Arms of An Angel

Written By: starcrossed

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing but my original story idea. The show, “Angel,” and all of it’s characters belong to Joss, Mutant Enemy, 20th Century Fox, Lazy Dave Productions, et al.
RATING: A very hard ‘R’ for mild sexual situations and remembered abuse.
SPOILERS: None to speak of, really.
SUMMARY: A sequel to my fic, “Kissed By An Angel.”
DISTRIBUTION: THC, anyone else has but to ask and it shall be given.
DEDICATION: For Chris and Zadi – a girl couldn’t have two better friends or “cheerleaders.”

The couple lay in peaceful slumber with their twin dark heads sharing the same pillow. The woman was spooned up against the man and he had his arms wrapped around her. They appeared to be two lovers sharing a blissful rest after making love. Appearances can be deceiving, however.

While it was true that Angel was enjoying the sleep of the sated, Faith was actually being haunted by images from her past. Upon closer inspection, one could easily see that the beautiful girl’s body was twitching and she was emitting soft cries. Normally, the movement and the noise, however slight, would have been enough to awaken the man next to her. On this night, though, Angel was lost in his own dream world, only his were far more pleasant than the ones being visited upon Faith.

“Ya worthless, no good, rotten little bastard! I shoulda aborted ya the minute I found out I was pregnant. Don’t know now what I was thinkin’ by bringin’ ya into this world! Ya’ve been nothin’ but trouble to me from the moment you were born.”

“Mamma, please, don’t say such mean things,” a ten-year-old Faith pleaded with the woman. “I’ll try harder. I’ll do better, I swear!”

The sound of Faith’s face being slapped by her mother echoed throughout the dingy little apartment they lived in. The girl reeled slightly from the blow, but managed not to lose her footing. From past experience, she knew that she didn’t dare reach up to caress her stinging face. Such a gesture would only make things worse. She didn’t cry, either, as she once might have. The sight of tears only seemed to incite her mother more.

“Liar! Nothin’ but lies come out of your mouth, Faith!” Jackie Winters took a healthy swig from the whiskey bottle clutched in one hand. “Go to your room! I can’t stand to see your ugly face another minute!”

Before she could make it down the hall to her room, the empty whiskey bottle was thrown against the wall, mere inches from her head. Her mother grabbed hold of her hair and forced her down to her knees on the floor.

“Clean up that god damn mess before I decide to take a belt to your lazy ass!”

Faith snuggled up closer to the man holding her. Angel’s arm instinctively tightened around her, as if he somehow knew that she needed comfort. She whimpered softly as her mind continued to hold her hostage with horrific memories of her childhood. Her brain fast-forwarded itself to a few years later, and Faith was now a teenager.

“Oh, god!” Fourteen-year-old Faith exclaimed as she heard a key in the lock. She jumped up from the couch where she’d been sitting with Brian, a friend from school. Faith didn’t have many friends and she certainly never brought them home. He’d been insistent, though, and she’d finally given in. Now, one of her worst nightmares was about to come true, for her mother was walking through the front door.

“Well, lookie here!” A very drunk Jackie loudly replied. “Did I interrupt somethin’?”

Faith reached for Brian’s hand and tugged him up off of the couch. She grabbed his jacket and backpack, practically shoving the items into his hands. “You need to go NOW!” She whispered, praying that he’d leave before things got truly ugly.

“Was my girl lettin’ ya sample her wares?” Jackie took a heavy seat in the shabby recliner. “Shoulda known she was already spreadin’ her legs! Damn worthless tramp!”

“Brian is just a friend, mamma, and he’s leaving now.” She pushed the young man in the direction of the door. “I’ll see you at school tomorrow.” Her eyes silently pleaded with him to leave.

He stood in the open doorway, warily eyeing the obviously drunken woman who sat only a few feet away. Locking his eyes onto Faith’s, he softly asked, “Are you sure?”

