Eclipsed by mike

Rating: R
Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all characters belong to
Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and Fox.
Helena and Barbara belong to Mike Tollin, Brian Robbins, Joe Davola (Smallville) and Ron Koslow (Beauty and the Beast), Birds of Prey was written and developed for television by Laeta Kalogridis (Lara Croft: Tomb Raider) and is produced by Warner Bros. Television and Tollin/Robbins Productions based on the popular comic books from DC Comics.
Distribution: The Mystic Muse http://mysticmuse.net
Anywhere else, please ask me first.
Feedback: Constructive comments are encouraged.
Spoilers: Post-Season Six.
Author's Notes: The WB cancelled Birds of Prey just as the writers were beginning to hit their stride. With Buffy cancelled everything is open. Spoilers apply through season six of Buffy, season 7 never happened. This actually takes place a little over a year after Tara's death. Dawn is seventeen and about to start her senior year of High School. Buffy went back to UCS and is half way through her junior year. Willow just graduated and is contemplating graduate courses. Xander is out of town on a construction job
Pairing: Willow/Buffy Buffy/Helena

Summary: The Huntress discovers vampires in New Gotham and is told of the existence of The Slayer.

New Gotham City shimmered on a cool night with the glow of city lights casting half shadows everywhere. The young woman walked quickly, her new balance cross trainers barely making a sound on the slightly moist concrete of the sidewalk. She had two more blocks to reach her building as she passed the alley. Faster than thought, at least hers, a cold hand with long sharp nails reached out and pulled her into the shadows. A cold rough hand went over her mouth to stifle her scream and a hungry mouth with sharp fangs swooped swiftly towards her neck to be roughly pulled away just before tasting the lady's sweet nectar.

I had been passing by on my nocturnal tour of the city's rooftops just as I saw this girl grabbed and pulled into an alley. Wasting no time I leapt down and grabbed his shoulders. With all my strength I flung him across the alley into a wall. I watched expecting him to just crumble after hitting the wall so hard and was prepared for swift retaliation. The man appeared to just bounce off the wall completely unaware of how severely damaged he should be.

"If you're not the slayer, then I may yet survive." He launched himself at me so quickly only my instincts saved me as I leapt over his head. I tried trading blows but soon realized they were having little effect.

The frightened girl who had been yanked into the alley had quickly recovered and made a fast escape, an escape that I was quickly beginning to consider for myself. This thing is just too strong, and his face, it's so grotesque he can't be human. My speed and agility are the only things saving me. OK, the woman is safe, time to make a quick escape to a rooftop. I observe the impossibly strong creature glaring up at me from the alley below.

It quickly decides to leave in search of easier prey. His face now looks normal, just like any other person in need of a tan. He's heading downtown, I think I'll follow him at a safe distance, wish I had binoculars.

I can't follow him in there. Time for a consult with Oracle, hope she's still awake.

The clock tower was warm and as quiet as it ever got in the early hours of morning with dawn only a few hours away. Helena's incessant typing into query engines finally brought Barbara from her room.

"What's got you so obsessed? Find a really good chat room?" I looked up as her chair noiselessly transported her into the data area of the tower.

"No, found something really scary and need to know what it is. The only thing it seems to be afraid of is something called The Slayer."

With these words, Barbara stopped dead still. Her hands fell from the controls of her chair as her now gaping eyes became wide awake.

I started to respond impatiently, and then quickly realized that Barbara had reacted to what I had just said and already knew what I was talking about.

"The Slayer. And I already think you know what the hell it is." I gazed with concern at the shocked expression on Barbara's face.

"But, uhhh, it's merely a myth. Just vague hints and rumors along with the demons she kills." Barbara's voice was so soft, the near shock of her personal revelation clearly unsettling her.

"Myth…, her…, demons. OK, spill, and I don't care about what you can prove, I want to know everything you know." I'm positive my impatience was clearly evident in my brusque tone but patience is definitely not one of my virtues.

Barbara stared dumbstruck for about 30 seconds, something she had never done before. Then she took in a large breath. "OK, I have no idea the accuracy of what I'm about to tell you, but we'll figure that out later. It sounds like information is definitely necessary right now."

I watch Barbara sit firmly back in her chair and close her eyes for a moment, obviously collecting her thoughts. Then her eyes shot open and pierce me to my very soul.

"In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. Into each generation a Slayer is born, one girl in all the world, a Chosen One, one born with the strength and skill to hunt the vampires, to stop the spread of their evil."

"It's said that there is only one slayer at a time. A new one is only called upon the death of the previous slayer. They are supposed to be called in their early to mid teens and very rarely live past their eighteenth birthday. For some reason, eighteen seems to be a crucial turning point for the Slayers." Barbara hung her head in remembrance of the tragic stories she had read.

The room was quiet except for the background hum of electronics that was nonexistent to the modern ear.

I finally stirred from my contemplation as I realized there was someone out there who could help. "What do you know about this creature I fought tonight?"

"It's probably a vampire from your description. I suppose a wooden stake through the heart would kill it, but that's as unconfirmed as the rest of the myth. The big question is what is one doing in New Gotham? And is there only one?" Barbara sighed softly with her question.

"My instincts are screaming that they are like coach roaches. When you see one, there are thousands in hiding. Well hopefully not thousands, but you get my drift." I felt my head drop and I became overwhelmed by the immensity of the potential problem. I shook it off as I realized that I wasn't totally helpless.

"I'm not as strong as they are, but my speed and agility enabled me to hold my own with one of them. I just need to learn how to fight and kill them. And it sounds like this Slayer is the perfect teacher. Where do I find her? You did say her, right?"

Barbara smiled wanly at her young protégé. "Yes, she, the Slayer is always a woman. Something about the power being so tempting to abuse, only a woman could be trusted with the responsibility. And not even all of them are able to refrain from the temptation."

"So, where do I find this mythical warrior?" I asked hoping she would have the answer.

"Someplace called the Hell mouth. I don't have any better information than that." Barbara barely whispered.

Helena was up much earlier than was her custom. Normally up all hours of the night, she rarely arose before noon. Barely nine AM, and she was back on the street after talking to Gibson. The cool early morning dampness just beginning to dissipate but not the information the eidetic squirt had imparted. In fact, her head felt like it was swirling. She desperately needed to go someplace quiet and think, but more importantly she needed to get to the Hell mouth now that she knew its location. That meant back to the lair and Oracle.

I slowly replayed my mostly one sided conversation with Gibson. I remember entering the bar area where Gibson was restocking shelves.

As her thoughts took her back into Gibson's bar, her body went into auto mode as she physically, if not mentally, made her way back to the Clock Tower.

"Why good morning Huntress, what brings you out so early?" There was shock in his eyes but a pleasant one if the smile on his face was any indication.

The smile evaporated from his face as his mind recalled all he had ever heard of the mythical being.

"I need to know because I encountered a vampire last night. And if they exist, so does the Slayer. It was too strong for me. It mistook me for this Slayer at first but when I corrected its error, his fear disappeared. He was so strong, getting away became my only option. My speed and agility were all that saved me. I need to know how to fight this thing and The Slayer sounds like the person to tell me how."

"Wow." Gibson stared in amazement, his thoughts momentarily spinning out of control. He quickly recovered from the unaccustomed chaos and began to answer Helena's question.

"The Slayer is a human female. She is mystically endowed with great strength, speed, endurance and healing power. There is only supposed to be one at a time, but rumor says somehow there are now two. They talk of light and dark slayer's. The light slayer is the first and the dark came second. The dark and light supposedly come from their hair color, but some say it also reflects their natures. He must have mistook you for the dark one." The small man paused for a moment, processing what to impart next.

"It was rumored that the light one died, leaving the Hell mouth unguarded. And before you ask, I have no idea why the other Slayer isn't there to guard it also." He interjected as he saw the question form on my lips.

"In any case, when a group of demons showed up to try and take over, she was there and decimated them with only a couple making their escape to let the rest of the demon world know that she still guarded the Hell mouth." Taking a moment for a drink of water, he continued.

"The demon's are scared stiff of her. It used to be a big thing to try and take a slayer down, but this one is so tough, they feel its suicide to try. They say she beat a hell god to death, and they're supposed to be invincible. In any case, this is what I've heard and I didn't hear it from any demon. Just some meta's that claim they heard it from demons." Gibson finished with a slight shrug of his shoulders and his characteristic smirk.

"If they are so afraid of her, could that be why vampires are in New Gotham? Could our city just be safer hunting grounds for them?" I asked, wondering if this was the reason for my previous night's encounter.

"Can you tell me where this Hell mouth is so I can find out how to get rid of these creatures before they overrun the city?" My tone though was more a demand than a request.

"Oh, yea. The Hell mouth is supposed to be in Sunnydale, California. And Huntress, one more thought comes to mind. Slayers are very special and rare. They could very well be a special type of meta-human that enables them to be empowered by this mystical whatever it is. Don't know if that will help, but at least if you think of her as a meta, you might be more comfortable with her. Thinking of her as a mystical being is somewhat daunting, don't you think?" His reply did little to cover his own nervousness over the discovery.

I vaguely remembered thanking him and quickly departing. HMYer thoughts refocused on the present as I stepped into the nerve center of the lair, only mildly amazed that I didn't even remember how I got here. Spotting Barbara, I made my way over to where she was doing research.

"Sure did, Gibson came through. The demon's are scared stiff of her and she's in Sunnydale, California. How quickly can I get there?"

"You go pack and I'll make the arrangements. You can fill me in on the way to the airport." Barbara said as she turned to her computer.

