A Fluke Between Two Wiccans by SpikeMe4Now4200

Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: This Story is mine. However, I don't own the Buffyverse or any of the characters created by Joss Whedon et al; you all know who they are. I don't wish to harm them; I simply want to play with them a little :-)
Distribution: http://au.geocities.com/spikeme4now4200/index.html http://mysticmuse.net
Everywhere and anywhere, just let me know where.
Feedback: Yes Please!!!! I would really appreciate feedback on this story; I'll reply to anyone who emails me. Constructive criticisms are very welcomed; outright flames will be ignored.
Spoilers: It would help if you've seen season 3.
Author's Notes: We know Tara was born in 1980; and since Willow graduated in the class of '99; that would mean our blonde Wiccan was 18 going on 19 during that year. Theoretically that would make her old enough to be at college. Furthermore, since it was never established exactly when Tara started college, my storyline could technically have taken place... in my own mind anyway... <lol>
Special thanks goes to Chris Cook of Through the Looking Glass and Artemis for creating the title graphic at the top of the page. Thanks, Chris!
Pairing: Willow/Tara

Summary: What would have happened if Willow and Tara had met at the start of Tara's freshman year at UCSD?

When the girls finally reached the Red Oyster, Willow looked at Faith and then at Tara, and then at the long line in front of them. She couldn’t help but feel a little uneasy. There were a large number of men and women in their twenties, a lot of whom were dressed in leather and harbored various piercings and tattoos. The only one who looked like she belonged in a place like this was Faith.

What had she gotten herself into? She’d just been so eager to show Faith up. "Uh," Willow glanced nervously at Tara and pointed at the long line before them. "This could, uh…take a while. Maybe we should come back when it’s not so busy…"

Faith looked at Willow and chuckled. The girl wanted to chicken out. Well, that was fine with her, but if she was gonna bail, then she wasn’t gonna make it easy for her.

"No probs," Faith grinned and pointed up ahead at the bouncer. "Lenny’s on duty. He’s, a, uh…a close personal friend of mine," she chuckled. "He’ll let us straight in. Won’t even ask for ID’s. But if you wanna bail," she gave Willow a sly grin, "you’re welcome to leave. More fun for me and Blondie."

Once again, Willow was too angry with Faith to notice Tara’s disapproval. "No way," she met her challenge and slung her arm around Tara’s waist. She rested her hand against the girl’s hip and squeezed it gently.

Tara sighed but didn’t bother removing Willow’s hand. She was afraid if she pushed Willow away, it would further upset her. However, she wasn’t gonna be treated like a piece of meat either. And Willow was ‘this’ close to crossing the line of Tara’s acceptance threshold.

When they were finally inside the club, Faith looked at Willow and Tara and grinned.

"None for me," Tara instantly shook her head. After her and Willow’s brief experimentation with wine the other week, she’d decided to stay away from alcohol for a while. Besides, she wanted all her wits about her in a place like this.

"Maybe later," Willow looked at Tara and decided to follow the girl’s lead. She too wanted her wits about her. There were quite a number of shady looking people in the crowd before them and one of them was actually giving her the once over.

There was a petite dark-haired girl dressed in a leather mini skirt and halter top, wearing thigh high leather boots. She had spiky leather bracelets hugging her wrists, and there were small chains hanging out from under her halter top. Willow could only assume the chains were attached to the girl’s inevitable nipple piercings.

She gave the girl a weak smile, before turning her attention back to Tara. She looked up at her and noticed the bemused grin on her face.

"I see you’ve got an admirer," Tara chuckled and nodded her head towards the girl.

"Right," Faith grinned. "Hey you," she called the girl over with a wave of her hand.

Willow instantly turned to Faith and reached for the girl’s hand, lowering it down. "Stop that!" she exclaimed. "What are you doing? Oh my god," Willow sighed as the brunette got up and began walking towards them. "She’s actually coming over here…"

Faith ignored Willow gleefully. "Red here wanted to meet you," she said once the girl had joined them.

"Hey Red," the dyke ran her eyes over Willow’s form suggestively. "The name’s Ray," she placed a hand on Willow’s hip and firmly pressed her breasts against the girl’s arm. "As in Ray of sunshine," she grinned seductively.

Willow took a step back nervously and instinctively reached for the blonde next to her.

Faith stepped forward as Tara moved to place a hand around Willow’s shoulder protectively. She was playing a game here, and the next move was hers.

"My dance," she grasped Tara’s hand and dragged her off towards the dance floor.

"Faith!!!" Tara did her best to try and get free, but Faith was too strong for her. "Let me go," she protested as Faith continued to pull her forward.

"Relax," Faith insisted as they reached the dance floor. "She’s a big girl, she can take care of herself. Besides, you owe me a dance."

"How do you figure?" Tara stood her ground, refusing to move. She craned her neck to look over Faith’s shoulder. She was worried about Willow’s reaction, and also about this Ray character…

"You bailed on homecoming," Faith grinned, stepping left and right to block Tara’s view. "Besides, one dance won’t kill you. You’re precious Red will be just fine. What could happen to her in a crowded night club anyway?"

Tara sighed but didn’t stop trying to look for Willow. "Fine," she gave in eventually, "but just this one!"

She’d always liked dancing anyway, and she could tell Faith wasn’t gonna take no for an answer. Besides, it’s not like Willow would actually be interested in the slutty brunette…?

Meanwhile, Willow watched in frustration as Tara left with Faith. She moved to follow after them, but Ray stepped in front of her, blocking her path. "H-hey," Willow tried to step around her but Ray wouldn’t let her.

"I said let ‘em go," Ray reached out with her hands and pressed them against Willow’s shoulders.

"Wanna play rough eh?" Ray reached for Willow as she moved passed her, wrapping her arms around the girl’s waist.

Willow moved her hands to Ray’s in an attempt to get them off her, but stopped as she finally caught sight of Faith and Tara on the dance floor.

Faith had one arm around Tara’s hip while her right hand was laced with Tara’s left and held up in the air. She also had her thigh in between Tara’s and was seductively slithering in time to the music.

Ray noticed Red’s preoccupation, and quickly surmised the situation. "You see," she said into Red’s ear. "She doesn’t want you anyway. But I do…" With that, she gently bit Red’s earlobe.

Willow shuddered somewhat guiltily. Her earlobe was a very sensitive spot for her, and this stranger had no right forcing that kind of reaction. However, as she continued to watch Faith and Tara, her judgment began to get a little clouded. If Tara was gonna play, then so was she…

Turning around in Ray’s arms, Willow didn’t stop to think what her actions might entail. She could only think about one thing. As a girl on a mission, she was gonna need a little liquid encouragement.

Ray grinned in response. She loved it when she got her way. And she always got her way…

"Come on," she grasped Willow’s hand and pushed her way through the crowd to the bar. "Hey," she called out to the bartender, "two lemon Russians…and double ‘em."

Willow frowned as she took a seat on the barstool in front of her. She wasn’t sure about the double part.

"Relax," Ray said in reassurance as she took a seat next to her. "It’s only vodka."

Willow looked at the girl uncertainly. ‘It’ll be okay,’ she reassured herself. ‘You need it to compete with Faith. Tara’s never gonna fall in love with a boring ole geek who doesn’t have a wild bone in her body…’

Willow looked down as she picked up her glass. She stared at the pool of liquid in front of her for a moment, contemplating whether or not she was doing the right thing.

Looking up, she glanced towards the dance floor and felt her chest constrict. Why did Faith get to dance with Tara? She’d never danced like that with Tara. Not that she would ever rival Faith on the dance floor; with or without the aid of alcoholic exuberance…

With that thought, Willow downed the vodka in one shot. She might still dance like a white girl on egg shells, but at least now she wouldn’t care.

Feeling buzzed, Willow smiled and picked up the glass. ‘Why not?’ she thought to herself.

"There you are," Tara said breathlessly as Willow placed her empty glass on the bar. "Couldn’t see you from the dance floor."

"Hijacked," Tara chuckled as she gestured to where Faith was surrounded by three leather-clad blondes. "She seemed to draw their attention," Tara continued. "Not really my scene."

"Coulda fooled me," Willow mumbled sulkily. "Looked like you were having a good time."

Tara sighed in response, realizing the implications behind Willow’s words. "You’ve got it all wr – "

"Here," Ray pushed Tara aside as she set down two more lemon Russians. "Get that into ya," she instructed Willow, "and then you and I can have a go," she gestured towards Faith.

Willow looked up at Ray and then over the brunette’s shoulder to meet Tara’s gaze. She tried to read the girl’s expression but couldn’t make out if the blonde was annoyed or bemused. ‘Man, she’s not even jealous. Doesn’t she care? Well, of course not. Why would she when she can have Faith…?’

Turning her attention back to Ray, Willow smiled and picked up her glass. She chugged the vodka like it were a glass of water, downing not only her own drink but Ray’s as well.

Tara watched in surprise as Willow led Ray to the dance floor. Was Willow trying to make her jealous? Or was she actually interested in the dyke?

‘And how many drinks has she had? I knew it was a bad idea to come here…’

Willow had placed her arms around the brunette’s shoulders and was doing her best to move sensuously.

Tara held back a chuckle; the girl had no sense of rhythm whatsoever. She did look totally adorable though – bobbing up and down, wiggling her ass haphazardly while Ray just swayed slowly.

She was playing a dangerous game however. There was definitely a predatory look in Ray’s eye, and Tara could tell that the girl was waiting to make a move. And despite the ridiculousness of Willow’s movements, she was nevertheless eliciting heat.

What’s more, she wasn’t the only one who had noticed this. Faith had somehow branched away from her blonde threesome and was now shimmying behind Willow, her eyes locked with Ray’s.

Much to Tara’s surprise, Willow didn’t push Faith away. Instead, she seemed to draw courage from the Slayer’s presence and let go of Ray’s shoulders. She then began to copy the girls movements, alternating her attention from one brunette to the other.

In fact, Willow no longer looked ridiculously adorable. She was feeding off Ray and Faith’s energy, unconsciously forgetting to focus on her own moves and responding to theirs instead. And Tara couldn’t believe how sexy that made her look. There was so much heat being emitted by the threesome that Tara could almost taste it.

A second later Ray and Faith had locked lips, and Willow was shimmying herself down between them. However, when Willow moved back up and broke the pair’s kiss by placing her own lips against Faith’s, Tara stood up in disgust.

She couldn’t believe Willow had taken the game so far. And why was she letting Ray nibble on her earlobe? This wasn’t like Willow at all. What was she playing at? If her aim was to make her feel nauseous, then she’d succeeded in spades.

When Willow moved her lips over to Ray’s, Tara turned around and headed towards the back exit. She couldn’t watch any more.

Willow was too pre-occupied to notice the blonde’s exit. Faith on the other hand spied the girl’s movements and instantly broke away. Glancing to the side, she could see Red was in no state to acknowledge Tara’s reaction. Faith just hoped she hadn’t lost the only real friend she’d made in Sunnydale.

"Hey," Faith said tentatively as she took a seat on the bench next to Tara. "S’pose you’re kinda hating me right now, huh?"

Tara took a couple of deep breaths before meeting Faith’s gaze. In all actuality, a part of her did resent Faith.

"You k-k-kissed her," she accused softly. "You kissed Willow. Pressed your lips…your…"

Tara shuddered and closed her eyes. She was unable to even say the words as the scene replayed itself in her head. She knew Willow had just been acting out – mostly due to the alcohol in her system – but it still hurt. Besides, Willow wasn’t the only one with possessive tendencies.

"I am sorry, you know," Faith continued gently. "I got caught up in the moment. Red was dancing, and the dyke was calling me over, and the next thing I know – "

Faith sighed at the caustic tone in Tara’s voice. She’d never seen her act like that before. Not even after she’d knocked Red out.

"What do you want me to say?" Faith continued in exasperation. "I didn’t mean to hone in on your girl. But for what it’s worth, I wasn’t the only one she was heating it up with."

Tara sighed. "You started all this Faith. And you know it. If you hadn’t – "

"I never thought Red would react like that," Faith defended. "I just wanted to see how far I could take it. Get her to admit – "

Tara sighed again. "I know. And I don’t hate you Faith – not exactly. This whole situation’s gone way out of hand…and I guess it’s partly my fault too…"

Faith’s lips curled into an instant grin as she grasped Tara’s hand. She knew to quit while she was ahead. "Come on," she guided the blonde to her feet. "Now that we’re friends again, lets grab Red and get outta here. While she’s still able to walk. Don’t know how many drinks she’s had, but I’m still tasting the – "

As they neared the back entrance of the club, the girls paused in surprise. Tara could feel her nausea returning as she took in the sight before her. Willow’s eyes were closed, her mouth was half open, and she was pressed up against a wall as Ray’s lips made their way slowly down the length of her neck.

On closer inspection however, Faith suddenly got the feeling that something was amiss. Her Slayer instincts kicking in, she reached into her back pocket, and before Ray’s transformation was even half-complete, Willow had collapsed on the floor amidst a shower of ash.

Tara watched in stunned silence as Faith reached Willow’s side. "You okay Red?" Faith crinkled her brow as Willow leaned forward and proceeded to lose her lunch. "Reckon you could get us a glass of water?" Faith glanced up at Tara.

The Slayer’s request seemed to trigger Tara out of her stupor and she quickly ran inside. Returning a moment later, Tara paused. She couldn’t help but take in the scene before her.

Willow was doubled up and heaving as Faith patiently held her hair out of the way. This was a thoughtful side of the Slayer which Tara had never seen before. And any ill feelings she still had for the brunette were now completely replaced with gratitude. She’d almost lost Willow – again. If it hadn’t been for Faith…

Faith nodded and took the glass as Tara wrapped her fingers around Willow’s hair.

"You okay Sweetie?" Tara questioned after a while as Willow progressed towards dry heaving. "It’s okay," Tara soothed. "Let it all out. It’s okay."

"Mmmmngh," Willow groaned, not in any real pain, but still unable to form proper words.

"She’ll be ‘right," Faith extended the glass of water. "Drink this," she pressed the rim against Willow’s lips.

"Thanks," Tara said in Willow’s stead as the redhead pursed her lips and shook her head. "Come on Willow," she insisted. "You gotta drink."

"Sick," Willow shook her head again, which merely proceeded to make her feel dizzy. "Mngh," she lowered her head to her knees. "Hurts…"

Tara moved a hand down to caress Willow’s belly as she whispered into her ear. "Drink it for me Sweetie. Please…"

Reluctantly, Willow opened her lips and allowed Faith to tip the cold liquid into her mouth.

