Witness by The Rainbow Writers

Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Willow, Tara, Xander, Anya, Giles, Dawn, Spike and all other characters who have appeared in the syndicated series Buffy The Vampire Slayer, together with the names, titles and back story are the sole copyright property of Joss Whedon, Fox and Mutant Enemy. No copyright infringement was intended in the writing of this fan fiction. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the authors. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Please contact the authors for permission to reproduce this story on any other fan fiction site.
Distribution: The Rainbow Writer's Homepage: http://www.therainbowwriters.com/
Mystic Muse: http://mysticmuse.net
Spoilers: Season 6.
Feedback: All feedback is welcome.
Pairing: Willow/Other

Summary: Willow struggles with her rehabilitation in England.

'It is funny.' Giles contemplated to himself as he shrugged off his rain heavy coat and handed it to Mrs. Lauder. The attentive housekeeper took it and hung it to dry over the hall radiator. 'How this old manor house manages to smell like a hospital, even though very little actual medical procedures taking place here.' He guessed it was just the fact that it was a rehabilitation facility that brought with it some kind of undertone that pressed itself upon the very fabric of the old house.

Giles shook himself out of his thoughts and crossed the corridor and opened the door to the visitors' room. Like all the others on the lower floor, it was tastefully decorated with a mixture of period and modern touches. Most noticeably old were the four large writing desks that occupied the four corners of the strangely square room and the four chairs that sat with them, with just their original circle of warn leather for padding. The large ornate wooden fireplace was the other thing that stood out particularly. It was obviously an original feature, but was also a working fireplace as fresh logs in the log basket with kindling and tapers backed up this theory.

But then there was the more modern furnishing. The large padded leather chairs dotted here and there in the main area of the room, a small oblong coffee table with a bowl of boiled candy in the center of it stood more or less in the middle of the room. The parquet flooring had numerous modern rugs scattered over it and there was even a leather beanbag scrunched up under one of the desk.

As usual Giles took in the whole scene impressed as always by the sense of peace and serenity that pervaded the very air. Slowly he paced around the neat and tidy room, running his finger lightly along the edge of one of the wide desks. He stopped and leaned his weight on the corner of the highly polished wood and picked up a stone cat shaped paperweight.

"Mrs. Lauder keeps the place really clean I promise." Willow whispered from the doorway as she watched him for a few minutes before she spoke.

"Willow." His face broke into a warm smile as he pushed up from his place and walked forward his arms open.

"Hi." Willow walked slowly closer and hugged him. Giles pulled back after a long moment and glanced at the window, rain teamed down onto the glass. "How was the drive?"

"I guess a walk is out of the question today." Willow moved back and went to sit in one of the over sized leather chairs.

"I don't mind the rain, I just don't like to be wet." He corrected her softly. "I don't mind getting wet for you though if you want to walk."

"You're usually itching to get out of the place, hence the packed umbrella." The Watcher stressed that he had thought about it and catered to the situation. He slowly eased one of the old chairs out from behind a desk and sat in that preferring to forgo the comfort of the soft armchairs.

"Mmmm I know but I've been out walking a lot lately so it's okay." Willow admitted softly.

"Have you?" Giles turned looking interested. "Decided to take up some of the extra activities?" He assumed that was the reason.

"No, walking with a friend." Willow smiled at his attempt to fish for information.

"Friend?" Giles smirked as he watched Willow's smile, he knew he had been found out.

"Her name is Ruth, she's here recovering too." Willow gave the shreds of information. "We talk and walk a lot."

"Well that's champion." Giles used the extremely English phrase as he sat more upright in his chair and gave Willow a truly happy smile. Being in Britain so long had brought the Watcher's accent very much to the forefront of his vocabulary.

"Have you talked with anyone?" Willow questioned softly as she drew her finger into the upholstery on the chair.

"Anyone?" Giles shook his head. "Well I ordered tea from the very pleasant Mrs. Lauder." He divulged thoughtfully.

"She makes great tea and she serves it with scones, they smell nice, I'm still not eating much." Willow noted how his voice had become so ... 'British.' She realized that was what she was thinking of.

"Some is better than none Willow." Giles rallied. "Look for the positives." He leaned back in the chair and pulled off his glasses, tucking them into the top pocket of his tweed blazer.

"Have you talked to anyone at home?" She finally breached the hard question again.

"I spoke to Buffy and Dawn just last night." Giles replied leaning a little forward on the chair. He was surprised that the question had come so early, usually it got a mention when he was leaving and it was usually him who brought up any mention of those still in Sunnydale.

"Well, very well. Dawn has started at the new High school. They send their love and miss you terribly." Giles replied watching her mood carefully.

"I am telling you the truth. Dawn missed you very much, as does Buffy." Giles met her tone.

"I was thinking about writing them a letter, to tell them how sorry I was." She didn't really internalize the words.

"What does your key worker think?" Giles couldn't remember the young man's names, all he could recall was that he seemed too young to have such a serious job and seemed far too inexperienced to be handling something as precious as Willow's future.

"Fred thinks it's a good idea, he keeps pushing me to call them." Willow admitted the fact.

"What do you think about that?" Giles turned the question around to Willow again.

"I don't know... I don't think I could handle it if they yelled at me." Willow's voice wavered a bit.

"They won't yell at you Willow." Giles hurriedly assured her shaking his head softly.

"But I... they... she didn't even come to the airport." Willow played with the button on her jacket.

"A fact I know that she regrets." Giles said softly he inched forward on the chair and reached out to touch Willow's arm.

"She might just tell you that cause she knows its what you want her to say." Willow looked up slowly to watch him move.

"Buffy was, and still wants to be your best friend Willow, she loves you." Seeing Willow's sad green eyes, Giles slipped off the chair and came to kneel in front of the redhead.

"She would appreciate it, I'm sure. In fact I know that Dawn…" He stopped as if suddenly realizing it wasn't his place to finish his sentence.

"Hates me." Willow frowned and pulled her legs up onto the chair. "It's okay Giles, part of getting better is accepting what you did to people."

"Actually no, it was more she had an idea about something, she wanted to talk to you about." Giles explained without really explaining.

