What I Am

by Talula

Copyright © 2004

asifyousaw@gmail.com

Rating: R
Disclaimer: All characters of Buffy the Vampire Slayer are the property of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy Productions. I do this for fun, not for profit. Dialogue and events borrowed from the episodes Family, Tough Love and The Gift.
Distribution:  The Mystic Muse:  http://mysticmuse.net
The End: http://www.asifyousaw.com/fiction/
Anywhere, but ask first
Feedback: Yes please.
Spoilers: Family.
Pairing: Willow/Tara

Summary: What if Tara really was a demon?

Part 1
Her Insect Reflection

Beth scowled at Tara. "Well, I hope you'll all be happy hanging out with a disgusting demon."

Anya raised her hand. "Excuse me. What kind?"

"What?" Beth asked, not understanding why Anya would ask that question.

"What kind of demon is she?" Anya repeated. "There are many different kinds. Some are very, very evil, and some are considered to be useful members of society." She shot Xander a huge grin and he returned her smile.

"What does it matter?" Beth asked.

"Evil is evil," Mr. Maclay added. He was becoming infuriated with these people, sticking their noses in where they don't belong.

"Well, let's just narrow it down," Anya continued.

"Oh," Spike said with a smirk. He walked toward Tara. "Why don't we make this simple?"

He tapped Tara on the shoulder. She looked over and he quickly threw a left jab at her nose. She cried out in pain and grabbed her nose. Spike was prepared to cry out in pain too, but he felt nothing. No blinding shock running through his brain. Nothing.

"Hey!" Willow shouted angrily toward Spike. Then she turned to Tara to see how bad he hurt her. Then she realized what everybody else in the Scooby Gang realized. She looked over at Spike again.

"Hey, that didn't hurt," he said. He smiled and chuckled. "She is a bloody demon. I thought he was making it up."

"Tara, I'm going to say this one last time..."

"Mr. Maclay," Giles interrupted, trying to ignore his curiosity over Spike's confirmation of whether or not Tara was a demon. "I don't believe anything has changed in the past two minutes. If Tara wishes to stay, your business here is finished."

Tara's father and brother looked angrily at everyone in the group before they turned and walked out the door. Beth was only angry with Tara. Finally she turned as well, leaving Tara's life forever. That left all the Scoobies to turn to Tara.

"She doesn't look like a demon," Dawn said, confused.

"Tara, do you know what kind of demon you are?" Giles asked, now very curious. "Did they ever tell you?"

She shook her head. "H-he just said I would change tomorrow."

"Well, I'm off. Unless you lot are gonna let me thrash the girl some more," Spike said. He saw them all glaring at him and he backed away. "Right then."

Once he was gone everyone moved over to the table and sat down. Tara was amazed that Willow sat close next to her and took her hand. She had thought Willow wouldn't want to be near her after what Spike proved.

"Is your nose okay?" Willow asked with a sympathetic smile.

"I-I think so," Tara said quietly. "Why aren't you..." She trailed off, not sure how to phrase the question.

"Why aren't I what?" Willow asked. Tara offered a small smile.

"Running away screaming?" she completed her question. Willow smiled and squeezed Tara's hand.

"Have you forgotten that I dated a werewolf?" she asked. "Oh, and an evil robot."

"Vampire," Buffy added, raising her hand.

"I'll see your vampire, werewolf and evil robot, and I'll raise you a giant praying mantis, an Incan mummy and an ex-vengeance demon," Xander continued the 'let's compare our weird date experiences' game. Tara chuckled and felt a little better.

"Wow. When I start dating, remind me not to ask any of you guys for advice," Dawn said. Buffy lightly hit her on the arm and gave her a sharp look. "What?"

"Well, I am intrigued. I've never heard of any instances where a person changes to a demon on their 20th birthday," Giles said. "Is there anything more you can tell us, Tara?"

"I don't know," she said. She truly didn't know much. All she knew was what her father had told her, which wasn't much at all. "All I know is that he said m-my mother was a demon, too. But she always looked human. I just thought she was a witch. She-she practiced Wicca."

"But as far as you know, she never killed anybody, right?" Buffy asked. "I think the important thing to find out is if your demon side is dangerous."

"Buffy's right," Giles said. "Contrary to what your father believes, not all demons are evil."

"How do we figure it out, though?" Xander asked. "Is there a test for this or something?"

"There could be a spell or potion that could help determine that," Giles said. He grabbed a book and started flipping through the pages.

"Can't we just wait till tomorrow?" Anya asked. "She's going to change no matter what kind she is. Might as well wait and see."

"We may have to," Giles said as he continued going through his book. "I'm going to venture a guess and say that the change would occur at the exact moment that you turn 20. Do you know what time of day you were born?"

"Uh, in the afternoon, I think," Tara replied. "Around 3 o'clock."

"So we all get a good night's sleep, come back tomorrow to watch her turn into a demon and then we go to the Bronze and party, right?" Xander asked.

"Sounds good to me," Buffy agreed.

"There isn't much we can do tonight," Giles said. "I'll do some preliminary research, but it may be best to meet back here tomorrow."

"I wanna stay and help research," Tara said. Giles nodded his head in approval.

"I'll stay, too," Willow said. She and Tara exchanged a smile as Buffy stood.

"I should get Dawn home," Buffy said. "We'll all meet back here by 3, right?"

"Sounds like a plan," Xander said. He and Anya stood to leave. "Don't worry, Tara. I'm sure you're not an evil demon."

"But if you are, please don't kill me," Anya said. Xander pulled Anya along. "What? We don't know that she won't be evil."

Once the others had left, Tara and Willow picked a couple of books to start researching in. Giles went to the other side of the store for a particular book and Willow turned to Tara.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked, not so much angry as confused.

"I wanted to, but I was afraid," Tara explained. "I was afraid that you wouldn't want to be near me or look at me."

"I'm looking at you now," Willow said. Tara made eye contact with her and smiled. "Whatever it is that's inside you, I can't believe that it's evil at all. I trust you. I love you." Tears started to form in Tara's eyes and Willow smiled. "It doesn't matter what you are, as long as we have that."

Tara sniffed and wiped at her happy tears. Willow leaned forward and took her in her arms, the two of them just finding comfort in each other. Whatever happened on Tara's birthday seemed unimportant. They knew they'd get through it, as long as they did it together.


Part 2
Origins

Willow and Tara hurried into the Magic Box to find everyone else already gathered there. Buffy had just arrived after picking Dawn up from school.

"Sorry we're late," Willow said as she and Tara sat at the table with the others. "We, uh..."

"...overslept," Tara offered.

Giles looked at his and scowled in confusion. "Until three in the afternoon?"

"We were really tired," Willow said nervously. She grabbed a book and tried to look innocent.

"They were having sex," Anya blurted out. It was Tara's turn to grab a book to hide her embarrassment. Anya noticed the looks on everyone's faces and turned to Xander. "That's the excuse you give when we're late because of sex."

Dawn's eyes widened and Buffy choked on the water she had just drank from her water bottle. Xander laughed in embarrassment and then looked across the table. He had to change the subject.

"So, Tara. Do you feel any different today? Any demon-y...stuff happening? Let's talk about demon-y stuff."

Tara was more than willing to talk about 'demon-y stuff' if it changed the subject. "No, I feel the same, pretty much," she replied. "But I did find my birth certificate. I was born at 3:32 in the afternoon."

Giles, who was standing behind her, looked at his watch. "Well, that's five minutes from now."

"Yeah...sorry," she apologized for her tardiness. "Do we know anything else?"