She nodded vigorously. “Yes, just please go. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

Sending a prayer of thanks heavenward as Brian finally started walking away, Faith shut the door behind her and turned to face her mother.

“Is he yer first?” Jackie’s words were a bit slurred from all the alcohol she’d recently consumed.

“No,” Faith honestly replied. “He’s only a friend, mamma, and for your information, I haven’t slept with anyone yet.”

“Yeah, I’ll bet! Why should I believe ya, Faith? Everyone knows yer a liar. Yer prolly a whore, too.”

“Believe what you want. I’m going to my room.”

For someone who drank as much as Jackie did, she sprang up out of the chair with amazing deftness. Reaching out, she latched onto Faith’s arm and squeezed, causing the girl to wince in pain.

“Since when do ya talk to me like that? I’m yer mother, remember? I demand a little respect.”

Faith merely nodded, desperately wanting to avoid a confrontation.

“So, ya claim yer still a virgin, huh? Whatcha holdin’ out for? Prince Charming? Ya think if ya save yerself, some rich, good lookin’, handsome man is gonna come along, snatch ya up, and take ya away from all of this?”

Faith knew better than to answer, even though plenty of stinging retorts were going through her head. Instead, she focused on not crying from the pain in her arm.

“Let me tell ya somethin’, little girl. That ain’t never gonna happen? Ya know why? Cause yer trash, Faith, just like me! There’s only one thing any man is ever gonna want ya fer, and once they get it, ya won’t see ‘em no more, believe me, I know. Any man worth anything ain’t never gonna look twice at ya, so ya oughta just get down off of yer moral high horse and give up that cherry yer holdin’ onto.”

Faith sat bolt upright in bed and bit her lip to keep from crying out. She panicked for a few moments until her eyes adjusted to the semi-darkness of the room and she realized where she was.

“It’s okay,” she whispered to herself. “You were only dreaming, it was only a dream.” It might have been a dream, but it was one borne of long buried memories and of things she’d tried so desperately to forget.

As she came to her senses, she realized that her body was covered in cold sweat and her heart was racing as if it were going to burst. She glanced over at the man who still lay sleeping next to her. God, he was beautiful. Faith knew that men weren’t supposed to be “beautiful,” but Angel truly was, both inside and out.

As she sat there watching him, her mother’s harsh words echoed in her head.

“Any man worth anything ain’t never gonna look twice at ya…”

“You’re wrong, mamma! You always were wrong, about so many things. Angel is a good man, and he’s mine, and he loves me!”

Leaning over, Faith slowly pulled the sheet away from her lover’s body. Even in sleep, his cock was half-erect, and that brought a smile to her face. Moving carefully, so as not to disturb him, she straddled his waist. Gently grabbing hold of his shaft, she began slowly moving her hand up and down its length, making him fully hard.

He began to stir slightly and she froze for a moment, watching him. He didn’t wake up, but instead muttered something that she couldn’t quite make out. Raising up on her knees, she guided him inside of her, and lowered her body until her warmth was fully engulfing him. Bracing her hands on his chest, she began to ride him hard and fast.

Angel was awakened by the most pleasant of sensations. Something soft, wet, and incredibly warm was surrounding his cock. Opening his eyes, he was greeted by the sight of Faith, straddling him and moving up and down, her breasts bobbing in rhythm with her hurried movements.

He smiled at her as he brought his hands to her waist. She was moving just a little to fast for his tastes. “Hey,” he said softly, “slow down, baby. We have the rest of our lives, you know…” He recalled the promise she’d extracted from him the night before, the one about never leaving her.

It was as if she didn’t hear him, though, and in fact, wasn’t even aware that he was now awake. She seemed lost in her own little world. As he studied her, he could tell that her eyes were slightly glazed and had an almost dazed, far off look in them.

“Faith, wherever you’re at, why don’t you come back to me, sweets?”

She didn’t reply, but instead thrust her hips toward him in an almost violent movement while her inner muscles began to squeeze him almost painfully.

