A Firm Foundation by Red Willow

Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: All characters and reference to belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and all them other peeps. I'm just using them to make my own fun. Girl/Girl lovin', you no like, you no read. All story ideas and other than BTVS canon and any (if at all) original characters are solely from my warped little mind.
Distribution: The Mystic Muse: http://mysticmuse.net
Um...ask.
http://www.papa-bear.com/RW/
Feedback: Go for it!
Pairing: Willow/Buffy

Summary: Consequences erupt and drama ensues. Sequel to Filling in the Gaps.

The sun stretched across the lawn in broken streams through the trees, warming our content bodies as we lay together on the wooden lawn chair. There was a light breeze in the air that carried with it the scent of fresh cut grass and memories of simpler times, childhood, and tree houses.

She tightened her hold on me, flexing her fingers into my welcoming back as I tossed my leg over hers.

"Hold me forever." I told her suddenly, not really sure where that had come from, but I knew it was what I wanted.

"Forever." She nodded, touching her lips to my forehead. "I'll love you forever, and I'll never let you go." She finished, placing feather-light kisses across my brow, my nose, cheeks and chin before finally resting her lips fully on mine.

We kissed, slowly, playing with the soft flesh of lips and tongues, breaking away only to return again and again, teasing and tempting.

Again, we settled comfortably into the forms of each other's bodies, my head on her shoulder and her cheek on my head. Arms wrapped lovingly, securely around the other, knowing nothing would break us apart in our happiness, our love that took six years too long to discover, accept, and push forward.

I shifted against her, pulling myself up again to look into her eyes once more. She smiled, a light laugh playing at the back of her throat as she trailed her fingers in lazy figure eights around my stomach, her warm hand spreading heat through me.

"Exploring, huh?" I dipped my head down, catching her lips lightly, holding them for the briefest of moments before pulling back again.

I felt her fingers slide gently over my ribs where she stroked in slow even movements, tracing the curve of my breast. Closing my eyes, I arched back slightly, feeling the familiar stirrings of desire begin its pulse.

She grinned, continuing with her light strokes that seemed to rise up, covering more soft flesh before again dipping down. Teasing, always teasing and tempting me with her fingers, lips, her entire body, and I could never get enough.

"A-and why are you..." I paused as her fingers left my breast and traveled down across my stomach, circling and scratching with her fingernail. "Uh... thinking...thinking about a cookout?"

"'Cause...we could have everyone over..." She leaned up and pressed her lips against my neck, leaving a tiny trail of kisses before reaching my ear. "And we could...tell them."

I looked down at her in surprise. I was all for telling everyone, but Buffy had wanted to keep it quiet, let us settle into each other before announcing to all our friends that, not only was Buffy into girls too, but that we were together, and so soon after Tara. I knew there would be a lot of questions and a lot of unwanted attention paid to our personal lives. I could just see everyone assuming that I was just on the rebound and Buffy was still reeling from being brought back. I know it sounds stupid, but I could just here Xander assuming that the spell went wrong because Buffy was gay, and that somehow I made her that way. I love Xander to death, but sometimes...

She nodded before sliding her hand out from under my shirt, only to scratch her fingernails along my thigh and down toward the hem of my long skirt. I shivered at the rough touch.

"A-are you sure?" I asked again, bringing my hand flat against her stomach, spreading my fingers out over the light cotton top.

I loved the idea of everyone knowing about us, but I didn't want Buffy to regret anything. I wanted her happy and sane, not miserably stalking through graveyards to beat on vampires tirelessly until they asked her to stake them. That was not a happy Slayer and I liked my Slayer happy.

I allowed a broad smile to cross my face as I lay my weight upon her again, feeling the warmth and love pour off her. I hugged her tight, bringing my leg up further to rest my knee on her hip.

We lay for a few moments in the quiet spring day, the chirping of the birds and rustle of leaves on limbs the only sounds.

"So...when did you want to have this little shindig?" I asked softly while I began my own exploration, trailing my fingertips ever so gently along her jaw line.

"Mmm..." She moaned, moving her head to the side, allowing me more room to play. "When do you think?"

I let my fingers dance down her neck, enjoying the reaction I was getting by teasing the soft flesh that I knew always got her excited.

"That sounds good." She agreed, again moving her hand along my leg. I could feel her slowly tugging up the hem of my skirt, her fingertips trailing softly along my calf.

Everyone likes chicken." I questioned, slowly starting my hand's descent across her chest.

"Fruit salad." I offered, tracing the swell of her breast before moving down to her stomach.

I felt her hand at my knee, her fingers creating soft circles as she moved just beyond it.

"You do wonderful things with fruit Will..." She whispered before she captured my lips and tempted me with a long, deep kiss.

I smiled against her lips, our warm breath pushing back and forth. "So you like my fruit salad?" I asked teasing her.

She kissed me again, pushing her tongue past my parted lips. I met it with fervor, sucking it in, tasting and tangling until we broke off giggling.

"Cherries?" I asked before kissing along her cheek. "Oh yeah..." She nodded before letting out a soft moan as I flicked my tongue against her earlobe.

"Uh huh..." She tilted her head to the side and allowed for me to continue teasing her with my lips and tongue.

Talking soon became a distant memory as our hands and mouths began serious exploration of each other's bodies. I kissed and licked my way down her neck while allowing her hand to travel up my thigh, her fingers dancing in random patterns that made me heat up, while turning my skin into chill bumps at the same time. I slid my hand under her shirt, not wasting any time to reach her breast where I cupped gently before skating my thumb across the satin clad form. She arched into the touch as it elicited a soft moan.

I brought my body up, letting her guide me into a more comfortable position as I straddled her waist, my skirt pulled high on my thighs, yet still flowing out behind me, covering her legs. In an instant both her hands were on my thighs, kneading the flesh, and pushing the pulse within me out into the open.

I looked down into her eyes, seeing the lust and devotion coupled there, calling me further into her as if I would be anywhere else. Both my hands on her breasts, soft yet firm flesh yielding to my touch, I watched her lips part and her eyes fight against her need to see me.

I bent over, keeping eye contact, and licked her bottom lip gently; slowly tasting her, before slipping inside where I've spent many hours deeply nestled, gently roaming and memorizing. She caught my lips, met my tongue and back and forth we fought for dominance, knowing neither of us wanted to win.

She moved one hand out from under my skirt only to return it under my shirt where she roughly drug her fingers across my heated skin, up towards my breasts and in a sudden rush of pleasure I arched back, away from her lips as her fingers caught my nipple, tightened and tugged. Being the thoughtful soul that I am, I returned the favor until we were both pinching and rolling erect flesh between our fingertips and soft moans filled in the empty spaces around our heads, drowning out the birds and the sway of branches.

She opened her eyes, having previously lost her battle against her reflexes and looked up at me, smiling.

"M-maybe...maybe we should take this...upstairs." I suggested, aware that her other hand had found its way to my inner thigh where it stroked softly too close to tender throbbing flesh.

Her fingers were driving me insane. One hand alternated between breasts, pushing and pulling, squeezing, pinching and rolling my nipples until they ached, ached for more, ached for more of her everywhere. Her other hand tugged at the wet material between my legs, causing me to quiver above her as she let her fingers brush daringly against my curls.

"I...I don't think I want...to..." She moaned out as I pulled ruthlessly on her breasts.

I wanted to move this upstairs, to the comfort and safety of our bed where no one would see or hear us, where we had no threat of being caught. I wanted our bodies naked and sweaty together, entangled and captured, moving in tandem.

As soon as I thought it however, a new feeling arose in me. A daring feeling, a shrug to whoever should hear us, and maybe it would be fun, to just let go, let it out in the open. I feared we'd be caught, but that fear only fueled the fire burning between my legs and in all honesty, I had to admit that, at this rate, I wasn't even sure we'd make it to the stairs.

"Y-you want to...do it...here...?" I asked, moving my hips slightly against her waist as her fingers moved further past my panty line.

"Yes..." She said, sitting up to kiss me softly. "I want to watch you...with the sun at your back, here in my backyard..."

"Y-you do?" I asked, removing my hands from her breasts to wrap around her body, holding her to me.

"Yes...oh baby..." She moaned into my neck, removing her own hand from my breasts to cup my cheek.

She kissed my neck; soft wet kisses sending tiny bolts of electricity that bypassed my brain, unable to register, spreading across my body. Dragging her tongue along slowly before scraping her teeth over my skin, she bit down before I felt her fingers find wetness and my insides melted, wanting nothing more than her touch, her body holding me tight.

"Oh...Goddess...Buffy..." I moaned, moving into her touch as she held my body to hers, her hand the only thing between us.

I licked along her neck, tasting her, something like sunshine, flowers, and candy, something Willow. I held her to me, wrapping behind her ear, my fingers entangling into her red hair that

shone even brighter in the afternoon sun, like wildfire. Centering in on her pulse point, I licked, teasing the flesh there with my tongue before dragging my teeth over her wet skin, preparing her for what I was about to do. She was mine now and I would mark her as such, I always did.

Bare, wet skin met my fingers as I sneaked them under her panties. Spread and straddling me, I could easily feel her sex. She was so wet, and as always I wanted nothing more than to bury myself within her, live there, an eternal source for her pleasure.

Biting down on the soft flesh between my lips, I ran my fingers up along her wet sex, my fingers circling her hard button before plunging deep within her.

"Oh...Goddess...Buffy..." She moaned against my ear as I eased off her neck, gently licking the bruised flesh.

I curled my hand up and into her body, massaging the walls of her sex as she rocked forward on her knees, rocked against me, rocked against my touch. Her hair hung forward as she leaned further into me, supporting herself by her hands that rested on either side of us.

"Oh Buffy...I love you...love you too!" She spoke fast pants as she rocked faster in time to the rhythm of my stroking hand, hips pulling back almost entirely before crashing down again.

"You feel...so good..." I groaned arching up against her body as I held her around the waist and kissed down the length of her moist neck.

"N-no...Oh God! I...I think you...win-ohh!" She shouted the last word, turning it into a long, drawn out cry as the waves of her orgasm smashed through her body.

Willow shook and shuddered against me, her legs tight around mine as her hips slowed their movement. I stroked her sex slowly, letting her come down from her high, but allowing her the opportunity to continue in her journey if another was her desire.

I pushed bright locks of red out of her face, tucking the strands behind her ear so that I could look up and marvel at my Willow. She's my everything and I'd be nothing without her.

She was glowing and her face was damp from her exertion. She had this cute smile on her face and a twinkle in those deep green eyes I find myself lost in whenever I look at them.

"So are you." She assured me and I smiled up at her before leaning in for another kiss that set my heart ablaze and my body into overdrive.

"Mmm...Goddess what you do to me." She left tiny kisses along my lips, my nose and forehead.

"Oh yeah?" "Uh huh." She nodded and stole another kiss, demanding entrance into my mouth with a probing tongue.

We kissed, deeply for a few moments, tongues sliding over and around the other, tasting and memorizing.

"Oh...what you're not enjoying the afternoon?" I asked, teasing her with an arched eyebrow.

"No complaints so far, but..." She licked the length of my ear. "I want you naked, Slayer."

I love when she does that. She uses this demanding tone, this take charge give me what I want tone that makes my blood boil and my skin tingle in anticipation.

"You do, huh?" "Oh yeah..." She whispered against my ear, the warmth from her breath sending shivers through my body landing directly in my lap.

She disentangled herself from me and before I could react, she was halfway to the back porch and there I was still, trying to get my brain to function as it continued to process the deep aching between my legs.

I ran up the stairs, shedding off my top and bra on the way. Behind me I could hear Buffy laughing as she took the stairs, hopefully shedding her own clothes at the same time. Thankfully we still had a couple hours to make love and clean up before picking Dawn up from school as we had promised to take her to the mall.

I let my skirt fall to the floor just outside her bedroom, and stepping out of my sandals, was left in only damp cotton panties.

Buffy appeared in the doorway a moment later; bare from the waist up. She kicked off her shoes and went to unbuckle her belt, a giddy smile plastered across her features.

I stopped her rushed movements with my hands, softly pushing them away as I met her gaze. Smiling, I slowly slid the leather through the silver buckle, separating the two before moving to the button on her fly.

"I love you." She whispered, her breath finding my cheek just before she let her lips linger there.

I noted the shiver that went through Buffy's body as I let my finger slide along the jean material against her as I slowly slid the zipper down. Kissing along her jaw line, I let the pants fall and she stepped out of them, kicking them to the side. I cupped her sex, soft lace between my hand and her heated center.

Her lips were on my shoulder, soft kisses followed by rougher bites. The feeling was overwhelming and I felt the flood of arousal once more.

I wet my lips and drug them slowly down her chest, licking lightly at the erect flesh presented before me. Swirling my tongue around before dragging my teeth over her nipples, I sucked one dusky peak into my mouth.

She laced her hand into my hair, holding the back of my head to ensure my continued ministrations. The taste of her flesh, an intoxicating blend of jasmine, aloe, and something else. Something like clean sweat or adrenaline. Barely parting my lips, or my teeth, I freed her breast.

"Oh...God!" She moaned again as I caught her nipple between my teeth before letting it go completely.

Dropping to my knees, I kissed along her tight stomach, dipped my tongue to tickle her belly button, and slid my hands up her solid thighs to her waist. I hooked my fingers into her panties and slowly, almost torturously, pulled them down, revealing the trimmed mound of curls before letting them slip completely to the floor.

Her hand on my head again, I leaned forward and pressed my face against the soft thatch of light brown hair, inhaling her deep rich musk.

I grinned against her, knowing how much she enjoyed this. That wasn't surprising though, as she thoroughly enjoyed everything we did together. At least once a day we found ourselves clinging to each other in the throes of passion, whether at home or not, and that was something that had shocked the hell out of me. I never knew Buffy was so passionate at least she never talked much about it. Me, though, between Oz and Tara, I've done it all over Sunnydale. From what I could gather, Buffy and Riley mainly stuck to his bed, aside from the few times they had done it in hers.

All that was quickly changing now, however. In the past few weeks we had managed to not only do it all over the house, but also in the training room at the Magic Box, in the alley behind the Magic Box, in the back row at the movie theatre, outside and inside of Tara's friends' apartment building, over poor Mr. Hammel's tombstone, and now we could add the back yard to the mix. It's too bad we blew up SHS; it would've been neat to do in the stacks of the library!

I moved away under her protests, only to return, trailing soft kisses reverently along the toned and tanned muscles of her thighs, sweeping my tongue gently in and out of my mouth against the soft, yet firm flesh, moving closer to her dripping center, before backing away again. I was driving her crazy and I loved every second of it.

"Willow..." Buffy moaned my name, her legs beginning to shake gently as I neared her burning center once more, before taking my mouth away.

I smiled against her thigh, bringing my face back closer, hovering there against the soft curls before finally darting my tongue out to touch the slick part in her lips.

Above me, a deep throaty groan emerged from Buffy as her hips jerked in response, in appreciation, silently begging for more.

Abruptly I stood up, catching one stiff nipple between my fingers, surprising my Slayer out of her close-eyed anticipation.

She followed me to the bed obediently and waited for further instructions. I laid down on the bed face up, my body fully extended in font of her.

She slid them down my legs slowly, making sure to let her fingers roam teasingly over my skin, which sent tiny shivers of delight throughout my body. We caught each other's eyes, smiling, adoring each other in the dim light of the unlit room. The only illumination was the pale yellow glow from the diffused sunlight that filtered through the drawn shades.

"Come here you." I told her crooking my finger in a come hither gesture. "I want to taste you."

A wide grin graced her lips as she crawled up the length of my body, dropping light kisses along my thighs, my stomach, breasts, chest, and cheeks. She wiggled around above me, getting situated with my steady guidance.

Looking up I could see her wet sex open and inviting, waiting for my touch. Every tiny curl seemed to gleam with her juices, her labia slick, almost dripping.

It was moments like these, when the anticipation was high for both of us, one waiting for the sweet sensation of pleasure, the other on the verge of ritual devotion, that odd thoughts would enter my busy brain and I'd have to smile at the absurdity. There I was, with the woman I love, her soaking pussy hovering a mere few inches from my mouth, her hands already gripping the headboard, I had no doubt, and I was thinking of freshman health.

I remember Mrs. Ferrera describing the female sex organ. 'This is the Labia Majora, this is the Labia Minor. This is the vulva, the clitoris, the...' And so on. I pictured myself in my little mousy dress, with my very long hair, taking notes in my blue notebook, drawing color coordinated diagrams. I wonder if playing health teacher with Buffy as the example was something we could enjoy in the future. I had to smile at myself, the things I came up with.

Reaching around with both hands, I pulled her body closer, easing her down onto my face, breathing that pungent musky elixir, that intoxicating, solely Slayer scent. I'm always hungry for her, opening and spreading those swollen lips with my mouth, my tongue and teeth, driving in further.

Loud 'Yesses' and 'Gods' reached my ears, muffled faintly by the strong thighs encasing me as I delved further with my tongue, lapping and swirling against Buffy's own movements. Tasting and smelling her, all of her as she moved against my face, moaning my name, approving every long stroke, every nudge, and nibble.

"Oh...right there!" She yelled, throwing her hips against my face quickly in anticipation of her orgasm.

immediately, which was followed by loud grunts in frustration. I only grinned against her and flicked my tongue against the hard nub between my lips, hardly touching it.

I chuckled lightly and without warning plunged two fingers into her; sliding in as far as they'd go. At the same time I sucked her engorged clit back into my mouth, only able to keep her steady with one arm as she thrashed against me.

"Oh holy...shit!" She screamed as the orgasm crashed through her body, sending her hips into erratic jerks and pulls.

I couldn't stop though, I never can, and I knew she didn't want me to, not then, not ever. Long, hard strokes in and out of her while her muscles clang to my fingers, spasmed around them and I licked and sucked on her hard nub, pulling it between my lips, running my teeth over it, licking again and again.

"Geezus Willow!" She shouted, still bucking against my face. "Don't...you... fucking...stop!"

The bed shook beneath us, trying to keep up with the rhythm of my bucking Slayer, while I heard the squeak of the bending metal headboard. We'd already had to knock the rounded frame back into place a few times before.

Practically ripping my body in half with pleasure, the bolts of my orgasm shot through me, sending a multi-colored pattern sweeping across my closed vision. My body shook, my breasts swaying and jumping with my movement.

Before I could get a handle on my breathing, my pounding heartbeat, or the slices of pleasure still traveling up and down my body, Willow continued in her assault on my sex.

"Geezus Willow!" I shouted out, gripping the weak gold metal of my headboard, unsure if in my current state, I could keep my strength in check. "Don't...you...fucking...stop!" I panted, desperately close to another searing orgasm.

Her fingers hammered in and out of me as I squeezed tightly, holding onto them. My clit was aflame in sweet delight as she licked and sucked it relentlessly.

That's when I knew I'd lost my grip. The metal began to bend underneath my weight and the hold I had on it, twisting the metal down, out of shape.

I felt her teeth brush over me once more before she sucked me into her mouth, sucked hard. That was all I needed. My entire body tensed as my orgasm swelled up, until I was crashing against her face, barely able to comprehend what was happening.

I stretched my legs wider beside her, humping her face fiercely as the lightning strike of energy pounded through my body.

"Willow!" I called out one last time before collapsing against the frame, my hot, sweaty face against the cool white of the wall.

I was hardly aware of her leaving my body; of her body wriggling out from under me until I felt her small arms reach around me, easing me down onto the bed with her. My breathing was ragged and a fine sweat shone on my skin.

Looking at her glistening face, I couldn't help but smile. That was me on her, and she was licking her lips in satisfaction, returning my smile. I laughed, wiping my juices off her chin before cupping her cheek and capturing her lips.

"What do you think?" I asked. "You always make me feel good." I answered anyway.

I laid on my back, my arms up behind my head, smiling as the afterglow of two intense orgasms continued to wash through me.

She hooked her leg over mine and rested her head on my chest. I brought my arm around her shoulder, holding her tight, as she traced tiny circles on my stomach.

"I've been thinking." Willow said softly, continuing to create lazy circles across my stomach.

It was a good idea. We'd about destroyed the frame on mine, plus it wasn't as big as hers.

"You think so?" I asked her, trailing my fingers through her damp hair at her temples.

"Oh...well, I mean I understand if you didn't want to...it's just...with your bed...and..."

I rolled us over so that we were side by side. I took her face in my hands and kissed her deeply, still tasting me.

"Actually...I kind of had an idea of my own." "Oh! W-well...of course... whatever you think is best...I-I mean...it is your house and all."

"Baby, we've talked about this." I reminded her. "You've lived her this whole year, and now you live here with me. I have no intentions of getting rid of you and you better not leave, ever."

She wrapped her arms around me and clung to me tightly, kissing my shoulder and neck before pulling away.

"Well...sexy girlfriend of me..." I watched her smile turn into a grin before I continued, not letting her protest. "I was thinking that...we could...move into one room."

"Sweetie, we shared a dorm room...I know what I'm getting into!" I grinned, trying to conceal my laughter at her scowl.

"So I'm just like a...a best friend with benefits huh?" "But they're great benefits." I whispered, trying to pull her closer.

"I love you so much. I need you like I need air to breath." I told her, and it was true. I couldn't live without her. I couldn't be the Slayer, and I couldn't be Buffy, not without my Willow there beside me.

"Is it still being sweet if I'm telling the truth?" I asked softly, whispering in her ear.

She looked up at me, studying my face, my eyes, searching for the truth? Answers? I wasn't sure. She studied me for a few brief moments before brightening into a wide smile again.

"That's even sweeter." She said at last. "And I know what you mean." She finished, capturing my mouth again, filling me with soft kisses and whispered love.

"More?" "Oh come on sweetie," I started, sliding my thumb over the dusky peak atop her breast, bringing it back to full attention as she arched into my touch, her eyes closed. "I wasn't exactly fair to you outside...and...I know how worked up you can get after doing...that thing you do..."

"That thing I do?" She asked, her eyes still closed as I continued to slide my thumb up and over her nipple.

"Mmm Hmm...that thing." I agreed, dipping my head down to lick her earlobe gently.

I lifted it gently with the tip of my tongue before sucking it into my mouth. A soft moan escaped her lips as I did so and I felt her fingernails dig into my shoulder.

"Well..." She started, moving closer to me. "I could be up for more...if you are."

"Okay Slayer...show me what you got." She giggled, wrapping her legs around my waist.

The phone woke me up with its insistent ringing noise. It took me a few rings before I realized that my head was under the blanket, but that it was not at the head of the bed. After a bit of struggle, cursing, and waking my snoring Slayer, I managed to get to the phone.

"Oh! Darn it!" I whined, hearing only dead air at the other end of the line. "Wha-?" Buffy's tousled hair appeared first, and then her sleep filled eyes peeked out from under the cover.

"Aargh!" She groaned and flipped over, burying her head into the soft cotton of her pillow.

"Baby, you're so cute…" I knelt on the bed, running my hand along the exposed flesh of her leg as it hung over the side of the side.

"I think we should get up." I told her, knowing we'd only had a short nap, but that Dawn would be expecting us. "Don' wanna…" She whined, covering her head back up. "Fine." I swatted her butt. "Just lay there like a lazy butt. I'm going to shower." "Will…" She rolled over, looking at me through half lidded eyes. "Yeah?" "I love you."

I couldn't help but let a huge smile spread across my face. She was so beautiful, even being a grumpy, sleepy Slayer who needed a shower and a good hair combing.

When I returned to the bedroom, toweling my wet hair, Buffy was sitting on the bed, holding the sides of the mattress and tapping her toes on the floor.

"You okay?" I asked, throwing the towel on the bed and picking up her brush from the dresser. "Yep." She jumped up, dropping the sheet she'd had wrapped around her body. "Just waiting to take a shower. You were right, we should be up doing stuff." "Um… oh. Okay."

Buffy walked toward the door, naked and unashamed of her figure. She paused to kiss me on the cheek before continuing on her way.

"Hey Buff?" "Yeah?" She turned, questioning. "Y-you didn't have to wait, ya know… you coulda… just joined me." "I thought I'd give you some space." "Space?" I asked, noticing my voice taking on that squeaky, high-pitched tone it does when I get nervous or scared.

Her features softened and she came back over to me, wrapping her bare arms around me.

"Nothing to worry about, Will. I promise. I just thought you'd like to take a shower by yourself, is all." "Oh." I smiled, returning her kiss on the cheek. "Well, you still could've joined me…"

Sometimes I find myself simply struck dumb at the reality of our lives. Fate brought me to become the slayer. Fate brought me to Sunnydale in order to guard the Hellmouth. Did fate also cause me to meet Cordelia? If it hadn't been for Grand High Bitch, Queen C., would I have lain eyes on the adorable, if awkward, red haired beauty who's been my best friend all these years? Who, after enduring so many horrors because she was a friend with the "chosen one," still stuck by me, no matter what? If I hadn't met Willow, where would I be now? Dead certainly. In heaven, of course, perhaps reaping the sparkly, yummy benefits of a slayer's afterlife?

My thinking though, not so much. I would have probably died long before throwing myself off of that damned tower for Dawn. Hell, I probably wouldn't even have Dawn. She'd probably be my successor's little sis. Or their successors. Slayers don't last too long, unless they have badass witches raising them from the dead. Yeah, I'd be dead, and Sunnydale would either have a new protector, or would be overrun by demons. Without Willow, I wouldn't be here.

"Doesn't take a rocket scientist, Summers." I sighed and rolled my eyes at my inner rambling.

I finished rinsing the soap from my body and turned off the water. I heard the phone ringing as I stepped out of the tub and hoped we weren't late for picking Dawn up. I'd almost completely forgotten about taking her to the mall. Willow has this way of making my mind turn to mush and my limbs to complete jelly. Thinking about our midday love fest was giving me all sorts of new tinglies and I knew that slaying would only make it worse. Or better? Willow didn't seem to mind. She was always so eager…

I hung up the phone and turned to see Buffy standing in the doorway. She had her arms crossed over her chest and one eyebrow raised.

"Tara said she needed to talk to us… a-and something about a disc." "A disc?" "Yeah. A movie or something."

I walked toward her, momentarily forgetting about Tara's rather rushed and confusing phone call, focusing my attention on the toned muscles of my girlfriend's bare arms instead. Fresh out of the shower, her hair still damp, she smelled good enough to eat.

"Yeah… And?" She prodded, not catching my leer, or that I had other plans in mind than to talk about Tara.