"Nothing terribly illuminating, I'm afraid," Giles said. "It appears we'll just have to wait five minutes and see what happens. Not exactly the best plan."

"But a plan, nonetheless," Xander said sarcastically.

"Aside from the demon stuff, how does the big 2-0 feel?" Buffy asked, setting down the book she had been looking in.

"Not much different than the big 1-9," Tara replied with a smirk.

"Did you get any presents yet?" Dawn asked.

"Just Willow's," Tara said with a smile. She reached over and took Willow's hand.

"Sex," Anya muttered. Willow shot her a look.

"A protection spell," she said. "I figured with all the unknown demon stuff today, it would be a good idea."

"It's definitely better than some of my past presents," Buffy said. "Not only do arms in boxes not go with anything, but they're really hard to return."

Everyone continued chatting about birthdays and the thought of Tara's pending demon-ness left their minds. They didn't realize five minutes had passed until Giles noticed the clock on the wall.

"Tara, it's been over five minutes," he said. He removed his glasses and approached her. "Do you feel any different?"

"No," she said, confused.

"Maybe she's not a demon," Dawn said. "Maybe Spike's chip malfunctioned."

"I would really be more comfortable with Tara being a demon right now," Buffy said, not liking the thought of Spike being 'big bad' again.

"Is there anything else you can tell us about your mother?" Giles asked.

"Not much. Every month she would take me out to the woods and we would pay homage to the earth and perform rituals," Tara replied. "But again, I just thought she was a Wicca."

"You just thought she was a Wicca," Giles muttered. Then a look of realization spread across his face and he grabbed a book of a nearby shelf. The others just watched curiously as he flipped through the pages. Finally he looked up. "Cawdr am daear."

"English, Giles," Buffy said. "We don't all speak 7 languages."

"Tara, what was your mother's maiden name?" he asked, ignoring Buffy's sarcasm.

"Griffiths," Tara replied, not sure what Giles was getting at.

"I knew it," he said. "Griffiths originates from the Welsh name Gruffydd. Cawdr am daear is the Welsh name for a species of demon. It means 'keeper of earth.'"

He grabbed a pathetic looking potted plant off a table and handed it to Tara. Everyone was clueless as to what Giles was getting at until the withered leaves on the plant started to expand and become lush. The plant grew in Tara's hands and became as healthy as ever. Giles took the plant back and set it aside.

"Cawdr am daear are a peaceful species of demon. In fact, they're only classified as demons because they can't be classified as humans," he explained. "They look human and are often mistaken for Wiccans because of their power. They can harness and manipulate the earth's energies."

"So she can make stuff grow?" Xander asked.

"It's more than that," Giles explained. "In their most basic forms, all creatures and objects come from the earth. She could manipulate anything from this table to a bird to a person."

"But I'm a good demon?" Tara asked. Giles nodded his head, and Tara smiled in relief. She looked to Willow who was also smiling, happy that things had turned out okay. Then she thought of something else. "Why isn't my brother a demon?"

"This species of demon, like your father said, is only female. They mate with human males to continue on, but no male offspring will inherit the demon traits."

Buffy stood and walked over to Giles to read over his shoulder.

"Hey, it says here that these demons might have demon strength," she said.

"Um, yes," Giles said. Tara stood to see the book as well. "There are no documented accounts of the demons' physical strength because of their passive nature."

"Well, there's one way to find out," Buffy said. She stepped back and threw a right hook at Tara. But instead of making contact, Buffy watched in awe as Tara grabbed her wrist and threw her halfway across the store.

"Woah!" Xander exclaimed.

"You could have just asked her to pick up something heavy," Giles said dryly, shooting a look of disgust at Buffy.

"Live and learn," Buffy said with a grunt as she pushed herself up off the floor. Willow stood and she and Tara both moved over to Buffy.

"God, Buffy, I'm sorry," Tara said. "Are y-you okay?"

"Yeah," Buffy said with a smile. "It's okay. You were defending yourself."

"She kicked your ass," Dawn said with a gleeful smirk. It wasn't often somebody beat Buffy in a fight.

"I-I don't know if I want super strength," Tara said nervously. "What if I hurt someone on accident?"

"Perhaps some training for you along the lines of Buffy's training might be in order," Giles suggested.

"He loves training," Buffy said with a smirk. Tara laughed, but then she realized what training meant.

"You want to teach me to fight?"

"Well, perhaps not necessarily fight," Giles said. "It would just be best to make sure you know how to control your strength and your powers."

"Although, with the new big bad bimbo looking for this key, it would help to have all the super powers we can get on our side," Buffy said.

They saw Tara's reluctance and Willow wrapped her arm around Tara's waist. "It's up to you. We'll understand if you don't want to."

"I guess I'll think about it," Tara said timidly. She smiled sheepishly. "This is the weirdest birthday I've ever had."

"Welcome to my world," Buffy said. She returned to the table and her seat next to Dawn.

"Weird good?" Willow asked quietly with a coy smile.

Tara returned the smile and sighed contentedly. "Weird excellent."


Part 3
Learning Control

"Your reflexes are amazing," Giles said. He was holding a quarterstaff and taking swings at Tara. She easily dodged each swing he took. He had insisted on some physical and mental tests so he could assess the best way to proceed with training her in the use of her powers.

"Really?" she asked in surprise as she dodged another swing. "I always kinda thought I was a klutz."

"Yes, well everything you've thought about yourself has changed," Giles said. He tried to sweep her feet out from under her but she jumped over the staff. He thrust the staff forward; she grabbed it and spun him around. He lost his grip on the staff and tumbled to the floor. "Good. Good work. It seems I'm quite the novice compared to you. Perhaps when Buffy arrives later she could better test your skills."

"Oh, I don't know if I'm ready for that," Tara said nervously as she helped Giles up. "Fighting the slayer? That's moving kinda fast. I'm still not sure if I want to fight at all."

"Of course," Giles said. "Don't want to rush you. Just a suggestion."

"S-so, what's next?" Tara asked.

"Next we test the extent of your supernatural powers," Giles said. "This will all seem rather boring to you at first I'm afraid. It will be similar to a lot of things you already know through witchcraft."

"Well, it's a start," she said, nodding her head. "Better than fighting."

For about thirty minutes Giles discussed methods of meditation and control. Tara sat and listened as he lectured about emotions. She almost felt like she should be taking notes. Willow had mentioned that feeling tended to happen when Giles got into one of his lectures. Finally he stopped talking.

"Okay, let's see what we're dealing with," he said. He motioned for her to sit on the floor in the center of the training room. She sat cross-legged and waited for his instructions. When he spoke she did everything he said as best she could. "Close your eyes and clear your mind. Let your senses take over. No thoughts. Only feelings and sensations. Attune yourself with your surroundings and make a connection with them."

She did as he said, freeing her mind from all thought. After a moment her skin started to tingle. She could hear the sound of a heartbeat, and at first she thought it was her own. Soon she realized that the heartbeat belonged to Giles. She could hear it as well as she could hear his voice. There was no breeze in the room but she could feel air brushing her skin – air from Giles as he spoke, air from the wings of a fly as it passed her. She could smell Giles cologne just as well as she could smell some incense from out in the shop. The chirping birds from outside the shop were chirping in her ears. A block away somebody was cooking steaks on a barbeque and she could smell it. She could feel the spray of sprinklers across town where children were playing in them. She could hear earthworms burrowing in the ground and the sound of an argument in the lobby of her dormitory.

