Somewhere I Belong by Talula

Rating: PG
Disclaimer: All characters of Buffy the Vampire Slayer are the property of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy Productions. I do this for fun, not for profit.
Distribution: The Mystic Muse: http://mysticmuse.net
The End: http://www.asifyousaw.com/fiction/
Anywhere, but ask first
Feedback: Yes please.
Spoilers: Season 6.
Author's Note: This fic is set somewhere in the beginning of season 7. The new high school is getting ready to open. None of The First/Spike stuff has happened yet. The part that will be confusing at first is that Tara is alive. Willow and Tara are still together and they're both still going to UC Sunnydale. You'll catch on as the story continues. I promise it will all make sense eventually.
Pairing: Willow/Tara

Summary: Tara's guilt over the loss of all the Warrens in the world leads her to make a difficult decision while Willow's in England.

Buffy, Tara and Willow walked along past Restfield Cemetery on patrol. Buffy smiled at Willow who was happily enjoying a grape Tootsie Pop.

"You know, Will, patrol isn't quite as patrol-y when one of the patrollers is sucking on a lollipop like a little kid," Buffy said with a smile.

"It says, 'Look, I'm not scared of you. I'm enjoying my lollipop. Evil be damned,'" she said. Willow nodded her head in agreement.

"Actually, those sticks are made out of cardboard, not wood," Buffy said. "Now if you had a popsicle, I could probably manage with that."

"Well, cardboard is paper and paper is made from trees, so technically it is wood," Willow said, defending her lollipop weaponry. But as she chewed the center of the sucker off, the stick bent. "Although, not very sturdy."

"Not that I mind the company, but why did you guys come on patrol with me?" Buffy asked. They walked through the gates of the cemetery and made their way through the tombstones.

"Well, I thought it could be like old times when you first got to Sunnydale, and we would go on patrol with you," Willow said. Then she glanced at Tara. "Except that Tara wasn't here then, but still…"

"It's just that it's been so quiet lately," Willow replied. "Three years ago I would've said, 'Yay, quiet.' But now I'm just kinda bored."

"Uh…boredom cured," Tara said, pointing off to their left. At the grave of Michael Montgomery an arm punched through the soil and was soon followed by the other arm and soon a vampire face emerged and caught sight of them.

"You guys stay back. Slaying is a spectator sport for you two," Buffy said, pulling a stake out of her jacket. Willow and Tara obediently stayed where they were as Buffy approached the vampire.

"Hey, Mike, you're really selfish you know," Buffy said. The vampire looked at her, confused. "I mean, here people are, trying to mourn you and you come back from the dead, making it impossible to move on. Why do you gotta do that?"

He growled and charged at her, but she easily deflected him off to her left to the ground. He quickly jumped up and turned, ready to charge again. This time he raised his arm to take a swing at her. She grabbed his arm and flipped the vampire over her shoulder. He did a somersault and then did a spin-kick, catching her in the stomach and sending her stumbling backward into Tara and Willow. The three of them fell to the ground, Tara striking her head on a nearby tombstone.

Buffy flipped up onto her feet and did a flying kick, striking the vampire onto his back. She glanced behind her and saw Willow helping Tara sit up and knew she had to finish this quickly. The vampire stood up and before he even had a chance to react, she staked him and he turned to dust. Buffy pocketed her stake and turned back to her friends.

"I-I think so," Tara said, cringing and holding a hand to her forehead as Willow helped her up.

"The cut doesn't look that deep," Willow said. She wrapped her arm around Tara's waist. "Okay, I'm not bored anymore. I think we're gonna go home now."

"I'll go with you, make sure you get back safe," Buffy said. "I was going to call it a night soon anyway."

"So, this is patrolling?" Tara asked. She tentatively touched the cut on her forehead with her fingertips. "I think I'll stay home next time and let the demons come to me."

Buffy poured herself and Dawn juice. The two of them looked up when Tara walked into the kitchen.

"Good morning, sunshine," Dawn said with a smile. Tara just nodded her head and sat on a stool by the kitchen island. "Or cloudy with a chance of showers."

"Sorry," Buffy said, hating the fact that she was the Slayer got another friend hurt.

"It's not that bad. Hazards of living in Sunnydale," Tara said with a smile, trying to shrug off the throbbing in her head. She was the only one who knew her head injury wasn't the cause of her headache. The head injury truly wasn't that bad. It just gave her something to tell them, an excuse to be cranky because of her headache.

"Are you still going to class today? Maybe you should sit today out," Buffy commented. She started pulling out food from the refrigerator for her lunch.

"If I have a headache, can I skip class?" Dawn asked. Tara smiled and Buffy gave Dawn a stern look.

"I'm still going to class. My luck requires that the professors give pop quizzes on days I skip class," Tara said. She stood and poured a cup of coffee. Willow joined them then. She was showered, dressed and ready for the day. She smiled and wrapped her arms around Tara from behind.

"A little," Tara lied. She turned her head and kissed Willow briefly before pulling away. She glanced at her watch. "We better get to campus. We're gonna be late for class."

Once Willow was gone, Buffy turned back to Tara. "Hey, are you sure you're okay?" she asked. "You seem kind of…I don't know…wigged."

Dawn and Buffy were both looking at her with concern, waiting for some kind of explanation. She couldn't tell them the truth, not yet. "I-I just didn't sleep well. I'll be okay."

Tara quickly finished her coffee as Willow returned with their bags. "You ready?" Willow asked. Tara nodded her head.

"See you guys later," Buffy said. She had a feeling Tara wasn't telling the whole truth. There was something about the look in her eyes. There was more bothering Tara than her head wound.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when Buffy said her name. She had hoped nobody would be home when she got there. But Buffy and Xander were both sitting in the living room. She tried to act casual, but she had a feeling she wasn't doing a good job of it.

"I wanted to ask you the same thing," Buffy said. The two of them stood and approached Tara in the foyer. "That stutter usually means you're hiding something. That's something you might want to work on."

"We're just concerned, Tara," Buffy said. Tara stopped on the first step. "Willow may be bizarrely oblivious to it, but you've been acting weird lately. Even before your head became intimate friends with Mabel Henderson's tombstone."

"And the last time you were hiding something, it involved demons going invisible," Xander said. Tara sighed and sat on the steps. Buffy sat next to her and Xander stood, leaning on the railing.

"You don't have to worry about that," Tara said. "That won't happen again. I just…" She looked at them and they were watching her intently, waiting for an explanation. "The headache I had this morning…still have…it wasn't because of last night. I've been having headaches almost constantly for the past week or so. I was actually just coming back from the doctor's office."

"Is something wrong?" Buffy said, a slight panic entering her voice. "Because my mom…it started with headaches."

"No, it's not that. The doctor said I'm perfectly healthy," she said. "He said the only other explanation is stress, except that my blood pressure is normal, so I don't appear like I'm stressed."

"You think it's magic, don't you?" Buffy asked, already knowing the answer. "Who would do this to you? I mean, you're probably the only person out of all of us that doesn't have any enemies."

"Well, there was this girl in my 19th century literature course that gave me this look," Tara said jokingly. "But I think she thought I was somebody else."

