The Key Unlocking a Broken Heart

by Wispr

Copyright (c) 2011

wispr@woh.rr.com

Rating: R
Disclaimer: Buffy The Vampire Slayer belongs to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and 20th Century Fox. No infringement of these copyrights is intended. All original characters are the property of Wispr. The song titles and lyrics are owned by their respective bands and no profit is made from them.
Distribution: FanFiction.Net: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/558797/Wispr
Rebelrsr's Fanfiction Archive: http://rebelrsr.com/
SlayAlive: http://slayalive.com/
If you are interested in posting my story on your site, please contact me first for permission...Thanks!
The Mystic Muse:  http://mysticmuse.net
Spoilers: This story can be considered AU after the end of Season 7 of Buffy.
Feedback: Yes please! wispr@woh.rr.com
Author's Note: This is written in honor of the 3rd International Day of Femslash. Also a huge thanks goes out to Rebelrsr for the awesome editing. This story is something of a backburner story, so updates are going to be far and in between.
Pairing: Willow/Dawn
Summary: After Willow's relationship with Kennedy ends in heartache and tragedy, can a new lover convince her to give love a second chance?


Chapter 1    Chapter 2


CHAPTER 1

Dawn stood nervously in the doorway as she silently watched the person within typing on the computer's keyboard. Using all of her past eavesdropping skills, Dawn made sure to stay out of sight. She attempted to slow her thundering pulse and let her gaze wander over the person who, after numerous sleepless nights of soul searching, Dawn had finally admitted she had fallen in love with.

Willow.

The sunlight shining through the large picture window looking out over the English countryside caused the red hues in Willow's hair to shimmer as she gently bobbed her head to the unheard music playing from the headphones that were plugged into her computer. Dawn trailed her eyes down Willow's graceful neck to her broad and toned shoulders and arms, partially hidden by her light summer dress.

Frowning, Dawn let her sight drift farther down Willow's body to the reason for her new upper body physique. To the wheelchair Willow would most likely sit in for the rest of her life. A parting gift from Willow's former girlfriend Kennedy.

After the fall of Sunnydale, everyone had spread across the world to locate all the Slayer's Willow had Called. Everyone, that is, aside from Dawn and Giles. They had gone to England to begin rebuilding the Council. Well, Giles handled the rebuilding while Dawn crammed to finish her final year of high school thanks to some tutors that Giles had hired. But Dawn did help in whatever way she could once her homework was done. Like making sure the new dormitories being built for the Slayers had enough bathrooms. Remembering the fights over the bathroom at the house with the Potentials had left a lasting impression on Dawn.

Willow and Kennedy went to Brazil, and everything seemed fine. Gradually, over the following months, everyone began to lose touch with Willow. Kennedy answered the phone--when it was answered at all--and it was Kennedy who made all of the very few phone calls out.

Unfortunately, with the gang running themselves ragged recreating the Council and gathering the Slayers, no red flags were raised.

It wasn't until later, when Giles had received a frantic call from the one of the Brazilian Slayers, that the grim truth came out. Willow was in the hospital in critical condition and Kennedy had been the one to put her there.

The doctors were amazed Willow had lived, considering the intensity of her injuries from brutal beating she had received. The list had been hideously extensive. Aside from the internal bleeding, Willow also suffered a horrific amount of broken bones, a crushed knee joint, a fractured skull, and two smashed vertebrae in her lower back. The latter two injuries were the most agonizing for Willow. The fracture to the back of her skull had put Willow in a coma for two months and, after she woke from it, the doctors discovered she had suffered some form of brain damage. Willow, one of the most powerful Witches in the world, now could barely levitate a pencil.

The two smashed vertebrae...T11 and T12 thoracic vertebrae, to be exact...were utterly smashed. It had apparently happened when Willow had been pushed with Slayer strength against a hardwood table. The blow from the table's edge had shattered the bone; the force had caused slivers to slice their way through Willow's spinal cord and into the organs beyond. This had left Willow paralyzed from the waist down.

By all rights, Willow should have died. Thanks to all of the magic she had absorbed when Tara had been killed, however, she didn't. The doctors had been amazed by how fast most of Willow injuries were healing. Luckily, the new Council had been able to transfer Willow to a more private hospital with staff that knew when to keep quiet.