"Now, use what you feel and channel it," Giles said. "Channel all these sensations into your power."

Tara concentrated on the argument. It was a couple. A guy was arguing with his girlfriend. He thought she had cheated on him. Soon she started feeling their emotions as well. She could get into their minds. She moved her hands from her lap and placed her palms flat on the floor on either side of her. She concentrated on the girl. She hadn't cheated on her boyfriend. She was telling him the truth. Tara then moved to the guy.

Their argument stopped suddenly when the guy became confused. He looked at the girl and was stunned. She waited for him to say something. She could tell he wanted to say something.

"You didn't cheat on me," he said. She was shocked at his sudden change of heart. "I know you didn't cheat on me. I'm sorry for yelling at me."

"What?" she asked, confused.

"I'm sorry. Forgive me for being jealous?" he asked. She smiled and nodded her head. Tara concentrated on the girl again.

"You love me?" she asked.

"I do love you," the guy said. He had just been thinking that.

"You've never said that to me before," she said. She smiled. "I love you, too."

Tara retreated from the argument and her mind started to pick up Giles' voice again. But that wasn't the only thing she picked up. There was a rumbling sound. She felt herself shaking.

"Tara!" Giles shouted. She opened her eyes and saw him standing in the doorway of the training room, trying to keep from falling over. She removed her hands from the floor and the shaking stopped. She looked around confused.

All the weapons that had been hanging on the walls were now on the floor. A set of shelves had fallen over and a glass case had shattered. The attack dummy had fallen over and was lying in front of her. She stood and moved toward the door. Giles stepped aside and they both looked out to see Anya climbing out from underneath the table. Books had fallen off their shelves. The glass case near the register had shattered and many things had fallen off the walls.

"You just caused an earthquake in the shop," Giles said in amazement. "What were you doing?"

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't know I w-was…" she stammered. "I d-didn't mean to do that."

"Well, that's something we'll have to work into your training," Giles said with a shrug of his shoulders. "What were you doing?"

"Uh, I was settling an argument," she said with a sheepish smile. The two of them walked out into the shop. Tara started picking up books while Giles moved toward the center of the shop to help Anya clean up. "A couple was fighting in my dorm. I-I made them know the truth."

Giles turned and looked to her in confusion. "Made them know the truth? How exactly?"

"Well, he thought she cheated on him, but I could sense that she was telling him the truth," Tara explained. "So I caused him to feel from her what I was sensing. I made him know."

"Extraordinary," Giles said.

"Extraordinary?" Anya asked. She picked up a broken statue. "She broke merchandise."

"It's all right, Anya," Giles said. "We can replace that."

"The display case is shattered," Anya said.

"I-I might be able to fix that," Tara offered. "You know…kind of like I made the plant grow."

"That's quite all right," Giles said with a smile. "I think for now it would be best to rely on traditional methods of repair. Although we would appreciate your help with the clean up."

"Of course," Tara said as she continued to reshelve books. She looked over when Willow walked into the store.

"Wow," Willow said, looking at the mess. "What happened?"

"Tara caused an earthquake and broke stuff," Anya replied.

"Caused an earthquake?" Willow asked in confusion.

"It seems she was channeling her power and the earthquake was a side effect," Giles explained. "It's something we'll work on, of course."

"Well, as long as nobody got hurt," Willow said.

"The merchandise got hurt," Anya said. "Can't you train her somewhere else, Giles? Somewhere far away from the merchandise?"

Giles chuckled and exchanged a smile with Tara. "That's something we'll take into consideration, Anya."


Part 4
Keeping Dawn Safe

After Buffy told the group about Dawn, she retreated to the training room while the others tried to research. It wasn't easy. They were still reeling from the idea that Dawn wasn't really Buffy's sister.

"I think they're all taking it rather well," Giles said, interrupting Buffy's rampage on the punching bag. She stretched her arms behind her and Giles walked further into the room toward her. "Although I suppose the real test will be when they next see Dawn."

"I know," Buffy said. "I'm not so worried about Will and Tara, or Xander even. But Anya…"

"We'll deal with that when we come to it," Giles said. "Hopefully it shouldn't be too much of a problem."

"Glory may be insane, but if she sees any of them even shoot Dawn a weird look, she'll find her key," Buffy said. "I just…I know they needed to know, but I'm just worried."

"Understandable," Giles said. "We all will be doing everything we can around the clock to help keep Dawn safe and to stop Glory."

"Buffy. M-Mr. Giles."

Tara stood in the doorway of the training room and they both waited for her to say whatever she needed to say.

"Teach me to fight," she said. Giles and Buffy looked at each other, confused. Tara walked further into the training room.

"What changed?" Giles asked.

"I think it was easier before – easier to be selfish and choose not to fight – when I thought the key was some thing, an object," Tara said. She looked down at the floor. "But the key…it's…I mean…Dawnie."

"I know," Buffy said quietly.

"You're certain about this, Tara?" Giles asked. He removed his glasses and approached her. "You know what you're risking if you ever face Glory."

"None of us really know what we're risking if we face Glory," Buffy said.

"Death and dismemberment?" Tara guessed. Buffy smirked.

"I guess that's one possibility," she said.

"You said it yourself," Tara said to Giles. "We'll all do everything we can around the clock to protect Dawn and stop Glory." He nodded his head. "I'm sure about this. I-I want to learn. I want to help."

"Very well," Giles said. "We can start your training tomorrow I suppose. Glory hasn't made any direct confrontations. We can assume she doesn't even know the key is a person. As long as she doesn't, that is an advantage."

"Not much of one," Buffy said.

"Yes," Giles agreed. "For tonight we should continue with the research."

He headed back out to the shop area and Tara turned to follow him. Buffy stepped forward and grabbed her by the arm.

"Tara, thank you," Buffy said. "This means more than you know."

Tara simply nodded her head and looked around the training room. It was a place she was going to spend a lot of time in. But it would be worth it. Anything would be worth it as long as Dawn was safe.


Part 5
Little Earthquakes

Tara and Willow returned to Willow's dorm room after a long night of research, and Willow immediately fell back on her bed and closed her eyes.

"I'm all for studying. You know I'm study gal," Willow said, keeping her eyes closed. Tara took off her jacket and smiled at her. "But these all-night demon study sessions are going to be the death of me."

Tara's smile faded at that phrase. The death of me. It was a phrase that haunted her thoughts, especially with her recent decision. She hadn't told Willow about it yet. Willow opened her eyes when the room remained silent with no response from Tara. She noticed the look on Tara's face and sat up.

"Is something wrong?" Willow asked. She knew the answer to the question. She could sense it. She could always sense what Tara was feeling if she tried. It was a connection they had that made their relationship even more intense and more meaningful than Willow could ever have hoped for. But she knew Tara was nervous and worried. The question was a courtesy.

"I-I was just thinking about Dawn," she said, skirting the issue. She had to tell Willow. Giles had scheduled her first combat training session for the following afternoon. "It's weird, isn't it? I mean, you've known Dawn a lot longer than I have, but in reality you haven't. The monks just made it feel like you have."

"I know. It's hard to grasp," Willow agreed. "I remember things from when I was in high school with Buffy, and I'd go over to Buffy's house and Dawn would be there annoying Buffy and asking what we were doing. She was being a little sister. But she wasn't. None of that really happened."

"But Dawn's still...real. She's a girl now. Just like us," Tara said. She and Willow immediately exchanged a knowing smirk. "Well, maybe not exactly like us. But it doesn't matter how long she's been here. All that matters is what we feel. She's a person. She feels real. So we should think of her that way. Right?"