"Then what would you she want to talk to me about?" Willow bit her lip as it was Giles' turn to look a little uncomfortable. "Giles what is it? You have weird face." She sat forward worried about the youngest Scooby.

"Oh!" Willow drew in a tight breath and leaned back into the suddenly uncomfortable leather as if trying to disappear.

"Okay." Willow nodded feeling her breaths coming a bit faster. "Should I call them now?" She questioned looking for guidance.

"You could as its Saturday, so they would both be in and out of bed I'd wager." The Watcher tried a smile. "And I'd be here for you." He underlined.

"Do I have to get permission to have an outside line?" He looked to the phone on the far desk questioning with the houses stanch rules if there was a protocol to follow.

"I... I don't know." Willow looked at the phone in the room. "There aren't any phones upstairs."

"Well why don't I slip out and see if I can find Fred, ask his advice." Giles offered helpfully and hung in place until he saw Willow nod her consent. Giles leaned forward and patted Willow's knee before slipping out.

"Mr. Giles, Mrs. Lauder sent me in with Earl Grey and scones." A familiar boot pushed the door open more before Ruth stepped through carrying a fully laden tea tray.

"Willow?" Ruth put the tray down on the nearest desk, doing a quick scan of the room for the visitor. "Where's Mr. Giles?"

"Now?" Ruth squeaked more than surprised at the admission. "You're calling now?" She tried to recover a little quickly crossing the room to stand near Willow's chair

"Hey, easy does it Lo." Ruth dropped to a crouch looking at Willow with concern. She reached out and closed her hand around the arm of Willow's chair.

"What could she want to talk about? What could be wrong?" Willow's hands went over Ruth's arm.

"Okay, okay, lets think okay, before getting all crazy." Ruth's tone completely changed, dropping to a low and gentle one as she tried to soothe the redhead.

"I can't..." Willow shook even more. "I just have horrible visions and I don't want to think about them."

"Okay, breathe." Ruth pushed herself to become Willow's focus. "You don't have to call them right now."

"If something was wrong or had happened to Tara's resting place you would know by now and it wouldn't be the kid telling you." Ruth met green eyes with a steady, confident gaze.

"There's a code I have to..." Giles' words stopped mid flow as he strolled back into the room. The newcomers blue eyes turned quickly towards him but Ruth didn't move from her protective place near the redhead.

"Giles, this is my friend... Ruth Mann." Willow introduced them her voice still shaky.

"A pleasure." Giles recovered quickly and continued his walk forward his hand extended.

"That's Mann with two 'n's." Ruth moved her free hand to shake the Watcher's. "Ruth with none." She added.

"You brought tea I see, Willow and I were about to make an important call so thank you..." Giles raised his eyebrows a little and nodded slowly towards the door making a subtle hint.

"Oh, right, I see." Giles nodded slowly and reached over to bring the telephone as close as the cord would allow.

"You need to dial 8010 to get an outside line, unless they changed the code again."

"I just got that information from Fred, though thank you." There was something slightly strange about the look that the Watcher gave the short dark haired witch.

The interaction between them was lost on Willow, she just sat there waiting with a huge amount of dread.

"Could you... could you talk to them first... make sure they want to talk to me." Willow whispered her body still shaking.

Ruth turned her attention fully to Willow as the Watcher made his preparations, Willow slid her hand into Ruth's without thinking as she watched him turn and have a short conversation with whoever had picked up.

"Buffy." Giles turned back holding the receiver lightly in his hand out towards Willow. The redhead's hand shook almost violently as she took the receiver and slowly brought it to her ear.

"Will? Will are you there? Willow!" The relief was more than apparent in the Slayer's voice at the other end of the phone as Willow whispered her greeting.

"Is she there is she there?" In the background Dawn's high-pitched voice could be heard calling.

"Willow." Buffy's voice literally flooded with joy as she repeated the redhead's name. "How are you?" In the background Buffy hissed at her sister. "Yes, Dawn she's here. Now let me talk to her."

"Good, I'm good." Buffy tried to calm her almost overpoweringly joyful tone. "How are you?" She asked again, not really realizing that she had asked the question before.

"I'm okay." Willow repeated not even realizing she'd answered it twice. "Giles is here." She added somewhat stupidly.

"Is he?" Buffy asked equally densely, after all she knew he was there she'd just spoken to him but she didn't seem to be controlling what came out of her mouth.

"Yeah, he was the one who thought you wanted me to call." Willow looked up at the Watcher who was sipping his tea attentively.

"I wanted to know how you are." Buffy calmed a little again drawing in deep obvious breaths.

"I'm... I can eat a bit now." She remembered the admission that had made Giles excited.

"Maybe, that would be nice... to get something... from..." Willow hesitated saying the 'home' word.

"What do you want Will? Name it, name anything, we can send it." Buffy jumped on the thought whole-heartedly.

"Oreo's. They don't have Oreo's here." Willow thought of the first thing she could.

"One case of Oreo's on its way or do you want lots of packets of all the different ones?" Buffy could be heard scrambling for a pen. "Pen, pen Dawn why is there never a pen on this desk?" She hissed at her sister.

"Whatever you like." Willow assured her not able to think of anything else. "Do you want me to send you anything?"

The clear answer of 'Willow.' came back from the teenager in the background. Buffy went quiet for a moment not sure what to say.

"She doesn't want me back." Willow whispered hearing the scream in the background that caused her body to shake more. Ruth pushed up on her knees and slid an arm around Willow's shoulder.

"She does, I do, we do. We miss you Will." Buffy whispered softly through the phone line.

"God Will, I never thought I'd hear you say that." Buffy breathed as tears obviously choked the Slayer's throat.

"I was going to write you... but... but I wasn't sure if you wanted to read." Willow felt her throat choke up too as she heard Buffy's emotion.

"Willow, I want to read, I want to talk, I want to see you." Buffy underlined as she gave into her tears and just talked through the crying.

"Me too... oh goddess Buffy I'm so sorry." Willow began crying as well. "It was just... Tara... and I couldn't... and I'm evil... and sorry... and oh you should hate me."

"Shush, shhhssshh." Buffy soothed down the phone. "I don't hate you, Willow how could I hate you. None of us hate you."