Kennedy had disappeared, but not before emptying her and Willow's bank account and grabbing one of several magical amulets Willow had made that hid the wearer from magical scrying. Since Willow had made them, the amulets were too powerful for any of the other Council Witches. And now that Willow couldn't do magic...Well, Kennedy got away clean.

Everyone had girded themselves for some kind of backlash from Kennedy, most thought she would sell them out, she did know quite a bit about the Council workings. But so far after all of this time nothing had happen, leading everyone to the conclusion Kennedy was gonna stay low and not do anything to attract their attention.

The only negative thing to come of this last part was that it left Willow with a fear of going out beyond the Councils grounds. Though Willow had gotten better over time, to the point of enjoying herself when away from home, she still carried and slight air of weariness with her when outside.

When the doctors had later explained about all of the rehabilitation Willow would have to undergo, Dawn surprised everyone by stepping forward, offering to help Willow. While Willow had been in coma, Dawn, firmly believing Willow would wake up one day, had done a little research into what her recovery would be like.

Remembering how Willow and Tara had taken care of her after Buffy had died, Dawn wanted to return that favor. Dawn had felt she knew what to expect, and this was Willow, after all. She had known her for years. How bad could it be?

Dawn's first inkling that she might have miscalculated came when the doctor asked Willow if it was OK for Dawn to help. Willow had been completely indifferent, not caring one way or the other. Since she hadn't said no, Dawn began helping the registered nurse assigned to Willow and trying to be there for Willow as a friend.

The months that followed forced Dawn to grow up. Looking back now, Dawn knew that, even after reading about the psychological reactions patients such as Willow normally suffered as they came to terms with their altered life style, she had woefully been unprepared for the reality of experiencing it firsthand.

One of the nurses had given her a piece of advice that Dawn took to heart: the best thing she could do was simply be there for Willow.

And that was what she did. She stood by through Willow's mercurial mood swings, raging one moment and then crying the next, to the first time Willow had laughed after the incident.

Then one day, while staring at a painting on the wall, Willow had quietly started talking about what had happened in Brazil between her and Kennedy. Dawn simply sat beside Willow, holding her hand and listening as she told about the abuse had been verbal at first. How it slowly escalated to include physical abuse. It had came to Dawn that while the Devon Coven had treated Willow for her magic addiction, nothing had been done for the great guilt she carried for the terrible things she had done to both Tara and the others. Not to mention the whole attempting to end the world thing.

This had created the perfect victim for someone like Kennedy, and it explained Kennedy's aggressive pursuit of a still very much grieving Willow.

Willow had explained to Dawn how she used glamours to hide the bruises and cuts. Willow could have easily defended herself with her witchcraft, but she had felt the abuse was her punishment for her past deeds and did nothing to stop it.

It wasn't until Willow overheard several of the younger Slayers warning a new arrival that she better put out if Kennedy asked. The reason the young girl gave? Willow would take away the Slayer powers of anyone who refused Kennedy.

Sick with horror, Willow had went to confronted Kennedy and put a stop to what was being done to the younger Slayers. Willow admitted she couldn't remember anything after that until she had awakened in the hospital two months later from her coma.

Once Willow had finished her story, she broke down. Dawn had simply held her weeping friend as she cried herself to sleep.

After that, Willow's mood swings lessened. Slowly, like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon, Willow's old bubbly personality reasserted itself; though, Dawn could see Willow wasn't as open with people as she used to be. She often kept newcomers at a distance.

By the time Willow's rehabilitation came to an end, the two of them had become nearly inseparable. Willow and Dawn lived in the large manner house Giles had chosen as the new Council headquarters. He had made sure the new building, in fact all Council holdings, were made wheelchair accessible. Willow had no problems moving around the mansion or the suite of rooms set aside for her.

Though her injuries had left Willow paralyzed from the waist down, she was fully capable of living independently, only needing help with some of the more strenuous household cleaning. Since the manner house came with a domestic staff that was one worry already taken care of.

Together, Dawn and Willow had thrown themselves into getting the Council's library reorganized, using a more efficient and modern cataloging system. Willow also oversaw the installation of a computer networking system; she had mischievously admitted to Dawn that she was getting a perverse pleasure in dragging some of the Council old timers into the twenty-first century.

When it came time for college, it had taken all of Dawn's persuasive powers...and a large dose of plain old stubbornness...to convince Giles and Willow to allow her to attend a nearby college part time.

Willow had even chosen to continue her own education with a few courses, some of which had overlapped with Dawn's, making them natural study buddies.