"There," Tara smiled when Willow had finally polished off the entire glass. "Feel better?"

Willow frowned, wondering why she had to move. She was quite comfortable right where she was. "Uhhh ahhh."

"Come on," Faith knelt down and motioned for Tara to let go. "Give her to me. I’ll carry her."

"Okay," Tara sighed as Faith lifted the redhead effortlessly. Willow instinctively laced her arms around the Slayer’s neck and rested her head against her shoulder.

Tara felt a sharp twinge of envy at the sight, wishing it was her arms carrying Willow home. She instantly forced the feeling down. She knew she should be grateful to Faith. It wasn’t her fault she didn’t have Slayer strength.

"You gonna be ‘right?" Faith asked, motioning towards Willow who was now curled up in a fetal position.

"Yeah," Tara nodded. "At least her parents aren’t home. I’ll stay with her – get her showered and make sure she keeps breathing through the night."

Faith chuckled. "No reason she shouldn’t. You worry too much. It’s the morning that’s gonna be a nightmare. Good thing there’s no school tomorrow."

"Well, I usually take some hair of the dog, but I don’t suppose the Rosenbergs have a lot of vodka lying about."

Faith smiled and leaned over to brush a quick kiss against Tara’s cheek. "No problem. I’ve been there, done that. Got new respect for Red now. Anyone who’s not afraid to get totally plastered and go crazy on the dance floor is all right in my book."

Tara shook her head in bemusement as Faith placed a parting kiss on Willow’s forehead.

"Take care Red. Later Cutie." And with that, Faith strode out through the French doors, and headed off for a bit of violence.

Tara looked down at Willow once the Slayer had left. "How are you feeling?" she took a seat next to her.

Willow let out a lazy smile. Now that the nausea had passed, she was free to enjoy the full state of her intoxication.

"Mmmm," her smile widened as she opened her eyes and came face to face with Tara. "Kisses," she sat up and moved to press her lips against the blonde.

Tara pulled back instantly, pressing her hands against Willow’s shoulders. "I don’t think so," she said gently.

"Always the right time," Willow smiled and attempted to stand up. However, no sooner had her feet touched the floor, when the dizziness hit her.

"Will," Tara frowned in concern as the redhead’s legs gave way beneath her. "Are you all right?" she kneeled down next to her friend and placed a hand on her shoulder.

Willow giggled at the girl’s touch and grasped Tara’s shoulders to help herself into a sitting position. "Better now," she said as her lips swooped down towards the blonde’s.

Tara pulled back with a sigh. "Willow," she said the girl’s name in reprimand. "Come on. We gotta get you cleaned up."

"Why?" Willow questioned as Tara helped her to her feet. "It’s more fun being dirty," she flirted.

"Come on," Tara insisted, guiding Willow towards the bathroom. She held the girl tight around the waist with one hand and wrapped her other around her shoulder.

"Shower," Tara said simply, tightening her hold as Willow lurched to the side suddenly.

Any other time, Tara would have laughed alongside Willow. However, she wasn’t exactly in a flirtatious mood right now.

"Willow," she rolled her eyes as she closed the bathroom door. "You’re drunk. You’re filthy. And the only reason we’ll both be wet is because I’m too afraid to leave you alone in the shower. Now, if you’re done acting like a child, help me get you out of these clothes."

Willow’s lips trembled into a pout as she looked at her friend. After a moment, the trembling turned into a sniffling and before Tara knew what was happening, Willow was sobbing like a toddler.

"You hate me," she cried into Tara’s shoulder. "Tara hates me. She hates me, she hates me, she hates meeeeeeeee."

"Oh gods," Tara rolled her eyes in exasperation. Gripping Willow tight around the waist, she moved her free hand to the girl’s neck. "I don’t hate you Sweetie. Really."

"I don’t hate you Will," Tara insisted, gently stroking the girl’s matted hair. "I’m upset with you. But I don’t hate you."

"Naah, aaah," Willow sobbed. "Tara hates me. She wants Faith. Not me. Tara hates me. She hates me, she hates me, she hates me."

Tara shook her head in utter frustration. There was no arguing with a drunk. And Willow was way past the stage of being pleasantly tipsy.

"Right" Tara confirmed with a smile. "You might not be my favorite person just at this moment, but I still love you."

This seemed to penetrate though Willow’s foggy mind and her lips curled into an instant grin. "You love me," she repeated. "Tara loves me. Tara loves Willow. Willow loves Tara. Love you, love you, love you."

Tara couldn’t help but chuckle as Willow engulfed her in a bear hug. The girl’s childlike behavior was adorable. Even if it did stem from a drunken haze.

"Love you, too," Tara replied. "Now, lets get you out of these clothes and into the shower."

Rolling her eyes, Tara nodded. "Yes. Now, take a seat," she said, lowering the toilet lid and guiding Willow down.

Before returning to Willow’s side, Tara stepped out of the bathroom to locate some fresh towels.

Putting on a no-nonsense expression, Tara lightly batted Willow’s hand away from her breasts. "Behave," she said as she dropped Willow’s blouse to the floor.

This seemed to incite Willow even more. "Behave," she mimicked the blonde, managing to work her hands under the girl’s top.

Before Tara could react, Willow had ripped the material from her chest, sending buttons flying all over the place.

Tara looked down wide-eyed , surprised and a little excited by the redhead’s force.

"I’m sorry," Willow said with a glint in her eye. She was unable to focus on anything but the lovely expanse of cleavage in front of her. Following her instincts, Willow reached for Tara’s bra and attempted to lower it away from her breasts.

With a slow exhalation of breath, Tara decided to let Willow have her way. She would need to humor the girl if she was ever gonna get the redhead cleaned up.

"Here," Tara moved her hands and unclasped her own bra. "This better?" she said as the material dropped to the floor.

Shuddering at the touch, Tara placed her own hands on top of Willow’s. "Later," she gently guided them down to her side. "It’s your turn now."

And with that, Tara deftly removed Willow’s cotton covering, before moving her hands to the girl’s jeans. "Now these."

Willow giggled and fidgeted as Tara lowered the denim down her hips. "Wet," she exclaimed.

"No, now," Willow insisted as Tara lowered her panties to the floor. "Tara makes Willow wet."

Tara exhaled sharply. There might not be anything sexual in her intentions, but she suddenly realized the extent of their intimacy. And Willow’s drunken honesty was not going to help matters.

With that, she stood up and kicked off her boots, doing her best not to look at Willow. She then lowered her own jeans and panties in one swoop, before heading towards the shower. With her back to the redhead, Tara experimented with the nozzles until the temperature was to her liking.

When she finally turned around, she forced herself to look only at Willow’s face. However, the expression she saw there was one of such hunger she momentarily forgot herself.

"Wow," Willow gasped, her eyes dropping from Tara’s breasts to the soft curls hiding her womanhood. "Tara…beautiful."

Tara couldn’t help but blush as she too found her eyes dropping downwards. "No," she whispered. "You’re beautiful."

Shaking her head, Tara forced herself out of her stupor. ‘Remember why you’re here,’ she reminded herself.

With that, Tara decisively reached the redhead’s side, her eye’s locked on the girl’s face. "Come on," she moved to help her friend up. "Into the shower."

"Shower," Willow nodded, shivering as her body met Tara’s. "Mmmmmmngh," she closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around the blonde’s neck.

Tara shuddered as well. She hadn’t been prepared for the shock of such intimacy. She could feel Willow’s every curve and crevice melding to her own, and it was all she could do to remain standing. ‘Must focus. Must focus. Must focus,’ she repeated to herself.

The chant worked, but only after a moment of self indulgence. As she guided Willow and herself into the warm spray, Tara let out another soft tremor. Being pressed naked against Willow was one thing, but add a dash of water and the experience became unbearable.

Nevertheless, she couldn’t let herself get distracted. Which is why stepped away from the redhead, even as she kept a hold of her for support.

Opening her eyes, Willow frowned at the loss. "Wet Tara," she pouted. "Nice. Want…nice…"

"Tara-breasts," Willow exclaimed as the blonde’s cleavage brushed up against her own. "I like Tara breasts," she emphasized her point by reaching for them.

Dropping the shampoo, Tara grasped the redhead’s hands and paused her movements. "Willow, Sweetie," Tara sighed. "If you let me wash your hair you can touch ‘em all you want, okay?" she plea bargained, hoping to get Willow to settle down for a bit. If she wasn’t careful, it would be so easy to succumb…

"But I wanna touch you now," Willow pouted, disentangling her hands and pressing them against Tara’s ass. "You feel so nice…soft…wet…slippery," she moved her hands in a circle with each word. "Do I make you wet?"

Closing her eyes, Tara shuddered at the question. "What do you think," she said as Willow’s fingers ventured between her legs.

"So wet," Willow’s smile turned into a frown as Tara stepped out of reach. "Wanna touch. Wanna feel how wet you are."

"Willow," Tara said firmly, taking both of the redhead’s hands and grasping them tightly. "Enough. Please. We can, um…play later. I promise. Now, lets just get your hair washed. Okay?"

"Ungh, uhh," Willow shook her head and tried to struggle out of Tara’s grasp. "You always say no. You never want me to touch you. Don’t you want me? I want you so badly. I think about you all the time…dream about you. But you always wanna stop. It’s not fair."

"I’m un-wantable," Willow sobbed, dropping her head to Tara’s shoulder. "You don’t want me. No one wants me. I’m not sexy enough. I’ll never be sexy enough. No one wants meeeeeeeee."

Realizing it was mostly the booze talking, Tara rolled her eyes and sighed. How was she to console a drunk Willow? Anything she said would either be taken as a sexual invitation or a rejection.

‘Not that things are that much different when Willow’s sober,’ Tara thought wryly.

Deciding to ignore the redhead’s sniveling, Tara bent down and retrieved the shampoo. As Willow continued to wail about her self-perceived undesirableness, Tara made quick work of cleaning the girl’s hair. She even managed to lather on a small amount of conditioner, before Willow eventually struggled out of her grasp.

"Of course I care," Tara sighed. "And I do want you. But there’s a time and place for everything."

"You want me?" Was all Willow’s mind managed to process. "Touch me," she insisted, grasping Tara’s hand and moving it to the source of her heat.

Tara firmly pulled her hand away and reached for the soap instead. "Like this?" she smirked as she lightly ran the bar down the length of Willow’s back. "You like that?"

Willow giggled. "Nice," she smiled, grasping Tara’s shoulders to support her weight. "More."

"Okay," Tara agreed, grateful for Willow’s short attention span. She then proceeded to make a game of washing up. Running the soap over Willow’s skin gently; teasing and tickling the redhead..

"Your turn," the redhead grinned a moment later as she took possession of the soap.

Deciding to indulge her drunk addled friend, Tara nodded and allowed Willow free access to her body.

However, as Willow’s hands slithered over her wet skin, Tara had to admit she was finding it extremely difficult to keep her mind focused. Which is why she reached for the shampoo and worked it through her hair, also applying a generous amount of conditioner.

When the redhead’s hands reached her cleavage, they seemed to linger there forever, forcing Tara to bring a halt to the proceedings.

"Willow," Tara sighed after what seemed like an eternity. "I do have other body parts, you know."

"I know," Willow grinned as she continued to run the soap over her generous peaks. "But I like these the best. They feel so good. Touch me Tara. Feel how wet I am."

"I think we’ve had enough touching for one night," Tara grasped the soap and placed it on its pedestal.

"I know," Tara smiled, increasing the pressure of the shower head. She then wrapped her arms around Willow and guided their bodies directly under the steady spray.

Willow couldn’t help but comply. Especially as Tara’s hands began to slither all over her skin. There was nothing she could do but close her eyes and return the favor – working her fingers over the blonde’s back, her ass, over her hips and up towards her chest, before reaching for her hair.

Once Tara felt they were thoroughly rinsed, the blonde wrapped a fresh towel around herself. She then began patting Willow dry, doing her best to keep the contact as clinical as possible. Which wasn’t easy with Willow squirming and giggling unrestrainedly. However, after a long struggle, the redhead was finally dry and wrapped up in a terry cloth robe.

Leaving her friend seated on the bed, Tara quickly located a robe for herself, before rummaging through the girl’s drawers for something to sleep in.

"You wanna put these on?" Tara held out a pair of panties as she returned to Willow.

She smiled fondly, as she took in the peaceful expression on her friend’s face. The girl had curled up in a ball like a little kitty cat and her soft steady breathing almost sounded like a gentle purr.

"Oh Willow," Tara sat down and placed a tender kiss against the redhead’s forehead. "What am I gonna do with you?" she whispered. "I love you so much…and yet you frustrate me more than anyone in my life."

With a sigh, Tara gently lifted the redhead’s robe and carefully slipped on the girl’s panties. She was extremely careful to keep her contact as brief as possible. A moment later, the blonde had expertly removed Willow’s robe and replaced it with a nightshirt. She then carefully joined the redhead, purposefully settling in behind her in a spooning position.

"Good night Willow," Tara whispered against the girl’s neck. "And just so you know, I do love you. Even if you did cross a line tonight."

Willow stirred slightly, but didn’t wake up. "Luv u Tar…" she mumbled groggily.

When Willow eventually managed to open her eyes, Tara had already been up for the better part of two hours. She was now sitting at the redhead’s desk, sipping a mocha and flipping through a magick book.

"Mnnngh," Willow groaned as the bright light of the sun penetrated through her curtains.

Putting down her book, Tara quickly reached the redhead’s side. "Morning," she smiled. "How’s your head?"

Willow opened her mouth to speak, but even that simple movement was too much to ask of her brain. With another groan she mumbled a sorrowful, "Onngh," in response.

Willow looked pleadingly at the blonde, silently asking for a reprieve. Even though she couldn’t remember much of what had transpired the previous night, she was nevertheless certain she had a lot to apologize for. However, before she could even attempt to remember her transgressions, she would need something to ease the pain.

Taking pity on the redhead, Tara stood up and returned a moment later with some Ibuprofen, a vitamin B capsule, and a glass of water.

"This should help," she placed the pills in Willow’s hand. "Drink," she prompted.

Wincing as she forced herself into a sitting position, Willow dutifully did as she was told. A moment later her head was still pounding, but at least her mouth wasn’t feeling quite so dry.

"You’re welcome," Tara replied gently. "Not that you deserve it," she added as an afterthought.