"Willow you okay?" Buffy questioned hearing the English girl's voice and immediately questioned the voice.

"Yes... t-t-that's Ru-th. She's my friend." Willow explained hearing the question and concern in her best friend's voice. "She helped me call." She admitted her own failing.

"Well yeah for Ruth then." Buffy gave a soft cheer. "God its good just to hear your voice." She admitted wanting to tell Willow as much as she could.

"It's good to hear you too." Willow added. "How is Xander and Anya?" She questioned trying to make small talk.

"Better." Buffy answered quickly. "And Dawnie's settling back into school." She tried to pre think the questions she was likely to be asked by her friend.

"Or my tongue pierced." Dawn called out putting her two cents into the conversation.

"Ruth votes for nose stud." Willow laughed a tiny bit as the black haired with threw in an opinion.

"Okay now I am rethinking the yeah Ruth line." Buffy laughed but then stopped short. "Willow, did you just laugh?" She whispered her voice full of awe.

"Wow I really wish I could hug you right now. Ruth, Ruth, hug Willow for me." Buffy called loudly into the line hoping the other witch would hear.

"Of course now!" Buffy underlined and Willow squeaked as the black haired caught her up in a big giant hug and rocked her back and forth.

Giles watched from his place on the chair, a happy smile fixed on his face. He glanced at his watch and frowned. Fred had suggested that the call be very short to break Willow in gently and without thinking he made a subtle cough under his breath.

"Oh wait Giles is making noises." Willow looked up at him. Giles looked over at Willow straight into smiling green eyes.

"It's… It's nothing, do carry on." He shook his head smiling as he moved to get more tea.

"Can I talk to Dawnie?" Willow waited until a good break in their conversation before she asked.

"Of course." Buffy agreed quickly after much excited squeaking the phone was handed over.

"Hi." Willow smiled at the enthusiast opening. Ruth eased back onto the floor just keeping her hand on the arm of Willow's chair. "How's the girl in high school?"

"I'm ok, I got my hair cut." Dawn's excitement literally oozed through the phone.

"Four whole inches off." Dawn replied reaching up to flick the topic of conversation over her shoulder.

"I can email them to Giles, you can have them tomorrow." Dawn enthused feeling so happy that Willow wanted pictures.

"Thank you Dawn." Willow whispered softly. "Giles said you had a question." She couldn't get the point out of her head and her body started to shake again as she thought about it.

"I'm using the bag you and Tara bought me...." Dawn's voice broke off as Willow made her statement. "Giles told you about that?" The teenager whispered.

"The plaid bag? It's good it's not too big and it has good shoulder straps." Willow tried to fill in the blank time but then she heard Dawn speak. "Yes." She whispered back.

"It's just...." Dawn tried to start. "I...." She made a second attempt. "That is I…" She tried a third but still didn't get anywhere.

"Dawn it's okay, you can tell me." Willow tried to keep her voice strong though her body was rocking in the chair and she subconsciously reached out for Ruth again. Ruth instantly pushed up and offered her arm, which Willow hugged onto.

There came the sound of the phone scuffling a little, obviously being passed over to Buffy again as the teenager burst into tears.

"I'm sorry I ruined it didn't I." Willow's voice went tight again. "It's just a... I ... I have... I have nightmares." She grew a bit breathy as she breathed in and out quickly.

"No." Buffy soothed. "She wants to plant a willow tree, a willow tree for Tara's birthday." She spoke softly and clearly knowing this needed to be clean and precisely done.

"A tree? A willow tree?" Willow's panic was side railed as Buffy broke through with the real reason.

"At the grave, she wrote and asked for permission." Buffy continued calmly. "She got the approval through yesterday."

"Can we get a plague to say that it is from Dawnie?" Willow whispered picturing how beautiful a tree would be.

"I kinda had one planned." Buffy admitted feeling and hearing her own voice crack a little. "She just wanted Tara to always have a Willow watching over her." Buffy wasn't sure how she got the sentence out and she was somewhat hampered by the fact that her younger sister broke down into hard sobs beside her as she said it.

"I-I-I think it's a beautiful idea." Willow's voice got a bit stronger. "Maybe I can come home soon to see it." Her words were broken up as she tried not to fall apart.

"I can't tell you what that would mean to us Willow." Buffy could be heard forcing herself to breathe in and out calmly. "We miss you so much."

"No, we know and you need to do this." Buffy collected herself together. "Just don't ever doubt that we're right there with you."

"I know, please write... tell me lots, all the little things... ya know. I miss the little things. I miss being useful. I miss being with you guys." Willow choked the words out.

"Dawn's already got her stationery set out, not to mention the digital camera." They both knew that wasn't true, as the teenager could still be heard sobbing softly but the sentiment wasn't deceitful.

"I think I have to go... can I call in a day or so?" Willow questioned as the sound of the teenager crying made her shake even more.

"Any time." Buffy assured her quickly. "Put me back on to Giles, it'll be easier than saying goodbye." She came up with the idea trying to make things as smooth as possible.

"Yes..." Willow clutched the phone. "You can call me too… if you wanted..." She threw in the sentiment before a moment of silence. "I love you."

"I love you." Buffy echoed instantly and hearing those words Willow literally pushed the phone away from her towards the Englishman.

Giles took it and moved with the phone towards the window his voice whispered as he closed the conversation. Ruth watched him move away very briefly before turning back to Willow.

"They don't hate me." Willow all but threw herself into Ruth's arms as the black haired witch came closer.

"She's going to send Oreo's." Willow sobbed hard as she curled into Ruth's body.

"Never tried them." the raven haired woman admitted, softly rubbing Willow's back over and over.

"Perfect idea." Ruth briefly pressed her lips to the side of Willow's head as she rocked her. Willow snuggled closer letting the conversation roll over in her head and find peace.

Willow's socked feet almost lost their grip on the long runner carpet in the hallway as she turned the corner and raced towards Ruth's room. When she reached the closed door her mind was spinning too fast to even think of knocking, so pushing on it she just ran straight in.

"Ru, I have to show you something." She clutched a large brown paper box to her chest.

