Normality by Magrat

Summary: Buffy's coming home from the hospital.

Joyce smiled at the customer who was taking forever to decide if he wanted to buy the granite sculpture that he had been looking at for the last hour. She strongly suspected he was prevaricating and couldn't afford the hefty price tag. She smiled with relief when her assistant came and informed her there was a personal phone call for her. "Caroline can you take over for me. Excuse me Mr. Richards but Caroline can help you with anything you want."

"Dr. Stevenson, nice to hear from you. Is Buffy okay? When?" Asked Joyce her voice quickened with excitement. "Last week? Why didn't you contact us? I understand you didn't want to get our hopes up again...when can we see her? Take her home, you are kidding? Of course, we want her home, more than anything. When? The day after tomorrow; oh thank you, thank you!" Joyce said a mixture of smiles and tears on her face.

Joyce looked around her kitchen, figuring the extra groceries she would have to buy. It would be so strange having a teenager in the house. Then the thought crossed her mind that Buffy wasn't a teenager any more but a woman in her early twenties who had spent most of the last 7 years in a catatonic state. Suddenly it was starting to feel a bit much. She wished Hank were there but once again he was away on business, she wondered if the girls next door were in. She really enjoyed their company and maybe they could help with what to expect from a girl...no woman in her early twenties.

"Dawn, can you turn the music down, I can't even hear myself think," shouted Tara as she went to answer the door. "Oh M-mrs. S-summers, I'm sorry about the noise. You know Dawn when she comes home from school."

"Tara, how many times do I have I to tell you, please call me Joyce and I haven't come to complain about the noise. In fact I wondered if you would both like to come for dinner? I know you've just come home from work and I sorta guessed that Dawn wouldn't have thought about starting anything," said Joyce smiling.

"Of course not and to be honest I could use the company and I have something exciting to tell you," said Joyce. "I'll tell you what, I'll give you 15 minutes to get Dawn ready, will that be okay?"

"Dawn," roared Tara. "Mrs Summers invited us over for dinner, so do you think you can get yourself down here?"

"Hey," said Dawn from the top of the stairs. "That's cool, she didn't, you know complain about the noise? Did she?"

"No, you're off the hook, this time," said Tara smiling fondly at her little sister. "So do you think you can be ready in 15 minutes?"

Willow sighed as Xander pulled up outside the school in his beat up old truck. "Xand, you're late again, did the truck break down."

"Hey come on, this is the best an apprentice builder can do," said Xander defensively as Willow climbed in. "And how was your day dear?"

"Don't mock me, it was okay but I don't think Penny will speak to me again after Saturday night," said Willow.

"She lacks a sense of humor, you need a girlfriend with a sense of humor," said Xander.

"You and me both," said Xander with mock sympathy. "But I'll tell you what how about we go home eat pizza and ice-cream and watch cable."

Tara and Dawn walked back from Joyce's house; they had never seen their neighbor so excited, even last year when Buffy seemed to be well, there had been no suggestion that she would be coming home. They were looking forward to finally meeting her.

They reached the front door of the house and Tara turned her key in the door, she cocked her head when the alarm didn't go off. "Dawn, we set the alarm before we left, didn't we?"

"Uh-um, yeah" said Dawn still shocked to see the pistol in her sister's hand; despite knowing she carried it.

"Good, go back to Joyce's and call Jitty, tell her to get here as fast as she can, " whispered Tara her voice low and urgent.

Dawn reluctantly ran from her sister, pulling her cell phone out and dialing the number she had been ordered to.

Tara crept through her house, her heart pounding, the gun wavering in her hand. She heard a small noise from the kitchen and quietly headed towards it. She could feel the cold sweat pouring down her neck. She threw open the kitchen door and tried to put on some attitude. "P-put your h-hands where I can see them...Oh for god's sake Will what are you doing in my fridge?"

"Is that how you greet all your friends? Jesus, Tara you almost gave me a heart attack," said the young bleach-blonde English man, dressed all in black, his long leather coat reaching to the floor.

Tara's knees sagged slightly with relief. "William, you freak, what are you doing in my house?"

"But why are you here, doesn't your uncle feed you and anyway I thought you had a date?" asked Tara

"I did, but, he stood me up for a night at the gym, shame he really had the tightest pair of buns..."

Will gave Tara a calculating look. "Why are you walking about with a gun in your hand and where's Dawn?"

Tara looked panicked and pulled out her cell phone. "Dawn, hey, it's okay, it was only Will, could you apologize to Joyce and come home? I'll see you in few Sweetie."

"You still haven't answered my question, why the gun, what's going on love?" Asked the young man.

"Hey, I know it's bad if you start to stutter, c'mon Tara tell me, I'm supposed to be your best friend," said Will.

"I'll kill the bastard," said Will, his blue eyes hardening into cold sapphires. "Have you told Jitty?"

"Isn't it her job?" he objected and then stopped talking as he heard Dawn enter the house. "Hey, shortie."

They all looked round as they heard the sound of brakes screeching outside. "Oh god, I forgot to call Jitty back," said Tara and then looking at Will. "She is going to be so pissed with you."

Tara opened the door to a small Indian woman in her mid thirties, dressed in a cream linen trouser suit, with a crisp white silk shirt. Her shiny black hair was cut short, pixie style, into her face. "Okay so no one's dead, what's happened?"

Jitty walked into the house. "Hey Dawnie, how's my favorite chess partner, still leading with your knight?"

"Dawn, I don't mean to be rude, but I think I need to talk to your sister for a few moments."

Dawn shrugged and made for the stairs. "Okay, I have some homework to do anyway. You'll say goodbye before you leave, right?"

"Of course," said Jitty and then waited until the teenager had gone before turning with a more serious face to Tara. "Spill, what the hell is going on, your sister phones me to say you have gone into the house with a gun in your hand. Do you know how dangerous that is? Why didn't you phone the police? I was about to phone them myself, when Joyce reached me and said that apparently everything was okay. "

"She thought it was that bastard, brother of hers," said Will walking in from the kitchen.

Jitty kept her eyes on Tara and snapped out at her. "And you thought this, why?"

"He's b-been s-sending me letters again," said Tara her chin down not meeting Jitty's eyes.

"And you never mentioned it to me or brought the letters to me, why?" Asked the smaller woman bristling with barely concealed anger.

Jitty put her hand on Tara's arm and guided her through to the living room and sat her on the couch. Jitty sat on the edge of the chair opposite, holding onto to Tara's hand. "You never bother me Tara, except when you keep things from me. You know what happened the last time he turned up and I don't want to have Dawn and I visiting you in the hospital again."

"I won't let him lay a finger on me again or go near Dawn, I'd kill him first," said Tara through gritted teeth.

"No," said Jitty. "I gave you the gun to make sure you are protected, if you carry on with that attitude I'll make sure your license is revoked, do you understand me? Think of Dawn, your Mom wanted you to look after her; it's not worth throwing away everything you've achieved on that bastard. I'll deal with him. It's my job. Do you still have the letters?"

"Okay, can you find them for me and I'll have a word with his and your Dad's attorney, remind them about the restraining order we have on him. Tara when anything happens like this you must tell me. I know you are independent, but I'm not just your attorney, I'm your friend too."

"Oh Honey, handle things? All the things you've done since you were 18, look after your sister, get your degree, hold down a job and run a house. You've done amazing but remember you have people you can turn to, even him," said Jitty motioning towards Will.

Jitty waited until Tara had left. "Will, can you crash here, say for a few weeks, just tell Tara you've had a fight with your uncle or something. I don't want her left on her own and you pass for a man, well...technically."

"Hey, didn't they teach you manners at law school," said Will bristling slightly and then relenting. "Yeah, I'll stay, the grub's better here anyway."

"Don't worry kiddo," said Jitty. "You saved me from listening to my Mom going on about my brother's wedding all night. You and Dawn are still coming and saving me from a million relatives I don't know?"