"Yea, and I better pack some platform shoes so I don't get a stiff neck looking up at her. From everything I've heard this broad's got to be seven feet tall." I said with a shake of my head before leaving to pack. My thoughts and feelings were very mixed over the coming meeting with someone whom I had already acknowledged as my superior. A situation I had never imagined.

Oh God, a night fighting bad guys hurts less than six hours flying I thought ruefully as I closed the door of my hotel room. Stepping slowly out of the spacious entry alcove, I was greeted to an even more spacious room decorated in soft earth tones.

A hardwood floor with oriental rugs under a luxurious couch facing a marble fireplace was the centerpiece of the main room. To my right, I noticed two doors, one to a small restroom. The other revealed a nightstand and part of a large bed. But the most dominating sight was the expanse of floor to ceiling windows and French doors leading to an enormous balcony. The light of the half set reddish gold sun brought the room to life. The room absorbed the light and in turn radiated with such warmth that it took the my breathe away.

Slowly rising from the naturally induced stupor, I felt a calm and peacefulness I hadn't known since my mother had died. And for once, the memory did not sadden me.

The memory was of good times and the longing no longer over shadowed the love. I could feel myself smiling as I entered the bedroom of the suite, placing my one suitcase in front of the walnut dresser. Quickly unpacking I brought my toiletries into the main bath. The spacious Jacuzzi tub and separate tiled shower made me smile all the more.

"Hey Barbara, I made it and gotta say great room. It makes up for the flight and that awful transfer in San Fran." I spoke as soon as Barbara answered.

"Glad you like it. It was the only actual Hotel in Sunnydale. When I spoke with them, they just said all their rooms were very nice. Then they asked me very politely if daylight would be a problem for the person staying. I told them it wouldn't be a problem at all. But it made me suspect that they get some unusual guests, so you be careful who you ride the elevator with." Barbara counseled in a motherly tone.

"I don't think that will be a problem. In the lobby, there were a couple of elevators that only went down. The one I got on only went up." I confidently replied to ease Barbara's concern.

"Glad to hear it. So what are your plans? Do you have any ideas on how to find The Slayer?" The Oracle's voice eased back only slightly on the concern for her young charge.

"I'm guessing that since vampires and demons prefer the dark, that I should be able to find her at night as she hunts them. I have no idea how she goes about it, but my plan is to stay on building tops and leave myself plenty of escape routes and hopefully I'll find her before something nasty finds me." I fully explained in hope of further alleviating the concern I was hearing.

"I know you're idea of foolish is different than mine, but try not to do anything that I would consider foolish, OK? Barbara pleaded sincerely.

"Don't worry; I'm still a little freaked about that vampire. I'm really not looking for a repeat of that until I know what I'm doing." I managed to barely keep my exasperation from her voice.

"Well good luck tonight and call if you need anything. I sure don't like you out of contact." Barbara voiced her final volley of concern.

I made one more call to room service, ordering a light dinner while I prepared for my nocturnal excursion. After hanging up a slight shiver went up my arms and down my back as I tried to anticipate what I might encounter tonight. Back in New Gotham I was never sure what the night would bring but I was at least familiar with the territory and it had been a long time since I had felt any trepidation before beginning a hunt.

Here I'm embarking into uncharted waters, waters I knew contained monsters. This combination of the unknown and anticipation of meeting The Slayer resulted in feelings I hadn't experienced since I first started hunting the nights. But even more it was like the trepidation I felt before my first sexual experience.

Fondly remembering that my most satisfying experiences had been with women had already crossed my mind. But business before pleasure I tell myself and finished getting ready as the last glow of daylight surrendered to the night.

The Huntress discovered that in a small city, staying on rooftops was not very easy. Most of the buildings weren't over two stories and there were often large expanses of parking between them. The only place she could successfully follow her plan was downtown. The downtown was well lit and there were quite a few people out and about. These people did not exhibit the kind of caution she would have expected in a place where vampires and monsters supposedly gathered in numbers.

I left the rooftops to walk among the throngs to get a better feel for the city. I tried to be inconspicuous as she listened and watched. But all I saw were normal people doing normal every day things. They talked about the latest movies and why what's his name won't call her back. My imaginings of the Hell mouth were quickly changing.

"Is this even the right place?" I spoke softly while looking across the street at an outdoor café from which live music was emanating.

"Is what the right place?" Startled, I turned to find a petite blonde with the most adorable nose and penetrating green eyes staring up at me.

I didn't respond right away. First my surprise at being overheard, secondly the attractiveness of the young woman patiently waiting for my answer had me unable to come up with a quick response.

"Uh, music. I was told there was a night club around here someplace. But this, "I motioned over my shoulder at the Espresso Pump, "isn't what I had in mind." I finally said putting on my best smile.

There was something about the blonde's posture that bothered me as I saw her respond with a gentle smile of her own. Then she relaxes her posture ever so slightly and I knew what had bothered me. Her stance had been perfectly balanced in preparation for a fight. There was more to this green eyed beauty than meets the eye.

"You're probably thinking of the Bronze. It's the only real night club in town and it's just two blocks over." The girl responded helpfully.

As pretty as you are Helena, I still have a mission. "If you could point me in the right direction, I won't bother you anymore."

"It's no bother, really. I'm going in that direction anyway so I'll just show you." The girl said as if the matter was settled.

It's only a couple of blocks I think and maybe I can find out something about the town I rationalized. "Well if it's no bother, I would appreciate the company. I'm Helena by the way." And I extended my hand.

"Buffy. I'm Buffy." The girl reached forward and grasped Helena's extended hand. Tendrils of electricity coursed up my arm and I could tell she experienced the same reaction causing both of us to gasp in surprise.

Buffy quirked her mouth into a mischievous grin. "Are you always this electrifying Helena?"

Still holding hands, and very reluctant to let go, I raised the flirtation bar. "Only when I'm being turned on."

I watched Buffy's eye's get big, then the surprised girl looked down at Our still clasped hands and pulled her hand away, not rudely, but quickly none the less. Buffy lifted her face back up and I noticed that she was blushing.

"I'm sorry if I embarrassed you, but I thought you were flirting. I'm from New Gotham and I've been told that I can be a bit forward." I quickly attempted damage control.

Buffy let out a breath she had apparently been holding. "No, you don't have anything to apologize for. You're right, I was flirting. I just didn't realize I was. Don't know why I did it. I'm not big with the flirting especially with strangers. In fact never with strangers and never with women well maybe not ever now that I have to think about it and when the hell did I start sounding like Willow?" Buffy abruptly cut herself off before she got herself into real trouble.

Buffy looked suspiciously at the exotic brunette, all her senses open to anything evil or out of the ordinary. But all she could detect was a concerned look on an incredibly beautiful face and a voice that she could listen to for hours. This was not the first time Buffy had felt physically attracted to another woman, but unlike before, she didn't feel the need or desire to suppress the feeling. The suspicion left in an instant as Buffy silently acknowledged that she was attracted to the beautiful stranger. One she had been watching for the last twenty minutes. The tall, dark and beautiful woman had immediately caught her attention as Buffy was cutting through downtown to the warehouse district. Being a stranger and dressed in skin tight black leather are what first drew her eye. Buffy had stopped and watched from a safe distance as the mystery woman appeared to be shopping but was carefully observing the people around her. When the woman stopped to look at the Espresso Pump, Buffy had moved up silently behind her just in time to catch her quiet query.

As Buffy muddled with her own thoughts, I gently responded after stepping closer and putting a comforting hand on Buffy's upper arm. "I don't know who Willow is but if she sounds as adorable as you just did, I think I would really like to meet her."

Jarred from her self questioning reverie, Buffy responded without thinking to the complement for Willow. "Oh she is. Willow can babble like nobody's business and almost every time it's just the most adorable thing you could ever listen to. And Willow would probably love to meet you also what with the beautiful face and the gorgeous body and Willow being gay. But is that why you want to meet Willow because she's into girls and you're into girls and would you just shut me up already. God, I don't know what my problem is tonight. I face hell sp…" Buffy shuts up immediately and takes my hand from her arm and holds it gently between both of hers.

"Uh Helena, could you just forget every thing I just said. I really don't know what my problem is. Let me just show you where the Bronze is and then I can just disappear and you can forget I ever existed." Buffy pleaded hopefully.

I noticed my heart beat and breathing had noticeably increased as Buffy held my hand. Everything she had said in her rapid speech was imprinted in my mind. Buffy was without a doubt the most endearing and now mysterious woman I had ever met. My mind was racing to try and complete what Buffy was about to say before she had abruptly stopped speaking and went into pleading mode.

Clasping Buffy's hands with my own, I leaned forward slowly, watching Buffy's eyes get bigger as I got closer. Buffy just stared at me until I gently tilted my head and kissed her ever so gently on the lips. So light and brief that anyone watching who blinked would not even know it had happened. I brought my head back and gazed softly into Buffy's look of amazement.

"Buffy, I don't think I could ever forget you. In fifteen minutes you have imprinted yourself permanently into my memory. And they are already some of the best memories of my life and I'm really hoping you can add some more." My words and warm breath basked Buffy's face.

Buffy's face and growing smile amply reflected the effect Helena was having on her. This felt so good she wasn't going to question its source as long as it wasn't evil and Helena wasn't evil. Warm, soft hands and a strong pulse all said human and a very beautiful one at that. A beautiful woman who found her, Buffy unforgettable in a good way.

Buffy took my hand in hers. "Let's go, the Bronze is this way. We can talk some more on the way. In fact, it would probably be good if you did most of the talking since I've already used my word allotment for the next year."

As they walked in the direction of the dark warehouses behind Main Street, I pondered how to ask Buffy my next question without being thought a lunatic.