"Doesn't anybody knock..." Ruth, who was sitting crossed legged on her bed turned to the door with a glare, the look melted instantly when she saw Willow. "Lo, what you got?" She smiled at the excited redhead.

"Sorry, bad me no knocking." Willow plodded over and crawled up on the bed beside the raven-haired girl.

"I got a package from Buffy and Dawn." Willow smiled at the granted permission. "And look Dawn put stickers on it." She showed Ruth the front side that was covered in little dancing bears and rainbows before she held one side and carefully slipped out the contents onto the comforter in a heap.

"It's lovely." Ruth traced one of the stickers. "So come on then what did they send?" She urged the redhead to explain the contents of her parcel.

"I haven't looked yet." Willow admitted with a soft smile. "I wanted to share it with you."

"Okay lets see." Willow picked up a thick smaller envelope and flipped it open. "Pictures." She noted rather unnecessarily as the first shot was off Buffy and Dawn waving at the camera. "That's Buffy and that's Dawn... wow she really did cut her hair." She pointed out each of them and then traced down the teenager's much shorter mane.

"Ha, the kids taller than her big sis. I bet that causes friction." Ruth nodded getting a firmer idea of who they both were.

"They're always squabbling." Willow nodded as she flipped to through a few more of one or the other of them posing. "There's Anya." She pointed to the demon that was sitting looking very done up for pictures on the couch at Buffy's.

"She's a demon, she likes fashion." Willow reminded her. "And Xander, wow in a suit." She looked at the picture of her usually goofy best friend next to what she had to guess was his new car.

"That's what made me question, you know most of the demons I've heard of tend to go you know naked." Ruth held the picture of Anya and then waited for Xander to be handed over.

"No, she likes to be pretty." Willow explained staring at Xander still in disbelief.

"Didn't you say Xander was like a slumming it kind of guy?" Ruth queried looking away from Anya to the photograph of the young man.

"He was... I guess... I guess his construction business is doing well." Willow shrugged feeling like the world was running away from her as she looked at him. This was the little boy who used to not be able to tie his shoes, how could he be in a suit and looking all grown up?

"Ah yeah but look." Ruth caught Willow's look and pointed to the picture. "There's a fast food carton on the dash board." She tapped the photograph. "He's still Mr. Take it easy."

"Whitecastle is his favorite, he can stick a whole burger in his mouth." Willow smiled a little as Ruth pointed out the carton, maybe things weren't changing all that much.

"There only tiny burgers." Willow laughed as she flipped the pictures. "This must be the new school, remember I told you we blew up the other one. It looks bigger."

"Still has that 'I'm really a prison in disguise kinda look'." Ruth grinned at the large building.

"You should have seen the last one." Willow turned to the next picture as her eyes came to rest on the next picture she felt her jaw lock and her hand shook a bit.

"What is it Lo?" Ruth questioned immediately, she had become quite attune to her new friend.

"The vampire?" Ruth had only heard Willow mention him once, and that was only in a very negative passing sense.

"Yes." She flipped it over and saw a brief scribble from Buffy that Dawn had drawn the picture that they had photographed for art class.

"She can." Willow nodded and quickly flipped to the next picture. "Wow Buffy's been gardening." She looked surprised at the shot of Buffy with a big floppy hat tending rows of flowers in the back garden.

"You didn't tell me you guys had like money." Ruth commented impressed by the landscaping.

"We don't." Willow shook her head. "Buffy has the house because of her mom dying. It was an aneurysm." Her voice was soft. "She was a really nice woman."

"No, of course not Ru." Willow shook her head. "See the curtains in the kitchen." She pointed to the small back window. "Tara made them."

"Wow." Ruth looked and made a small noise of surprise. "She was really special."

"She was." Willow whispered as she switched to the last picture. The entire gang was gathered on the front porch with a big homemade sign that read 'We love you and miss you Willow'. Silently she ran her finger over them one by one.

"They love and miss you Lo." Ruth reiterated. "You do realize I never want to hear you say other wise again."

"Busted eh?" Willow looked at the raven-haired girl as she tucked the pictures away.

"Let's see what else we got." Willow put her hand into the box. "Oreo's!" She grinned as she pulled out the square package of cookies.

"Well like I said before, I've not had the pleasure but I see the word cookie and an American cookie in English is biscuit and Ruth loves biscuits. I think it even says that on my file." Blue eyes twinkled in anticipation.

"You'll love these." Willow tore into the container and the area was instantly filled with a rich chocolate cream smell. "One for you one for me, there's a special trick." She put the box down.

"Now first you have to unscrew one bit of cookie from the creamy bit." Willow did just that to leave her with one cookie bit and one cookie cream bit. "We really need milk but we can have the full effect later." She laughed. "Go on unscrew your cookie."

"You're serious aren't you?" Ruth looked at the cookie in her hand and then up at Willow.

"Now you have to lick the cream." Willow giggled as she put the cream side up to her mouth and tasted it with a happy sigh.

"I put this in my mouth?" Ruth lifted the creamy half. "Can I chomp it?" She grinned.

"Not yet, you have to lick it first." Willow repeated the move tasting the cream. "So you get the creamy taste alone."

"Okay." Ruth drew her tongue over the white cream. "Creamy." She defined rather obviously.

"Do I put it back together?" Ruth checked before she put the cookie in her mouth.

"Your choice." Willow ate the cookie side slowly. "They're great to dunk in milk." Ruth bit into the cookie and then frowned as she chewed it. "What?" She frowned showing her worry with the expression.

"So they're soft cookies?" Ruth chewed on thoughtfully. "Well not soft, soft, but you know, softer than biscuits."

"I'm gonna have to try more to know the answer to that. Come on Lo, you have enough scientific knowledge to know this has to be a fair test." Ruth grinned as she leaned forward and stole a bite of Willow's no creamy half that she still held in her other hand.

"You'll need the have the milk vs. non milk trials." Willow found her smile again. "I wonder what else they sent."

"Find out girl." Ruth encouraged excited. "Seeesh Lo, come on, act like its Hanukah or something!"

"This is Buffy's writing." Willow pulled out a purple envelope and carefully tore it open. As she did a thin silver chain fell out into her hand, attached to it was a small crucifix. "She didn't." She held it almost as if she was afraid it was going to disappear.

