The Key to Trusting

by Wispr

Copyright 2011

wispr@woh.rr.com

Rating: R
Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer belongs to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and 20th Century Fox. No infringement of these copyrights is intended. All original characters are the property of Wispr.
Distribution: FanFicton.Net: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/558797/Wispr
Rebelrsr's Fanfiction: http://rebelrsr.com/
The Mystic Muse:  http://mysticmuse.net
If you are interested in posting my story on your site, please contact me first for permission...Thanks!
Spoilers: None.
Feedback: Yes please! wispr@woh.rr.com
Author's Note: Big thanks to Rebelrsr for the betaing.
Pairing: Willow/Dawn
Summary: Takes place in the "Key Unlocking a Broken Heart" storyline. Willow thinks about the matter of trust while preparing for her first date with Dawn. Written in honor of the 4th annual International Day of Femslash.

The Key to Trusting...

Using her right elbow to push herself off the bed, Willow raised the right side of her body. The movement allowed her to pull her skirt up over her right hip. Once done, Willow lay back on the bed to rest a moment. So far she'd gotten her bra, panties and skirt on. She only needed to get her blouse and shoes and she would be finished dressing. Glancing over to the digital clock on the nightstand, Willow saw that - thanks to Dawn's thoughtfulness - there was no need to hurry and work up a sweat. She still had plenty of time to get ready for their... their date.

A date. Willow stared at her bedroom ceiling in a daze. "I'm going on a date." Willow thought. "And it's with Dawn!" She couldn't wrap her mind around that particular concept, or the fact she had kissed Dawn. A quick kiss, but still a kiss. Reaching up with one hand, Willow raised the rose-gold tulip locket, its petals inlaid with red garnets, high enough so that she could look at it in wonder. Remembering Dawn's romantic gesture on Valentine's Day, Willow almost burst into tears. Even after all the counseling and support groups, Willow still had trouble of thinking of herself being attractive anymore.

After gently laying the locket down on her chest, Willow used her elbows then hands to push into a sitting position. She lifted the hem of her skirt and exposed her unresponsive legs. They were thinner now because her muscles had atrophied. Her knee joints were more discernible. She hadn't worn shorts or even short skirts since the beating. Willow envied the others in her situation who did, who had the self-confidence to wear what they wanted and not worry about how others might react.

Willow had seen the quickly averted looks when she left the rehab center. Intellectually, she knew she had been focusing only on the negative reactions, but those few people who turned away, grimacing in disgust and pity, haunted her. It hurt. And for her, someone who so feared rejection that she had twice use memory spells on the one person who meant the world to her... Even after all this time, those reactions still cut her deeply. The memory made her self-conscious, like she'd been before meeting Tara. Willow feared what would happen the first time a woman saw her legs. But the woman tonight was different. This was Dawn; she had been there for Willow since her awakening from the coma. Dawn had already seen Willow naked before, when helping her in and out of the bath or the few embarrassing times when Willow had had an accident. Of everyone in Willow's life, it was Dawn who knew precisely what Willow's new lifestyle meant.

With a sigh of frustration, Willow used her arms to scoot over until she could reach her shoes where they sat on the edge of the bed. As she slipped on the shoes, she scanned her legs for any injuries she may have received unknowingly. Happy to see only unblemished skin, Willow pulled her blouse over her head, leaving it untucked by preference. Finally ready, Willow maneuvered to the edge of the bed and transferred to her wheelchair.

She wheeled to the vanity and brushed out her hair still contemplating her previous line of thought. Willow admitted that she greatly feared being rejected due to her disability, but that that wasn't the only reason she didn't want to date. More overwhelming than the specter of rejection was Willow's fear of placing her trust in the wrong person again. Even now, Kennedy's machinations still affected Willow and the others around her. Especially Dawn.

Earlier, when Dawn wheeled Willow to her room, the younger woman had grown pensive and had given Willow the chance put off the dinner date in case Willow had wanted more time to think it over or even back out completely. Willow knew Dawn hadn't wanted Willow to feel pressured or manipulated into a relationship. She hadn't wanted to be like Kennedy, who had used Willow's grief over Tara's death and her uncertainty over continued magic use to corral Willow into a relationship. From the day Kennedy had shown up at the Summers' house, she had started manipulating Willow. First, Kennedy got Willow to let her make of the sleeping arrangements. Arrangements that had Willow sharing a bed with her. Even though Willow had chosen to sleep on the floor Kennedy had kept badgering her to get into bed, going so far to boast about her family's wealth. When that hadn't had worked, Kennedy started separating Willow from the gang, slowly feeding Willow praise over her magic while at the same time subtly undermining Buffy. She constantly put Willow on the spot. And thanks to Willow's lack of self confidence, she had soaked up Kennedy's false praise to the point that Willow hadn't supported Buffy like she should. Kennedy had played them all very well. Just thinking about it now made Willow feel sick to her stomach.

Willow's thoughts continued to race as she began to apply her makeup. She grappled with insecurities over the upcoming date. All of Kennedy's machinations had left Willow with an irrational fear of people exploiting her again. Willow shuddered at the memory of how, during her rehabilitation, she had become a bitch to everyone, especially Dawn, at any hint of manipulation. It had taken quite some time for Willow to get past that particular psychosis. Willow still overly analyzing people's actions and what they said; although, there was one person Willow hadn't scrutinized for a while: Dawn.

Finishing her preparations, Willow put on a pair of gold Celtic knot earrings, examining the results with a highly critical eye. For the first time in a long while, she wanted to look her best for another person. Happy with the results, Willow gathered up her purse and left her suite of rooms to make her way to Dawn's living quarters. Coming to a stop in front of Dawn's door, Willow knocked. As she waited for Dawn to answer, Willow thought over the matter of trust. Willow knew in her heart that she completely trusted Dawn with her life, her body, even her inner thoughts. Everything except one crucial piece. Did she... Could she trust Dawn with her heart?

Dawn opened her door, startling Willow out of her mental meanderings. Giving Willow a shy smile, she said, "You really looking beautiful today. Are you ready?"

Willow felt her cheeks warm as her heart gave a little flutter she hadn't felt since Tara. Glancing up into Dawn's face, Willow intently searched the younger woman's eyes for the slightest hint of guile. All she saw was kindness and caring. Lips slowly curving in a bashful smile, Willow answered Dawn and herself.

"Yes."

The End