The transition from the warm lights of the downtown shopping district to the darkness of the warehouses was almost eerie. The hum of activity was left behind for the quite blanket of the night. But no, not really quiet. There was a throbbing that could be felt more than heard. It had that indescribable quality of something unheard but still sensed. It was like the bass in a THX theater, the bone throbbing sounds of unseen power.

I glanced over at Buffy who is still holding my hand. The warmth and softness of her hand was comforting in a way that was vaguely familiar but long forgotten. The wisps of memory escaped my best efforts of capture. I eventually relent, and allowed myself to just enjoy the feeling, trusting when the time is right the phantoms would reveal themselves.

Taking in the blonde's profile, I first saw the beautifully simple features of a soft healthy cheek, chin and nose, her soft eyelashes protecting beautiful eyes that were so casually took in everything about them.

What the hell? Buffy is on guard! Her expression is relaxed but I can tell she sees and hears everything. She is aware of everything about her. And now her head is turning towards me as she becomes aware that I'm staring at her. I need to turn my head but I can't. The best I can do is smile as she looks at me. She becomes embarrassed and blushes again. It's so adorable I smile even more at the joy of watching this beautiful woman react so strongly to my uncontrolled gaze.

"I'm sorry, but I can't seem to keep my eyes off of you." I say softly, allowing the words to flow from the deepest register I could safely evoke. My voice caused a noticeable shiver in her small frame. More color in her cheeks. This only made me warm in a deep down way. I was really enjoying making this incredible beauty react so deliciously.

Buffy knew she was quickly losing all ability to think coherently and stilled herself quickly. 'Come on Buffy, you can't afford to get distracted. You know damn well that's exactly when the demons show up. Blind siding you when you least expect it. Just because she makes you feel beautiful and desired is no reason to turn into a meal on wheels. Just get her talking about herself. You can learn more about her and still keep your wits about you. And no matter what, don't think about when she'll kiss you again. No can't think about those soft lips and how they made you tingle all over and … Damn it, you're not supposed think that so say something already.'

"So Helena, you were going to do the talking thing since I still haven't extracted my foot completely from my mouth yet. Tell me about yourself. Like what brings you to our funny little town." That should get things going.

While still looking at Buffy, we continued walking since owr hands were still so nicely and firmly clasped. Buffy has been pretty open with me, maybe I should be open with her as I considered what to tell her.

"Well, like I said I'm from New Gotham. I'm here on business." I paused momentarily, steeling myself as I launched into the next part.

"Something very recently came to New Gotham that I have no experience with and I need to find out how to take care of this problem. I was told by a very reliable source that I could find what I needed to know from someone in Sunnydale." I paused again. Looking again at Buffy to see how she was reacting so far. Buffy appeared attentive to what I was saying but she seemed attentive to everything. Might as well get it out there, what's the worst that could happen? She thinks someone pulled a good joke on me, I hope. Well here goes.

"So I'm here to find The Slayer. I've been told The Slayer can help us and…" I hadn't noticed right away the emptiness in my hand and the lack of a person walking beside me immediately. When I did, I stopped and turned around to see…, wow, this girl has more faces than Lon Chaney and I don't think I like this face, this face that is so hard. How could something so beautiful, transform so quickly into something so hard, like a cold steel blade that was piercing into my very soul.

"Buffy, is something wrong?" I asked, not quite able to keep the cold fear out of my voice. A fear I hadn't known I felt 'till just now. It was quite a revelation as I realized that this tiny woman was projecting something that was quite overwhelming. Does she even realize she's doing it?

'Oh God, I'm scaring her.' Buffy chastised herself. 'Damn slayer reactions. Stop scaring the poor girl and just find out what she wants, she did say she was looking for help, and she doesn't know she's looking for you, or does she?' Buffy shook her head.

"Sorry, you just startled me. Don't get many out of town human's looking for the slayer. So, do you know anything about the slayer?" Buffy asked as casually as she could while attempting to relax her face and even manage an apologetic smile.

Why would mention of The Slayer startle her so badly? But that look is gone and the way her mouth is twisting into such an adorably shy smile, I must have just misunderstood the look on her face. Yea, maybe she knows The Slayer and is just frightened of her.

"Sorry I startled you. All I know about The Slayer is that she's a young woman who kills demons, especially vampires, which is what has brought me here seeking her help. I guess she must be pretty scary if monsters are frightened of her." I watched Buffy's face carefully to see how my explanation affected her.

Buffy sensed the sincerity of Helena's explanation and decided to be honest but not quite fully revealing yet. Especially while Helena thought she was scary.

"No, that's not it. I know her and usually when someone is looking for her it is for no good. In fact it's always been of the bad, like killing and dying. So she has to be careful for traps and things." Buffy hoped this would be enough to get Helena to explain herself further.

"You know her? Could you introduce me?" My enthusiasm and excitement surprised Buffy as I see her eyes widen.

"Maybe, but she's not going to want to meet you unless she knows what it's for." Buffy kept up the role of protective friend of the slayer.

"Oh, your right. She doesn't know me from Adam. And I guess, neither do you." I began but stopped as I noticed the humorous smirk on the impish face.

Seeing the questioning look on Helena's face Buffy quickly retorted. "Oh, she would definitely know you from Adam. As Adam being over seven feet tall and looking like a demon jigsaw puzzle. But that's kind of a private joke. Go ahead, I'll try not to interrupt you again."

I chuckled, realizing I had stumbled into a very strange land indeed. "OK, well glad to hear I can't be mistaken for Adam." I returned Buffy's smile warmly.

"Anyway, I'm here because vampires have shown up in New Gotham. I was able to distract one when it attacked a young woman walking home the other night. I thought he was just a garden variety perv but he was so incredibly strong and quick, I barely escaped. And his face was all deformed, with the fangs and everything. I followed him at a distance to where he entered what is supposed to be an abandoned building. I did some research and that's when I found out vampires do exist and that they have a natural enemy. So I'm here to hopefully learn how to kill vampires before they wreck havoc in my city." I watched Buffy's piercing gaze finally soften as I finished speaking.

Buffy stood quietly for a few moments, quietly pondering the beautiful woman's words. Buffy knew she was sincere. She could detect no dishonesty, but she did sense something was being kept back. And when she reviewed the story in her mind, she thought she might just know what it was.

"Do you save young women from perverts as a regular thing? Like are you a cop?" Buffy asked, not remotely expecting the response that greeted her.

I burst out laughing. Nearly doubling over as I became wracked with tremendous laughter induced convulsions.

"A cop? You think I'm a cop? No, no way. In fact I know someone who would just laugh his ass off if heard that. A cop, oh, that's rich." I got all this out very slowly between fits of laughter.

Buffy's raised eyebrows were slowly joined by an equally amused smile as she enjoyed the mirth of this enchanting beauty.

When I finally calmed down, Buffy patiently waited for a better explanation to her question. Seeing the blonde's patient smile I grinned appreciatively and thought 'what the hell, she knows about demons, meta humans shouldn't be too much of a shock.'

"New Gotham seems to attract a very organized criminal element. Especially those meta humans that feel inclined to abuse their powers. I work with a couple of people to do what the police can't. I go after those criminals who elude justice and see that they are caught and punished legally. Some might call us vigilante's, but we work on prevention and we turn the criminals over to the police with the evidence to convict them."

"Isn't that dangerous? What happens if they get violent with you.?" Buffy asked cautiously.

"Well, I can take care of myself. I'm stronger and faster than a normal human." I said confidently, allowing my pride in my abilities convince the young woman of my words.

"You're stronger and faster than a normal human. So you're not human?" Buffy asked softly.

I answered quickly, "Oh no, I'm human, just a meta human. A human with evolved abilities. In fact, Barbara thinks that your friend The Slayer might be a meta human."

Buffy was again thoughtful as she contemplated what next to say and filing away meta humans. She would ask Willow to research the term later on. Back to the matter at hand, she wanted to help Helena, but she was remembering the exchange they had with each other prior to finding out Helena's need to find help from the slayer. The Slayer, she thought to herself, it's not another person, it's who I am. It's me, the slayer is me and I'm the slayer. We are one, in fact I are one. No we. No separate entity. But would Helena see it that way? Would she still find her attractive after she knew? After she finds out, she's not going to want to flirt with me. I'll no longer be unforgettable Buffy, I'll be the Slayer. Damn it. Well she needs my help, can't turn her down.

"OK, I'll introduce you to her." Buffy paused for effect. "In fact…" Buffy stopped immediately as her senses went off, detecting approaching vamps.

"Helena, we're about to have company. Try and stay out of the way and let me take care of everything." Buffy knew her voice was in slayer command mode, but there was nothing she could do about it right now as she dashed towards the approaching danger.

My experience immediately warned me all was not well. Buffy's abrupt change and the quickness with which she dashed past me were easily enough to put me on guard. Turning quickly to follow and help in what I rightly suspected was a coming fight; I smiled inwardly at Buffy telling me to stay out of the way. I was looking forward to showing Buffy what I was capable of. I wasn't above a little showing off to impress someone I was attracted to.

There they are, three big guys. But why is Buffy rushing towards them? Is she crazy? She'll get hurt for sure. Damn, better catch up before she does something stupid.

"No Buffy, I'll take care of …" Oh my God, I can see them. Their faces, all grotesque. They're vampires! "Buffy, nooooooo…"

Oh no, she's going to get kill…., what? The middle one just disappeared in a cloud of dust and now they've got her.. And what the hell…. She just tossed the one against the wall. Ouch, I heard bones snap and crack. She just swept the other one's legs and he's on the ground as she bring her hand down with something like a knife in it and what the… Another cloud of dust and she's leaping at the broken vamp as it tries to rise from its position at the base of the wall. Her foot is slamming into its neck. The head pops free from the neck and another cloud of dust… Oh my God, Oh my God… She's walking towards me, slowly. I need to get the stupid expression off my face. Her face looks funny, not funny haha, but, oh it's embarrassment. But why would she be embarrassed. She just wailed on three vamps like they were cotton candy, and I couldn't even handle one so what has she got to be embarrassed about… Oh, Oh…..