"Seriously, Tara, we can help you find out what's going on," Buffy said. "If there's a demon or some evil witch involved…"

"No, it's okay," Tara interrupted. "I'll work on it on my own. It's probably nothing major. They might just go away on their own."

"Yeah, I am," Tara said. She stood, ready to head upstairs. "If I need help, I promise I'll let you know."

"What about Willow? You've gotta tell her," Xander said. "Sooner or later she'll figure out that something's wrong."

"I don't want her to worry. I mean, her birthday's tomorrow, and with the possibility of magic being involved it would be better if I know exactly what's going on before telling her," Tara said. She looked to them pleadingly. "Please don't tell her."

"Okay," Buffy said, knowing what it's like to have to work things out on your own. Tara nodded her head and went upstairs.

"No. Not that," he said, looking to Buffy in a panic. "I forgot Willow's birthday!"

"You? Forgot Willow's birthday?" Buffy asked. Xander nodded his head. "How long have you known her? And we're having a party, which we told you about two weeks ago. You helped us pick up the party supplies."

"Not to worry," Buffy said. She put on her jacket and took Xander by the arm. "You are in luck. I am not only the slayer of vampires and other hideous creatures. I am also the slayer of shopping. We'll find Willow a present in record time."

"You promise?" Xander asked as they headed out the door. Buffy continued to assure Xander of her shopping skills, putting her concern for Tara on the backburner...for now.

The glow of the computer screen lit up her face as she scrolled through the webpages. So far Tara hadn't found much about her headaches. Her main angle of research was curses, but nothing matched her problem close enough. There was a spell that looked promising. It helped track curses. But she wasn't even sure if that would work, and it wasn't exactly the safest spell in the world, either.

She paused for a moment as a sharp pain blurred her vision. She closed her eyes and leaned on her right hand, waiting for the pain to pass. It didn't pass but it lessened enough for her to go to the kitchen for a glass of water. She looked up when Buffy walked in through the back door.

"You're up late," Buffy said in surprise. She set her bag on the kitchen island and leaned against the counter. She glanced at the clock, which read 12:23 am.

"Yeah, but I'm a night person considering I slay creatures of the night," Buffy said. She noticed Tara wincing in pain. "You're researching?"

Tara nodded her head, but then the look of pain on her face worsened. She put both hands to her head. Buffy stepped forward and caught Tara just as her knees buckled. The young witch groaned in pain as Buffy eased her to the floor. As far as Buffy could tell, Tara was oblivious to her presence.

Images ran through her mind, faster than she could comprehend them. She knew she saw blood and destruction. The pain was so intense that it reminded her of when Glory fed off her mind. That pain was intense as well. Searing. Burning. After a moment there was nothing else but the pain.

Slowly Buffy's voice broke through. She was saying her name. "Tara? Tara?" And slowly the pain faded back to the dull throbbing. Tara hadn't even realized she had been holding her breath until she drew in a long, ragged breath. Finally she opened her eyes and saw the worried eyes of Buffy.

"On a scale of 1 to 10 that looked like it registered a 500 in the pain department," Buffy said. "This is getting out of hand. You have to let us help you, and you have to tell Willow."

"No," Tara said, shaking her head as Buffy helped her stand. She sat on a nearby stool, trembling.

"You're shaking like a leaf in a tornado. It's obvious things are getting worse," Buffy said. "Maybe Willow can help."

"There's a spell that I think I can do," Tara said, ignoring the mention of Willow. "It helps to track and dispel curses."

"It's the only thing I can think of." She stood carefully and headed back to the computer in the dining room with Buffy following her. "I'm going to try it tomorrow."

"Promise me that if the spell doesn't work you'll let the rest of us help, including Willow," Buffy said sternly. She waited and finally Tara made eye contact with her.

"I promise," Tara said quietly. She quickly cleared up her research. Buffy didn't look like she believed her. "I promise."

Buffy watched Tara put away everything before they both headed upstairs to go to bed. They were both silently hoping that this would all end tomorrow.

Anya turned off Jerry Springer when a knock came at the door. She rose, annoyed that someone would disturb her without calling to announce them first. But when she opened the door she was surprised at who she saw.

"Tara? What are you doing here?" she asked abruptly and somewhat rudely. Tara was taken aback and Anya realized it. She stepped aside and forced a more welcoming tone. "I mean, would you like to come in?"

Tara nodded her head and stepped through the doorway, waiting for Anya to close the door behind them.

"I-I'm sorry I didn't call first, but I really didn't know who else to go to," Tara said. She truly had chosen Anya as a last resort. There was no one else she knew who could help her with what she needed to do.

"Well, you're not here for vengeance. Not a drop of rage in you," Anya said nonchalantly.

"Why don't you have Willow help you? I thought that was why you two were together in the first place," Anya said. She flopped down on her sofa and Tara just stood in the middle of the living room holding her bag in both hands.

"No, I can't ask Willow," she said. "She's been clean for months. I can't ask her to do magic until I'm sure of what's going on."

"What do you mean?" Anya asked, dropping the remote back to the sofa. She was about to turn Jerry Springer back on, but realized humans would find that rude.

"I've been having these…headaches," she began to explain. She sat on the opposite end of the sofa from Anya. "They're not normal headaches. I can tell they're magical. I can feel an imbalance in reality. Something's not right. I need to figure out what it is and fix it."

"I need a secondary, an anchor," Tara said. She pulled a book out of her bag and opened it. "This spell requires a lot of power. There's no way I can do it by myself. It would kill me if I tried, drain me of all my power."

"Is it going to do that to me?" Anya asked. She was worried about that little detail. Granted she was a demon again, so she had more power than she did a year ago, but draining of any power was not something she looked forward to.

"No, not really," Tara replied. She looked at her notes in the book she was holding. "I reworked the spell a little bit. I'm the primary, so it taps into my energy first. Then if I get low, it'll go to you. It shouldn't take too much. At the most you'll probably feel dizzy."

"What about you? What will you feel when the spell's over?" Anya asked. Her demon side hated that she had any concern for Tara right now. It hated that she even allowed Tara into the apartment. But her human side was winning over a lot more when it came to dealing with humans. A few years as a human and it was still dominant.

"I'll be very weak. Tired," she replied. "I'll need a lot of rest after it's complete."

"What if you're wrong and my being the second doesn't work? What if it kills you anyway?" Then another thought crossed her mind. "If you die, they'll blame me."

Tara hesitated and then looked Anya in the eyes. "They won't blame you because it won't kill me," she said as confidently as she could. "Will you help me? It may take several hours."

Anya sighed and shrugged her shoulders. "I don't have anything else to do. You made me miss the end of Jerry Springer."

"Okay, I'll help," she said. She pasted her classic smile on her face. "Could be fun."

Tara couldn't help but smile. She had always enjoyed Anya's ability to bounce from one emotion to another in the blink of an eye. It was something Willow was quite good at as well.

It took a moment to get everything set up, but after a few minutes the two of them sat cross-legged across from each other within a circle of candles. In the center between them was a square piece of fabric about a foot long on each side. Drawn on it in black fabric paint were several ancient rune symbols. Tara held out her hands and Anya took them. Then they both closed their eyes as Tara began chanting in latin. Soon her voice faded away.