"A little," Willow replied sheepishly. "The last thing I remember is dragging Ray off to the dance floor. After that, everything else is a bit of a blur. Almost like a hazy dream or something. I don’t know what’s real and what isn’t."

"I…" Willow’s mouth gaped in wonderment. "I-I-I…I kissed Faith? I kissed Ray? What…?" she trailed off as brief flashes of memory began to bombard her senses. "Oooooh," she closed her eyes in despair. "I can’t believe I…oh my god Tara. I’m so sorry. I…"

Tara shook her head and sighed. "I figured you would be," she stood up and began to anxiously pace the room. She always did find standing up for herself a difficult task. And it would be so easy to let Willow off the hook. But for the sake of their relationship, she had to remain firm.

Willow frowned as a feeling of dread swept over her. Had she blown things with Tara for good?

"I know," she said in a very small voice, unable to meet Tara’s gaze. "And I don’t blame you for hating me. If you never wanna see me again…?"

"Oh Will," Tara relented and placed a tender hand on the girl’s shoulder. "I don’t hate you."

Willow felt as if a heavy weight had been lifted from her chest. "You don’t?" she gingerly met Tara’s gaze.

"I don’t," Tara replied with a reluctant smile. "But that doesn’t mean I for-forgive you."

"I know," Willow sighed. "I acted like a total idiot last night. I just…when it comes to you I can’t think straight," she quipped.

Tara shook her head good naturedly. She couldn’t stay mad at Willow for long. Not when she partly blamed herself for some of the girl’s actions.

"Let me make it up to you," Willow insisted. "How ‘bout I take you to dinner tonight? I know it’s not really much in the way of compensation, but – "

"You don’t have to," Tara interjected. "You can’t make things all better with a nice dinner."

Willow sighed in frustration. "Then how? What can I do? I know I crossed a line. And I can’t apologize enough. I don’t wanna lose you Tara."

Tara sighed again. "Don’t you get it? You made me feel this small last night. You treated me like I was nothing more than a piece of meat – a trophy."

Willow looked down at the ground sheepishly. Tara was right. "I didn’t mean to," she said in a really small voice. "I was scared."

Tara kindly reached for her friend’s hands. "You need to trust me more," she whispered. "I’m not going anywhere. And I’m not interested in being with anyone but you."

"But you’re not my girlfriend," Willow closed her eyes and leaned her forehead against Tara’s. "If you were my girlfriend I – "

Tara pulled away abruptly. "Is that what this is about?" she looked at Willow incredulously. "You think that only if I was – ?" Tara paused to steady her breathing. "You can’t chain someone to you. Whether or not I’m your girlfriend doesn’t change the way I feel. Is that what you were trying to do last night? Manipulate me into – ?"

"Oh gods no," Willow shook her head furtively as she reached for Tara’s hands. "How could you think that? I didn’t mean…I…I don’t wanna chain you. I just meant – "

"You meant that you’d feel more secure if you labeled our relationship." Tara firmly wrenched her hands from Willow’s.

"No!" Willow insisted. "It’s not…" she trailed off in resignation. Tara did have a point. Maybe she was being a bit too hung up on branding the blonde as hers. "Oh Tara," she blinked away a few tears. "I’m so sorry. Maybe you’re right. I don’t know. All I know is I’m sorry, and I wanna do whatever it takes to make it up to you. Please…"

Reluctantly meeting the redhead’s gaze, Tara sighed. "Okay," she said as she stood up. "You can take me to dinner. But we’re still not okay. We need to talk."

Willow didn’t know how to react to those words. They never boded well. "You’re leaving already?" she frowned as Tara headed for the door.

Tara nodded. "I’ve got a lot to think about. It might be best if we spent the day apart."

Willow frowned. "Whatever you want." She didn’t want to rock the boat even further.

After sulking in bed for over an hour, Willow eventually got up and headed for the bathroom. As she began to pick up the clothes and towels lying haphazardly on the tiles, Willow paused.

She stared at the blouse in her hands, recalling how she’d ripped it from Tara’s chest last night. She couldn’t believe her own audacity. She’d really acted like a jerk.

"Oh Tara," Willow sighed. "I bet you do hate me," she exited the bathroom and sat back down on her bed.

As she lay there holding the blouse, Willow began to recall more and more of her actions. And the longer she lay there, the worse she began to feel. She would definitely need to take the blonde somewhere special tonight. And even then she wasn’t sure it was gonna be enough.

As Willow hung up the phone, she looked up and was surprised to find Xander entering her room.

"Hey Will," Xander furrowed his brow at the redhead’s expression. "You okay? I’m not interrupting something…?"

Willow sighed and sat down on her bed. "Not really. I just got off the phone with La Bon Appetite. I’m taking Tara out for dinner tonight."

"I wish," Willow sighed again. "I don’t think Tara would call it a date. I’m kinda in the doghouse at the moment."

Willow pondered about how much to reveal. After a moment she sighed in exasperation. "Last night I kinda did something I’m not too proud of…"

"I…I’m fine," Xander shrugged evasively. "What could be wrong? You were saying…?"

"Well," Willow chose to let the issue drop, "Faith took us to The Red Oyster. It’s a gay bar in one of the shadier parts of town."

"I wanted to make Tara jealous. So I had a few drinks, made out on the dance floor with Faith and some dyke who turned out to be a vampire. And the only reason I’m sitting here right now is ‘cause Faith’s a Slayer."

Xander gazed at Willow bug-eyed. "You made out with Faith and a vampire? You and Faith locked lips – played tonsil hockey – did the ole – ?"

"Yes!" Willow interjected in exasperation. "And now Tara hates me – or she should. And I gotta do something to show her how sorry I am."

"Will…you made out with Faith. Why didn’t you call me? I mean, there’s a gay-bar in town with sexy girl on girl action and I’m not even aware of it. Would it have hurt to invite your oldest and best-est bud?"

"Xan-der!" Willow exclaimed in reprimand. "The whole world doesn’t revolve around you, you know."

"I don’t think so," Willow said firmly. "Sorry to dash your fantasy. But kissing Faith was a one off – even if she does know how to…"

Xander chuckled as Willow curbed her words. He knew all too well how good Faith’s technique was. "How to what Will?" he teased.

"Nothing," the redhead blushed. "Anyway," she said as she stood up, " I gotta get ready. I’ve got less than an hour to have a shower, get dressed, organize transport, get some nice fresh flowers and buy a box of Tara’s favorite candy."

"Okay, okay," Xander stood up. "I get the hint. But if you need a chauffer, I’m sure my Uncle Rory would let me borrow his car."

Willow moved to take Xander up on his offer, but thought better of it. Tonight was about her and Tara only. And much as she loved her best friend, he would just be in the way.

"Well," Xander insisted as he exited the room. "If you change your mind, you know where to find me."

At the sound of rapping on her door, Tara placed her lip gloss on the dresser. Despite the reason behind Willow’s offer of dinner, she was nevertheless looking forward to it.

"Willow…" Tara’s eyes widened at the sight of her date. The girl was dressed in the gorgeous black evening gown that had sparked their first kiss. "You look amazing."

"Thanks," Willow’s eyes brightened at the compliment. She’d hoped the dress would have an effect – ignite a memory. "So do you. Here," she brought her hands from behind her back to reveal a bouquet of a dozen red roses and a box of candy. "These are for you."

Tara smiled as she accepted the gifts. "You didn’t need to. But thanks. They’re beautiful," she commented as she placed the roses and candy on her dresser. "Let me get some water for them…"

As she waited for Willow to return, Tara pondered over how calculated her actions were. Not that she blamed the girl. Willow was simply doing her best to apologize. And she was adorable. Even if gifts were totally cliché.

"What’s so funny?" Willow asked as she stepped back into the room and found Tara chuckling softly.

"Roses and candy," Tara explained good naturedly. "The, uh, word ‘cliché’ springs to mind."

"A little," Tara smiled. "But they were a nice gesture," she insisted as Willow bit her lip dejectedly. "They’re sweet," she continued, moving to grasp Willow’s hands with her own. "Thank you."

Willow closed her eyes as Tara’s lips brushed against her cheek. "You’re, uh welcome," she said breathlessly, surprised by the show of affection.

Tara looked around in awe as the waiter seated her and Willow. The redhead had definitely gone all out. The restaurant was truly a treasure. What with the dimly lit candlelight, the twinkling chandeliers, the subtle piano music, and the all around romantic atmosphere. She never knew a place like this existed in Sunnydale.

"You like?" Willow smiled, noting Tara’s reaction. "This is where my dad took my mom on their first date. Back in the day they actually had time for one another," she continued wryly.

Tara chuckled. "Yeah. I like it here. It’s very romantic. In a subtle kinda way."

"You are?" Willow suddenly turned serious. "Really? You’re not still mad – ?"

"I was never mad," Tara reached for Willow’s hands across the table. "Maybe a little disappointed – "

"But you did," Tara interjected. "I’m n-n-not exactly the p-p-possessive type. But seeing you on the dance floor with Faith and that d-d-dyke…"

"Oh Tara," Willow closed her eyes and tightened her grip on the blonde. "If I could take it all back, I would. You’re the last person I would ever wanna hurt. You gotta believe me."

Reluctantly Willow opened her eyes. "I don’t deserve to," she said dejectedly. "You’re the most beautiful, wonderful person I’ve ever met. And I can’t believe I hurt you. I’m so sorry. If you never – "

"Ahem," their waiter cleared his throat, causing the girls to startle and move apart. "Ready to order?"

"Might I recommend the special?" The waiter prompted. "Braised steak and mushrooms on a bed of sautéed vegetables."

Willow looked up at Tara. Food was the last thing on her mind right now. "Uh , sure," she told the waiter. "Sounds good."

Willow was desperate to redeem herself in the blonde’s eyes. But was terrified she’d gone too far. It cut deep to realize she’d hurt the one person who meant the world to her.

"Tara – " Willow began, only to be silenced by Tara’s fingers against her lips.

"No," the blonde ventured. "Don’t. I know you’re sorry Will. And I know you’re scared. But that’s not really the issue here."

"No you don’t," Tara counteracted. "How many times have I told you that there’s nothing between me and Faith… and yet you wouldn’t take my word for it."

"It’s not that simple," Willow explained. "It’s not you I don’t trust. It’s me. Why would someone like you ever wanna be with me? What do I have to offer you?"

Tara sighed. Willow’s insecurities were something she could relate to. It’s not like she didn’t have enough of her own. And in a sense, her own demons – literal and figurative – were still keeping Willow at a distance. Willow’s rebellion was partly her fault after all.

"You have a lot more than you think," Tara lifted Willow’s hands to her lips and lightly grazed the girl’s knuckles. "You’re the first person who’s ever made me feel special."

"I care about you," Tara continued. "And what hurts the most is that you don’t see that."

"You don’t," Tara cut in. "You said it a moment ago. You think your not worthy. So how can you believe I care? You don’t even trust me enough not to get jealous."

"Oh Willow," Tara proceeded with a gentler tone, "I do understand, you know. A part of me also feels unworthy of – "

"In my mind I can," Tara pointed out. "So I understand what you’re feeling. But I also know that if you say you care for me, then you must see something in me that I don’t. And I trust you Will. Which is more than you – "

"But I do trust you," Willow insisted. "I know it didn’t look like it last night. But all I could think about was you. You didn’t even seem upset when Ray asked me to dance…"

Willow looked sheepishly to the ground. "I wanted you to feel what I was feeling. To know what it was like to…" Willow sighed in embarrassment. She was such a terrible person. "I’m horrible aren’t I? But I really didn’t wanna hurt you."

"But you did," Tara said softly. "I’ve never kissed Faith to make you jealous. I’ve never purposefully gone out of my way to – "

"I know," Willow choked back a tear. "I took it too far. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. But you gotta believe me when I say you’re the last person in the world I would wanna hurt."

Tara sighed as she took in Willow’s state of distress. The girl was on the verge of breaking down. "Oh Will," Tara reached for the redhead’s cheek and wiped at a stray tear. "Seeing you kissing someone else isn’t what upset me. I mean, I got used to that while you were with Oz. But last night you acted with the express purpose of upsetting me."

Willow trembled at Tara’s words, dreading what was to come. She was sure the girl’s gentle fingers upon her cheek were a death sentence. A way to soften the blow. "N-not to hurt you – "

"Will," Tara cut in with a shake of her head. "What did you expect would happen? Anyway," she continued before Willow could object. "I had a lot of time to think today, and…what we have together is too strong not to work through."

"You-you mean it?" Willow gingerly opened her eyes as she sniffled away her tears.

"I do," Tara smiled. "And I’m not just saying this ‘cause of the steak dinner we’re about to have. Or because you brought me chocolate and flowers. Or because you wore that dress. I’m saying it because I care about you and believe we have a future together."

Tara nodded. "Of course. Why do you think I’m so scared of moving too fast? I don’t wanna make the mistake of jumping into something we can’t handle. We’ve got plenty of time for that. And you don’t need to brand me your girlfriend just to make sure I don’t stray."

"Look at me," Tara insisted gently. "You’re not the only one who’s scared you know. I’ve got my own issues and self doubts too. I’m not perfect. And I have questioned your ability to care for me. But in the long run, I wanna believe that you do."

The girls acknowledged the waiter with a nod and a smile, before turning their gazes back to one another.

"So we’re cool?" Willow dared to ask, ignoring the appetizing aroma of steak and mushrooms.

"Yeah," Tara smiled. "But next time you have a problem, maybe you can talk to me about it instead of – "

"Definitely," Willow interrupted. "No more acting out. I promise. And no more vodka for a while."

As she proceeded to sample the steak, Willow kept her eyes locked on Tara. She was the luckiest girl on the planet.

"How lucky I am," Willow answered truthfully. "After how I acted. I wouldn’t blame you if – ’

Willow smiled back, feeling all gooey inside. However, as she opened her mouth to finish her earlier sentence, Tara’s words of taking things slow made her realize it was better to hold off on such revelations.

They ate the rest of their meal in pleasant silence. When the waiter eventually came around with the dessert cart, both girls politely declined.

As they waited for their bill, the girls moved their gaze towards the dance floor. There were quite a few couples up there now.

"You wanna dance Will?" Tara suggested, noting the wistful look in the redhead’s eye.

Willow turned towards her date with a grin. She’d love nothing better than to slow dance with the girl she loved. However, despite the crowd forming on the dance floor, Willow failed to notice a single couple that wasn’t paired up boy/girl.