I ran my hand up her arm, feeling the silky smooth tanned skin that stretched over hard muscles, and whimpered. I knew what those muscles were capable of. How she could kill demons and vampires and just about any evil force in the world, yet still come back to hold me tenderly at night.

I pouted. I knew she was only playing, though. Buffy was a force to be reckoned with when it came to sex and thankfully I was the woman she chose to focus on. I knew we were being a little sex-obsessed. I didn't care though. I had spent six long years waiting for Buffy to take interest in me, to tell me she loved me more than just as a friend, and to make love to me. Now that it had all happened, those lust filled years spent pining away for our Slayer were waiting to collect payment, in full.

"So, when's Tara coming over, then?" Buffy asked, hooking her finger just under my ear and pulling me closer.

She leaned in and kissed me, her soft lips whispering over mine and I parted, inviting her further. She pulled back, though, grinning.

"Mmm…" She licked her lips. "Willow lips." "And there's more where that came from." I told her, leaning in for another kiss.

I felt her fingers instead of her lips pressed to mine and backed away, pouting again.

She gestured with her eyes and I followed them to the green glow of the microwave's digital numbers.

"Oh. Darn it." "But… later?" Buffy questioned, hooking her arm around my waste and pulling me towards her. "Definitely."

I hadn't seen them since Case and Claire's party. I was a little embarrassed by my behavior actually. What was I thinking? They must have thought… Goddess, who knows what they thought!

So, I made Andi and Shell put the feed on a Cd and I took it. There was no way I could leave it with Andi and Shell. Its not like I didn't trust them, it's just that, well, I felt really bad about it. It was wrong for us to watch them, let alone record them. I decided to come clean and give them the disk. If they hated me for it I would just have to learn to live with it.

I took slow steps down the paved sidewalk, knowing my route well and not paying attention to the people that walked at a much quicker pace around me, eager to get on with their lives as if they knew something bad was coming to take time away from them. I had plenty of time. I knew the dangers that exist in Sunnydale and will never let those threats force me to run from place to place in fear of the end.

Of course, there was the annoying little fact that I was nervous as hell about seeing Buffy and Willow again, especially considering what I was about to give them.

I should have been looking up. I should have been watching my course and paying attention to what was going on around me.

All of a sudden I was hit hard on the right side and knocked to the ground. My bag fell open, spilling the contents out onto the pavement and I cursed as I tried to right myself.

I turned to see two teenaged boys, scrambling to gather the contents of their package as well. They stuffed their rented Dvds into their bag and without another word, turned and ran across the street.

I stood up and dusted myself off, more annoyed by their lack of concern for the woman they'd bowled over than they showed for their movies or games or whatever...

"Oh, Goddess!" I cried, turning to gather my own things. "Wait!!" I screamed, grabbing my bag and running into the street, only to have to jump back quickly to avoid a car. "Wait." I stated weakly. "My disc."

"Yep!" Buffy beamed at Willow and I couldn't help the huge smile that crossed my face, I was just so happy for them. "Oh my God! That's so awesome!"

I turned to face them, walking backwards toward the food court so I could watch them, and swung the large plastic bag back and forth behind my back.

"You sure you're okay with this, Dawnie?" Willow asked, lowering her voice. "Hell yeah! Why wouldn't I be?" I asked. "I-I just… I want to make sure…" Her and Buffy exchanged a look before she went on. "I know how much you love Tara." She finished.

"Oh I do. No doubt!" I nodded for emphasis. "But I told you before, Willow, I just want all of you happy." They smiled at each other. " And I definitely know you guys are getting your happies"

"Hey!" She pretended to be upset with me, but I could see through her lousy acting job. "I'm your sister you know." "Yeah. And…?" "So… so you're not supposed to be making those kinds of comments about my love life. Right Will?" She looked for support from Willow, but didn't find any. "Sorry, Buff…" "Besides," I chirped, cutting Willow off, "I heard you and Riley all the time!" I finished, stating that rather obvious fact. Buffy turned bright red. I loved it!

"You didn't…" "Oh look, gyros." I pointed toward the Greek restaurant in the middle of the thankfully quiet food court, changing the subject.

I sauntered over to the window, ready to give the cute guy behind the counter my order. He smiled at me and I smiled back, recognizing him from school. I hoped I didn't say something stupid and embarrass myself.

"Don't you go to-?" "Yeah!" I answered too quickly, before he got his question out. "You go to-?" "Sorry." I interrupted him again and mentally smacked myself for being such a dork. "Yeah… you're in my Western Civ class." "Mr. Marley… right."

I nodded, tapping my nails on the Formica countertop and shuffling my feet. I realized how dry my lips were and wondered if he could tell. Would he decide right then that he couldn't kiss me because I had dry lips and then never speak to me again because of it?

"I know you." He nodded and smiled, which was a good sign. "Yeah, you're Dawn, right?" "Yeah and you're Markus."

"That's what they call me." He smiled again and neither of us averted our eyes. "You going to order anything with that drool?" I jumped slightly, hearing Buffy's amused, teasing whisper in my ear.

I turned around and glared. I didn't want to be the only Summers girl not getting her groove on!

"I was just deciding." I said a bit too loudly and felt the blush creep into my cheeks. "Uh huh… I bet you were…" Buffy teased again.

Willow smacked Buffy on the arm and I stuck out my tongue at her before turning back to actually give my order to Markus.

I hung back after we'd given him our order and watched Buffy and Willow pick a table several yards away from the gyro place.

"Those your sisters?" Markus asked, nodding toward the table. "Yeah. Or, well… no. The blonde is. Willow's… no, she's not my sister." "Best friend or something?" He asked, manhandling a pair of tongues and pulling strips of lamb out of the steamer. "Yeah… or… well no." "No?" He dropped onions across the gyros and looked up to meet my eyes. "She's her… well…"

I glanced back toward Buffy and Willow where I saw them leaning close to each other. They looked like any two girls sharing a secret, except for Buffy's hand caressing Willow's knee under the table.

"Willow's my sister's girlfriend." "Girlfriend?" He looked at them and saw the same thing I did. "Oh."

I cursed under my breath. I was never ashamed of Willow and Tara and I never want to be of my sister either. People can be so ignorant.

"That's cool." "Huh?" I was sure I didn't hear him correctly. "I said that's cool." He was wrapping our gyros as he spoke. "Not many people can be so open about it. I guess they're scared. But your sister and… what was her name? Willow?"

He turned and took the cups of soda from under the fountain and placed lids on them.

"Um… a-actually… they're not out to anyone but me, yet." "Oh, yeah?" He placed the drinks on the tray and leaned over to grab straws. "Yeah." I picked up the tray, but stood there a moment longer. "How come you're… I mean I guess I wasn't expecting…" "My sister's gay." He said casually. "Oh, that's cool." I glanced up, wide eyed. "I mean… I think."

"It is, actually. She's awesome." "Cool." "You better get those over to them." He gestured toward the tray I was still trying balance in my hands. "Oh… yeah." "Catch ya later, Dawn." "Yeah… um, I guess I'll see you in class." "Yup!" He smiled wide, showing off his perfect white teeth.

I gave him what I thought was one damn sexy, smile and tried not to trip and drop the tray, which was more my style; before joining my sister and friend

I was standing at the payphone, tapping my finger against the warmed metal, counting the rings. After four the cell phone's voicemail would pick up.

"Pick up, pick up." I pleaded, closing my eyes and trying to calm the sickening worry that was washing over me.

"Hello?" "Casey!" "Tara?" Casey's voice was laced with sudden concern. "Tara what's wrong?" "The disk." I told her, my voice carrying an unsettling squeak with it. "The disk…? She paused for a moment. "Oh! The vcd… right, but… what's wrong?" "I don't h-have it." I told her, squeezing my eyes shut against the swell of tears. "You don't… you gave it to… no." Her breath hitched. "Oh Tara, what happened to it?" "Some… b-boys."

I could hardly speak. I wanted nothing more than to collapse into a tight ball and die. How could I let this happen? How could I let two teenagers make off with a disk that had Buffy and Willow making love on it? How could I even let them be recorded?! My mind was in a whirl and I didn't know what I was going to do.

"They took the disk?" She asked, confused. "Th-they ran into me. They h- had videos and I-I… I guess they w-were in such a h-hurry…" "Calm down, baby… I can hardly understand you." She told me, her voice soft, offering comfort. "I-I'm s-s-sorry…" I tried to calm myself, taking deep breaths and letting the air out slowly. "Shhh… Just calm down."

I heard her cover the mouthpiece and say something to whom I assumed was Claire.

I told her and hung up the phone. There was a bench a few feet away from the set of payphones and I took a seat, holding my bag tight as I wrapped my arms around myself. I tried to control the swell of tears from falling down my face, but it was no use. I felt sick to my stomach. There was a Cd out there, in some stranger's hands, that had my two very good friends on it, showing everything and they didn't even know they'd been recorded. What was I going to tell them? It was bad enough knowing I would have to tell them they'd been recorded and that I had the Cd. But now… Now some teenagers would see it. And what if they showed it to others? What if they sold it on Ebay? Oh Goddess…

I was still holding myself tight, rocking back and forth on the bench, staring at the ground when Casey and Claire drove up. It took Claire tapping me on the shoulder for me to even notice they were there. And all I could think of was that I wanted to die. And if I didn't figure out some way to retrieve the disk, Buffy would surely kill me.

"How's it coming in there, Dawn?" I asked, holding a pair of jeans against my legs and looking in the mirror. "Almost done." She shouted back.

Willow walked up behind me, admiring the pants I was debating on buying. I felt her hand on my butt and caught her grin in the reflection.

"Willow." I chastised playfully. "Maybe you should try them on." She suggested, indicating the jeans I held. "So you can see me without my pants on, right?" I asked, turning to catch her around the waist with my free hand. "Maybe." She whispered before catching my lips and planting a soft, teasing, kiss there.

"Its okay Buffy." "I just don't want the attention." I told her, a little embarrassed. "We don't have to tell anyone you know. I'm proud of you for wanting to… but if you're not ready-" "No!" I stopped her. "No, that's not it at all, Will."

"I just worry." I glanced toward the booth Dawn was currently trying a stack of clothes on in. "About Dawn. About you. I mean… I know you were pretty out in the open with Tara and used to… but I just…" I shook my head, unable to find the right words.

She cupped my cheek and urged me to look at her. I could see the love and understanding in her eyes.

"Do you know how confidant and in charge you are when you're ready to fight? But when it comes to love," She placed her hand over my heart. "When it comes to matters of the heart, you let your fears show. You're open and honest with me." She left a soft kiss at the corner of my mouth. "And you make me love you even more for that."

"It's a cruel world we live in, Buffy. I know you know that more than anyone." Her voice was soft and soothing. "And we're not among the most loved in our society. But I won't be ashamed of us. I won't hide who we are and I certainly won't hide the fact that I'm in love with you."

"No, I don't want to hide." I told her. "I-I know you don't. You're worried about us. I get that."

I nodded. Willow and Dawn were mine. I felt the possessive, protective part of me more often these days since Willow and I had become a couple. I didn't want Dawn getting crap at school about her dyke sister and I feared that Willow might be a target of the demon world, if they knew it was my heart she held.

"Its okay to worry. Its okay to be protective of us." She continued, knowing just what I was thinking. "But Buffy, we have to live our lives. One thing you've never been able to do freely is live your life because of all the responsibilities you have being the Slayer."

I nodded in agreement. I remembered a time when I thought I might be able to do all the things a normal girl got to do. But I was never destined to be just a normal girl.

"I'm in firm belief that you have to live your life as best, as open, and as free as you can. You've stopped holding back so much in the last month, don't start again now."

We turned to see Dawn standing in the doorway of the wardrobe room. Willow and I backed up, both covering our mouths and trying to hide the grins that had formed there.

"I'm cool with you guys doing whatever in private but PDA is so not cool." "Why? 'Cause we're girls?" Willow asked her, smirking. "No way!" Dawn shook her head. "I saw you and Tara giving the ol' tongue tango a try now and then."

Willow's face turned red and I had to chuckle, remembering how Dawn had made the comment about hearing Riley and me all the time. It was good to know that I wasn't the only one Dawn could embarrass with her honesty.

"Dawn…" I shook my head, trying to suppress the giggle. "Well, its true!" "I think it's the sister thing." I said.

Dawn and I looked at each other and nodded. I didn't want to know what she knew and she didn't want to see what I did. Made sense to me.

"Oh." Willow frowned. "Well, okay… I-I get that. But…" She looked at me and pouted. "That just blew my whole 'live life open and free' speech to bits." "Oh. No… no it was a very good speech and I completely agree with you." "You do?" She asked, perking up. "Of course."

I slung my arm around her shoulder and followed Dawn out into the main part of the store.

"We'll be who we are. And we won't be ashamed to exchange the occasional kiss and cuddle wherever we feel like it, bigots be damned." "But not in front of Dawnie, right?" "Exactly." I responded, nodding. "Okay, I can live with that."

"So, she probably wouldn't want to see me feeling you up, huh?" "Um, I'm thinking not." "Not even a little?" "Will…" My voice took on a warning tone. "I'm just teasing, Buff." She smiled wide. "I love when you tease, Will." I told her, catching the glint in her eye and matching it. "Oh, I know you do…"

She pinched my butt and ducked away from me before I could react. I looked around to see if anyone had seen us. Dawn was talking to one of the saleswomen about a top, but I could see no one else around.

"Oh, I am so gonna get you." I warned Willow. "You promise?" She teased, keeping her distance. "Oh yeah… just you wait."

Dawn came up to me and held out her hand. I turned my attention on her and raised my eyebrow.

I looked over to the one she'd picked out. A deep maroon that was cut low and dipped off the shoulder with half-length sleeves that flared out.

I looked back and stuck my tongue out at Willow. She laughed and winked, knowing full well that we'd resume the fun later on.

"You better get those over to them." I told her, motioning toward the table where those two damn fine women sat.

I watched her walk away, noticing the way her hips swayed and I looked up just in time to catch the smile she shot my way and maybe a hint of something else.

I turned to see Erick leaning in the doorway to the kitchen. He held the door open with his boot, and a smirk on his face.

"Man…" He stepped toward me. "Look… you know I got mad respect for you, but this one…" We both looked at the table where Dawn and her sister and sister's girlfriend sat. "Her sister don't play."

We were both looking at them. They were talking, eating our gyros and laughing at whatever fun they'd been up to. The blonde and redhead sat close, often leaning against each other while laughing.

"Well… I basically heard that Dawn's sister's the one to call when all the freaky shit goes on. You never heard no one talking 'bout her?"

I looked at him like he'd grown another head. I thought he must've been trying to yank my cord.

"A'ight, yo. Don't say I didn't warn ya." He turned to go back into the kitchen.

I stayed my eyes on the trio at the table, wondering if what he'd said about Dawn's sister was true. Either way, Dawn was pretty fine for a freshman and I wouldn't have minded getting me some.

"Took the room key from his bro and he grabbed 'em while I distracted the dude at the counter."

The prospect of watching a few pornos and drinking Jay's dad's beer was making my Friday night look damn good. If I could just make a hook up…

"I'll be there around 8." I told him before hanging up the phone and glancing up just in time to see Dawn and her friends depositing their trash in the bins before taking off for what I assumed was more shopping.

"Damn…" I watched the three hotties walk away from the food court and tried to push the naked, Jell-o wrestling fantasies out of my head.

Claire was trying to calm me down. She was hardly succeeding though. I couldn't stop crying, wiping away tears and snot every few seconds. I was scared out of my head, but I was also really embarrassed by my situation. My throat was sore from my wailing, which I had thankfully been able to rein in when we'd gotten to their apartment. But the crying wouldn't stop.

Case huffed and sat down in the overstuffed chair on the side of the room. I glanced at her and she looked as worried as me, minus the wet dog look. I wondered what that was all about. I was the one who lost the disc. I was the one who had to deal with my soon to be ex-friends.

I nodded. I glanced at Claire and saw worry in her eyes too, but I suspected it was just for me. Casey looked worried for all of us. She was a protector after all. Casey was like Buffy in a lot of ways, minus the supernatural slayer abilities. She had this innate need to protect her people.

"Tara. I saw what Buffy did. I mean, how she handled J.J. at the party." She shook her head. "I have to be honest and say I'm worried here."

"She w-wouldn't… I-I mean… I don't think she would…" I wiped my nose and looked down between my feet, my hair falling to cover my face again.

I really wasn't sure what Buffy would do. Or Willow for that matter. Freak, I knew. But would either of them try to hurt me? They didn't when I did the spell to hide the demon I thought was inside me. But things were different then. Willow and I were together, and I knew that Buffy would keep me around to ensure Willow's happiness. But I wasn't Willow's girl anymore. So what did they need me for? I had betrayed them. I allowed them to be recorded. And then lost the disc that had the evidence of their passion on it. And who knew what could happen to that disc!

"Look Tar, I can handle her, I'm not worried about that." Casey said, pointedly.

I glanced between them again. There was Casey's confusion and Claire's quiet observation.

"Yeah, I saw that. And she does martial arts. So do I, in case you forgot. Black belt here." Case gestured to herself.

How was I supposed to explain to them about the Slayer? I didn't want to tell them before because I knew that only a very small percent of people actually knew what a slayer was, let alone who she was. I felt I might be betraying Buffy's confidence again. But with nothing else to lose, I figured it might be wiser to tell Casey and Claire about Buffy's calling and unique abilities. Especially before Case played hero and tried to stand up to Buffy when she came calling to kick my rear end out of Sunnydale.

Both of us looked toward Claire, who sat with her mouth hanging open and her eyebrows raised. She knew what a slayer was and apparently the fact that Buffy was the Chosen One had caused quite a surprise.

"Uh C… something you wanna tell us?" Casey asked her, looking back and forth between her girlfriend and me.

"I've heard… but… I never thought." She looked up to me for further confirmation. "They're real?"

"Wow." She spoke softly, running her hand through her hair. "I really thought they were just a myth. Something made up."

"Um…" She thought a minute. "Well… if I remember correctly, something about one girl in all the world… uh… chosen to… protect humankind? I'm not sure how it goes."

I thought about this, and realized that Claire might have grown up where there was an active Slayer. Many of the residents of Sunnydale knew about the vampires and demons that frequented the night, and about the girl that slayed them, even if they didn't talk about it.

I nodded, deciding not to push about how she might know. I realized that the average person might not know what a slayer was, but it wasn't rare that someone did.

I looked at her and prepared myself for what might be a hard explanation. How do you explain what a slayer is without talking about vampires and demons and the fact that we were living on the mouth of hell? Well, one of them, anyway.

She walked with me and I could feel her breath heavy on my ear and her fingers teasing the exposed skin of my stomach.

I felt the gentle flutter of arousal washing over me, making my body flush in warmth.

"I just wanted to tell you that." She said before walking ahead of me and joining Dawn.

We were only a few blocks from the house and she wouldn't let up. I didn't know who was worse, her or me. Constantly teasing each other, turning each other on. I guess a few years of pent up lust will do that to a girl. Or two. Poor Dawn, I knew she'd heard Tara and me, but now Buffy too? Well okay, so she'd apparently heard Buffy and Riley too, but now Buffy and me as well? The girl had to be going crazy. I was her age once too, ya know. Hormones can be tricky little things. Make people do crazy things like spells. Just ask Xander. He'll tell ya.

I saw the house in sight and felt that joyful little bubble slowly rise, knowing I could touch Buffy again once we got inside and Dawn was out of sight. But then it occurred to me that we might not have time with Tara coming over. I pouted, lost in my own little world. I wanted Buffy. Naked. In the bed. Against me. Preferably using her talented tongue and fingers.

I'd followed them up the walkway not even realizing we were home. Buffy was standing on the porch holding the bags while Dawn unlocked the front door.

"Huh?" I wiped the pout off my face and inwardly rolled my eyes, wondering just how much sex one could have before they keeled over.

"Why the pout?" She slid her hand around my neck, caressing the nape with her fingers.

"Uh-uh. I saw a pout. A distinctive Willow pout, which is very cute, I might add, but still… I want to know what's up."

"I want you." I told honestly, leaning against her and looking into her eyes. "But I can't have you yet."

"I want you too, baby." She kissed my cheek and whispered into my ear, "Maybe a quickie?"

She nodded and I looked past her to the sky, trying to gauge the time and when Tara was due.

"A quickie." She repeated, pulling me into the house behind her. "Like when we did it in the alley behind the magic box?" She asked.

She dropped the bags and glanced around for Dawn. We heard her talking to the food she was heating up, as she had a habit of doing. That kid sure had an appetite. Sure Buffy could be a pig after slaying, but Dawn came in close seconds in the Wolfing Down Meals department. I guess being made from a slayer might do that to a kid.

"Remember how I touched you, under the table?" Buffy asked, leading me to the stairs. "How everyone was there that day and I kept putting my hand on your thigh."

Up my skirt and high on my thigh, actually. I remembered looking around to see if anyone noticed. Anya was tending to the cash register, as usual. Xander was too busy trying to cop a feel of his own to notice us. Giles was doing an inventory of new spell books. But I pushed her hand away anyway.

Five more times of her dragging those delicious fingers up my leg and placing it high on my thigh, caressing before I pushed it away and she leaned over and kissed my neck. I glanced around again and still no one noticed. We weren't out to any of them. She hadn't wanted to tell them at that point, yet she was daring to feel me up in public.

"Remember how I told you I wanted you?" She asked, not really waiting for an answer.

We were halfway up the stairs and I nodded again, my grip tightening in her hand.

Buffy had squeezed my thigh and stroked my skin with her fingers, which were only an inch or two from my dampening panties. She leaned over again, brushing her lips against my ear, which caused that light, fluttery feeling to pass over me and add to the tingle I was already feeling between my legs.

"I want you." Buffy had whispered. "I want to touch you. I want to feel you around my fingers, Will. I want to see your beautiful face when you come for me."

"And remember how I pulled you outside, with only a glance from Giles. Remember how I lifted you up onto those crates?"

We were to the bedroom and her lips were passing over my neck, her teeth nipping here and there. My hands roamed her body, squeezing her firm ass, tugging at her shirt, caressing her breast. She held me against the wall, both of us knowing we had to get into the bedroom and do our thing quickly. But we were both caught up in the memory of that day.

"Oh yeah…" I moaned, feeling her hand cup my sex and press against me through my jeans.

"'Member how wet you were, baby? How I slid my fingers into you so easily… how I fucked you hard and fast?"

She dragged her teeth across my jaw line and licked my bottom lip. Her other hand had found my nipple and was squeezing it, rolling it between her fingers.

"You felt so good, baby." She continued. "It was so hot… You were hot. Out in the open like that… where anyone could see."

I remembered how scared I was of getting caught, but not able to stop her, too worked up and in need of Buffyhand, as Tara might have put it.

"Uh huh…" I nodded, licking and sucking that tender bit of flesh on her neck where I can feel her pulse.

"Rocking back and forth on those crates, fucking my fingers and holding on to me like that…"

I moaned again, feeling my cunt twitch with the memory of our need for each other. Knowing that nothing had changed since that day. If anything, that need had grown stronger.

She caught my lips with hers and we kissed, tasting and exploring with hungry vigor. I caught her tongue between my teeth and pulled, sucking on it. I knew exactly what that tongue could do to other parts of my body. That thought made a fresh wave of desire ripple over me. But I didn't want her tongue. I wanted her fingers. I was wet, throbbing, and wanted to feel her fingers pounding into me with that slayer strength that she was always trying to keep in check.

"Bedroom, Buffy. Now." I demanded, almost breathlessly as soon as she broke the kiss.

The door slammed behind us and we fell into another crushing kiss, our hands tearing at our clothes, seeking hot, bare skin and the closest contact possible.

"You want me to fuck you, baby?" She asked, pushing me onto the bed and grabbing my undone jeans.

She loved to hear me tell her to fuck me. She loved when I begged her to fuck me harder and she never disappointed.

Our clothes were gone seconds later, pieces strewn here and there. Her shirt hung from the lamp even!

She thrust against me with her hips, grunting, our wet folds smashing and smearing. I wrapped my legs around her waist and bucked up against her. Her mouth was on my shoulder, sucking and biting. One of my hands was caught between us, rolling her nipple between my index finger and thumb, tugging on it, while the other caused half moons on her back as I held her to me.

We moved together, thrusting our hips forward and panting with our efforts. We were getting close; the friction of our cunts rubbing together and the pressure on our bellies was pushing us toward the edge.

"Bedroom, Buffy. Now." She demanded and I quickly pulled her into the bedroom, slamming the door behind us.

I pulled her against me, crushing my mouth to hers and deepening the kiss immediately. The kiss was bruising and I marveled, not for the first time, at Willow's hunger and inclination for pain with her pleasure.

I pushed her onto the bed, hooking my fingers in the waistband of her jeans and panties.

"You want me to fuck you, baby?" I asked her, knowing how much she did, but needing to hear her say it.

"Fuck me, Buffy." She looked right at me when I said that, her eyes never leaving mine.

Her words sent a shot of arousal straight to my sex, causing it to ache more. A deep ache that almost hurt. I tore at my clothes, flinging them and not caring where they landed. She did the same and soon we were both naked.

We wasted no time admiring, as we usually might. And I love to admire. I trace my eyes over every smooth line, over every curve and bend in her beautiful body. Her pale skin is a map I had easily memorized, but wanted to relearn again and again.

I felt her legs wrap around me, thrusting against me. I could feel her hot, wetness, mixing with mine as we moved against each other. I licked her, relishing the sweet taste of her skin, smelling her arousal and feeding off the pheromones she was exuding. I couldn't help but bite her and suck that wonderful taste into my mouth.

Willow rolled and tugged on my nipple, the sensation caused me to thrust against her harder, grunting into her neck as I sucked the tender flesh into my mouth, holding it with my teeth. Our movement was heated, pushing us both toward release. I needed to touch her. I needed to be inside her.

I pulled back, causing a whimper to escape from her lips. But as I slid onto her thigh I felt her hand around my wrist, demanding me to hurry up and touch her. She really is an eager little thing. I love that about her.

I slid two fingers into her easily, her juices coating my fingers. She really was dripping wet, and I wanted to take my fingers out to taste them, but we needed to make this a quickie. Well, as quickly as we could, anyway.