In my sudden understanding, I give her a reassuring smile and step slowly to meet her. When we're about a foot apart, I see her looking sheepishly at me, her head tilted down but her expressive eyes looking up at my face.

Seeing this adorable pout on this most beautiful face I knew no one could blame me for doing what I did. And it wouldn't have stopped me if they did. I cupped her face in my hands and brought our lips together tenderly at first, slowly tasting of her lips with mine. As I sucked her lower lip into my hungry mouth I heard her moan gently. Then her arms came up around my neck and we began to devour each other in a passionate blazing hunger. I have no idea how long this lasted, but we finally broke apart with racing hearts and panting breaths.

"Not that I'm complaining but why did you kiss me?" She asked while we caught our breaths.

I looked down on her face. A face flushed with passion, eyes dark with desire and a little scrunch to her eyebrows hinting at her insecurity. I understood her insecurity. I covered mine up by being aggressive. I was catching on that being emotionally aggressive was not something that came easily to her. Not until she felt she could trust the other person. So I was completely honest with her.

"I kissed you because of that adorable pout on your face. It's completely irresistible."

"You're doing it again." And again I leaned down to suck on that adorably expressive bottom lip. After we broke apart again I had to ask her.

"I can't be the first person to ever tell you that you have the most adorable pout ever." I stated rather than asked.

"Well, it might have been mentioned a time or two before." She trailed off and caught herself just as her lip began to protrude. Pulling it back in and delicately moistening her lips with the tip of her tongue I watched mesmerized.

"Because you're still Buffy, the beautiful, adorable woman who was able to put a mark on my heart the first time I met her. Because even with all this amazing power you're still modest and insecure."

With a reluctant grumble she responds. "I've been told I have a superiority complex."

I laughed. "Of course you do. It would be ludicrous to not know that you're superior in some ways. But your insecurity shows that you're aware that having superior abilities as the slayer does not extend to your personnel life as being human. You have to muddle through with intimacy and relationships just like the rest of us poor mortals. Trust me, I have some experience in this area." I finish up with a smile on my face.

Her eyes twinkled mischievously. "So, you teach me all about intimacy and I'll teach you all about slaying vamps."

"Sounds like a win win to me." I said seductively as I grazed my closely clipped nails down her neck. My heart began racing as I noticed the delightful way she shivered at my touch.

"I like being on the winning side." She practically moaned. Then caught herself.

"But I have to finish patrolling first. So if you don't have any other plans, we can start with your lessons." She drew out the last two words slowly. I felt myself licking my lips as she turned slowly, then looked back over her shoulder at me.

"You are the biggest flirt. Do you know that?" I said laughing as I came to her side.

"I've always wanted to be, but rarely had anyone I wanted or dared to flirt with." She said a little more seriously.

"Oh, so there's someone you want to flirt with but haven't dared?" I challenged her.

"Ahh, no. No there's no one that I haven't dared with, 'cause after all Willow's my best friend and …I'm shutting up now. Remember all those words I've used up already, well I just went in to deep debt." Her panicky voice became so soft at the end, I barely heard it.

"I think I'm going to be very jealous when I meet this Willow. She must be incredibly intimidating if she scares you." I gently tease her, trying to lighten her mood and panicky response.

"Willow's not intimidating, except for when she gets resolve face which is a whole lot better than veiny face with the black eyes and hair cause then she's downright scary but she doesn't do that anymore, well the resolve face but that's just mostly cute. Just can't argue with her. Don't really want to when her eyes get all serious and her lower lip sticks out stiff like. She's just so cute, arguing is the last thing on your mind." Buffy trailed off, her voice getting very low and her eyes a little dreamy as if she was recalling pleasant memories.

"Buffy, you're a terrible liar. I can't believe you believe what you're shoveling."

"But Willow doesn't think of me that way. To her, I'm just her best friend. I've dropped enough hints about how I feel, but she's just ignored them all. So it's time that I move on and not just with some guy so I can pretend I'd rather not be with her that way. I want to move on with what I really need." She paused and then spoke very low and slowly. "A woman who excites me and make me feel as desirable as I desire her." As she finished, her dark green eyes were piercing my very soul.

I felt myself grow warm all over and after a moment voiced my feelings. "Then how about we stop back at my hotel after my lesson so we can continue with yours."

With a quick kiss she grabbed my hand and pulled me along the dark street towards an even darker cemetery.

As we passed between the stone pillars, Buffy released my hand and handed me a wooden stake. Her entire demeanor changed and I could feel what she was for it resonated with my own nature. She was a hunter a hunter like me, but more.

"The pointy end goes in the heart. If you leave it in too long, it disintegrates with the vamp so you'll want to pull it out just before they go poof. I want to find a single then I'll hold it while you stake him. That way you can get a feel for how much pressure you need to penetrate the chest."

"OK, this should be fun." I responded as I shivered a little over the thought of plunging the simple implement into what would appear to be a human chest.

She nearly glided across the ground and I followed as quietly. We came around some type of stone structure to come up behind someone who had just pulled themselves out of a grave. Buffy leaped on his back, knocking him to the ground. She then grabbed his upper arms and yanked him up. Holding him kicking and squirming, she turned him around to face me. His face was all contorted and his eyes were a blazing yellow.

I moved closer, swatting a leg to the side, the impact jarring me a bit. But it gave me the clearance I needed. Steeling myself quickly, I plunged the stake into the left side of his chest. He screamed so loud, I nearly let go of the stake. Yanking it out, he kicked me in the hip and sent me sprawling.

"You were too high, try it again about six inches lower." She called out as she yanked his arms back and up. I heard the popping as his shoulders dislocated just before he screamed again. Bouncing up swiftly, I readjusted my aim. With determination, I plunged the stake swift and hard, holding for a second and withdrawing the stake quickly. The figure before me went all grayish dark and then dissipated in a cloud of dust. As the dust cleared, I saw Buffy smirking at me.

"Got him on your second try, you are a quick learner. And don't worry about missing the first time, most people think the heart is higher up than it really is."

I walked towards miss smirky with a twinkle to my eye and a feeling of exhilaration. I placed my hand on her chest so that my palm was just above her breast.

She gasped slightly at my touch. "So the heart isn't here, " I then cupped my hand under her left breast. "Its really here." Her eyes went wide as I gently squeezed for dramatic effect.

"Have I found your heart," I leaned closer as I stroked my thumb across the fabric over the center of her breast. "Buffy?"

Her eyes fluttered. "If not, you've at least found the right path." She moaned softly.

I leaned forward and kissed her softly, then pulled back and withdrew my hand. Smiling smugly I replied sexily. "Hope you don't mind if I give you a little preview of your lessons. But I guess you still need to finish instructing me." I finished with a tinge of disappointment.

"Yea, but I think the bell is going to ring early." She then laughed and took off running. I shook my head laughing and took off after her.

Eleven vamps, three for me on my own thank you very much, and one humongous orange colored demon with huge claws which Buffy killed with a wrought iron gate with nicely pointed spikes later, we were approaching my hotel hand in hand. As we rounded the corner, Buffy pulled me up short, stopping me in my tracks.

"Barbara booked it for me. She said it was the only decent hotel in town." I said almost apologetically, not really knowing why but just feeling the need all of a sudden.

"She's not either." I quickly retorted, coming to the defense of my mentor and friend.

Buffy caught herself as she started to speak again. She took a big, slow breath then looked at me apologetically.

"Sorry, she wouldn't have known and I shouldn't have accused her like that. It's just that the Wilkins is where all the baddies stay. We've thought of blowing it up but they always have some humans in the building, either working or just unsuspecting guests like yourself so we really can't. Please forgive me." As she was speaking she had raised my hand to her lips and kissed it softly as she finished speaking.

"Does this mean you're not coming up to my room?" I moaned as she gently sucked on my fingertips.

"But I'm a guest and you're my guest. They can't stop me from having guests in my room." I said getting angry that they might keep me from what I had been fantasizing about for the last couple of hours.

"OK, but if they stop us, I'm checking out and they can just shove their bill up where the sun don't shine."

I nodded in understanding just as we stepped foot into the luxurious lobby. Before we took a second step, panicked people came running up to us, about eight of them forming a barricade. The lead guy with a name tag saying 'John' with "Manager" directly underneath his name stood in front.

John eyes were scared and his hands were twitching. "Oh god please, you can't bring her in here."

"It would upset most of our guests. We guarantee their peace and safety and they would not be safe with 'her' in the hotel." He was sweating like a pig, and it wasn't even warm. I was tempted to see if he had wet himself but instead looked at Buffy who was looking amused.

"Well I'm a guest and she's with me. Now if you'll kindly back away, we're going up to my room now."

"Oh dear, oh dear, if we had known that you were with the slayer, we would have immediately recommended other accommodations. We're terribly sorry for any inconvenience but we just cannot allow her in the hotel." His speech came halting as he was slowly melting down, the fear showing clearly on his face.

"Then I'm going up to my room, packing my things. You can prepare my bill and eat it. Also call me us a cab and you're paying for that also. Do you understand?" I spoke coldly, brooking no room for argument.

"Of course mam, just as you say and again my deepest apologies for any misunderstanding." He turned and pointed to two of the men standing behind him.