Dawn hadn't really thought about all the time she spent with Willow until she accidently heard one of the Watchers-in-Training remark that she and Willow acted like an old, married couple.

At first, Dawn had laughed the comment off. The following day, however, it lingered in the back of her mind, distracting her. Finally fed up with the whole deal, she sat down and took a close look at why she was so bothered.

It had come as a shock to Dawn to find that the comment actually wasn't bothering her; the truth was that she liked the idea. She liked spending time with Willow. Willow was charming and fun to be with. Dawn enjoyed the long talks they had; she liked how Willow treated her as an adult, unlike most of the other Scoobies.

The proverbial straw that broke the camel's back had been when Dawn realized she hadn't been out on one date since Willow's attack. Dawn had simply been too focused on Willow to even think or want to date while helping Willow with her rehabilitation. Not to mention being both physically and emotionally exhausted during that time.

Dawn also realized the few times she had been asked out, she had turned them all down because they paled in comparison to Willow. In all of the cases, Dawn had found them lacking in some way, be it personality, intelligence, or looks. It was the latter category that really made Dawn come to accept that she had fallen for Willow. She truly did find Willow beautiful and attractive.

Once Dawn had admitted her feelings for Willow to herself, she worked up the courage to tell Willow how she felt. She decided Valentine's Day would be the perfect time. It was still several weeks away, and Dawn threw herself into picking the perfect gift.

She found it in a quaint antique shop, and, remembering some of the stuff that had happened in Sunnydale, Dawn had one of the Witches from the Devon Coven check it for curses. Just to be on the safe side.

Now that it was time to give it to Willow, Dawn found her heart up in her throat and her palms wet with sweat. Mentally girding herself, Dawn knocked on the open door, hitting it hard enough for Willow to hear over the music coming from her headphones.

Willow looked up in surprise, but the startled look was quickly replaced with one of happiness. Giving Dawn a bright smile, Willow said, "Hey, Dawn, give me a sec and I'm all yours."

Dawn leaned again the door jamb, watching Willow finish whatever she had been doing in a furious display of rapid-fire typing. Once done, Willow exited out of the program and put the computer in standby. Taking the headphones off, she gestured to a small table with a silver tea set resting on it. "Want a cup?"

"Chamomile, please," Dawn replied as she made her way to one of the several plush chairs that the room boasted. After sitting down, Dawn sat the small carryall on the floor beside the chair.

"Uh, oh, sounds like this isn't just a social call," Willow jokingly said while making the requested tea.

"Why you say that?" Dawn asked nervously. She winced at the shrillness of her voice. Her reaction garnered an intense look from Willow.

With two steaming tea cups on a silver tray resting on her lap, Willow rolled her chair over to Dawn. After giving Dawn her tea and setting the tray on another small table, Willow settled back with her own drink. "OK, I'm guessing that it might involve what day it is?" Willow took a sip from her cup.

Instead of answering right away, Dawn attempted to take a sip of her own drink. After almost spilling her drink, thanks to badly shaking hands, Dawn gave up and set the tea down. "Yeah, you can definitely say that."

Dawn's visible display of nerves caused Willow to raise her eyebrows in surprise. "I see. So what's the problem? I'm guessing there is one, or you would be out on a date already."

"Well, I kind of haven't told them yet." Dawn nervously ran her hand along the top of her pants leg.

"This sounds like there's a bit more than just liking going on," Willow said seriously; though, there was a hint of a smile on her lips.

Dawn couldn't fight of a blush. "Yeah," she replied quietly. "I rea-really believe I'm in love."

Willow's eyebrows went back up as her green eyes widened. "Whoa. OK, that's big." Dawn watched as Willow took a sip of her tea and looked thoughtful. Dawn bet she was trying to figure out who it was...and Dawn really doubted Willow would guess correctly.

Setting her cup on its saucer, Willow cleared her throat. "I take it this person only sees you as a friend." Her eyes grew alarmed. "There's friendship right? You haven't, like, suddenly fallen for them? Or, you know...they haven't bought a new football jersey?"

Dawn couldn't help bursting into a fit of giggles. Soon the two of them were laughing like mad women. After a while, Dawn calmed enough to answer Willow's question. "No...no to the jersey and yes to the friendship. We've been friends for a while now, and it just kind of..." Dawn smirked at Willow. "Pardon the pun, but it just kind of dawned on me how I really feel about them."