"She wrote on the back of the envelope." Ruth caught the purple paper as it slipped off Willow's lap.

"You want me to read it?" Ruth checked before she actually looked at the handwriting and she saw a nod of confirmation. "I know this isn't very Jewish Will, but wear it if you can and remember there isn't a moment that I'm not thinking about you or don't love you. Your best friend forever, Buffy." Ruth read softly.

"Her mom gave this too her, I can't believe she sent it. She never takes it off." Willow felt her hands shake.

"She's the slayer, she can take it. You told me she tried to kill you a week or two before." Ruth said softly.

"Can you put it on me?" Willow whispered afraid if she let go of it that the necklace would disappear.

"Of course. Get all those red locks out of the way for me." She rallied as she eased the cross from Willow's hand.

Willow reached up and bundled up her hair so that Ruth could put the necklace on her. Carefully the brunette eased the simple chain around the redhead's pale throat checking so that the cross was lying centrally on her neck, she fasten the tiny catch.

"Thank you." Willow put her hand up over the cross for a few moments before she tried to compose herself and went back into the box. "This has your name on it."

"My name?" Ruth looked up sharply to see Willow holding up a small white envelope with a curious look.

"Oh okay." Ruth moved back to sit on the bed and took the envelope. Carefully she opened it and pulled out the contents. "It's a letter." She said unnecessarily, as it was quite obviously a sheet of floral stationary covered with blue ink handwriting.

"Do you want me to go while you read it?" Willow questioned confused by the whole idea and if she was honest still thrown as she fingered the cross at her throat.

"No, not unless you want to." Ruth replied her eyes flicking between the note and Willow before she looked back to the stationary.

"You just eat Oreo's and look at your pictures again while I flick through it." Ruth instructed softly as she read on not wanting Willow to work herself up.

"I know it's going to see really weird to get a letter from a bunch of people you've never met and who live on the other side of the world but please at least read this." A pause seemed evident in the flow of the writing. "When Willow mentioned you on the phone, mentioned how you were helping her I realized you were the only person over all these miles that I could reach out too.

I'm sure whatever the set up is over there its great and everything and I really hope the Council is doing all they can to help her but this is Willow... best friend of me. If I'm honest it's hard to be this far away knowing she's hurting this much and that I can't do anything more than send a few Oreo's that might well be stale by the time they get there."

The writing paused again and Ruth shifted in her place a little as she continued through the letter glancing quickly at the open Oreo packet.

"Especially... well... since when all this was happening I wasn't really the best friend of her or Tara. (Sidebar: I hope she's managed to tell you all the good things about Tara... she was a wonderful girl, giant heart and I know at the time with all the craziness Willow probably didn't get to see how truly devastated we were to loose her.)

Anyway, I want to help her now... I want to do anything I can but again giant landmass and an ocean in my way. So that's really the reason I'm writing and forgive me if I'm coming off selfish and totally demanding. All I can say in my defense is this is Willow... hopefully you've seen the wonderfulness that is Willow in amongst all the broken bits right now.

I'm not really sure what to ask... just... please keep an eye on her for me. If there is anything you think I should know or that I can help with... even if it's just to send more stale Oreo's please let me know. Will's never been the greatest at making friends and even when she does she never has seen the truth that she is a great friend in return. Hopefully when all of this is in a better place I can thank you in person for hopefully reading this and helping me out.

"Dawn sent me a beanie." Willow held up a cute creature with bright red eyes and a long tail. "What did the letter say?" She asked quietly as she watched Ruth tuck the envelope into her side table.

"It's rather weird looking." Ruth admitted as she appraised the animal. "Basically warning me of the perils of stale Oreo's and how too many of them make you go on a big sugar rush." She smiled as she eased Willow's worry.

"It's a lemur." Willow made him dance along the box lid. "Dawn has this huge soft spot for crazy looking fluffy things."

"Maybe but you call it Ruth and I'll know that you secretly hate me." The dark haired girl grinned.

"You know I don't secretly hate you." Willow paled a bit as she took her own words the wrong way. "Right?"

"Lo." Ruth looked over at Willow seriously. "I know." She stressed. The redhead nodded losing some of her worry. "So what are you gonna call the critter?" Ruth reached out and squished a bean filled leg.

"I could name it after Dawnie." Willow suggested the first thing that came into her mind.

"Do you want to keep the cookies in here cookie monster?" Willow teased falling back on the bed as she played with her beanie.

"I couldn't swear I won't eat them if you do." Ruth made a dive for the box. "Give me cookie!"

"That's okay." Willow looked up at her. "I don't mind if you eat them cookie monster." She laughed at the raven-haired girl's dive for the bag.

"You two are bright and cheerful this morning." Sue, one of the therapy leaders, voice called from the doorway suddenly.

"Though Ruth has already laid claim to the cookies." Willow sat up and smiled lightly at her cookie-munching friend.

"I don't like to be the one to say this girls but you two should be in the games room of the TV lounge if you are together." Sue reminded softly as Ruth looked up grinning at Willow around the Oreo that she had filling her mouth.

"Ok." Ruth finished off the Oreo noisily. "But I am not taking the cookies, no way, I'm a cookie monster so I'm not sharing." She wrinkled her nose at Willow and slid off the bed. "Come on Elmo." She called to Willow chuckling softly.

Willow packed up the other stuff back safely in the box but carried the Beanie with her.

Sunlight streamed through the large windows of the converted dining room that now was used for the group therapy sessions. A large oriental carpet was placed over the hard floorboards and a half dozen chairs and small tables were set up in a circular pattern. Each of the chairs was filled, with Fred sitting in a tall wooden chair with a clipboard on his lap.

"An interesting insight Donna, I think everyone here can agree that the 'mystical' obsessions in the world are most definitely a pre-cursor to an interest in the occult." Fred nodded to a petite brown haired girl with blonde highlights who was curled up in a worn green velvet chair to his right. "Would everyone else here agree that presentations of the occult in modern day media helped them find a connection to the occult directly?" He poised the question to everyone else but was cut off as a knock came to the door and Sue entered.

