Nothing Else Matters by SithLordWiccan

Rating: PG
Disclaimer: : I own nothing about this fic except for the idea. The characters belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.
Distribution: The Mystic Muse: http://mysticmuse.net
Through the Looking-glass, The Kitten Board
Feedback: Oh, pretty please. I live and die by the feedback I get.
Spoilers: Seeing Red.
Author's Notes: this fic is going to be rather preachy and philosophical. If the nature of life and death is something that bothers you, don't bother reading. And don't send me any hate e-mails, either. I'll just end up deleting them. I think it goes without saying that there will be character death involved in this fic. Many thanks to Emms for the helpful beta comments and suggestions.
Pairing: Willow/Tara

Summary: The love between Willow and Tara knows no boundaries…not even life's greatest boundary.

Granted, she was not used to being alone. For much of her life she was very much the proverbial wallflower. She was the kid that others would throw rocks at in Kindergarten or the kid who wore eyeglasses that didn't get invited out on dates or to dances. Even her high school prom, normally a night that every teenager looked forward too, was a time of great pain for her. It was at that time that her mother had succumbed to the cancer, and left her alone to tend to her father and Donny.

She had been glad to leave them, and was even happier to have met Willow. That made their separation even more difficult to bear. But she had to do it. It was the only way that Willow could be convinced to kick the magicks.

Their reunion had been a moment of bliss, one that neither of them would forget. But that's what made her current emptiness all the more unbearable. The world around her was dark, which in and of itself was unnatural in that there was no such thing as true darkness. There was always a small, even insignificant spark of light that pierced through the black emptiness that shrouded the world. But no such light existed here. As she breathed, she could feel the stale air inside her lungs, dry and brittle, sapping the life bearing presence that had been so familiar to her. What did little to sooth her soul was the fact that there were no sounds. That too gave her cause for alarm, as there was always something making noise, from tiny insignificant noises like the trickle of water from a leaky water faucet to the unmistakable and overtly blunt like roar of a car engine traveling down the road. Tara always found comfort in the sounds going on around her, even if they usually consisted of her father, brother and Cousin Beth tormenting her. It gave her comfort to know that she could still feel and hear the world around her, and that she was not as soulless as her family.

But there were no sounds now. There was no light. There was no life. It was just her. Alone. Without Willow. And it made her despair more than anything. For Willow to be taken from her in such a manner was the height of cruelty. Had she known that this would happen, Tara would have stayed and been there for her. Life was so fleeting, and every moment counted.

Sinking to her knees, Tara buried her face in her hands as she silently wept. She wanted to howl at the injustice that she had been served, but the urge never came. And even if it could, she would never curse the life that had led her down this path. She figured that it was some kind of cosmic joke, the Goddess tempting her with what she wanted most, and then taking it away from her as she was starting to feel good about herself.

Tara couldn't believe that the Goddess would be so cruel. There was always a ray of light at the end of the tunnel, a spark that would, no matter how small, shine brightly against the darkness. But the darkness of the world around her pressed against her heart, threatening to crush her chest and drive the life from her. She did not want to go on existing. Not if it meant being without Willow by her side.

The voice, breaking through her despair and bouncing through her eardrums, caused Tara to look up and take in what could only be described as the impossible. Floating above and slightly in front of her was the heavenly vision of Willow, cloaked in a long white robe that made the sharp crimson of her hair stand out as brightly as if her head was aflame. Like the phoenix from the ashes, she glided down from her perch and swept down towards Tara, coming to a stop beside the weeping blonde and moved to run a hand through her long golden curls.

Tara shrugged off the offered touch. It couldn't be Willow. This had to be some sort of a trick. "Leave me alone. You can't be Willow."

"Don't touch me," Tara sniffled. Whatever was going on, she would not let it affect her. Willow had been the only source of good in her life, and she would not allow her image to become tainted by this game. She owed it more to Willow more than herself, who no doubt was in as much pain as she was. Perhaps more.