"O-K," Willow replied slowly as her eyes darted off to the side. Deep in thought, a few moments passed before Willow swung her gaze back to Dawn. "You're afraid of ruining the friendship then? Or being turn down? Or both?"

Giving Willow a sad smile, Dawn admitted, "A little of both, maybe. Though I firmly believe our friendship is strong enough not to be broken, I don't know if it would cast a shadow over it."

Willow gave her a smile of understanding. "But now knowing how you feel about them, you can't not say anything, can you?"

"Yeah, I even went and got a really nifty Valentine gift for them and made dinner reservations," Dawn replied with a blush.

"Oh, a gift! What did you get?" Willow asked eagerly.

Bending down, Dawn retrieved a small wooden case from the carryall by the chair; the case was small enough that it fit comfortably in the palm of Dawn's hand. The lid was intricately carved with flowering tulips, their petals stained red while the surrounding wood, plus the case itself, was a rich, lustrous ebony.

"Ohhh," Willow cooed in wonder. She reached for the case then paused, looking questioningly at Dawn. Only after receiving a nod did Willow gently take the case from Dawn's hands.

"It's gorgeous." Willow lightly traced the tulips with her finger tip, making sure not to scratch the finish with her nail.

"Open it," Dawn said quietly, chest felt tight from her growing apprehension.

Without looking up, Willow did as ordered, breath rushing out in an exclamation of wonder as she peered inside. "Oh, Goddess, Dawn, these are beautiful."

Dawn smiled at Willow's description, for nestled inside on black velvet were two necklaces. Though the chains themselves were pure gold, what hung from them wasn't. The pendants had been made of red gold, or rose gold.

The first pendant was a small, magnificently crafted tulip; each petal was formed from red garnet crystals, the stem ending in a series of notches and ridges.

The second pendant a heart, slightly larger than an American quarter, seemingly made of tightly-fitted curved segments. In its center was a hole which, on closer inspection, one could tell was designed for the tip of the tulip stem to fit through.

Leaning closer, Dawn said, "The tradition behind them is that when a boy wants to court a girl, he presents her with this set on Valentine's Day. If she accepts his advances, the girl puts the necklace with the heart on and allows the boy to unlock it with his necklace, which is the key." Again, Dawn couldn't hold back a smirk. "I know, it has very phallic connotations. Anyway, turning the key clockwise to three o'clock causes the heart to unfold into a tulip that is the same shape as the key tulip. Afterward, the two wear the necklaces openly to show that, although they aren't engaged, they are officially and exclusively dating one another. You can tell they are together because no two sets of the pendants is ever the same."

"That sounds so lovely," Willow said reverently. Quirking an eyebrow, Willow asked, "What happens if you turn the key to a different spot?"

"Well, if the couple does fall in love and become engaged, the girl lets the boy reinsert the key and turn it clockwise all the way to six o'clock. That causes the tip of the key to break off inside, locking the heart open. The open rose symbolizing her welcoming him into her heart forever." Dawn grimaced as she continued. "If...if things don't work out, the key is inserted and turned counterclockwise, closing the heart and also breaking the tip off. In a way, the girl is saying that her heart is forever close to him."

"That's really deep," Willow said solemnly. Visibly shaking her head, Willow looked up at Dawn with a smile. "I can't help noticing the roles reversal here; although, I think it's kind of appropriate that you're the one to carry the key."

Dawn laughed softly at Willow's jab at her keyness; she'd long ago had accepted what she was and now could joke about it with the few that knew of her unique origins. Dawn then took a deep breath in a vain attempt to calm her nerves. "Actually, there will be role reversal--but not the way you're thinking."

Seeing Willow blink in puzzlement, Dawn took pity on her. "I'll be wearing the key, like you thought. But it won't be a boy with the heart. It will, I hope, be a girl. A woman."

Dawn could tell when Willow finally figured out what she meant. If she hadn't been so nervous, she might have laughed at the expression of complete astonishment on Willow's face.

Jerking upright in her wheelchair, Willow pointed a trembling finger at Dawn. "It's a girl! I mean you like a girl! Since when do you like girls and does she like girls, too?"

"Yes, just recently, and a definite yes," Dawn answered, smiling at Willow's outburst. "I also made dinner reservations at Griffith's." She was referring to a family-owned diner in a nearby village. They served simple and yet very delicious meals, and the diner had a very homey feel to it. It was also one of the few places that was wheelchair accessible.