My thumb was on her clit. It was swollen and exposed, simply begging for more attention. I thrust in and out of Willow's hole, my thumb running up and then back down over her clit with the motion of my hand. Her fingers twisted and pulled on my nipples, causing a sweet pain that ran down into my cunt and spread out into the rest of me.

I moved my hips in rhythm with my arm. As I pushed forward and entered her with my fingers, I thrust against her raised thigh, dragging my soaked sex over the toned muscle, smearing me on her.

"Oh Goddess… Oh Buffy… Oh…" She started to chant; her eyes squeezed shut and her fingers painfully tight around my nipples.

Her hands left my breasts and found the sheets beside us, bunching them up into her little hands as she began to buck her hips more forcefully with her oncoming orgasm.

I stilled myself on her thigh as best I could, gritting my teeth. I wanted to come, but I wanted to feel her fingers on me more.

And I did. I thrust into her with three fingers. Hard, short jabs into her clenching hole over and over.

She was beautiful, her flushed body moving against me in absolute pleasure, so close to release.

"Baby! Baby don't stop! Baby… Oh!" She cried out, jerking up against me, her orgasm rocketing through her.

She clung to my fingers with her muscles but I continued to move my hand, drawing out her orgasm as much as possible. My own sex throbbed and ached, begging for attention, for release of its own.

She stilled my hand, panting and trying to regain her breath. I could feel her pulse racing and I bent to lick and suckle the spot on her neck that beat so quickly. I felt her lips on my ear, opening and pulling my lobe into her mouth, running her tongue over it. I giggled into her neck.

I looked at her, feigning innocence while bringing my hand up to my lips at the same time. My fingers were coated with her cream and I slid them into my mouth, savoring the taste of her.

Her eyes widened and she gulped. I knew I wasn't helping her get her energy back, but I couldn't hold off tasting her. I also knew how much she loved to see me lick her off of me.

The next thing I knew, I was on my back and Willow's fingers were searching out my folds, gathering her own sample to taste later.

"Oh shit…" I breathed and squeezed my eyes shut as her fingers circled and then pinched my clit, pulling and massaging it.

Her mouth found my nipple and she scraped her teeth over it before sucking it into her mouth. Sucking hard, causing me to jerk up and writhe beneath her.

Her fingers were inside me all of a sudden and I was coming, clutching her to me and bucking my hips against her thrusting fingers.

Our lips met and we kissed greedily, tongues tumbling back and forth. I took deep breaths through my nose so as not to have to break from the kiss. I knew she could taste the remnants of her release on my lips still. And I knew she loved it.

This primal strength; a need to conquer and claim. I felt it with my past lovers, but could never fully let that side of me out with them. It was a slayer thing, I knew. Faith had it. She wore hers out in the open, unhidden, unashamed. And, while I wasn't ashamed to let the slayer in me slip to the surface during sex with Willow, I always tried to subdue it the rest of the time.

Except during the hunt. The fight. The kill. Then I was all Slayer. All force. Willow loved that in me. She appreciated and admired it. Hell, it turned her on. I couldn't help but wonder if I'd find that with another lover. Was it the time we'd spent together as friends, her knowing all my insecurities and fears and secrets? The times I'd confided in her about my questions regarding my slayer abilities.

Exploring my slayer abilities to their fullest was like going through puberty again. There were so many strange sensations, desires. I had so many questions, and while I did eventually corner Giles on a few occasions to gain answers, it was Willow I shared it all with. The only thing I ever hid from my Wills was the truth of my feelings for her, and the things Faith and I had gotten up to.

But all of that was past us now. And there in my arms lay my red headed beauty, fully accepting anything I had to give.

"Already?" She rested her chin on my chest and looked up at me with those large green eyes.

She was halfway to the bathroom and I was just sitting up, testing the area on my neck that she had latched on to, wondering how bad I might have hurt her. Sometimes I left marks that took days to even fade and left her sore. She didn't seem to mind, but I worried.

"Join me?" She asked, casting me a sexy grin, her hair all tousled from our quick fix.

I was halfway up the stairs when I heard Willow chanting my sister's name. Ewww…

I mean, don't get me wrong, it was wicked cool they were together and I didn't mind them being lesbian lust bunnies, but did I need constant exposure to it? Surely this would warp my tender, young mind.

My mind was plenty warped already. Drenched actually, with thoughts about sex and kissing and sex and boyfriends and sex. But I was nearly sixteen, and my first kiss had been with a vampire who tried to eat me. And not in the good way. No, I needed a boyfriend – a human boy - to let the hormones loose on. And Markus, he sure was a cutie! But I was sure he wasn't interested in me, just being nice. And even if he was interested, he was probably like every other teenage boy at my school, out for one thing. I wonder how Buffy dealt with that. Geeze, I wonder how she dealt with Xander at my age.

I wanted something more than just fooling around in the back of a car like Tanya and Melody. I wanted a boyfriend. I wanted someone to hold my hand. To take me out. Someone I could laugh with and be myself around. Who would accept me for me. Someone who would hold me and kiss me and touch me, but if I said no, he'd understand. Okay, so maybe I was dreaming, but it was my dream, damnit.

They were going at it again, this time in Willow's room, and I wondered when they were just going to move into the same bedroom. It made no sense to me for them to be in separate rooms. They never slept apart anymore, and the last time I helped with the laundry, I found half of Willow's clothes in Buffy's room. Which reminds me, I should probably tell Will about the tops of hers I have…

So I ended up in the living room instead of going up to my room. I sat down cross legged in front of the TV and sipped on my Coke, flipping through the six channels we had over and over and… I was bored. I looked up to the ceiling and wondered if they were done. I heard them at night sometimes, like I used to hear Tara and Willow. It was different though. Not just the voices, the tones as well. I can't really explain it. It just sounded different, like there was something deeper going on between Buffy and Willow. Like, maybe all the years they'd been in love but too stupid to do anything about it was finally coming to the surface.

But again, I didn't really need to hear all that. All the time. Like, every night. Sometimes before and after Buffy went on patrol. I don't even want to think about them going on patrol together! And no one can tell me they weren't having sex during the day if they were both home, either.

"Hey Dawnie." "Hi Tara!" I said happily, glad to hear her voice. "What's up?" "Um, n-not much."

"Is Buffy or Willow there?" "Yeah, they're… uh… well they're kinda… um…" "Oh."

"Sorry Tara…" "Wha-? Oh! No… No, it's okay. I'm happy for them, Dawn. I- I'm glad they're together." She told me. "You are?" I asked. "Of course, sweetie!" "Oh, well… I just thought…" "I-I know. But really, it's all very good."

There was silence again and I knew something was going on. She didn't sound like herself. She sounded really nervous, maybe even scared.

"'Cause if you're not… well, you know we're here for you. You're still family." "Y-you're a s-sweetheart, Dawn." She told me, her voice cracking.

"'Cause you're kinda starting to freak me out here." "Oh, no! No Dawnie, I'm sorry… I-I shouldn't have… I-I'm s-s-sorry…" "Don't be sorry. Please, just tell me what's wrong. Did something happen? O-or did you get attacked? A vampire??"

I really was starting to freak. Tara never called just to cry on the phone. Who does unless something bad has happened? I loved Tara, she was like another big sister, and I wanted to go kick the ass of whatever it was that had hurt her. So, okay, I'd get Buffy to go kick its ass, but I'd watch. Or at least feel better later.

"No Dawn." She started again, "N-Nothing attacked me. Nothing like that." "Then what?" I tried again. "I w-was supposed to come over tonight and I thought I'd postpone that…" "Cool! I didn't know you were coming over."

She sighed and didn't say anything for a few seconds. Neither did I. Whatever was wrong, Tara was trying to hold it together as best she could.

"I-I'll be there in a little while." She finally said, softly. "Okay, Tara." "Dawnie?" She sounded scared again. "Yeah?" "Y-you know I'll a-always love you, don't you?"

I thought about this and the conversation we'd had soon after she left Willow. She had reassured me then that she'd always love me and would always be there for me if I needed her, and I knew she would be.

"I know. We've had this conversation before. Remember?" "Yeah, I remember. S-super sized milkshake m-monster and all."

I giggled, knowing I could eat my weight in milkshake and how surprised everyone always was when I did, no matter how many times they'd seen it.

"They're yummy!" I said, rubbing my belly. "They'll make you sick." "Never happen." I reassured her.

She paused again and I could almost picture her smiling and shaking her head at me.

After I hung up the phone I stood there looking at it for a few seconds. Tara had been crying. She was pretending like nothing was wrong, but I knew better. I heard the water running from the shower upstairs and hoped I would get to talk to Buffy or Willow before Tara came over.

I pulled into Jay's driveway a little after eight and parked behind his mom's Beamer. Sweet car. Too bad she never let Jay drive it. Not that I blame her, Jay couldn't drive worth a shit.

I pulled off my work shirt, smelled my underarms, and shrugged. If there was any chance of hooking up with someone I'd just use Jay's shower and snag some of his Polo. Done it before, no big. Figured we'd have to make a few phone calls later on.

Everyone was already there. Jay, Paul, Burr, and Wiggs, who answered the door. He let his signature grin show and pulled me inside.

I followed him through the kitchen, stopping to grab a beer out of the fridge first, before meeting the others in the basement.

"You gotta fucking see this, dude!" He said excitedly. "What's up?" I asked when we got to the bottom of the stairs.

The rest of the guys were glued to the TV, a 56 incher with surround sound. But I didn't hear anything though.

Well, except for drool hitting the floor and a couple of comments that didn't seem directed to anyone in particular.

I thought my heart was going to stop. Or my dick was going to tear through my pants.

"Wasn't one I grabbed." He said, never taking his eyes from the screen. "We ran into this girl on the way out." Jay filled me in. "I think its hers." He glanced at me and shrugged. "Think we took it when we were picking up our vids." "You ran into a girl on your way out of the Video Barn?" I asked them. "Like ran into, ran into?" "Yeah." Paul nodded. "And you picked this up?" I was staring at the screen, unbelieving. "Yeah." Paul nodded again. "And you didn't notice that it didn't have one of those big, plastic cases over it?"

I glanced at the coffee table and saw the other dvds they'd rented. They were all in bulky cases that were a standard at the Video Barn.

"Nah man…" Jay glanced up at me and shrugged. "We were in a hurry to go. Didn't wanna get caught."

Dawn's sister and her girlfriend were going at it. The red head was on her knees, head hung low, pushing back against the blonde's hand.

"Is that her whole hand?" I asked, my beer still in mine, but completely forgotten. "Uh huh." Wiggs nodded.

I looked around at all of them and then back at the screen. I didn't think any of them had recognized the chicks going at it.

"Look at that ass." Burr commented. "Those tits." Paul added. "Uh… how many times have you guys watched this?" I asked. "Four" Came the answer from all of them. "Damn…" I shook my head, not able to tear my eyes from the screen again.

The red head and blondie were pushing and pulling back and forth, the blonde's hand buried inside the red's pussy. The blonde was gritting her teeth, her muscles rippling as she held onto her girlfriend and fucked her with her hand. I'd never seen anything like it. Not even in my sister's porn collection. What we were seeing was just… just… I have no words for it.

I looked closer at the room they were in. The camera gave a pretty good view of most of the room, even though the bed was the center of attention.

I took a closer look at the dresser, the nightstand, and the boxes that sat among them.

"I know, dude. It's fucking hot." Wiggs, who was still standing beside me, commented.

Yeah, it was fucking hot. My groin was stirring, my dick twitching and I was trying to will it to be a good boy and stay down. I would have liked nothing more than to settle on the couch, drink a few beers, and watch this over and over. But the part of me that really was a nice guy just couldn't do it.

We were in the shower, kissing and holding onto each other while the soap lay on the bathtub floor between us. Her breasts were pressed against mine, sudsy still from the quick wash-down we had attempted. But there was still heat between us, still an arousal that our little quickie wasn't going to quell.

Buffy had one hand on my butt, the other cupping my cheek while I held her around the waist and pulled her against me tighter. I broke off the kiss long enough to nip at her bottom lip. She growled playfully before her mouth was on me again, her tongue slipping easily between my parted lips. I moved one hand behind her head to hold her to me while I sucked and stroked her tongue.

She pressed me up against the wall and parted my legs with hers, pushing her thigh into my sex. Neither of us said anything, just kept kissing and pressing our bodies tighter and tighter together. The hot water continued to rain down on us, but we paid it no attention, lost in each other's embrace, taste, and desire.

Buffy gripped me tighter and allowed a low groan in the back of her throat. The aggressive, slayer part of her was exerting itself again and I waited eagerly for it, relishing the overwhelming need to surrender it caused in me.

She broke off from the kiss and lifted me, turning to face the far wall. She set me back down on two feet, only to have me turn away from her. Knowing me, I probably would have slipped on the wet surface if Buffy hadn't been in total control of my body.

I spread my hands out on the wall and closed my eyes, biting my bottom lip as I felt her hands slide up and over my breasts. She caught my erect nipples between her fingers and rolled them. She licked and nipped the side of my neck before moving down my shoulder where her teeth met my skin repeatedly, backed by my slayer's sexy growls. My hips rocked back and forth as if some other power propelled them.

Then she was on her knees behind me, her hands on my butt and her mouth doing wonderful things to the backs of my thighs. I could feel the spray of the hot water bouncing off of Buffy's shoulders as she moved from one thigh to the other, and then one cheek to the other as well. She was Kissing, licking, and nipping until she had me spread and pulled forward, my back arched, so that our shower water didn't go to waste. The water hit the small of my back and ran down between my cheeks where Buffy's talented tongue began to move against me.

I was whimpering and moaning, my knuckles growing white as I tried to grip the smooth, tiled surface. Her tongue worked the thin sheet between my two holes and then slipped up until she was licking and nudging the soft, wrinkled tissue of my anus. I was pushing back against her even though she held me steady with her powerful hands. It felt so good, and I honestly didn't know if it could feel any better. I was in the palm of her hand, in pure pleasure, yet I wanted more. So much more.

And then her fingers were inside me, not thrusting but wiggling, pressing upwards so that when I rocked back against her tongue, I was also rocking back onto her fingers.

I don't know where she learned all the wonderful things she does to me, but I'm pretty sure I'm not that good a teacher. It must just be a talent she has…

I felt warm all over and it sure wasn't from the steamy bath. It felt like tiny ripples of heat and pleasure working their way over my body from my center. I was caught on the edge, floundering in the space between wanting to have an orgasm and not wanting Buffy to ever stop licking me.

She teased my opening with the tip of her tongue and then pressed against it with the flat of her tongue before going back to laving the area, as an animal would care for a wound – steady strokes with intent. She began to move her fingers in and out of me, thrusting upwards as I brought my hips back down.

I felt the fingers of her other hand on my clit, circling in rhythm with her exploring tongue and her thrusting fingers. Buffy was using both hands and her mouth on me and I knew that she was getting almost as much pleasure and satisfaction out of making me feel so good, as I was.

I was nothing but a boneless mass of perfect, pleasurable sensations. And they were building. Building and rising out of me, ballooning as my cunt did around my lover's fingers until I was exploding. Wave after sweet wave rushed over me making me see stars and pretty colors and feel nothing but absolute love and devotion for this woman that would bring me such pleasure.

Dawn was calling Buffy and Willow from the bottom of the stairs. I was supposed to come over by myself, holding a disc that had them making love on it. Instead, I was standing in the foyer with Casey and Claire, minus said disc, with sweaty palms and the shakes. To say I was scared was the understatement of the year.

They were going to be pissed. They were going to kick me out of their house and never let me in to their lives again. My ex-lover was going to turn her back on me, as I once did her. And Buffy, who had stood up for me and trusted me with so much, would never want to see me again. I figured I would be lucky if we left their house without Buffy trying to kill us with one of her shiny metal toys, or Willow doing the dark magicks.

"They're probably coming." Dawn said, turning back to us. "They usually hear me." She explained. "You sure got a set of lungs on ya." Casey commented and was immediately rewarded with an elbow from Claire.

I suspected Casey was noticing more than Dawn's screaming ability. She had grown up a lot in the last year, really coming into her assets and though I considered her a sister more than anything, those changes hadn't gone unnoticed.

Dawn eyed my friends curiously with that familiar territorial glint in her eyes, as if to say, "Don't mess with my people." I'm sure she gained that trait from Willow who could be very territorial and possessive when it came to her friends.

"I think we'll sit." I told her and headed into the living room, taking a seat on the end of the couch with Casey and Claire taking up the remainder.

If I had my way, I would've dragged Andi and Shell into meeting with Buffy and Will as well, so that all five of us could take part in the screaming and threatening and ass kicking.

I sighed and put my head in my hands, not sure if I was ready for what was to come.

"Just tired, Dawn." I lied. "Oh." She didn't say anything else and went back to looking at my friends.

I heard Buffy and Willow giggling at the top of the stairs before they quieted themselves and started down. My stomach was turning itself into knots and the lump in my throat was growing impossibly large. Each step they took made my heart beat that much faster. I swallowed a few times and realized how dry my mouth was. I was all fear and worry and couldn't remember the last time I'd felt quite that bad. Maybe when I still thought I was a demon and was trying to hide it from everyone. But even then, it was a fear I'd lived with for a long time. This was sudden and unexpected and was making it very hard for me to sit there and not run.

Willow smiled brightly and squeezed Buffy's arm before moving away to sit on the edge of the coffee table. Buffy stayed in the entryway, her hands clasped behind her back. She looked happy. Happier than I'd ever remembered seeing her, and it made me feel sick.

I glanced at her and she raised her eyebrows, urging me to get it over with. I had explained the whole Slayer thing to them back at the apartment and Casey still didn't seem that convinced she wouldn't be able to hold her own in a fight with Buffy. That was the thing about Casey, she was really laid back, but I knew of several occasions where she turned things physical in defense of herself or her friends. I was working on helping her try to find her inner peace and to learn how to problem solve without relying on physical action. After the slayer explanation she wasn't willing to let me go by myself, insisting that I might need back up. I reminded her that I did know magic and if the situation turned ugly, could handle myself.

As much as I feared Buffy kicking our butts all the way around and out of Sunnydale, I knew that she probably wouldn't do that. If anything, Willow could hold her back and convince her that we weren't worth it. And indeed, I felt we weren't even worth the energy that she'd use laying into us. I felt lower than dirt. These were my friends and I put them in a position where they were violated and their trust torn to shreds, and the didn't even know it yet.

"Okay, so what's the big?" Willow asked, glancing from me to my friends and back again, her face creasing in concern. "Uh, I think we should talk without Dawn." I told her, looking at Dawn and offering a silent apology. "Um… okay." She got up and glanced at all of us again. "You know I'm almost sixteen and you can't keep everything from me all of the time!" She scowled and walked past Buffy, who just rolled her eyes.

Even though I was sure Dawn would probably find a way to listen to our conversation, I waited for her door to shut and then glanced from Buffy to Willow, bracing myself.

She could see the fear and worry in my face, in the way I was sitting. She could probably feel the negative vibes hitting her at full force.

"Yeah Tara, what's up with the big meeting with old friends?" Buffy asked, keeping her place.

"I-I uh… w-w-well um…" I swallowed and closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. "I-I h-have something to tell you." "We kinda figured that. W-whatever it is, you can tell us." Willow said gently, her hand finding mine and squeezing.

That was the worst thing she could possibly do. Offer me support when what I was going to tell her was going to hurt her, piss her off, and end any support and friendship she was extending to me.

"A-about the party…" I started again, removing my hand from hers and running both of them up and down my arms. "There's something… something y-you should know… s-something…" "Look," Buffy said, "Whatever happened at the party… I mean, it was wicked wild… but there's nothing to worry about." "Yes!." Willow agreed. "The party. All good with the party." She gave us that priceless "not even an issue," smile.

I shook my head and got up, standing on the other side of the room, opposite Buffy. Casey and Claire sat motionless, watching me stumble and falter as my soon to be ex-friends continued to reassure me and offer support.

"There's a disc." I said suddenly, not looking at any of them. "W-well… there w-was a disc." "A disc?" Asked Buffy.

"O-okay. Right." Added Willow. "You mentioned a movie, so… okay, what's this movie?"

I heard a familiar melody and looked at Claire. She sat wide-eyed, blushing. Van Morrison's 'Brown Eyed Girl' played out in a muted ring tone from her small hemp bag that sat in her lap. Her cell phone.

"You gonna answer that?" Buffy asked her, raising her eyebrow, knowing something was up.

Claire looked at me, mouthing an apology, knowing how close I was to finally telling them, and how much harder it would be to work my nerve back up. I nodded for her to answer her phone.

"Tell him not to let it out of his sight." She told Andi firmly. "Yeah, we'll meet you there."

"Andi knows where it is and we're going over there right now to get it." "The…?"

I looked at Buffy and Willow, both of them looking at us with a mixture of concern and curiosity. I realized then that Claire had been right all along. I should never have asked Shellie and Andi to put the video on a disc to bring to Buffy and Willow. I should have told them to delete the file and keep it our secret.

"Uh… we need to go. Now." Casey said, getting up and giving her hand to Claire, who took it, nodding in agreement, and got up. "Y-yeah." I nodded. "Sorry about… uh…"

Willow stood up and came over to me, her face still creased in worry. She put her hand on mine again. Concerned friend and former lover.

They both nodded and I figured they understood that they wouldn't get an explanation until I was ready.

Casey, Claire, and I were going to retrieve the disc, destroy it, and not tell Buffy or Willow a word about it.

Buffy turned and arched her eyebrow. I just shook my head. I didn't know what to think.

Buffy looked back at the door briefly before turning completely toward me. Buffy's confused face is so adorable.

"I don't understand," Buffy went on, "all that fuss about them coming over. And I certainly don't understand the sudden rush to leave without any explanation."

I nodded in agreement. Yeah, it was weird all right, but at that moment I seemed to be more caught up in the way Buffy's eyebrows were creased. The way she was nibbling ever so slightly on her bottom lip.

She was scowling and I couldn't stop thinking about licking her bottom lip where she had, just moments ago, been nibbling it.

I blushed, realizing I had spoken out loud. Sure I was wondering what was going on with Tara and her friends, but there was the sex. The wonderful, steamy, multi-orgasmic sex we could have been having if it hadn't been for knowing Tara was going to stop by.

The blush didn't last long though. I had a quick flashback to our time in the shower. I could feel a huge, dopey grin spread across my face. Pervy much? Yes! When it comes to Buffy Summers, I'm all about the perviness, thank you! Not like she could say anything. Always attacking me in the kitchen and in the hallways. She was like horny-slayer 24 hours a day, seven days a week. In fact, I'm willing to bet that during the next apocalypse, she'll make time for us to scrump before she stops the world from ending.

I finally made my brain focus on the recent events with Tara and her friends. Buffy was right, the whole thing was weird. Tara was really upset. No, more than that. She was scared. Scared to tell Buffy and me something. And then they get a phone call and her whole tune changed. Tara said she was okay and that she'd explain later, but that just wasn't like her.

"No." She shook her head. "Just maybe something that calls for a little slayer investigation?"

Without another word from me, Buffy grabbed her keys off the table and opened the door.

"Buffy." I started, "You can't follow them. They're in a car and you're... carless."

She pouted, realizing she would have no idea in what direction they were headed even if she did have a car. She shifted her weight from one leg to the next and then put her hands on her hips.

"I'm still going out. I'll head down town and have a look around. Keep my eye out for that little red car they're in. I smell trouble, Will, and I want to know what's going on."

"No, that's okay. Stay here with Dawn. Just in case of...well, y'know, whatever."

"Okay...well...not always." She confessed. "But don't worry, 'kay? I'll be careful."

"I love you." I told her quietly before placing a soft kiss at the corner of her mouth.

Buffy patted her pocket where her newly purchased cell phone was. I nodded my okay and then she turned and headed down the walk.

"Do you want me to make some plans for that cook out you wanted to have? Call the boys...a-and Anya?"

I waved before she turned and started to make her way down the street. I watched her walk halfway down Revello before closing the door and deciding to get busy with the plans for our cookout. I needed to call Giles and Xander and see if they'd be free to come, although I really wasn't worried about it. We always seem to do everything together, but a girl has to cover all the bases during planning. And there were the shopping lists to prepare. And the music. And games. There should always be games at a Scooby gathering...

I smiled, remembering our talk about having everyone over for a cook out and telling them that we were together.

She waved and I headed down the street. I wasn't sure where I was going. Downtown Sunnydale. But I had no idea if I would find Casey's red Civic. I might find ten red Civics, but how would I know which was Casey's? Demons I could find. A few lesbians in a red Civic? That was an entirely different matter.

But despite me being aware that I would probably find nothing, I kept walking. There was something wrong. That, I was sure, I didn't imagine. Any idiot could deduce the same. Tara said that there was something about the party. She had come over to give us a movie or something but she didn't mention it when she was there. In fact, Tara seemed scared to say anything. Then a call and they're off! It wasn't so much that I thought Tara and her friends were up to something...even if Tara had been acting way different than I'd ever seen her before. Even Willow was surprised by Tara's behavior. I wasn't sure what was going on, but I wanted to find out. And when the Slayer wants to find something out, she does.

I couldn't stop my thoughts from racing as we headed to meet Andi and Shell. Thoughts like: We never had a disc. Movie? What movie? We're going to break the disc in half and toss it straight in the trash. Better yet, I thought we'd break the disc into many, tiny little pieces. Then burn it. Then bury it. Or drive to the beach and toss it off the pier. Only, that would have been polluting and I could never do anything like that.

"Ya know," started Casey, "It's not like we killed someone. We're not going to hide a body. Or retrieve the murder weapon to throw off the pier."

"P-pier?" I asked; my thoughts still stuck in how to destroy the disc beyond all possible recognition.

Case continued, "I mean, yeah sure...its not something anyone wants floating around and I'm glad...for all our sakes...that Andi's brother has, at this very minute, access to the -"

"He and his friends are probably whacking off to it." Claire offered, cutting Casey off. "In fact, he...What's his name?"

"Right, Markus. He and his pals will probably recognize Buffy and Willow if they see them. They'll think of what's on that disc. And those girls will never know."

"It's a violation, Case." Claire half-turned and caught my eye. "And we can get the disc and make sure no one else ever sees it again, but we'll always know. And those boys will always know. And Tara's friends will have been violated without them ever knowing. Their trust betrayed."

I closed my eyes fighting the tears that inevitably would come again. I knew what Claire was saying. I knew she was right.

Case pulled her eyes from the road and looked around wildly, glancing back and forth between Claire and me.