Tara looked at Willow, confused as to what she was talking about. The matter of fact way in which her lover had stated that surprised her. If anything, she should be even more upset about what has just happened. Tara knew that Willow had suffered a great deal more this past year than she did, but she was the type that would be upset about even the smallest things. She had tried not to laugh when Xander told him how Willow had cried in kindergarten when she had broken the yellow crayon, after all. It was simply too ridiculous for her to think that Willow would find something like that upsetting.

"You can't be Willow," she said, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill forth again. The words, no matter how soothing, just had to be coming from someone else. There was no way that she could believe that Willow was here. As much as she ached for the fact that her path would take her from Willow, she would at least find some comfort in the fact that Willow would go on. And as long as she did, Tara would live on. That, for no other reason, made her doubt the scene playing in front of her. "You're some demon or ghost here to taunt me with what I've lost and what I can no longer have. And after all we've gone through just makes it that much…"

The word was delivered with a force that surprised Tara. And it gave her cause to wonder why she was even contemplating believing what was going on. She must have had more serious problems than she thought if she could be seeing the perfect vision of loveliness that was in front of her. It couldn't be true…it just couldn't.

Tara shifted into a cross legged position, her face still turned away from the…whatever it was. She couldn't bring herself to call…whatever it was by the name of what it appeared to be. It would be disrespectful. Not only to Willow, but to the good times they had shared together.

Tara didn't move her head. "Why? So I can see you? See what it is that I've lost?"

Tara scoffed. "What? You m…mean to tell me that there was a lineup? And that you got there late?"

"What? That you had enough of me? That I was no longer deserving of your love? That you couldn't deal…?" Tara said this with more anger than she had any right to feel, but she did not care. She would not allow this…whatever it was to taunt her. Her life had been one long painful agony of tricks and games and bad memories. She wouldn't allow the one thing that had brought joy to her life to become tainted.

It was then that Tara became vaguely aware of the fact that the…whatever had collapsed to its own knees as well, its back turned to her. She heard the unmistakable sound of tears. This caught Tara by surprise, for no demon or other monster would cry at the thought of his mission to taunt her ending in utter failure.

She also heard its soft spoken words. "I tried…I tried so hard to be what you wanted, Tara. To do what I thought would help. But you were gone. And I could do nothing to help. It pained me. All I could do was lie there, holding you in my arms until I passed as well. And then I thought I would find you here waiting for me ‘cause, well, I always thought that, you know, no matter what, we'd always be together here. But…"

The weeping grew louder, and Tara realized she had made a mistake. She didn't understand the nature of what had happened, and she didn't think it was possible. Things like this were the stuff of fairy tales and children's bedtime stories. Then again, so were demons and vampires.

Cautiously approaching Willow from behind, she placed a hand on her shoulder. "Oh, Willow. I'm so sorry."

Willow sniffled. "I'm sorry too, Tara. I'm sorry I couldn't come right away. I had…things to take care of."

Willow turned her head to look at Tara, the emerald green of her eyes sparkling, providing the faint glimmer of light that Tara had been looking for. "Like I said, I tried to…you know. But I was hurt, too. And I couldn't stay awake long enough, so all I could do was…make sure I left behind something."

"Something that would let people know how much we loved each other. And how, no matter what, we couldn't be torn apart."

Tara turned away at that comment. "But we are, Willow. I…I mean, well, you know."

Tara felt Willow approach from behind, and felt her comforting touch pass from the small of her back to her shoulder. "No, Tara. I don't. How is this any different than before?"

Tara made no move to refuse the contact. No matter how wrong she knew it was, it was also good. And for her right now, feeling good was better than feeling wrong. "We're different, Willow. We're…we're no longer…"

"I know," Willow nodded, her voice showing the first signs of her acceptance to the situation. "But we're here, too. I mean, it's not like Angel, y'know? With his soul disappearing when he went bad. This is us. I mean, I don't usually believe in the afterlife because, you know, Jewish and all. And I don't think that Wicca has a belief in the afterlife either, but still…"

Tara listened to her love babble away. She could do that for the rest of her life. And she knew, as the thought registered in her head, that she was indeed going to do that. She wasn't terribly sure she was happy about that. On the one hand, she would be with Willow. On the other, and in a very real sense, she would not.