"Oh, I haven't been there for a while." Willow opened her mouth, presumably to ask more questions, but Dawn beat her to it.

"Would you then honor me by being my guest at dinner tonight?" Dawn asked, her voice shaking with nervousness.

Giving her a puzzled look, Willow gestured with the hand holding the jewel case. "But what about..." Willow froze.

Dawn watched with bated breath as the realization spread across Willow's face.

"Me?" Willow whispered, her face pale in shock.

"Yes," Dawn breathlessly replied, the mounting tension making her pulse thunder in her ears.

"I..." Willow paused and gripped the wooden case with both hands. "Dawn, I do love you, but I'm not in love with you." Dawn felt a crushing despair descend on her at Willow's confession, but the following words gave her a small grain of hope. "It's not that I don't greatly enjoy the time we spend together, or that I don't think you're beautiful. I mean..." Dawn watched as a blush spread across Willow's cheeks. "I'll admit I find you...ahh...attractive. But I really never gave it more than a thought because you' re straight, or at least I thought you were." Willow trailed off, sounding and looking flustered.

Dawn reached across the space separating them and laid her hands over Willow's where they gripped the wooden case. In as firm a voice as she could manage, she said, "Willow, I'm not asking for words of undying love. I know this isn't some romance movie. All I'm asking is that you give it a chance, give us a chance. We'll take things slow and easy." Dawn took a deep breath, trying to calm her stomach. Fear and anxiety over what she was about to say made it churn. "Willow, I want you to know if you don't want to take the chance, I'll understand. I really do believe our friendship is strong enough to weather this and..."

"Yes."

Dawn stumbled to a halt at Willow declaration. "Yes? As in yes, you do, or yes, you don't?"

Willow eyes were teary. "Yes, as in yes, I do want to go out with you." Removing her hands from under Dawn's, Willow twisted the case so the contents faced Dawn. In a soft, bashful voice, she asked, "Would you do the honors?"

Face nearly split in two by her wide smile, Dawn rose to her feet after removing the heart locket and chain from the box. Moving to the back of Willow's chair she waited till Willow had moved her hair out of the way before securing the gold necklace around Willow's slender neck.

Then it was Dawn's turn. She simply crouched down beside Willow's chair with her long hair held out of the way. The feel of Willow's fingers brushing her skin caused a wave of goose bumps to rise across her skin.

"Now I guess it's time for you to unlock my heart," Willow said softly.

Dawn stood to face Willow, blinking back tears. She noticed Willow's eyes were equally wet. Dawn reached up and grasped the key pendant as Willow mirrored her movements.

It was at this point they made a discovery.

The necklaces were on the short side.

"This is going to be fun." Willow chortled as she bent her head and peered nearly cross-eyed at the heart-shaped locket resting on the edge of her fingers.

After seeing how close...intimate, really...they would have to be for her to unlock Willow's locket, Dawn stammered. "I-I swear I didn't know how short they were. I'll just take thi..."

"Huh-huh. We'll do it like they we're supposed to," Willow said with one hell of a mischievous smile on her face.

"OK." Gesturing with her hands in a vague manner, she mumbled, "How do you want to do this?"

"Sit down, but not all the way back," Willow said, nodding at the chair Dawn had been sitting in.

Immediately understanding, Dawn sat part way back and spread her knees. Willow wheeled forward so that her knees slipped in between Dawn's, gently brushing the edge of the seat cushion. Once again, they clasped their individual pendants and leaned toward one another.

Being so close to Willow played havoc with Dawn's nerves, making her think lustful thoughts. Judging by the heated look on Willow's face, she was feeling the same way. Taking the tulip pendant with her thumb and forefinger, while holding Willow's hand steady with her free hand, Dawn carefully inserted the pendant's tip into the keyhole of Willow's heart locket.

They both held still as Dawn slowly turned the tulip key to the three o'clock position before returning the key to its original position and withdrawing it.

Still leaning close, Dawn continued to hold Willow's hand, as they quietly watched the heart locket. For a moment, Dawn feared the locket wasn't going to open. Finally, though, the faint sound of tiny gears turning came to her ears and the heart locket bloomed.

Gracefully, the rose gold sections unfolded, spinning and twisting so that previously unseen sections inlaid with red garnets like the individual petals of Dawn's tulip necklace were revealed. With a soft click, the petals locked themselves into place to form a blooming tulip with the keyhole in its center.