"Right," Willow said. She looked at Tara, confused. "But the Dawn thing isn't really what's bothering you is it? There's something else."

Tara moved over and sat on the bed next to Willow. She looked down at the floor as she spoke. "I told Giles and Buffy that I want to learn how to fight."

"Oh."

The briefness in her response and the tone in her voice suggested to Tara that Willow wasn't exactly pleased with that. She would pretend to be okay with it. She would act as if it didn't bother her. Tara looked to see what Willow's facial expression could tell her. She was looking at her hands, obviously trying to figure out what to say.

"I figured it would be the best thing to do," Tara explained. "Especially now that we know...about Dawn. I can't sit on my powers selfishly."

"No, you can't," Willow agreed quietly.

She stood and walked across the room. She fidgeted with some crystals on a shelf. There was one in particular that Tara had given her not long after they had met. She took that in her right hand and rubbed it with her thumb. She thought about what this meant. Tara fighting meant Tara fighting Glory. Buffy had made it abundantly clear that Glory was the worst evil she had ever faced. Couple that with the Watcher's Council revelation that Glory was a god, and Willow's stomach turned at the inevitable future in Tara's life.

"Sweetie?" Tara asked, standing and walking a few steps toward her. Willow looked up and offered an understanding smile.

"I get it," Willow said. "I would make the same decision. It's just...I don't wanna..."

She trailed off, but Tara knew what she was getting at. She moved over and stood in front of Willow, resting both her hands on Willow's shoulders.

"You won't lose me," Tara said. "Ever."

"You plan on being immortal?" Willow asked with a smirk. Tara smiled and placed her hand over Willow's heart.

"I will be to you," Tara said. She paused and then made eye contact with Willow. "Byth."

Willow looked confused. "What?"

"I found it in Giles' book about my species of demon," Tara explained. "It's welsh. It means forever."

Willow smiled and wrapped her arms around Tara, pulling her into a warm embrace. Tara continued talking, to reassure her.

"Besides, I'm just the defense. Buffy's totally the offense," she said. Willow chuckled.

"We're playing sports now?"

"Yeah," Tara said with a laugh. "Water polo."

"Polo?" Willow asked. "With horses?"

"Yes, horses in water," Tara replied. They separated from their hug finally and Tara gave Willow a mock-serious look. "Glory will be no match for us."

"Damn straight," Willow said confidently. "If she thought she was in trouble when she just had to fight Buffy, she doesn't know what she's got coming."

"Right," Tara said. Willow could hear the nervousness behind her voice. She brushed Tara's hair out of her face and rested her hand under Tara's chin. Tears formed in Tara's eyes and she realized she couldn't keep up the brave face anymore. She closed her eyes and leaned her forehead against Willow's. Her voice was shaking as she spoke. "I'm so scared."

Willow didn't say a word. She gently brushed her fingertips along the left side of Tara's face, letting her lean into her hand. Tara opened her eyes and let her tears fall. Willow brushed them away with her thumbs and leaned forward. Their lips brushed briefly and they just hovered there for a moment. When they finally kissed, Tara and Willow felt everything start to melt away. All their fear and doubt and worry disappeared as they found comfort and strength in each other.

They moved toward the bed slowly. When Tara's legs hit the edge of the bed she moved to sit and Willow leaned forward with her, the two of them not parting from their kiss. Tara laid back on the bed and finally their lips parted as Willow moved to kiss Tara's neck.

Tara's senses went into overdrive. As Willow's lips touched her skin, it was as if she was being touched for the first time. Her skin felt like it was vibrating. She took in the scent of Willow. It was intoxicating. She had never felt this way before, nearly overwhelmed by how powerful every sensation was. She knew this had to be her demon powers. She just hoped that she wouldn't lose control. She feared it.

"Willow," she gasped breathlessly as the redhead continued. She wanted to tell Willow to stop, that she wasn't ready for this. But she couldn't form the words. Her mind was blocked by all the new sensations she was experiencing. Slowly her hands made their way up Willow's body and she gripped Willow's shoulders. Then suddenly and without warning she flipped Willow over onto her back on the bed.

Willow yelped in surprise as Tara knelt over her. She saw that Tara was as surprised as she was. They held eye contact for a while, panting in anticipation. Willow could sense that Tara was waiting for her approval. So she nodded her head, assuring her that it would be all right. It was as if they were sleeping together for the first time again, except this time Tara was the inexperienced one.

Tara leaned down and they kissed roughly as they fumbled blindly with the buttons on each other's shirts. A couple buttons broke off, but neither of them noticed as they threw their shirts aside.

She began to kiss along Willow's neck and shoulder, moving toward her chest as she brushed her bra straps off. Willow gasped at every touch. Tara was intentionally using her powers now, focusing the energies of the earth into every kiss and every caress. The energy between them was electric, surging through their very being. By the time all their clothes were off they were both on the verge of ecstasy.

Tara had never felt more alive in her life. At this moment her fear of death felt insignificant. She felt unstoppable, stronger than ever. She could hear both her own heartbeat and Willow's heartbeat in her ears, beating almost on pace with each other. Their lives were joined together, Tara realized. Alone she wouldn't help defeat Glory. With Willow by her side, she would.

Her eyes closed and she cried out as she was thrown over the edge. Not only did the bed shake, but the entire room shook as Tara's concentration on her powers faltered a little. Neither of them cared as a bookshelf on the other side of the room fell over. Once the tremors had stopped they collapsed in each other's arms. They lay together in the rumpled sheets of Willow's bed, trembling from the aftershocks of what they had just experienced. They were both out of breath and glistening with sweat. They just laid in silence for a moment, letting the feelings they had just experienced settle in.

"Wow," Willow gasped, finally breaking the silence. Tara smiled.

"I know."

"That was...wow," she said, at a loss for words.

Tara laughed and ran her hand along Willow's arm gently. "I know."

Willow opened her eyes finally and noticed the bookshelf that had fallen over. "Oh, we've got a mess to clean up."

Tara looked over to the books and smiled sheepishly. "Oops. I think I kind of caused a little earthquake there."

Willow sat up a little and made eye contact with Tara, smiling coyly. "You sure did."

"I wasn't sure what would happen," Tara said. "I was afraid of what would happen. That's why we haven't...since I became a demon." She paused. "I was afraid I would hurt you."

Willow ran her hand through Tara's hair and then laid back down, resting her head on Tara's chest. "You could never hurt me."

She kissed Willow on the top of the head and closed her eyes. "That's a promise."


Part 6
Quarrels and Confrontations

Tara and Willow stood in Willow's dorm room having an argument about where their relationship was going. It was becoming apparent to Willow that Tara didn't trust her.

"I trust you. I just..." Tara began. She looked down at the floor. "I don't know where I'm gonna fit in...in your life when..."

"When...I change back?" Willow asked, not believing what she was hearing. She continued, her voice filled with sarcasm. "Yeah, this is a college thing. Just a-a little experimentation before I get over the thrill and head back to boys' town." She paused and tried to look Tara in the eyes. "Do you think that?"

"Should I?" Tara asked accusingly. Willow blinked back tears.

"I'm really sorry that I didn't establish my lesbo street cred before I got into this relationship. You're the only woman I've ever fallen in love with," she said, her voice trembling with anger, disappointment and sadness. "So how on earth could you ever take me seriously?"

She walked past Tara to the door and Tara called after her, "Willow, please!"

"Have fun at the fair," Willow muttered before walking out of the room and slamming the door behind her.