"Right thing to do, my ass!" Casey shouted and gunned the engine. "We're not telling them shit. We're going to get that disc and kill it and bury it and never say anything else about it!"

I shook my head against her words. I couldn't do that. If Buffy and Willow never wanted to talk to me again, then so be it. I couldn't just let this go. I wouldn't be able to live with the guilt, especially now that Andi's brother and his friends had watched it.

"Nope. No. No. No way!" Casey continued. "You're in the clear here with this shit, Tara. And that's the way it's going to stay."

"I'm going to tell them. You don't have to have anything to do with it. But I need to tell them, for my own peace of mind."

"I know you're just looking out for me," My voice was quiet, soothing. "But I have to do it."

Casey sighed and gave me a nod but refrained from anything more. She knew when to quit a losing battle.

"If my sister knows there's another copy she'll kill me. And then she'll come here and kill all of you."

I sat down in a huff. I couldn't believe I had let Burr talk me into letting him make a copy of the home video. The home video of Dawn's sister…

I leaned forward, putting my head in my hands and groaned. This whole thing was a mess. And it wasn't even really my mess. I just walked into it. Just happened to be the brother of the idiot who thought it would be cool to record any overnight guests in her apartment. What would mom think?

"Dude, don't worry about it." Burr started, "No one's gonna find out. It'll just be our little secret. Right, Jay? Paul?"

"Yeah. Totally." He said before breaking out into a grin. "Come on Mark, you can't tell me you don't think that vid's hot."

"Yeah, well… too late now." Burr picked up the extra copy and waved it absently in the air. "This baby's stayin' here."

I picked up my warm beer and chugged. They were right. What was the harm if no one ever knew? So we had a copy of two chicks fucking each other and I just happened to know who they were and who recorded them. So what?

"Yeah. Whatever." I shrugged and threw the empty bottle in the trashcan. "I need another beer."

I started up the stairs with Wiggs behind me when I heard Jay say, "Let's watch it again."

I handed Wiggs another cold one, absently saying, "here" when I heard the doorbell.

I cut across the Davidson's lawn and through their backyard in order to trim half a mile off my trip toward downtown. Xander had shown me the short cut through blocks of neighborhoods years ago. It aided him plenty when he was still outrunning bullies intent on kicking his butt and taking his comics. He's come a long way since then. Growing into such a strong man. He is a true friend - always loyal and always offering his support. Sometimes I'm too hard on him. He can be the silliest in the most serious situations. But I know now that it's his defense. It's his way to reassure himself that we're going to make it through. I envy him sometimes. He has so much faith in me, sometimes more than I have in myself.

I was worried he would be upset with Willow and I becoming a couple. It was one thing to lose the girl you've had a crush on to some guy, it was a whole other thing to lose her to your best friend. Would the knowledge of us being together damage our friendship with Xander? Cordelia had been right so long ago; we were like the Three Musketeers.

Only, with me being dead those few months, I had made it so difficult for us all when I got back. I was making an effort to change all that though. Spike was dust. Willow and I had finally become honest with each other and were sharing something beautiful, something like I had never known before. We were all closer now. Probably closer than before I jumped from that tower that Glory's minions had built. We did things together again. Just the three of us sometimes. It felt great. I didn't want distance between us ever again.

It was the fear of that, the fear of distance between Xander and us that caused me to worry so much about his reaction to his two best friends becoming a couple. Not only that, though, but that we had waited so long to tell him too.

And then there was Giles. I didn't know what he would think about us. He accepted Willow and Tara right away, but this was different. This was me. And I was the Slayer. There were always separate rules for the Slayer. Breaking rules, though, I could do that. Done it so many times before. But disappointing Giles? Yeah, I've disappointed him before. I'm not proud of that. And I didn't want this to be another disappointment. I didn't want him to take off his glasses and clean them as if he wasn't witnessing our confession only to have a 'talk' with me later about how this could endanger Willow or how us being together just wasn't suitable for me being the Slayer.

So I was exaggerating a little. If I had really stopped to think about what his reaction might be, I could see joy in his face. I could see him happy that I had finally moved on from Angel. From Riley. Happy that I was moving on with my life after coming back from the dead. I know he worried. I know he thought he failed me. I know he just wants me happy. Thinking… knowing all this didn't stop the fear from crowding in. I wanted to tell them, but I was still scared to death of what their reaction would be.

It was during this whole clouded thought process that I nearly missed what I thought must be a red Civic shooting across an intersection three blocks from where I was.

I immediately broke into a run, feeling my slayer speed kick in. If that was Casey's car, I wanted to catch up to it and figure out what was going on.

I had to admit, it wasn't just that I smelled trouble, I was just plain curious!

I reached Adagio Avenue, where I had seen them cross, in way less than a minute. I stopped just long enough to have a look down the road. It was one of the main roads in Sunnydale, stretching from the north end of the city to the south.

I spotted the car behind a large delivery truck, which was stopped at a red light. I jogged towards it, trying to look casual, and kept to the sidewalk so as not to stand out. When the truck, and subsequently the car, started moving forward again I put a little more effort into my jog and easily caught up to them.

Crossing the street and staying back some as they rolled to a halt in front of a big, white house, I could tell it was definitely Tara and her friends who piled out. What surprised me was that those two girls whose apartment we had been at recently pulled up only a moment later.

I inched further up the street, having to pass two more luxury homes before I would be directly in front of them. I couldn't make out what they were saying with the sun almost completely gone from the sky, though. Tara, Casey, and Claire followed the other two girls up to the front door.

I waited until they were all inside before I sprinted up and across the street to the house. I looked in the front window, trying to see something. Nothing. Then along the side, I caught sight of them in the kitchen with… I was certain the boy from the food court in the mall was there; the one Dawn was crushing on. I couldn't be sure at first though, because I had to duck down out of sight.

It was when I was hunched down below the kitchen window that I noticed the movement of light against the side yard's bushes. I realized that the light was coming from a small rectangular window near the ground. I figured it was the basement window. I moved toward it, curiosity getting the better of me, and had a look inside.

I had been on the phone with Xander, telling him about our plan for a cook out that weekend. He offered to be 'Barbeque Man' and I thought it was a great idea. He could hardly boil water in the kitchen, but the boy can grill like nobody's business.

"Sure thing, Wills. It's my pleasure." He said, genuinely pleased with my enthusiasm. "Barbeque chicken, hamburgers, and hot dogs a la Xander!" He said this last bit like he was announcing one of the great chefs of Europe or something.

I rolled my eyes but couldn't help grin at him. There was that silly, but charming way he had about him that I'd always found so endearing.

"Well, sure, why not? I mean you guys are getting along better aren't you? Maybe she'll see how well you're doing with… not doing the magic and she'll come around."

I winced. He still thought I was pining away for Tara? Hadn't he been able to see that I was over her? I mean, sure, Buffy and I hadn't come out as a couple yet, but surely he saw how much happier I was in recent months, how much better I really had been doing… but not just with the magicks.

I didn't know what to say. I wanted to jump in and agree that I didn't want Tara back, but that might cause me to explain, which would cause babbling and I might spill the beans about Buffy and I before Buffy and I even had a chance to have our little cook out and I'd ruin the whole thing!

"Yeah, Will, I know that. You only tell me that every time I ask. How come you're being all secretive about this?"

"Secretive?" I scrunched up my face in confusion. "Y-you think I'm being all secretive?"

"Yeah, actually, I do." He said casually. "You can have your secrets, Willow, that's up to you. But I'm not getting why you have to."

"Complicated, I know." He finished for me. "Look, I see how happy you are. Anyone who isn't a complete moron could see how different this Willow is from Mopey Willow a few months ago. Something's changed. Something's happened that you're not telling us."

"Now," He continued, cutting me off again, "I want you to know, I'm happy for you, whatever this is that's got you so happy, I'm happy. Cause a happy Willow makes a happy Xander, y'know?"

"I know you're not doing magic… Wait." He paused for moment, "You're not, right?"

"No, of course not!" I shook my head, not realizing he couldn't see me. "Not for months."

There was silence on the line between us for a few seconds before he started up again.

"So you're not doing magic, and you and Tara aren't back together… so there must be something else!"

"Who is she?" He asked again, confidently. "Unless the lucky someone is of the male variety. Have you gone the way of Oz again?"

I sighed heavily, realizing I was confusing myself in the process of not blurting to him that Buffy had decided to share her bed with me and join the ranks of the lesbian nation.

"I-if you can just hold that thought until this weekend… I-I promise you'll know everything." I told him, crossing my fingers that he'd just stop asking questions.

I would have loved to tell him, but I knew Buffy wanted to tell everyone at once, when we were together.

"Saturday." I confirmed before wishing him a good night and hanging up the phone.

I had to smile though; happy that he was so interested in my love life, not because he was being pervy, but because he was honestly happy about me… well, being happy, and just wanted to know the cause of it. If everything went as planned, me and Buffy would tell him on Saturday and he could be happy for both of us.

We all nodded that we did. He shifted from one foot to the other and pulled at his faded Dodgers shirt. I think he looked as nervous as I was.

We followed him into the kitchen where we met another boy holding a beer. His hair hung in his eyes, as if he couldn't be bothered combing it, and it hit me all at once that these boys, these teenaged boys who weren't much older than Dawn, had been watching Buffy and Willow make love. They were drinking and probably making all sorts of lewd comments about my friends' bodies, about what they were doing. They probably didn't see them as anything other than objects to… whack off to as Claire put it.

The whole reality of it made me sick. I wanted the disc and I wanted out of there.

"Markus," Andi started, growing annoyed already. "You know why we're here. Go get it."

He opened a door that I assumed led to the basement without another word. I could faintly hear a few other male voices and some laughing. I thought of them sitting there watching it over and over again and I felt sick to my stomach. Sick because I had watched them with jealousy and anger. Sick because I had made Andi and Shell make a copy of the file in the first place. Sick because I had been so foolish as to lose it and now these boys had been watching it.

I felt an arm being slipped around my shoulders. I looked up to see my friends looking at me, concern evident in their features. Claire was holding me, trying to reassure me with her confident touch that everything was going to be okay.

I tried for a smile, but I just couldn't muster it. I should have been relieved. I should have felt the panic and worry leave my body. But it didn't. I was tense with it.

No one said anything, though. No one offered me reassurances like they had in the car, like they had all day. Not one of my friends could reassure me that everything would turn out fine, even though I was going to tell Buffy and Willow, despite getting the disc back and being able to keep it a secret if I wanted to. They didn't really think it would be okay. And I think, finally, I wasn't the only one who felt guilty in all this. Finally, they were feeling it too. And they were ashamed.

I didn't know what else to say. I didn't know what to do, how to react. I was in total and complete shock.

That was us, Willow and me, making love on that big screen TV. And those boys were watching us. Getting off on us. It was like they were watching some sporting event or something. Football or Basketball… or World Wide Lesbian Loving. Yeah, they could have referred to it as the WWLL and sold tickets!

And it hit me. All at once it made sense. Tara. The party. The "movie" she had for us. It all made sense.

I should have felt sick to my stomach. I should have been outraged. I should have busted in there without a second thought and beat them to bloody little pulps and taken that video and destroyed it.

Part of me was outraged, though. The nerve of them recording us, whoever it had been! How sick does someone have to be to do that? To watch someone. To record them and then… what? Make copies for the neighborhood?! I was pissed all right.

But more than that. More than being angry. Or shocked at the very reality of what was happening in that basement.

They were watching us. They liked… no, they were loving it. Loved watching us fuck. I know that sounds crude, but that's what it was. We were fucking on that video. I had my whole hand inside her at one point, and these guys were watching and loving every bit of it. And yeah, that was turning me on.

And we looked hot. I was watching us too; through that tiny window near the ground of someone's house I'd never been to before. Anyone could come along and see me peeking in through that window. A peeping Buffy. That's what I'd be. But I couldn't help myself. Willow and I… we were hot. I mean, I knew this, I knew we were hot together… I couldn't get enough. She couldn't get enough. If the energy we created during sex could be harnessed, we could light all of California!

I could feel myself getting wet. Hunched down near the ground in the dark of someone's side yard, watching my girlfriend and I have sex in that apartment, without us knowing we were being recorded.

I got angry again and put all thoughts of my arousal out of my head. Or at least I tried. I was going to get that video. But would I destroy it? Or bring it home for Willow and me to watch together?

How was I going to tell her? What if she freaked? No, she would definitely freak over this!

I saw another teenaged boy come into the room. He told the others something and one jumped up, turning off the video. I figured he must have been retrieving it for Tara and her friends; only the disc that was handed to him came from the coffee table between the couch and TV, not from the DVD player. They were keeping a copy for themselves!

I went back over to the kitchen window, watching Tara and her friends standing around, waiting. Claire put her arm around Tara and I could see from my position the worry that creased her faced. No wonder she had been scared to death at the house earlier. I was angry with her, but I knew Tara only ever tried to do the right thing… well, mostly anyway. Memories of her trying to hide what she thought was her demon side came to mind, and how it almost got us killed. But we forgave her. She made a mistake.

A mistake. And I think Tara knew a mistake had been made this time too and was trying to do right. That's why she came to us to begin with.

The boy I'd seen in the basement getting the disc emerged and handed the disc to one of Tara's friends. Andi or Shelley, I'm not sure which one it was. She in turn handed the disc to Tara who nodded a thank you before slipping it into her bag. There were a few more words exchanged, but I didn't stick around to even see if I could make out what they were saying. I hurried around to the front of the house and checked myself. A girl's gotta look good, after all.

I rang the doorbell and waited. I was really looking forward to seeing the looks on their faces.

"You didn't see this." Andi told the boys. "You didn't see this and your friends didn't see this." She continued, "And if you see either of the girls on this video, you act like you have no idea who they are. You got that?"

"No buts." Casey said. "You don't know who they are and you act like you don't know."

"What?!" Andi was shocked. "You didn't tell me you knew them! You said you recognized our guest room, Mark!"

"Yeah, I know!" He countered, raising his voice, "But I met those girls just today. The blonde… what's her name?"

"She's in my Western Civ class." He shrugged. "They were all at the mall today and I-"

"What?" He looked around at our group. "Oh, please! I'm not that stupid, y'know!"

Andi started to say something to counter her brother but he continued, ignoring her.

"What do you think I'm gonna say, sis?" He asked. "Hey Dawn, how ya doin'? Oh, I saw your sister fucking her girlfriend on a video my sis recorded… Wanna go out Friday night?"

"Please." I said, stepping forward. "Just forget about it. Forget you ever saw the damn thing!"

I swallowed back the tears, turning from them and was about to head toward the door when the doorbell rang.

We all nodded or said hey, but we followed him toward the door. I know I for one was ready to get out of there. To get away from these boys and the reality that they weren't going to just forget what they'd seen on the disc. They would talk about it and probably tell some of their other guy friends about it as well.

Jay opened the door to find Buffy standing on the other side. My heart stopped beating. I was sure of it.

"Just the folks I wanted to see." She said before grabbing Jay by the collar and lifting him up into the air.

Jay continued to struggle, putting both his hands on her wrist and trying to force her grip free.

Buffy looked at me. There was a mixture of anger and disappointment in that look.

I stumbled. She knew. She knew about the disc. Knew I had it. Knew that these guys had had it.

"In your bag, Tara." She pointed with her free hand, as if telling me where I had put my car keys.

"Should what?" Buffy asked, leaning forward, acting like she was really interested in what Casey had to say.

She tossed Jay to her left, where the living room was. He landed with a thud, hitting the back of the couch and crying out in pain.

"I-I… uhh… B-B-Buffy…" I tried to speak, to say anything, but I couldn't form the words.

"Oh, please. I'm not going to hurt her. I may feel like using one of you for a punching bag, but I'm not going to take my anger out on Tara."

"No. I just want the disc." She looked over to where Jay was rubbing his leg. "And I want the copy."

Copy? What copy?? I had to smack myself in the head at that. Of course they had made a copy! Who wouldn't?!

Jay shook his head, and then looked to Markus and Mr. Scraggly for support. Neither of them said anything, too scared.

"Don't try to outsmart me," Buffy chastised, wagging her finger. "You'll always lose. Now go downstairs and get me the copy that's sitting in your nice, new DVD player."

Jay looked outraged, but one more glance in Buffy's direction and he quit trying to deny the copy.

"And I can't believe you guys recorded us!" Buffy countered, pulling Andi's attention away from her brother.

Andi stood still, shocked. She didn't know what to say. Neither did Shell who just looked down at her feet.

"You had no right to do that." She said. "And even if you did think you had a right…" She turned suddenly, pointing her finger at me. "What the hell were you doing with it?"

"I figured." She nodded. "I still don't get why there's a disc floating around to just fall into anyone's hands… anyone of course being these hormonal teenage boys!"

"Yeah, you didn't mean for it to happen, I know. Just like I'm sure these two over here didn't mean to record me and Willow! Just like these boys here didn't mean to watch it… or make a copy of it!"

She was fuming. Working herself up into a fury. I wasn't surprised, just getting scared that she was going to take back what she said about not using me for a punching bag.

"I-I'm sorry!" I said suddenly, finding my voice. "Buffy, I'm s-s-so sorry! I'm s-sorry for all of this!"

I couldn't hold the tears any longer and I didn't wipe them away when they started to fall. No one, not even Buffy said anything.

I took the few steps to where Jay had been moments before and sat down on the arm of the couch, sniffling.

We looked up to see what I assumed were the rest of Mark's friends. Jay held the disc out in front of him while the other boys stood behind him.

"I'm only going to say this once and I want you to listen very, very carefully." She told them. "Can you do that for me?"

She glanced at each of them individually and didn't continue until she got a nod from all of them.

Meanwhile, Casey and Claire had come over to me, offering their support, but I hardly noticed. I felt like shit. And I just wanted to disappear.

"You forget about this. You forget there was ever a video. You don't talk about it. You don't tell anyone about it." Buffy told them, speaking slow, but sternly. "If I hear anything about it… and believe me boys, I hear a lot in this town… I will come back here… I will hunt each of you down and have a nice little chat with you. And I really don't want to have to do that. And I'm thinking you probably don't want that either." She looked at them all again, before adding, "Do you?"

There was a chorus of "no." Buffy smiled that signature, cheery smile and released Jay's hand before spinning around and coming toward me.

I could physically feel Casey tense up. She was still under the delusion that she could fend off the Slayer if need be.

She held out her hand and I handed over the disc, adding to the copy already in her possession.

"I think you three should come back to my house and tell Willow. Just like you were going to do before. Only this time, you have… well, I have the disc."

"Yes, Tara." Buffy nodded. "I figure, the reason you three came to see us earlier had to do with this. Am I right?"

I nodded. No, she was definitely right about that. And I shouldn't have been so shocked that she wanted us to tell Willow. I had planned on doing just that before she rang the doorbell.

They all nodded, uncomfortable to still be a part of the whole awkward situation.

"And you two," Buffy addressed Andi and Shell, "I don't think I want to be seeing you either. You're Tara's friends and ya know… whatever… but you're not mine. What you did… recording my girlfriend and me for… your own pleasure… it was wrong. So very wrong and I don't want to have anything to do with you again."

They looked at each other but were too ashamed or pissed off - I couldn't' tell which - to look at the rest of us.

They got up and slipped out the door without another word. Quickly, Mark headed for the door as well.

"Yeah, you do that." Buffy encouraged him. "And don't even think about calling my sister."

Markus turned around, all of a sudden looking wounded. He didn't say anything though, just nodded that he understood before escaping into the night.

Dawn rolled her eyes but smiled. I think she still had a small crush on Xander. She offered me a cola from the fridge before grabbing one for herself.

"So what's all this?" She asked, indicating the notes I had scribbled on index cards.

"Um, Willow, y'know, its not rocket science. A few guests… some good food. Music. Y'know, the basic."

"Oh… Not that you're not good… uh, with the planning, Will… I-it's just that… it's a cook out."

"I… I don't think so. Not really. I mean… Xander and Giles… they both acted kinda weird at first about Tara and me… A-and… I don't want them being all weird about this."

"But they were always okay with you and Tara." She countered. "Why wouldn't they be about you and Buffy?"

"Oh, what? Slayers can't be gay?" She asked, incredulously. "Where does it say that?"

"Your sister reacted the same way." I told her. "Giles said he didn't think it applied to Buffy."

We both broke out into laughter. I think he was right; our Buffy was a one of a kind. Not that I had had the pleasure of meeting many slayers, just Kendra and Faith. One was dead and the other was psycho. So much the Slayer Handbook did for them.

"He's probably right." She agreed. "A-and anyway, she's not the very straight slayer. She never was."

I ducked my head and pretended to concentrate on the can tab I was bending back and forth.

"Yeah." I nodded. "The way I manipulated Tara… the spells… mind control…" I whispered this last bit, overwhelmed by shame again.

"No." Dawn said, putting her hand on mine. "No way. You were out of control, Willow. You were like… letting the magic control you… o-or something… but… you're better now, right?"

I nodded. No spells in months. Even the temptation to do them wasn't there that often. Usually only when I was upset or thought there was danger, like when that girl wouldn't let go of me at the party.

"I know Buffy loves you, Will. There's no spell making her love you." She said, gently. "She's always loved you."

I smiled, knowing how much that was true. And knowing I hadn't used any sort of spells to win her love, ever.

"But I'm scared, Dawn." I went on, "Scared that they… that Xander and Giles… Anya… that they'll think differently."

I looked at her, feigning shock, but I couldn't help the smile that was trying to creep around the corners of my mouth.

"What?" She asked. "You and I and Buffy know the truth. If they think you had to use some stupid spell to get Buffy to love you, then they're all stupid!" She tossed her can into the trashcan. "And I'll tell them myself!"

"Not a problem." She said, giving me one nod before taking her hand from mine, and sliding off the stool. "I have homework to finish." She informed me before leaving the room.

I threw my can in the trash, still smiling. Everything was going to be okay. No matter what Xander and Giles thought about Buffy and me, I knew everything would turn out all right.

I watched Tara's friends slip past me to the door and disappear. I know I should have been kicking their butts. But there's just something about using my skills on humans that doesn't always sit right with me. Besides, the social workers would not be happy if there was another police report involving me.

I turned to see the guy from the mall that'd caught Dawn's eye leaving after them.

Had he really been as interested in Dawn as she seemed to be in him? I didn't even want to think about how awkward that would've been. More awkward. Whatever. And there was no way I was letting Dawn get involved in that family. No way, no how.

"And don't even think about calling my sister." I told him just before he got to the door.

He looked wounded. I guess me hindering his social life really hurt. Oh well! But he nodded that he understood and then disappeared through the door. The rest of the boys just stood around, not really looking at me or anything in particular. I think they were just waiting for me to leave.

"Now," I started, looking towards Tara and her friends, "How about that ride back to my place?"

Casey looked up, unsure I think, at first. But she nodded and shrugged before heading for the door. Tara and Claire followed, silent.

"Remember what I said." I told them in my most threatening slayer voice. "I don't want to have to come back here."

I didn't wait for a response. I was out the door and standing next to Casey's Civic moments later. I slid into the back seat with Tara and stared out the window as Casey started down the street. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what I was even supposed to be feeling. I was still angry, but nowhere near what I still thought I should be feeling. I thought I should be yelling, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

Willow. I should have called her when I saw the video. I should have told her. What was I doing bringing these people home to tell her? She was going to go nuts. I just knew it. Call her? I could have called her then, in the car. Let her know we were on our way. Give her a heads up, right? But, then she'd ask questions and if I didn't tell her what was up on the phone she would worry. She'd think it was the end of the world or something again and she'd get all flustered… which is kinda cute… but then she would be totally pissed with me for not telling her, on top of how pissed off I knew she would be when she heard the news.

I realized I was babbling internally again, probably channeling Willow. I glanced over at Tara who sat as far away from me as possible, seeming to push her weight against the side of the car. I think she was terrified. I really didn't blame her. She knew what I was capable of. She'd seen me on plenty of patrols, killing very large, ugly things with my bare hands. She saw me battle Glory, the very hell god who had sucked her brain. But I don't think I really could have hurt her. She was a Scooby – an absent Scooby – but still a Scooby. Those were hard to hurt.

Yeah, what she did was wrong. No, more than that. It was fucking stupid! I don't think it matters that she wasn't the one who recorded us. She obviously knew. She put it on disc to give to us! Who on earth does that?

Don't get me wrong. I'm glad she did. I'm glad I knew we had been recorded because I would hate to think of some strangers watching us while Willow and I were completely oblivious to it.

Who's seen it? I know those boys did. I know Tara and her friends must have. But was there anyone else who had watched it? Very conflicting emotions. Anger and desire. Fear and curiosity. There was that feeling that you get in the pit of your stomach – worry. But also that down low tickle, as Faith would say. How can a person feel both?

But I did. Felt it all and it was confusing and I tried to sort it out in my head, these feelings, but I just didn't know where to begin. I kept bouncing around. First there was the anger. The intense raging kind. Then that would die down enough for the fear, which turned to worry which turned into curiosity, until finally there was just desire. And my desire fueled my anger. It was a vicious, fucked up, confusing cycle.

That was Tara. She was looking at my hands, watching as I clenched and unclenched them.

"I thought you would have kicked my ass out of Sunnydale by now." She said again, her voice soft.

I wasn't sure what to say. I'm sure she was grateful that, up to that point, I hadn't gotten physical with her, and didn't plan to. But that confused her, I think, because I'm 'Action Girl' and she did expect me to be angrier than I was. Hell, I expected me to be angrier than I was. Yet there I sat, not doing anything but staring out the window, clenching my fists in frustration over my own confusion.

I started speaking before it really came together clearly in my mind, not fully realized until I voiced it.

"I know I should be angrier than I am." I told her. "This whole thing is pretty darn fucked up, Tara."

She ducked her head, her hair falling to cover her face. In the front seat, both Casey and Claire stayed facing front, remaining silent.

"I understand about doing things that are wrong." I started telling her, "That are… maybe shameful. The way those things can cause a lot of guilt."

I shook my head, too many memories of time spent with Spike. Of hiding Angel. Of lying to my friends and family.

"I understand mistakes. God knows I've made a whole bunch of them. And yes, I'm angry. Very angry. And maybe a year ago, or even a few months ago, I would have acted differently, but I'm not the same person I was a few months ago. I've realized a lot in that time."

I paused for a moment, knowing with absolute surety that I was a changed woman because of Willow.