"No, but I don't suppose that will stop you from turning up, just try not to seduce the best man," said Jitty with just a hint of threat. I'm just going to go say goodbye to Dawn and then head home. Are we still on for Friday night?"

Jitty gave him a dirty look and then gave Tara hug. "I'll see you Friday. I'll phone you when I've spoken to their attorney." She headed up the stairs to Dawn.

Willow sat curled up on the sofa, ice cream in hand watching TV in a comfortable silence with Xander. They had been friends for so long that they could just sit and chill out.

They both jumped as the front door of their apartment was slammed shut and Fred stormed into the room flinging her books into the corner of the room.

Willow looked at Xander raising her eyebrows. " So the tutoring sessions with the Dowling's haven't improved then.

"I quit," said Fred dolefully. "I told their Mom where she could stick her jobs before I murdered her brats." She flopped down on the sofa by Willow and took the ice cream from her. "I'm gonna have to put my name back down with the University to get another tutoring job."

"Take your time," said Xander. "We can cover your share of the rent for a while, right Will?"

"You guys are so sweet," said Fred smiling. "But I've saved some money up, so I'm good for now."

Joyce knocked on Tara's kitchen door. She smiled warmly at the young man who opened it. "Hi, William, is Tara around?"

"No, she's taken Dawn to her football…" He stopped seeing Joyce's puzzled look. "Soccer game."

"Can you give her a message? Buffy is coming home today and if everything goes okay I wanted to invite her and Dawn to lunch tomorrow, "said Joyce and then with a hint of panic. "I thought it would be nice for Buffy to meet new people, unless that's wrong; do you think it could be wrong?"

Will ushered Joyce into the house, seeing that the woman was on the verge of hysterics. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Tara will be back soon, if you want to talk to her," said Will. "I know she is better at the whole listening thing than me."

Any pretence of a smile that Joyce had dropped; it was something that had worried her for a while but was now being brought into a sharper focus knowing Buffy was coming home. She felt her young neighbour was old before her time. Tara worked hard, looked after Dawn and that was about it. Joyce felt this girl barely out of her teens deserved more in her life.

"Oh, you mean she needs a nice woman…" Will slapped his hand over his mouth much to Joyce's amusement.

"I know, you know," said Joyce, with a slight smile that quickly faded. "I was at the trial; remember?"

Over the last couple of days since she knew Buffy was coming home, she had thought a lot about the two girls next door who allowed her at least to be "Mom" to someone. She wondered if the nightmares about the incident five years ago that had led them to being so close would ever stop?

Joyce's new neighbors had puzzled her. They seemed too young to be living on their own but there was no sign of any parental figure. She had tried to start a couple of conversations with the older one, but the blonde always looked so terrified, stuttering a couple of words before practically running for the house. The girls had been there about 3 months and she was almost at the point of giving up on them, when one afternoon having come home early from the gallery; she heard a series of screams and bangs coming from next door.

She had run over to the house, to be shouldered out of the way by a rough looking young man with a wispy beard. He pushed past her, jumped into a truck and sped away. She walked slowly to the house, not sure of what sort of situation she was getting into. The front door hung open, she still knocked before looking into the hallway and seeing the sight that tore her heart. Tara was lying unconscious in the middle of the hall beaten to a pulp. She got down on her knees and checked Tara's vitals. Her breathing was shallow but her pulse was strong. Joyce called 911.

Joyce learned that the young man who had broken Tara's jaw, nose and four of her ribs was in fact Tara and Dawn's older brother Donnie. She remembered at the trial how he and their father had tried to tarnish Tara's name. Saying Donnie had been driven to it because he was so worried about Dawn moral upbringing being brought up by a dyke witch. It had seemed the jury might be swayed by their prejudices until she had stood up and gave her description of what had happened in a cool, clear way. Donnie was found guilty of assault and battery as part of a hate crime and given 6 years.

It had amazed her how the Maclay girls had matured into such lovely young women giving no apparent signs of the violence that had marred their lives. She was snapped back to the here and now by the sound of Will's voice.

"I remember." His blue eyes clouded with anger at the memory. He loved Tara deeply. They had been best friends since starting at the university together; both of them being outsiders, they had drawn on one another for strength. They could bitch with each other but their relationship was tight. He cleared his throat. "I thought Buffy was coming home a couple of days ago?"

"I know but after talking with the doctors, they thought I might need a couple of days to prepare," shrugged Joyce. "I tried to tell them that I have been waiting almost seven years for her to come home; I'm more than prepared."

Will closed his hand over Joyce's; he had noticed the tremor in her voice. "It'll be okay."

"I hope so," said Joyce weakly. "I really do, you'll tell Tara about tomorrow? You're welcome to come too if you want."

"What and scare her off completely? Nah, I think Tara and Dawn are probably enough for her in one go."

This felt so weird to Buffy; she was going home to her Mom. A mom who she had convinced herself was dead, along with so many other people; people she had never even met.

She had seen Sunnydale swallowed into the Hellmouth. She had smiled and woken up. Maybe that's what had to happen. She had to destroy the whole place in her mind to be free of the madness that had over taken her.

Buffy had been awake for three weeks now and she had been thinking a lot. She needed to get her real life back on track. So much must have changed in the seven years she had been catatonic for. She would have no friends, no qualifications, nothing but Buffy didn't feel downhearted. She was determined to make up for lost time. She just hoped it would be enough to start building a new life, but at least she had her Mom back.

Willow and Fred relaxed in their favorite coffee shop Jen's Java, a couple of blocks down from their apartment. They liked to walk down and just hang out there plus the boss never kicked them out for making a latte last all morning.

"No, they didn't know of anyone who was looking for a tutor either," sighed Fred. "I should have controlled my temper better."

"Controlled your temper. Jeez, Fred I remember when one of those brats put gum in your hair. They were just monsters, how you put up with them for over a year I don't know."

Willow suddenly had the feeling that she had lost Fred's attention as she started to stare over the redhead's shoulder.

Willow rolled her eyes and almost jumped as Fred took her hand and started to sensuously stroke her thumb over the back of it.

"That's pathetic. I know you two aren't together," said a truculent voice from behind Willow.

Willow didn't even turn to look. "Hi, Penny and you know maybe I've persuaded Fred to try something different." She winked at her friend.

A tall shapely woman with long brown hair, brooding dark eyes, sharp cheekbones and full sensuous lips came into view. Willow remembered wanting her so much, but that had been so long ago. The woman's possessive streak, uncertain temper and at times bizarre behavior had quickly changed the redhead's mind.

"Do you think I'm stupid? I know you are just trying to make me jealous," said Penny her dark eyes flashing.

Willow met her anger full tilt with an explosion of her own. "Make you jealous? I could do that by looking the wrong way at women on T.V. I told you I wanted us to just be friends, but now I want you out of my life. Period."

Fred gave a sigh of relief as Penny turned and ran from the shop. "She scares me."

"You shoulda tried dating her, now that was scary," said Willow joking but with enough clouds in her green eyes to let Fred know that there was more than a grain of truth in her statement.

"Hey, there's Xander," said Fred her eyes shinning with delight as she saw the handsome young black man who had entered with him. "You didn't say Charles was with him today."

Willow gave Fred a knowing smile. "Charles? Oh you mean Gunn. Yeah, he and Xander are going bowling later. Why don't you ask him out? I know you want to."

Fred shook her head vigorously. There was no way she was taking that drastic course of action.

Xander and Gunn collected their coffees and joined them. Xander squeezed in next to Fred and Gunn by Willow.

"Hey," said Gunn. "How would you two beautiful ladies like to take my friend and me on at a little 10 pin bowling, local alley with all the sweaty feet smell you can spare. Remember this could be a once in a lifetime offer, so what do ya say?"