Tara remained in the room, not sure what to do. Part of her wanted to follow Willow, to stop her from leaving until they understood each other. Another part of her knew that they both needed to cool off, and then they could get together and have a calm discussion about what had just happened. Then a completely irrational part of her thought about how she could make Willow come back with her powers. She shook her head when she realized how insane that idea was. Finally she decided to go to the fair. She hoped it would take her mind off the argument. They would see each other later and they would talk. She knew they could work it out.


She walked through the fair, past the booths and the people. She didn't look at any of them. Her arms were crossed over her chest and she just looked at the ground as she walked. Occasionally someone would bump into her. She wouldn't look up. She was preoccupied with Willow. She could feel Willow's sadness and confusion. She could also feel betrayal. It hurt her to feel that. She hadn't wanted to betray Willow. It was all a big mistake.

She sat on a bench and let her arms fall to her sides. She watched people walk by. She watched couples and parents with children. She watched friends and siblings laugh and enjoy themselves. She wished she could be doing that with Willow.

Tara smiled when she felt a hand touching hers and locking fingers, but her smile immediately disappeared when she saw the hand didn't belong to Willow. Glory smiled at her.

"Is this seat taken?"

Tara couldn't speak. She was frozen in fear. She had been training for a while, but it didn't feel like nearly enough. She couldn't fight Glory. She wasn't ready. She was nowhere near ready.

"This is nice," Glory said. "Just hangin' out. Just us girls." She looked down at their hands. "You like this sort of thing, don't you?"

She squeezed and Tara started to cry out as the bones in her hand cracked and snapped. But Glory held up her free hand.

"Don't...make a sound," she said. She noticed Tara looking at a couple of guys nearby. "Nah. They won't help you. I'd kill them. You know that." Tara glanced over at the police. "There's no one here that can stop me. I'll kill her. I'll kill him and her and her. And it would be all your fault."

"Kinda funny, isn't it? All these people here and no one who can do a thing," Glory continued. Tara looked over at her fearfully, whimpering in pain. "But that's people for ya. Pretty worthless."

She squeezed Tara's hand again and drew blood. Tara bit her lip to keep from screaming. Glory lifted Tara's hand up.

"Now keys on the other hand," Glory said with a smile. "Keys are worth a very lot."

She licked Tara's blood off her hand and moments later she spit it back out, her face twisted in a grimace of disgust. She looked at Tara angrily.

"You lying little tramp. You're not the key. You're nothing," Glory said. "I hate being lied to. It makes me feel so betrayed."

Tara looked at her fearfully. She had to get out of here. She had to do something, but she couldn't move. She was too frightened. Her mind kept shouting at her to do something, but her body wouldn't respond.

"Hey! You wanna make it all better?" Glory asked, her scowl quickly changing to a smile. "If you tell me who the key really is, I'll let you go."

Conflicting thoughts ran through Tara's mind. Part of her thought about how she would rather die before revealing Dawn as the key. Another part was still screaming at her to run or fight or do something other than just sit there. A third part was telling her to give up and tell Glory who the key was. She was in a panic and she didn't know what to do. She whimpered when Glory gave her hand another squeeze and cracked more bones.

"Think about it. You think your hand hurts? Imagine what you'd feel with my fingers wiggling in your brain." Tara said nothing, and Glory continued talking. "It doesn't kill you. What it does is make you feel like you're locked in a noisy little dark room, naked and ashamed. And there are things in the dark that need to hurt you because you're bad. Little pinching things that go in your ears and crawl on the inside of your brain. And you know that if all the noise and the crawling would stop, that you could remember how to get out."

Glory paused and looked over at Tara. Tears streamed down Tara's cheeks. She closed her eyes and tried to will some kind of strength within herself.

"But you never ever will." She gave Tara's hand another squeeze, causing Tara to whimper again. She glared at her angrily. "Who...is...the key?"

Slowly Tara turned her head. She drew in a deep breath and looked at Glory with a sharp gaze. She concentrated on everything around her. She felt the breeze blowing against her. She heard conversations from the other side of the fair. She saw through Glory like she was looking through glass. Suddenly the ground started shaking. Glory looked around in confusion as the people started running and screaming in fear. While Glory was off guard, Tara balled her left hand into a fist and then swung with all the strength she could find. It startled Glory enough to get her to let go of her right hand. Tara jumped up and ran as fast as she could.

After a moment it felt like she hit something and fell backward. Glory towered over her, looking down on her. For the first time since Tara had first seen Glory, she actually looked like a god. Glory grabbed Tara by the arms and lifted her up.

"What do you think you're doing?" Glory asked in confusion. "You hit me."

"You…broke my hand," Tara shot back. She brought her right leg up and shoved Glory off of her. She knew running wasn't going to work, not yet. She took a defensive stance as Glory regained her footing. When she saw Tara standing there, ready to fight, she laughed.

"You're kidding, right?" Glory asked. "You think you can fight me, witch?"

"I'm not a witch," Tara said. She took a couple steps forward, jumped and hit Glory with a flying kick. The hellgod fell to the ground and looked up, shocked. "I'm a demon."

Glory stood and the fight truly began.


Willow sat in the Magic Box, feeling horrible. She couldn't get her mind off of her argument with Tara. What she had said about feeling like the junior partner was true, especially with Tara being a demon. Tara was more powerful than Willow could ever dream of being. Then Tara's doubts were revealed. Willow hadn't expected that at all. She thought Tara trusted her. In her mind, Willow heard what she had said to Tara the night before her birthday.

"Whatever it is that's inside you, I can't believe that it's evil at all. I trust you. I love you. It doesn't matter what you are, as long as we have that."

But did they have that? She wasn't sure. She was just so confused.

"I hope this isn't a return. Everyone wants petrified hamsters, but they're never happy with them," Giles said as he placed a box on the counter and cut the twine holding it closed. Willow walked toward the counter and leaned on it, looking extremely depressed. Giles noticed this. "You all right?"

"Yeah," Willow said quietly.

 "Ah, yes, because your good mood is both obvious and contagious," he said sarcastically.

"I had a fight with Tara. It was awful."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Giles said sympathetically. He turned to put some items on the shelves behind him.

"Me too," Willow muttered.

"You two don't quarrel much?" he asked.

"Never. Until today," Willow said sadly.

"Well, now it's over," Giles said. He returned some other items to the shelves, not noticing the upset expression on Willow's face until she started speaking frantically.

"Over? How can it be over? I just found her."

Giles smiled warmly and moved back to the counter. "The quarrel's over."

Willow looked down sheepishly. "Oh. Yeah."

A noise behind Giles caused him to look over briefly before he continued his discussion with Willow. "You'll feel better when you've made your apologies, and you'll know you can fight without the world ending." He started to move over to the door behind the counter. "I know it all seems bleak now, but as they say, this too..." He grabbed the doorknob, pulled it open to reveal one of Glory's minions before he slammed the door back, knocking the minion to the floor. "...shall pass."


Glory caught Tara across the jaw with a right hook, bloodying her nose and splitting her lip. Tara regained her footing and turned, hitting Glory in the gut with a roundhouse kick. She then followed up with a left backhand. Glory stumbled backward against a tree and Tara held out her left hand. The branches of the tree started to magically bend and grab Glory. Roots started to come out of the ground and wrap around her legs. But this didn't slow Glory for long.

The hellgod ripped the branch holding her right arm off the tree and swung it, catching Tara in the left side of her abdomen. She was thrown several yards and she slammed down hard on the sidewalk. She gagged and coughed, trying to catch her breath. She was certain she had felt things crack and break with that blow. When she looked up she saw Glory looming over her.