“See, mamma, I do have what it takes to attract a good man to me! Angel is almost as good as they come and he’s MINE! And you know what else, mamma? He LOVES me!”

Angel could tell that she wasn’t speaking to him and for a moment, he was almost frightened by her behavior. They had made such sweet, tender love only a few hours before, and she’d contentedly fallen asleep in his arms. What in the world had happened to her since then?

“Faith,” he called out, but she was lost to him. He arched upward, suddenly, in an attempt to buck her off, but she clung to him much like a rider on a bull. Grasping hold of her hips, he lifted her up and off of him, setting her next to him on the mattress.

Before he had a chance to sit up, however, she was out of the bed and standing next to it. There was a wild look in her eyes as they darted around the room. She took in her surroundings almost as if she didn’t know where she was.

Angel was up and at her side in an instant. He drew her into his arms and kissed the top of her head. “Faith, it’s me, Angel. Tell me what’s going on, sweetheart, please?”

She wrenched herself from his embrace and quickly gathered up her discarded tee shirt and panties. As she yanked the items of clothing on, he tried reaching for her again.

Faith brought a hand up to stop him. “Just back off, Angel, okay? I don’t want to have to hurt you…”

“Hurt me? What the hell is going on here, Faith?”

“Nothing,” she lied. “I just… I need to go to my room. You’d be wise not to follow me.”

Angel opened his mouth to protest, but she was already halfway out the bedroom door. She turned and warned him once more. “I mean it, Angel. Stay away from me.”

As he watched her leave, Angel took a heavy seat on the edge of his bed. He cradled his head in his hands and ran careless fingers through his hair. *What the hell had just happened?* It was obvious to him that Faith had gone someplace, mentally speaking, where he couldn’t reach her.

Angel wanted so badly to help her, but he didn’t know how. He wanted to go after her, take her into his arms and comfort her, but she had definitely been emitting some serious ‘don’t touch me vibes’ when she’d practically fled his room.

The phone on his nightstand began to ring and he leaned over to answer it. “Yeah,” he replied to whomever was on the other end.

“Angel, its Wesley. I think you’d better come downstairs. Cordelia had a vision last night, but she insists that you join us before she’ll tell us what she saw.”

“Wesley? What are all of you doing here at this hour?”

The other man clearly sounded confused by Angel’s reply. “Early? Whatever do you mean, Angel? It’s almost 9 in the morning.”

A quick glance at his alarm clock confirmed that Wesley was speaking the truth about the time. “Oh, sorry,” he muttered into the receiver. “With those heavy curtains on my bedroom windows, it’s always dark in my room.”

“Yes, well, no matter,” the British gentleman answered. “Are you coming down?”

“Sure, give me a few minutes to shower and dress, okay? I’m just waking up…”

“Very well. Shall I call up to Faith’s room? I don’t believe she’s come downstairs yet this morning.”

“No, let’s leave her be,” Angel hedged. “You know what a night owl she is… she might still be asleep and you know how cranky she gets if you wake her up. I’ll be downstairs in about ten or fifteen minutes, okay?”

“We’ll wait for you, Angel.” The click on the other end signified the end of the phone call.

Angel hung up the receiver and headed for his bathroom. He smelled like sex and also like Faith. There was no way in hell he was going downstairs without a quick shower first. No need for everyone to know that they had been intimate.

Five minutes later, he emerged from the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. The unexpected sight of Cordelia perched on the edge of his bed almost caused him to jump.

“Cordy, what in the hell? I told Wes I’d be right down!”

She pursed her lips as she fixed her gaze on him. “Yes, I *know* what you told him, but I figured what I had to tell you might be best kept private. She looked over her shoulder at the rumpled bed sheets. “Do you have something you want to tell me, Angel?” Her voice was laced with disappointment and just the slightest bit of apprehension. It was then that he noticed that she had a stake firmly clutched in one hand and a large cross was hanging from her neck.