Willow laughed. "Well you've made it sound just too tempting, but can your male pride take being beaten by us again?"

"It can, but no money on it, you two cleaned me out the last time," said Xander dolefully.

Everybody started to laugh and the two you men quickly finished their coffee. As they went to leave Fred straggled a little behind, pulling Xander's arm to slow him down too.

"Xander, Penny turned up again. I'm worried, she's been following Willow around the campus and some nights she has followed her home."

"You know Will, she doesn't like to make a fuss, but I think it's got her worried."

"Do you want me to warn Penny to back off?" Asked Xander, all trace of his usual happy go lucky nature gone.

"No…no it might make it worse" said Fred. "But I think we should keep an eye on Willow, make sure she's safe."

Sunday morning dawned sunny and cloudless, another beautiful California day. Dawn was in the backyard kicking a soccer ball around dressed in the Manchester United shirt that Will had bought back with him on his last trip to England. He had even had the name of her favorite player Ole Gunner Solskjaer printed on the back. She kept up an imaginary commentary as she played. "Giggs crosses, Solskjaer heads on to Van Nistlerooy who scores!!! Or kicks it over the fence to next door; damn."

Dawn grabbed a chair and used it to vault over the yard fence. She quickly spotted the ball when she heard a voice.

Dawn turned to face a small blonde woman who sat on a garden chair, a book at her side.

"Hey, you must be Buffy. It's nice to finally meet you," said the teenager giving Buffy a friendly smile as she picked up her ball and threw it back over the fence. "You didn't see me climb over the fence. My sister and your Mom keep telling me to walk around or that I'll hurt myself."

"Don't worry," said Buffy, doing her best to respond even though her mind was in turmoil. "Your secret's safe with me."

Dawn flashed another smile as she shinned up a tree and used one of its branches to swing back over into her own yard; she did it with such ease and grace it was obviously something she had done many times.

Buffy put her head in her hands and wondered if her mind was slipping again. She couldn't believe what she had obviously seen.

Joyce looked up from the vegetables she was preparing as Buffy walked into the kitchen. "Morning Sweetie, you were up early?"

"I wanted to enjoy the sunshine. It was nice just being outside. Hmm do you need a hand with anything?" Asked Buffy.

"No, everything is just about done. You don't mind that I asked the girls from next door?" Asked Joyce.

Buffy shook her head but she could feel the worry worming in the back of her brain.

"You know you don't have to mother everyone. I can manage. Just go have a nice afternoon and meet with the nutty neighbor."

"I know it's more fun being wicked and shocking you." William went to the fridge and handed Tara a bottle of wine. "You're forgetting something."

"Tar, you don't have to worry about every little thing she hasn't been in re-hab, so just treat it as a normal meal," said William pushing her out of the kitchen.

"Buffy, this is Tara and Dawn," said Hank before walking to the kitchen for a corkscrew.

Tara smiled at the tiny, frail looking young woman who was staring at her in a very un-nerving way. "H-hi."

Buffy couldn't believe it. She couldn't stop staring at the woman in front of her. The last time she had seen that beautiful face it had been lifeless on her bedroom floor. Buffy had to hold back on her fist instinct, which was to hug Tara. She gripped the edge of the table, sure the blanket of madness was enveloping her mind once more, and then suddenly everything shifted back to as Joyce came in with the food and Dawn's exuberance took over as she started to talk about her week at school and her soccer game that weekend.

The frail blonde said nothing as she ate; she tried to look at Dawn and Tara without openly staring at them. She looked at Tara's long ash blonde hair, blue eyes and the same quirky smile that she remembered. One thing Buffy didn't remember was Dawn resembling Tara so much but apart from Dawn's darker hair they were so alike. Why hadn't she noticed it before? Or maybe reasoned Buffy, it had never been there in the first place.

Buffy had no idea how she made it to the end of the meal, but as soon as she was done she stood up. "Tara, Dawn, it was nice to meet you both, but I'm tired, do you mind if I go lie down?"

"Of course not," said Tara and then was surprised as Buffy hugged her and then Dawn, before leaving the room.

It's f-fine. It must be weird for her," said Tara as brightly as she could manage.

"Do you want to sit in the garden or do you need to go home?" Asked Joyce as they rest of the party finished their lunch.

"Dawn has home work to do and I have a couple of designs I am working on, but nothing that can't be off for an hour or so," Tara added the last part after she saw Dawn's face fall.

Joyce felt torn, pleased Tara and Dawn were staying but worried about her daughter. She followed the girls out to the garden and gratefully accepted a glass of white wine from her husband; she sipped at it for a few moments, not really taking in the conversation buzzing around her. She then stood up abruptly. "I'm going to check on Buffy."

"Hi," said Joyce, now feeling stupid about her sense of dread, seeing her totally lucid daughter. "Are…we're in the garden if you want to join us. We have nice wine and homemade lemonade."

"Not at first, it took me a while to get to know them, but I did; why?" Asked Joyce, her curiosity peaked.

"It proves your visits were good then, Mom, because I feel like I know them," admitted Buffy, but in her head she was rejoicing. Tara and Dawn hadn't been in her fantasy world from beginning and she figured her mother talking about them had eventually led to her incorporating them into her other world. It was a relief to Buffy that she was able to figure this out.

"That's good dear," said Joyce, sitting on the corner of the bed. "You know I used to spend hours at your bedside to talking to you. I was never sure if it did any good." Joyce felt pleased, like another connection had been made between them.

This Buffy decided was the hardest part; when she had entered the garden she had been rewarded with one of Tara's cute little half smiles. It was hard to believe that was something she had imagined or picked up from her Mother but Buffy quickly put it to the back of her mind.

Dawn full of excitement and curiosity asked a question that the adults would have refrained from. "So what are you going to do now, you know with your future and everything?"

"No, it's okay," said Buffy, giving Dawn a warm smile. "We've been talking about it. I am going to help Mom in the gallery. I'm going to community college to get my diploma and Mom said we might get a tutor."

Try one of the Universities. They usually have a list of students who do some tutoring," said Tara.

"That's an idea, I wasn't quite sure how to go about it," admitted Joyce. "Thank you Tara."

Goodbyes were exchanged and Dawn and Tara walked around the fence to their house.

Fred came running up to Willow and grabbed hold of her friend at the same time holding on to her own chest in an attempt to catch her breath.

"Let me guess Professor Stevenson has spontaneously combusted in Chem. lab and all science classes have been cancelled for the next year."

"Nope, even better and I thought you liked Professor Stevenson, anyway no matter, I have a new job," said Fred.

"Fred, you know you didn't have to, it would have been okay. I don't want you to be unhappy with some screaming brats again," said Willow.

Fred grinned. "Well, that is the beauty of it, no brats, she is a grown up student and her mother owns an art gallery uptown. Nothing could work out better."

"Oh, that's awful, the poor girl. Did her mom say what had happened?" Probed Willow, still worried about her friend's well being.

"Not really, but I was thinking it must be so hard for her, all her friends must have grown up and she is at home with her parents for the first time in years. She must be lonely." Fred's eyes closed for a second; trying to imagine the pain they all must have gone through.

"Tomorrow night. I'm not sure what she needs so I thought it would be best if we just talked and I got to know her before I design a program," said Fred.

"I wonder what she'll be like," said Buffy before hauling herself onto the counter of her Mother's gallery.

"Who Sweetie?" Asked Joyce, looking distracted as she opened another crate of artifacts that had just arrived. "I'm not sure this sculptor is really neo-primitive but just pushing her luck."

"The tutor is what Dear?" Asked Joyce, now looking slightly dusty and quite a bit puzzled.

"Mom, are you listening to me at all? I was just wondering what she would be like."

"She seemed nice on the phone and by all accounts she is a genius at math and physics and I know that isn't the kind of person you used to hang with in high school but she did seem really nice," babbled Joyce.