"Fred, sorry but there's an urgent call for you." She addressed him softly but raised her eyebrows to underline her words.

"Ladies, if you would excuse me for a few minutes. Perhaps think about what we've been discussing and then we can continue." He encouraged them as he stood up and moved to the door.

"Donna that is such shit, you didn't become a witch because you watched Lord of the Rings or something." A tall blonde haired girl who preferred to be called Morgana spit the words at the other witch. "And if you did that is so sad." She sneered as she picked at her dark painted nails.

"Donna didn't watch that movie she thought it was too scary." Another of the witch's chuckled from beside Morgana.

"I-I wasn't saying that, I was saying..." Donna blinked a bit trying to come back with something but the stare she got cut her off.

"Come off it sunshine, why are you here? Did mommy and daddy catch you making a love spell on the high school hottie?" Morgana laughed more. "You probably haven't done a real spell or should I say probably can't do a real spell."

"Want to join the conversation Ruthie?" Morgana turned to her with a smirk. "I had assumed with that glazed look you were too busy OD'ing on that little fantasy world of yours where you are popular and beautiful."

"Morgana your arguments are as dated as your name and not as funny." Ruth snarled shifting in her chair slightly.

"Listen up everyone, the high and mighty minion of the Dark One is talking to us." Morgana waved her arms as if signaling everyone to be quiet. "What is it minion?"

"You know if you had as much sense as you have mouth, you would almost be worth talking too." Ruth swung her legs off the side of the chair she was sprawled on.

"I guess she only lets her Mistress call her that." Morgana made the sly comment to the girl next to her. "What is the Dark One doing today anyway?"

"If you're talking about Willow, then I don't know. I could turn you into a fly and you could buzz off and find out." Slowly Ruth flexed the fingers of her right hand.

"And I could turn you into a dog and you could go hump her leg." Morgana put her fingers together and cracked her knuckles.

"You couldn't turn this chair into sawdust with the aid of a chainsaw." Ruth threw off her threat.

"Little Miss in here because she cast a spell on her baby brother and forgot how to undo it." Ruth stood up to meet her. "Oh try it, I've read you file Jennifer." The black haired witch seethed. "You're no more of a witch than Donna is. You just have a bigger mouth. I'm done with this." She stalked off towards the door.

Morgana stood there wanting to be able to do something but not really being able to as Ruth stalked out.

Ruth's confident anger driven stalk changed to more of a frantic run as she pushed through the back door and out into the garden, passing by Mrs. Lauder who was hanging laundry on the line.

"Ruthie?" Mrs. Lauder turned with a towel in her hands as the young witch went by.

"I can't." Ruth pushed her hand out to ward Rose away before she pushed herself out in a hard run towards the gate and the fields beyond.

Willow took a deep breath as she moved through the Tai chi series. She hadn't been very comfortable with this portion of her rehabilitation when she'd first come to the mansion but with the leftover skills she had imbued herself with after her fight with Buffy the need for them had become obvious. Fred had been insistent that she focus herself and gain control over even that facet of her recovery and so she had begun to learn Tai chi on top of several non aggressive fighting techniques.

"She ran out." Rose crossed to the window and pointed out seeing if she could spot the dark haired woman.

"Is she okay?" Willow was already over to the closet slipping on some shoes and a heavy sweater.

"I'll find her." Willow patted the housekeeper's arm as she passed to the door and started running.

Ruth knew she had to stop, her lungs were burning and she had twisted her ankle when she had stumbled through the gate and she knew basically she had no where to run but for a long while that didn't change her pace.

When finally she couldn't run any further, she slowed down and then stopped dropping down to rest her hands on her knees. Breathing hard and fast she could feel the rush of anger through her blood, it hummed in her ears and throbbed in her temples enough to make her head hurt.

Dropping down onto one knee, Ruth looked up and around she'd only made it as far as the small copse of trees on the second field away from the house. It wouldn't take Fred, Sue or Jayne any time at all to reach her, so she knew she had to find her equilibrium fast.

"RUTH!" Willow's calling was distant at first and then started to get louder. "RUTH!"

Ruts head flicked round hearing the redhead's voice, a frown creased her troubled brow and for a moment she hovered between pushing up again and taking flight for a second time and just starting a slow resigned walk back to the house. As it was she did neither she just stayed there on one knee. Breathing hard, her head dipped down as she gasped for air.

"Ruth!" Willow came through the fence and scanned around before she finally saw her kneeled on the ground. "Are you okay? What happened?" She pushed through the grass towards the other witch and went down on her knees next to her.

"Ru, don't be silly." Willow reached up and tucked a flyaway lock of hair behind the brunette's ear. "I know you better than that."

"I just had to get out of that farce." Ruth sighed eased back and sat down on her butt.

"Morgana the mighty was off on one of her, things." Ruth explained without really giving details.

"Which one is Morgana?" Willow asked trying to figure out whom they were talking about exactly. She didn't have as much contact with the other girls as Ruth did as they were all afraid of her and Fred agreed the stress on them wasn't necessarily a beneficial thing.

"The big mouthed weird one who like to were black and paint her nails gunmetal gray." Ruth raised her eyebrows high.

"What did she say?" Willow asked nodding that she knew whom they were talking about now.

"Whatever it is you can tell me." The redhead reached out to take one of the witch's hands trying to get it to relax.

"She was just mouthing off, about stuff she knows nothing about." The brunette shook her head again fuming.

"None of them, none of them have a clue what magic is, what power you can have." Ruth looked down at the redhead's hands.

"I was just doing Tai chi, talking to you is more important." Willow shook off her worry.

"Racing over a few chilly exposed English fields in pursuit of a crazy witch is more important that martial arts?" Ruth appraised with a sad laugh.

"I just needed to you know, chill." Ruth slowly looked up showing Willow how dilated her blue eyes were.

"We can chill." Willow saw the flare of unused power sitting before her. "We could meditate or do tai chi together." She tired to think of options to help her calm down.

"What do you usually find helps you diffuse?" Willow's voice didn't hold any judgment just question.

Without hesitation Ruth reached round to her back jean pocket and flipped out her knife, she tossed it at the redhead.