Memories flashed through Tara's mind. Things she recalled. Events that happened. A flash and she's singing to Willow oblivious of the fact that Willow had tampered with her mind. A flash and they're in the sewers, none of them remembering anything about themselves or each other. A flash and she's moving out, leaving Willow. Betrayed. A flash and she's taking Willow back, not able to stand being without her. Then it starts to change. The next day.

Flash. Gunshots. Cracks. Burning in her chest. Extreme pain that slowly fades into darkness.

Flash. More pain. Warren's pain as Willow slowly forces a bullet into his chest. Then sudden pain that changes to oblivion as she skins him alive.

Flash. Giles pain as he fights Willow. The pain of the world as Willow attempts to destroy it.

Then memories flash more quickly as she approaches the present day. Willow went to England and then returned, having learned to control herself and stop herself from using magic. And through all of those memories following the gunshots, Tara wasn't there.

The spell ended abruptly and their hands broke apart. Anya gasped and watched wide-eyed as Tara slumped over onto her side on the floor. She was trembling and whimpering, as if she were in pain. Anya looked around and realized that six hours had passed when it hadn't even felt like one.

"Tara? Are you okay?" Anya asked, ignoring the obvious fact that Tara wasn't okay.

"I should call Willow," Anya said, concerned that Tara had gotten in over her head. But the young witch shook her head 'no.'

"Not Willow. I…can't…" she said. Anya moved over to Tara and slowly helped her sit up. Then she helped her over to the couch. Luckily Anya had demon strength because Tara couldn't even hold herself up on her own two feet. She got Tara comfortable on the sofa and then looked to her questioningly.

"This world is wrong," Tara said. Her eyes closed then as the weakness overcame her and she lost consciousness. Anya picked up the phone, hoping that Willow didn't answer.

Willow tried to enjoy herself as her own birthday party commenced, full steam. But she couldn't help wondering where Tara was. Part of her was worried that something had happened. Part of her was mad that Tara was late. When the phone rang, she stood to answer it, but Buffy beat her to it. She watched as Buffy moved into the kitchen to get away from the noise.

"Anya, why are you calling?" Buffy asked, glancing over her shoulder to make sure nobody else heard her end of the conversation. Especially Xander. "Why is Tara over there?" Buffy listened as Anya explained everything. She looked back into the living room at Willow, concerned about keeping this secret. "Okay, Xander and I are coming over. Yeah, we'll make up an excuse for Willow."

When she returned to the living room Willow was waiting to find out who was on the phone, hoping it was Tara. So Buffy told Willow what she wanted to hear.

"Tara's really sorry she's late. She got stranded on campus," she said. She turned to Xander. "We'll go pick Tara up. It won't take long. You just keep enjoying your party, birthday girl."

Willow smiled, relieved that Tara was okay and that she hadn't intended on being late. The story was believable. "Okay. Hurry back."

Xander and Buffy walked out of the house and as soon as they were in the car, Buffy filled Xander in on what was going on.

Tara was no longer unconscious, but she was still lying down on the sofa. Buffy and Xander were shocked by how weak she looked. She almost looked moments away from death. Buffy sat on the edge of the sofa next to Tara and Xander stood nearby. Anya sat on a stool near the kitchen.

"Tara, what happened? What did the spell do to you?" Buffy asked, deeply concerned.

"Oh, she explained that to me," Anya said. "It drained her of all her power, her strength. She would have died if I hadn't been here. It only made me dizzy."

"She keeps saying that. Not much else. I think the spell weakened her brain too or something," Anya said.

"What do you mean you don't belong here?" Xander asked, ignoring Anya's comment. "Why don't you?"

"It's an alternate reality. Somebody conjured…or wished…I don't…" She paused, trying to compose her thoughts. "I'm supposed to be dead."

Nobody knew what to say. Buffy didn't want to accept that. She had come to truly despise the words dead and death. Especially when they were said in relation to people she cared about.

"It wasn't…meant for me," Tara replied. She attempted to push herself up into a sitting position. Buffy reached forward to help. She glanced warily at Buffy, knowing what she was about to say was definitely something Buffy would refuse to accept. "It was meant for you."

"Me?" Buffy asked. She leaned back and looked down at the floor. Another friend was in danger because of her.

"I don't know," Tara replied. She didn't know. She only had impressions. She didn't have all the facts. "He's a human. That's all I know."

"A human who wants me dead, but gets you instead," Buffy summarized. She stood, having made up her mind about what they should do. "Well, it's not gonna happen. We're going to find out who this Warren is and we're going to stop him."

"No," Tara shook her head. "It already happened, but not in this reality. You can't stop him."

"I'm still about finding this Warren guy," Xander said. "He sounds like somebody who's not playing with a full deck. He might not be killing you guys in this reality, but he could be killing other people."

"So we research Warren and alternate realities," Buffy said. "Anya, we're going to need to use the resources at the Magic Box."

Anya sighed in annoyance. "Fine, you can use the books in the shop. But if you need supplies you're paying for them."

"I don't wanna involve Willow," Tara objected. Buffy looked her in the eye, trying to be understanding.

"Tara, you promised. Besides, you look like a light breeze would blow you over," she said. "Willow will take one look at you and know something's up. And if you don't come back to the house, she'll know something's up. She has to be involved." Tara hesitated. "If you were Willow and she was you, wouldn't you want to be involved?"

Tara looked down and nodded her head. Buffy turned to Xander and Anya. "Anya, if you could get started at the Magic Box that would be a huge help. Xander and I are going to take Tara home and then we'll meet you."

Anya nodded her head. Xander stepped forward to help Tara off the couch but stopped when he noticed the look on her face. He rested a hand on her shoulder.

"Don't worry, Tara. I've known Will since the sandbox," Xander said. "A little research does her body good. As long as she's not doing or witnessing a spell, she'll stay on the Magic Anonymous wagon."

Xander and Buffy each took an arm and carefully helped Tara stand. Tara tried to think of what exactly to say to Willow as they made their way slowly out to the car.

Willow paced at the end of the bed where Tara sat. Buffy and Xander had left for the Magic Box, taking Dawn with them. Willow had been oddly calm when they had arrived back at the house. They all sensed that Willow and Tara needed to be alone for some major discussion. Willow was trying to control her anger. She hated that Tara had kept this secret from her. She knew she was still working on earning Tara's full trust, but she thought Tara trusted her enough to tell her about this. They never kept secrets, not since Willow had given up magic completely.

"Why didn't you tell me? I mean, I know you don't trust me completely yet, but I figured you'd tell me about life or death stuff. Like the part where you do a spell that almost causes your death. And you went to Anya for help? That's not just a lack of trust in me. That's like an insult to my intelligence."

"I just…I needed an anchor for the spell, and you can't…" Tara began, not sure what to say. She didn't trust Willow fully when it came to magic. She hated saying it or even thinking it, but it was the truth. But she knew now that she could have at least told her. Willow would understand the trust issue when it came to magic. Tara knew that. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you, but I didn't want to worry you."

"Did Buffy and Xander know you were doing this spell? Was everybody in the loop except me?"

"Buffy knew I was doing the spell, but she didn't know the side effects," Tara replied. "They knew that I thought the headaches I've been having were magical."