"You're not lookin' so good," Glory said with a smirk as she reached down and grabbed Tara by the throat, pulling her up to her knees. "I haven't even broken a sweat, sweetheart."

Tara held the palms of her hands toward the ground. Again, the ground shook and Glory looked around in confusion. But this time Tara didn't hit her. She concentrated on the earth and it started to change beneath Glory. The concrete cracked and stone started to grow upward around Glory's legs. She was startled and she let go of Tara. The stone was already up to her chest.

"What the hell?" Glory asked. Then she glared at Tara as the stone covered her arms. "This won't stop me. I'll go through each of the slayer's friends until I find my key. Starting with you."

Finally the stone worked its way up around Glory's head. Tara didn't hesitate as she stumbled to her feet and forced herself to run.

Moments after Tara left, the stone shattered and exploded, allowing Glory to step out. She turned to give chase, but before she could take a step she stopped and shook her head. She could feel it happening.

"No, you little creep. Not now," she said angrily. She fell to her knees as Glory's presence slowly disappeared and Ben's took her place. He looked around and saw that he was now kneeling on the ground in public, wearing a dress. He stood and ran, trying to get away from the confused looks of all the people around him.


Willow stood, startled, and Anya hurried over from the other side of the shop.

"Wow," Anya said as Giles dragged the minion over and shoved him in a chair.

"Now, what do we have here?" Giles asked.

"Oh! He's one of those things that work for Glory," Anya said excitedly.

"Yes. How helpful," Giles said smugly, staring at the minion.

"I do indeed work for the god," the minion said in his raspy voice. "Let me go if you do not wish to incur her wrath."

"Well, she's not here," Giles said. "What a marvelous opportunity for you and me to talk."

"I will not betray Glorificus. I will never talk, no matter what heinous torture – "

"Actually, you're talking quite a lot," Giles interrupted. "Just not about the right things. Tell us why you're here."

"No words shall pass my lips that will bring peril to Glorificus."

There was a pause and then Giles pointed to the counter. "Girls, get the twine that's on the counter. Let's tie him up."

The two of them turned to retrieve the twine, but they turned back when they heard a cracking noise shortly before the minion started shrieking and begging.

"No, no! I'll tell you! Anything. Please! Whatever you want. Just...I'll...anything!"

"What happened?" Anya asked in surprise and confusion.

"He changed his mind," Giles said dryly.

"I'm...I'm supposed to watch. We're watching the slayer's people...while Glory fetches the key."

That got their attention. They all looked alarmed at the thought of Glory heading over to Buffy's house at that very moment.

"Glory knows who the key is?" Willow asked fearfully.

"Oh god," Giles said as he removed his glasses.

"We've gotta call Buffy," Anya said.

"Too late, too late," the minion said with an enthusiastic smirk. "Glorificus will find the witch and there's nothing you can do to stop her."

"Witch?" Anya asked, confused.

"Tara!" Willow exclaimed, realization and fear hitting her like a Mack truck. She turned, grabbed her jacket and headed for the door. She stopped short when the door burst open and Tara rushed in. Tara slammed the door shut behind her and turned, falling to her knees in exhaustion and pain. "Tara, oh my god. Glory – "

"She thought..." Tara began, gasping for breath and cringing in pain as Willow helped her stand and walk over to the table. "She thought I was the key."

"We know," Giles said. He gestured to Glory's minion. "We just found out she was coming for you."

"We fought," Tara said weakly. The others had already deduced that by her appearance. She had a bloody nose, split lip and her left eye was starting to swell. She was also being very careful about her right hand, which was covered with blood. Her jacket was torn and her clothes were covered with dirt and blood. They were almost certain she had other injuries that they couldn't see.

"You escaped," Giles said, both relieved and surprised. He had hoped to have every confidence in Tara's powers and fighting skills eventually, but he felt now was a bit soon for her to be fighting Glory.

"Barely," she said, cringing when she accidentally moved her hand, causing a surge of pain. She stood slowly, ignoring Willow's attempts to keep her seated as she turned to the front window. "I know I only slowed her down. I didn't stop her."

"Do you think she's headed here?" Anya asked nervously. Tara shrugged her shoulders and turned back to them. She stumbled a little, but Willow caught her.

"We need to get you to a hospital," Willow said, filled with concern.

"Dawn," Tara said worriedly, shaking her head. "Glory said she's going to go through all the slayer's friends until she finds the key."

"Anya, call Buffy," Giles instructed. "Tell her what's happened. Where's Xander?"

"He's at work," Anya said. "Glory won't find him there. I'll call him."

"Willow, get Tara to the hospital," Giles continued. He turned to Glory's minion. "I'll take care of our friend here."

Willow helped Tara toward the door. "Willow, I'm sorry I – " Tara started to apologize. Willow just smiled and shook her head.

"We'll apologize later when we're not dead," Willow said. Tara smiled and they made their way out of the Magic Box, keeping their eyes open for a redheaded god-type in a stunning evening gown.


Part 7
Finding Purpose

Tara was resting in the hospital bed, Willow by her bedside. The doctor had just left after telling Tara everything that was wrong with her. Her hand was shattered and covered in a cast. Three of her ribs were broken. The doctor had said she was lucky one of them hadn't punctured any vital organs. He said overall she had been extremely lucky. She and Willow felt the same way.

Now that the doctor was gone she started using her powers. She had hoped she could harness the earth's energies to heal faster, and she was very excited when she found she could. Although it took a lot of energy to do. She had only been focusing on healing her ribs for a minute and she felt very tired.

"So, you're really healing yourself?" Willow asked curiously. Tara nodded her head. She remained silent for a moment longer and then exhaled and looked over at Willow.

"I'm working on my ribs right now. Then I'll do my hand," she said. "It'll take some time. It's very tiring."

Willow just nodded her head. They remained in silence for a moment. Tara was trying to figure out how to begin what she wanted to say.

"Willow, about earlier…I didn't mean to hurt you," she said. "It's just that everything's been changing so much lately. You're becoming more powerful every day and I've got all this demon stuff going on and then we've got Glory to worry about. It's all been so crazy. It's hard to know where anything's going, whether it's you or me or something else. I'm sorry."

"I know, and I'm sorry I blew up," Willow said. "I didn't really give you a chance to explain. I think maybe I'm confused too. I mean, I'm not confused about us. I think that's the only thing I'm not confused about."

"You're not the junior partner," Tara said. "It doesn't matter who has what powers or how experienced I am compared to you. When it comes to us, our relationship, we're equal. Equal say, equal effort, equal everything."

"I know that now," Willow said. "I'm just glad you're okay. God, when I thought Glory was coming after you, I was terrified."

"It was a terrifying experience," Tara said. "At first, I couldn't move. I was so scared."

Tara shifted in the bed a little and a wave of pain caused her to cringe and close her eyes until it passed.

"Are you going to try healing again?" Willow asked. Tara shook her head.

"I need to wait a little longer," she said. Willow took her hand and squeezed it.

"You could use me," she offered. Tara opened her eyes and looked to Willow. "You could use my power to feed yours. If it'll help you heal."

Tara nodded her head and the two of them closed their eyes. She focused on one of her ribs, visualizing it in her mind's eye. She saw the break and saw the bone slowly melding back together. She could feel it as well. She could feel the bone shifting slightly.

"Oh my god, Tara."

Tara and Willow both opened their eyes when they heard Buffy's voice. She and Dawn had just arrived. They were both shocked by Tara's appearance.