"Okay we need a no cutting option." Willow tired not to act too surprised or thrown as she snapped the knife closed and tucked it into her pocket. "Meditation? That could help." She encouraged softly holding out her hands.

"You could go back to the house, if Fred sees you here, he'll blow." Ruth wavered a little before stating the obvious fact.

"He's always going on and on to me about making choices. My choice is to help my friend." She explained her reasoning.

"Rose bought me one for my birthday the other year." The brunette offered the meek explanation.

"No if you're happier with the old movements, then that's fine." Ruth pushed up and away from the redhead and began a ready stance.

"Come on, it's your pick and you picked basketball." Willow moved over and looped her arm into Ruth's. "Just don't get mad if I hit you with it by accident or drop it lots." She smiled and tugged her towards the house.

"I don't mind if you hit me on purpose, as long as you learn to duck my returns." Ruth laughed as they started back.

"Ruthie you're up early." Rose blinked and rubbed her eyes as she opened the kitchen door to find the raven-haired witch rummaging around in the fridge.

"Busy, can't talk." Ruth didn't look round and just continued to pull things out frantically.

"People won't like the fact you're down here before wake up." Rose warned gently.

"She's not down here alone." Jayne's voice preceded the appearance of the therapist who came in from the small hallway near the backdoor carrying with her a wicker basket. "I'm watching her every move." She flashed a smile at Ruth who was busy carrying her stash over to the table.

"Well as long as someone is watching." Rose smiled at the other therapist as she went into a small cupboard and pulled out two packets of cookies. "They won't mind me doing this." She added them to Ruth's pile. "Though knowing what's going on duck might be nice though."

"It's Tara's birthday." Ruth gave the simple answer. "Can I have a knife to cut this bread?" She asked looking at Jayne. The blonde therapist moved to pass her one from the knife block.

"It's early and I'm not quite awake, who is Tara?" Rose questioned knowing she should know the answer but not having it come immediately.

"Oh." Rose let out a slow breath. "Ruthie, are you sure Willow's going to be up for a picnic?" She questioned softly.

"No, she's going to want to curl up and die all day, which is why I am making her go on a picnic." Ruth stated clearly as she hurried over to the fruit bowl and picked up an apple a banana and an orange.

"Just be prepared for some resistance lass." Rose smiled at the young woman's dedication.

"What is it you always say Mrs. Lauder… sometimes you have to be shown a rainbow to know the sun still is shining even through the rain?" Ruth quoted the housekeeper with a smile.

"Indeed." The housekeeper smiled more. "Did you get one of the picnic blankets?"

"That I covered." Jayne held up the wicker basket she carried. "Jut like I have the job of being chaperone. I have picked out a good book from the library to read."

"Why don't you go rouse Willow duck while I finish packing for you?" Rose offered looking up to the clock.

"Cool." Ruth dashed out, only to run back in. "Oh Rose, is my blue shirt clean?" She asked with a wider grin.

"It's on the rack in the ironing room I finished it earlier." The housekeeper smiled at her.

Ruth stood up straight outside Willow's door breathing deeply as she ran her hands over her thighs. Her palms were slightly sweaty as she rubbed them into the dark denim. Taking a final deep breath she raised one hand to brush through her short dark locks and let the other rap against the door. Nothing but heavy silence greeted her.

The room was still dark as the drapes were pulled tightly closed to block out all the light. In the dimness it was obvious that Willow was in the middle of the big four poster bed, her small body curled under the heavy blankets while the top cover was littered with used tissues. The light sound of sobbing came muffled from under the bedding.

"Go away." The crackled words came finally as the body under the blankets shivered.

"Please..." Willow sniffled her head not visible as she had the blankets tucked up over the pillow. "I just want to be alone."

"I know you do and I understand that but I can't let you be, not today." Ruth moved over to the bed and tugged at the cover.

"Go away." Willow tried again as she gripped the blanket trying to keep it in place.

"Ruth, go away." Willow's voice was more forceful as she turned over putting her back to the witch as the blanket was removed. "I just want to be alone."

"I know you do and I know why you do, but no." Ruth flatly refused as she moved around the room selecting some clothes for the redhead.

"This has nothing to do with you." Willow sniffled as she wiped her cheeks with tissues.

"Go away." Willow reached down pulling the blanket back up over her head while the brunette was busy. Ruth put the clothes on the chair near the bed and crossed to the bed again, roughly pulled the comforter free again.

"We both know it, today is nothing to do with me, it's nothing to do with you either. Today is everything about someone else, which is why you've got ten minutes to get your butt out of that bed and into those clothes." Ruth gave her the firm ultimatum.

"It is about me!" Willow barked back. "Leave me alone." She turned away again putting the pillow over her head.

"Get out of that bed Willow Rosenberg before I make the fucking thing disappear leaving your ass on the floor." The brunette warned.

"I said go away." Willow growled back not particularly responding to the ultimatum. She pulled her body up and curled sitting up against the headboard just in case she was suddenly on the floor.

"Fine stay there, stay there in your misery and your pain while I go out and remember that Tara was a person that never brought pain to this world, stay in the dark while I go out the and try and picture what a light she must have been. Stay in here feeling sorry for yourself instead of feeling the love and the happiness you had." Ruth pushed a hand into her pocket.

"I miss her, she should be alive, she should be turning 22." Willow sobbed softly.

"I know you do and you're right she should." Ruth crossed to the bed and sat down on it. "She should be alive and you should be together on the other side of the world, but for some stupid reason that's not the case." She reached her hand out and drew it down Willow's comfortingly.

"Last year on her birthday we were fighting..." Willow sniffled. "About the magic. I sent her flowers, I don't even know if she got them."

"I bet she did, and I bet she loved them." Ruth moved her hand again. "You only fought because she loved you." She pointed out.

"And I was a stupid selfish magic addicted bitch." Willow dropped her head ashamed as she sobbed again.

"I'm afraid I'm going to forget her. Forget how she looked, forget how she smelled, forget how she felt." Willow looked up her eyes red and puffy from crying.

Ruth moved up along side Willow and took the redhead's hand. She raised it up and then pressed it palm to with hers, pressing the fingers out so that the two were comparable. Ruth's hands were small then the redhead's.