"And part of what I realized is that people do make mistakes. Everyone does. Even slayers. Coming clean about them is the key, I think. Being honest. Trying to make it better…"

I trailed off, realizing I was talking more about how I had acted in the past rather than the current situation.

I didn't say anything else and Tara didn't respond. I turned and looked out the window again at the passing lights of cars, streetlamps, and restaurants. I waited until we had turned onto my street before saying anything else.

Was that relief or disappointment I felt? Couldn't she at least threaten my life or something?

I didn't say anything in response though, just watched her turn to look out the window. I caught Casey's eye in the rearview but didn't give her any indication of what I was feeling. I didn't really know myself. I got what Buffy was saying about how everyone makes mistakes and the whole thing about making them right… but 'making it right' wouldn't make me feel any better. And I guess it wasn't supposed it.

I knew Buffy was referring more to her than to this whole fiasco, talking about what she had been doing with Spike and hiding Angel when he came back. I didn't know all the details, but enough to know that Buffy knew what she was talking about. She regrets a lot and I think sometimes she feels like the mistakes far outweigh the good. I could see that she had changed a lot in the time since last we talked in private, when she broke down and told me all about Spike. I knew she was telling the truth when she said that a few months ago she would have acted a lot differently.

A few months ago she really didn't care about much. A few months ago she and Willow weren't together with the major love. A few months ago, none of this would have happened.

I was glad that they had finally gotten together. Glad that their love could better them both.

But I didn't want to be let off the hook so easily. I wanted punishment for my crimes. How ridiculous does that sound? But I was guilty… we all were. Andi and Shell got off way too easy if you ask me.

We turned onto Revello and I took a deep breath, readying myself for the confrontation ahead. Was Willow going to find it hard to be pissed at me too? Somehow I really doubted it. I knew Willow. She had a temper, and when things were bad, she made her displeasure known.

"I can't say the same thing about Willow, though." Buffy said, turning to me as if we had been talking the entire time.

No, I couldn't say the same thing about Willow either. I could only be grateful that she wasn't using magic these days. I've experienced enough Willow-magic to last me a lifetime.

Every once in a while I pause to think about the turn of events that led me to being the happy-in-love Willow that I am today.

Sometimes it's hard to believe that there was a time in my life that Buffy didn't know I was in love with her. That I thought Tara was the next best thing. And that magic was an addiction. I was in a big furry hurry to do something – anything - fast. Relationships. Magic. Education. Etcetera. In the course of one night, I went from being totally miserable, to ecstatically happy. And that happiness was only tripled when Buffy and I made love for the first time. That morning will always be one of my most precious, even with the mini thumping headache Spike had given me before Buffy dusted him.

Willow, 'the nobody.' That's what I though of myself most of my life until Buffy came along. Then I was Willow, 'the mostly nobody, but friend of the Slayer.' Or something like that. With Tara, for a time I didn't really feel like a nobody. I felt kind of special. I know now that a lot of that had to do with the magic. Honing my skills. Developing my power. But when we brought Buffy back and she hardly acknowledged me, and then Tara left, I was back to feeling like plain Willow, 'the nobody' again.

Then she told me about Spike. And I lost it. And then we talked and she told me how she felt. And there was how I felt. And we were all with the feeling and the love and then kissing happened. And then I wasn't Willow, 'the nobody' anymore. I was Willow, 'the girl Buffy Summers, the Slayer, was in love with.' And I was nothing but thrilled and happy and floating on Cloud 9 – hell, past Cloud 9 and up to Cloud 17 or something. How many happy clouds are there, anyway?

In all the time I've been Buffy's friend, been involved with battling the forces of evil, I hardly ever stopped to think about what we were doing. What we had accomplished. But once it was evident that Buffy wanted to spend the rest of her life with me – and I knew it was true, as sure as I knew my name – I started to take a better look. I started to appreciate our lives and the things we had been through. I began to take the time to stop and smell the roses, as it were.

Sometimes I'm doing the simplest things like washing the dishes or folding the towels – something Buffy just can't seem to do right – and I'm overcome with joy and the knowledge that my life, for once, makes absolute, complete sense. And it's all because I've made a life with Buffy.

It was during one of my little, happy musings that I heard Buffy call me from downstairs.

I left our bedroom, where I had been rearranging a few things in order to make room for both our belongings, and made my way down the stairs. I paused halfway down when I realized Buffy had company. They were back, which meant Buffy had gotten to the bottom of the weirdness from earlier. Yay? It didn't look like a 'yay' moment.

Casey and Claire were standing behind Buffy and Tara. Tara was staring at the floor, her hair hanging in her face. Buffy looked as if telling me whatever news she had for me was going to be really bad.

She looked toward Tara, who looked up, but couldn't seem to train her eyes my way.

"Wha-? Oh! No… Willow." Buffy shook her head, putting her hand on my arm for reassurance. "No one, baby. No deaths." She gave me a weak smile before turning to face the others and adding, "At least, not yet."

Willow was obviously confused and I was definitely not helping to clear things up.

"Wha-? Oh! No… Willow." I shook my head and put my hand on her arm. "No one, baby. No deaths."

I gave her what I hoped was a reassuring smile before turning to face the others.

"O-okay, what's up?" Willow said in an annoyed tone. "You've just scared me half to death and you're still not telling me what's going on… a-and I want to know!" She put her hands on her hips, resting her weight on one leg.

I knew something had to be done and quickly. Willow was not going to be happy. In fact, I was willing to bet money I didn't have that she was going to fly off the handle. I wanted to be in total control of the situation.

"Will," I started, keeping my eyes on Tara. "There's something you have to know."

"I-I-I… W-w-well, there's a-a um… a d-d-d…" She shook her head, unable to form the words.

"Tara?" Willow stepped to her and put her hand on Tara's arm. "Tara, what is it?" she asked in the most gentle of voices.

I couldn't stand this. The longer it took for Tara to tell Willow, the worse it was going to be. I held up the discs that I'd been holding on to.

"W-w-what?!" Tara looked at me, her eyes big, blue, panicky orbs. "No… Buffy…"

I glared at her. Either she told Willow exactly what was on those discs or Willow was going to see for herself, just like I did.

"Willow," she started, "A-at the party… you w-were…" She paused and took a deep breath. "You were… r-recorded."

Willow and Tara were solely focused on each other. Casey and Claire were trying their hardest to disappear back into the wall behind them. I watched Tara and Willow, suddenly feeling nauseous.

"A-Andi and Shell… the apartment we were at… their guest bedroom is… rigged… w-with recording equipment."

"W-when you and Buffy w-went in there… to…" She trailed off, glancing at me.

After a moment of complete silence in which I wasn't sure if my heart was going to start beating again, Willow turned fully to face me. She didn't say anything, though, and I was a bit worried. I decided it was time I did some explaining as well. Tara only seemed willing to offer as little information as possible, and I knew there was never going to be any help from her friends.

"Will," I started, "Tara had them put it on this disc… see, and um… she came over earlier to give it to us."

Willow continued to just look at me. I wasn't sure if any of this was actually registering or not.

"Right… and when I went looking for them… well, I saw it… I mean, I found them and then I saw it… us… and I made them give it to me… a-and a copy. There was a copy." I held up both discs. "But I got them."

"Let me get this straight." Willow said, backing up so that she had space to move around in. It was coming, the little red fury my girlfriend had inside. I could feel it. "Tara's friends recorded us in the spare bedroom at that party we went to."

"N-no!" Tara cried, "I-I didn't think it was right… I-I w-wanted you to see… to know…"

"Yeah… through a window… they… were watching it and I went in there and got both copies and so… you know…" I trailed off.

I felt like the bad guy. I hadn't done anything wrong. Tara and her friends were the culprits and yet there I was, feeling like I was responsible.

"Buffy," Willow's voice was so calm it was scaring me. "How do you know there wasn't another copy?"

"How do you know the file isn't still on someone's hard drive?" Her voice was starting to rise, her anger finally showing through. "How do you know we're not all over the fucking internet?!" She screamed suddenly.

"You're sure what?!" Willow cried, turning on her heels to face Tara. "I can't believe this!" She shouted, throwing her arms in the air.

Then back to me, "And you did nothing?! You just took the discs and brought them back with you?"

I was angry. She was making me into the bad guy and not saying anything to Tara or her friends. And why had I let those other two off so easily?

Willow turned suddenly, bringing her hand up. I wasn't fast enough and before I could stop her, we heard a resounding 'smack' as her hand met Tara's face.

It was like we were all just stuck there, unable to process what had just happened. Tara's face was frozen in shock. Willow's face was mixture of both anger and surprise.

All of a sudden Casey pushed Willow away from Tara, shouting "Lay off! It wasn't her fault either!"

I dropped the discs to the floor and jumped in, grabbing Casey by the arms, holding her back from Willow. She struggled out of my grip and fell into a fighting stance.

"Don't even think about it." I said calmly. "You are so not one of my favorite people right now and you really don't want to piss me off."

"You haven't seen me angry yet." I told her. "And I'm thinking you really don't want to. I can do a lot more damage than you can imagine. Tara knows." I nodded in her direction; she knew what I was capable of. "Don't make me prove it to you."

Without heeding my warning, she lunged forward, putting her weight into what would have been a solid punch if I hadn't blocked her and knocked her backward. I took another step toward her.

But Casey didn't listen and she lunged for me again, only this time I caught her up in my arms, securing hers behind her back, my forearm against the back of her neck.

She tried struggling from my grip, but I held her tight. "Hey! Get off!" She spat through gritted teeth.

I let her go. She stumbled a few feet, but didn't fall. Turning, she glared at me. I glared right back, facing off with her. I was prepared to fight if it was really what she wanted.

We both backed off, keeping our distance. We kept on looking at each other though, and I wondered if she was still trying to size me up, still trying to see if she could get one up on me.

No one said anything for a few moments. The tension in the room felt like a rubber band being pulled taut, about to snap.

Tara nodded that she understood. "It's okay, Will…" She told her softly before adding, "I guess we're even."

"We'll find out if there's any more copies." Claire said softly. "We're really sorry. About everything."

The three of them stepped to the door, Casey in the lead. Tara was about to exit when Willow stopped her, putting a hand on her shoulder. The blonde turned back, questioning Willow with her eyes.

"W-well… it's just that… it's hard to lose." She gave her a crooked smile before stepping back.

Tara didn't say anything, only returned her own crooked smile and nodded slightly. She turned and then they were gone into the night, disappearing behind the closed door.

I wrapped my arms around Willow and we stayed like that for a few moments, quiet.

"No. I want to see it Buffy." She turned in my arms, looking at me. "They had no right."

We bent, each picking up a disc. We made our way into the living room and I really wished we hadn't given Dawn our other TV.

"Do you think Dawn heard any of that?" I asked, realizing my sister was home and that she generally shows up for any kind of drama.

She hit the eject button on the DVD player and popped the disc out of the slim, clear case that held it.

After turning the TV on and pressing play, Willow sat down next to me on the couch.

I kept my ears trained on the stairs so that I would know if Dawn was headed down.

"I-I know that… I mean… I-I don't know how I'm going to react. I'm not sure if I'm going to be angry… er… o-or… what."

"Not a lot." I admitted. "Enough to know that it was us. Enough to go through a whole slew of reactions."

"You weren't just angry?" She asked. "I thought you would have stormed in there and gone all slayery."

"I wasn't as angry as I thought I'd be. Still not. A-and… watching it… seeing it… it kinda… made me… y'know…"

Her surprise was plain to see and I wasn't sure if I was supposed to feel bad or laugh. I suppressed the giggles and went on.

"It's us. And… we're hot." I explained. "And…" I could feel the blush racing across my cheeks. "They were watching it… the boys that had found the disc… they were watching it and… the idea of them…"

"The idea of someone else watching us turned you on?" She asked for clarification.

I thought she was going to think I was a freak. I thought she was going to be disgusted. I really thought she was going to go off on me again.

Instead she started to laugh. She wrapped her arm around my shoulder and kissed me on the cheek.

"Baby… we do it in public all the time." She pointed out. "I know how much the idea of someone seeing us turns you on. That's not new news."

"Of course, silly! I would never ever have let you ravish me all over Sunnydale if I didn't!"

We didn't say anything else. I hit 'play' on the remote and watched as we entered the room, kissing and groping, our clothes flying everywhere. Willow leaned into me, allowing me to wrap my arm around her shoulder and we willed ourselves to watch the entire video.

Now, what do two people do when they find out not only that their lovemaking was caught on video, but that a number of people watched it, and that said videos were in their possession?

Well, normal people might freak out, kill a few of those people, even run screaming in embarrassment. Or call the police and hope a very large number of charges are brought against the perpetrators. But this is Sunnydale and the police are completely inept, not to mention that we are not of the norm.

She was studying me while I kept my eyes on my sexy lover in the video. Seeing her from this angle, watching her move against me, all primal like that, it was just so intense.

She leaned against me, her lips whispering over my neck and ear. I was sure she was saying something, something probably really sexy, but I was quickly caught up in her touch and the way her hand was sneaking up my thigh.

Her lips opened around her words, her tongue snaking out to lift my earlobe into her mouth, which always feels so darn good.

"Y-you… oh that feels good." I swallowed hard and felt my insides starting to turn to mush under her attention. "You look so good fucking me." I finally managed.

There was the unmistakable sound of her arousal as she groaned and her hand clenched my thigh.

"Really?" she asked, incredulously, glancing back at the video, where our bodies were writhing and twisting into each other.

"I want to watch us. I want to see what you look like when it feels too good to keep my eyes open. I-I want to see… what I look like when I…"

"When I come around your hand." I told her boldly, pleased by the effect my words had.

"Oh, I've been around." I winked at her, playfully before pulling her against me and capturing her lips.

Even under protest to our own aching bodies, we managed to watch most of the video. Of course, that was immediately followed by us making wild monkey love all over the living room – to the shock of one younger Summers girl who was last heard shrieking and covering her eyes as she tried to run back up the stairs! That particularly heated session lasted for hours, and I'm still not sure how we managed to pull ourselves away from each other unharmed, let alone leave the furniture that way.

Buffy broke one of the discs in half and trashed it, while I kept the other – just in case. We also made a trip to that boy's house, where Buffy threatened him again with bodily harm if we should find out our little video ended up on the internet. And I couldn't help but do a search through his files while he was occupied with the slayer, just in case. I also introduced a nasty little worm onto his poor excuse of a PC that will eventually kill his hard drive, and that of anyone else he tries sending stuff to. That just makes me all warm and fuzzy inside!

Oddly enough, I wasn't that upset about the whole thing. I mean, sure, I went all kablooey and slapped Tara, but in the end I didn't let their actions affect Buffy or me in a bad way. I guess when you face vampires and monsters every day you tend to let these things go.

Or it could just be that I've turned into one major pervert; after all I did find myself secretly thanking Tara and her friends. Yes, we were unaware of what they were doing, but could we have really blamed anyone for recording us if they'd caught sight of us in the alley behind the Magic Box? And since viewing the video we've come up with all sorts of naughty ideas – and it is so good to be naughty!

It'd been a long night. Hell, a long week. Between the nerdy trio causing a ruckus all over town and the drama with that stupid video, not to mention the increase in vamp activity, this slayer was ready for a vacation!

I was almost done with my patrol. Usually Willow comes with me, but there are times when a slayer just wants to kick some demon ass on her own. Lets me relax and have some time to think. Don't get me wrong, I love when Willow decides to tag along, but the snuggles are sometimes best when we haven't spent the night out dusting vamps. Something about distance making the heart grow fonder…

I was about to head back home, having decided that it was getting too late to really catch vamps in action, when I had an idea. There was something Willow wanted, and me being the good girlfriend that I am, I wanted to get it for her. I was close enough to downtown that I could pick it up and be back home before dawn. It sounded like a good plan to me, so I set about my task.

I left the store with my head down, but kept looking around to see if anyone saw me. I ducked down the nearest alley, securing the package in my jacket, snug against my side. I wanted to get home quickly and hoped no unexpected creature of the night would try to take me on this close to sunrise when most of them were snuggling up to their stuffed demon teddy bears and happily dreaming of a Hellmouthy town without a slayer. I had to laugh at that thought. Big, bad, scary demons snuggling up to teddy bears with little horns or something on their heads.

The last thing I needed was for some vamp to see what I had under my arm. It was embarrassing enough making my purchase. I felt like I needed a shower, having never been in one of the more… exotic stores in downtown Sunnydale. I don't know if I've just spent way too much time in cemeteries or what, but I'd rather spend time with the undead than the customers in that place. They truly gave me the wiggins.

All I knew was that Willow would be surprised, and very happy with my present. We'd talked about it a few times in the last week and I figured, why wait? I knew from looking online with her what we wanted, and I also knew from a certain brunette slayer, who happened to be giving me way too much information at the time, where I could purchase such a thing.

I shifted the package under my arm, feeling its weight and picturing the contents in my head. My mind was rapidly taking a dive into the gutter, and images of an eager, wet Willow spread out before me made my sex jump and my heart beat that much faster. I honestly hadn't planned on doing anything when I got home but snuggle in beside my girl and go to sleep. I could see now that I'd either have to take care of things myself, or rouse a sleepy red haired witch in the hopes of having a little early morning roll in the sack.

I was relieved to find nothing waiting in the darkness for me on my way home. I made it through the door and listened for any sound of movement. As far as I could tell, both Willow and Dawn were fast asleep. I listened for a minute at Dawn's door before turning the doorknob quietly and peeking inside. She was sprawled across the bed, one leg hanging off, and one arm thrown above her head. Her blanket lay bunched at the foot of the bed. I was tempted to cover her back up, but I knew she'd just wind up in the same position, so I left her and headed to my room.

Willow was adorable, curled up on her side of our bed. Our bed, that always has such a nice ring to it. She had the blanket neatly tucked around her waist and I figured she had just fallen asleep. Will had a habit of sleeping like Dawn, although I've found that her leg hanging over me is rather pleasant.

I stripped out of my clothes and hit the shower, a quick one, just to get the grime off. It had sure been a long night, but not a very difficult one. I wasn't sore or too banged up, which was always a relief.

When I got back to the room I noticed that Willow was in the same position as when I left her, which meant she still wasn't in a deep sleep. I looked at her for a few moments, trying to decide whether I should wake her and show her our new toy, or let her sleep and tame my enthusiasm for later.

I wanted to play but Willow looked so peaceful. So calm and cute and… and okay, she looked damn sexy wearing my tank top too. And then there was the way a lock of her hair was laying across her cheek, ending right at the corner of her mouth.

"Nnuuh…" She groaned and turned her head slightly, as if to inform me that I was bothering her.

"Home." She pressed back against me, moving her head so that our cheeks were caressing.

I left a soft kiss at the corner of her mouth and then on her nose, making her giggle.

"I missed you." She whispered, blinking her eyes open to look at me before closing them again quickly.

"Y-you gonna get in bed?" She asked, opening her eyes and looking at me curiously.

"Well! What is it?" She struggled to sit up, pushing her weight back on her elbows.

"Umm…" I stood up and reached for the plain, brown, paper bag that sat on the nightstand. "It's… uhh…"

"Buffy!" She caught my attention with her hand on my chin. "Just tell me, already." She said sternly.

I took a deep breath, not realizing how embarrassed I'd be to actually show Willow what I'd bought.

She looked so embarrassed. Whatever was in the bag, I had a sneaking suspicion that it was something naughty. Buffy would never act this way about some plain old ordinary present. Ah! Not that her presents are ever just plain old ordinary things…

I peered inside and saw 2 boxes, but with the room still being dark, and the predawn light hardly registering, I couldn't make out what I was looking at. I leaned over and turned on the light, both of us flinching at the sudden brightness.

"Some of us don't have slayer sight, y'know." I winked at her and peeked back in the bag.

It was clear what the first box was. I pulled it out and stared, not believing she'd had the guts to buy it.

"Oh… Buffy." I looked at her, noting the way her cheeks flamed almost as red as my hair. "I-I can't believe you got these."

I pulled out the second box, looking over the outline of the black, leather harness.

I ran my hand over the smooth plastic box that housed the purple dildo, marveling at the size and its sleek look.

She was looking at the items in my hand, but wouldn't raise her eyes to look at me.

I dropped the strap-on set and pulled her to me, kissing her cheeks and forehead excitedly.

God, who would ever think those words would be so sexy?! But coming from my Willow, just after I handed her a large, purple dildo and a black, leather harness? Hell yeah!!

I captured her lips with mine, immediately welcoming her soft, artful tongue as it slipped across mine. We kissed softly for a few moments, relishing the taste of each other. Her hands splayed across my back, wound into my hair. I could feel her heart beating faster as I maneuvered to lie against her on the bed.

I feel at home with my Willow. On top of her, under her, lying beside her, holding her. Being with her is pure and perfect and the absolute best thing in the whole wide world, and there is nothing in this world or twenty other worlds that could take this from me.

I thought I was in heaven when I was dead. This world felt so cruel and cold. Everyone's in pain here and I can't stop fighting… I can't stop killing, because if I do then the evil that bleeds into this world will take over and destroy it, and I can't let that happen. I can't let that happen when I have Willow and Dawn and my friends to take care of. I felt so alone and so angry when I came back, but Willow's love brought light into my life. She showed me how good life can really be. She's allowed me to feel again – in ways Spike never, ever could. She is my rock and my heaven and I'd be nothing without her.

"Willow." I sighed, pulling away from her. "I love you. With all my heart and soul."

"I know, Buffy." She pressed her forehead against mine and smiled. "And I love you. With all my heart and soul as well."

"Don't ever doubt my love for you, baby." She whispered and I knew I never would.

"Everything we've been through," I started, "Before we were… and now… I just wanted you to know how I felt." "I know." She nodded and wrapped her arms around me, holding me tight. "You don't have to say anything else."

"I-I'm glad you got the strap-on." She grinned down at me. "I'm really looking forward to using it."

I giggled and snuggled into her, embarrassed all over again that I had even bought it. I was looking forward to using it too, but I'd never even considered getting one, let alone actually using one. I was a bit timid about how to… work it.

As if she read my mind, Willow said, "Don't worry, we'll take it slow. Y-you don't have to be worried or embarrassed about anything with me."

"Embarrassed?" I asked her. "Oh, I-I'm not embarrassed… not really… just… um… well, I've just never…"

"I-I know." She shushed me. "A-and it's okay. Before Tara, I didn't know either."

I nodded. She and Tara had done so much together. Sometimes I felt inadequate, like I couldn't give Willow the pleasure she deserved. I know that sounds silly after all we've explored together, but I guess I've always kind of felt like I didn't measure up, slayer or not.

She was running her fingers through my hair, her nails barely scratching my scalp. It felt really good, and despite my earlier excitement, I was getting really tired.

Their hands are all over me, sliding and squeezing and twisting and caressing. I try to moan but I'm caught up in kisses that last too long or maybe not long enough, but either way it feels like I can't breathe – or no, maybe I don't have to breathe.

I'm aware that I'm on my hands and knees. My legs spread out so that I'm fully exposed, dripping wet, and in front of me is one of the most beautiful parts of a woman. The most intimate and exciting part that can seem to bloom with arousal and hold on tighter than any fist when filled and sent to the height of ecstasy. And I would recognize this woman anywhere.

The trimmed, soft brown curls of Tara's center are glistening with her wetness, shining and inviting me to taste, to explore with my tongue and fingers.

Then hands around my waist, over my ass, pulling me down onto her face and I arch and moan at the contact with her mouth, her tongue and teeth as she latches onto my cunt. I'm compelled to do the same. Reaching out with my tongue I begin to offer smooth, flat licks from top to bottom, stretching as far as my body will allow me, to delve deeper into Tara's hot, wet center. To taste her musky juice, to once again bring her the pleasure I did on so many nights long ago.

More hands on my back, on my shoulders. Soft kisses on the back of my neck, fingers entering me at the same time that Tara's tongue circles my clit, flicks out against the very tip, sending my hips jerking, my heart pounding faster. I know that's my Buffy. Her long, slender fingers filling me up, her voice soft but firm, easing me into the rhythm she sets for me.

I'm on fire; my entire body expanding with the pleasure my former and current lovers are offering. I taste Tara, my chin and lips drenched in her wetness, my tongue dueling it out with the hard jumble of nerves under it, nudging and circling. I feel Buffy, filling me up, stretching me, pounding into me.

I'm rocking back and forth, meeting their attention, keeping my tongue deep between Tara's soaked folds and moaning into her at the same time. Nothing else exists but this pleasure, this electric static racing through me; their hands and tongues and fingers across my skin, inside me, sending a rainbow of colors across my vision as I near orgasm.

Then it fades… so close and it's fading! The pleasure not so intense, their hands disappearing, their soft murmurs behind my ears, caressing and teasing, but fading still.

I was still in the dream, I think. Hearing them calling me, only it was Buffy's voice I could make out. Buffy with her cute new haircut and her beautiful smile.

Her hand was on my stomach, fingers curling over my skin, causing the most delicious and comforting feeling. It was the most wonderful way to wake up.

I smiled, leaning my head against hers to maximize our closeness. Her lips brushed over my cheek, caressed the area just under my ear.

"Sleep well?" she asked, her fingers expanding their caress, making their way over my tummy.

I could feel my cunt filled with a dull ache, remnants of the dream. I was wet and wouldn't be surprised to learn that I'd been moaning and moving in my sleep.

"I know you like it." She told me and set a few soft kisses against my cheek again.

I put my hand over hers and shifted so that I could kiss her. Just a few soft pecks on her lips before moving to her shoulder and neck. Her bare breasts weighed down on me as she moved closer to accept my morning kisses.

I opened my eyes and blinked a bit, glad the drapes were still drawn shut and the morning light was diffused. I glanced at the clock and noted that it wasn't morning after all, but noonish. Sleeping in… so often not an option, but such a pleasure. Unfortunately, we had a barbeque to prepare for; a good thing that we had told everyone to come over later in the afternoon instead of at noon. I even bought those torches with the Citranella oil to put around the backyard.

"Uh huh." I grinned, leaning forward to kiss a small trail along her neck, where I know she's the most sensitive – at least on that part of her body.

Her hand found the band of my panties, a pair that had been clean until my dream. Her fingers slipped under and played with the material for a moment.

"Tell me about it?" she asked, moving forward to lavish my neck with soft kisses and nips at my skin.