“Cordy, it’s not what you think…”

“Oh, so you *didn’t* dance the horizontal hula with Faith last night?”

“No… yes… wait, how did *you* know?”

She sighed dramatically. “I’m vision girl, remember? I *saw* the two of you, along with some other pretty horrific stuff from Faith’s childhood.” The beautiful seer shuddered visibly as she recalled some of the things she’d seen.

“Well, I’m not evil, if that’s what you think, so you can put those things away.” He pointed to the cross and the stake.

“How do I know you aren’t lying?” She asked warily.

“I’m not lying, Cordelia, I promise. My soul is fixed. If you don’t believe me, pick up the phone and call Lorne over at Caritas.”

“The Host told you that you couldn’t lose your soul anymore? But how, when, I mean how?”

Angel glanced down at the towel he was wearing. “Umm, do you mind if I get dressed first? Then we can talk all you want.”

She blushed ever so slightly, as if realizing for the first time that he wasn’t dressed. “Sure, clothes would be a good thing.”

He grabbed a pair of slacks and a sweater from his closet and disappeared inside the bathroom, closing the door behind him. When he came out a few minutes later, he was dressed, and his wet hair was combed.

Taking a seat in a chair that stood opposite his bed, he replied, “Now tell me what you saw in this vision of yours, other than me and Faith having sex.”

Cordelia drew her legs up under her on the mattress and propped one elbow on one knee. She rested her chin in her hand and closed her eyes for a moment. Both the stake and the cross now lay next to her on the bed.

“It was horrible, Angel. It was like a home movie of Faith’s entire life and it wasn’t pretty, believe me.”

The ensouled vampire had always suspected that the dark haired Slayer’s childhood had been less than rosy. She never talked about it, though, and he wasn’t one to push. Suddenly, he was taken back to the mansion in Sunnydale.

“Mind if I skip past the ‘mom never loved me part’?”

“Something about this feels so right… must be one of those unhappy childhood things…”

“When I was a kid, I used to beg my mom for a dog – didn’t matter what kind, I just wanted something to love.”

“A dog is all I wanted, well that and toys, but mom was too busy enjoying the ‘drinking and passing out parts of life,’ so I never got what I wanted.”

“Angel! Are you even *listening* to me?” Cordelia’s voice brought him back into the present.

He shook his head. “Yeah, I’m here. I was just remembering something…”

“Faith’s mother was an alcoholic, Angel. She abused Faith both physically and verbally. She never showed her even one ounce of love. I can’t even begin to imagine what it must have been like for poor Faith to grow up like that.”

“But why would the powers show you scenes from Faith’s past?”

“Hey,” Cordy replied just a bit defensively. “I don’t ask for these visions, believe me! No matter what the powers choose to show me, though, they usually have a reason for it.”

“I’m guessing that maybe I’m supposed to help her? But how can I do that, Cordy, when she won’t even talk to me?”

“Okay, now you’re losing me,” Cordelia told him. “You two seemed pretty cozy in my vision last night. What happened? What did you do, Angel?”

“Now it’s my turn to say, ‘hey’!” He exclaimed. “I didn’t *do* anything to her, Cordelia, I swear. I mean, yeah, I did *that* to her, but it was completely consensual. Afterward, we went to sleep all snuggled up together. I woke up this morning to find her on top of me.”

“And that was a bad thing because…”

“It wasn’t like that. There was nothing sexy or loving about what Faith was doing to me when I woke up. She seemed totally out of it, and if I’m not mistaken, she was talking to her mother.”

Cordelia wrinkled her nose. “Can I just take a moment to say ‘eww’? Who in their right mind talks to their mother during sex?”

“That’s just it, Cordy. I don’t think Faith *was* in her ‘right mind,’ as you put it. There was definitely something off about her.” As he spoke, he couldn’t help but remember the vacant look in Faith’s eyes as she’d been straddling him.