"Are you okay?" Buffy asked. Then she shook her head. "Stupid question. Of course you're not."

"I'm fine," Tara said, wanting to reassure Dawn most of all. She saw the guilty look on Dawn's face and knew the younger Summers girl felt responsible for this. Because she was the key.

"Yeah, the pretty colors that the left side of your face turned really look fine," Dawn said sarcastically. "All because of me."

"No, Dawn, this isn't your fault," Buffy said, running her hand through Dawn's hair. She looked to Tara, who nodded her head.

"Buffy's right," Tara said. "And I'm going to be fine. I found out I can use my powers to heal faster."

"How?" Buffy asked.

"I'm drawing on the earth's energies to heal my injuries," Tara said. "I hope to be completely healed by morning. Well, except for my face. I won't heal that till I leave the hospital."

"Good idea," Buffy agreed. "Less conspicuous with the doctors."

"What about Glory?" Willow asked. "She doesn't know who the key is, but it looks like she's getting more aggressive about finding out."

"Giles is working on that minion guy to find out more information about Glory and how the whole key thing works," Buffy said. "That should give us a better idea about how to stop Glory. Hopefully."

"What do we do till then?" Willow asked.

"We wait," Buffy said. She pointed at Tara. "And you rest."

Tara smiled and nodded her head. She noticed the dejected look on Dawn's face and tried reassuring her again.

"Dawnie, I promise, I'll be okay," she said. "This isn't your fault."

Dawn just nodded her head. No matter how much they reassured her, it didn't change the way she felt. As long as Glory was looking for the key, all of them could end up like Tara, or worse. She couldn't accept that.


The next day, Tara was released from the hospital. She was a little behind schedule on her healing. She had taken care of her ribs, but her hand was only partially healed. It was a lot more tiring than she had first anticipated.

Dawn, Buffy and Willow all met her at the hospital. They went through all the doctor's little hoops for leaving. Tara pretended that her ribs still hurt and she let a nurse push her to the exit in a wheelchair. She took the prescription for pain medication from the doctor, even though she would never use it. Finally when the doctor and nurses were out of sight, she got out of the wheelchair and walked with the others to Xander's car, which Willow had borrowed. Then they went back to the Magic Box.

"Tara, how are you doing?" Giles asked.

"I'll be fine," she replied. She pointed at Glory's minion, who was still tied to one of the chairs. "Is he saying anything?"

"Quite a bit, actually," Anya said enthusiastically.

"He's told us about the ritual that Glory needs the key to perform. He also told us the time and the place that the ritual must take place," Giles said. "He's been quite helpful. The ritual is to take place tonight."

"If the ritual doesn't go at the right time, then Glory misses her chance," Xander continued with the explanation.

"So we just wait," Buffy said. "Glory doesn't know who the key is."

"Glorificus will find her key and when she does you will all suffer her wrath," the minion said.

Giles suddenly backhanded the minion. "I don't believe I told you to speak."

A crash got them all to look toward the front of the store. The main door to the shop had been knocked off its hinges and in the doorway stood Glory.

"Okay, I know you all have my key in stock here, and I've come to get it," she said. Buffy and Tara both stood and moved toward the front of the group. Dawn moved back away from the front of the store. Glory saw Tara and laughed. "You? You're looking a lot better than when I last saw you. What's your secret?"

"Splendiforous one!" the minion called. "The key it's the girl. The slayer's – "

The minion's sentence was interrupted as Giles jabbed a knife into it's throat. It gagged and sputtered for a moment, but it soon died. But the damage had been done.

"The girl? The slayer's…" Glory said, trying to figure it out. Then she smiled and looked back at Dawn. "The slayer's sister."

Everyone looked alarmed. Glory stepped forward and Tara and Buffy both charged toward her. Glory quickly flipped up the door she had knocked off and swung it, hitting both Buffy and Tara and sending them crashing through the display and into the shelves on the wall. Giles grabbed Dawn and pushed her toward the back door.

"Thicken!" Willow called, holding up her hand. The air in front of Glory thickened and held her back. Dawn, Anya and Xander were already in the training room, making their way to the back door. Giles and Willow didn't want to leave Buffy and Tara behind. They looked to the other end of the shop as Glory struggled against Willow's barrier. Buffy was starting to stand.

"You can't hide my key!" Glory shouted. Then she heard a car door out front. She turned to see that Dawn, Xander and Anya had made their way around the shop to Xander's car. The tires squealed as Xander rushed out. He hated leaving the others behind, but he knew keeping Dawn away from Glory was more important than all their lives put together. "Oh no you don't."

Buffy jumped in front of Glory and threw a few punches. The god quickly grabbed the slayer by the arms and tossed her aside, sending her crashing into Tara just as Tara was starting to pick herself up off the floor. Then Glory disappeared in a flash of speed. Buffy and Tara jumped and rushed out into the street after her. They looked to the right and saw Xander's car suddenly screech to a stop. They could see Glory standing in front of the car, holding the bumper as Xander pressed the gas to go in reverse. But he wasn't going anywhere. Then Glory flipped the car like she was flipping something in a frying pan, causing it to crash down on its roof.

"No!" Buffy yelled. She and Tara took off running. But by the time they got to the car, Glory had disappeared with Dawn. Tara knelt next to the passenger side to see Anya and Xander had fallen out of their seats and were lying unconscious on the inside of the upside-down car.

"Dawn," Buffy said. Then she fell to her knees. Willow and Giles caught up finally, shocked at the scene they found.

"Buffy, what are you doing?" Willow asked.

"Where's Dawn?" Giles asked.

"Glory got her," Tara said. She was checking Anya for a pulse and was relieved when she found one. "She was too fast."

"Buffy," Giles said. He knelt in front of his slayer while Willow and Tara attended to Xander and Anya. Buffy wasn't responding. She wasn't even looking at him. She was looking past him. "Buffy!"

"They're starting to come around," Tara said, referring to Xander and Anya. Xander groaned. Tara noticed that a crowd was starting to gather.

"Anybody get the number of that bus?" he asked jokingly.

"We're going to have to explain this to the police," Tara said. Willow looked around, finally noticing the crowd as well. She helped Xander get out of the car while Tara helped Anya.

"We so don't have time for that," Willow said. She looked over at Giles. "What's wrong with Buffy?"

"I don't know," Giles said worriedly. "I think she's snapped."

"But we need Buffy to fight Glory," Tara said. "We need her to get Dawn back."

Giles continued to look at Buffy, fear and worry on his face. "Unfortunately, we might not have Buffy anymore."


After they dealt with the police and had Anya and Xander's injuries treated, the group returned to the Magic Box, Giles carrying Buffy back to the small couch in the training room.

"How do we get Buffy back?" Anya asked as she started picking up things in the shop.

"There's something I can try," Willow said. "I've never done it before."

Tara knew what Willow was talking about. "Are you sure? I mean, you might get stuck in there with Buffy."

"Stuck in where?" Xander asked.

"I think I can enter Buffy's mind. That's where she's hiding. So I'm going to go in and find her," Willow explained.

"In the meantime, Glory's going to stick Dawn in a giant keyhole and give her a twist," Xander said sarcastically.

"Not yet," Giles said, returning from the training room. "The ritual doesn't take place until later tonight. Glory won't harm Dawn until then."

"That gives me time," Willow said.

"But when we get Buffy back, how do we get Dawn back?" Anya asked. "Glory's pretty unstoppable."

"The rest of us will be working on that while Willow is working on Buffy," Giles said. He turned to Willow. "You're sure you can do this?"