"So, who else knew? Did Danny down at the Espresso Pump know? Or are he and I in the same boat?"

"You're not in any boat. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I just had to be sure," Tara said. She started to try to stand to approach Willow and cringed as her knees started to give way. Willow moved over and caught her, moving her back toward the bed.

"You need to rest," Willow said, her concern only slightly evident in her voice. "We'll talk about this when you have your strength back. I'll figure out who Warren is."

She started to head out the bedroom door when Tara tried to stop her, "Willow, wait."

She left the room and Tara laid back on the bed, running her hands through her hair. She knew Willow wouldn't stay mad at her forever. She just had to do some apologizing once she got her strength back. Soon Willow was out of her head as she fell into a restless sleep filled with dreams of Warren and her own death.

Xander grabbed a couple books off the bookshelf and brought them over to the table in the Magic Box where Anya, Buffy and Dawn sat.

"So, Anya, you're alternate reality girl. Give us some pointers," he said as he sat next to Buffy.

"I'm not alternate reality girl. I'm vengeance girl," Anya said, slamming her book shut.

"But somebody wishes and it makes a different world, right?" Dawn asked. "Like when Cordelia wished for Buffy not to be in Sunnydale and it made that freaky world where there were vampires all over the place."

"It doesn't always make an alternate reality," Anya said. "The wish has to be big. Cordelia's wish was huge. I had no idea what kind of world that wish would create when I granted it."

"We're all assuming this world was caused by a wish," Buffy said. "We don't know that it was. It could have been anything. It could have been a demon or a spell…"

"None of us have even thought about Willow," Buffy said. She stood and shook her head. "Well, maybe we thought it, but we didn't wanna say it. We have no idea what Willow was like in the world Tara saw."

"And with Tara dead in that world, Willow casting a spell to bring her back is pretty likely," Dawn finished. "If Willow changed the world, would she know it?"

"Maybe, but not necessarily," Anya said. "Some spells allow you to remember what you've done, but some of them don't."

"Maybe we're jumping to conclusions here," Xander said. "I mean, we're just assuming it's Willow."

"Think about it, Xander," Buffy said. "If your soulmate was dead and you had the power to bring her back to life, wouldn't you?"

"Willow's definitely got the power," Anya muttered to herself, flipping a page in the book she was reading.

"If she'll even tell us the truth," Xander said. "Maybe we should look up spells that could do this before we talk to Willow. If we can't find a spell for it, maybe it wasn't her."

"Anya, can you ask around to some of your…friends or whatever?" Buffy asked. "Find out who's granted a big wish lately."

"If someone has granted one, I'm surprised I haven't heard about it by now," Anya said as she stood. "We like to brag. Especially on the big ones."

"Okay, spells 'r' us," Buffy said as she sat back down. "Whether Willow cast this spell or it was someone else, we've gotta figure it out."

He walked along the street, right past the Espresso Pump where two police officers were enjoying some coffee donuts. He knew they saw him, but they didn't make a move. He decided to test his theory. So he walked up to them.

"Officers," he said with a smile. They looked down at him, just like everybody did because everybody was taller than him. "My name's Jonathan Levinson. I just came back into town. I graduated from Sunnydale High." They didn't say anything. "So I just thought two upstanding police officers like you might be able to bring me up to speed on what's been going on in town for the past couple years. I've been in Mexico."

"Nothing much going on lately. It's been pretty quiet for about the past year," the older officer said. His name badge identified him as Officer Bill Mitchell. "A couple unsolved murders are about as big as we've had."

"Just the murders," the other officer said. He was Officer Mack Roberts. "In fact the new high school is reopening in a couple weeks. Big news."

"Wow. That's amazing," Jonathan said. "You know the old high school blew up at my graduation."

"Really?" Officer Mitchell asked. "That must have been quite a memorable experience for you."

Jonathan nodded his head and smiled. He was safe. It really had worked. He couldn't believe it. He wasn't a fugitive. As far as everyone was concerned he was the same unknown nerd he had always been. For the first time in his life he found being a nerd a very good thing.

"You take care, sir," Officer Roberts said. Jonathan waved and started walking down the street. As he walked past the Magic Box he didn't notice Buffy Summers and Xander Harris inside. He had found a new world and a second chance. Now he just had to figure out how he wanted to use it.

It was nearly midnight and Willow was still hard at work at her computer. She had been searching for hours, trying to find anything on anybody named Warren. So far she had found absolutely nothing. She had widened her search to go outside Sunnydale. As far as she could tell there was nobody with the first or last name of Warren in the entire state of California. That didn't make sense to her, but she was still searching. The name certainly existed, but it seemed like nobody used it. She looked up when she heard a noise.

"Hey," Tara said. She was standing in the doorway and leaning against the doorjamb.

"Pretty much. I mean, I'm walking and everything," she replied with a smile as she stepped forward. She felt her balance waver and she grabbed the back of a chair to support herself. "Well, I'm sorta walking. Not running yet."

Willow pushed the seat next to her out and Tara slowly made her way over to sit in it. She pointed to the computer.

"You're not having anymore headaches?" Willow asked. "Because you said there were headaches."

"They're gone. I think the headaches were trying to tell me…to get me to do that spell," Tara replied. "Once the memories…or whatever they were…once they were released the headaches ended."

"That's good then," Willow said. She looked back to her research on the computer.

"Absolutely none," she replied. "It's like the name Warren exists but for some reason nobody ever used it."

She continued to search on the computer, neither of them saying a word. Tara wasn't sure if she should try to apologize or not. She decided she might as well try.

"Willow, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I thought I could handle it," she said. "I didn't even know if I was right about the headaches being related to magic."

"You thought that if you told me, I would try the spell, more people would get hurt and I'd get addicted again," Willow said. "That's why you didn't tell me. You still don't trust me."

"I'd be lying if I said I trusted you completely," Tara said. "It's only been six months, Will."

"Six months where I haven't said one single spell or used incense or potions or even lit a candle, and believe me the candle thing is hard," Willow argued. "Haven't I proven myself to you? Or are you never going to trust me again?"

"How much time? A year? Ten years? Thirty?" Willow asked angrily. She stood and walked over by the window. She paused a moment and then looked back to Tara. "I love you, and I would never hurt you. Not now. Not after what happened before. You have to believe you can trust me."

"How do I know you didn't do this?" Tara asked, not even thinking before the words left her mouth. The look on Willow's face was one of pain, like Tara had just shoved a sword through her heart. "When I did that spell, I saw things. I saw my own death. I saw what you're capable of. I felt it. The pure rage as you skinned Warren alive. You were about to destroy the world. You nearly killed Giles. How do I know that you're not the one who changed things?"

Tears sprung in Willow's eyes and one escaped down her cheek. "I can't believe this. Are we right back where we started? Was there ever any point in getting back together?" Tara didn't say anything. Willow stepped forward and looked her in the eyes. "Don't you think that if I was capable of changing the world like this, I would've done it right after you were killed rather than going on a psycho-killing spree first?"

She waited for a response, but Tara said nothing. She didn't know what to say. Willow shook her head and wiped at her tears.

"I've gotta get out of here. I just…I can't do this," she said. She quickly turned, grabbed her jacket and left the house. Tara could do nothing but watch her leave.

