Needle in a Haystack

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: I do not own anything relating to Buffy the Vampire Slayer and I do not mean to infringe on any copyrights. I am not making any money from this. Any original ideas however are mine.

Distribution: http://mysticmuse.net

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Feedback: Constructive comments are always nice.

Pairing: Just Jenny

Where does one start to look for a vampire with a soul? How the hell should I know! They send me on a mission "of great importance to our people" but only give me the smallest scrap of information as to where to look for him—Sunnydale. Vague much? The rest I have to find out for myself. Yeah right! It's not as if I can go to the tourist information center and ask "hey, could you point me in the direction of where I could find a vampire with a soul called Angelus, please?" Yeah, I can see that landing me a nice vacation in the local loony bin. Where would a vampire hangout? The cemetery? Or is that just in badly made horror flicks? Where would the undead with a soul live? A crypt? Jeez, I hope he doesn't live in a sewer, I so don't want to go down there. And say I find him, what then? "Watch him" they tell me. What, with an anorak and night vision binoculars? This is crazy. And what if he sees me stalking him? What do I do then? What do I say? "Oh, hi, nah, you don't know me but I believe you know my ancestors! You killed 'em." Or, if he asks me "I've noticed you watching me, do you want something?" how am I supposed to answer? "Yeah, in a way. Not me personally, but my family want revenge." See, this is crazy. It's badly thought through. How can this be seen as an honor by my people? An honor? More like a frickin' punishment! If they want to honor me, couldn't they like give me a trophy or something? Or maybe a nice new shiny laptop computer? That would be good. And much more appreciated than being sent to watch some vampire. If I wanted to watch a vampire, I'd rent a movie. Talk about getting the short straw! Speaking of movies, maybe I should rent some of those 007 movies if I'm going to be a spy for my people? You know, learn from the smoothest, if I'm supposed to get with the whole undercover gig! Shame I don't have a Q. ~ Laughs ~ Yeah, I can just see Uncle Enyos as Q, handing me over a red sports car with cool gadgets—not. Bond gets an Austin, and look what I get—an old VW. Very secret agent, huh! I'll be lucky if it doesn't breakdown on me while I'm tailing him! And am I meant to wear some stealthy black catsuit when I go looking for him? And pack a gun? No, wait, a gun's no good against vampires. I'd have to pack a stake. ~ Laughs ~ It's a good job I'm not a guy! If I was spotted prowling around at night by a cop and was stopped, it'd be like, "Have you got a gun in your trousers or are you just pleased to see me?" "Neither, I'm just packing a stake." ~ Looks thoughtful ~ Maybe that's why my people picked me, because I'm a woman? ~ Shakes head ~ Don't be stupid, that scenario is total crap. Look, see what this assignment is doing to me! Messing with my imagination and totally wreaking it. Vampires? And with souls at that? This just can't be real? ~ Pinches self ~ "Ouch!" Nope, not dreaming. Maybe I'm in a movie? Yeah, that's right, maybe I'm in a movie and have got really into my character? ~ Looks around ~ A TV show maybe? ~ Doesn't see any cameras ~ Okay, a reality TV show? Please? Jeez, my life sucks!

The End

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