“I tried to get her to stop, but it was like she couldn’t hear me,” he continued. “Finally, I had to grab hold of her and physically remove her from me. She freaked out right after that. She told me not to touch her and she went to her room.”

“Angel, I think I might know what’s going on with her…”

“Care to fill me in?”

“In my extended ‘scenes from the life of Faith’ vision, I kept hearing her mother tell her over and over how she was useless and no good. This one time, when Faith was a teenager, her mom told her that she didn’t have what it took to attract a “good” man to her, much less keep him.”

Angel nodded. Things were starting to make sense now. Evidently, Cordelia hadn’t been the only one visited by the ghost of Faith’s past last night. Faith must have had dreams about her childhood and that is what had set her off and made her act the way she had a little while ago.

He got up from his chair and went over to the bed. Reaching for Cordelia’s hands, he pulled her up off the mattress. Angel took her into his arms and gave her a warm hug.

“I’m sorry that you had a vision about Faith’s past. Seems like it was pretty terrible.”

Cordy returned his hug, wrapping her arms around his waist for a moment. “You don’t know the half of it,” she replied. “I don’t think I’m ever going to be able to forget some of the things I saw and heard. Her mother was just awful. People like that don’t deserve kids.”

Angel pulled back a bit and glanced down into the face of his seer. He placed a brief, gentle kiss on her forehead. “You’re right, people like that don’t deserve to be parents. Unfortunately, that doesn’t stop them from having kids.”

“I think I’m going to go downstairs and call my mom and dad. They might not have been the parents of the year, but after what I saw last night, they look pretty good.”

“Can I ask a favor?” Angel released her from his embrace, but held on to one of her hands.

“Sure, anything, you know that.” She smiled at him.

“Let’s keep what you told me between the two of us, okay? No need for the rest of the gang to know. It’s Faith’s place to tell them, if she wants to.”

“No problem,” she assured him. “Are you going to go talk to her, Angel?”

He sighed. “Yeah, I think I probably ought to…”

“Want me to come along for back up?”

“No, that’s okay.” He wasn’t even sure if Faith was going to let him into her room.

Cordelia turned on her heel to leave, but paused for a moment, and looked over her shoulder at him. “Are you in love with her, Angel?”

“Honestly, Cordy? I don’t know. I don’t think I am, but I will admit to feeling something for her…”

“Just be careful, all right? I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

They both knew that she wasn’t referring to physical pain. “I promise,” he smiled softly at her.

She left after that and he took a moment to put on his shoes. Taking a deep breath, he braced himself for what was about to happen. It was a short walk down the hall to Faith’s room. Standing in front of her door, he hesitated a moment before raising one hand and knocking.

He waited a moment, keening his ear for a reply from the other side. When none was forthcoming, he knocked again, a bit heavier, but there was still no response.

His hand on the knob, he called out, “Faith, it’s me, Angel. I’m coming in…”

Angel opened the door slowly and cautiously; certain that any minute, he was going to find it slammed in his face. He made it all the way into the room, though, without a physical confrontation of any kind. Her bedroom was dark, but his vampiric eyes adjusted quickly enough. A quick glance told him that she wasn’t there.

He was about to turn around and leave when he noticed that her bathroom door was shut. The sound of the shower running was coming from the other side. He made his way over there, and once again, knocked on a closed door.

There was no answer from the bathroom, so he tried the knob, and found it unlocked. Once more, he announced his presence. “Faith, its Angel...”

A great gush of steam rushed out to meet him. Upon entering the room, he noticed that the bathroom mirror was completely fogged up, telling him that she had been in there for quite awhile.

“Faith?” There was no answer.

“Faith, this isn’t funny. Answer me, please.” He was beginning to get truly worried.

“Go away,” she weakly replied from inside the shower.

He crossed the few steps from the doorway to the bathtub and yanked the plastic curtain back to reveal a naked, wet Faith huddled up in one corner of the tub. She was holding a sharp razor blade loosely in one hand and a thin trickle of blood was running down one arm from a small cut on her wrist.