Anya arrived back at the Magic Box and everyone could immediately she wasn't in the greatest of moods. They got the impression that she hadn't had much luck finding out if a fellow vengeance demon granted a wish recently.

"Okay, now I'm ticked off," she said. The others just looked at her and waited for an explanation. "Nobody would talk to me. I'm out of the loop. I even asked them to tell me about stupid wishes. The only person who said anything to me was Hallie, and she decided to give me nightmares by telling me about somebody who wished for a bunch of bunnies. Who wishes for bunnies? What kind of sick people are there in the world?"

"So, Anya, you didn't have any luck, huh?" Xander asked, breaking into the tirade.

"No," she said dejectedly. She went over behind the counter and opened the cash register. She was in a bad mood, and counting the money always cheered her up. "What about you three?"

"Uh, I've got a question," Dawn said, finally working up the nerve to ask. The others waited. "Why are we trying to find a way to get back to a reality where Tara's dead and Willow killed some guy? I personally think this one is a heck of a lot better."

"We're not necessarily trying to find a way back to it," Buffy said, although she knew she was probably lying. Even if this world was better, they couldn't pick and choose the world they lived in. Whoever wished or conjured this reality into existence was messing with forces that shouldn't be messed with. "Tara wanted to know what was causing her headaches, and she found out. Now she wants to make sure that changing the world into what it is now didn't have some huge negative side effects. I want to know, too."

"But how long are we going to look before we give up? I mean, we can't look forever," Dawn said. "Because I'm not real big on looking at all."

"We'll look until we've used every resource we've got," Buffy replied. "Then we'll have to work on forgetting that other reality existed."

"But why create this world? Why would Amy bring Tara back to life?" Buffy asked.

"She probably didn't," Anya said. "Whatever Amy did do probably just caused Tara to come back to life as a side effect."

"We need to talk to Tara. We need more details about what she saw while she was doing that spell," Buffy said. She, Dawn and Xander headed out of the Magic Box, leaving Anya to count her money.

Willow walked along the street, not really headed anywhere. Her mind was racing with thoughts. Doubt. Confusion. Anger. Disappointment. Maybe Tara was right in not trusting her. From the sound of things, she had gone insane in the other reality. She lost control and became a murderer. She could almost understand Tara's trust issues getting worse after seeing that. But she still didn't know what else she could do to make Tara understand that she had changed, that she wouldn't go that far and that she wouldn't use magic anymore.

Part of her was kicking herself for not seeing that something was wrong in the first place. She knew something had been wrong, but she ignored it. She played it off like she didn't know. She had been tip-toeing around Tara, making sure she didn't screw anything up. She didn't want to ruin what they had. But now neither of them trusted the other, and without trust they wouldn't last.

She was pulled out of her thoughts when she bumped into someone. She turned to apologize when the guy smiled. She couldn't tell entirely if it was a nervous smile or a happy smile.

She looked closely, taking a moment for her memory to put things together. It had been over a year since she had last seen him, after all. Then it struck her. She didn't smile. "Oh, Jonathan. Hi. I'm fine. I guess."

"You sure? You don't look fine," Jonathan observed. Willow was one of the few people who ever talked to him in high school. He couldn't help but exhibit some concern.

"Tara," Jonathan said quietly. He muttered under his breath, "Good, she's still alive."

His mutter wasn't quiet enough though. "She's still alive?" Willow repeated. "What are you talking about?"

"N-nothing. I just mean, you hang out with Buffy, and-and it's dangerous," Jonathan stammered, trying to cover.

"You know what's going on," Willow said in realization. "You know about the other reality. You know things have changed."

"Other reality?" Jonathan tried to play it innocent as he started backing away from Willow.

"Last time you messed with magic you made your own little fantasy world where we all worshipped you," Willow said, following him as he tried to walk away. "What'd you do this time?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said. He walked quicker but Willow kept up. Finally she grabbed his arm and pushed him up against the wall of a nearby building. He looked at her nervously. He hoped she wouldn't do to him what she did to Warren. He had heard about that. Not pretty.

"What did you do?" she asked sharply. He was relieved to see that there wasn't a whole lot of rage in the look on her face. She just wanted to get answers. He could handle that.

"Oh, not Buffy. She doesn't want to talk to me," Jonathan said as Willow dragged him by the arm back to Buffy's house. "Can't we just talk? I like talking to you. Or maybe if I could talk to Xander. He doesn't have any super powers, right?"

A beating heart, pounding like a rhythm to a fast song. Breath coming in gasps as she ran through the woods. Except she wasn't herself. She was someone else, someone very afraid and running for their life. It was night and she didn't know where she was running to or who she was running from. The danger felt very real and the terror she felt was a terror like no other. She had feared being killed before, but this wasn't just a fear of death. It was a fear of pain and torture. Death, in itself, is generally considered a fast thing. Conceptually, death is quick. The end. Final. Oblivion. But what she felt was the fear of someone so terrified that they didn't even care where they ended up, as long as it wasn't in the hands of the one who pursued them.

Suddenly she was restrained, bound magically by vines and tree limbs. She couldn't move and couldn't think. She saw her assailant then, and she knew who she was at the moment. She had never seen Willow like this before. Her hair was dark, her skin pale with veins becoming more and more prominent underneath. Her eyes were black pools of hatred. She was seeking vengeance and she found her prey.

When Willow spoke her words dripped with hatred. She spoke about what Warren had done, having shot and killed her soulmate. Then she opened her hand to reveal a bullet, a tiny piece of metal that could caused instant death.

This was a nightmare caused by what she had seen. Tara knew that. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't wake up. She didn't want to experience what was about to happen. She knew what happened and with the dream being so vivid, she had a feeling she wouldn't want to stick around in Warren's body much longer.

She couldn't speak, couldn't even scream as Willow slowly and telekinetically pushed the bullet into Warren's chest. The pain was horrible. It burned and she couldn't comprehend anything but pain. She wanted to beg for Willow to stop, but her mind couldn't form the words, let alone her mouth.

She could see Willow was tired of the torture. It was time to get what she wanted, the death of Warren.

Tara screamed and sat up, quickly inspecting her arms and touching her face to make sure her skin was still there. She looked around to get her bearings. She had fallen asleep on the sofa in the living room, waiting for Willow to come back. The nightmare left her trembling. It had felt so real. She could almost still feel the burning in her chest. She couldn't imagine the Willow she knew in this reality turning into the monster she had just seen in her nightmare. No matter what trust issues she was having with Willow, she couldn't accept the Willow she had just seen.

The sound of the front door opening got her attention and she stood, hoping Willow had come back.

"Will, is that you?" she asked. But the person who stepped into the foyer wasn't Willow.

"Hello, Tara," Amy said. She walked into the living room toward Tara. "I'm Amy. I don't think we met after Willow de-ratted me."

"Just this one," Amy said with a smirk. "And of course, you're all alone here, which makes this so much better."

"What are you talking about?" Tara asked. Amy chose to respond by backhanding Tara across the face, knocking her to the floor. Amy knelt next to her and grabbed Tara by throat with her left hand.