Buffy thought for a moment remembering her friendship with Willow, even if it was imaginary it was still deeper in her own mind than any of her vacuous friendships before her illness. "I'm sure she's cool."

Xander pulled up outside the house in a nice suburban neighborhood. "You know this looks a bit Edward Scissorhand's are you sure you don't want me to wait for you?"

"Maybe, but I just want to make sure you're safe. What time do you finish?" Asked Xander.

"I don't know. I'll call you when I have some sort of idea, you don't have to do this Xander, I could take bus home," said Fred.

"You could but you are not going to. Now, go on and get going, don't you have a student to teach?" teased Xander.

The first lesson between Fred and Buffy went well and they agreed on a schedule where Fred would tutor Buffy twice a week. Over the next few weeks Fred saw that Buffy was learning at a huge speed but was also finding that the young woman still wasn't opening up to her very much. Fred tried to draw her out but to no avail.

One evening Buffy wasn't her usual attentive self and seemed to be somewhere else. She sat at the desk staring blankly at her laptop, threading her pencil between her fingers.

"Is anything wrong Buffy?" asked Fred having tried to get the blonde's attention for about the fourth time. "You seem…elsewhere?"

"It's nothing…actually it is something. I start school next week and I feel kinda nervous about it, meeting all those people," Buffy gave a little involuntary shiver. "I'm not used to…people I suppose, plus meeting new ones…"

"Well, you'll be fine with the work," said Fred trying to be reassuring. "But I can't help you with the whole people thing." She stopped and thought for a moment. "Or maybe I can."

"How? Are you going to give me a crash course on social graces and people skills?" Asked Buffy.

"Sort of," said Fred. "I'm going to the movies and then a local coffee shop with my roommates and a friend; why don't you come with us?"

Buffy seemed to shrink visibly in her chair and shook her head vigorously. "No, I couldn't, really, I couldn't."

Fred reached over and squeezed Buffy's hand. "No pressure, Sweetie. I thought that it might have been an easier way for you to get used to people without any added stuff going on."

"Buffy, it's only the movies. But, ya know its no big deal, let's forget I even asked. I'm just sorry I upset you, I didn't mean to," said Fred, her tone soothing.

They tried to continue the lesson but neither was really in the mood for it now.

"Buffy I think we should call it a day," said Fred, as they tried to battle their way through the first act of Macbeth with little success.

"Okay, 7:30 next Tuesday," said Fred, with a slight question in her Texan drawl, she had a feeling that she might have blown it with Buffy.

"That'll be great," answered Buffy. "Fred if I come with you, can I… uhm bring a friend?"

"No, the woman next-door. She is really nice and she is her sister's guardian and she doesn't get out that much. My Mom probably wouldn't mind if Dawn, her sister, hung out here" said Buffy.

Yeah, see you Friday then," said Buffy, breathing heavily as she felt nerves start to set in already.

"Dawn can you answer the door?" shouted Tara, who was trying to catch up with some work around the house, dusting and vacuuming. When she heard no movement and no sound from upstairs, she threw her duster down and went to the door. "Will, if you have forgo…B-buffy hi," said Tara.

"Hi, a…and Will…you live with Will, ah someone called Will?" Asked Buffy, not quite sure what to think.

"Not really he's just a friend who treats this place like a hotel, but less about him. I'm being rude do you want to come in?" asked Tara.

"It's okay, you look a little harassed. I only came by to ask you if you want to come out with me on Friday. My tutor asked me if I wanted to go out with her and her friends and I wasn't sure and you really don't have to come…but Mom said Dawn could hang out at our place and I would really like…"

Tara watched with an amused look on her face as the Buffy slowly started to wind down. "If you are sure your Mom doesn't mind, then I would love to get out. So where we going and what are we doing?"

"It's nothing special, the movies and coffee. They said to meet them at Jen's Java's at 8. Is that okay?" asked Buffy.

As Friday evening approached Buffy began to regret her rash decision to go out with Fred. She knew she had to get back into real life and that meant socializing as well as studying and school. So far her contact had been limited to her family, Caroline from her Mom's gallery, Tara, Dawn and of course Fred.

"Nothing to it," said Buffy with a sigh as she went into the bathroom to take a shower.

Chaos reigned in the apartment shared by Willow, Xander and Fred. The two girls were in various stages of dressing and Xander was butting in and trying to question Fred at every turn.

"Xander, go away," said Fred, as she pulled her jeans on. "And you better not try and hit on my student."

"What about her friend?" Asked Xander hopefully. Only to be answered by a barrage of pillows and anything else that Fred and Willow could find.

"I know but he'll behave when he meets them," said Willow and then with a sly grin on her face. "But he does raise an interesting point, what is her friend like; enquiring minds want to know?"

Fred shook her head and waved her finger at Willow. "Do I have to warn you too?"

They both started to giggle and it was a few moments before Willow managed to get her breath back. "But on a serious note; how should we handle this? You said Buffy is pretty nervous around new people."

"Yeah, she is, so I think it's best if we act as we would normally and not make too much of a fuss around her," said Fred. "I haven't met her neighbor but Buffy said she's about our age and is guardian to her little sister. I suppose they must have lost their parents."

"Well, let's show them both a good time, it sounds like they could use it," said Willow. "Do you want to stick close to Buffy and I'll talk to her friend?"

"Maybe we should play it by ear; see how things work out. I don't want Buffy to feel pressured in any way," answered Fred.

"Okay, make-up is great, jeans fine, not sure about the shirt, but it'll do and the boots are fab. Pity they won't fit me," said Will, putting on a melancholy air.

Tara inspected herself in the mirror, she felt strangely nervous about the evening. She usually spent her free time within her small circle of friends and it had been awhile since had gone out with anyone new. William was not helping the situation by fussing over her. "It's not a date, you know."

"But you never know who you might meet tonight; that special woman could walk into the coffee shop," said Will, giving her a hug. "Have a great evening and Sweetie don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"Is that even possible?" Asked Tara, raising her eyebrow. "What time are you meeting your uncle?"

"Damn," said Will, checking his watch. "I had better go, or he'll think I've stood him up." He kissed Tara on the top of the head. "Are you sure you don't need me to sit for Dawn?"

Tara held up her hands. "I can't let her live in fear. She's 15, she has to live some sort of normal life or everything we've been though would be pointless. She knows to keep the house locked up and if anything does happen she knows to phone Joyce, Jitty and the police if needed."

William took in the pain that could be read all too easily on Tara's expressive face. "You need to live too. Have good time and I'll talk to you tomorrow,"

Tara pulled up not far from the entrance of the coffee shop. "Buffy, are you sure you want to do this? You look pale and you're making me look talkative."

"I have to do this. If I can't I'm never going to survive college and I will survive." Buffy jutted her chin out and took a deep breath. "Okay I'm ready."

Tara found her own nervousness dissolving in the face of Buffy's determination. "Let's go."

The coffee shop was doing a brisk early evening trade and it took Buffy a few moments to locate Fred. "They're over there." Buffy pointed to a large booth in the far corner.

A tall black man sprung to his feet. "Hello, and may I get you two ladies a coffee?"

"It's okay I'll g-get them," said Tara, cursing inwardly at the way her tongue always tripped her up.

Buffy thought for a moment that she was going to faint. There were no doubts that the person who was smiling at her was Alexander Harris. Her mind was whirling so fast she almost missed Fred introduce Willow. Buffy had thought that nothing could be worse than that lunch when she had first met Tara and Dawn, but this was so much worse. She had no glib excuse for Xander and Willow's appearance in her life; no reason to suppose these people who she had now met by chance had any connection with her mother. Buffy was sure she wasn't hallucinating, she knew she was still in L.A, sitting in a coffee shop with Fred next to her and Tara across from her. This wasn't their Sunnydale and there were no vampires. She repeated this sentence in her head; like a mantra, breathing deeply and attempting to ground herself. Buffy realized that she still had to introduce Tara. She took a deep breath desperately trying to hold herself together and stop her voice from shaking. "This is my friend, Tara."