"Well, not entirely," Willow said nervously. "But it's our only option right now."

She gathered three candles and a lighter and turned toward the training room. Willow hesitated, took a deep breath and walked in, shutting the door behind her as she prepared to bring her best friend back.


Once Willow got Buffy back they all talked about the plan. The ritual was to bleed Dawn in order to open the portal. Once the ritual started, it wouldn't stop until Dawn was dead. Buffy wouldn't consider that an option and she made it clear to everyone. Spike had joined them all. As much as the others hated it, Buffy was right about Spike being necessary in the fight against Glory. Xander and Anya were in the basement looking for the Dagon sphere. Giles was going over his notes about the ritual. Buffy approached Willow and Tara.

"What's this spell you guys are working on?" she asked.

"We think we can take back from Glory what she's taken from her most recent victims," Willow explained. "Restore their minds."

"It might weaken her," Tara continued.

"Just her most recent victims?" Buffy asked. "What about the others?"

"Unfortunately, she's already used them up," Willow said. "It's like gasoline. Once her tank's empty she fills up."

"Only thing is both of us will be needed to perform the spell. It'll require a lot of power," Tara explained.

"It has to be said close to Glory," Willow continued.

"It'll weaken both of us for a little while. That takes me out of the fighting," Tara said.

"We'll deal with that," Buffy said. Giles called to Buffy, and she stood and started to walk away. "Whatever it takes to keep Glory away from Dawn."

Everyone continued their work, preparing for the big battle to come.


The group approached the construction site where Glory's minion had indicated the ritual would take place. They all stared in awe at the tower.

"Shpadoinkle!" Xander exclaimed.

"What is that?" Anya asked.

"The portal must open up there," Giles said.

Buffy turned to Willow and Tara. "You're up."

"Need anything?" Giles asked.

"Could use a little courage," Willow said nervously. Tara squeezed Willow's hand and the two of them made their way into the construction site, trying to find a secluded area that would be close to Glory. They found a partially built room that appeared to not get much traffic. They looked around nervously and then quickly set up. Then they began the spell.

They sat across from each other a candle burning between them. They joined hands and closed their eyes. They began chanting and blue energy ball formed between them over the candle. It swirled and grew larger as they chanted. Both of them began breathing heavily as they continued the spell. It was starting to drain them of their energy. But they kept going. Suddenly the blue energy ball disappeared, the two of them slumping to the ground, unconscious. They didn't see as blue streams of energy from Glory and transferred to three of her victims. They didn't see as the battle began. They didn't see as Doc snuck up the tower and began the ritual.

By the time they regained consciousness Glory was dead, but the damage had been done. A bolt of energy shot from the portal and struck between the two of them, cracking the ground. Willow nearly fell into the fissure that had formed, but rolled out of the way quickly. She and Tara crawled out to the open area together. Another bolt of energy struck nearby and they fell to their knees. They looked up at the tower, seeing what had happened.

"It's too late," Willow said. They looked over and saw Xander kneeling with an unconscious Anya in his arms. Spike was lying on the concrete. He appeared to be badly injured, with blood streaming down the side of his head. They couldn't see Giles, Buffy or Dawn. But they knew where Buffy and Dawn were. And Tara knew what Buffy was about to do.

Suddenly an idea struck Tara like an epiphany. She directed her thoughts to Buffy and kept her from going through with what she was about to do. Then she turned to Willow.

"I can stop this," Tara said. Willow looked confused. "I can absorb the energy and force it back through the portal."

"What? Absorb?" Willow asked. She shook her head, realizing what Tara was talking about. "No, it'll kill you."

"Maybe not," Tara said. Another bolt of energy struck the ground. "If I don't, we'll all die. I know I can do this."

"Tara, no," Willow said, her eyes welling with tears. Tara gently brought her hands up and held Willow's face in them.

"I love you," she said. She carefully pulled Willow forward and kissed her passionately. Then she stood and ran for the tower, racing up the stairs as fast as she could. She forced herself not to look back. She knew if she saw Willow sobbing she couldn't go through with it.

"Buffy!" Tara called as she made her way to the top. Buffy and Dawn were just standing there. They weren't sure why they weren't moving. Buffy had been about to jump off the tower to close the portal.

"Tara, what's going on?" Buffy asked. "What are you doing up here?"

"I can close the portal," Tara asked. "You two have to go. Now."

"But it has to have the blood," Dawn said, confused.

"I don't think it does," Tara said. Buffy looked worried.

"Tara, are you sure. If you're not – "

"I'm sure!" Tara shouted as another bolt of energy shot from the portal. The tower shook and they all struggled to keep their balance. "Go!"

Dawn and Buffy hesitated, but finally they made their way down the stairs quickly. Tara turned and walked over to the hole in the platform over the portal. She held her hands over the hole, like she was warming them over a fire, and then she closed her eyes. Soon all the energy bolts that had been shooting out of the portal started shooting toward her. The first one caused her to stagger a little bit, but she held her position. She ignored the pain as she continued to concentrate on taking it all in. The burning was unbelievable, but she didn't stop. She knew she could do this. She knew she was meant to do this.

Down in the construction site, Buffy and Dawn made it to the bottom, running away from the tower just as the ground began to shake. Everyone started to gather at one spot, looking up at the tower. They could see Tara standing up there, silhouetted by the light from the portal. Bursts of energy were shooting into her sharply. Soon pieces of the tower started to fall off. The earth quaked harder.

"That thing's gonna come down," Spike said as he half-staggered, half-crawled over to the group. Xander was carrying Anya in his arms, struggling to keep his balance.

"No," Willow said. She started to move toward the tower, but Giles grabbed her.

"Willow, no. Spike's right," he said, struggling with Willow. "We have to get out of here." Willow continued to struggle against him and he shouted to her over the rumbling of the earth and the noise of the portal. "Would Tara want you to get crushed when that tower comes down?"

Tara was oblivious as the others made their way to a safe distance. The pain was excruciating now, but she kept going. Finally she could feel as the portal started to collapse. She could feel the energy being sucked back through to where it belonged. The earth still quaked below her. The tower was shaking violently. But she didn't notice. Soon, there was nothing.

"Tara!" Willow screamed as they all watched the portal close and the tower collapse. She struggled against Giles and Buffy who were holding her back for her own safety. Finally, once the dust had settled, they let her go. Giles followed her and the others slowly made their way back toward where the tower had stood. Spike stayed behind in the shade when he saw that the sun was rising.

"Tara!" Willow called. She moved toward the steel wreckage, trying to find Tara. She couldn't see her anywhere. "Tara! Oh god, baby, where are you?"

Giles moved forward and rested his hand gently on Willow's shoulder. She turned, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Where is she? She's not here. Giles."

"The energy was too much for her," he speculated. "It was too much to leave behind a body."

"No, no, no!" Willow cried. Giles wrapped his arms around her, feeling sympathy for her and sorrow at the loss of Tara. For several minutes, the only sound in the construction site was the sound of Willow's sobbing.

All her life, Tara had never felt she had a purpose, not until she met Willow. Willow had been her purpose, her life, for over a year. She had found strength and comfort and trust and love. But in the split second that she saw that portal above her, she knew she had a new purpose. She had found her reason for being there, her reason for meeting all these people, and even though she didn't want to leave Willow, in the one year they had been together, they had loved each other enough for all eternity. Tara had known that whether she survived this night or not, she and Willow would be together forever. She would live on because Willow would live on. The world would live on because of her. Because of one, single, demon girl.

The End

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