"Oh," Tara exhaled in realization. She knew instantly why the redhead was struggling for a response. "Don’t worry about it.."

Willow felt lousy. "Oh no," she shook her head. "I didn’t…I…we can, um…it’s not what you think. I don’t mind, really. We can dance if you like…:

Tara merely shook her head, seeing right through Willow’s bravado. "It’s okay," she reassured. "I’d much rather dance in private anyway," Tara smiled in an attempt to ease Willow’s guilt.

"You wanna come inside?" Tara asked Willow as the pair stood outside the blonde’s dorm room.

"I know," Tara acknowledged. "But I meant what I said at the restaurant. I’m not mad."

Willow’s smile widened as she joined the blonde on the bed. "I was so scared today," she admitted.

"I didn’t mean it like that," Tara explained gently. "I saw a different side of you last night. And it frightened me a little…"

"Not like that," Tara sighed, struggling for a way to explain herself. "You were so – so – reckless. I thought I knew you, and then I saw you act out and it was partly my fault. And I got scared that maybe I wasn’t good for you. If I could bring you to lash out like – "

"Oh my God, no!" Willow reached for Tara’s hands in exclamation. "No! It wasn’t your fault. It was me. You were right – I didn’t trust – "

"I know," Tara interjected. "I realized that. But I was still scared. I even thought that maybe it might be best if I – "

Tara shook her head and smiled. "It’s okay. But I did think about it," she revealed.

Unable to keep the goofy smile off her face, Willow closed her eyes and leaned her forehead against Tara’s. "This," she whispered, bringing her hands to cup the girl’s cheeks and guiding their lips together.

Tara shuddered at the contact. It seemed like an eternity since she’s last enjoyed Willow’s kiss. And she’d definitely missed the soft sparkle of energy that always passed between them as their lips met for the first time. She’d missed the gentle way Willow guided her and the subtle movement of the redhead’s tongue as it probed for entrance.

"Mmmm," Willow moaned as Tara’s mouth captured her tongue. She too had missed this. But unfortunately, the kiss was over before she could even begin to enjoy it. "Mngh?" she pouted as Tara pulled away.

"May I have this dance?" the blonde extended her hand in a mock courtesan position.

With a chuckle, Tara grasped Willow’s hands with her own and pulled her close. "How’s this?" she whispered into the girl’s ear.

"It’s okay," Tara ran her hand down the length of Willow’s back and pulled her in closer. "There were too many people."

"Will," Tara lifted her head to meet Willow’s gaze. "It doesn’t matter. As long as you’re honest with yourself, nothing else matters. However long it takes for you to feel comfortable – it’s up to you. And it doesn’t change how I feel about you."

This brought a smile to Willow’s lips. "You mean it when you said you thought we had a future?"

Tara sighed. How could she explain her thoughts properly? "I know…but it’s not working, is it?"

Willow rested her head against Tara’s shoulder and sighed. How was she supposed to respond to that? "You could never hurt me," she whispered.

Willow frowned. She could tell how serious Tara’s words were, and even though she wanted to dispute them, she knew she wasn’t really in a position to do so. Tara might have forgiven her, but that didn’t mean there weren’t gonna be consequences to her actions. It was gonna take a bit of time to get back to where they were.

"Okay," she pulled away and looked into Tara’s eyes. "If that’s what you want. No more kissing, no more touching…nothing…"

Willow shook her head. "Whatever you want," she sighed resignedly. "It’s your call. I’m done arguing."

"Don’t be like that," Tara blinked away a tear. She hated to see Willow so defensive.

Willow instantly relented. "I’m sorry," she apologized quietly, suddenly wanting to get away before she broke down and begged Tara to reconsider.

"I’ll see you tomorrow then…right? Breakfast as usual? You still wanna see me don’t you…?"

"Willow wait," Tara reached for her and grasped her hands. She didn’t want the girl to leave like this. "Please…"

Willow let go of Tara’s hands and wrapped them around her neck and shoulders, pulling her into an embrace. "I’m not mad Sweetie," she whispered into her ear.

Tara wrapped her own arms around Willow and rested her head against the girl’s shoulder. "I d-d-don’t w-w-want it to be like this," she mumbled. "I don’t know what to do Will…"

"I know," Willow said soothingly, closing her eyes as she tightened her grip on Tara. "I understand. I keep pushing things too fast…I’m sorry. And you’re right."

"But you know I ‘want’ you," Tara insisted gently. "You know I want nothing more than to lay you down on my bed, strip you n-n-naked and m-m-make love to you."

"And if we keep going like we are," Tara sighed, "you ‘know’ that’s gonna happen soon. And neither of us is ready…"

"I know," Willow whispered. "But it’s so hard…I don’t think I can go back…"

Tara pressed a gentle kiss against Willow’s cheek before resting her head back down on her shoulder. "We don’t have a choice…"

"It wouldn’t be just a kiss," Tara reminded her. "It’s never just a kiss…"

Tara smiled and pulled away so as to look into Willow’s eyes. "Less kissing…?"

With a sigh, Willow pulled Tara back in for a hug and held her tight. When she finally pulled away, she pressed a quick kiss against Tara’s cheek, before exiting the room.

Tara watched Willow go in silence. There was nothing else to be said between them. She just hoped she was doing the right thing…

The next morning, the girls met for a very quiet breakfast at the Rocket Café. The atmosphere between them was more than a little tense. It was going to be hard to keep their hands off one another.

Afterwards, Tara walked Willow to school like she always did. When they said their goodbyes at the front gate, they had to do their best not to reach for one another.

"Right," Willow nodded. However, before she left she reached out for Tara’s hand and squeezed it gently. She then leaned in and whispered into Tara’s ear. "Is it still okay for me to ‘think’ about you all day?"

Willow grinned. "Bye Tara," she leaned in and impulsively pressed her lips against the blonde’s cheek.

As she watched the girl leave, Tara moved her hand to where Willow had kissed her. She was glad that she hadn’t ruined things. However, she was still unsure of her own actions. She needed someone to talk to…

As she left the school grounds, Tara decided not to go straight back to her dorm. Instead, she made a detour for Faith’s motel room. There was no one else she could think of to go to for advice.

"Faith," she called out the Slayer’s name as she knocked on her door, "it’s me, Tara. Can I come in? You alone?"

Faith groaned in annoyance. She usually never woke up before noon if she could help it. "What do you want?" she grizzled.

"Can I come in?" Tara pleaded, realizing she’d woken the girl up. "Sorry to bother you so early, but…can we talk?"

Realizing that was all the invitation she was gonna get, Tara tentatively entered the room, closing the door behind her. The first thing that caught her attention however, was Faith’s unforeseen lack of clothing.

The girl was sitting up in bed with the sheets around her waist, and her bare breasts exposed for all the world to see. She apparently slept in the nude, and obviously hadn’t been expecting any company. Or she’d already had company…?

Tara pushed her thoughts aside and gazed at the floor uncomfortably. Faith definitely had an ample cleavage, and even though she wasn’t a ‘breast gal’ per se, the sight of it hadn’t failed to evoke a reaction.

"Faith," Tara sighed, risking a glance upwards only to look down again when she realized the girl was still exposed. "Please…"

Faith smiled with bemusement as she watched Tara turn a deeper shade of red with every word. Deciding to take pity on the girl, Faith pulled the sheets off herself and stood up. She then walked across the room dressed in only her g-string panties and grabbed a tank top.

"Must be ‘some’ conversation," Faith ventured as she pulled on the shirt. "So whadda you wanna talk about anyway?"

Faith raised an eyebrow and took a seat on her bed, motioning for Tara to do the same.

"Sex?" she questioned as Tara joined her. "You want some pointers?" Faith leered at Tara suggestively.

"What is?" Faith prompted curiously. It wasn’t every day that someone like Blondie wanted to talk sex with her.

"That’s just it," Tara sighed. "Willow ‘wants’ me. I know she cares for me, but she’s never once said it was more…that she’s in love with me…"

Faith leaned back in understanding. "Have you told her how you feel? Red’s not the type for a meaningless tumble….Oh," she grinned in revelation, "I get it. You’re scared…"

Faith shook her head in a patronizing manner. "You want her, but it’s gotta be about love. I’m the one who doesn’t understand here. What are you scared of?"

"Look," Faith continued, "you say you’re in love with her, right? Then so what if she’s not? She ‘wants’ you. That’s almost as good. We don’t always get what we want Tara. Take what you can get I say. I know I would."

"But I’m ‘not’ you," Tara interjected. "I can’t have sex with someone and have it mean nothing…"

"Who says it’d mean nothing?" Faith countered. "It’d mean something for ‘you’, right? And it’d mean something for Red too. You don’t give up the cherry to just anyone. Why does she have to be in love with you, too?"

"Because I want a relationship with her," Tara explained. "I don’t want her regretting something she’s done and resenting me for it. It’s not easy – "

"Stop," Faith instructed. "Pretty words. But anyone with half a brain can see they’re excuses. There’s something else going on here, and you’re not spilling. It’s like you don’t wanna get sexual with her…"

"Of course I do," Tara protested. "I’m in love with her. Why wouldn’t I wanna be with her?"

"You tell me," Faith responded. "You’re fumbling for excuses – reasons to keep her away."

‘I guess that’s why I came here. It’s hard doing the right thing all the time.’

"Look," Faith interrupted Tara’s thoughts. "You don’t have to tell me what’s up. But I’ll give you some advice. Until you make up your mind about what you want, don’t forget to keep Red interested. The girl’s not gonna stick around if she thinks you don’t want her. She’ll retaliate and get her happy off someone else."

"Then why do you think she picked up Vamperella the other night? That girl’s got a wild side I never woulda imagined. In fact, if you’re not careful, I might give her a go myself…"

Faith paused so she could enjoy the territorial look that passed over Tara’s face.

"Relax," she lifted her hand up and chuckled. "I’m just foolin’. But seriously. Willow ain’t gonna stick around forever while you figure things out. And even ‘she’ isn’t blind enough to keep buyin’ your excuses. You’re gonna have to fess up eventually."

"Well, good luck with figurin’ things out," Faith encouraged as she opened the door. "Sorry I couldn’t help more. But if you ever wanna tell me what’s really up, you know where I’m at."

Faith grinned as she watched Tara leave. She just hoped that whatever was keeping her from being with Red would sort itself out eventually. If anyone deserved a bit of happiness it was Blondie. Although, if things didn’t work out between her and Red…

Faith chuckled to herself as she closed the door. You never knew about these things. And she could always dream…right? With that thought, she took off her shirt, slipped off her g-string, and crawled back into bed. Her hand instantly moved to between her legs as she chose to indulge herself in a little fantasy.

Later that afternoon, as Tara moved to leave for class, she sat down next to her student and lifted her hand up to Willow’s cheek, softly brushing her thumb against her skin. She figured it couldn’t hurt to follow some of Faith’s advice and keep Willow interested.

Willow smiled at Tara and felt her breath catch. She looked the girl in the eye as she caressed her skin, wondering what was on her mind – why she was gazing into her eyes.

"You," Tara whispered back huskily. "I was just thinking how beautiful your eyes are. I love the way they sparkle when you’re happy. You should smile more often Willow, you have an amazing smile."

Willow had no idea how to respond to that. The way Tara said those words, the way she looked into her eyes, the way her breath tickled her skin as she spoke, all added to her inner heat. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest as she gazed into Tara’s eyes, unable to look away.

She opened her mouth to respond, but no words came out. All she could do was breathe air into her lungs as Tara continued to caress her cheek and look at her with those smoldering blue eyes of hers.

Why was she saying this? What was her game? Was Tara flirting with her? And if she was, then what did it mean? Only last night she’d said she wanted to cool things down a bit – take a step back. So what was she up to?

Just then, Tara’s face moved even closer towards hers, and all her thoughts dissipated instantly. She could now feel Tara’s breath against her half open lips and the pounding in her chest intensified automatically. Was Tara going to kiss her?

‘Oh, please God, let her kiss me…I’ll do anything, just let me feel those luscious lips against mine. Even for just a minute…a second even. Oh please…!’

"You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met," Tara said softly, allowing her lips to almost touch Willow’s as she spoke.

"I…I am…?" Willow choked out, unconsciously moving her lips closer to Tara’s. She wanted to brush against them as she spoke, but Tara was too quick for her. The girl moved her head back with each word, so that their lips never actually came into contact, even though their breath intermingled.

"You are," Tara confirmed, finding it increasingly difficult to remain in control. She too wanted to feel Willow’s lips against hers, but that would send the wrong signal. Wouldn’t it? Maybe just for a second? No! She had to remain strong.

Therefore, just as the gap between their lips disappeared completely, Tara changed the direction of her kiss. With all the willpower she could muster, she moved her lips just enough so that they were pressed up against Willow’s cheek instead.

Willow closed her eyes and moaned – both in frustration and semi-satisfaction. The feel of Tara’s lips felt amazing regardless of where they were. Although, she’d much rather have felt them against her own, but a kiss was still a kiss. Even if it wasn’t the type of kiss she was after.

"I’ll see you after class Will," Tara whispered as she pulled away, her hand still cupping Willow’s cheek.

‘I hope I’m doing the right thing…’ Tara couldn’t help but wonder. ‘…would it really be so bad to give in…? I want her so badly. So what if she’s not in love with me. Maybe Faith was right. I’m in love with ‘her’…that’s all that should matter. Right…? Gods, Tara, you know better than that. You gotta be strong…for both of you…’

With that, Tara allowed herself one last caress of Willow’s cheek, before she stood up and left her dorm room. She’d had to force herself not to look back though. Because if she had, all her self-control up until then would’ve been for naught.

Half an hour later, Willow was still in Tara’s room, waiting for her to return from class. That wouldn’t be for a few hours, as Tara not only had class, but a study group afterwards. Willow didn’t mind however, since it gave her some time to practice her spells and read over the current magick book Tara had assigned to her. Focusing on magick was the best way to keep her hormones at bay.

After her recent transgressions, Willow knew she’d have to be on her best behavior. She’d put Tara through enough.

With a sigh, Willow turned her attention back to the spell book. A moment later, a knock at the door startled her. Placing the book down on the bed, Willow moved to answer it.

"Amy?" she exclaimed in surprise. "What’re ‘you’ doing here? If you wanna see Tara, she won’t be back for another couple of hours…"

"Oh, that’s okay," Amy pushed her way past Willow and entered the room uninvited. "I came to see ‘you’ anyway," she told her, taking a seat on the bed.