It didn't take her long to move down my neck and begin working on my collarbone. The feel of her lips and tongue on my skin only heightened the ache I was still feeling.

I lifted my body up to allow her to more easily remove my tank top off – well, it was hers actually, but I love wearing them to bed. I wrapped one arm around her, splaying my fingers across her bare back. She was shirtless and I realized that she'd never gotten dressed when she came to bed last night. Such a wonderful thought.

"You slept in the buff?" I asked, tracing a finger up her slender side and ending at the curve of her breast.

"I thought I'd have plans for us this morning when I got home." She told me. "But… I-I guess I was tired, huh?"

She leaned down once more and began covering my chest with light kisses, her hand leaving the fabric of my panties alone for the time being to travel over my thighs. The sensation was wonderful but the ache was getting worse. An image of her hand inside me popped into my head, and I couldn't help the moan that escaped as my cunt coiled in want.

"Ah, a very good dream this morning, then?" Buffy asked just before taking one of my erect nipples into her mouth.

"Oh! Oh… yeah." I nodded, closing my eyes and enjoying the way her soft, hot tongue circled my nipple just before her teeth brushed over it. "Buffy…" I whispered, arching into her.

"The dream." she urged, momentarily taking leave of the stiff flesh just under her lips.

"The…? O-oh right, the dream." I nodded, knowing I wouldn't get what I wanted until I gave Buffy what she wanted.

"W-would it bother you…?" I started, "I-if I told you… that Tara was in it…?"

She shook her head and continued to lick and suckle my aching, needy nipple. I was caressing her back with one hand and gently touching her cheek with the other, just softly running the tips of my fingers along her cheek and neck.

I remembered my dream, the way they were touching me. The way Tara's mouth worked my sex over while Buffy's fingers filled and fucked me. I remembered the way I spread Tara open with my mouth and tried to delve deeper and deeper into her hot center.

"Mmm…" She acknowledged me, sucking gently on my nipple, which felt oh so good.

"Keep going." she instructed before turning her attention on my other nipple, wrapping her tongue around it.

"Ohh… Goddess, Buffy…" I moaned into her touch. "Dreams are never… ever as good as when you touch me."

Her hand cupped my sex, and I moaned again, trying not to move into her hand, but having such a hard time containing myself. Buffy wanted to hear about my dream, and she wouldn't actually touch me until she was ready. This I was very well aware of.

"Tara was licking and sucking me… my clit…" I told her. "I was doing the same to her… there was so much sensation. I-it was so familiar. A-and I knew you were there…" I continued, "I-I could feel you… your presence… even though you weren't actually touching me yet."

Her hand gripped me harder, pressing the cotton of my panties into my drenched and aching center. Her teeth nibbled at my nipple, causing me to moan and shift against her again. Her tongue and teeth felt so damn good on me, and the pressure of her hands was causing a wonderful, though slightly painful, ache.

She kissed along my chest again, working her way up to my neck, her soft lips and tongue leaving a slightly wet trail behind.

"Tell me what I did." She urged, her voice husky with desire. "And I'll give you what you want."

"You were touching me." I told her, sliding one hand over her shoulder and down her arm, feeling wonderfully firm muscles. "Your hands were e- everywhere a-and you were kissing my neck."

I brought my other hand up over her back, dragging my fingernails across her skin to rest on the back of her neck to show her. In turn, she curled her fingers under my panties again where they rested against my wet, bare skin. She pressed the back of her fingers into me slightly and I knew she could easily rip my panties off if she wanted to – and I hoped she would.

"And what else?" She asked just before capturing my flesh between her lips and sucking gently.

I moaned, shifting against her again just as her fingers slipped easily over my wet sex.

"Ohh… pounding into me. Fucking me… s-so good with Tara's tongue thrashing over my clit."

I was wet. It's so easy to get wet when Willow reacts to my touch like that. When she's been having one of those sexy dreams that wake me with her whimpering and the way her hips kind of rotate. I love teasing her and making her tell me about her dream before we make love.

Don't get me wrong. I was so in the mood for sex before she even woke up. But watching her still sleeping, having that dream - that just got me so hot. Oh, and the way she moans and whimpers when I touch her, when I urge her to keep telling me what happened in her dream – Oh God, that just gets me going!

I had my fingers slowly sliding over her clit, that perfect little nub of nerves. Her arms were around me and my lips were tracing soft lines along her neck.

"Ohh… pounding into me." She told me. "Fucking me… s-so good with Tara's tongue thrashing over my clit."

"Damn." Was pretty much all I could say as I pressed into her body, groaning at the giant ache that reached up through me.

"Oh, baby… please." She whimpered and I met her plea with my fingers slipping down deeper into her center, entering her smoothly.

Words can't describe how good it feels to be inside her when she's like that. When her cunt blossoms around my hand, welcoming and slick with her want. But her panties were in the way, hindering my movement and her pleasure. Not wanting to rip another pair – which would undoubtedly lead to me having to take her shopping again – I slowly slid my fingers out of her.

"Wha-? Oh…" She pouted and looked down at me peeling her panties down her legs. "You could have just torn them."

"And another shopping spree I can't afford?" I teasingly asked her. "Not yet, sweetie."

"I-I'll forgive you if you put your hand back where it was." She offered, grinning.

"Drive such a hard bargain…" I murmured, returning to my position and taking up where I left off.

I felt her muscles clenching around my fingers, pulling me into her deeper. Such strong muscles down there, my girl has! I never imagined making love to a woman would feel so wonderful until the first time Willow and I did. So many years of this I missed out on trying my luck with Spike and Riley and Parker and Angel. That's a lot of bad sex to make up for!

"Buffy… oh, baby… oh, you feel so good…" She was moaning, moving her hips in rhythm with my fingers.

I slipped my tongue past her parted lips and was welcomed by her own eager, attentive tongue. Deeply we kissed, our tongues caressing each other like my fingers deep inside her, moving along her hot, wet hole.

If only I could pour all of me into Willow for a time. To be completely inside her, touching her everywhere at once. I wonder if the magic is like that. Flowing through her, so much more intimate than I ever could be. Thinking like that isn't good for me, though. I can be stupidly jealous of things like that when it comes to my Willow.

Her hand quickly found my nipple and I felt my insides clench as her fingers twisted and pinched the stiffness. I groaned into her mouth, pressing my sex against her leg, feeling my wetness seep and smear.

There was no need to explain what I meant by that one word; fingers scratched their way down my belly and I was immediately rewarded with Willow's slim digits slipping between my thighs.

"Ahh… yes…" I moaned, my lips just shy of her ear. "Oh Will… baby it feels so good when we touch each other like this."

Willow's fingers quickly picked up a rhythm, sliding up and over my pulsing clit, both providing relief and intensifying the ache deep within me.

"Like this?" I asked her, picking up a new rhythm of my own and increasing the pace, thrusting my fingers into her faster. And harder.

Her free arm held onto me, her hand tight on my shoulder. I knew when we were finished she'd leave little half-moon indentations where her nails had been. I loved those little marks left behind by our lovemaking. Little reminders of what we had shared.

I could feel her muscles clinging to me. Clenching, as if that part of her were stretching in preparation for her release. I was so very close to coming; it never seems to take me long.

I kissed her hard then, meeting her tongue with mine in a grunting clash, as if battling for supremacy. My thumb mashed down onto her clit, pressing and sliding quickly up and over, circling it as I pounded my fingers into her.

We were grunting and moaning in tandem, both of our bodies tensing with the effort. I felt the perspiration break out on my back just as Willow's fingernails dug into my shoulder and she lifted her hips up, screaming out her release. My own sex coiled, the tension seizing for a moment before it exploded, sending everything unraveling into my hips and chest and toes and fingers; fingers that were still inside Willow, held onto as if being milked.

She was whispering, "I love you," over and over again in my ear and I was nodding that I did too. I love her more than anything in the whole wide world; always have, ever since the very first time I laid eyes on her. That's not something everyone can say. But I think it pretty much sums up the truth of our love.

"Come 'ere." I whispered, gathering her up in my arms and snuggling us down into the bed.

How deep. How hard. How fast and, of course, how many fingers. Sometimes it's two. Sometimes it's her entire hand. But no matter what, she seems so in tune with what I need that she always satisfies the ache, the craving to be filled. I still remember our first time, and how nervous she seemed. But when the slayer finds something she likes to do, she tends to pick up the skill pretty quickly.

I do like to encourage her, though. Tell her to fuck me. She loves hearing me say that. Dirty li'l Willow. And dirty li'l slayer too. I don't know what it is that brings this out in us. I mean, sure, Tara and I were like bunny rabbits in spring, but Buffy and I are more like bunny rabbits on speed. There's this perpetual state of horniness we're in. I easily chalk it up to finally finding the happies with my slayer, but why even try to rationalize it? I'd much rather just go with the flow and enjoy the ride.

I don't know how many fingers she had in me, but she felt so good, and then when her thumb started on my clit, I thought I would burst open right then!

"Oh yeah!" I growled, gritting my teeth, our lips still touching. "Oh Goddess, yes!"

Frantically, it seemed, I swiped my fingers back and forth over that swollen nub between my slayer's thighs, my fingers slick with her fluids. I wanted to come with her. I was getting so close; I could feel the tension stretching across my belly. I could tell from the way Buffy nodded slightly, the way the muscles in her arms and shoulders tensed, that she was close too.

Only a few moments more and I was arching up, crying out as wave after awesome wave flooded my body, rolled through me, knocking my heart around in my chest, and making me see stars. What made that very moment absolutely perfect though, was that Buffy was jerking with her own release, her fingers still inside me where I grasped and clung mercilessly.

Relaxing back onto the bed, my sex continuing in a series of spasms, I whispered, "I love you, I love you, I love you." again and again.

I was momentarily disappointed when I felt the loss of her, having become used to feeling her perfect, slim fingers inside me.

I felt almost weightless being held by such a strong, yet tender, creature as my Buffy. I was sleepy and felt drained. I could have easily gone right back to sleep in her arms; it is the most perfect place in the whole wide world, after all.

We stayed silent for a minute or so, each enjoying the post-coital comfort of our lover's body. The warmth and safety of each other's arms.

"Well," she started, looking down at our entwined bodies. "I'd rather stay here and play. But the people we call friends are coming over in a couple of hours."

"Such adorable faces you make!" She teased and began assaulting my face with tiny butterfly kisses, making me giggle and play pretend like I was defending myself.

We were both laughing and cuddling, hanging onto each other and enjoying the comfort and seclusion of our bed for a little bit longer before we headed out to face the day.

After the whole fiasco with the disc, Buffy and I talked about our plans to come out as a couple to our friends. Friends who were more like our family. We were pretty sure that they would take the news okay but we both still had that fear that they wouldn't be happy with our choices. I worried that Xander would think I somehow 'turned' Buffy. Buffy was worried about disappointing Giles. It was a big worry fest.

We knew we couldn't put it off any longer, though. We couldn't hide our relationship or ask Dawn to continue to keep quiet about it. I remember how Tara felt when I hid her from my friends. I didn't really mean to do it, but I knew they wouldn't understand. I had something of my own, something big I was still dealing with, and I thought that it would be easier in the long run not to tell anyone, or even introduce her to my friends. That just wasn't right of me.

It was different with Buffy and I, though. At least, we thought it was. We knew we were probably making too big a deal out of it – but we like to worry. It seems to be a thing we do well.

"You mean you're glad Dawn and I got so much done yesterday." I grinned, giving her a light jab in the arm.

I tried to sound exasperated, but started laughing instead. The look on her face was too cute.

She ducked her head and began nibbling on my neck. I barely remembered what we were talking about.

She kissed and nibbled gently along my collarbone and I arched into her touch, running my fingers through her golden locks. Her hands were sliding down my body, seeming to burn into me once more.

Her mouth found my breast. She circled my nipple with her tongue, wetting it slightly before blowing on it. The sensation made me shiver and long for her mouth and teeth against my sensitive skin.

"Don't play." I told her, our playful bantering completely forgotten. "Suck it." I urged.

Without another word, Buffy covered my nipple with her mouth before sucking it between her teeth. I groaned as my arousal flared once more. She swiped her tongue quickly against me before tugging with her teeth. Soon she was doing wonderfully painful things to my nipples, one with her mouth and the other with a skillful hand.

I reached up and grabbed the headboard, arching my breasts out, moaning and gasping a little bit louder as her touch turned more aggressive. Apparently my slayer wasn't satisfied with our quiet romp earlier. That was fine by me - when it comes to Buffy, I always want more.

She slid down my body, her hands continuing their assault on my eager breasts, kissing and nibbling along my ribs and tummy.

"When… a-are you… ohhh… Buffy…" I was trying to speak but she was doing that delightful little thing with her tongue that makes me forget how to form words.

Her hands left my breasts, causing me to let out a disappointed whimper. They traveled down my stomach, then along my sides, and finally under me.

I could barely make out the last word as her head dipped between my thighs and I felt her mouth at my center.

If there is one thing Buffy is good at, it's using her tongue. I don't know if it's part of her slayer stamina or what, but neither Tara nor Oz could ever use their tongues like Buffy.

"Oh! Ohh… That's… okay." I nodded and closed my eyes again, spreading my legs farther apart for her as she began to lick and suckle.

She lifted me a few inches off the bed, supporting me on her hands. I felt lost to her. Her tongue made circles around my throbbing clit, dipped low and swirled in fresh juices before returning to circle, nudge, and flick my swollen, aching flesh again and again.

I was reminded of my dream, flashes of flesh on flesh; the three of us moving together, working in tandem to push each other into oblivious pleasure.

I nudged the top of her head but she didn't stop her tongue from continuing to slip over me.

"Buffy…" I moaned and I let my eyes slip closed for a moment. "Oh, that feels… o-oh… but wait."

From between my legs she looked up at me. She arched her eyebrow, questioningly and I grinned down at her. For all the passion that had quickly flooded us, our situation struck me as comical.

"Then why not let me get back to what I was doing?" She asked before flicking her tongue out.

Her eyes slipped closed as she groaned, her breath hot and silky against my exposed sex.

She made her way back up my body, leaving a trail of wet kisses along the way. When her mouth reached mine I savored my own taste on her lips, suckled her tongue gently until she was moaning and pressing her body against mine. I kneaded her pliant breasts, and scraped my fingertips over the stiff golden peeks.

She broke from our kiss and gave me a naughty grin before turning her body around. I slid down the bed a little in order to give her more room and waited patiently - or as patiently as I could - for her to place her knees on either side of my head. I watched as Buffy pushed her firm little butt back toward me, and then her slick, swollen center was hovering mere inches above my head.

I grabbed her, clutching each shapely cheek, and pulled her down toward me, eager to lap up every last drop.

I could feel her breath on me again and I knew it wouldn't take long before she was pushing me so very close to the edge of ecstasy.

"Goddess, you're beautiful." I whispered, just before I ran the tip of my tongue along her glistening slit, finally tasting her.

She greeted me with a gentle jerk before settling her soppy cunt back against my mouth, where I began with long, slow, flat licks.

It didn't take long before she was moving slowly against me and humming into my sex as she licked me continuously. The vibrations sent shivers through me, like a tiny vibrator set on low. We moved against each other, the heat from our bodies causing our stomachs and breasts to break out in perspiration, slightly sticking to each other as we moved.

I licked her engorged node faster, pulling her open, expanding the quivering folds around it. I concentrated on that one little spot I knew would bring her to orgasm, pushing her closer and closer to release. It's an awesome thing to feel her come against my face. "Oh fuck…" I murmured into her sex.

Buffy wasn't slacking off either. Her tongue thrashed over my clit furiously and I could feel everything expanding, yet growing tighter; and like a rubber band I was going to snap at any moment.

I held her against me more securely, and my hips moved as if they held their own free will. I closed my lips around her clit and sucked it into my mouth. The move made her cry out and buck against my face, but she never stopped her ministrations on my tensing cunt long enough to lose the rhythm. I sucked that perfect little jumble of nerves with all my might, holding her to me even as her hips threatened to buck her out of my mouth.

Then I felt it, like a huge wave rising up over a tall wall. I let go of her clit and simply licked it. Hard. Over and over as I let out my cries of pleasure, my hips bucking up, even against the weight and pressure of my slayer's strong body. She continued to lick around my clit, drawing out my orgasm until she came.

Her cunt crashed down onto my face, riding me, my tongue, my mouth, my teeth. She howled into my quivering sex, causing me to jerk and gasp.

I was stroking her thighs and kissing her trimmed pussy lips softly when she giggled.

She moved away from me, careful not to knock her knee into the side of my head – something that's happened on many occasions. She laid her body on top of mine, our lips close, but not touching.

I smiled back and just took a moment to observe her. Her lips and chin were still damp with my wetness, and I could smell myself, as surely as she could smell her own scent. It was naughty and erotic, and I couldn't help but snake out my tongue and lick her bottom lip.

"Mmm…" She closed her eyes and darted the tip of her tongue out to catch mine.

We smiled and held each other, the weight of her slender, firm body on top of me making me feel safe and cared for.

"Mmm… more Willow kisses. I love Willow kisses." She smiled and gave me a few pecks on my cheeks, chin, and nose. "And I love you too, baby."

"I mean, I hate to interrupt the Mega Lesbo-Love-Fest," She started, trying to sound stern, "But we do have things to do, y'know." She giggled and rapped a tune on the door.

"Count of three and I'm coming in!" Dawn shouted threateningly through the door.

"Don't you dare!" Buffy and I shouted back in unison as Buffy scrambled off of me.

"I thought that would get you moving." Dawn laughed, apparently having heard Buffy curse as she nearly fell over.

"We'll be down in a little while, Dawnie." I shouted, sitting up and grinning at Buffy's scowling, but still nude state.

I just smiled. As much as Buffy liked to complain and gripe about Dawn, she loved her and equally loved having her around.

I'd listened at their door about 3 times before I thought it was safe enough to knock.

If there was ever anything I'd learned in the few months since my sister and Willow had become a couple, it was to A) never just barge in, and B) always listen before you knock. I didn't want to disturb them, and there was usually always something going on to disturb. I couldn't even go into the living room anymore without having flashbacks.

There wasn't any response so I continued in the sternest voice I could muster, seeing as how I was trying not to laugh. "I mean, I hate to interrupt the Mega Lesbo-Love-Fest, but we do have things to do, y'know."

I giggled and knocked again, thumping out a tune I'd had in my head most of the morning.

Not that Buffy ever would, but she was always threatening to. I can't help it; sometimes it's fun to annoy Buffy.

"Don't count on it, Dawnie!" Willow shouted, but I caught the giggle that followed.

I knew that would do it. And I was right because I heard Buffy stumble and curse. For a slayer she's always so clumsy!

If everyone hadn't been planning on coming over, I would have gladly let them sleep in. Or, do all the things I don't even like to think about, let alone hear or see. I never really minded hearing Willow and Tara, but this is my sister we're talking about!

Besides, Buffy needed to do her share of helping out. The day before she hung up strings of light in the backyard and then posted those Tiki torches Willow bought that have stuff to keep bugs away in them. After that, she disappeared for like 4 hours while me and Willow made all the foodstuff. I don't know who Willow thought we were feeding, but unless she thought we were going to have several Xanders and maybe a slew of other slayers, we were definitely not going to need all that food.

But leftovers are good. Buffy always comes home from slaying so hungry. She can be such a pig sometimes.

I'm just glad that Giles got The Council to pay Buffy. I was getting really tired of Doublemeat burgers every night. And Willow was complaining about the non-Buffy smell. It's not a lot of money. But it allows Buffy to slay without having to worry about a regular job. And she can afford to pay all the bills and some extras. Willow contributed with the extra money she got from her scholarships; but the money The Council pays Buffy allowed Willow to keep going to school without asking her parents for any - something she told me she always had to do in the past, and despised.

Things had changed so much since Buffy first came back. In the beginning it was almost like she wasn't even back, just this shell of a sister I once had. Not that I wasn't glad to have her back or anything. Shell of a sister is better than Buffybot, right? But she never paid attention to me. Or, when she did it seemed like all she did was yell or complain. She was mean and uncaring and didn't even see what was going on with Willow and the magic. Tara left. I was stealing and everything just seemed to be falling apart.

But then she and Willow got together. Everything started to change. It was like she was finally alive again. Like I had my sister back again. Buffy was happy. Willow was happy. I was happy. Everyone could see the change and thankfully, nothing's been like those first few dark months right after Buffy came back. It's been nearly perfect since then.

Willow came into the kitchen, smiling. She was wearing a tee shirt and had her hair pulled back in a ponytail – something I hadn't really seen in a while. I can admit she looked really cute.

"Hey Will! I was just wondering if you still wanted me to come over early to start with the charcoal."

"Yes, please." I grimaced at the thought of trying to start the charcoal pit. Xander had built a brick one in the backyard, but neither Buffy nor I could ever get the darn thing going. "I hate messing with all that without the witch- fu, y'know?"

"Ha-ha, Dawn. Wait 'til you get a boyfriend, I-I'm going to tease you all the time!"

"Oh please! You'll never hear or see me having sex." She emphasized the word 'see' and I blushed, remembering how she screamed in retreat upon witnessing Buffy and I getting freaky in the living room.

"Just you wait, Dawnie." I started, waving my finger. "When it's so good you can't feel your toes, y-you'll be screaming too."

"Ick! Stop!" She screamed and covered her ears even though there was a huge grin on her face. "So don't want to hear this!"

"Nothing!" Dawn interrupted, putting her hands up. "Nothing I want to hear any more about."

"There's something… disturbing about that, Will." She teased and poked me with her finger.

I attempted to catch her finger but quickly gave up, leaning in for a kiss instead.

It was soft and slow and I couldn't help but lean into her. Feeling her lips on mine always relaxed me so much; I could die a happy woman having her kiss me like that.

"Nor this witch." I told her, grinning. "But… Y-yknow, we should really get a gas grill."

"We should." She nodded. "I could kill that icky yellow demon from landing on my mom's last month… err, kill him again. Stupid demon." She huffed, rolling her eyes. "If we have enough money next month, now that the summer's finally here."

"To be able to grill out without Xander having to get things going." She nodded in agreement.

Buffy opened the fridge to eye all the food Dawn and I had prepared. "Wow, nice spread." She said.

I came up behind her and put my hand on the small of her back, where a strip of her skin was showing.

"Maybe a little something." She nodded, turning around to face me. "Not all my hunger's been satisfied, Will."

I rolled my eyes but couldn't stop from grinning. "Then let me fix you a sandwich or something."

I opened the fridge and saw tons of food containers and trays with aluminum foil over them. Willow and Dawn had really been busy.

My stomach churned letting me know that eating was a good idea. I have a really high metabolism and exerting energy like slaying or having sex can make me really hungry.

"Maybe a little something." I nodded and turned to face her, grinning. "Not all my hunger's been satisfied, Will."

I love when she takes care of me. Doing the little things like making me lunch. It makes me feel really good – loved and cared for. No one's ever really taken the time to do those things for me before.

"Ham? Egg Salad? Turkey?" She gently pushed me aside and ducked her head into the refrigerator. "What'll it be?"

I watched as she took the egg salad out then grabbed the loaf of white bread, setting both on the island.

She looked up at me smiled before licking her finger where she had a dab of yellow egg mush.

"I-I think I'm the one who should be thanking you." She finished spreading the egg salad and, placing the other slice of bread on top, continued. "I woke up all… needy."

She let her lips curl into a sexy smile and handed me the sandwich. My insides warmed and I smiled back.

"That's one way to put it." I agreed, nodding. "But you know, Willow, i-if you hadn't woken up that way, I still would have pounced on you."

I nodded and took a bite of my sandwich. She makes the best egg salad I've ever tasted.

"You could have woken me up sooner, y'know." She ran her fingertips along my arm, admiringly.

"I know." I started, "But I wanted you to get your sleep. You were up late studying again, weren't you?"

"Yeah. I truthfully don't know what I was thinking taking summer classes. They're grueling."

"Oh, darn tootin' I will!" She said with a wide smile. "I-It's just… a lot harder than I expected."

"Sounds like a good idea to me, Will." I leaned over and kissed the corner of her mouth. "But I'll never be put off if you prioritize school over me. You do know that, right?"

We kissed softly, her tongue just barely grazing over mine before we pulled apart.

"Up? What's up? N-nothing… nothing's up! What's up with you, Xander?" She laughed nervously before ducking her head, embarrassed.

I slid off the stool and hugged him, something we had started to do recently. I felt like we had grown so far apart that when I finally came back to myself and realized what wonderful friends I had, and just how good my life could be with Willow, I had made a promise to myself. A promise to always make sure my best friends knew just where they stood in my heart.

"Mmm… Buffy hug." He had a cheesy grin on his face. "I'm starting to really get used to these."

"Wow, put me right to work." He grinned and cocked his head toward the door. "I put everything out back already."

"Cool." I said, excited. "Big man make big fire." I teased and headed for the door.

They shared a laugh at my expense, but it was good to have my two bestest friends laughing about one of the many things we'd been through together.

"Ooh," Xander started, "Cranky Buffy or Cave Buffy?" He glanced at Willow who didn't bother to hide her grin.

I opened my mouth to say something about how much I loved her tongue, but I thought I better save it until after Xander knew Willow and I were making with the lesbian lovin'.

"You guys love me." I said instead and mimicked Willow by sticking my tongue out.

Xander and Buffy spent most of the rest of the afternoon out back at the charcoal pit. Xander tended to it while Buffy watched on, smiling, the two of them talking and laughing. I occasionally watched through the window, letting them have some alone time. I wondered what Xander would think, realizing that Buffy never went for him, because she had feelings for me. It was part of our worry about their reactions. Gay was one thing – but there were always exceptions.

Dawn went out there every once in awhile to bring Xander a beer. Buffy promised she wouldn't drink until everyone was there. She doesn't hold her liquor very well.

Soon Giles and Anya arrived, coming straight from the Magic Box after closing up early. Anya griped momentarily about losing money, until Xander grabbed her and kissed her. Apparently smoochies with Xander were far better than making money. I was so happy for them, and a little relieved to hear that they were planning on putting off the wedding for a summer date.

Buffy was right, Dawn and I had gone on a binge with the food – there was way more than we needed. But Dawn was right to assume Buffy would quickly put a rather large dent in the leftovers, since slaying can make her so hungry – in more ways than one.

Not to mention Xander's eating habits could quite possibly match the Slayer's any day. He probably had 3 hamburgers and at least two pieces of barbequed chicken, not to mention heaping piles of potato, macaroni, and fruit salads.