"So what do you do Tara?" Asked Xander, he thought both the blondes were attractive and decided that a little flirting could be fun.

"I uhm, I'm a designer's assistant," said Tara, blushing slightly as all heads turned to look at her.

Tara smiled at the woman with the fiery red hair and mischievous green eyes. "Interiors."

" Yes, after all it pays the bills plus my boss is really nice," answered Tara, pleased that she had managed to talk the cute woman without stammering over her words.

"Cool," said Xander. "And now for the most important question, is there a man in your life?"

Tara shifted uncomfortably in her chair, starting not to enjoy being the center of attention.

"I have to apologize for my friend," said Willow smoothly. "He likes to insert his foot in his mouth when ever possible."

Buffy was glad that no-one was paying any attention to her and she was able to observe all that was happening and try to calm her nerves without anyone seeming to notice how freaked she felt.

They all nodded and put on their jackets. The movie theater was only a block from the coffee shop.

Willow walked next to Tara. "Are you sure you're okay? He doesn't mean anything, he's just a bit of a doofus."

Willow sighed, feeling a little tingle of disappointment. "He's single if you want to…"

"N-no," said Tara, and then quickly in case she had seemed rude. "He is sweet but…just not really my type."

Tara had an impish moment where she almost responded that she liked redheads, but she couldn't. There were times when she wished she could be like William who was open and proud about his sexuality, but she still felt the weight of disapproval that had been her legacy from her father. The blonde changed the subject. "I heard "Bend it Like Beckham" is really good. My sister loves soccer and she is dying to see it."

"Oh yeah," said Willow. "Lots of women running around in shorts…" she stopped and blushed realizing she wasn't talking with one of her usual group of friends.

Tara turned and gave Willow a spine tingling smile that made her blush even deeper. "Funny I thought the same thing too."

"Ah-huh," said Willow, who was curled up on the sofa in her jammies, snuggling a pillow to her chest.

"Will, Xander and Gunn were frenching all the way through the movie," shouted Fred from the kitchen.

Fred walked back in with two steaming mugs of chocolate. "And then me and Buffy swapped bras."

"Earth calling Willow, where are you?" Asked Fred, as she handed Willow her cup. "Let me guess somewhere with a certain blonde assistant designer."

"Sweet! You walked all the way together and then sat together through the movie and walked her to the car…"

"That's not fair; Xander was with me while you and Gunn fetched his truck. It was hardly a romantic moonlight stroll…"

"But you wanted one," laughed Fred, who ducked as Willow's pillow came spinning towards her. "Hmm I seem to have a struck a chord."

"No, she isn't Penny and yes, she is gay, but I don't think I'm ready and she has responsibilities, so she probably isn't looking for someone and what if she doesn't find me attractive?"

"Nice, doesn't do it, lots of people are nice," said Fred. "Dogs are nice, horses…" She watched Willow give a little involuntary shudder. "Okay maybe not for you, but you get my point. I noticed you couldn't keep your eyes off her"

"Fred, please leave it," said Willow. "I'll probably never see her again anyway."

"Oh come on Will, I teach her next door neighbor for goodness sake. It's hardly like someone you met at a bar," said Fred. "Plus, I have her business card or rather her boss's; Richmond Designs."

"How did you…it doesn't matter and really women are the last thing on my mind at the moment, after Penny," said Willow.

"Willow, how many times have I got to say this, there is no way in hell that Tara is like Penny," declared Fred.

"I know Fred, but really, having the ex-girlfriend from hell kinda makes a girl skittish," said Willow and then smiling shyly at Fred. "So…do you think she likes me?"

"Hello, Richmond Designs," said Holly Richmond, surprised by a call coming through to her direct line. "Hi Mr O'Hara is everything…Oh I, okay, there must have been some sort of misunderstanding…Yes, I understand your disappointment, but I'll make sure you have everything in an hour…no problem, oh yes, you can never trust couriers. He must have picked up the wrong bag…Yep, I'll send Tara; she'll be there as soon as she can. Sorry again for any inconvenience."

Holly brushed a little of the soft brown hair that had escaped from her ponytail out of her eyes. She was dressed casually in jeans and a pale shirt, she looked good for her 45 years and held a slight tan from the time spent out supporting her 3 sons in their many sporting endeavors. She walked from her own private office into the main

drawing room that her assistant and her secretary shared and where she usually spent the majority of her own working day.

"Tara, what did you do with the fabric samples for the O'Hara job?" Asked Holly.

"Holly, I'm s-so sorry," said Tara, picking up some material from the desk. "I must have forgotten."

"Where is your head today Honey? It's okay anyway; I managed to convince him that it was all the courier's fault. So, you owe Bob the next time you see him and he's been abused by our customers," said Holly, with a wink. "Oh and I told Mr. O'Hara that you would drive the samples over to him."

"No, I told him you'd be right over," said Holly. "Tara, are you okay? You've worked with me for almost a year and I've never known you to forget anything I've asked you to do before."

"It's not that…" Holly paused while she thought of the right words to carry on. She knew her young assistant was a very private person and she didn't want to offend her. "Jitty rang me a couple of weeks ago. She told me that your brother has been pestering you again…he hasn't been…"

"No, no," said Tara quickly. "I have had a few things on my mind but Donnie wasn't one of them. I'd better go; I don't want to let Mr. O'Hara down again."

"Okay," said Holly, settling down in front of one of the sketches they had been working on. She picked up a pencil and started to rap it against her teeth as she thought of a few more things they could add that would catch the client's eye.

Willow was talking to herself as she stood in line at Starbucks. "Hi, I was just passing…no, no, that is so…Tara hi, hmm Fred gave me your card…okay that sounds pathetic. Tara, you won't believe this…she really won't. I spent all weekend thinking…oh way too pushy, damn, it seemed such a good idea at the time."

"Sorry, can I have two mochas and two cream cheese bagels, please," said Willow.

She emerged from Starbucks taking a deep breath and a quick look at the business card that Fred had given her and walked quickly towards the office's block. Reaching the lobby she told the doorman that she was going to Richmond Design and he rang ahead and pointed her towards the elevator.

Willow felt her heart start to pound as she exited from elevator and she repeated over and over to herself. "This is not a date, this is not date." She walked into the office and there was a woman with light brown hair tied in a ponytail, she had an open, friendly face with just a touch of make-up, sitting behind one of the desks. "Can I help you?"

"No, I'm afraid not," said Holly and she watched as the young redhead's shoulders dropped. "She's gone out to take care of some business for me."

"Okay, I should go," said Willow crestfallen, having gotten so worked up about seeing Tara.

"Can I give her a message or tell her who called?" Asked Holly, feeling a mixture of intrigue and protectiveness. As far as she knew, she knew all of Tara's close friends. Who was this woman and could she have something to do with Tara's brother?

Willow froze for a second, would this make her seem weird, turning up at the workplace of someone she hardly knew? "It's okay, I'll call her."

Holly moved quickly to intercept Willow. "But you have come here and you seem to have bought her lunch, surely you want to leave her a message?"

"Has she got your number?" Probed Holly further, pushing a pen and paper in Willow's direction, when the redhead shook her head. "If you write it down, I'll give it to her."

Holly waited impatiently for Tara to return, her curiosity was piqued and she couldn't wait to find out who the redhead was. Although she had a sneaky feeling she was the one causing Tara to be so forgetful today. She looked up as the door opened and Tara walked in. "That was quick. I hope you didn't run too many red lights."

"Nope, all the lights were in my favor," said Tara, laying her purse on her desk and logging onto her computer.