"Yeah, I stopped by your place, but your mom said you were with your college friend Cara. I figured she meant Tara," Amy chuckled.

"You’re mom still giving you grief?" Amy said knowingly, recognizing Willow’s look of annoyance. "You know, for as long as I’ve known you, I don’t think you’re mom has ever once gotten my name right either. I think Xander’s the only one she gets right, and even then she calls him Alexander…"

"Cheer up," Amy quipped. "A mom who ignores you, is better than one who tries to control you, right? At least your mom lets you be yourself."

Willow instantly reached out for Amy. "Oh, I’m sorry," she briefly touched her shoulder in comfort. "I didn’t mean to bring back bad memories. I-I…"

"It’s okay Will," Amy reassured. "You get used to it. And besides, living with my dad is great. He lets me eat all the chocolate I like," she chuckled.

"Yeah," Willow grinned. "It’s been a while since we had a brownie pig out. Is that why you came looking for me?"

Amy chuckled at Willow’s innocent question. "I didn’t come for brownies," she began slowly, choosing her words carefully. "I talked to Michael yesterday…he said he saw you at the Red Oyster the other night and you were, um…lets just say I know your secret."

"W-w-what?" Willow stammered, her face turning bright red. "You know? Michael was there? Why was Michael there? What did he tell you? What do you know? What secret?"

"Michael’s gay?" Willow’s eyes widened in surprise. "I…I never…I mean – "

"What did you expect?" Amy quipped with a smirk. "You’ve seen the amount of makeup he owns. And why do you think he’s never had a girlfriend?"

"I…" Willow had no idea what to say to that. She couldn’t believe she’d been so blind. Why hadn’t she noticed that before? She was almost as bad as Buffy. She’d have to learn to pay more attention to her friends’ lives.

"Hey, don’t worry about it," Amy was quick to interject. "I didn’t know either until yesterday."

"No. I mean, who notices these things anyway? It’s not like it really matters, right?"

"Uh…yeah…I guess…" Willow replied gingerly, not sure what to make of Amy’s reaction.

"Michael told me how she and Faith were, um…you know, heating it up on the dance floor"

"Um, I, uh…I…" Willow stammered nervously, becoming increasingly uncomfortable with the turn of their conversation.

"It’s understandable though," Amy continued, a smirk curling her lip. "Tara’s obviously into girls with power, she probably gets off on it. And who’s got more power than a Slayer?"

"Tara’s not like that," Willow was quick to defend, although a tiny part of her began to wonder. What if Amy was right? What if that ‘was’ the real reason Tara kept resisting her advances? Maybe she wasn’t good enough for her – not powerful enough. Faith had so much more to offer Tara then ‘she’ did. Faith was strong, powerful, headstrong, determined, had a great body, and from personal experience, Willow knew without a doubt how well that gal could kiss.

"Still," Amy pushed, sensing the doubts forming in her friend’s mind, "I bet you’d have a better chance with her if you were more powerful."

"Tara’s not that shallow," Willow insisted. "She looks for more than just power in a girl. And the only reason we’re not together is because…because…" She trailed off, realizing she wasn’t sure of the reason anymore.

"I’m not ready," Willow said forcefully – doing her best to convince herself. "She wants me to be sure of who I am before…"

Amy cut off Willow’s excuse with a chuckle. "Sounds like she’s just being polite. Since when is ‘she’ a better judge of what ‘you’ want? Don’t you know for yourself if you’re into her or not?"

"But nothing," Amy interrupted. "Tara’s into power. It’s natural. Most witches are. ‘I’m’ into it, and I admit that openly. It’s ‘all’ about power. And I’ll let you in on a little secret – I know where to get it, too."

"I know this guy…and he knows spells that last for days. And the burnout factor is like…nothing."

"Really?" Willow quirked an eyebrow. She couldn’t help but feel curious. "He’s a warlock?"

"I guess," Amy hedged. "Look, I’m not kidding you. This guy…will blow your mind. He will take you to places that you can’t even imagine."

Willow didn’t know about this. It all sounded a little too dangerous to her. Warlocks weren’t generally into light magicks…they’re power hinged on darkness. And she didn’t think Tara would be too pleased to find her power came from such a place. She’d been so adamant in her teachings about the importance of nature and the earth and not using her power recklessly.

So why then did Tara find Faith so appealing? Faith was definitely a ‘ Bad Girl ’. There wasn’t much lightness around her. In fact, Faith was down right dangerous. What if Amy was right? What if Tara ‘did’ like her girls powerful? She’d never compete with Faith unless she too walked on the wild side a little. Ignoring the voice of reason inside her, Willow made up her mind.

"Would that stop you?" Amy met her eyes in a challenge, hoping to evoke a display of rebellion.

Without a word, Willow stood up. She kept her eyes locked with Amy’s as she moved into Resolve Mode. "Lets go," she instructed, not looking back as she exited the room.

With a self-satisfied grin, Amy followed Willow out the door. It was time for stage two of her plan.

They’d been walking for about ten minutes now, and Willow was beginning to feel a little uneasy. It would start to get dark soon, and they were in a very unsavory neighborhood, walking along a deserted alleyway. Maybe she’d been a little hasty in coming with Amy…

"Where?" Willow looked around, not seeing any buildings, openings, or doorways. "I thought you said the guy lived around here…"

"He does," Amy stopped walking and stretched her hands out in front of her. "You can’t feel it?"

‘ Feel what? ’ Willow thought to herself, seeing nothing but an empty alley in front of her. "What do you – ?"

In response to her question, Amy reached over and grabbed Willow’s hand. "Here," she instructed, guiding her wrist up and down.

Letting go of Willow’s hand, Amy turned around and walked backwards into the source of the heat. "Come on," she said excitedly, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

Willow watched in awe as the air around Amy began to ripple, gradually engulfing her into its void. ‘ Here goes nothing, ’ she thought to herself, ignoring the ache in her gut telling her to run. If she didn’t like what she saw, she could always leave, right? Amy had only been challenging her when she said it was dangerous…? She wouldn’t really lead her into harm’s way, would she?

With her hand outstretched, Willow continued walking until she was finally inside a small room. Her eyes were wide with amazement as she realized she’d just walked through a closed door. The room was quite bare and dilapidated. There were a couple of sofas, some chairs, and only a couple of lamps giving the room just the slightest bit of light.

She didn’t like this place at all. It reminded her of something out of a gangster movie – a drug-lord’s meeting place. Just being here made her skin crawl and she was beginning to feel like she’d made a huge mistake.

"It’s cool, isn’t it?" Amy interrupted her thoughts. "The place is cloaked," she said excitedly, grinning as she looked around the room.

Willow frowned at this. ‘There’s trouble…what kind of trouble? Why would there be trouble? And who’s this Rack person? ’

Amy opened her mouth to answer, but the sound of a door opening distracted her. They both turned around to see who it was.

Willow didn’t know why, but she instantly disliked the man. It wasn’t because of his greasy long-hair, or his chiseled features, or even due to the scar on his face. It was his aura. Thanks to Tara, she’d gotten quite good at sensing a person’s energy, and there was something so dark about Rack that it made her want to turn around and run like she’d never run before. ‘What have I gotten myself into? ’

"Would you care to step into my office, ladies?" Rack opened his door and gestured inside.

Amy instantly obliged, stoked that there hadn’t been anyone else in the waiting room. Sometimes, she’d had to wait for hours, days even, before Rack would let her in. She wasn’t one of his favorites. Hopefully, he’d be pleased with her for bringing him a new customer…

Willow however, hesitated. She didn’t really feel like being in a closed room with this Rack guy.

"Um, I…I think, maybe, um…T-T-Tara’s, um…expecting me. She said she was gonna stop back between classes to see how I was going. She might worry if I’m not there. I left so fast, I, uh…I forgot to leave her a note. Maybe we could, um, do this another time…"

"She’s not your keeper," Amy coaxed from the doorway, feeling suddenly desperate. She really needed her fix and knew Rack might not be so forthcoming if Willow left. What’s more, she needed to put the second part of her plan into action and that would only work if she could get Willow to taste the power.

Rack could sense what was on Amy’s mind – having read her thoughts the instant she’d walked in. He had no interested in Amy though, her power was limited. Red on the other hand was a different story. She had so much power inside her; power she’d yet to discover. And Amy was his link.

"I won’t keep you then," Rack said. He turned towards Amy, motioning her into his office.

Amy was surprised, but complied nevertheless. It wasn’t every day that Rack allowed her in, and it had been over a week since her last fix. She’d just have to convince Willow to come back with her some other time. Maybe work a spell…?

Willow hesitated, a part of her couldn’t help worrying about Amy. What if something happened to her? Rack was definitely untrustworthy. However, a voice reminded her that Amy had done this before, and she’d come back willingly. She’d be fine…wouldn’t she?

With that, Amy and Rack disappeared into his office, while Willow turned around and exited via the door she’d come in through. She ran all the way to Tara’s, desperate to return to the one place she felt safest. Being at Rack’s had really wigged her out.

The moment she arrived back at Tara’s, Willow got the shock of her life. She’d only just closed the door behind her, when out of nowhere, Amy appeared right in front of her. She could sense a huge amount of energy emanating from Amy and upon closer inspection, the girl’s eyes seemed to have turned completely black.

"Amy?" She said her name nervously. "How did you get here? And…and what’s wrong with your eyes?"

"Um, no, it isn’t," Willow frowned, wondering why Rack had sent her. This was definitely not a good sign. Besides, Amy knew it wasn’t her birthday – she’d turned 18 this summer and Amy had even been at her party. The fact that Buffy hadn’t been there had put a dampener on things though, which reminded her… "But now that you mention it, Buffy’s is coming – "

Willow watched helplessly as a wave of blue energy shot from Amy’s hand and made its way towards her. Before she could even think to get out of the way, she was knocked to the floor as the power entered her body.

Willow felt more alive than she’d ever felt before. As she stood up, she looked down at her hands and then up at Amy. She could feel the power surging through her body, and it was giving her the biggest rush of her life. She felt so energized, so alive, so in control…as if she could do anything.

Taking a step towards Tara’s desk, she picked up a pencil and watched in awe as it turned bendy. It was ‘her’ energy doing that. This was incredible. It’s like she was experiencing the sensation of casting a hundred spells at once.

"It’s great, isn’t it?" Amy grinned, watching with glee as Willow reacted to the power inside her.

Willow couldn’t disagree with that, especially since the dark energy was beginning to cloud her mind. How could something that felt so amazing be bad? Besides, so what if there was darkness? She’d called upon the dark arts before…Angel’s curse for example. And that hadn’t ended too badly. Well, if you ignore the fact that Buffy had to kill the man she loved, and not some demon who owned his face. But still, those were extenuating circumstances.

"Then try this," Amy suggested, allowing herself to float up towards the ceiling.

‘Um…" Willow hesitated. She’d never tried to levitate before – she didn’t think she was ready.

"Use the power," Amy coached, sensing Willow’s uncertainty. "Let the energy lift you up."

Figuring it couldn’t hurt to try, Willow did as Amy instructed. She soon found herself lying flat on her back against the ceiling. "Wow," she giggled as she lowered herself down a bit, "this is so cool."

"A tea party on the ceiling," Willow giggled, enjoying the heady sensation of using her newfound energy. "All that’s missing is the tea…"

"No problem," Amy snapped her fingers and muttered a few Latin words under her breath.

"What the – ?" Willow looked down in surprise as a cup of tea appeared in her hands. She then looked at Amy and giggled, noticing she had one too.

With that, Willow closed her eyes and focused for a second, wracking her brain for a spell. Reciting the words and focusing her energy, Willow performed her very first conjuring spell. She squealed in delight when a plate of brownies appeared on the floor below them.

"Let me," Amy gestured, using her magick to float the plate upwards. "I guess I ‘did’ come over for brownies after all."

The girls giggled as they reached for the brownies, reveling in the energy inside them. They were giving new meaning to the term ‘getting high.’

After her class, Tara decided to stop back at her dorm before going to study group. She had a weird feeling in the pit of her stomach, and she couldn’t help but think it had something to do with Willow.

When she reached her door, she frowned at the giggling she heard coming from inside. There were two voices. Who was there besides Willow? And what were they doing?

"Oh, my God," Tara’s eyes widened in shock. "Willow! Amy! What are you doing?" She couldn’t believe the extent of the darkness coming from Willow. It frightened her.

"Get down from there!" She ordered, using her own energy to guide Willow downwards. "What’s going on here?"

Willow frowned as Tara pulled her down. "We were just having some fun," she explained as her feet finally touched the ground. "It’s a tea-party…like on Mary Poppins. We used to watch it when we were kids," she smiled up at her friend."

"Yeah," Amy did a somersault in mid air as she spoke. "Her mom would whip up some brownies for us and we’d pig out."

"We always wanted to fly like she did," Willow explained. "Hey, wanna try it with us?" Willow began to levitate back upwards.

Tara sighed in frustration, annoyed that Willow had missed her point. Where had she gotten that energy? It was obviously borrowed power, and the black-eyed look Willow sported made her cringe.

"Stop it," Tara demanded, reaching her hands for Willow’s thighs and dragging her back down. "I don’t want you using dark energy," she continued, moving into Teacher-Mode. "Where did you get it?"

‘Rack? ’ Tara thought to herself. Why did that name sound so familiar? ‘Oh…of course…that’s the warlock mom told me about. She said that one of the girls in her coven was never the same after she’d visited with him. I’d bet all my scholarship money that girl was Amy’s mom… ’

"You w-w-went to Rack’s?" She grabbed Willow by the shoulders and held her firm; her fear causing her to tremble. "P-please, t-t-tell me you didn’t go to Rack’s," she pleaded loudly, "tell me you-you didn’t l-l-let him t-t-touch you. You have no idea w-what he’s capable of. If he t-t-touched you…oh, Willow, how c-c-c-c-could you go to-to Rack’s?"

"Tara, stop it," Willow protested, tears welling up in her eyes, "you’re hurting me."

Tara immediately loosened her hold. Her fear and anger were so pronounced she hadn’t realized her fingers had been digging into Willow’s flesh as she spoke. She just had to know how far Willow had gone. Despite the energy emanating from her, Tara still hoped Willow hadn’t actually participated in a full exchange.