We sat around the table, enjoying the warm evening air, talking and laughing. We reminisced about past apocalypses. Joked warmly about people that had come in and out of our lives, affecting us one way or another. We were enjoying each other's company, relaxing into each other and I knew that that was where I belonged. No matter what dangers we face or what drama we put ourselves through, these people – Giles, Xander, Buffy, Dawn, even Anya – they were my family. More of a family than my parents could ever be.

The sun began to set and Buffy switched on the lights she had hung up around the backyard the day before. It was breathtaking! Twinkling white lights were wrapped around the trees, along the fence, as well as looped over the railings of the back porch.

Catching Buffy's questioning look, I nodded. A silent agreement between us that it was time to tell everyone our news, since they were all well fed and relaxed.

"Hey guys." I said, standing up, catching everyone's attention. "We uh…" I looked over at Buffy for support.

She walked towards us from the back porch where she had just switched on the pretty lights.

"Good Lord, Buffy, was it?" Giles asked standing up, quickly jumping into Watcher Mode.

For a moment no one said or did anything. I could see the panic rising in Giles' face.

Buffy broke out into a huge smile, meeting mine. Giles looked confused before slumping back down in his chair, shaking his head.

"Sorry Giles." Buffy told him genuinely, although her playful smile remained intact. "But you're just too easy."

Not looking amused, Giles ran a hand through is graying hair before putting his glasses back on.

"We've certainly been through enough that I have every right to react in haste when Buffy does that."

I nodded. "The 'I'm the Slayer and I'm going to have to save the world again' look."

I made my way over to Buffy, linking my hand in hers as we faced our friends… our family. Giles and Xander glanced at our joined hands before arching their eyebrows at us. Anya happily popped a grape into her mouth before resting her chin on her hand, ready to listen. Dawn merely smiled, although I almost thought she might squeal in excitement.

My lips curled into a soft smile as Willow walked toward me. She grabbed my hand and I grasped hers in return, squeezing reassuringly, even though my heart had really begun to hammer in my chest. I was nervous and I hoped that I wouldn't have to do all of the talking. Willow, although at times really resourceful, can fall into a babble that can confuse even Tara – someone I thought was always much better at deciphering Willow Speak than even Xander. I love Willow, but she can still lose me.

"So what's up, you two?" Xander asked, leaning on his elbows. "You discover a new big bad in town, or what?"

"Umm…" I started where she left off. "Ah, right." I nodded. "We're um… kinda… well, not kinda…"

"Definitely… not kinda." Willow agreed, her face breaking out into a large, goofy grin.

"Oh-kay." Xander sighed, glancing around. "That tells us a lot." He said, sarcastically.

No one said anything and I wondered if I had really said it out loud or just thought about how I wanted to say it.

"Yeah…" Xander started. "Together right there in front of us. Even living in the same house."

Anya rolled her eyes but said nothing. It was pretty shocking, to say the least.

With way too much excitement, Anya slapped Xander's arm, saying, "They're orgasm buddies!"

"You have no idea!" Dawn cried before quickly covering her face in embarrassment.

"We're… not just orgasm buddies!" Willow stated, giving Anya an exasperated look; Anya in turn just shrugged. "We're-"

"Really, Giles?" I asked, needing confirmation and a reassurance from the man I considered my real father.

"Wait." Xander said, interrupting our moment. "You guys are… in love? With each other?"

We turned to him, both of us nodding. He was pointing his finger from me to Willow and back again. I willed him to be okay with it. I didn't want to lose him, not after we were finally getting close again.

"What?" Xander asked, perplexed. "I'm just making sure I'm… err… on the same page as everyone else."

"Don't be stupid, Xander." Anya warned him. "Or jealous." she added. "They've been making with the eye contact and touchie-feelies for a while now. Any dummy could see it coming."

"No. Not really." She shrugged. "I just suspected, but you're always telling me I talk too much and say things when I should be quiet, so I didn't say anything about it."

Dawn leaned forward, eyeing him. "Xander… You're not wigged about them, are you?"

"No." he said, looking at each of us, meeting our eyes. "Just… wasn't expecting that. I mean, it's not every day your best friends… who both happen to be incredibly hot… girls… tell you they're in love with each other."

"I like both Xander, I always have." I told him. "I-I just… never really acted on it before."

"Oh." Xander thought for a moment. "So Will, you're still into… both… too, huh?"

"Nope." She shook her head. "Sorry to… uh… burst your fantasy bubble there, sweetie, but I jumped that ship when I met Tara and never looked back."

"Yeah, we are." I told him. "I'm sorry we didn't tell you guys sooner. I-it's just…"

"We've been… trying to get used to it…" Willow continued for me. "Circumstances h-haven't exactly been-"

"It's okay, Will." Xander interrupted. "You don't have to explain." He cocked his head, looking at us. "How long?"

"I think since the night Buffy dusted Spike, right?" Dawn asked looking at us for confirmation.

"Wow." Xander said before his mouth curled into a naughty grin. "So how did you two figure this one out?"

"We've uh…" I wasn't sure if I should tell Xander that I was attracted to Willow pretty much from the beginning.

"Been attracted to each other… uh… for a long time." Willow admitted, blushing. "Since… high school."

"Since…?" Xander looked back and forth between us. "But… Willow wasn't gay in high school!" He narrowed his eyes at Willow. "You were with Oz… a-and we had that… whole… thing…"

I rolled my eyes. "Can we not go there?" I asked, "It was painful enough when I found out then."

"What about him?" I asked. "I loved him, yes. A-and there'll always be a place in my heart for him. But… I've always been attracted… had feelings for Willow." I told them honestly.

"A-and I felt the same way." She said, meeting Xander's piercing glare. "I-I just always pushed it away. Until I met Tara. Oz had left a-and… when I met her… I didn't want to hide the real me anymore."

"So… you and me…?" Xander motioned between him and Willow. "What was that all about?"

"Xander…" Willow whined. "We were in high school. I-I really can't explain what my emotions and hormones were thinking."

He looked up at us, and after a moment he shook his head. Standing, he walked over to us shyly.

"I'm sorry if I just acted like a jerk for a minute there. I… just shocked." He told us, blushing. "If my best friends are happy, then I'm happy too."

They hugged, holding onto each other tightly. A moment later an arm from each of my best friends reached out and tugged me into the hug. I couldn't help the huge smile from appearing on my face as I rested my head on Xander's broad chest and Willow's fingers caressed my back.

When we parted, we were all smiling at each other, knowing this wasn't going to affect our friendship in any negative ways. And something told me that some of Xander's fantasies might have come true for him, even if there was still no way he'd ever become a part of our girl-girl lovin'.

"Congratulations, girls." Giles said, taking me into his arms. "I… suspected, as well… and I'm very glad you two have managed to find happiness with each other."

"Thanks, Giles." I whispered, pulling away from him. "That means a lot… that you approve."

His arms felt good around me. He's hugged me only a handful of times since we met, but those hugs felt more intimate than any time my own father showed his affection.

"Great." I said, pulling away and glancing over at Buffy who stood watching us, a gently smile playing over her face. "But there's more."

I nodded but didn't respond. Instead I walked the few steps back over to Buffy and pulled her to me for a soft kiss.

"No. No 'Ohh…'" I shook my head, and shot him a look. "That wasn't it. W- we… Well, me, really. Me have… uh, I mean, I have something else to say."

Buffy's hand was on my back, gently circling in a relaxing caress. Supporting me. Reassuring. That's what my Buffy does.

Dawn made a face as if to tell me to hurry up. I think she was upset that we managed to actually keep something from her.

The two men twisted the tops of their Heineken bottles and took long swallows. Anya grabbed the bottle from Xander, scowling that he hadn't thought to get her one, and took a sip before setting it down in front of her.

Grinning, Buffy handed Xander another. He blushed and returned the grin before twisting the top of, keeping the bottle away from Anya.

Giles watched me closely. Xander arched his eyebrow, glancing from me to Buffy. Anya smiled, no doubt happy to see me so nervous. Dawn crossed her arms over her chest, waiting.

"Relax Willow." Buffy whispered; her hand making those nice circles on my back again. "Just take your time."

I nodded and closed my eyes. This really was the hard part. We had stressed and worried so much over telling them that we were a couple, it hadn't really occurred to me that I should be telling them this too. And once Buffy brought the subject up, I was worried that I would have no support from them at all. I tried pushing the matter out of my head, even telling Buffy I was reconsidering it.

"I-I'm thinking… well, I was thinking… that uh… w-well, I want to… to study magic again."

"Right!" I commented quickly. "The… right way. W-with help. A-and no… taking advantage of the magicks."

"Ah, Willow," Giles started, smiling awkwardly before continuing softly. "Are you quite sure that's a smart idea?"

"Yes. I-I was." I nodded in agreement. "But… you know… it's not so easy to just stop doing magic. I-I mean… I-It's in me. The power. A-and I think… I-I mean, we think…"

"Tara thinks." I told him, bringing his attention back to me. "Tara thinks that… with time, a-and with the right teachers…" I trailed off, looking down at my feet.

"Giles…" Buffy started, "She's been doing so good. A-and you know how stubborn she can be about… well, about everything really."

"If we could get back to the subject at hand, ladies." Giles rapped on the table top, bringing our attention back to him.

"Giles," I tried again, "I don't ever want to go to that o-out of control place again. Not like I was a-after we… a-after I brought Buffy… back."

Buffy's arm wrapped around me reassuringly and I leaned against her, glad for the contact.

"But I still want to help." I told him. "I'm still research girl, a-all the way. But… too often we deal with things that… we need magic for. A-and… not knocking your skills, Giles, but…"

He held up a hand. "No. You're quite right, Willow. We deal with far too many mystical threats and far too often, magic has been the key to both information and the defeat of these things."

"How can Tara help you, Will?" Xander asked me. "You were with her when you really started getting it on with the mojo."

"Ah!" Xander reacted quickly. "Not getting it on… I-I uh… mean… maybe in my fantasies of young witches doing spells together but certainly I didn't mean to say that I thought that…" He caught everyone but Giles glaring at him and said, "Shutting up now."

"Xander, you're right." I told him. "I-I was with Tara when I really started to gain my power and explore the craft. But…" I looked down at my hands again, guilty. "I-I didn't listen to her. I-I thought… I thought I knew it all. Tara's well learned and cautious and… a-and I never was."

I looked up at my family, all of them with looks of understanding and sympathy crossing their faces.

"I want to learn, Giles." I told him plainly. "Not that I don't realize why… b- but you always tried to keep me away from magic… a-and… When I realized I have a true talent for it… I liked the power." I sighed, looking down again. "I liked it too much. A-and I was too impatient to really learn the value of it… to learn my gift."

"Tara told her they could study together. Not just how to do spells, but what magic is really all about. Where it comes from and how to use it… all that stuff." Buffy told them, trying to explain.

"I trust her." Buffy told all of them. "I know Will did some… well, some pretty stupid things."

"But I know enough to know that learning control over what I truly believe is a gift, is way different than taking advantage of power and… a-and using it to make party favors at the drop of a hat."

"A-and I think," She continued. "That Tara knows the dangers that lie ahead for Willow, and wants to keep her off that path, as much as the rest of us do." She hugged me tighter. "And besides all that, I wouldn't let her do anything I wasn't sure she could handle." She kissed my cheek softly before adding. "Not now that I'm actually paying attention."

Everyone was quiet for a few moments, and I looked at each of them. I didn't need their permission to go back to my studies of witchcraft, but I did need their support. And I was hoping that this time Giles would help me learn as well.

It was true what I told Buffy that night at the party; the magic is a part of me. I can feel it inside me, like a gentle hum. Every day was a true struggle to get through when I first quit doing spells. Since that time, I had come a long way, but it was still a struggle, having nothing in my life that connected me with witchcraft, I felt lost. Having Buffy made me feel alive, made me realize that there was a world away from magic that I could tap into and be incredibly happy… But in all my effort to be happy with Buffy, it still wasn't enough. I needed the connection – not in an addiction-y type way, but in a spiritual one.

"I think it's a very brave decision, Willow." Giles spoke up, breaking the silence.

He nodded, standing up and coming toward us. I couldn't meet his eyes at first. I felt like I was twelve again, seeking approval and knowing I would never measure up.

Buffy backed away from me just as Giles' hands found my shoulders. I looked up into his eyes, searching, and felt mine mist over.

"You're quite right," He admitted, cutting me off. "I should have been teaching you, instead of trying to keep you from magic. I saw the potential for power in you and I… I was reminded of me… and I feared you going down the same path as I did."

"But that was completely wrong of me." He continued. "And I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed me the most. And… I'm sorry I didn't step in when I saw the changes in you sooner. Before… before things started going so horribly wrong for you."

"Already done!" I wrapped my arms around him and indulged in another tight hug, feeling months of tension between us dropping away.

"Now," He began, pulling away. "I hope that you and Tara won't mind if I lend a hand in your… new training, as it were."

"You won't be the only one, Dawn." Buffy quipped from beside me, nudging my shoulder with her own.

It was a sensitive subject we had all been avoiding – not just my magic use spiraling out of control, but my addiction to the magic energy that Rack dealt out like a seedy drug pusher. Oddly enough, though, I was glad for the humor. In her own way, Dawn let me know that she really had forgiven me, and would support me in my decision.

A few weeks had passed since we told our friends about us, and Willow's decision to return to magic. Tara and Giles were both working with Willow and her magic, setting up a schedule around Tara's summer classes and Giles' time at the Magic Box. The three of them quickly became very dedicated to helping Willow get back on the right path with her magic use. Tara was reintroducing Willow to Wicca as a religion, and this time around, Willow was paying attention.

Things were going smoothly and we soon settled into a comfortable 'couple' place within our closely-knit group. We didn't hold back from a few smoochies or hugs in the company of our friends. Xander never mentioned thinking Willow had 'turned' me, something she had voiced her worry about a few times. He and Dawn occasionally took to teasing the new 'lovebirds' until Anya mentioned orgasms – that usually sent Dawn away.

Giles was really supportive of us. We talked privately about my choice and he told me that he had always wished me happiness, and was as broken hearted for me as I was when both Angel and Riley had taken off. But he knew Willow was steadfast; and besides being a wonderful person, he knew that we had a special connection and a friendship that went back a long time – something he insisted was a firm foundation for any relationship.

And he's right. We understand things about each other that no other lover ever could. No one can just come into my life and pretend to know me. With Willow, she really does know me. Our friendship has passed the test of time. Apocalypses, evil boyfriends, exploding schools, hellgods, death, magic – whatever we went through before finally having the courage to admit to our own feelings, we had to stick together, work through the problem and find a solution.

Willow, Xander, Giles and I have always been more than some evil-fighting team, we're a family. And if Willow and I can endure the trials of living over a Hellmouth as friends, I think we have a pretty great shot at succeeding as partners.

Buffy was off patrolling with Xander. I was hoping she wouldn't stay out too late since I really wanted my snuggly time with her before I went to sleep. I thought I would stay up for awhile and do some maintenance on my laptop, just to pass the time. It wasn't like I had classes the next morning, but I did tell Giles and Anya that I would be at the Magic Box by noon to help with their inventory. Giles even offered to pay me for my time, but with all that he was doing for me, I refused to let him. Anya seemed much happier with that arrangement.

Going through the stack of software CDs I had in a small CD case, I came across a purple disk with the word 'party' scribbled on it in my handwriting. I stopped, considering for a moment. Neither Buffy nor I had watched the video of us at the party since the night I found out about it, but I had kept it just the same, putting it in with the important disks for my computer – someplace I knew Dawn would never look.

I shook my head and decided I would do the maintenance and updates later. I took my laptop and the disk with me up to our bedroom, turning off the house lights on my way. Thankfully Dawn was already in bed. She had a nasty habit of walking in only seconds after knocking, asking what Buffy or I were up to. Oh, not when Buffy and I were together, though. She knew better than that.

I plugged the laptop into the TV so that I could run the disk on the computer, but watch it on the 38" TV my parents had given me after deciding they wanted to buy a bigger one – something that boggled my little ol' brain. I never really remembered them watching TV while I was growing up. Maybe my father, in his retirement, had taken to watching old 'MASH' reruns or something…

With anticipation, I made my way over to the bed, stopping beside it and watching as the video flickered onto the screen, showing the empty bedroom at Tara's friends' apartment.

I didn't need to see us having sex to become aroused; just the thought of what I was about to watch had created a gentle yearning in my center. I lifted my long denim skirt and yanked my panties down – having made up my mind that a little self-satisfaction until my Slayer came home might be in order. I took off my blouse and removed my bra, leaving me in just my skirt and a skimpy under-tank.

I watched as Buffy and I made our way into the room, gauging our way around boxes, flinging clothes off and practically clawing at each other. Seeing our passion like that – ours, and not a couple of porn stars pretending to be into it - is absolutely thrilling. And darn arousing too.

I turned the lamp off and got on the bed, relaxing back against the pillows. There was no sound on the video, and I wished that I could hear us. Hear our moans and screams and the begging I knew would come. When Buffy and I made love, it was raw passion and release. It was almost like a pushing and pulling of wills. Like wrapping yourself around someone else and touching every single inch of them, and then having them explode to fill up every one of your pores with their ecstasy, with their simple, yet profound pleasure.

My hand fluttered over my tummy, dragging the hem of my shirt up a few inches to expose the flesh beneath. Lightly, I ran my fingertips over my skin. The contact, along with the immensely sexy visual in front of me, was drawing my arousal out, like tiny lines connected to each part of my body and all leading to one central area.

Minutes passed and I watched as our video counterparts moved together, mouthed words I couldn't remember, arched and stretched into each other, creating and pulling pleasure from each other.

I remembered that night. I remembered how Buffy pushed me up against the building wall and sunk her hand into my panties, how she slid and twisted and pinched until I was pushing back against her, coming with her fingers in my mouth. I remembered her telling me how she had come against me, but it wasn't enough. Soon after that we had seen Tara; watched as those girls were all over each other right there in the kitchen, how Tara's eyes caught ours just moments before she came.

I remembered what the atmosphere was like, how the entire place seemed to be throbbing, as if breathing sex - bodies and breath and heartbeats swelling in need.

Buffy and I needed each other that night. We touched and tasted and fucked in an almost animalistic way that sent both of us over the edge again and again. So many times since that night we had pushed our pleasure to the limits, but seeing our passion, viewing it as opposed to being a part of it, was having a considerable effect on me. I was craving Buffy with a ferocity that didn't show its face very often.

On the video, Buffy's fist was pounding into me as I clung to the bedding, pushing back against her as if trying to swallow her.

My skirt was up around my hips, and my legs spread slightly. I moaned softly as the cool air crept over my exposed, wet sex. With one hand, I slid my shirt up over my breast, cupping it, and caught my erect nipple between my forefinger and thumb, squeezing gently. With my other hand, I spread myself open, and not wasting any time, dipped my fingers into the wetness that had gathered there, waiting.

I watched myself slide down Buffy's body. Watched as she arched into me, meeting her slick cunt to my eager mouth, to my searching fingers.

Watching us had gotten me so hot I knew it wouldn't take long at all. I traced my fingers along my engorged and soaked flesh; traced the path that I knew so well, while dipping my hips down against my hand. My thighs began a slight tremble and I moved my hand faster, moaning over and over as I brought myself closer to release. I fingered my left nipple, pinched and twisted like I knew Buffy would.

I caught movement out of the corner of my eye, and glancing at the doorway, I shoved the hand I had just been tormenting my breast with against my mouth, locking in the sounds I was making.

Buffy rested against the doorframe, a lusty grin plastered across her features. Our eyes locked briefly before I was forced to squeeze mine closed as my orgasm ripped through me, unfurling a deep scream from my throat. I kept my hand clamped down on my mouth, suddenly embarrassed, and afraid Dawn would hear.

I took the stairs two at a time. The hunt had been a good one. Sunnydale was down seven vamps and two demons by the time I arrived home that night, and while most of the vamps had been fledglings and an easy kill, the others gave me a good fight. I had the dust and demon blood on me to prove it – as well as the blood in my veins pumping at a furious rate.

I heard her before I reached the bedroom. The sounds she made were faint, but with my slayer hearing, unmistakable. Slayer lust can be such a difficult force to contend with, especially with Willow in my bed. I wasn't upset or put off in any way that she had started without me. From experience I knew we would be up for hours.

I eased the door open, not wanting to disturb her. I wanted to watch without her knowing I was there. I wanted to see that look on her face when she came. I wanted to see the desperate way her hand moved against her shaking body.

I had to temper my urge to jump on her when I saw her on the bed, with her skirt pulled up around her waist, and her undershirt pushed up towards her shoulders. With one hand on her breast, and the other between her legs, she moaned and moved at a quick pace, closing in on the edge of pleasure. My sex jumped at the sight, and my abdomen seemed to curl as my arousal and need for Willow flared.

When she glanced at me her eyes became wide with shock, then she clamped her hand down on her mouth and could no longer hold her eyes open. She was coming and bucking against her hand and I could feel my own juices flowing. I could smell her; feel her heat even as I still stood in the doorway.

I moved into the room, closing the door behind me without a sound. Willow's chest rose and fell quickly and she closed her legs, squeezing them shut against the hand that still rested there. I watched her calm down. Watched as she refused to open her eyes.

"You… could have given me a heart attack." She said after a few moments, getting her breathing under control again.

I leaned down and dragged my lips softly against her cheek, stopping at the corner of her mouth. She made a happy little noise and I smiled, kissing her lips softly before standing back up.

I glanced at the TV and recognized our video instantly. No wonder Willow couldn't wait until I got home. On the screen we were just starting to cuddle after making love and the intensity of that night came back to me suddenly. I had to close my eyes briefly to once again restrain my urge to simply pounce on Willow and let the slayer have her way with her.

I ran my fingers along her arm, stopping where her legs covered her hand. She relaxed, and I picked her hand up, feeling the moisture from her sex. I brought her hand up and leaned toward it at the same time, meeting my mouth to her fingers, tasting her. I heard her groan in appreciation at the sight I was providing, and I let my tongue linger on her middle finger before sucking the digit into my mouth.

I kissed the tips of her fingers before releasing her hand completely, and nodded that I should. I was gritty and smelly and as much as I wanted Willow right then, I respected her 'no vamp dust in the bed' rule.

"I'll only be a few minutes." I vowed, knowing I would rely on my slayer speed to soap up and rinse off quickly.

Once in the bathroom, I turned the shower on, stripping down quickly, as the spray of water turned from cool to hot in a matter of moments. Steam filled the room as I slid the curtain aside and stepped in. The hot water felt good on my tense muscles, massaging the fight out of them. I shampooed my hair and soaped up everything else as quickly, yet as thoroughly, as I could.

I had my hands pressed against the bathroom wall, letting the hot water fall over my neck and shoulders, feeling my insides constrict with need. I thought about Willow splayed on the bed, her fingers rounding her clit at a furious pace, bringing herself to orgasm. I thought about her hand covering her mouth as the blush crept over her neck and face, and then as her orgasm suddenly rocked through her. I thought about our friend sitting in the top of my bureau and how good it would feel to be between Willow's legs, thrusting into her as the leather strap slipped against my center with each stroke.

It didn't take long for Willow to demonstrate the many uses of Mr. Strap-on after I had brought it home. The day after we told our friends about our relationship and Will's decision to study magic again, we sent Dawn off to spend the day with Xander and Anya, while Willow and I locked ourselves in the bedroom with nothing but a couple of bottles of water - and lube. She was so excited about showing me, and even more excited when I picked the strap- on up and tried it out myself. Never let it be said that us slayers don't have any stamina. I think I tuckered my poor li'l Willow out that day. No wonder Faith was so eager to tell me all about the wonders of strap-on sex. I must have seemed so lame to her!

I shut off the water and grabbed a fluffy white towel in my haste to dry the wet beads from my flushed skin. In moments I was back in the bedroom, eyeing a very nude red head on my bed. She was on her side, facing away from me, her hand resting on her thigh. Silently, I slid the top bureau drawer open and took out the strap-on. I watched Willow's unmoving form as I buckled the harness around my waist and snapped the dildo in place.

She started at the sounds of the snaps, not turning, but pausing in her even breathing. I grinned, knowing that she knew exactly what I had just done.

I moved behind her on the bed, and wrapped my arm around her. My breasts pressed against her back, and the head of the dildo pressed into her behind. She moaned softly, pushing back against me, and moved her hand to rest on my hip.

"Good." I said, kissing her shoulder. "Because I really want to fuck you hard tonight."

She groaned, pushing back against me. "You get me so wet when you talk like that."

I moved my hand down, cupping her sex, feeling her wetness smear against my fingers.

"Are you sure our little video and your 'alone time' aren't what made you so wet?"

I nodded and kissed the side of her neck. "I do." I kissed just below her ear. "Like when I tell you I want to be inside your tight cunt, pounding into you?"

She let out a shuddered breath and nodded, her hand on my hip squeezing, causing her nails to dig into me.

"I always miss you, Buffy." She told me honestly. "Every minute I'm not with you."

I cupped her breast, letting my thumb roam around and occasionally over the dusky peak atop it, making it hard. Trailing soft, wet kisses along her shoulder and neck, I pushed my hips against her, knowing the firm head of our friend was pressing into her soft flesh.

Willow shifted against me, turning so that she was suddenly facing me. Her mouth caught mine, immediately pressing her tongue into my welcoming mouth. She clung to me, throwing her leg over mine so that the dildo fell against her sex. She plundered my mouth with her tongue, and I returned the favor eagerly, wrapping one arm around her waist and cupping her cheek with my other hand. Her red hair fell down around us as she moved on top of me, pushing me onto my back.

"Goddess, Buffy," She gasped, breaking from our kiss momentarily. "I love you so much!"

I wrapped both of my arms around her, pulling her body on top of mine, bringing us as close as I could.

"I love you, Willow." I captured her lips again, kissing her softer this time, just barely letting my tongue graze against hers before pulling back. "More than anything in this entire world."

I rolled us over then, so that I was on top of her, looking down into impassioned green eyes. For a moment we just looked at each other, smiling, knowing we loved each other more than anyone else had, or ever would love us our entire lives.

I pushed up, resting my weight on my hands so I could look down at Willow, look down at the beautiful body under me that moved and swelled with need. Willow reached down, sliding the back of her fingers along my damp stomach, until she came to the firm silicone jutting out from my sex. She gripped it, tugging on it gently, a grin playing over her lips.