"I'll wait here. If you're not back in twenty minutes, I'm coming after you. What's your room number?" She asked me but speaking to the hotel staff.

Buffy then looked at the manager. "If she is harmed in anyway, and I do mean anyway, you're going to personally experience what I did to your dear founder."

The managers eyes grew round. He turned and selected two women. "Terri, Shawn, you go with them. Make sure nothing goes wrong."

"Let's go, I can't wait to get out of here." I said walking towards the elevator. Stopping and turning back to look at Buffy, "Oh Buffy, will you be OK." I said sweetly.

"Oh dear." The manager exclaimed and after whispering instruction to several of the staff, they took off quickly.

I watch the elevator door close. Helena, god is she gorgeous. She does things to me that I've only dreamed that Willow could make me feel. Where was I? Oh yea, Helena just went up in the elevator and I'm left standing here, got my hip cocked out, hands placed casually, but with purpose. I wanted them scared and by the looks of it, they are. That makes me smile. Oh, their eyes just got big. Think I'll put a little 'I'm about to have fun' behind the smile. Ooohhhh, they're looking at each other like they don't know whether to run or just fall down and curl into tiny balls of quivering flesh. Yea, power can be fun, but in fourteen minutes, fun time is over if she's not back down here completely OK. I don't kill humans, but I don't mind tossing them around a bit if they work for demons.

Ahh, the manager is back. I think he changed his pants. That makes me smile some more. Whoops, I think he's going to need to change his pants again. And it's his own damn fault, if he didn't work at this hotel ala Hades, he wouldn't have any need to be frightened by little old me.

Little old me, Helena thought I'd be taller. Well at least she was adorably sexy as she said it. And her follow up had me melting. In fact, the manager isn't the only one in need of a change of under garments.

Twelve minutes left. I start tapping my foot. The manager looks over at the elevator.

"Oh, by the way. Tell city cab to send Tommy. Be sure to let them know it's me." I kept my voice casual with just enough threat to make him jump.

"Yes, right away. I already called, but I'll call back and make sure they send Tommy, just as you requested." He took off so quick, I nearly missed it.

Shouldn't be much longer he said, and what then? Helena needs a place to stay. Well I've got a house. Three bedrooms. Willow is in one. Dawn is in the other. And then there's my room, the one with the king size bed. Wouldn't be fair to make Helena sleep on the couch after having to give up such a nice room.

I didn't get to see it, but by the looks of the lobby, the rooms must be really nice. Willow has my old room and a queen size bed and Dawn's is even smaller as a double. Guess she'll just have to bunk with me. It's really the most practical solution. Besides, there's so much room she wouldn't even know I was there. Unless she rolled over and maybe gave me a good night kiss and didn't feel like moving away. Mmmmmm, where are her hands? Wait a minute, where are my hands? Where do I want my hands to be? Where do I want her hands to be? And while I'm thinking of hand placement why do I suddenly have this image of my mouth there? Well, I guess because they are pretty scrumptious looking, and having to decide which one first would probably be why I'm right in the middle, torn with indecision.

The elevator dings. My vision refocuses, hadn't realized I'd unfocused. There's this audible sigh that emanates from the hotel staff left to keep me company. Helena steps from the elevator. I try real hard not to stare at her cleavage, that being the focus of my previous thoughts, and force myself to look into her eyes. She's smiling, like she's happy to see me. I smile back 'cause I'm really happy to see her.

I glance quickly at the clock. There were three minutes left. I look back at her and know instantly that if she had been delayed beyond those three extra minutes, I would have pulled the building apart to find her.

"No, not really. I was just contemplating who and how I was going to have to destroy if you weren't back in time. Guess I'll just have to file it away for next time."

"Sorry to spoil your fun. Think they'll give you an opportunity later?" She slowly passed her gaze over the hotel staff standing in abject fear.

"One can only hope." I said as we walked through the wide open lobby door held that way by two of the hotels finest. We were followed out by another carrying her suitcase and one smaller stainless steel case.

I spotted Tommy at the back of his cab, the trunk open with his customary warm greeting.

"She's not the one distressed Tommy, but fair damsel doesn't come close to describing her." I said while winking at Helena. She returned my wink with a big smile and I swear she actually blushed. Her eyes sparkle so, almost as much as Willow's and why am I comparing her to Willow? No, I know perfectly well why and it's not fair to Helena, it's not fair to Willow and it's definitely not fair to me.

After closing the trunk with the luggage safely secured, Tommy held the rear door open as Helena slid across the seat and I followed suit.

I slid my hand onto Helena's thigh as Tommy closed the door and went around to the driver's side. Helena returned the gesture and I didn't even remove my eyes from her face as I introduced her to Tommy.

"Uh, I'd very much like you to stay with me, if you don't mind." I asked very hopefully.

"Sure thing Buffy." And Tommy took off towards my house, the house I shared with my sister and my best friend. A little cold fear hit my stomach as I imagined the coming introductions. But I did something that I'm very good at, I ignored what was to come. I was enjoying the now and I would just handle what was coming when it happened. It was easy as I felt Helena's warm hand gently caressing my thigh. Her fingertips tracing lazy patterns caused my temperature to rise dramatically. I was able to notice what must be a matching expression on her face as she responded to my own ministrations on her inner thigh.

I was nearly ready to give into my desire to kiss her when the cab pulled into the driveway. We both laughed a little and reluctantly withdrew our hands. My leg immediately felt cold for lack of her hand.

I signed Tommy's ride slip, adding a twenty dollar tip. "Let them know if they give you any problems with this, they'll answer to me, OK?"

"I'm sure it'll be fine Buff, thanks for the call. I'll probably have the rest of the night to study." He said setting the bags down on the front porch.

"Good night." We both rejoined. I then turned and opened the door, holding it for Helena as she entered.

After closing the door, Helena set down her bags then looked at me in a questioning way.

"Yea, but first I need to tell you something. We only have three bedrooms and Willow and Dawn each have their own. Since you seemed like you were going to share your room at the hotel with me, I felt you wouldn't mind sharing my room with me. It's a king size bed. I hardly take up any room, you'd hardly know I was there. An……." My rant was stopped with a gentle but firm pressure on my mouth from her very soft mouth. She literally took my breath away.

Pulling back, "Buffy, sharing your room is exactly what I was hoping to do. And as for not knowing you're in the bed, I plan on being as close to you all night as possible. You don't have a problem with that do you?" She practically whispered the last few words. They flowed across my senses, sending delicious shivers down my spine. I threw my arms around her neck and looked her straight in the eyes.

"What do you think." I said suggestively and immediately began to devour her mouth in a deep, passionate kiss. Her arms encircled my waist as she fully responded to my passion. Our hands caressed each other, gently exploring each others curves and flat spaces. The firm and the soft, searching out those particular touches that elicited the small moans of pleasure that were coming more and more frequently from each other. We were totally lost in the feel of each other, oblivious to our location.

"Mmmm, huh" I mumbled as I reluctantly turned my head to see Willow, in a knee length night shirt, staring at us in what can only be described as shock.

"Hey Will. Didn't mean to wake you. You don't look so well. You OK?" I tried to sound casual, but the passion I was currently experiencing and wanting to get back to altered my voice into a husky rasp.

"OK? Well? Uhhhh, Buffy, you were kissing a girl. That is a girl isn't it? I've heard of some cross dressers that are supposed to be really hard to tell from girls, but she is just too damned gorgeous, oh and that cleavage, goddess, she is definitely a girl, uh woman. That is a woman. And Buffy, you're a woman, a straight and narrow, only men, dead or alive, but only men kind of woman and you were kissing her, the other woman in the room, the one you have your arms still wrapped all over, and the hands, Buffy! Your hand is under her shirt, and herrrsss, uh can't really see, CAUSE IT'S IN YOUR PANTS!"

With that final exclamation, Willow collapsed on the stairs, her feet sliding straight out and her night shirt ridding half way up her thighs. Seeing Willow collapse, I released my hold on Helena and just noticed her hand slip from my pants as I rushed to Willow's side.

"Will, you're freaking. Why are you freaking? It's not like you're homophobic. So what's up?"

She just stared at me, her eyes as big as saucers. I remembered when she told me about Tara and how spazzed out I got. I understood what she felt that day, but unlike her, I knew Willow didn't have a problem with girl on girl action. The other alternative I didn't want to contemplate. The other alternative was something that I had already reconciled myself to never happening.

"Uh Buffy, maybe all those hints you gave weren't as obvious as you thought." Helena softly said, having come up beside me.

Willow's gaze switched from my face to Helena's. The shock seemed to be leaving her face. As she now exchanged looking from Helena to me and back again, I could see Willow's mind working, just like I'd seen it thousands of times before.

"Will, it's kinda late. Can't we talk about this in the morning? It's been a long night. And by the way, this is Helena. Helena, this is Willow." I was trying to divert Willow by returning things to something mundane like an introduction.

"Hello. And don't think I don't know what you're trying to do Buffy Anne Summers. It's close enough to morning, so we may as well get an early start. Now, what hints were not as obvious as you thought?" Willow was going into resolve face.

"How could you resist not just grabbing her and kissing that face? I can't think of anything but getting you alone, but looking at that face, it's one hell of a temptation."

"Lot's of practice and lot's of fear enabled me to resist." I had to look at Helena. Willow was way to distracting and I cupped Helena's cheek with my hand and turned her face towards mine. We touched foreheads and momentarily forgot about Willow.

"Wait just one doggone minute. What do you mean that you were resisting the temptation to kiss me?" Oh no, Willow wasn't in shock anymore, and apparently not taking prisoners. I looked back at her.

