, Faith? Where should I touch you? Where do you want me to touch you?”

“My pussy,” I cry out. “Please, B, touch my pussy.”

“Pussy, huh? Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?” She asks teasingly.

“Only you. I only kiss you with that mouth,” I answer.

“Well, I want to kiss you with my mouth,” she replies. “Only not on your mouth…”

Oh, God! She’s gonna go down on me. Please, let that be what she’s gonna do.

She slides down my body and moves off of me so that she can help me out of my shorts. I’m not wearing anything underneath, so I now lie before her totally naked. She disposes of the rest of her clothing before crawling up from the end of the bed, advancing toward me.

Then she’s between my legs, a hand on each of my thighs, pushing them apart. I willingly open them for her. Her mouth is hovering over my shaven mound. Using the fingers of one hand, she parts my folds, and then exhales through her mouth.

I gasp out loud as I feel her warm breath tickle my clit. Is she trying to kill me with pleasure? If so, she’s doing a damn fine job.

Her mouth is on me, now, and her lips close around my clit, drawing it into her mouth. She sucks on it and my hips arch up off the mattress to meet the exquisite pressure. I begin to move with her, fucking her face. How in God’s name could anyone ever think that this is a sin? If that’s true, then I’ll gladly go to Hell for it.

She slides a finger into my pussy and I’m gone. I’m crying out her name, along with a string of obscenities that would make a sailor blush. It’s always what I do when I come.

She releases my clit from her mouth, but continues to gently lap at it with the tip of her tongue, drawing out my orgasm. Finally, I reach the point where I can’t take anymore, and I push her head away. She lays it on one of my thighs and I stroke her hair with one hand.

“I want you to fuck me,” she says suddenly. Her words are muffled due to the fact that her face is buried against my leg, but I heard her.

“B…” I say.

don't fall away, and leave me to myself
don't fall away and leave love bleeding
in my hands, in my hands again
leave love bleeding
in my hands, in my hands
love lies bleeding

She sits up, but doesn’t face me. She is half-turned away from me as she repeats her request. She never can look at me when she asks me. “Fuck me, Faith.”

This is part of the sick, twisted, fucked-up game that I mentioned before. She comes to me. We make sweet love together, and then more often than not, she asks me to fuck her. It’s what she needs. It’s the only way she can deal with the fact that she cheats on her precious Angel every time she comes here.

At first, I didn’t mind. Now, though, I’m getting to where I don’t want to. It’s warped and I don’t want to be a part of that. I can’t deny her, though, never could. It would be easier for me to deny my lungs oxygen.

I sigh as I roll over to the edge of the bed and open the drawer to my nightstand. From it I extract a ten inch strap on dildo. I have no idea where B got the thing. I mean, I know, of course about sex shops and I also know that there are a couple of them in good ol’ Sunny D. What I can’t picture, though, is Little Miss Perfect walking into one of them and buying this fake monster cock.

“Up on your hands and knees, bitch,” I say to her in a harsh voice. It’s all part of the game, see? She needs me to do this to her. She needs me to dominate her in a humiliating way. Wonder if the Scooby Gang knows how fucked up she is? I’ll bet Angel doesn’t know.

She immediately complies, scooting around on top of the tangled bedspread until she is in the commanded position. I step into the harness and pull the leather straps up my legs. It takes a couple of minutes, but finally I have the dildo in place and the plug up against my clit.

It always takes me by surprise to look down and see this fake cock sticking out from between my legs. I ain’t really into all of that. Hell, if I wanted some deep dicking, I’d go out and find me a man. There’s plenty of them out there willing to spend time in my bed, believe me.

I like being in a relationship with another woman, though, really I do. I’ve always preferred girls over boys, ever since I was old enough to know the difference between the sexes. That ain’t to say that I haven’t had my fair share of men – any port in the storm, right? – but when given my druthers, I’ll take a woman to my bed any day.

Of course, you can’t exactly call what me and B have a ‘relationship,’ even though that’s what I want to have with her. A real relationship. One filled with love and laughter and sunshine and hand holding and walking in the rain. Nights filled with nothing but love making.

Don’t get me wrong. There’s love alright. I love her with every fiber of my being. Always have. Even before I ever actually met her, I think. See, I knew all about B long before I ever showed up in Sunny D. She’s all that my old Watcher ever used to talk about. So, how could I help but fall in love with someone who seemed so perfect?

Deep down inside of her, I think she loves me, too. At least, that’s what I tell myself. Sure, I know that Angel is the big love of her life, but she has to love me, too, right?

“Faith?” She asks in a slightly exasperated voice. It’s then that I realize that I’ve been standing there with one knee braced on the bed while my mind wandered.

“Did anyone say that you could talk, whore?” I ask, slipping into the role that she needs me to play.

I climb up behind her in the bed and slap her creamy ass cheeks a couple of times. To her credit, she doesn’t cry out, but simply takes it.

Grasping hold of her hips none too gently, I pull her back toward me, and position the head of the dildo at the entrance of her pussy. She’s so wet that I can see the accumulated moisture on the insides of her thighs. Without warning, I push forward in one hard, fast thrust, burying all ten inches inside her tight channel. She whimpers ever so slightly, but that’s it.