"Isn't there something you want to do with this?" she asked with a whisper, stroking it.

I met her grin and silently watched as she moved her hand up and down the purple shaft.

The sight of her doing that made my sex jump, but I didn't waste too much time watching her play with our toy before I leaned back down and took one of her stiff nipples between my lips. She gasped at the contact, moving against me as I first sucked the firm flesh between my teeth; then lavished it with my tongue.

I pushed my thighs against hers, forcing her legs apart, and ran my hands up her sides. In turn, Willow trailed the fingernails of one hand along my thigh and back, while her other hand cupped the back of my head, her fingers entwined in my damp hair. She held me to her, her hips moving against me slightly. No doubt her sex was making contact with the head of the dildo; her hum of approval grew to quiet moans as I switched breasts and pressed my hips against her center.

Without responding, I slid my hand between our bodies, bumping Mr. Strap-On out of the way, and searched her swollen sex.

She was soaked, slick with her wanton need. It coated my fingers and palm as I moved over her, slid over her clit, and briefly pushed into her velvety channel

"Need something, Will?" My voice was heavy with my arousal and I thought the question stupid as soon as it left my mouth.

I watched as her arm stretched out toward our bedside table, and dug around in the drawer until she pulled out a strip of condoms. She handed me one after ripping it from the strip, and I took it with a grin. Eager or not, Willow was definitely Hygiene-Girl.

I rose up on my knees, and swiftly, had the condom out of the wrapper, which I dropped on the side of the bed. Moments later I was unrolling the latex down the shaft of the purple dildo. Too many times I had done that for Riley and I hoped I would never again be in the company of anyone else – unless of course Willow was right there with me.

"You ready, baby?" I asked her, leaning down so that I supported my weight on one hand, and used the other to poise the dildo at her entrance.

Slowly, I guided the silicone head into her. Willow's mouth fell open and she let out a ragged breath.

Without waiting any further, I pushed deeply into her, filling her with the firm silicone attached to me. She gasped and moaned and immediately started moving against me. I didn't waste any time; I fell forward, supporting myself with both my hands, and started thrusting into her.

I tried to go slow at first, but Willow was having none of it. She wrapped her legs around me, braced her hands against my ass, and let loose a fiery passion that I knew all too well. Our thighs smacked against each other as I picked up the pace and really started giving it to her. She kissed me furiously, her lips and tongue attacking my mouth, my neck, my shoulder; anywhere she could kiss or lick or bite as I thrust into her fast and hard.

Her hands pressed into my back, her fingernails scraped and scratched my damp skin. Her hips met my thrusts, demanding more. I pounded into her, gritting my teeth as the leather strap between my legs nudged my swollen, slick clit again and again.

"You're… incredible." I told her, lunging into her, pounding her into the mattress.

I moved a hand between us, and swiped my thumb against her engorged button as I continued to fuck her with hard and fast jabs.

Her eyes shot open and she screamed, clinging to my shoulders. I could feel her shaking, feel her getting so very close to the edge. I circled her clit swiftly with my thumb and slammed into her again and again. I could feel my own release getting close, the pressure in my belly growing.

She arched and bucked, screamed and squirmed under me as her arms shot out and gripped the bedding, her knuckles turning white under the tension.

As her orgasm waned, I moved my hand away from her before she complained that it was too sensitive. I slowed my pace and moved to just kiss her, placing my lips against the corner of her mouth, her cheeks, her chin.

"Keep going." She nodded, trying to catch her breath. "I know… you're close… aren't you?"

I nodded, catching her eyes. "Yes. Oh… fuck yes." A few more quick thrusts and I'd tumble over with her.

We kept eye contact as I set a faster rhythm and began pounding into her once again. She reached up to hold me and I grabbed her arms, holding them down to the bed on either side of us, my hands gripping her wrists. She struggled only slightly, her eyes never leaving mine. At that very moment I owned her. Her body, her will belonged to me – and I knew she gave herself to me willingly.

I rode her hard and fast, aiming for my own release, realizing for the first time since first slipping into her, how badly I needed to come. Willow's legs tightened against me, her hips jerking up into my thrusts. She cried out with every thrust, our momentum making the entire bed shift up, the headboard tapping the wall in a faint, but fast, steady rhythm.

I could feel my wetness practically splashing against my thighs. The leather strap slid over my clit again and again, pushing me further.

I finally broke our eye contact as I neared my release, arching up and thrusting deeply into her over and over again. The sweat dripped from my forehead, and I could feel my muscles rippling as the tension in my body was stretched taught before springing and colliding, releasing everything inside me. I hammered into her even as I orgasmed, and I was rewarded with Willow's screams of release, matching my own.

Buffy's face was red with her effort; sweat beaded and dripped off her brow as she continued to thrust into me fast and hard. My insides seemed to swell and melt all at the same time, and my first orgasm was quickly fading as I felt the pressure of a second build and expand within me. She was close and she pounded into me furiously, focusing on her pleasure, even as she continued to give to me as well.

She's beautiful when she's like that. Above me, sweating and grunting. Cursing and moaning. Slamming into me, fucking me so good and pushing us both over the edge of pleasure. When she's holding my arms down, getting lost in the sensation of our love making, I think I'm finally able to glimpse another side of the slayer. And I really love when she expresses that side of her, her dominance – her strength and need and power. When she's like that, it's like nothing else in the world exist but us and our pleasure. She's absolutely amazing.

She squeezed her eyes shut and arched into me, again and again, slamming into me as she reached her release. Her forceful thrusts were almost painful, but the hard knocking within my body combined with the thrill of seeing her climax on top of me sent me quickly over the edge. I screamed and curled my hands into fists, my nails digging into my palms as Buffy's hands held tightly to my wrists.

She thrust into me only a few more times before collapsing on top of me. My sex whimpered and clutched at the firm silicone still inside me. The sensation was nice; it didn't kill my arousal or make me feel uncomfortable, especially with Buffy's moist body lying on top of me, almost shivering.

"Oh…!" I gasped, her sudden movement making the dildo inside me shift and pull out slightly.

She quickly released my hands, looking around embarrassed, and gently slid out of me. She stayed on her knees, looking down between us.

She let the corners of her mouth curve into a soft smile before leaning down, placing her elbows on either side of me.

"I love you too." I smiled and leaned down, just barely brushing my lips over hers.

For a few minutes we enjoyed the close contact and the soft kissing, especially after our hurried and hard love making. I knew the night was long from over, but those first few moments after our initial need was satiated could be slow and soft – at least until one of us came up with an idea we wanted to execute!

"One to your…?" She stopped, a grin breaking out on her face. "Oh. I see. And what exactly do you suggest?"

She nuzzled my neck, and kissed my earlobe softly before whispering, "My Willow gonna gimme me what I want?"

"Mmm… anything you want… need." I ran my hands up into her hair, and began kissing along her jaw line, nipping playfully.

Buffy ran her tongue along my neck, circling over my pulse point before catching the flesh between her teeth. I let out a soft moan as she suckled my flesh, no doubt leaving her mark on me. Enjoying her attention, I slid my hands down her back to her waist, trailing my fingernails along her skin and smiling at the way she shivered and flinched occasionally. I released the buckle that held the harness in place, pushing it down gently. A moment later, Buffy was pushing up off me, eager to discard the leather and silicone combination at my insistence.

I nodded before bringing my lips to hers. I took her bottom lip in my mouth, massaging and enjoying the way she did the same to my top lip. I felt her tongue gently graze my lip and I slid my own tongue out to touch the tip of hers. We opened our mouths, and allowed our tongues to glide over one another. Slowly we moved against each other, our hands stroking moist, flushed skin. Our thighs shifting to fall against wet centers. Our heart rates quickened once more and we deepened the kiss, my tongue slipping into her mouth, relishing the taste of her, the texture of her tongue on mine, and the flutter in my tummy as Buffy began to suck on my tongue.

She acquiesced and soon I was laying on top of her, my thigh firmly pressed against her sex, her wetness spilling onto my leg. We continued to kiss deeply, our tongues sliding over and around each other. I found one swollen breast and slowly swabbed the stiff peak with my thumb, brushing over and around it firmly. She moaned into my mouth, pushing her thigh up against my hot, wet center, while at the same time her hands caressed and massaged my hips and bottom.

"God, Willow…" Buffy gasped, pulling away from my lips. "You're incredible… you know that?"

I shook my head, quickly, capturing her lips again briefly before responding. "No… no way. You are."

I shifted and began kissing along her jaw line before dipping lower to lick and suckle at her neck. She let out a moan and squeezed me against her tighter. In turn, I pressed my thigh against her weeping pussy, and smiled against her neck as she shuddered and clung to me.

"A-as long as… " I swiped my tongue over her pulse point. "You're included in…" I kissed the wet spot, softly. "That summation."

"Uh… oh… okay." She nodded and moved her leg further up, effectively giving me a bounce.

I kissed down along her collarbone before working my way back up her throat, leaving soft, wet kisses in my wake as she bounced me on her leg, each contact with my sex sending a shockwave of pleasure through me.

"Willow…" She ran one hand down over my butt, slipping her fingers between my cheeks and pressing upwards.

"Ohh… yeah…" she kissed my cheek, pushing against me to turn so she could have access to my mouth.

I gave in gladly, letting her slip her tongue inside my mouth. Our kiss was deep and heated, our passion quickly rising again. I pressed my fingers up, the pool of her desire flooding out and coating them easily. We groaned in unison, both of us swallowing the sounds we made as her thigh and fingers rocked against me, and my hand pressed more firmly against her. I used my leg as support and began a rhythm; a rhythm that sent my fingers slipping through her wet folds again and again.

"Oh God, Willow…" Buffy broke from our kiss again, her head falling back. "That feels… so damn good."

I could feel the swell in my own sex, the steady ache that came slow and built over time. I wasn't concentrating on me, though. I wanted to make Buffy feel good. I needed her to come for me again.

Letting my entire weight rest on her, I reached behind me and grabbed her arm, pulling her away from me.

"Shhh…" I lowered my lips to hers again, brushing them gently over her lips. "Just want…" I flicked my tongue over her bottom lip. "To hold you."

Entwining my fingers with hers, I brought our joined hands up so we could both look at them before I kissed her knuckles. She smiled as everything stilled again and I lowered our hands beside us.

I picked up the rhythm again with my leg, pushing my fingers deeper into her drenched core, pressing up.

Just about every inch of our bodies were touching, moving in one rhythm, swelling with heat and passion and devotion to each other. Buffy's moans were growing deeper, longer. She pushed back against my hand and thigh quicker, forcing me to pick up the pace. Her fingers clasped mine tighter, and her hand at my side squeezed, clinging.

"Oh, Will… Will… oh baby…" Her moaning became louder, and she wrapped her free arm around me, holding me to her as if I had anywhere I'd rather be than pressed so firmly against her.

"Come around my fingers, baby." I whispered just before taking her earlobe between my teeth and nibbling on the tender flesh.

She came hard and sudden, hot fluid flooding out of her to cover my hand and thigh. I groaned at the contact and slowed, but didn't stop, trying to draw out her orgasm as best I could. She shook and shuddered, her chest rising and causing me to rise and fall with it.

She was gulping air, her body twitching like her muscles as I slowly pulled out of her.

I kissed her cheek, her chin, the corner of her mouth; I held her close and let her feel all the love I had for her.

Her arms wrapped around me and she held me close, kissing my shoulder and neck softly.

"You still need…?" She didn't finish the sentence but I knew what she was talking about.

"Are you sure?" she asked. "I definitely don't mind." She grinned and wiggled her eyebrows, causing me to chuckle.

"Hmm…" She rolled us onto our sides. "Do these plans involve us doing more of that?"

"Hey!" She sat up and through her arms around me loosely. "Don't I get to know what your plans are?" I leaned against her, cupping one of her breasts and lightly brushing my thumb over her nipple, eliciting a ragged breath and shudder.

With our lips only an inch or so apart, I said, "Lay down, close your eyes…wait for me… and I'll show you."

She did as I instructed, and with a big smile on my face, I bounced off the bed and grabbed the strap-on from off the floor. I went into the bathroom, and after discarding the used condom I gave the harness and dildo a quick wipe down before adjusting it to fit around my hips. Peeking out from behind the door to make sure Buffy was still lying on the bed with her eyes closed; I paused and smiled at her. She looked so beautiful stretched out on our bed, her pink skin slightly glistening, and her still damp hair all tussled about. I let my eyes wander over her slight form; the swell of her backside, her thighs, arms, shoulders, and hands – knowing that even though it wasn't really visible to the naked eye, that body held an immense amount of power.

Although I would still love Buffy with all my heart if she weren't a slayer, the power and strength she holds causes my heart to flutter about restlessly, like a teenage girl surveying the power of a football star. I know that sounds silly, but it really is as exciting as that. I hate the danger she's in. We've faced so many scary things, and we've lost her twice… but I'm still in awe of her. I've seen what her slayer abilities allow her to do out there fighting evil, as well as in our bedroom – and whenever I get the chance to try and conquer that part of her, it is nothing short of amazing.

I padded over to our dresser, and from the top drawer took out a simple black blindfold – something left over from my relationship with Tara.

I could tell she was antsy, though, waiting for me to do something. Her breathing was only slightly erratic, and her body was stretched out, but her limbs were somewhat tensed, like a gun - cocked and ready. The slayer was still very much in control – and the slayer doesn't really like to give up any of that control. In fact, she was probably trying to figure out what my plans were for her. Anticipation is so much fun!

At my laptop, I switched the video back on, and clicked on the nifty 'looping' option for it to play continuously. I couldn't wait to watch us again.

Buffy was starting to whine so I knew I had to get back to her soon. At least she was being a good slayer and keeping her eyes closed like I'd asked.

"I'm right here, baby." I said quietly, just as I ran my fingertips up the back of her calf.

"Mmm… missed you too." I told her, tracing my fingers up the back of her thigh and up over her bottom.

"Turn around…" I instructed, "So that your head is facing the foot of the bed."

Without opening her eyes or saying a word, Buffy drew herself up onto her knees, and crawling, turned around on the bed so that she was in the center of it, her feet where her head had been moments before. She cocked her head and smiled, waiting for further instructions.

I picked up the blindfold and touched her cheek, making sure she knew I was placing something around her head. She let me put the blindfold on her without question and smiled when she realized what it was.

"Can you see anything?" I asked, pulling down the front to make sure it covered her eyes fully.

I always wanted to make sure she was comfortable. Something that was okay one night might not be the next.

"It's fine." She nodded. "I-If anything evil comes in here I can still kick their ass with a blindfold on." She told me with a grin.

"You're amazing." I whispered, bringing my lips close to hers again, but not kissing her.

I pressed my lips to hers, taking her bottom lip into my mouth, sucking gently but briefly.

"Incredible, amazing… beautiful, sweet… " She tilted her head and smiled. "You're all of those things."

Her tongue slipped out to graze against my lips and I opened them, letting our tongues meet. I didn't let the kiss last long though; I had other things I wanted to do.

"Now," I started, walking around the bed and picking up the strip of condoms from the bedside table. "You're blindfolded… so you can't see that I've got the video of us playing on the TV again."

"Uh huh." I crawled onto the bed behind her, positioning myself between her legs, and as quietly as I could, ripped a new condom from the strip. "A-and I'm gonna watch… while I fuck you."

"You can watch all you want…" I told her with a grin. "Later. But not right now."

I urged her legs further apart with my own as I inched further up the bed, closer to her body. I glanced at the video and watched for a moment as our counterparts began to move against each other on the bed, frantic, passionate movements. A wave of desire passed over me, and I looked down to Buffy's small but powerful body below me. I was going to take her hard and rough, something I knew she really did crave and love.

I rolled the condom down the shaft of the firm dildo and tossed the package onto the floor with the remaining condoms. Placing my hands on either side of her hips, I urged her to push back so that she rested most of her weight on her upper body. Her hips were perfectly level with mine, and her thighs were pushed as far apart as she could manage, still close to the bed.

I moved up close to her, pressing my middle between her legs, the dildo slipping along her folds. She groaned and hung her head, her hips jerking slightly at the contact. Resting my weight on top of her, I brought my hands around and cupped her breasts, catching her nipples between my fingers. In an instant they hardened, and Buffy began to moan softly as I ran my fingers over them before pinching and twisting gently.

"Willow!" Her body twisted in pain and pleasure and suddenly her breathing was more pronounced.

I kissed her shoulder, dragging my lips down across her shoulder blade toward the center of her back. I licked softly, and kissed the wet spots I left behind. I continued to twist her nipples, sometimes only slightly, while other times I did it so harshly it evoked a cry from my slayer. I love her reactions to me, and I love even more the fact that she likes what I want to do to her.

"You know what I can see on that video Buffy?" I didn't wait for her to answer. "Your fist inside me. My cunt just… impaled on your entire hand."

"Twisting and stretching me." I continued, my voice low, but my arousal apparent. "Pushing into me… deeper… harder."

I left a trail of butterfly kisses across Buffy's back, and up her sides. She was breathing heavily, and I could feel her hips beginning to move back against me.

Taking one hand from her breast, I slipped my fingers along her abdomen and cupped her sex. My fingers sunk into the hot pool of liquid that met me and I couldn't help but move my fingers down to her opening, gathering up more of her sticky fluid before swiping my fingers across her hard clit a few times.

I slipped my fingers through her wet folds, letting my fingertips brush against her opening before retreating. With my other hand, I continued to pinch and tug and twist her nipple.

Buffy dropped her head to the mattress, and moved her hips down; circled, pushed back – anything to create more friction with my fingers.

I tried to keep my voice normal and light, but my own desire and urge to plunge into Buffy's waiting sex forced an edge into it.

A huge grin broke out on my face. I love when she asks me like that. Part of me wanted to draw the begging out, make her really grovel for it. Buffy is so sexy when she's begging – it makes my insides just melt with need. I feel powerful and completely in control – but I don't need that all of the time. So when she cried out for me to just 'fuck her already', I had no choice but to comply.

With my fingers, I pulled her sex taught, exposing her hole, and slipped the head of the dildo in. She moaned and pushed back against me. I pressed the dildo down a bit, so that when she pushed back on it, her cunt swallowed it smoothly.

With the blindfold on, my vision was cut off, but not my senses. They were on overdrive. I could smell us. Hear and feel Willow's increased pulse. I could even feel the strain in her body as she held back from just taking me. She likes to play. She likes to have her way with me and that's just fine with me! I have to be in control all the time. I have to know what's going on and how to fix everything. I have to be the slayer and that force within me doesn't let me submit to failure. But I can let some of that control go with Willow. Oh, I definitely like to be the dominant one, but when she's in the mood for it, there's nothing that can stop this slayer from doing whatever Willow wants.

I couldn't help it. I needed her; needed to be filled and fucked hard. Nothing beats deep, hard penetration after a good patrol – and my Willow knows all about giving it good and hard.

She was inside me. Willow. Not the dildo. Not some piece of silicone. It was Willow and her passion and love and need. It was her that my muscles were grasping, her that slid into me deep and sharp, her that I pushed back on, clenching, clinging too.

She grunted with her thrusts, scratching her fingers along my back, squeezing my ass. Deep and hard she plunged, each thrust sending my entire body forward with the momentum, but each time I pushed back to meet her again.

"Oh yeah… oh fuck yeah…" I was panting, gripping the edge of the bed with a fierce grip.

"Goddess, Buffy!" She cried, her voice hoarse, "You're so… beautiful. Ahh… the way you… move…"

She grasped my hips; her short nails dug into my skin, and she really began pounding into me. Willow doesn't need slayer strength or stamina - I personally think she's just naturally gifted.

"We were so –" She plunged into me. "Frenzied that night." Another deep thrust. "So primal." And another. "And I can see us right now."

When Willow fucks me, she does it with everything she is. She pours her entire being into making me feel good. It doesn't matter if she's using the strap- on, her tongue, or her fist. When we're together, it's like we just know we were meant to be. She can be fucking me hard and fast, or simply slipping her fingers over me with soft and languid movements; no matter what she's doing, I feel totally and completely connected to her. I can feel the love she has for me, and I know she can feel the same from me. And with no one else has it ever felt this perfect.

She let most of her weight rest on me, and slipped her hand back down between my legs. With her hips working like a jackhammer, her fingers roughly rolled my clit. The sensation sent every muscle twitching as my steadily building orgasm suddenly exploded.

Wave after powerful wave crashed through me, shooting out from my center to connect with every other nerve in my body. My legs shook. My cunt coiled and gasped and wept. My heart hammered in my chest. But I needed more.

"Don't stop! Oh God Willow please don't stop!" I shouted, arching my back and dipping my hips low.

There was no Buffy anymore. I was all feeling. All flesh and nerves, and Willow was plugged into me like an electrical source, supplying me with all the power and strength and pleasure I needed.

I rested most of my weight on my elbows, my head up, and my mouth hanging open as I moaned and cried loudly, without restraint. Everything just felt so fucking good, and Willow didn't stop; she kept pounding into me, kept swiping her fingers back and forth and I knew it wouldn't take long before I came again. Came hard and would probably wake up Dawn with my wails.

And she didn't, she grunted and cried and clung to me harder, but she didn't stop her thrusts. The tremors of my orgasm were nowhere near fading before I felt my second one coming on strong.

"Oh fuck, Buffy!" Willow cried, stalling out for a moment. "I'm gonna… oh Goddess…"

"That's it, baby, come on!" I cried out, knowing how close I was to release as well.

Willow slammed into me harder and faster than before, her own orgasm rocking through her, pushing her to buck against me again and again. Her free hand dug into my side, her nails practically tearing at my skin.

That was all I needed. I came with a ferocity that shook the entire bed; that drew my voice out until my vocal chords were sore. A Crayola pattern of color splashed across my hidden vision as my toes tensed and curled. Willow, my power supply, was trembling against me, slowing her pace, and I was shaking and gasping and trying not to pass out.

She pulled out of me and I heard the harness hit the floor just seconds later. Turning to sit, I felt her hands on my head, pulling the blindfold off. I blinked at the light at first until I zeroed in on Willow's flushed and ragged state. Her hands caressed my cheeks, her fingers lingering over my lips. I kissed each one of her fingertips as we kept eye contact.

Together, we lay down on the bed, holding each other, and staring into each other's eyes.

"I love you." I told her. "Love you more than I've ever loved anyone in my entire life."

We kissed softly, our lips gently massaging, lifting to leave, before slowly settling in longer. I could taste her sweat, and still hear the thudding of her heartbeat.

"What haven't we been through together?" She asked. "A-All that Hellmouthy stuff… a-and we're still best friends, right?"

"So… why not now?" She brushed her lips over mine. "I-I've never wanted anything so much. Never been… so sure of anything. A-And I've never, in all my life, felt this way, Buffy."

I gently slid my tongue along the bottom of her upper lip, moaning softly when she parted her lips, and the tip of her tongue flicked against mine. I held her to me tightly, our chests and hips flush, unwilling to have any room between us.

Willow eased her mouth away from mine, a smile dancing in her eyes and curling her mouth.

"Buffy… y'know… I'm not unaware of the dangers that face you… face all of us out there."

I nodded, knowing that if there was anyone who knew how dangerous it really was out there, it was Willow. She's been in danger, been in a coma; she fights beside me, does the research - she knows that at any time I could die… again. And she knows that that threat isn't limited to me just because I'm the slayer and usually the one who's right in the middle of the battle. Willow, Xander, Giles… they've all been in terrible danger at one time or another, and I could very well lose one of them tomorrow.

"I-I know that I could lose you any day." She continued. "A-and I know that the same goes for me…"

"I just… just want you to know that every day we're together… a-and every day since we met… that… I've loved you with nothing less than my whole heart. With… with everything I have in me." She pressed her lips against the corner of my mouth and I felt a familiar lump in my throat form. "And… every day that we're together… I want to make sure you know h-how much… how much I love you. How very much… you mean to me."

"Oh, Willow…" I met her lips with a short, soft kiss. "You know that I feel the same way, don't you?"

She smiled and nodded before bringing her lips to mine again. "I do." She whispered, her lips brushing over mine. "No matter how long we're together in this life… I want every day with you to seem like… well, maybe not like the last… but… "

I brought the blanket up over us and we snuggled close, holding each other, and looking into each other's eyes until I was too sleepy to keep them open. I was faintly aware that our video played on in the background, but I couldn't be bothered turning it off, I was way too tired to even move. All I wanted was to fall asleep in the arms of the woman I loved more than my own life.

"I want to get in touch with her friends… a-and… maybe, we could… make another movie."

"You are so naughty." I told her with a grin, the idea instantly appealing to me.

I rolled my eyes and leaned forward, brushing my lips across her cheek before whispering in her ear, my voice deep. "Oh, baby… I've seen just how naughty you can be…"

I dragged my thumb across her bottom lip. The move made Willow's eyes flutter closed briefly, and her lips curl into a soft smile.

With that I met her lips again, pulling her body tightly against mine, my fingers pressing into the small of her back. She parted her lips at the urging, and soon our tongues were tumbling in her mouth. After a few moments of kissing, we slid apart. She inched down in the bed, pulling the covers up to her neck, and rested her head on my shoulder.

"Maybe." She said, shrugging. "But who's it hurting? A-and if we do things together… that make us happy… be it something kinky… or just… y'know… whatever… that's not so bad… right?"

She leaned up and kissed me on the cheek before snuggling down again, a content sigh leaving her lips. I smiled down at my Willow, knowing that was exactly where I was supposed to be. I picked up her hand with mine, letting our fingers entwine.

In a moment of perfect clarity, I saw our hands together, aged by time and battle. I saw the very real reality of a life for us. Willow and I, always together. So much had changed since my friends… since my *family*… had brought me back. Those first few months were horrible with the harsh, cold reality of where I had been… the darkness… the pain… and lying there with my Willow, I realized how much had changed. I realized that Willow really did bring me back to life. She filled the emptiness with her love. Replaced the darkness with a bright, steadfast light. She gave me hope and strength to live another day, to see the many possibilities of a life beyond slaying and the Hellmouth - for not only Willow and I, but for all of us. I saw aged versions of Willow and I making love still after years of being together. Holding onto each other, kissing and whispering into each other's ears. I saw a love that never dies. Never grows faint or stagnant.

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A Firm Foundation

by Red Willow

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Copyright © 2004