"Oh, Dawny, it's absolutely gorgeous!" Willow's voice was choked with emotion.

"Well, then, it will complement you," Dawn couldn't help quipping.

Dawn was amazed to see that her remark caused Willow to look down bashfully. Feeling very happy with how things had gone, Dawn reluctantly let go of Willow with the intent of straightening up in her chair. Willow surprised her, though, by quickly reaching out with one hand to grasp Dawn by the back of her neck, pulling her in for a quick, light kiss on her lips.

Willow released Dawn and wheel her chair back, leaving behind a thoroughly stunned...though very happy...Dawn. Smirking slightly, Willow asked, "What time are the reservations for?"

Dawn blinked several times as she tried to get her bearings. She licked her lips and tasted the fruity flavor of Willow's lip gloss. Finally feeling more herself, Dawn glanced down at her watch. "We need to leave no later than three to make it there on time."

Willow glanced at her own watch. "Good, that means I have time to freshen up and change." Turning her chair so it faced slightly away with the handles toward Dawn, Willow looked over her shoulder and asked, "Mind driving me to my room? I wanna hear the story on this awesome Valentine's gift."

"My pleasure." Dawn stood, proud to be one of the very few people Willow trusted to push her. Grasping the handles firmly, Dawn pushed Willow, her own strides smooth and even from long practice. "I guess you could say it all started when I heard one of the Watchers-to-be saying..."


CHAPTER 2: A Voice From The Past...

Willow slowly wheeled herself down the long halls of the manor house that acted as both the new Council headquarters and a home for many of Slayers and Watchers. Willow was grateful no one passed her in the hallway; her eyes were still puffy and from red crying. Oddly, enough her tears hadn't been from pain, but were, instead, tears of release and Willow's soul felt lighter than it had in years. Especially since...since Tara's death.

In the past three months, Willow and Dawn had been dating. As Dawn had promised, though, they were taking things slowly. Willow was grateful for Dawn's patience. Surprisingly enough, their dating had remained a secret. It shouldn't really be all that surprising that people haven't noticed, Willow realized. She and Dawn normally spent a lot of time together, and they were trying to be discrete about their changed relationship.

At the beginning, they both felt that if the knowledge that they were seeing each another got out, it would attract some rather unwanted attention. Dawn worried about coming out of the closet as it were. She wasn't ashamed of being bisexual, but she still feared how others would react to the news. Dawn felt Giles and Xander would be OK with it after picking their jaws off the floor (or broken glasses in Giles case); it had more to do with Buffy's reaction. Willow understood. Even though Buffy had stop constantly trying to smother Dawn by being overly protective, she still had a tendency to go overboard at times.

Willow also felt a leery over how Buffy would react to her little sister dating Willow. She had to admit the age difference between her and Dawn was slightly disconcerting. It didn't help either that Willow remembered helping Dawn with her Junior High homework.

Finally, both of them wanted a little semblance of privacy. With all of the Junior Slayers and the slowly growing number of Watchers at the manor, there were eyes and ears everywhere. Dawn and Willow didn't want to be the bread and butter of their gossip, and, most importantly, they feared there would be pressure from the others to speed things up.

Over the past three months, Willow's feelings for Dawn moved beyond love of a friend to something much more intimate. To put it bluntly, Willow fell in love with Dawn. She hadn't felt like this since...since Tara, and it had taken Willow by surprise. She hadn't believed she could fully trust someone again, even someone as close to her as Dawn. Now Willow did, though, and it felt wonderful. It also made Willow feel terribly guilty. And that guilt was beginning to build a wall between them.

A wall Dawn had noticed.

At first, Willow didn't understand where the guilt came from Willow knew Tara would want her to move on, to find happiness again. Willow didn't feel as if she was betraying Tara's memory in the least. Not this time, anyway. Hooking up with Kennedy...It had taken a lot of counseling for Willow to accept she had been a victim and to forgive herself for succumbing to Kennedy's manipulations.

But until the previous night, Willow hadn't understood her guilt over Dawn. The revelation had woken her in the middle of the night--and had kept her awake. Thanks to the way Will had resurrected Buffy, she had learned something that most everyone else took on faith alone: there was an afterlife, a Summerland or Heaven. And Willow knew Tara was there, waiting for the day Willow would join her, thanks to several talks the two of them had about dying. For Willow, even knowing Tara would want her to find love again, being with Dawn felt like cheating.