"Will, what do you want me to say? For years, every chance I got I reached out and held your hand. I ran my hands through your hair, even braiding it. I nearly drooled all over you that first Halloween, calling you a dish as I picked my jaw off the floor. And I lost count of the number of times I've told you that I love you and you rarely acknowledged I said anything let alone responded with anything like I felt for you." The determination was fading from her face, slowly replaced with doubt as she remembered.

"But what about Angel, the love of your life? You even said last year that you've never loved anyone like him. Were you lying?" She tried to dispel some of her doubt.

"I was lying to myself, just like I've done for years. I didn't have the guts to admit to myself or anyone else that I really liked girls. So I threw myself at hopeless situations that could never work. In retrospect, I know I was just trying to keep from coming out to you and losing you forever. But in the back of my mind, I kept thinking that if only you would respond to my subtle passes, that I could then find the courage to admit what I really am. I just couldn't do it alone. Being the Slayer had lost me all my friends in LA. Now I had new friends, who not only didn't care about the slayer thing, they actually wanted to help me. If I just came out and told them I wanted to be with my new friend who just happened to be a girl, I was pretty certain that I would lose you guys as well." I hadn't noticed Helena backing away as I spoke, but I felt the lack of her presence now. I glanced over my shoulder and saw she was moving towards the living room. I gave her a questioning look.

I held out my hand to her. "Helena, I guess you feel like you've walked into the middle of something but you're apart of this, a very important part. Please stay." I said taking her hand.

"Well I guess you don't want me around then." The hurt in Willow's voice was painful.

Still holding Helena's hand I turned back to face Willow. "Will, I will always want you around. I will always want you. But I had come to the conclusion that you never wanted me as anything other than as a friend. When you told me about Tara, it practically killed me. And if I am wrong about how you feel then I do know what you're feeling right now. But Helena is the one I found the courage to be with. She's the one who made me feel special and desirable like I've always wanted to feel. I'm sorry Will, but I need her and I'm not going to deny or hide my feelings anymore. It just gets me in trouble and winds up hurting my friends and loved ones."

I lifted her chin gently, then I kissed her softly on the lips. "I love you Will, but we're going to bed now. We can talk more in the morning. Good night."

The relief on her face was obvious. She picked up her smaller case and followed me up the stairs. Willow had stood and made way for us. As Helena approached Willow, she stopped. "You're as beautiful as Buffy said you were. I really wish we could have met under better circumstances. Good night Willow."

As we started up the stairs again, Willow reached out stopping Helena. "Helena, I don't know if something horrendous or wonderful has happened tonight. I guess only time will tell. I'm jealous as hell right now and damned confused. But I do know I don't hate you." Letting go of the light hold she had on her arm. "Good night. And Buffy, I love you too. Good night." She then turned and went towards the kitchen as we continued our way to my room.

The kitchen is dark as I enter except for the glow from the night light plugged into the outlet next to the sink. I reach automatically for the light switch, placing my finger under the hard plastic extension. I notice how it feels, smooth with slightly rounded edges, enough to feel, but not enough to cut or harm in anyway. I raise my hand, savoring the momentary resistance and then it's gone. Light fills the room and I miss the feel of the switch, the distraction it provided quickly fades.

I stand in place and slowly gaze around the kitchen. I take everything in as if I had just walked into a crypt and am now looking for the coming attack. But there was nothing to attack me here so I guess I'll make coffee.

I focus fully on every step of making coffee. I let the water run cold and clear before I fill the carafe. Carefully, I pour the water into the reservoir, making sure not to spill a drop as if that water was the most valuable and precious thing in the world.

As I complete each task necessary for the making of coffee I finish by gently pushing the small round button and watch the red light come on. Now I sit and wait and watch the coffee drip, listening to the gurgling of the heated water. Wondering at the little pinging sounds as the first drops splatter on the glass bottom.

What sound is my heart making right now. When Tara died, I was too consumed with hate and anger to contemplate the sound of loss. I took her death as a personal affront. Buffy is alive, but somehow I feel that I've lost her also. And what is starting to hurt, is the slow realization that I didn't lose her tonight, I appear to have lost her years ago.

How do you lose something that is always in front of you? You lose it when you don't acknowledge it. In this case 'it' being in love with Buffy. Did I really fail to see her interest all these years? Was I really that blind? And does it matter that she was interested at all? If I loved her, shouldn't I have let her know? Shouldn't I have trusted her enough that even if she couldn't return my feelings, she would remain my friend? But couldn't I say the same for her? Why didn't she tell me? Why didn't she trust me enough?

Oh yea, we were teenagers. In High School and more afraid of how we fit in than we were of the demons we faced on a regular basis. After all, the demons could only kill you. That was nothing compared to the tortures classmates can put you through once you've been identified as being different, especially gay.

Ok, so I understand why Buffy just didn't come out and say how she felt. So what was I doing, thinking, and feeling when she was dropping these hints?

As I focused on the past, my physical surroundings receded from my senses. Time no longer had any hold on me as my memories paraded by. I felt myself as participant and observer to these specters of the past. Buffy hugging me… her face lighting up as I walk into the library… her strong yet gentle fingers running through my hair as we watched a movie… 'I kinda love you' I hear and watch her say… and so many more. I lose track as I critically examine my responses. I would wave and say hi… I watch the movie and never run my fingers through her hair… I would hug her back, but rarely do I initiate… I keep talking over her shy admission like it was nothing, going on how my staying was all about how I wanted to join the fight against evil. Goddess, she believed me. Heck, I believed me. Why would either of us truly believe that I stayed for any other reason than her? Only a complete imbecile or someone so deep in denial they don't know if they're coming or going would believe otherwise. I was slowly coming to a conclusion as the Buffy/Willow parade went by… I was in denial.

But why, I know I loved her… in love with her I was and obviously still am or why would I be torturing myself like this. Only one answer remained as I weighed my options. I was a coward, and not just a normal everyday coward who runs away screaming in fright. No, I was too cowardly to even acknowledge that I was afraid.

What do you do now Willow echo's in my head. All other thought process is drowned out in the reverberations of that one question. Soon it became just one word, my name… Willow.

'Willow, Willow, the memories are gone and there's this indistinct blob that's' slowly coming into focus. I blink my eyes and the blob almost looks familiar. Now there's a pressure on my shoulder. I blink once more and the blob looks like Dawn.

"Willow, come on Willow. Buffy wakes me up last night with sex noises, god knows what guy it is this time. Just hope he's human. And I finally get back to sleep after stuffing my ears with tissue and covering my head with pillows. Now I come down here and your eyes are all glazed and lost and you don't hear me. Please Willow, you're scaring me." The Dawn looking blob pleads with me.

One more blink and I can clearly see Dawn's worried face. Her eyes are all scrunched up, but even though she's worried, she's kept the whine out of her voice. Good girl Dawnie. I guess I'll reward her by saying something.

"Hi Dawn, what are you doing up at this hour." I said as if nothing was wrong, because nothing was wrong. The world wasn't ending. No apocalypse to avert. So why do I feel like I'm dying inside. Oh yea, as Dawn just so eloquently put it, Buffy and sex noises last night. And Dawn thinks it's a guy, but I know different. Yep, definitely different as in a horse of a different color but the horse is now a rainbow.

"Willow, its eight o'clock in the morning. The sun's been up for hours. What are you talking about? Dawns concerned voice further jars me from my reverie.

Eight in the morning? I look out the kitchen window and see trees, sunlight and blue sky. All of a sudden I feel pasty mouthed; my limbs feel like they're weighed down with lead. And I feel like I've been awake all night.

"Whowwww, guess I've been awake all night. Had a lot on my mind." My voice trailed off as what was on my mind came flooding back.

"Does this have to do with Buffy and the guy she brought home?" Her voice was concerned, but heavily laced with curiosity.

"Yes and no. Yes, it has to do with Buffy and who she brought home, but not a guy." I raised my eyebrows in what I hoped was enough of a hint.

"Buffy spent the night having sex with a girl?" Dawn's eyebrows rose in surprise, then curiously reposed into a more thoughtful composure. I became curious as I watched Dawn thoughtfully process this supposedly startling information.

"Dawn, whatcha thinking? You started out looking surprised, but that didn't last very long. Like maybe two seconds. Tell me, why aren't you surprised that your sister, who in the past has only been with men, has just spent the night having wild sex with another woman?" I drawled out slowly, reminding myself how observant the young girl could be.

"Oh, I guess the only surprise I really have is that it's not you she spent the night with." Dawn spoke softly with a clear voice.

'Me? Did she just say she was surprised it wasn't me?' Sharp needle pain above my eyes was the result as my eyes shot open in surprise.

Dawn's eyes looked bemused but quickly displayed something more akin to sympathy.

"Even though I know you're surprised, all I can say is you shouldn't be." Sympathy changed to stronger tones as I saw her rev herself up to lecture me.

"Let's start with who she's been with Willow. Excluding that one night stand she had her first year of college, she's only been with one guy and two vampires. And let's look at the guy. A drug enhanced, secret government commando. Three, count them, three male resemblances. Now let's look at the facts. The first one was a two hundred and forty odd year old, tall, dark, suave and handsome creature of the night and Buffy was sixteen. She didn't stand a chance. And if you ask her, she still claims that Angel was the love of her life. How pathetic. He played a hormone driven teenager into complete stupiddom. And when he figured out no more sex, he latched onto the first opportunity he could to leaver her. And not only does he leave her heart broken, he makes it look like he's being the selfless, caring and noble man who is only doing what's best for her." Shivers travel up my spine as Dawn's emotionally charged words roll across the small distance between us.