Angel leaned over and shut the taps off, then reached for her, gathering her up into his arms. He quickly removed the razor blade from her hand and placed it on the back of the toilet. Grabbing a hand towel off of the shelf behind him, he wrapped it around her wrist. He used another larger towel to cover her shivering body the best he could before scooping her up into his arms.

Amazingly enough, she didn’t resist, and in fact, made no effort whatsoever to fight him. Instead, she laid her head on his chest and wrapped one arm loosely around his neck. He carried her quite effortlessly into the bedroom and laid her gently on the mattress. Snagging a quilt off the back of a chair, he covered her with it before lying down next to her and laying an arm across her.

They lay like that for quite awhile before Angel finally spoke, breaking the silence that had ensued.

“So, do you want to tell me about it?” He asked softly.

She shook her head. “I can’t, Angel. There are things that you don’t know about me… things from my past… a lot of bad things.”

“It’s okay, Faith, I know all about your mother and the terrible things she did to you.”

Surprise was quite evident in her voice. “H-How do you know? I never told you…”

“Cordelia, she had a vision last night about you and your mother and your childhood. She came to me this morning after you left and told me what she’d seen.”

“Oh, great! Now the princess is going to go blabbing my life story to the whole gang!” She started to sit up, but Angel pulled her back down and wrapped his arms tightly around her.

“Shh, it’s okay, Faith. Cordelia isn’t the same spoiled, selfish, self-absorbed girl that she was back in Sunnydale. She’s changed a lot. The two of you could probably even be friends, if only you’d give her a chance.”

“Now, do you want to tell me why I found you in the shower with a sharp object and a bleeding wrist?” His voice was gentle, yet stern.

“She was there, Angel, in the bathroom with me.” Her voice was tinged with fear and she began to shiver slightly in his embrace.

“Who was there, sweetheart? What happened?”

“My mom, she was here, I swear. I went to take a shower after I left you, and my mom was in the bathroom. She was taunting me and saying the most horrible things to me.”

“Faith, I hardly think your mother was here, baby…”

She looked up at him with wide eyes. “You’re probably right. It was my imagination playing tricks on me, but it seemed *so* real, Angel! She’s the one that told me to do it… kill myself. I didn’t want to, but she kept pushing me, telling me that I’d be doing the world a favor.”

Angel rolled onto his side and pulled Faith up against him, holding her tight. He could only begin to imagine what her mother must have put her through as a child. The physical scars might have healed, but it was quite evident that Faith had been left with a lot of emotional and psychological trauma.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart. No child should have to go through what you did.”

“I couldn’t do it, though, Angel. I couldn’t kill myself. Do you know what kept me from slicing my wrists open?”

He shook his head. “No, what?”

Faith turned to face him and reached a hand out to softly caress his cheek. “You, you are what kept me from offing myself. I kept remembering last night and how good it felt and how right. No one has ever made me feel what you did last night, Angel. I knew that if I killed myself, I’d never get to feel it again.”

He leaned forward just a bit and placed a soft kiss on her trembling lips. “So, was I a “guardian angel,” then?”

“Umm-hmm, you saved me. The thought of never being in your arms again stopped me from killing myself.”

“My arms are yours anytime you need them, Faith. That goes for the rest of me, too.”

She nodded and tried to stifle a yawn. “Can we go to sleep now? I suddenly feel so tired…”

“We need to talk, baby…”

“I promise that we will, but later, okay? Right now, I just want to fall asleep in these big, strong arms of yours.”

Angel could tell that she was struggling to stay awake. “All right, but I’m holding you to that promise.” He knew from experience that her personal demons were far from being gone.

“Umm-hmm,” she sleepily replied as she snuggled closer to him. “Angel?”

“Yeah?” He was starting to drift off a bit himself.

“Will you be here when I wake up?”

“You can count on it. Now, go to sleep. Your “angel” is here and you’re safe in my arms.”

The End

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