Willow had stayed up the rest of the night, fiercely contemplating what her revelation meant for her relationship with Dawn. By the time the first rays of sunlight broke over the horizon, she had come to the conclusion that it would be kinder to call things off with Dawn. It would be terribly unfair for Dawn to be with someone who couldn't completely invest themselves into a relationship. For Willow knew a part of her would be waiting for the day she could be with Tara again. Between that and her guilt, Willow refused to put Dawn through that. But she couldn't make the decision for both of them; Willow had learned that particular lesson the hard way. Willow planned to sit down with Dawn and talk. Perhaps together they might find a way to overcome this physiological obstacle. She had to be honest with Dawn about her feelings and fears. It was yet another lesson Willow had learn from the past--and one she found hard to follow.

Once Willow had finally decided on a course of action, she had been mentally exhausted from the long night without sleep and the heavy thinking she done. To offset that, she'd meditated for a bit in the manor's conservatory. The rich smell of the soil and plants, plus the tranquil atmosphere, made it the ideal spot for her daily meditations. There, focused inward, Willow had had a visitor from the past, and visitor that gave Willow new hope for her future with Dawn.

Turning the final corner to Dawn's suite of rooms, Willow paused and took a deep breath before rolling up to Dawn's door and knocking. It didn't take long for Dawn to answer, and she immediately noticed Willow had been crying.

"Willow, what's wrong?" Dawn bent down to brush her fingers across Willow's cheek.

Even being in plain view of anyone passing by, Willow couldn't help leaning into Dawn's touch, going as far as capturing Dawn's hand and planting a light kiss on her palm. Looking up, Willow gave a now thoroughly bewildered Dawn a small but happy smile. "Nothing...actually, everything is alright." Seeing the tension Dawn had been displaying lately seep from her body made Willow all the more grateful for this morning's visitor. Giving Dawn's hand one more light squeeze before letting it go, Willow said, "I have something wonderful to share with you, Dawnie."

Blinking in puzzlement, though returning Willow's smile, Dawn said, "OK." She stepped aside so Willow could wheel herself through the door, which Dawn shut firmly behind them, much to Willow's gratitude. What she had to say was very private and personal.

Rolling up to the couch, Willow transferred herself from her wheelchair to the couch. The couch's design allowed Willow to comfortably prop herself up in one of its two corners. By the time she was finished Dawn had sat down cross-legged near Willow. Willow reached over to take both of Dawn's hands in hers. "First, I want to say this isn't the it's not gonna work kind of talk. I...I admit I had planned to a talk with you this morning about the possibility of things not working out." Glimpsing Dawn's shock and the expression of pain on her face, Willow hurried to clarify. "I'm sorry, Dawn. I'm saying this all wrong. I was going to talk to you about some personal problems of mine that made me fear for us...but I got them all resolved this morning...OK? I'm guessing you kind of noticed I haven't been exactly all there when it comes to us. Well..." Willow had to glance away for a moment, finding it hard to say what had to be said. "I've been feeling guilty lately but didn't know why."

"Guilty? For what?" Dawn asked in concern.

Willow blushed a little. "For - for falling in love again." Glancing up, it warmed her heart seeing the weariness in Dawn's eye washed away by pure joy.

"Really?" Dawn whispered shyly.

"Yeah, really." Willow met Dawn's eyes with her own.

"But why would that make you feel guilty, Willow?" Dawn asked her voice now filled more with confusion rather than the concern it had born earlier.

"Tara." It didn't surprise Willow when Dawn appeared to understand. "I... I know Tara would want me to move on, not forget her but to find happiness again."

Dawn simply nodded her head in acknowledgement.

"And I thought I could, but the closer I came to falling in love with you the worse I felt. I didn't understand why until last night. It's because I felt like I was cheating on her." Willow saw Dawn's brows scrunch in thought. "Because I know Tara is in the Summerland waiting for me."

Dawn's eyes filled with tears. "I - I don't know what to say," she whispered in a trembling voice.

"Yeah." Tears threatened for Willow again, too. Even after all the crying Willow had done this morning, her emotions were still very near the surface. "I didn't know what to do, even knowing in my heart Tara would want me to be happy. I couldn't shake the feeling I was cheating on her. I decided to talk to you about the guilt to see if we could find a way to make things work. But I was a nervous wreck so I decided to meditate first." Willow wiped away the tears with her shirt sleeve. She wanted Dawn to have an unobstructed view of her eyes so hopefully she would see the truth in them.