I stay still for a moment, allowing her walls to stretch. Sure, I might be playing the roll of a dominatrix, but I don’t want to hurt her, not really, even though I know that it’s what she wants.

She’s having none of my attempted gentleness, though. Bracing herself on her elbows, she pushes back towards me. “Fuck me, Faith. Fuck me good and hard!”

Biting down on my lower lip, I begin to thrust inside of her. God damn! Her tightness never fails to amaze me. It’s a wonder how she can take what I’m doing to her.

“Harder!” She commands as she pushes her ass against me for all she’s worth. “I need it hard!”

I slip back into the role I’m expected to play. “Why, bitch? Why do you need a hard, fast fucking?”

“Because,” she says.

I thrust once, twice, three times, hard and punishing. Raising one hand, I bring it down on her raised ass.

“I asked you WHY!” That last word is accentuated by two more slaps to her cheeks.

She doesn’t say a word, so I rain a series of blows over her ass as I continue to thrust deep inside of her. “Do you hear me, you fucking little cunt rag? Why do I need to fuck you like this?”

I can feel my heart bleed as I speak those horrible words to her. I don’t want this. I don’t want it at all. This will be the last time we play this game. I can’t do this to her anymore. I don’t care how badly she thinks she needs it.

When she answers, her voice is filled with unshed tears. “Because… because I’m bad… I need this because I’m bad.”

I reach around to the front of her body and violently pinch each of her nipples. There are tears forming in the corners of my eyes. I let them roll down my face and watch as they land on her back.

“Why are you bad, you little slut?” I give each of her nipples another hard twist. Her breathing is labored and I can tell that she’s on the edge of climax. It’s sick that this kind of treatment gets her off more than when I make love to her.

“I’m bad because I have a boyfriend that I love, but I come here and let you fuck me!” She practically screams this sentence and I feel my heart crack just a bit.

Knowing it’s what she needs, I remove my hand from her breasts and bring it between her legs. I quickly find her hard little clit and rub it with the tip of one finger. As I do this, I thrust in and out, in and out, as quickly as I can.

“C’mon, bitch. You’re such a bad little girl. Come for me. You know you want to come all over my cock and my hand.” Never again I vow to myself. This is the last time.

She throws her head back and howls. I kid you not. She fucking howls just like Oz does when it’s a full moon. I ain’t ever heard her howl before. Jesus, this is twisted!

The walls of her pussy start spasmodically clenching my fake cock and she’s creaming all over my hand. She still has enough presence of mind left, however, to thrust back against me as hard as she can. This causes the plug of the dildo to push against my clit and I begin to come with her.

As her violent shudders begin to subside into small tremors, I pull out of her. Rolling over, I stand up and take the dildo off, tossing it aside. She has collapsed onto her stomach and her face is buried in one of my pillows. I can hear the unmistakable sound of her sobs. She always cries when it’s over.

Usually, I take off for the shower partly because I can’t stand to hear her cry and partly because I don’t want her to see my own tears. Yeah, I cry afterward, too. I ain’t such a hard bitch like everyone likes to think that I am. This shit kills me.

This time, though, I climb into the bed next to her and reach for her. I pull her to me and she doesn’t resist. We each lay on our sides, facing each other, tears rolling down both of our faces.

oh hold me now I feel contagious
am I the only place that you've left to go
she cries her life is like
some movie black and white
dead actors faking lines
over and over and over again she cries

“Why are you crying?” She asks as she reaches out to wipe away one of my tears.

“I can’t do this to you anymore, B. I won’t. If you want to come here and make love, that’s fine. If you want us to use the dildo on each other in a loving fashion, that’s fine, too. But, I won’t fuck you with it anymore.”

“But, I need it,” she says softly.

“No, you don’t,” I reply. “You only think you do.”

“It’s the only way that I can live with myself,” she tries to explain. “Cause of what my being with you means.”

“What does it mean, B? Tell me. Cause I’d really like to know.”

“Every time I’m with you, I’m cheating on Angel.”

“So, my brutally fucking you with a fake dick makes that better? What kind of sick logic is that?”

She gets up and starts picking up her discarded clothes.

“Nice, B. Leave when the going gets tough. Like that’s gonna solve anything.”

She doesn’t say anything. I’m presented with her back as she pulls her clothes on. Her hand is on the doorknob, but she pauses, as if waiting for me to stop her.

“If you leave, B, don’t come back. I mean it. Don’t come back here and expect me to play your fucked up game.”

The door opens and she’s gone.

and I wanted
you turned away
you don't remember, but I do
you never even tried

I lay there amid tangled sheets in a room that smells like sex.

She’ll be back. I know she will. She can’t NOT come back. I’m the one who has what she needs.

And I’ll do what she wants me to. I’ll give her what she craves. Because I can’t not give it to her.

Even though it kills me.

Even though my heart breaks and bleeds every time.

I think that soon, it will just permanently hemorrhage.

don't fall away and leave me to myself
don't fall away and leave love bleeding
in my hands, in my hands again
leave love bleeding
in my hands, in my hands
love lies bleeding

The End

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