"Well, this little redhead with lovely green eyes came around with some lunch for you. She seemed very disappointed that you weren't here."

"She did?" Asked Tara, astonished. She had spent all weekend dreaming of those eyes without ever thinking that Willow would be interested in her.

"Yes, she also left her cell phone number," said Holly, waving the piece of paper at Tara. "So who is she?"

"I…she…I was going out with Mrs. Summers' daughter and she was with friends of her tutor and we talked," said Tara.

Seeing that the young woman she was so fond of, was bright red and starting to duck her head; Holly decided to let the subject drop not wanting to cause Tara any more discomfort.

Dawn wasn't used to her sister being so quiet during dinner. They usually shared their days, but while she had chattered on about an incident where one of the class bitches had finally gotten her comeuppance, apart from a couple of comments Tara had hardly said a word. And thinking of it her sister had been quiet all weekend.

"Tara, are you okay?" Asked Dawn, wondering if maybe her brother or father had threatened them again "Did Dad or…"

"No Sweetie, please believe me, it's nothing like that" said Tara, determined that her sister would never fear them the way she did.

"Well, I know something's on your mind," persisted Dawn. "And I am going to sit here until you tell me." She folded her arms and stuck her chin out determinedly.

"You just sit there and I'll tidy up around you," said Tara, picking up the dishes and taking them into the kitchen.

"Okay maybe…maybe I'll follow you around until you tell me," said Dawn, running after Tara.

"Tara…you said…you said you'd always be straight with me, that I could trust you and tell you anything, but hey, I guess that doesn't work both ways" said Dawn.

"It's nothing," said Tara, then seeing the look on her sister's face she realized she wasn't going to let it go. "And yes you're right, it should go both ways. So, you already know that on Friday I went out with Buffy, well there was this woman and we talked and she came by the office today…"

"Oh," said Dawn, laying the towel down because all her sister seemed to be doing was soaking her hands in the soapy water. "So is that the end of the story, 'cause you seemed in deep brood mood over dinner?"

"She left her cell number with Holly," said Tara, still looking down at the water.

"Woo hoo!" Whooped Dawn. "What did you say? When are you going out? Or is she coming here? Do you need me to make myself scarce? Cause, I can you know."

"I haven't called her," admitted Tara turning, her back now against the sink, staring into space.

There were just too many reasons for Tara to articulate to her sister. First and foremost, against all logical evidence, were her fear of rejection and the scar of insecurity that her father and brother had left on her as sure as any beating. There were other things and those she couldn't ever talk about with Dawn.

Dawn rushed into the living room, hotly pursued by Tara. Dawn grabbed Tara's purse and tried to rifle through it, before her sister snatched it back.

"I…uhm…Tara why don't you just call her?" Asked Dawn. "She must like you to have left the number, especially with Holly, 'cause you know, she can be scary, when she gets all protective."

"Okay, okay, I will," said Tara, to get her sister off her back. "She's cute and smart; which is always good and we did have a nice time."

"Prevarication, wow you must be doing well in English, I should compliment your teacher," said Tara, raising her eyebrow.

"You won't throw me off," said Dawn, and then taking Tara's hands. "You haven't seemed interested in anyone since…since Mom… she must be nice."

"She is, okay I'll call her now," said Tara, But only to stop you from going on and on, there is nothing more to it.

As Tara went to pick up the phone, she heard a knock at the door. "Dawn can you get that?"

Fred bounded into the apartment anxious to talk to Willow. She was surprised to see her friend sitting on the sofa starring into space. "I almost hate to ask."

"Oh hey," said Willow. "She was out and I made a total fool of myself with her boss."

"Pretty bad, I froze and her boss just kept asking questions and I left my cell number and bolted," said Willow, looking shame-faced.

"Wait, that's good, she couldn't have hated you or she wouldn't have wanted you to leave it," said Fred.

"Don't try and use logic on me," said Willow. "I liked it when I was being Miss Insecure, now you've got me all hopeful and you know she still won't call me and I'll have to go back to being Miss Insecure with maybe a dash of Miss Manic Depressive."

Willow's cell that was lying on the table started to ring; they both stared at it for one second and Willow made little you pick it up movements with her hand. Fred shook her head and Willow's movements became more frantic. After a few more beats Fred picked up the receiver. "Hi… hey Tara." She looked over at Willow who blanched. "Yeah, she is right here."

Fred tossed the phone to Willow who was making big head shaking movements until she caught the phone and took a deep breath. "Hey Tara…oh catch you later."

Willow looked slightly perplexed. "She sounded all friendly and then boom, she said she had to go."

"I don't think she's that sort of person," said Willow now looking a little disappointed. "But she has commitments."

"Does that worry you?" Asked Fred. "'Cause she has a kid…if you know what I mean."

"I do," said Willow. "And to be honest I don't know. I mean it is going to be strange to have a relationship with someone who has take care of someone else, go to school stuff, watch her do whatever she does…here's me talking like she wants to be with me. I mean I might seem immature and frivolous to her; she's working, has her own house, job and car and here is me still in school."

"Wow, Will from an argument stance where she could have a drawback you have managed to talk her out of having a relationship with you. Do ya think I should send it to her in a transcript and then you wouldn't have to worry about face to face rejection," mocked Fred in her southern drawl.

"You're funny, you really are. I can't wait for your opening night," said Willow and then with a sigh. "No point sitting around waiting, how 'bout we go for a walk…or something?"

"I'm sorry to disturb you girls," said Joyce, she looked pale and she had dark circles under her eyes, which were red and blood shot. Dawn had led her into the living room and Tara had terminated her call when she had seen how bad she looked.

"It's okay," said Tara. "Is everything okay with Mr. Summ…Hank, or hmm Buffy?"

"Dawn, do you mind if I talk to your sister alone for a minute?" Asked Joyce, sitting on one of the chairs heavily.

Dawn looked like she was going to argue for a second and then caught her sister's eye and shrugged. "I'm already gone."

Joyce watched Dawn leaving the room and then she looked at Tara and when she spoke her voice was shaking. "Tara, did anything happen on Friday?"

"She was quiet, but she seemed f-fine," answered Tara, a shade guiltily, knowing that her mind had been focused elsewhere that night. "Why?"

"She said she was thinking of quitting her lessons with Fred and then she shut herself in her room nearly the whole weekend," said Joyce. "All she did was use the bathroom and picked at the meals I left for her. Oh Tara, if she has another relapse I couldn't…I can't lose her again.

Joyce dissolved in tears her head dropping into her hands and Tara felt her own tears pricking at the corner of her eyes. "Do you want me to try and talk to her? I d-don't know if it would do any good. But she might just be feeling a bit overwhelmed with the world and I know how that uhm feels."

"Tara, I don't know…I only came over here to find out if anything happened. I don't want to put you on the spot," said Joyce.

Tara's head dropped for a moment and then she met Joyce's eyes. "I want to help. She might talk to me. Will always says I'm good at listening. Surely it can't do any harm."

"No, can you stay here with Dawn. I think it would be better if I go by myself, so she doesn't think you've asked me to go and talk to her. Is Hank at home?" Asked Tara.

"Good then eventually she will have to open the door for me," said Tara, rising from her chair.

Tara kept her finger pressed against the bell of the Summers' house. She had been ringing non-stop for about 10 minutes and was determined to keep it up all evening if need be to get Buffy to open the door and acknowledge her. After about another 10 minutes she heard a noise behind the door and it opened a fraction.

"My Mom's not here," said Buffy quickly before starting to close the door again.

"Good 'cause I'm here to talk to you Buffy," said Tara quickly, fearing the door wouldn't be opened again if she allowed Buffy to close it.