"What a crock of bull." Each word was spoken slow and distinctly. Each word was laden with heated intensity. "But she wants to believe it because the truth hurts too much. And the truth is that she is, or at least was so afraid of what she really wanted in a relationship that she kept going after anything that resembled a male but really wasn't." Dawn stopped and caught her breath, her voice had become low and firm, repressed anger seethed with her every word.

"Angel leaving really hurt, because with him she could pretend to be in love with a man but had the best excuse in the world to not have sex. She was able to create this great fantasy but it was doomed, because no guy is going to stay around if there is no sex involved." Dawn's breathe hitched quickly in preparation for the next part. "Now on to Riley, who she only used to give the appearance of a normal relationship, even though nothing could be further from the truth. She used him. She used him as a cover and for sex. Again another doomed relationship. At least with Spike she was finally able to admit that's all she was doing was using him." Dawn's face was now flushed with her anger. It was becoming very apparent that Dawn was harboring strong resentment towards the way her sister had conducted her love life.

Her voice softened and her eyes got a faraway look as she continued. "I remember that she would secretly watch you, and she would only do it when she was certain no one else could see her doing it, but she never noticed me. Afterwards though, she would go all lovey dovey with Riley and after he left, she would just go out and kill a lot of demons. I've been certain for years that Buffy wanted you. But she wouldn't even admit it to herself, so she kept pursuing dead end relationships to hide from her true needs. I would get so mad at her sometimes I could just scream. In fact I think I did several times but she just thought I was being a spoiled brat. But I couldn't ever confront her because when a person is in denial, the only way they get out is by realizing it themselves." Dawn's voice wound down. My eyes had closed and I had dropped my head, no longer able to deal with her words and the emotion on her face simultaneously. I felt warm soft fingers gently cover the back of my hand. Gentle pressure was exerted, and I had a sense of comfort. The warmth from her hand traveled slowly up my arm. I raised my head and opened my eyes once again.

"Willow, she's been in love with you for so long. " Dawn's voice was soft with her need for me to listen as she began to further share her painful insights. "The way she would grab your hand to hold for no reason. She would always make sure she sat next to you on the couch during movie time. The way she would play with your hair. Buffy would do all these things and it wasn't like you ignored them, but you never reciprocated. I just figured that you were totally straight and nothing Buffy could do would get you interested. You can't believe how surprised I was when you came out with Tara. I remember Buffy coming home that night. I heard her talk with mom and then she cried herself to sleep. I was so angry at you for hurting Buffy like that. But then I met Tara and saw how happy you were and just figured that Buffy wasn't your type of girl."

Dawn's eyes pierced my own with these final words. Ice formed in the bottom of my stomach, mixing with acidic heat already there. Heat and cold danced across my flesh as I leaped towards the sink. The cool porcelain feel against my face was the final goading as the bitter flow rushed from my wide open mouth. My body arched and spasmed as vitriolic pools erupted from the core of my being. Soft flesh brushed my cheeks as my hair was gently pulled back. The sound of running water penetrated my final reflexive gagging. Placing my hand beneath the cool flow tempered the flush across my skin. The comfort that splashing the water on my face brought further eased the convulsive nature of my traitorous stomach. I gasped and began to breathe in big, slow motions. Wet comfort expanded from my neck as Dawn placed a wet cloth there, bringing to a conclusion the riotous actions that now left me with limbs of lead and my head filled with cotton.

"Coffee and empty stomachs don't mix too well." I slowly offered in explanation.

"Yea, especially when sweetened with emotional trauma." Dawn's sarcasm was somewhat tempered with a falsely happy lilt.

Thoughts slowly began to reappear in my noggin as I recovered. Unfortunately, none of them were yet of anything approaching coherence. I decided to see how far Dawn's insights could carry me down this path.

"So Dawn, now that you've shown me the error of my ways, what do I do to fix them?" I made sure my tone was serious and watched her face to make sure she didn't think I was being facetious.

Dawn's face smoothed in careful concentration. I could see her weigh her possible reply's carefully.

"That kinda depends, Willow." She paused for a moment then finished her statement with my name for affect.

"Are you in love with her?" Dawn carefully spoke each word. Caressing each syllable with need and curiosity.

I could see doubt and hope mixed into the expression on her face. I had only one answer.

"Yes. I love her and I am in love with her. Always have been, always will." I professed these words to her desperately hoping her next ones would lead to my salvation.

Dawn's mouth slowly curved into a delightfully impish smile. "Then you have to show her. And not just that you love her. She needs to understand why you denied her in the past. She needs to be assured that you won't abandon her in the future."

The sound of multiple feet descending the stairs and the rising volume of voices were like icy fingers trailing up my spine as I locked my eyes with Dawn's.

"This should be fun." Dawn's muttered words were no comfort but she followed up quickly as she caught the fright in my face.

"You can do this Willow. I know she loves you." She said with an encouraging squeeze of my hand.

I looked over as Buffy entered first; her happy face made my heart race and then quickly stops as I considered the probable reason for that exemplary smile. Looking quickly to Dawn, I watched her face carefully as the second party entered the kitchen. Dawn had turned towards the hall as Buffy entered. As Dawn's face registered the appearance of Buffy's companion, my heart turned to ice as I watched the obvious surprise cause her jaw to drop slightly.

"Good morning." Buffy brightly exclaimed. "Dawn, I'd like you to meet Helena. Helena, this is my sister Dawn."

I felt my happy glow slowly melt away as Willow muttered something about needing to take a shower and rush by on her way out of the kitchen. The look on her face was, I'm not sure but I felt something tear around where my heart is. Heart rending, that's the term.

I watched her fast retreating back when I felt a gentle hand caress my shoulder. I turned slowly while trying to mask the confusion I knew was all over my face. I think I wound up with a slightly sad expression but it couldn't be helped right now as I focused on Helena's concerned eyes. They're so deep and soft. I can tell she cares and it makes me melt. I turn fully and put my arms around her and hold tight.

"Buffy, I think you need to talk with her." She says softly while gently stroking the back of my head.

"Yea, I need to talk to her." I acknowledged as I turned my head sideways but not letting myself lose contact from her upper chest. From this vantage I clearly saw my sister sitting quietly. She was so still and her eyes so attentive. I had only recently become aware that my little sister was a master at unobtrusive observation. Even as we locked eyes hers stayed passive, non-threatening and calm. She knew a lot more than she let on and I smiled at her.

Dawn rolled her eyes when she saw that I wasn't going to ignore her like I usually do. I pulled back from Helena and gave her a soft kiss on the mouth.

"Thank you." I told her quietly then fully turned towards Dawn. I walked casually over to where she was sitting on the counter stool and draped my arm across her shoulders.

Dawn stiffened ever so slightly. "Yea, your screaming kept me awake last night. Think you can wear a gag next time?"

"I'll consider it, but I was more interested in what you can tell me about what's going on with the red headed Wiccan who just ran out." I said slowly while turning her head so that I could see her eyes.

"Uh, I don't know what you're talking about." She said nervously while trying to slide off the stool and get away from me.

I slid my arm lower around her waist and held her firmly. She struggled for a moment then huffed as she crossed her arms on the counter top and lowered her head to rest on her crossed forearms.

I leaned down and whispered as earnestly as I could. "Dawn, I love you and I love Willow. I need to talk with her but before I do it would be nice to know what I'm getting into so I don't blow it. You know, like I usually do.

She raised her head and turned to face me. I think she saw how serious I was because her expression turned serious.

"You really mean that? You're not going to go all denial Buffy?" She asked me hopefully.

"Yes, I really mean it. And I'm all past denial, and as you heard last night, I slayed that sucker really good." I said while smiling and casually gesturing to Helena behind me.

Helena must have waved or something because Dawn lifted her hand and gave a little open handed wave over my shoulder.

Dawn looked back at me. She was nibbling on her lower lip while considering what to say. I forced myself to wait.

"I need to ask you the same question I asked Willow." She said slowly then glanced over at Helena.

"But I think we should do this privately." She said this part very softly, almost as a question, but not quite.

I considered Dawn's request about going private. She obviously wanted to say some things that she thought Helena shouldn't hear. But Helena hasn't been anything but wonderful and supportive. I really didn't want to hide anything from her.

I turned around a looked into Helena's eyes. They were so caring with just a bit of worry at the edges. I smiled knowing I was making the right decision.

"I'll just wait in the other room." She spoke quickly thinking I wanted privacy.

Her face broke into a huge grateful smile as she took my hand and came to stand beside me. I returned my attention to Dawn while holding Helena's hand.

Dawn hesitated; I could tell she wasn't comfortable sharing this with a stranger.

"You can trust her." I said while covering her hand with my free one. At the same time I release Helena's hand and slid my arm around her waist.

Dawn looked down at my hand covering hers then up at my face looking for something there. She apparently found what she was looking for.

I pulled Helena tighter to me and replied with the new found confidence she had helped me uncover.

"Yes, always have been, always will." Dawn smiled hugely like I had just said something very amusing.

"That's just what Willow said." She answered my apparently questioning look. My heart soared hearing this and at the same time I felt Helena give me a squeeze of support and a soft kiss on the top of my head.

"Then you need to tell Willow that. You both need to be completely honest with each other about your feelings. No holding back, you need to trust in each others love." Dawn tone was so serious I finally understood that this was important to her also.

"Especially about last night." She finished after a slight pause and glancing at Helena for effect.

"I can do that." I said after a moment's contemplation. I then looked at Helena.

"Are you going to be OK with this?" I asked her concerned that in spite of her encouragements that she would be hurt.

She smiled reassuringly. "Buffy, you have shared something quite wonderful with me. Yourself. I will forever cherish our time." She paused while choosing her next words carefully.