Peering deeply into Dawn's eyes, Willow said, "I had someone come to me as I meditated."

"Who?" Dawn spoke softly, her voice full of fear.

"Tara," Willow responded just as softly.

"Tar..." Dawn choked on the name. She stared at Willow, her expression a mix of trepidation and awe.

Willow understood the awe; she still felt it herself. And she had a good idea why Dawn was afraid. "It wasn't the First, Dawnie. It really was Tara. I felt her presence in here," she said, gesturing at her chest with their still-joined hands, "while meditating. I knew it was her, and when she spoke to me I could hear her words and feel her emotions. It was..." Willow trailed off as she bowed her head for a moment; she truly couldn't put her emotions into words.

"Wow." When Willow looked back up, Dawn asked, "What...what did she have to say?"

Willow's lips quivered. The message was good and it had helped to soothe her grief, but Willow missed Tara. "Tara she wanted me to know she's at peace in the arms of the Goddess, and she is waiting for me. Actually, both of us, Dawn." Willow gave Dawn's hands a slight squeeze as she look at her girlfriend earnestly. "Dawn, Tara's happy for us. She told me to tell you she can't think of anyone else to entrust my heart to."

Tears slid down Dawn's cheeks, showing how moved the younger woman was by Tara's comments. Choking back a sob, she said, "Tara gave us her blessing, didn't she?"

"Yeah, she did, Dawnie," Willow whispered, acknowledging the gift Tara had given her, given them both.

Hesitantly, Dawn asked, "Did...Tara have anything else to say?"

The question took Willow by surprise. How had Dawn known? Tara had said more, very personal remarks, and Willow struggled to answer. She didn't want to hide anything from Dawn. "Umm...yeah, she did...she said..."

Dawn removed one hand from Willow's and covered Willow's lips with two fingers. "If it was something private, just tell me. I'm not jealous in the least."

Willow briefly closed her eyes and nodded her head in reply to Dawn's statement. When Dawn's fingers moved from her lips, Willow said, "Thank you." Working up her courage, she approached the next topic. "Dawn, you know I love you, that I'm in love with you. But I have to admit a - a big part of me will always..." Willow once again trailed off, at a loss of words. She wanted to be honest but feared she would say it all wrong and end up hurting Dawn's feelings.

"Willow." Dawn lifted Willow's head up with a finger. "I knew from the very beginning there would be a part of your heart I would never be able to touch. I know that part belongs forever and completely to Tara." She smiled slightly. "The love you and Tara had...have...is something magical and unique, and I wouldn't have it any other way." Her shyness returned and Dawn ducked her head. "It makes what we have all the more special, that there's enough room in your heart for me, too. I know that probably sounds arrogant, but that's how I feel."

Willow was blown away--she fell even more in love with Dawn. "Oh, Dawnie, thank you so very much." Willow pulled Dawn's head down. Just before their lips touched, she whispered, "I love you, Dawn Summers."

"I love you, too, Willow Rosenberg," Dawn replied.

And they kissed.

Later...

Dawn lay on her side and watched the gentle rise and fall of Willow's chest as the red head slept. There was an expression of utter peace on Willow's face that Dawn hadn't seen in years. After their talk and a much needed round of makeup smoochies, lack of sleep had quickly caught up with them. Willow had, after all, been up all night, and Dawn hadn't been sleeping well the past few nights. Dawn offer the use of her bed so Willow wouldn't have to make the trip back to her own room. When Dawn made it clear she would take her own nap on the couch, Willow had shyly said she wouldn't mind sharing the bed with Dawn.

The offer had deeply moved Dawn, and she had readily agreed. That's how she found herself with one arm partially tucked under Willow's head and the pillow and her other hand lying on Willow's stomach loosely. Dawn watched Willow and marveled again at the gift Tara had given them and the Love it must have taken for her to deliver such tidings. Dawn hadn't been lying earlier. What Willow and Tara shared was something both magical, and Dawn didn't feel cheated in the least by it. No...she felt honored and touched that, thanks to Tara, Willow could open her heart.

Feeling sleep stealing over her, Dawn whispered a silent prayer of gratitude. "Thanks, Tara. Don't worry; I'll take good care of her."

As she drifted off, Dawn heard Tara's voice dance softly through her mind. "No...thank you. Love you, Dawnie."

To Be Continued...

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