"I’m sorry," Tara apologized gently, keeping her hands on Willow’s shoulders. "It’s just…Gods Willow, I have to know what happened. Did you let Rack touch you?"

"No," Willow frowned. She was completely bewildered over Tara’s reaction. "I-I left. He, um…he scared me," she told her honestly. "But Amy came back and she…she said it was a gift and…"

"You did this to her?" Tara looked up at Amy, feeling angrier than she’d ever felt in her life. Just the thought of someone exposing Willow to such darkness… "Get down from there," she began to pull Amy down with her own energy.

Amy resisted. She was still feeling juiced with power and didn’t wanna kill her buzz. "I guess that’s my cue to leave." And with that, she muttered a relocation spell and placed herself outside of Tara’s room.

As she began to run, she couldn’t help feeling pleased with herself. Despite Tara’s rude interruption, she’d had a good night. What’s more, she’d given Willow her first taste of real power. It was only a matter of time before she went searching for more…

Tara sighed as Amy disappeared. She wanted to have a word with the dark witch – but ‘that’ confrontation could wait. She had to deal with Willow first. Looking at her black-eyed, juiced up student, Tara’s mood worsened. It was like all her fears had just come to pass. What made it even worse, was that she still hadn’t found a cleansing ritual that would be appropriate. She needed one now more than ever.

"Willow," she gently circled her thumbs over the girl’s shoulders, genuinely sorry she’d hurt her earlier.

"I…I’m sorry I hurt you," she said softly, blinking away a few tears. "It’s just…do you have any idea of what Rack’s capable of? Seeing you…sensing your energy, I…oh, God Willow, you s-s-scared me. You’re still scaring me. You’re j-j-juiced up on…on d-d-dark m-m-magicks and…and you don’t even know what it’s doing to you. Oh, Willow…"

Tara couldn’t stop the tears from falling as her emotions took over. She was not only disappointed with Willow, but she blamed herself as well. She obviously hadn’t been a good enough teacher. Maybe she hadn’t put enough stress on how dangerous dark magick was? It was all her fault, and now, Willow had moved one step closer to destroying her life.

Despite the heady rush of power clouding her mind, Willow couldn’t help but respond to Tara’s mood. She hated to see her so upset. "Hey," she reached her arms around Tara and pulled her close. "C’mere…"

Tara closed her eyes as Willow’s face buried itself against her neck. She moved her own hands from the girl’s shoulders to rest against her back, holding her tight. "Oh, Willow," she sighed, as the tears continued to fall.

Willow just held her close, reacting to her tears with a torrent of her own. Tara’s pain was her pain – even if she didn’t know what had caused it exactly.

They held each other like that for a long while – minutes, hours, seconds – who knew? Time had no meaning for either girl, but eventually, Tara’s tears subsided, as did Willow’s.

As she pulled away from Willow, Tara pressed a soft kiss against her cheek, before moving her hands to cup the girl’s face. She then guided Willow’s forehead to her lips, lingering there for a long while. When she finally pulled away, she covered Willow’s lips with her own and kissed her gently, chastely, capturing her bottom lip for a long moment before moving away.

"You scared me Willow," she told her quietly, pleased to see that at least the blackness was gone from her eyes. She could still feel the darkness inside her though and it frightened her. Why had Willow allowed herself to get to where she was?

"Willow," she began, not letting go of her face. "I need to know what happened. Please…I, I just…I need to know. Can you tell me?"

Willow furrowed her brow, wondering why it was so important to Tara. What had she done that was so wrong? She’d only been having a bit of fun – nothing dangerous. What was so bad about levitating? She wasn’t hurting anyone…so why was Tara so down on her about it? And why did she scare off Amy? What was Tara’s problem?

"OK," Willow began, "but, I…I wanna know what I did. Why are you so upset? What’s wrong with a bit of levitating? A tea party on the ceiling – we weren’t hurting anyone…"

"Only yourselves," Tara interjected, letting go of the girl’s cheeks in frustration. "Don’t you get it? It’s the power you’re using. It’s not yours, and it’s dangerous. Haven’t I always taught you to stay away from dark magicks…?"

"I know," Tara didn’t let her finish. "But you didn’t have to indulge in it. The more dark stuff you use, the harder it becomes to resist. It’s almost like a drug. Many good witches have destroyed their lives by going down that path and I don’t want it to happen to you."

"What do you mean?" Willow wasn’t completely following Tara. She knew dark magicks were wrong – but she hadn’t really given in to darkness. Besides, it wasn’t exactly ‘her’ fault. Amy was the one that dosed her…but they hadn’t done anything dangerous. So why did Tara say she was into darkness?

"You really don’t get it, do you?" Tara raised an eyebrow in surprise, not sure whether to be disappointed, or angry, or both. "The power inside you – it’s not what magick is about, and it doesn’t matter what you use the power for, it’s still wrong. Harnessing it will slowly taint you and…and before you know it, you’ll be unable to live without it."

"I – " Willow moved to protest but Tara wouldn’t let her. She was in lecture-mode and she wasn’t going to stop until she’d finished instructing her student. It was for her own good.

"Dark magicks will destroy you. And you’ve already gotten so much in your system. I’m scared that it may already be too late. I’ve been doing a lot of research – looking up cleansing rituals…"

"You think I’m evil?" Willow exclaimed, overreacting to Tara’s words. "You, you think I’ve gone too far?"

"I don’t think you’re evil," Tara sighed. "I just don’t want you to go down that path. You mean so much to me Will and I…I don’t wanna see you destroy your life."

"But you’ve been researching before tonight?" Willow continued. "You think I’m so dark that I need to be cleansed? No wonder you don’t wanna be with me. You think I’m – "

Tara shook her head in wonder, frustrated to see how wrong she’d taken everything. "This has n-n-nothing to do with me w-w-wanting you Will. ‘Cause you know I do. You know the only reason we’re not together is ‘cause – "

" ‘Cause you think I’m not ready," Willow finished up. "Yeah, I know," she said bitterly, "you’ve said it like a million times. But guess what, maybe I ‘am’. How is it that ‘you’ know better than ‘me’ if I’m ready or not. It’s like my opinion doesn’t even matter ‘cause…’cause I’m not as experienced as you. I mean, I just feel like the-the junior partner. You’ve been doing everything longer than me. You’ve been out longer…you’ve been practicing witchcraft way longer – "

"Willow," Tara interjected, "if you didn’t trust my judgment, then why ask me to be your teacher? I only want what’s best for you, Will. I – "

"But you don’t trust me to make my own decisions," Willow protested. "Sure, I get you’re my teacher and…and you know better. But…but when do ‘I’ get a chance? D-don’t you trust me?"

"That’s not what I meant," Willow grizzled. "You think I’m gonna hurt ‘you’. Not the other way around. That’s what you’re ‘really’ scared of – why you pushed me away the other night. This isn’t just about the witchcraft. It’s about the other changes in my life."

"I trust you," Tara sighed, frustrated with how wrong Willow had gotten things. "I just," she dropped her gaze down to the floor, as she struggled for the right words. "I don’t know where I’m gonna fit in…" she clarified, "…in your life when…"

"When…?" Willow’s anger began to well up inside her, forcing her to take a deep breath to steady herself. "I change back? Yeah, this is a phase, just a-a little experimentation before I get over the thrill and head back to boys’ town."

She looked at Tara, waiting for her to disagree…to let her know she was mistaken. Her anger resurfaced when all Tara did was look at the ground uncomfortably.

"Should I?" Tara regretted the words even before she’d finished saying them. They were only half true. "You said it yourself a few weeks ago," she explained. "You don’t know who you are…you’re confused…"

Willow couldn’t help but wonder when her indecision would stop coming back to bite her on the ass. Just because she’d been hesitant about herself at one stage, didn’t mean she was uncertain now. She was in love with Tara, and that was something she knew for a fact. She’d never leave Tara for a guy…

"I’m really sorry that I didn’t establish my lesbo street cred before I met you," Willow said with as much sarcasm as she could muster. "You’re the only woman I’ve ever…"

"Had these feelings for," she said instead. "So…how on earth could you ever take me seriously?"

"Willow – " Tara turned around in protest. "Please – " She begged, not wanting to end on a bad note.

Willow ignored her, the dark energy inside fuelling her anger. "I can’t hurt you if I’m not around," she said bitterly, slamming the door behind her.

Tara watched helplessly as Willow left, unable to move. She wanted to run after her, tell her not to go, tell her she loved her – that she knew she’d never hurt her. But her body wouldn’t obey her mind. She was numb with pain. This was her first real fight with Willow, and it was all her fault.

Willow obviously still felt like she had to prove something to her. What if ‘she’d’ driven her to seek out Amy – to seek out more power – just like she’d driven her to act out at the Red Oyster? She should’ve shown Willow more affection…

But wait, she’d always been honest with her. Willow knew she was cared for, knew she wanted her. She’d made that perfectly clear. Well, okay, so she hadn’t told her the whole reason she was holding back, but Willow didn’t need to know it was her own dark side that bothered her more than anything.

Which suddenly reminded her of Amy’s darkness. What had Amy’s role been in all of this? She recalled Willow saying that she’d been scared of Rack, that she’d left his place because of it. So, that would mean that Rack had met her. What if he’d sensed Willow’s power and used Amy as a vehicle to get Willow hooked? That was exactly the type of thing he was known for.

This worried her even more. She didn’t want Willow to have anything to do with Rack – or Amy for that matter. And while it wasn’t Rack’s style to go actively seeking clients, she knew he would nevertheless be gunning for Willow. Although, he never did things like that for himself, and she was certain that he would use Amy to do his dirty work.

Her mind made up, Tara quickly located a cross and a vial of holy water. She pocketed them both, before heading out. It was time she had a little talk with Amy. No one messed with ‘her’ Willow and got away with it.

Tara knew where Amy lived from all the letters they’d written to one another, but she was certain the girl wasn’t at home right now. She was most likely searching for Rack. The warlock had a tendency of relocating every few hours, just to be on the safe side. It didn’t take Tara long to find the dark Witch and she couldn’t be happier to have caught her before she disappeared into Rack’s domain.

Mustering all her energy, Tara focused on Amy’s form in front of her. Before Amy knew what was happening, she was being lifted into the air and pressed up against the alley wall.

"Hey!" Amy exclaimed as a beam of energy circled her body, paralyzing her. "I can’t move…"

"I know," Tara made her presence known, moving to stand in front of her. "That’s the plan."

"Tara?" Amy shook her head in surprise, shocked at the power of the girl’s spell. She hadn’t know the girl had so much power – she’d obviously underestimated her. "Let me go," she demanded.

"I don’t think so," Tara folded her arms. "We need to talk," she smirked. "And I, uh…I don’t wanna see a r-repeat performance of your, um…disappearing act."

"Wrong answer," Tara interrupted, tightening the energy around her as punishment. She wasn’t one for violence, but when Willow was in trouble, there wasn’t much she wouldn’t do to help her. And besides, if she ‘did’ have evil inside her, she might as well use it against someone like Amy. Not that she wished the girl any real harm. She just wanted to scare her a little – make sure she left Willow alone.

"And it’s gonna hurt more," Tara explained, "if you don’t tell me what I wanna know."

"I swear to you, I didn’t do anything. She wanted power so I took her to Rack’s. She chickened out though so he let her go home."

Tara once again tightened her energy hold. "We both know that’s not his style," Tara explained, ignoring Amy’s moan of discomfort. "Rack would never just let her go, would he?"

"N-n-n-no he didn’t," Amy struggled as her pain increased. She had no idea what Rack would do to her if she ratted him in.

"Oh, no?" Tara squeezed Amy yet again. "Then what was the gift? Didn’t you say he gave Willow a gift?"

"He wants Willow, doesn’t he?" Tara demanded, not waiting for an answer. "And he wants you to lure her to him."

Amy tried to shake her head in protest, but the pain was too much. The energy ring was choking her now.

"Let me tell you something, Amy," Tara continued. "I want you to stay away from Willow. If you go anywhere near her, I’ll do more than just choke you. You got it?" She loosened her grip and then tightened it back again, just for emphasis. "There’s a lot you don’t know about me," she said in her most menacing voice. "If you think Rack is dark, just wait till you see the darkness inside me."

And with that, Tara squeezed Amy one last time, causing her to lose consciousness. She watched silently as the girl collapsed on the pavement, feeling a twinge of guilt. She couldn’t believe she’d actually hurt her. She’d never hurt anyone like this before.

Her fear for Willow had clouded her judgment. However, Amy was still a person and deserved to be treated as such. She wasn’t evil – just misled. The girl needed help and guidance, not pain. With a sigh, Tara walked over towards Amy and knelt down next to her.

It wouldn’t be a good idea to leave her alone – not when there were all number of vamps and demons lurking around. It would mean certain death for the girl. She needed to wake her up.

"Amy," she gave her cheek a firm tap with her hand. When she didn’t stir, Tara reached into her pocket and took out the vial of holy water. She then splashed it all over the girl’s face, hoping it would rouse her.

"Good," she smiled when Amy sputtered in response. "You’re awake. Wouldn’t wanna leave you powerless." With that, she stood up and headed back home, leaving Amy alone to recover. Much as she hated the girl right now, she didn’t really want her dead.

As Amy watched her disappear into the night, she made a silent vow to herself. ‘I’ll get you for this Tara Maclay. Just wait and see. This isn’t over yet… ’

That night, both Willow and Tara slept restlessly. Many a tear was shed because of their fight and both regretted their harsh words. Many times that night, both girls had moved to call the other and then changed their minds. They didn’t quite know what to say, or if they’d be welcomed.

The next morning, Willow automatically began to walk to Tara’s; breakfast at the Rocket Café had become a ritual for the two of them. However, she had to stop and compose herself once she realized this wouldn’t be happening today. She hated fighting with Tara. It hadn’t even been a full day and already she missed her. She felt so lost without her…

Tara felt the same way. Which is why she couldn’t bring herself to have any breakfast that morning. It just wouldn’t feel right without Willow. What’s more, she knew she wouldn’t be seeing Willow this afternoon like she always did and that brought an ache in her chest that wouldn’t let up. After the way she’d stormed out, Tara figured Willow would never want to see her again.

So, what was she to do? She couldn’t bare the thought of not having Willow in her life. She missed her terribly, and it hadn’t even been a day yet. How would she survive tomorrow, or the day after, or the day after that? She had to make her apologies.

Besides, someone had to be around Willow to make sure she didn’t descend even further into darkness. She had to do something to patch things up between them.