"You know, when I said the spell that created this world, I had hoped that fate would provide some other horrible death to you, even without Warren being here," Amy said. "But I find you all alive, and that makes me think fate has just given me a nice little bonus."

"Why? I don't even know you," Tara asked. She grabbed Amy's wrist and tried to pull her hand away from her throat, but she had a firm grasp.

"You'll find out the why eventually," Amy said. "But right now I think you want to sleep."

Amy's eyes glowed a greenish color briefly and Tara immediately fell asleep. Amy let her fall to the floor and smiled. "This'll be fun."

Xander, Dawn and Buffy returned to the house and went into the dining room. Willow's laptop was there, but Willow wasn't. Xander looked at the computer screen.

"I wonder where she's at," Dawn said. "I'd think she'd keep looking all night until she found something."

When Buffy came back downstairs, Dawn and Xander were sitting in the living room.

"Neither of them are up there," Buffy said, surprised that the two of them would leave without checking in.

"Yeah, we checked the kitchen and the back yard," Xander said. "They're not here."

"Maybe Willow actually did find out who Warren was and they went to confront him," Dawn suggested. Buffy shook her head.

"No, they would've called us first," she responded. Just then the front door opened. They spun around to see Willow walk in. She wasn't alone, but she wasn't with Tara. They were all shocked at who she had with her.

"Look who I bumped into," Willow said. She gave Jonathan a shove into the living room.

"It seems we're not the only ones who know that reality has changed," Willow replied.

"Oh god, Jonathan, you didn't do another spell did you?" Buffy asked. "Do I actually have to kick your ass this time? Because I'm tired of giving you lectures."

"No, please, don't kick my ass," Jonathan pleaded in his usual pathetic way. "I'll explain everything. I promise."

"Let's start with you telling us who Warren is," Xander said. "Why would he want Buffy dead?"

"Well, Warren, Andrew and I got together, and we were the Trio," Jonathan explained. "We were super villains."

The other four all looked at each other, and Buffy tried to hold back her laughter. "I'm sorry. Super villains?"

"Yeah, it was Warren's idea," Jonathan said. "Warren did robotics and stuff, I did magic and Andrew…well, he helped. But things got out of control. Warren killed his ex-girlfriend, and he got me to do a spell to make you think you killed her instead. That almost worked, but you eventually figured it out. Then he tried to shoot you. He got Tara instead. Andrew and I got arrested, but then we escaped and went to Mexico. We heard what Willow did to Warren and knew we couldn't stay in Sunnydale."

"So skip ahead to the part where you changed reality," Willow said, not wanting any explanation of her alternate self and what happened to Warren.

"I ran into Amy in Tijuana," Jonathan said. The others looked at each other, not liking the fact that Amy actually was involved. "We were in this bar, just talking, and I said something about how I wished Warren never even existed because then my life wouldn't suck so much. So she suggested a spell. She said a spell to erase Warren from history."

"But she didn't just erase that one Warren," Willow said. "When I was researching I couldn't find a single Warren in all history."

"She probably gained more power since the last time we saw her," Willow said. "She was seeing this guy, Rack. I went to him a few times before…" She paused for a moment. "He kind of sells power. He's a dealer."

"Okay, Will, where's Tara? We need to bring her up to speed and then we all need to find Amy," Buffy said. Willow looked confused.

"She's not upstairs?" she asked. Buffy shook her head. "Tara and I had an argument, and I went for a walk to clear my head. That's when I ran into Jonathan."

"No, I think she would wait here. She still wasn't up to full strength yet when I left," she replied.

"Um…" Jonathan interrupted their conversation. "Amy kind of mentioned when we were talking that she doesn't really like Tara at all. I think she used the phrase, 'I hate her with a fiery passion.'" He turned to Willow. "She said that Tara made you weak."

"Oh god," Willow said, suddenly fearing the worst. Buffy knew exactly what Willow was thinking. Warren didn't kill Tara in their reality so now Amy had a shot to do it herself.

"The power Rack gives you, it's not easy to control," Willow said. "Trust me. I'm the poster child for the phrase 'power corrupts.' If Amy got enough power from Rack to change reality, it's enough power to drive her to murder."

Buffy immediately went to her weapons trunk and pulled out the crossbow. She grabbed a short sword and handed it to Dawn. She handed a battle axe to Xander and a machete to Willow.

"Dawn, stay here and guard Jonathan," she said. Jonathan opened his mouth to protest but quickly shut it. Disagreeing with the slayer wasn't going to get him anywhere. "Xander, go to Amy's house. If you can convince Anya to go with you, take her along. Will, we're going to Rack's."

"Uh, what do I do if Amy's at the house? I like to think I can hold my own, but what if she turns me into a rat or something?" Xander asked.

"If Amy has Tara there and Tara's still alive, just wait," Buffy said. "If Will and I don't find her at Rack's we'll meet you. The second it looks like Amy's going to kill Tara, do whatever you can to hold her off till we get there."

Her eyes opened slowly and for a moment her vision was blurred. She tried to move her hands, but she quickly found that they were tied together behind her back. She was tied to a chair. Her vision started to clear and she saw she wasn't in Buffy's house anymore. There was one window in the room and the ceiling was composed of wooden rafters at an angle. If she had to guess, she would say she was in somebody's attic.

Amy's attic. She remembered now what had happened. Amy had used magic to put her to sleep. Amy had said that fate had given her a chance to kill her. Tara began struggling against the ropes that held her hands. She didn't want to stick around for whatever Amy was going to do.

"Now, now," she heard Amy's voice from behind her. "Struggling is just going to make things worse for you."

"No, I want to hurt you like this," Amy said. She stepped in front of Tara, a look of pure anger and hatred on her face. "You're the reason Willow turned me away. You made her weak. You've got her obeying your little rules because you can't handle that she's a more powerful witch than you."

"That's not the reason she gave up magic," Tara said, defending Willow and herself. "It was destroying her. She nearly got people she cared about killed. She wanted to change."

"She changed all right. Changed into your little lap dog," she said. She grabbed a steel dagger off a nearby table. "But not for long."

"What do you think Willow will do to you if you kill me?" Tara asked. "You know what she did to Warren. It doesn't matter that you were once her friend. It doesn't even matter that you've got all these powers. If you kill me, you're only killing yourself."

"You think I haven't thought of that?" She placed the tip of the blade under Tara's chin and moved close so their faces were only an inch apart. "I've got a spell to fix that. She'll forget all about you. Everybody will. Your death will mean nothing to them. Just another murder in Sunnydale. Damn demons."

"Maybe for you," Amy replied. "But that's enough talk. Let's find out what you fear."

Amy put the dagger back on the table and placed both of her hands on Tara's head. She closed her eyes as if she was meditating. Moments later her eyes opened.

"Well, of course, that should have been obvious," she said. She said a few words in latin and waved her hand in front of her face. Her form changed and Tara blinked, trying make the image she saw go away. It was an image from her nightmares that she never wanted to see again. Pale skin, veins and dark eyes.

"You'll never change who I am," she said. "The power is in me. All I'm doing is suppressing it."

"This isn't real," Tara said, closing her eyes and shaking her head. "This isn't real."

"You keep saying that," she said, leaning forward and supporting herself on the arms of the chair. "But this is the real Willow. You know the Willow you know is the result of a spell."