Buffy's heart was pounding with anxiety; she had hardly slept a wink since Friday. She couldn't make sense of what was going on around her. Buffy had been told that her memories of the last 7 years were just a delusion, but here supposedly in the real world were at least 4 people that surely couldn't or shouldn't exist. What was even worse, on Friday night she had looked out of her bedroom window and could have almost sworn that she had seen Spike slip into Tara and Dawn's house. She was now starting to wonder if the madness that everyone was persuading her she had suffered from wasn't actually real but another big bad trying to put her out of action by messing with her mind or maybe she hadn't defeated The First and this was its new plan.

Tara looked and felt momentarily hurt. "W-what happened Buffy? On Friday night? I don't understand, I thought we were all getting along."

"Go away," said Buffy through gritted teeth. "I know what you are trying to do."

Buffy just wanted so much to slam the door in Tara's face but she couldn't. She remembered that kind compassionate face, and the solace she thought she had once found there. Buffy clutched her head in her hands and fell to the floor sobbing.

Tara rushed in and slammed the door behind her. She knelt on the floor beside Buffy and took her in her arms rocking her back and forth. "Shh, it's okay Sweetie, it's okay."

They stayed like that until Buffy had cried herself out. Tara bit her lip, she wasn't sure what to do, whether to help Buffy upstairs to bed or try to find out what was wrong with the fragile, vulnerable blonde. Even though she might hate herself for it she decided on the latter. "What's going on Buffy?"

Buffy looked into kind clear blue eyes. Had she confessed to these eyes before? "It's you…Dawn…Willow…Xander."

Tara wrinkled her brow; this wasn't the response she had expected. "I don't understand."

"You were all there…all of you and now you're here and it even looked like Spike…"

"In my so called delusions, you were there, so was Dawn, Willow, Xander all of you. I can remember you all and now you're here and that is impossible, but you are here…different, but you are all here," said Buffy, surprisingly calmly, she almost felt like a weight was being lifted as she talked about it.

Tara rubbed her chin. "Maybe you are…I don't know projecting…putting memories from before on to people you are meeting."

"You don't understand, Willow was my best friend for like 7 years, I know what she looked like, who she is and you; I don't believe…this isn't the first time you have held me when I cried," Buffy noted the surprised look on Tara's face. "Oh no, not like that…I mean, we weren't lovers, if that's what you are thinking and yes, I know you are gay…you are right?"

"But you were in my delusions. Your mother died when you were 17. Your father and brother abused you, mentally and physically…"

Buffy felt her heart go out as she saw raw pain on Tara's face. "Here too, damn I'm sorry… I mean I knew about your mom but I can't believe those bastards hurt you. I should have kicked Donnie's butt…god I'm talking crazy, either that's real or this is real; they both can't be and if it isn't then your image is just something that is being used like Mom to make me wish this were real. To have you both back. To have Xander, Willow and even Dawn unscarred by the things that happened to us all. It's too easy, too much of what I would really want. There must be something really evil trying to distract me."

Tara felt out of her depth. "Maybe you should talk to your Doctor." Her mind was also stuck on part of what Buffy had said. Why was she talking about her and Joyce being back and the others unscarred? She didn't want to press, to encourage Buffy to live out her delusions anymore.

"You wanted to know and now you are running away. It's hard to have a friend who is a nut job; isn't it," said Buffy bitterly.

"No, I just don't know what I can do to help, Buffy I'm real. Dawn is real. I remember your mom visiting you in the hospital for years. Please, I'm sure this is just a case of seeing people and you have missed out of so much that you want us all to have been a part of that time," said Tara and hugging Buffy again briefly. "I can't prove to you that I am real, but I will be here for you anytime you want me or just need to talk."

Buffy rubbed her palms against her temples. "Thank you and what you said makes about as much sense as anything I can think of." But in her heart she had decided that she would just see what a friendship with Tara would bring her. This surely would lead her to the truth of the matter.

Tara felt a sense of relief because although Buffy has talked calmly there had been an almost fanatical glint in here eyes. "And you will keep up your lessons with Fred?"

"That's okay, I can't blame her for that, I mean she probably thought I was having a relapse," said Buffy mildly, all the time her mind was whirring she was sure she was right now, that Tara could lead her to the answer, if she just played her part.

Tara sighed with relief. "I'm gonna head back home and tell your mom it's okay for her to come back."

Joyce left Tara and Dawn's house in a flourish of thank yous and sorrys. Tara was happy and grateful when she was finally able to shut the door and collapse into her favorite armchair. The blonde took a deep breath and closed her eyes, it had been a long day and she had gone through so many emotional highs and lows that suddenly she felt shattered, her limbs heavy and before she knew it her lids had closed and she was fast asleep.

"You're back…" said Dawn and then in a whisper. "Oh, you're asleep." She tiptoed away from her sister and headed into the kitchen when the phone rang. Dawn snatched the kitchen extension up quickly so she didn't disturb her sister. "Hello…oh hi Jitty…Tara's asleep…Do you want me to wake her?...Okay, yeah I'm excited about the wedding…Okay… I'll check for you." Dawn tucked the phone under her chin and went to the kitchen calendar. "She's got the fitting down for 4: 30 Friday. I can't wait. Are you still going to pick me up from school? 2.30, and we can hang for a while and I can still stay tonight? Cool, catch you Friday."

Dawn decided she couldn't resist playing her sister a little. "Hmm Willow, I called her for you and arranged a date for Friday.

"W-what?" Asked Tara, sagging at the knees slightly and then she narrowed her eyes as she caught her sister's grin. "Dawn?"

"Oh-okay it was Jitty, but you know I have a point, if someone doesn't push you, nothing will happen," said Dawn.

"Hey, that's not fair, I phoned her," said Tara plaintively. "It's just something came up."

"Phone her again. I'm staying with Jitty on Friday, why don't you phone her and ask her to go on a date. You won't have to worry about me or anything," said Dawn.

"She'll think I'm weird; calling her then putting the phone down, then calling her again," said Tara.

"Just explain," said Dawn. "And if she doesn't understand then she isn't good enough for you anyway. Avoidy much anyway, it'll be okay."

Tara put her arm around her sister's shoulder and gave her a brief squeeze. "I love you Sweetie. I'll call her."

"Hi," said Willow, into her phone without checking whom the call was from. She started to cough and splutter and Fred threw her a concerned look, which the redhead waved away. "Tara, how are you? No it's okay I understand." Willow listened for a couple of minutes. "That would be great. Do you want me to pick you up? Okay about 6. Yeah, I think I know where it is." Willow clicked off the phone and grinned into space.

Fred laughed. "You want to make this difficult don't ya? Tara, why did she call?"

"She asked me to dinner on Friday, she is taking me to an Indian restaurant she knows. I'm picking her from a shop nearby. She apologized for earlier, she said something came up, something with Buffy's mom," said Willow. "Hey, she asked me on a date."

"Wow, it took you long enough to figure out; what with your genius I.Q and all," teased Fred. "But really that's great."

"Tara, from the other night?" Asked Xander. "How did I miss that? I mean I was there and I didn't see any sparkage."

"And this is why you are useless with women" said Fred. "You never pay attention."

"Hey, were do you think you're going?" Asked Xander. "I want all the gory details."

"It's no big deal and I might have read the signs wrong and she just wants me to go out as friends," said Willow and then noting the disbelieving looks of her friends she added. "I don't want to make this a big deal. I want to go out and have fun with her and if it works out great, if it doesn't then I have a new friend."

Xander opened his mouth to ask how much fun but caught the look in Willow's eyes, they had a look he knew from childhood. A look that said I have made up my mind and I don't want to talk about it.

"What are you going to wear? Oh, where will you take her?" Asked Dawn excitedly.

"I'll take her to Bobby's and I don't know what to wear," said Tara. She sat down on a stool at the breakfast bar I shouldn't have asked her; it was a moment of madness. I don't have time…"

"I had to take care of you and I had school, work everything. I didn't have time," said Tara.