With that thought, Tara made her mind up. She’d head over to the high school this afternoon, hopefully catch Willow after her classes were over.

After her last class for the day, Willow made her way to the library. It had been a terrible day for her. Not only did she miss Tara, but she’d gotten her SAT results back. She’d only scored a 740 on her verbal. And to make matters worse, she didn’t even have Tara to console her about it. The gang didn’t get why the score upset her, but Tara would have. Tara knew her better than anyone. She understood her…

Willow didn’t bother to acknowledge Giles. Instead, she merely sighed, before heading towards the nearest table. She plonked herself on a chair and placed her backpack next to her on the floor. She didn’t open it though, not feeling in the mood for homework – she wanted to sulk.

"You all right?" Giles stopped packing his camping equipment and took a seat next to the sulking redhead.

"Ah, yes," Giles ventured sarcastically, "because your good mood is both obvious and contagious."

"I had a fight with Tara," she ventured gingerly, unsure of how much to reveal. "It was awful."

"Over?" Willow’s heart pounded in alarm. "How can it be over? I just found her!"

"And, you'll feel better when you've made your apologies and you'll know that you can fight without the world ending. I know it all seems bleak now, but as they say, this too...shall pass."

"But what if it doesn’t," Willow sighed. "I said some really mean things to her Giles…and she was right…"

Willow sighed yet again as she looked at Giles, contemplating how much she could tell him.

"It’s just…oh Giles, I really messed up," Willow couldn’t control her emotions any longer. As she thought about the fight, all her pain and anguish resurfaced.

"She thinks I’m gonna hurt her," Willow sighed, tears streaming down her cheeks as she spoke. "Did you know she’s been researching cleansing rituals? She thinks I’m evil, Giles. That’s why she doesn’t want me. Why would anyone want someone who’s evil? But I’m not evil…I’m not! Only, what if I am? What if there really is darkness inside me and I…I’m just too blind to see it? Maybe Tara’s right to be scared. She doesn’t want an evil girlfriend. She deserves better…"

It took a moment for Giles to comprehend what Willow was saying. Girlfriend? When did this happen? Was there more to their friendship than he’d thought? Oh, of course there was!

Willow nodded gingerly, embarrassed by her revelation. "I…I do," she whispered, unable to meet his gaze. "I’ve never felt like this about anyone before, Giles…and I…I think there’s something really powerful between us…something special. But…"

"You’re scared?" Giles noted gently, reaching a hand for Willow’s shoulder. "It’s understandable. We can’t control whom we care for and…and Tara is a very special young woman. I’m sure if you talk with her, you’ll work things out."

Willow blinked away a few tears as she looked at Giles. She was surprised by his reaction. He acted as if having feelings for another girl was natural, and he seemed genuinely okay with it. Giles’ approval meant a lot to her.

"You’re right Giles," Willow stood up, her mind made up. "I need to talk to her – let her know I’m sorry. Thank you…"

With that, Willow grabbed her bag and slung it over her shoulder as she bolted out of the library. She couldn’t stand another minute of not speaking with Tara. She needed to patch things up with her now. But what if Tara didn’t forgive her? Maybe Tara thought she was a lost cause after her stint with Amy…?

Giles watched silently as Willow left the library. He’d been a little taken aback to learn of the true nature of her relationship with Tara. Yet strangely, the knowledge didn’t come as too much of a shock. There was obviously a strong bond between the two girls. He should have noticed it sooner.

Which suddenly made him even more curious as to the details of their fight. He wanted to know what had brought Tara to reveal her fear about Willow’s darkness. Well, maybe it was for the best he hadn’t asked. One shouldn’t really meddle in such things.

With a sigh, he stood up and went back to sorting out all the equipment he’d need for Breaker's Woods. It had been a while since he’d gone on a retreat and he was really looking forward to spending some time with his thoughts.

A few minutes later, Giles once again stopped packing as he heard the library doors swing open.

"Giles," Tara smiled, moving to stand in front of him. "Have, um…have you seen Willow? I…I n-n-need to talk to her. It’s important. I checked her house and the computer lab on my way over here and she’s n-n-nowhere to be found."

Giles gave her a warm, reassuring smile. "You care for one another," he began gently, "don’t you?"

"She m-m-means a lot to me," Tara admitted, lowering her gaze to the floor; allowing her hair to cover her face. "And I…I m-m-miss her already," she continued, forcing back a tear. "I…I’m s-s-scared I, uh…I w-w-w-went t-t-t-too f-f-f-far last night. I s-s-said things…d-d-did th-things…"

Tara couldn’t hold herself together as the tears fell. She’d been in tears, or on the verge of tears all day.

Tara blinked away her tears after a moment. "I’m s-s-sorry," she looked up at Giles and took a step back, embarrassed over her emotional outburst. "I d-d-didn’t mean to…"

"It’s all right Tara," Giles looked down at her tenderly. "Matters of the heart are never easy."

"But something tells me," he continued, "that this was more than just a lovers quarrel…?"

Tara nodded reluctantly, unsure of how much he knew – how much Willow had told him. "W-w-what did Willow t-t-tell you?"

"She mentioned you told her about our research and that she felt her apparent darkness was keeping the two of you apart."

Tara’s chest ached at the revelation. Willow couldn’t have been more wrong. She hated the fact that she felt that way.

Tara sighed. He deserved an explanation. But what could she tell him? How much should she reveal?

"I, um…I…I got scared yesterday," Tara began tentatively. "Amy took Willow to see this warlock called Rack but – "

"Wait," Giles interrupted. "Did you say Rack?" He’d heard of Rack from his Ripper days. He himself had gone to a dealer like him all those years ago.

"Amy took her," Tara sighed. "Willow said he s-s-scared her so she went home. But R-R-Rack d-d-doesn’t work like that. He j-j-juiced Amy and sent her back to Willow…"

"Uh, huh," Tara nodded. "I f-f-found them high up on my c-c-ceiling. I c-c-could sense the darkness in both of them. It scared me. Then Amy left and-and-and W-W-W-Willow and I had a huge fight and she s-s-stormed out. That’s when I went after Amy…"

Tara sighed as she remembered her actions. She was not proud of how she’d treated the girl. Amy was a victim herself. She must’ve stumbled upon Rack’s name in her mother’s diary and her desire for power had driven her to him. She wasn’t evil exactly, just weak. However, if Amy’s weakness put Willow in danger in any way…

"What did you do?" Giles asked gently, sensing the girl’s inner turmoil. Personally, he hoped she’d pounded the girl senseless for her actions, but that was just Ripper rearing his head. He knew Tara would never do anything quite so drastic.

"I-I-I threatened her," Tara stammered. "I used my energy to, um, to hold her and I kept squeezing her harder and harder and…I’m not proud of myself, but I choked her so hard she lost consciousness. It was horrible. I’ve never hurt anyone before, Giles. I hate violence and…and to see her lying there, unconscious, vulnerable…I just couldn’t leave here there. But a part of me wanted to …"

Tara trailed off and lifted her hand to wipe at her now tear-streaked face. She hated her dark side, and hurting Amy like she had would haunt her for a long time to come.

Giles’ respect for the young witch now reached new boundaries. He had to admit, she’d shown more restraint than he might have in his younger days.

"You mustn’t chastise yourself," Giles advised. "Just because you had a momentary urge to hurt someone, doesn’t make you a bad person. Maybe now Amy will stay away from Willow."

"I hope so," Tara sighed, giving Giles a hesitant smile. "I just wish there was more I could do to help her. I’m scared that now she’s tasted the dark energy she…"

"I know," Giles agreed. "I fear it too. And I wish the bloody council would get off their bureaucratic high horse and send those blasted books already."

"I hope we find something soon," Tara frowned. "The longer Willow remains un-cleansed…the easier it’ll become for her to succumb."

"Of course," Tara was quick to reply. "But I can’t watch her all the time. She needs room to be her own person. That’s part of what we fought about…"

"Which reminds me," Tara began to head towards the library doors, "I need to find her…"

"Thanks," Tara flashed him a wide smile before exiting the room. Her talk with him had put her in a nicer place than she’d been in all day.

Giles rushed to his weapons cabinet as Tara left, his thoughts drifting back to their conversation. The idea of Rack’s presence disturbed him. It was time to reconnect with his Ripper roots and pay Rack a visit. Tara’s threat might have worked on Amy, but that didn’t mean Rack was no longer a problem.

As he exited the library, Giles knew exactly where his first stop would be. He figured Willy’s bar was the best place to find a guide. His retreat would have to wait until he’d taken care of business.

Willow sighed as she knocked on Tara’s door for the third time. She didn’t know whether Tara was purposefully ignoring her or if she simply wasn’t in her room. Although, she knew Tara didn’t have class, or even study group right now. So where could she be?

Under normal circumstances, Willow would’ve just walked right in. However, their fight had changed things, and she didn’t feel too comfortable barging straight into Tara’s room and waiting for her to return…if in fact she wasn’t already in her room…

"Tara," she decided to plead entrance instead, "you in there?" she waited for a moment, hoping for a response of some kind. When none was forthcoming, she continued her plea. "I’m sorry, Tara…please…are you in there? Tara?" When there was still no response, Willow took the hint. ‘I guess she’s really not here,’ she sighed, stepping away from the door and moving to head down the hallway.

‘ But then where is she? Where’d she go? I bet she’s avoiding me…yeah, that’s it. She probably never wants to speak to me again. Why would she? I’m evil…full of darkness and…and I yelled at her. How could I yell at Tara? She was just worried about me. And she’s right…I’m a bad student…a bad friend. No wonder she doesn’t wanna be my girlfriend. I’m not only rude and insensitive, I’m full of darkness too. I don’t even deserve her as a friend… ’

Willow looked up from her thoughts as she reached the student lounge. She took a seat on an empty couch, deciding to hole up there for a while – wallow in her depression. It’s not like she had anywhere else to go. She always spent her afternoons with Tara.

Willow sighed for like the hundredth time that day. Her life was definitely confused and messed up. Her need for acceptance had, in a way, driven a wedge between her and Tara. She knew it was one of her biggest faults. That very fault had caused her to go to Rack’s with Amy…caused her to forget everything Tara had taught her…

After their fight, the energy clouding her mind had slowly dissipated and Willow had lain awake for most of the night. She’d come to realize why Tara had been so upset.

Sure, Amy had forced the energy into her system, but she’d nevertheless invited it. No one had coerced her to go with Amy in the first place. So why had she done it? For Tara…right? Well, that’s what she’d told herself.

However, Willow knew better. Even while she’d played with the idea that Tara was into power, deep inside she knew that accepting the gift merely gave her a sense of false hope that she could win over Tara’s affections.

It was easier than accepting the truth. Tara wasn’t in love with her and never would be. It’s why she didn’t want to make love – why she didn’t want her as a girlfriend.

Willow felt tears come to her eyes at the thought. It hurt not to have her feelings reciprocated. Tara was her everything…her family… she’d die if she lost her. What if Tara never forgave her for succumbing to darkness? What if last night was the last time she saw Tara…held her…kissed her…spoke to her…?

With that thought, Willow could no longer hold back her tears and she began to cry softly. She closed her eyes, leaned her head back against the couch and gave up. There was no point to anything anymore. She’d lost Tara forever and there was nothing she could do about it.

Her pain and despair was just too much for her to hold in. Nothing had any meaning without Tara, and ‘she’ was the one who’d driven her away…

Willow’s body was shaking so badly now, she was forced to lift her legs up and curl herself into a ball. She crossed her arms over her knees and buried her head into her arms so as to muffle the sound of her tears.

Willow startled when she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Tara?" she said gingerly, blinking the tears from her eyes as she unfurled her limbs.

"Amy!" Willow leapt up in surprise. "What are you doing here?" She furiously swiped at the tears in her eyes.

"I don’t think you should be here," Willow said nervously, looking around the student lounge anxiously. She wanted to get back in Tara’s good books and dreaded to think what the blonde would think if she saw them together.

"Relax," Amy stood up and took a step towards Willow. "I’m not here to cause trouble."

Willow shook her head incredulously. "You wanna do a love spell? You do remember what happened last time?"

"Amateur stuff," Amy brushed off the redhead’s protest. "I’m not the same witch I was a year ago. Look," she reached into her pocket and extended a piece of parchment. "It’s a slightly different spell. The instructions are all here. Take it."

"I’ll leave it here," Amy dropped the paper onto the couch. "I’m not here to pressure you. Think of it as my way of apologizing. I mean, it is partly my fault Tara’s angry with you. I just wanna make things better. That’s all."

And with that, Amy strode away. Her work was done. Even if Willow didn’t go through with it, she’d sown the seed. And it was bound to cause trouble…

Willow looked down at the piece of parchment. She knew Amy’s idea was ridiculous. She should leave the paper right where it was and go home. Instead, she picked up the parchment and stared at it.

‘I should throw it away,’ she thought to herself. ‘No need to look at it. A love spell is a bad idea. You don’t want Tara to fall for you that way. But what if she leaves you forever? She hates you right now. What if she never forgives you? What are you gonna do then?’

With a sigh, Willow pocketed the parchment and shouldered her back pack. Still of two minds, she headed out.

When she finally reached the entrance of the Magic Shop, Willow paused. She didn’t even know why she’d walked there. It’s not like she was actually gonna go through with the spell. She knew better. She just needed to stock up on supplies, that’s all. It was just a coincidence that most of them matched the ingredients on the list in her pocket.

At least, that’s what Willow continued to tell herself as she stepped through the front door.

"Blessed be," the shopkeeper greeted her. "Anything in particular I can help you find?"

Hesitating a moment, Willow eventually took out the parchment and folded it over to display the list of ingredients.

"It’s all here on the list," she explained. "Skin root, essence of rose thorn, canary feathers…"

"Aha!," the shopkeeper smiled. "A love spell. Want that old lover to come back to you? Are you sure you know what you’re doing, hon?"

Willow hesitated, becoming flustered. Saying it out loud would make it real. And she was still in denial. "No. Oh, I mean yes! I-I mean, I don’t know…I mean I do know how to do a love spell…"

Smiling kindly, the shopkeeper nevertheless began to gather the ingredients on the list. "You be careful hon," she said as she placed them onto the counter. "Think twice before you cast."

Willow smiled at the woman’s thoughtfulness. She did have a point. "Okay," she agreed. "Thanks for the advice. I probably won’t even cast anyway…"

"There you go," the shopkeeper gathered the items and placed them in a paper bag, along with Willow’s parchment. "That’ll be $17.50."