"From the first time you mentioned Willow I knew where your heart truly belonged. And if I can help you find its way and see you happy then I will definitely be OK." Her sincerity touched me so deeply that I had to let her know how much it meant to me. I brought my lips to hers and kissed her softly. I let my lips linger as I tried to convey in that one kiss the love and truth she had awakened within me.

Breaking before the kiss could get too heated as I remembered Dawn sitting right next to us I returned my attention to Dawn. Dawn apparently had watched the kiss. Her eyes were slightly glazed and her cheeks flushed a slight pink.

I wasn't sure of what to make of her appearance but suspected that I had embarrassed her.

"No." She replied somewhat breathlessly. "You didn't embarrass me. That was just… Uh…" Then Dawn's face did show embarrassment as it flushed bright red.

"Is there something you want to tell me, or should tell me?" I asked with a more kindly tone dropping the teasing quality.

"Well I am made from you after all. Just because you've been denial girl doesn't mean I have to be." She mumbled with her head down trying to hide her embarrassment.

"Oh, can I tell her! You go talk to Willow and I'll entertain Helena." Dawn interrupted excitedly.

"Just as long as you keep the entertainment to story telling miss gets hot and bothered watching girls kiss." Then I gave her a big hug to show my appreciation and forestall any further embarrassment on her part.

Helena stood quietly after Buffy kissed her before leaving to have her talk with Willow. I could only see her back but I'm pretty sure she was watching my sister's butt. As I sat quietly I ran over in my head what she had told Buffy and felt relieved that she knew Buffy belonged with Willow. Just hope it's not some clever ploy. If it is, I'm ready, were used to ploys around here, from the clever to the down right stupid.

Helena turned and forced a smile. It was then I knew. She wouldn't stand in Buffy's way to be with Willow as I witnessed the pained expression she was trying to mask.

"Uh yea, happy surprised but surprised." I managed to get the words out after a moments pause.

Her lips pursed in thought for a few seconds. "Because I can't remember anyone making me feel this happy before. It's not easy letting go. But I know it would be even harder later on."

"So you're willing to suffer a little now to avoid the big heart tearing, hole in the chest kinda pain later." I surmised bluntly thinking she was just being practical.

"That's part of it. I don't think your sister has had much happiness in her life and if I thought I could make her happier than Willow I wouldn't stand aside." She paused as her face became slightly sad and she smiled slightly.

"But I'm realistic enough to see that I can't and I want her to be happy." She barely whispered resignedly.

My heart ached as I saw her pain. I got off my stool with the sudden need to hug her. She was warm and soft where our bodies met but her back was firm with smooth muscles under my open hands.

I felt her slowly return the hug and I pulled her more tightly to me as I rested my head on her shoulder.

"You're wonderful. Thank you so much for coming into our lives." I said sincerely and I meant it, every word. I had given up hope that Buffy and Willow would ever find each other but now I was brimming thanks to this beautiful woman's kindness.

"You're… welcome." Her voice hitched in the middle of her reply. I pulled my head back to look at her face. There was a single tear slowly tracing its way down her cheek. I kept my eyes locked with hers as I gently wiped the tear away.

"It's my turn to thank you." Her low voice sent little shivers down my spine and my eyes became focused on her lips. I couldn't stop staring at them as I slowly memorized their shape and fullness. I began to feel warm and tingly all over as images of how we could thank each other began to play in my head.

"You were going to tell me a story." She said nervously. Oh god, I made her uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." I burst out suddenly afraid.

"It's OK Dawn, but I think you should tell me your story now." She said more controlled as she sat on one of the kitchen stools.

Smiling at her gratefully I sat also. "So do you want the complete story or the cliff notes version?"

I had previously heard her moving around, now I couldn't hear anything, not even her breathing.

After a few seconds I called out a bit louder. "Willow, I'd really like to talk…please" I added the please after a few seconds of continued quiet.

Then I heard her move. She was coming towards the door and after a few seconds it opened.

"Hey Buffy. What's up?" Her forced smile didn't fool me. I can tell when she's scared or nervous. Right now she was both.

"Remember last night I said we'd talk in the morning. Well… its morning and I think we should really do the talking thing." I was nervous also and was just trying to get things started.

"It's OK, you don't need to explain anything to me. It's not as if you owe me an explanation. I mean you didn't do anything wrong like cheat, because to cheat you'd have to be in a relationship. And we're not, uh in a relationship because old cowardly lion me didn't let you know that I might want one. Well you wanted one and obviously you have one now, but I didn't realize that you might have wanted one with me. And I did want one with you I just was too dumb to admit mumph…"

Willow was swinging her arms about faster and faster as she babbled. Her eyes were looking everywhere but at me. I decided drastic measures were called for before she ran out of air, so I grasped her face between my hands and kissed her.

Her body was drawn as tight as a bow string belying the softness of her lips. I continued to hold her face as I gently caressed her mouth with mine. Tenderly I caressed until I felt her body relax. When I finally felt her lips part after I began to suck on her lower lip I began to deepen the kiss, slowly entering her warm mouth with my tongue.

I felt her arms wrap around me, gently at first and then with greater strength as we both became more acquainted with each other. As we did I slid my arms around her neck and that's when the passion started. Heat turned to fire that melted my brain and sent my blood coursing like lava through my body. Exquisite aches of desire cried desperately for attention as the rest of the world disappeared leaving only Willow and I existing.

But one small part of my brain was still functioning, damn it. 'Too fast, not yet.' It kept yelling at me until it finally got my attention. I very reluctantly pulled my lips from hers trying to find the means to speak. My breaths were short and fast, my heart pounding at incredible speed. I was actually panting like a dog in heat.

"Talk." I finally managed to gasp between breaths as she was laving my neck with her tongue, sending heated shivers traipsing over my flushed body.

"Oh god Willow. I want you so much but ohhhhhhh… we need to talk." Desire warred with responsibility and responsibility was heavily out gunned right now.

"Ahhhh…" She's nibbling on my ear. "Please Will. Talk to me." I nearly groaned as my runaway body began to grind itself into hers, desperately seeking more contact.

We stood like that as our trembling passions slowed. The aching pressures subsided but didn't disappear.

"We need to talk. Talk about us." More sincere and serious words I had never spoken.

"Us, there's an us?" Her voice sounded like hope bubbling to the surface on a lake of passion. Goosebumps suddenly appeared on my arms.

"Of course there's an us, always has been and always will. But we need to discuss what kind of us it will be." I said gently as I allowed my hand to caress the back of her neck.

"I'm voting for more of the kissing and the other stuff that follows kissing us." She teased while stretching her neck to afford my hand greater access.

"I want that also, but I want more. I want everything, giving and having. All of me for all of you." I spoke the last part directly into her ear and punctuated it with a kiss.

Willow pulled her head back. She positioned herself so that she was staring into my eyes. I could see her eyes searching mine, desperately she searched and when apparently satisfied she smiled.

I felt myself blush as I responded shyly. "Yea, like I told you before. I kinda love you."

"Oh Buffy, I'm so sorry. I was so blind." Her eyes saddened in guilt and misted in regret.

"It's OK, we weren't ready then, but I think we're almost ready now." I consoled her, our eyes never parting.

"Almost? I pretty sure I'm ready right now." She answered with a voice sounding like honey and sex.

I put my hand beneath her chin and raised her head until we were once again eye to eye.

"She came to me for help. I have to help her. I can't ever repay her for what she has done for me so I need to do this." I said hoping Willow would understand.

"For what, teaching you the joys of lesbian sex?" Willow's voice rife with jealousy.

"I'm talking about how she knocked down my walls." I said thoughtfully as an image came to mind.

"You know that bible story about how the guys blew their horns and knocked down these big walls?" I asked her a question to distract her from her jealousy.

"Well I was like Jericho. I had these walls that just wouldn't go away and they were keeping out happiness." I paused to ascertain her reaction. Her eyes were thoughtful so I proceeded hopefully.

"She came along at the right time and said and did the right things. It was like she was blowing this powerful horn and my walls just crumbled. When they did everything just came out. I told her I was in love with you but was convinced that you would never feel that way about me. And then it became clear that just because I couldn't have you didn't mean I had to deny myself the type of affection that I had always craved deep down." Her eyes began to widen in understanding.

"When we got home last night it was like I was on a drug. The weight of denial was finally lifted and I was free." I paused here and my voice became soft and caring.

"I really had no idea that you would care if I was with another woman. But last night I was free and I had to fly. I couldn't get bogged down in what ifs and I know that hurt you." I said with regret.

"But you need to understand that if it wasn't for Helena I wouldn't have kissed you. I wouldn't be telling you that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. And if the idea of that sounds have as wonderful to you as it does to me than you owe her also."

Willow's eyes became wide with understanding and her mouth opened as she uttered a little "Oh".

"When it's done then I want us to start. And I want to do it right. Just like I told you I want everything. I want to take you on dates. Picnics in the park. Romantic walks along the seashore. Cuddles on cold winter mornings. What do you say?" I asked while it felt as if my heart hung above a sword point.

Willow smiled, and it grew and kept growing like the Grinches heart. It was absolutely dazzling. I think I even squinted.

"Uh Will, I have to go to New Gotham. Someone needs to look after Dawn." I said carefully, suspecting I was walking on thin ice.

"You think I'm going to let my girl friend go off to the big city with a beautiful sexy woman all by herself? If you think that, you just better take another think or even three. Besides, it's summer vacation. And that means Summer's get to vacation. We'll take Dawn with us. It has to be safer than the Hell mouth." Her tone didn't leave me room for dispute, especially since I didn't really want to be away from her either.

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