"Accept it," she said. "This is my true nature. To torture, kill and maim." She reached over and grabbed the dagger from the table. "So let's get on with that. Shall we?"

"I just want to get one thing clear here," Anya said. She and Xander walked onto the porch of Amy's house, and Xander tried the doorknob to find it unlocked. "I'm only doing this for Tara. She's the only one out of the lot of you that never talked down to me or treated me like an idiot. The rest of you looked down your noses. Like you're better than me. I don't think so."

"Okay, Anya. I get it," Xander said in a hushed tone as they entered the house. "We're trying to be stealthy here."

"Why? What are we going to do?" Anya asked. "She'll probably turn you into a toad."

"She won't turn me into a toad. We're going to make sure Tara's still alive, and then we're going to wait for Buffy," Xander explained.

"Wait for Buffy. Excellent plan," Anya said, snidely. "In the meantime, Amy turns you into a toad."

"Let's try upstairs. I think Willow said Amy liked to do her magic in the attic."

Willow and Buffy burst into Rack's place. A couple of those waiting for Rack recognized Buffy immediately and ran out. Willow pointed to the door that led to the back room and Buffy kicked it in. Rack looked less than pleased as he stopped what he was doing.

"Excuse me. I'm with a client," he said sharply. The client also recognized Buffy and ran out. But Rack wasn't looking at her. He was looking at Willow. "I had a feeling I'd see you again. Back for more?"

She and Buffy stepped further into the room. "I'm not here for that. I don't do that anymore."

"Name's Buffy, but I prefer to go by my nickname, The Slayer," she said. Rack smiled and sat on his sofa. "Girl named Amy is a client of yours. Has she been in lately?"

"Last week she came in for a major boost. Had a nice wad of cash. So I gave her a boost."

"The kind that will last for at least a month," Rack said. "Probably longer. She said she needed to rid the earth of some pests."

"I don't do much talking when my clients are in here," Rack said. He leaned back and stretched his arms out across the back of the sofa. "I don't really care about the details."

"Okay, she's not here. We've gotta meet up with Xander at her house," Willow said. They started to leave when Rack called after them.

"Willow," he said. She looked over her shoulder. "You know you're kidding yourself. You can't suppress your true nature forever."

"Come on, Willow. We've gotta go," Buffy said. She took Willow's arm and dragged her out of Rack's. They just had to hope that they would make it to Amy's in time.

Xander leaned with his ear pressed against the attic door. Anya waited impatiently behind him.

Suddenly a scream of pain caused them both to jump back away from the door. Xander grabbed his axe.

"We've gotta get in there. Stand back," he ordered. Then he swung the axe, the wood splintering as the axe struck it. He tried to pull it out, but it wouldn't budge. "What the…"

The door started to glow and then an unseen force threw Xander and Anya backward. They tumbled down the attic stairs and landed at the bottom in a tangled heap. They separated and looked up to see Buffy and Willow approaching them.

"They're in the attic," Xander said. He and Anya stood. "It sounds like she's hurting Tara, but we couldn't get in."

Another scream came from the attic and Buffy led them up the attic stairs. She didn't hesitate as she kicked the door in, giving Amy no time to magically attack. Except what they saw wasn't Amy. It was Willow. A scary, pale, veiny Willow.

Willow's gaze went immediately to Tara. She didn't have any visible physical injuries. But Willow of all people knew there was a lot of pain magic can cause that you can't see. The look on Tara's face was a look of extreme pain. She winced as Amy/Willow grabbed her hair and pulled backward, placing the dagger against her kneck.

"You know what, Amy," Buffy said. She quickly raised her crossbow, her arrow striking Amy in the right arm and causing her to drop the dagger. "I liked you better when you were a rat."

"You think you can stop me, Buffy?" Amy asked. She stood and moved away from Tara to the side of the attic. "What are you going to do? Kill me?"

"Amy, why are you doing this?" Willow asked. She moved over to Tara, who was slumped over in the chair, unconscious. She started to untie Tara's hands.

"Jonathan didn't tell you? He told you about everything else," Amy said. She quickly yanked the arrow out of her arm, cursing under her breath as she did.

Amy glared at them and Buffy moved forward, putting herself between the witch and her friends.

"They're holding you down, Willow," Amy said. "You and I. We have the real power. And you let them hold you down. You let her hold you down."

"You can die with all of them, Willow," Amy said, ignoring Buffy's comment. She held out her left hand and started chanting in latin.

"Oh no you don't," Buffy said. She moved to hit Amy with the butt of the crossbow but an invisible field threw her backward across the attic. Willow was sitting on the floor, holding Tara. She moved Tara over to Anya and stood. She approached Amy her left hand outstretched. She could feel the pressure of the magical shield as Amy continued chanting, the walls of the attic starting to blur and shift around them.

The house began to shake as Willow pressed against the shield, slowly pushing her hand through it. She had a look of fierce determination on her face, not losing eye contact with Amy. Finally she made it through and the shield dropped, her hand closing around Amy's kneck and squeezing firmly enough to interrupt the chanting and the shaking of the house. They held their gaze for a moment and then Willow quickly punched Amy, knocking her out.

"Couldn't have done it better myself," she said. "How'd you get through that force field?"

"It's all about emotional control," Willow said with a smile. Then she knelt down next to Tara.

"I think she's starting to wake up," Anya said. She was right. Tara's eyes opened slowly. At first she seemed disoriented, but then she looked at Willow and was frightened. She tried to scoot herself away, cringing in pain with every move.

"Tara, it's okay. It's me. It's Willow," she said. "I won't hurt you. See? No veins."

"Always your Willow," she replied with a smile. She moved forward and wrapped her arms around Tara, the two of them just holding each other, feeling safe. They remained like that for several minutes until finally they separated enough for Willow to help Tara stand. Xander moved over to assist when he saw Tara could barely stand.

"I don't know," Buffy said. She really didn't. "She's human. I can't just kill her."

"I can say the word 'no' in five languages," Xander said. "Which one would you like to hear?"

"Okay, Anya, please help Willow get Tara to the hospital," Buffy said. "Xander, we're tying Amy up and we're taking her home. We'll figure something out."

Several hours later the entire gang was assembled in the living room. Tara was resting on the couch, leaning against Willow. Amy was tied up to a chair with duct tape over her mouth. Buffy moved over to Amy and took an edge of the duct tape between her finger and thumb.

"Any chanting out of you and you'll get to know my fist very well," she said. "Understood?"

Amy glared at her and finally nodded her head. Buffy ripped the tape off quickly and stepped back.

"If there was, how would you know I wasn't tricking you?" Amy asked with a smirk.

"Willow and Tara may not have all those fancy store-bought powers that you have, but they're not stupid," Xander replied. "They know their way around spells."

"Hey, watch who you're calling a bitch, bitch," Dawn said sharply. "Can't we just turn her back into a rat?"

"Why?" Dawn asked. "I still don't get it. If we go to that world, Tara dies and Willow goes psycho. Why go back to that?"

"All those Warrens that ceased to exist never had a chance at life," Tara said. "I'm not sure if I could live with that."