As she headed home, Willow could feel her senses tingling. On account of Tara’s instructions, she’d begun to develop her natural intuition into something more tangible and as she neared the front door of her parent’s house, she was almost certain that someone had followed her home.

‘It’s probably Amy,’ she thought to herself as she strode up the stairs and entered her room. ‘I bet she wants to see If I’ll do that spe – ’

Willow froze in surprise and dropped her shopping bag in the process. "Ta-Tara?" she stammered, crouching down to pick up its contents.

"Here," Tara smiled kindly, joining Willow on the floor and picking up a nearby bottle. "Let me help you."

"Oh no, it’s fine," Willow scrambled to shove the spell ingredients back into her bag, "it’s okay, really."

Tara furrowed her brow, sensing Willow’s sudden anxiety. What was she hiding? Looking down at the bottle of rose thorn essence in her hand, Tara began to feel a knot building in her stomach. What kind of spell was Willow trying her hand at?

"N-n-no," Willow shook her head nervously, "not exactly. I mean I was, but I wasn’t. Not any spell in particular. I was just stocking up on supplies."

Tara nodded her head, still unconvinced. "Supplies involving essence of rose thorn?"

"Uh, yeah," Willow stood up and turned around evasively, looking to avoid Tara’s gaze. She couldn’t lie to the girl, not face to face anyway.

Recognizing Willow’s tactic, Tara moved to the redhead’s side. She dreaded the pending confrontation. She was certain she wouldn’t like what she was about to hear, but it had to be done. She had to know for sure.

"What kind of spell were you planning Willow?" Tara insisted. She reached out and cupped Willow’s chin, guiding her face upwards. "Look at me," she instructed.

Willow sighed. The jig was up. She was busted. She was already in the blonde’s bad books and Tara would never forgive her for this. But she couldn’t hide the truth, no matter how hard she wanted to.

"I wasn’t really gonna do it," she pleaded, tears forming in her eyes as they met Tara’s. "You gotta believe me. Amy gave it to me," she reached into her pocket and handed Tara the parchment. "She said it would make everything better. But I didn’t wanna take it. I don’t even know why I got the ingredients. I would never have used it on you. Really. You have to believe – "

Tara held up a trembling hand. She didn’t want to hear any more. She was furious. Words could not describe the sheer anger and disappointment she felt as she glanced over the spell.

"Stop! Please, I don’t want to hear any more. I can’t believe you would – "

"But I wouldn’t," Willow insisted, reaching for Tara’s shoulders only to have the blonde push her hands away.

"But it’s not what it looks like," Willow pleaded. "I was upset. I wasn’t thinking. I got the ingredients but I would never use them. Never!"

Tara didn’t know what to believe anymore. There was definite sincerity in Willow’s tone, but there was also guilt. Even if she was telling the truth, that didn’t change the fact that the idea had been contemplated. How could someone who claimed to care for you even think about raping your mind in that manner? She’d expected a lot more from Willow.

"I expected more from you," Tara voiced her thoughts. "And even if you are telling the truth. You still thought about it."

Tears were streaming down Willow’s cheeks as Tara headed for the French doors. "Please," she pleaded with the blonde, following her outside. "Don’t leave…please."

Tara closed her eyes, allowing her own tears to fall. She couldn’t give in. She needed time to think about this.

Unfortunately, time wasn’t something either of them had much of. The second Tara stepped outside, she was pulled into an icy cold embrace by a blonde stranger.

"Spike?!!!!" Willow shuddered in fear as the vamp’s gaze met hers over Tara’s shoulder.

"I need to borrow your services for a bit," the vamp explained, tightening his grip on the blonde. "Or your mate here gets it." Emphasizing his point, he made a show of brushing away the hair around Tara’s neck and nibbling playfully.

"Uh uh uh," Spike shook his head as his grip became crushing. "We’ll have none of that."

"I came here all civil like," he continued. "I just need to borrow your services. You co-operate and nobody gets hurt."

Spike grinned. He could sense the redhead’s fear and it spurred him on. "You don’t have a choice now do you?"

With a sigh, Willow met Tara’s gaze apologetically. She was almost certain this was all her fault. The vamp must have followed her home from the magic shop. If only she hadn’t…? But there was no point in dwelling over that now. She needed to figure out a way to get Tara safe.

Spike chuckled. The plea only made him want to hurt the girl more. But he had to behave. He needed Red’s help first. Playtime could wait until after he’d gotten Dru back. And then he’d have both of them. It had been a while since he’d had a girl – if you didn’t count the shopkeeper, which he didn’t – and he would enjoy having the two of them.

And with that, he dragged the blonde forward and motioned for the redhead to follow.

"A love spell?" Willow cringed at the irony, meeting Tara’s gaze for a brief moment.

"Yeah," Spike growled and reached into his pocket for a swig of bourbon. "I want you to get Dru to love me again. You can do it right? I heard you in the shop."

Avoiding Tara’s eye Willow merely shrugged. "I’m not sure. I-I’m n-n-n-not a real witch. Not yet. I’m not sure if it will work."

"Then get sure," Spike smashed the bottle in his hand and lunged for the blonde. His patience was wearing thin.

Tara closed her eyes as the vamp pressed the shard of glass against her skin. She began to whimper softly as he proceeded to scrape the glass down the side of her neck, leaving behind a trail of blood.

"Mmmmmm," Spike ran his tongue over the burgundy nectar. "Or I might forget about our deal. She’s very sweet. Where did you find her Red?"

"You leave Tara alone," Willow forgot her place as the rage began to fill her body. Nobody treated Tara like that."

"Or you’ll do what?" Spike vamped out, forgetting his own place. The redhead needed to be taught a lesson.

As Spike began to drink from Tara’s neck, Willow lost all control. She didn’t stop to think of her limitations or their situation. The only notion running through her was to save Tara. With that, she reached deep inside herself and invoked the last remaining shred of dark energy given to her last night. Her eyes turned black, her body became weightless and before Spike could taste another drop, she’d placed her hands on either side of his face and forced him up into the air.

Tara looked up in shock and fear as Willow started to drain the vamp of his energy. She continued to watch in silence as the vamp eventually ceased struggling. However, Willow continued to consume.

"Willow," Tara pleaded. "S-s-stop. You’ve had enough. He’s out cold. Please…"

Through the haze of power, Willow could barely make out Tara’s words. She’d never drawn out someone’s energy. Never even knew she could do something like that. But when the darkness had engulfed her, it was like she no longer had control of her own actions. This wasn’t ‘her’ taking Spike. This was something else entirely. Something powerful and seductive and it was taking her along on a magickal journey far far away…

However, as Tara continued to call out her name, a part of Willow couldn’t help but respond. The blonde was her touchstone. She was doing this for her. Not for herself. She had to find Tara. Had to get back to her. See if she was all right. She had to fight it.

And with that, Willow let go of Spike’s face and crashed onto the floor alongside him.

"Willow," Tara knelt beside the redhead in concern. "You all right? We have to get out of here."

Unable to speak, Willow nodded mutely. She was still struggling to regain control.

Sensing this, Tara reached for Willow’s arm and slung it over her shoulder. "Come on," she prompted. "Lets get out of here."

When they were both safely inside Tara’s dorm, Willow curled up on the bed and began to cry. "I’m so sorry," she sobbed. "I was so scared. I saw him – Oh gods, he could have killed you. And it’s all my fault. I should never have taken that stupid spell from Amy. Should never have let her talk me into seeing Rack. I was so stupid. So weak. I bet you hate me. I wouldn’t blame you if you did. I hate me. And I couldn’t stop. If it wasn’t for you, I don’t know where I’d be. All I could think about was tasting more. Getting more power. And then I heard your voice. My angel. My touchstone. You guided me back. But you didn’t have to. You should have left me there. I don’t deserve you – as a friend – as anything. You’d be much better off if you weren’t in my life – if I wasn’t in yours."

Tara couldn’t stand to listen to any more of Willow’s self-depreciation. The girl had done a terrible thing. She’d traveled down a path that could lead to her own destruction. But Tara couldn’t get away from the fact that she was in love. Willow needed her help right now, not her judgment.

"It’s okay," Tara joined the redhead on the bed and placed her hands against the girl’s shoulders, guiding her head down to her lap. "Shhh sweetie," she soothed, running her hand tenderly through her friend’s hair. "It’s okay. I’m not mad at you. I understand. And we’re going to get through this. You and me. Together."

"Why?" Willow sobbed. "Why do you still wanna be with me after all that I did – wanted to do? You should be long gone by now."

"Oh Sweetie," Tara blinked back a tear. "How could I leave? You don’t leave someone you’re in love with just because things get difficult."

Willow froze at Tara’s words. Did she hear her correctly? "Y-y-you’re in love with me?"

Tara nodded as Willow sat up and met her gaze. "Of course I am," she said softly, her pulse racing at the revelation. She hadn’t meant to be quite so open, but know that the words were out there, she couldn’t deny them. "How could you not know that?"

Willow shrugged as tears flooded her cheeks. "I – you – I…I never thought you could…I mean you never said…you never wanted to…you were always pulling away. I just thought…"

Tara was a little surprised by Willow’s thought process. "Why do you think I kept pulling away? I love you so much Willow. I couldn’t let us do something we weren’t ready for. Making love isn’t supposed to be one sided you know."

"Wait," Willow lifted her hand to Tara’s cheek. "You thought I wasn’t in love with you? That it was just…? Why do you think I kept acting like a crazy person? Only love can make you do the whacky and I was the whackiest. I’m in love with you Tara and I can’t control it."

Tara couldn’t believe how stupid she’d been. Why hadn’t she seen it all along? The signs were there. She’d been blinded by her own insecurity and she was as much to blame for their current situation as Willow.

"Tara," Willow tenderly stroked the blonde’s cheek. "Don’t apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m the one who – "

Willow nodded as her lips curled into a grin. "So you’re not mad at me anymore?"

Tara knew she should still be upset. Willow’s actions had disappointed her, hurt her deeply. Yet the redhead hadn’t gone through with her intentions. What’s more, she was only human after all and was allowed to indulge in an error in judgment occasionally. Besides, the knowledge that Willow was in love with her had a way of wiping the slate clean. None of the past mattered any more.

In response, Tara leaned forward and gently pressed her lips against Willow’s. The kiss quickly turned passionate as the redhead’s tongue reached for her own and their dance began. There was no holding back this time. Willow was in love with her and if she wanted to take her then and there, Tara wouldn’t complain. She wanted to feel the redhead inside her. Wanted to be joined forever in an unbreakable bond. No one outside their own world existed.

However, before Tara could act on her feelings, a knock at the door forced them apart. With a disappointed frown Tara stood up to answer it.

"Don’t," Willow whispered, reaching for Tara’s hand. "If we’re quiet whoever it is will go away."

Tara smiled indulgently. She’d love nothing better than to ignore the intruder. "But what if it’s something important?" she voice her thoughts. "We did leave Spike alone in the factory. What if he’s woken up and done something terrible?"

Willow sighed and let go of Tara’s arm reluctantly. "Okay," she smiled grudgingly.

"Xander?" she greeted her friend with a small smile. "Come in." Her smile disappeared as she noticed the ashen expression on his face. "What’s wrong?"

Willow glanced up in concern and met Tara’s gaze meaningfully. "Xander, are you all right?" She placed a tender hand on his shoulder. "Did Spike do something?"

"Spike?" Xander furrowed his brow in confusion. "What’s Spike got to do with this?"

Willow shrugged as her eyes drifted back up to Tara in question. "If not Spike, then what?"

"What happened?" Willow prompted. She wasn’t the cheerleader’s biggest fan, but she was nevertheless concerned.

"It’s all my fault," Xander continued. "I never should have given in to Faith. But she was always there. Always ready. And Cordy would never…it was never the right time. Oh god! And now she’s in hospital and it’s all my fault."

Willow struggled to comprehend Xander’s words. "What do you mean give in? You and Faith…oh…" Willow trailed off as realization dawned on her. Of all the people he could have slept with, Faith was the one that cut the most.

Seeing the territorial look on Willow’s face, Tara moved to the bed and grasped her hand. She squeezed it gently in a show of support before moving her attention to Xander.

"I ran into Faith," Xander explained. "Was on my way to the Bronze to see if you guys were there and she was outside battling a couple of vamps. She always gets uh, you know, a little – "

"I know," Willow interjected, unable to keep the bitter tone out of her voice. "Hungry and horny. I was there when she told us, remember?"

"Willow," Tara gave the redhead an encouraging look. She knew the girl hadn’t meant to sound so abrasive.

Not entirely convinced by the apology, Xander nevertheless continued. "Anyway. She dragged me behind some bushes and we started to uh…you know, um…make out…"

"And let me guess," Willow interjected. "Cordy walked passed and caught you in the act?"

Xander nodded guiltily. "Eventually. But not before I told Faith it was the last time. I couldn’t do this anymore. I love Cordy. Me and Faith were through. It was like a goodbye…and it was the worst possible time for her to catch us."

"Cordy ran off before I could explain. I ran after her but she tripped on a rock and fell onto a jagged tree branch."

"I hope so," Xander struggled to maintain composure. "She’s got a few broken ribs and the doctors say the branch just missed her heart. Any more to the left and she wouldn’t…"

"It’s okay," Tara soothed, placing her free hand on his shoulder. "I’m sure she’s gonna be all right."

Despite her issues with Faith, Willow nevertheless felt for Xander. If anyone could understand his situation, then it would have to be her. She too was responsible for hurting someone she loved because of a stupid mistake.

"Yeah," Willow returned her own hand to Xander’s shoulder. "Tara’s right. She’ll be okay."

"You wanna stay here the night?" Tara ventured. She could see the guy didn’t wanna be alone.

"I wanna go see her," he explained. "But the doctors won’t let me stay past visiting hours…"

"It’s okay," Willow soothed. "We’re here. We’ll keep you company, right?" she glanced up at Tara.

And with that, the threesome sat in the small room all night, not really talking or sleeping, just being there for one another. Much as Willow and Tara wanted to discuss the status of their relationship, they were in no hurry. Not now that they knew their feelings were reciprocated. They were more than happy to wait for a moment alone. The future was theirs.

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A Fluke Between Two Wiccans

By SpikeMe4Now4200

Copyright © 2004

Spikeme4now4200@yahoo.com.au