"My dad always said you never forget a hand. His were so much bigger than mine." She slid her hand up so that the fingers were longer than Willow's. "Were Tara's?"

"Her hand was bigger than mine, she had really slim fingers... princess hands I always told her cause they were so delicate and soft." Willow whispered as she looked at their hands. "She had a callous here from sewing." She rubbed her finger down the inside of Ruth's thumb.

"Never, she used to manicure them short with just a glossy coat no colors." Willow reached up and wiped her cheeks again.

"Warm or cool?" Ruth kept feeding her the gentle questions to prove how very much she remembered about her lover without even really thinking.

"Always warm." Willow smiled softly. "I always had cold hands and feet she told me."

"You're never going to forget her Willow because she's a part of you she's with you in you." Ruth slid her hand back down Willow's and pressed their fingers to interlock.

"Before I had Tara in my life I was nothing, I was just a computer geek who no one really loved. She loved me, she loved me more than anyone ever could." Willow whispered her lips shivering.

"Because I want you to come outside. I want to show you the rainbow." Ruth replied cryptically.

"Is that a lesbian joke?" Willow couldn't help but crack a slim sad smirk as she asked the question.

"If I'd have said taste the rainbow it might have been a skittles pun." Ruth chuckled and shook her head.

"Still a lesbian joke Ru." Willow relented and moved over to the clothes. "I don't want to hang out with people though." She made her ultimatum with the line in the sand.

"No, you're Ru." Willow shook her head. "The only person in this stinking place who can threaten me with magic and not get teleported to a new zip code." She gave her a slight smile.

"I'm afraid there's a Jayne involved to but I'm pretty much certain that the therapists are aliens so I don't think she counts either." Ruth pushed off the bed and walked to the door. "Think you can make it down to the kitchen in about ten?"

Ruth looked across at Willow as the redhead sat crossed legged on the checked blanket.

"How's it feel?" She asked softly as she looked out briefly to the view of sprawling fields that they had from their hilltop.

"It's a nice place, thanks for trying so hard." Willow made the soft admission, she'd found her voice wouldn't go above a quiet tone since she'd gotten dressed and slowly made her way downstairs.

"Jayne seems to have gotten the subliminal get lost message." Ruth looked over to the therapist was sat a good fifteen meters away her attention focused on the book she had brought with her.

"She's being really nice, I was really dreading them trying to crawl around in my brain today." Willow glanced over. "Really Ru, Thank you for doing this."

"I've had it planned for a while, well specifically since Buffy confirmed the date with me." The raven-haired woman admitted.

"It wasn't something I wanted to bring up Lo." Ruth explained in a gentle tone. "It was just easier to ask her."

"No, I mailed, thanking her for her letter. I told you about that." She reminded the redhead. " I asked in that."

"Oh right, sorry." Willow nodded. "It's beautiful up here, Tara would have loved it." She let her mind drift again.

"You did?" Willow looked at the brunette questioning. "Not just for a picnic?" She patted the basket.

"You know my Father was Irish." Ruth began to explain her other reasons. "Well I thought, when I first heard Tara's name, I thought it was Irish and I was right. I checked the meaning." Ruth rambled realizing she wasn't exactly explaining anything. "Tara means Hill." She summed up clearer. "I wanted to bring you closer to Tara today."

"Does it? Wow." Willow was so touched and impressed by the connection that Ruth was offering her. "Thank you Ru." She whispered as her eyes filled with tears.

"And then there was this." Ruth slipped her hand into the picnic basket and pulled out a flat wrapped rectangle.

"No, no I want to." Willow held her hands out. "You went to so much trouble I have to see."

"I didn't get it framed in case you know you didn't like it." Ruth explained as she placed the present in Willow's hands.

Ruth subconsciously raised her hand to her mouth as she watched Willow undoing the wrapping and she chewed the side of her thumbnail nervously.

The redhead seemed to unwrap the back end, as a white sheet was all she could see but as she turned it over her breath caught in her throat. Slowly she ran her fingers over the central blonde Goddess figure in the tapestry. She then traced out the intricate Celtic knots along with the bull and lion that flanked the figure but it was as her eyes came to read in calligraphy at the bottom "Tara: Center of the World" that tears began to flow freely again.

"It's okay if you hate it." Ruth had looked down before Willow finished with the wrapping it.

"Hate it? No, no, no!" Willow ran her hand over it again. "I love it... it's... how did you find this? It's beautiful." She cried silently as she talked and caused the brunette to look up slowly.

"It's Tara." The redhead whispered crying thickly as she leaned over and hugged the brunette. "Thank you Ru, thank you."

"I hoped I'd caught her right." Ruth rubbed her hand over Willow's back as she held her.

"It was so hard, trying to make it in the time when you were meditating and practicing your tai chi." Ruth replied with a soft nod and green eyes blinked a few times.

"I can't even say thank you enough to tell you how much this means to me." Willow tried to get the words out between her tears. "She would have loved this. I love it."

"What do these symbolize?" Willow sat closer and pointed to the different additions around the central blonde hair blue eyed figure.

"It's all Celtic. When we get back to the house I can show you my plans and everything." Ruth assured her.

"I see the rainbow." Willow whispered holding the tapestry in her lap. She closed her eyes and felt the soft breeze pass over her. "She's still a part of everything, she's still an important power in this world. She's still love and beauty."

"And she's still yours." Ruth said though she had no idea where the words had come from.

"Living on the Hellmouth we talked once about what we would do if one of us..." Willow swallowed. "I of course didn't want to talk about it because Buffy had just died and Joyce had died but Tara made me sit down and talk with her. It was the hardest conversation I've ever had to listen too because all she kept saying was that if it was her I had to keep living. I had to be all the things I would have been if she was there, because she would never leave me and because she could never be happy if I wasn't happy."

"Maybe I should push my luck then and ask you to eat more picnic." Ruth winked seeing just how deeply her friend loved the woman they were honoring.

"Go on give us a sandwich then." Willow sniffled back more tears and smiled. She kept the tapestry close by so she could run her hand over it and happily Ruth obliged.

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Witness

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