"Uh…" They all looked over when Jonathan interrupted. "The world really hasn't changed much. There weren't very many great Warrens. I mean, Warren Beatty was kinda cool, but other than that…" He shrugged his shoulders.

"So, you just make all the decisions as usual, right Buffy? Nobody else gets a say," Dawn said angrily.

"No, I don't make the decision," Buffy replied. She turned toward the sofa. "Tara does."

"Me?" Tara asked, surprised by this. Like the others, she had become accustomed to Buffy leading the way and making the hard choices when it came to things like this.

"You have the most to lose," Buffy said. "So the choice should be yours. We reverse the spell, or we don't."

"I-I don't…" she trailed off, not sure what to say. She didn't want to die, but she couldn't help think about the Warrens that used to be in the world, even the one who killed her. Everyone just waited while she thought about. She looked to Willow, who looked very anxious. She could tell that Willow believed she would choose to reverse the spell. That's what she was leaning toward. But she had a second chance now.

"Well, if fate wants me dead…" she began. She was still arguing with herself about her decision. But finally she made up her mind. "…it'll have to kill me in this reality. Don't reverse the spell."

Willow breathed a very audible sigh of relief and smiled, taking Tara's hand in hers. She had been genuinely worried about Tara's choice.

"So that just leaves you," Buffy said, turning back to Amy. "What do we do with you?"

"Somehow I don't believe that," Willow said. She turned to the others. "Her powers can be bound. With the right spell, she won't even be able to float a pencil."

"No. The correct binding spell should strip her current powers and reject any new powers she tries to acquire," Willow explained.

"Okay, enough talk time for you," Buffy said. She replaced the piece of duct tape over Amy's mouth. The witch struggled against the ropes holding her but had no luck.

"Yeah," Willow said. "I mean, we should wait till Tara's had some time to rest and then she can do it."

Tara held eye contact with her and looked at her seriously. "I trust you. If you trust yourself."

"You did do a pretty good job breaking down Amy's shield," Xander said. "You were totally in control."

"Uh, okay," Willow said nervously. "We don't have any supplies in the house so…"

Anya stood. "You have money, right? Because I'm not letting you in for supplies unless you have money."

"Yes, Anya. We have the almighty dollar," Xander said as he led them out the door.

The others were silent for a moment until Willow looked to Buffy. "Hey, I need to talk to Tara in private."

"Sure, no problem," Buffy replied. She turned and quickly backhanded Amy, knocking her unconscious. Buffy shrugged her shoulders and looked back to Willow. "It was easier than dragging her into the kitchen." Then she turned to Jonathan.

"Come on, let's get a drink, Jonathan," she said, placing her hand on his shoulder and guiding him toward the kitchen.

Once they were gone, Willow looked to Tara for an explanation. "What changed in the last few hours? I'm confused."

"As psycho as she is, Amy did have a point," Tara said. She saw the perplexed look on Willow's face and tried to make sure she worded it correctly. "Making you give up magic completely is like making…uh…like making Anya give up money."

"In the other world, when I died, you lost control completely," Tara explained. "You were fine, and then you snapped. Living in Sunnydale kind of shortens a person's lifespan." She paused for a moment. "If anything happens to me, I don't want you to turn into a murderer. I want you to be able to control the power within you so it will never control you."

"Well, this whole time, I've been keeping in touch with Giles, for advice on how to help you," she explained. "He knows this coven in England. I think they could really help."

"You want me to go to England?" Willow asked, not sure she was understanding where Tara was going with this.

"It's just a suggestion. It was actually Giles' idea. I wasn't really big on it at first. Lord knows I had a hard enough time staying away from you before when we didn't have an ocean between us," she said with a smirk.

"It's something you have to do without me. Giles mentioned something about the coven taking you on a vision quest or something. I don't remember all the details." Tara tried to read Willow's expression, but she wasn't sure about her reaction. "What do you think?"

Willow didn't respond for a moment, just mulling over the idea in her mind. "I want to have control. I don't want to be afraid to do a simple binding spell. I want to be sure that you can always trust me, and that I can always trust myself. But England?"

"It's up to you," Tara said. "I won't hold it against you if you don't go. You should take some time to think about it."

"Okay, I will. Think about it, I mean," Willow said. "England, huh? I've never even left the state, let alone the country. Have you ever?"

"Well, I grew up in a different state so I've got you beat there," Tara said with a smirk. "But I've never left the country."

"Maybe someday we could take a trip together," Willow suggested. "Someplace exotic. Or educational. Or snowy. Or romantic."

"Okay, if you go to England, I'll start planning our trip to the exotic, educational, romantic ski resort," Tara joked. She settled against Willow and closed her eyes. "Although I like it here."

Once the binding spell was complete, the group showed Amy the door. Very forcefully. Buffy shoved her out the door, causing her to stumble down the steps.

Amy stood and glared at them all before she walked away, shaking her head. Then Buffy turned to Jonathan.

"No more magic," he said. He started to walk out the door. "Absolutely. I was born a geek and I'll die a geek. No point in trying to change it."

"Well, as long as we're clear on that," Xander said sarcastically. Jonathan did a little shy wave and then jogged away in the opposite direction that Amy went. The gang turned to head back inside. Xander looked at his watch. "Okay, why didn't anybody tell me another whole day went by? It's six pm."

"Six pm?" Anya asked, suddenly panicked. She pushed out the door before Buffy shut it. "I missed a whole day of business."

"Why'd I let that one go?" Xander asked. "So, what do we do now? I'm used to the whole post-evil celebration. Anybody up for pizza?"

Buffy agreed. "You know, I didn't really slay anything, but I've still got that post-slay munchie thing going on."

"Will? Tara?" Xander asked. The two of them were standing near the bottom of the stairs. Willow had her arms wrapped around Tara's waist from behind.

"I'm not very hungry," Tara said. "Too much excitement. I need about a week's worth of sleep."

"Okay, we'll try to bring some back for ya in case you change your minds," Xander said. He led Buffy and Dawn out the door. Tara separated from Willow, shut the door and turned.

"Oh, no. Of course. I wasn't expecting that," Willow said. She took Tara's hand and led her to the couch. "Just more talking."

Once they were seated, they just sat in silence. Willow was still making sure what she was going to say was actually what she wanted to say. Part of her was still hesitant.

"I'm going to go to England," she said finally. Tara was somewhat surprised. "I should go."

"When I was doing that binding spell, even though it's so simple, I could still feel the power surging inside of me. It was potent and intoxicating," Willow said. She looked down guiltily. "Part of me wondered why I ever gave it up in the first place. But this power shouldn't be like an addiction. It should be a gift. It should be a skill that I have, not a vice. Hopefully, the coven in England can help me get to that point."

"I don't wanna lose you. Not because of magic or evil or anything," Willow said. "I have to know that magic will never break us apart ever again. I love you too much to let it happen."

Tara didn't say anything. She slowly leaned forward, placing her hand on the back of Willow's neck and gently pulling her toward her. She paused, just lingering for a moment with their lips nearly touching but not quite. Then they made contact, kissing softly, losing themselves in each other. All thoughts about magic and England left their minds. They were together now and they intended to be together for a long time.

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Somewhere I Belong

by Talula

Copyright © 2004

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