Tara turned as Willow's voice forced its way through her clouded thoughts. That was something she always liked about Willow. No matter how bad things got, she was always there to say something to make the situation better.

Willow wrapped her arms around Tara's waist. "Tara, I'll tell you this every five seconds if I have to. We may have passed, but we're still together. And now we'll always be together."

Tara couldn't help but follow Willow's actions, wrapping her arms around the redhead's waist. "Together."

As the pair moved to kiss, the faint strings of a harp could be heard. The ethereal music warmed their bodies, casting a protective shell across them that could never be broken. At that moment, it seemed as if the two souls had become fused together to form one perfect being, a being whose purity and good heart broke through the darkness around them and bathed the area in the gentle caress of its touch. The music continued, building in intensity as if to convey two different meanings behind the tones: a resounding melody to the eternal fire that their love had brought and a message that indicated that their time had come and that the next leg of the journey was about to begin.

Still locked in Willow's embrace, Tara felt herself begin to rise into the air. She knew that it had nothing to do with magic, however. This was an act outside of her control. She was being called to her final resting place. One thing she had been taught by her mother while she was growing up was that she could never fight or go against the power of the Goddess. It was as true now as it had been when her mother had died.

Even with the positive nature of the situation around her, Tara could not help but think of the negative, as small as it seemed on the surface. They were leaving behind so much. Buffy. Dawn. Giles. Xander. Even Spike. The Magic Box. UC Sunnydale. Children. A family. They were both giving up so much.

Willow rested her head on Tara's shoulder. "They will. They'll grieve for a while first, but that is their nature. All things die, and even though it is an inevitability, it still hurts when it happens. But they will move on. And as long as we live on in their hearts, we can never die."

Tara felt Willow squeeze her waist, and looked down to find her eyes watering with the tears that she had obviously been hiding and was only now allowing to flow.

"It's OK, Willow," Tara said as she ruffled Willow's hair. "I'm scared, too. But we're going home now."

Willow sniffled and blinked, trying to control her crying. "I know. It's just that…Buffy…Dawn…Xander…Giles...We're leaving them behind. I'll miss them. Fighting evil with Buffy…watching after Dawn…doing research with Giles…hell, I'll even miss Spike."

Their laughter subsided to a chuckle, then finally collapsed into a sigh as both Willow and Tara rested their heads on each other's shoulders, hands firmly locked around their waists, as if they could not bring themselves to come apart.

"For now," Tara reassured Willow. "Someday, they will join us. And then we'll all become one with the world. "

Tara nodded and gave Willow a squeeze. "But for now, it's just us. And knowing that you're with me makes me..."

In a town like Sunnydale, incidents that were considered none of the public's business were usually covered up. If no one had to know, no one needed to know. But that day, there must have been someone looking out for the occupants of the wrecked 2003 Mazda RX-8 that was sitting on the side of the road, as the local news media was reporting about it within minutes.

The car had been traveling down one of Sunnydale's many streets, on its way to the market to pick up that week's groceries. The two occupants were identified in the media as Willow Rosenberg and Tara Maclay-Rosenberg, who were famous among the Sunnydale community for being the first same sex couple the state had seen since the law that legalized it was passed.

When attempting to pass through an intersection, however, the car was subject to a serious sideswipe with another passing vehicle and spun out of control, slamming into a nearby lamppost. Autopsy reports later identified that Tara, the driver, had died on impact, with Willow succumbing to internal injuries some time later, her arms draped across her lover in a clear display of affection.

The funeral was held a week later, attended by the pair's friends and family. The only ones not to attend were Tara's blood relations, who did not respond to the invitation to attend. The elder Maclay was later quoted as saying that "they did this to her, and so they deserve what they have coming to them. I feel no sympathy for them. If they had allowed us to take her away, she wouldn't be dead now."

The mortal world may have grieved for their passing, but their spirits live on. Not only in the hearts of those who knew them, but within the Earth's sphere, as well, along with every universe, reality and dimension.

For they have become part of the universe. And the energy of the universe would never fade.

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Nothing Else Matters

by SithLordWiccan

Copyright © 2006

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