Dawn pulled her sister's hair back and to started divide it so you she could braid it. "Maybe it's time you made time for you; you know it's what Mom would have wanted."

"Hey that's cheating," said Tara softly. "It's only me who is allowed to play the Mom card."

"I wouldn't let the woman down," said Tara. "And I'll probably have a new friend, if nothing else."

Jitty parked her car in the small private parking lot at the back of the shop, with the very original name of 'House of Saris'. She had been trying to start a conversation with Tara, but without getting much back. The blonde seemed very pensive and nervous. Dawn bounded from the back of the car towards the shop and Jitty let her go ahead and waited for Tara. "What's wrong?"

They entered the shop; Dawn was already talking to the woman behind the counter.

"No, of course not," said Tara, louder than she meant to causing a few heads to turn toward them, including Dawn who was talking to Jitty's mom who had already arrived at the shop, they both waved at them. Tara continued only quieter. "It's just a first date; I'm taking her to Bobby's."

"Oh, you are going to impress her with Punjabi food huh?" Asked Jitty. "Where is she meeting you?"

"Jitty, stop it," snapped Tara. "I am not a defendant, if you want to know I'll tell you. It's simple I went out with Buffy to meet a group of people, Willow was amongst them; we got along, ergo date."

"Tara, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...I promised your mom I would always look out for you both, but even if I hadn't too many things have happened…I love you both like you were my sisters." Jitty said softly and then in a firmer voice, "be careful."

"We better not keep Mom waiting any longer," said Jitty, pointing toward her mother who was tapping her wrist and looking impatient.

Willow parked her car in the lot, where Tara had told her. She had thought the other woman was going to cancel their date but she had been quite touched when she had realized that Tara was worried that she wouldn't be able to find somewhere to park her car. She approached the shop feeling a little nervous; maybe she should have bought some flowers or something, but reasoned that that might embarrass Tara turning up in front of a shop full of people with flowers. Willow took a deep breath and entered the shop; she walked through the crowd of women who were looking at material and various saris. She started to feel a little panicked when she caught sight of them and her heart skipped a beat when she saw Tara. Willow remembered her being beautiful but she didn't remember her being quite as beautiful as she looked now. She had on a pale blue silk outfit picked out with silver thread; the outfit was a pair of loose fitting trousers and an ornate over shirt. On trembling legs Willow approached them.

Jitty's mother fussed around them, making sure that all the scarves matched with everyone's outfits. "Remember you must have your chunni at the temple."

Her mother ran her fingers through Dawn's hair. "Such lovely long hair, if only Jitander could be persuaded to grow hers again."

"Only kidding, dear," said her mother. "I can't wait to see how wound up you'll get by the end of the wedding."

Tara and Dawn giggled knowing that her Mom was one person that could always rock the lawyer's self-confidence and cool.

"W-willow, sorry we are running a little behind. I'll get changed and be with you in a few minutes," said Tara.

"I'll come with you dear, do you want me to take your outfit?" Asked Jitty's mother.

"I'm pleased to meet you," said Willow, who was surprised that the tall girl didn't let go of her hand but instead moved closer and whispered in her ear.

"If you hurt my sister I will beat you to death with a shovel," she moved back from Willow and gave the stunned redhead a big grin. "A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend. Have fun tonight."

"I'm Jitty," said the lawyer, who had watched the little exchange with an amused smile on her face. "And you are Tara's date?"

"Uhm yes," said Willow wondering what was coming next, the small women gave off an air of power and self assuredness that the student found a little intimidating and she was relieved that before anything else could be said Tara re-appeared dressed in black jeans and a white peasant blouse, that showed enough of a cleavage for Willow's mind to go blank.

"Great, the restaurant is just a block down from here. You can leave your car here and we can walk," said Tara. "I hope you like Indian food."

The owner of the restaurant greeted Willow and Tara as they arrived. "Jitander and your lovely sister aren't with you tonight?"

"I've told you before, call me Bobby," said the man as he led them over to a booth in the corner and handed them menus. "Drinks?"

"It's more popular within the Indian population, it's doesn't really cater for western tastes," explained Tara. "But the food is excellent."

Willow nodded and picked up the menu, there were a lot of dishes she recognized but quite a number that she didn't. "So what's good?" She asked, deciding that she would let Tara guide her.

"It's a mixture of some starters and it has a couple of little main courses, a dhal, pickles, some rice, chappatis and a sweet," explained Tara. "That way if there is something you don't like then you can leave it."

"Yeah, she took me here. Oh did I mention all the food is vegetarian. I hope you don't mind. I'm such a cliché, I'm a vegetarian, lesbian and I even own a cat. Well, when I say own he is this big black and white cat that turns up to be fed every morning and night and then makes the house his own and I'm sorry that I am gabbling; I'm a little nervous." Tara was slightly breathless and had started to go a little red in the face.

"Funny, I thought it was only me that that happened to," said Willow, amused and charmed. This woman had put her at her ease with her natural warmth, but there was one thing that was nagging at back of her mind and she needed to get it out. "Who's Jitty? I mean I know she was at the shop and she knew I was your date."

"Do you usually go shopping with your lawyer…" Willow stopped a second as the waiter arrived with the food. "I didn't mean it quite the way that it came out, most people aren't that close with their lawyers or even have them."

"It's a long story and that is a deep fried chilli in batter; okay too late," said Tara, as Willow spluttered. "Hmm s-sorry."

Willow wiped the tears away from her eyes and looked into Tara's concerned eyes and for a second she thought she could get used to being cared for by those eyes. "I'm fine don't worry, it wasn't that hot just went down the wrong way and please tell me your long story; I'm interested."

"When my Mom knew she was dying from cancer she looked around for the best lawyer she could find who could help draw up a will and trust fund for me and Dawn. She found Jitty, she practices family law and her and my Mom became close friends. When it became obvious my Mom was going to die before I was 18, Jitty put my Mom's mind at ease by becoming our legal guardian until I came of age. I suppose you could say she's more like a big sister," said Tara.

Willow listened to the way Tara told her story, in a low flat voice without looking at her. She could tell the other woman had so much emotion held inside, but Willow shied away from pushing. It didn't feel like the best thing to do on a first date, although the redhead stored it away for another time and maybe to ask what had happened to Tara's Dad. "She sounds like a special person. I don't think most lawyers would be that caring. What is this? Is it a sweet?" Willow pointed to a sponge on their joint plate of starters.

"Me too," giggled Tara at the face the redhead made and then a little more serious. "And you're right she is a special person. She knows what it's like to have an insecure future as a child. I think that is why she helped."

"I'm sorry if I'm prying, but explain?" Asked Willow as she pushed aside the starters and looked started at the round metal plate that held a number of small metal bowls with the rest of her food in them.

"No it's okay. Her family were from Uganda; she was amongst the Indians who were given 90 days to leave by Idi Amin. Jitty doesn't remember too much about it but her family moved around a lot. They went to England first, but her mom went to school here so eventually they settled in the states," said Tara. "But I've spoken way too much about me, how about you?"

Tara didn't know what came over her, she had talked more than she was ever used to and Willow made her feel very comfortable. She squeezed Willow's hand. "I meant it, I don't think you could be boring."

"Good, really good," said Willow, they sat in silence for a while as they finished their food; it wasn't a forced silence but comfortable, safe.

Tara gestured for a waiter to come over. "Can I have the check please?" He nodded and brought it over in a dish.

"How much do I owe you?" Asked Willow, taking her wallet from her jacket pocket.

"No, I asked you here; I insist on paying," said Tara, throwing some bills on the plate.

Tara gave Willow a smile that almost stopped her heart with its radiance. "So there'll be another date?"

"If you don't mind," said Tara and then a little uncertainly. "Actually my s-sister is staying with Jitty, if you would like to come in for c-coffee."

"Yeah, it's cool. My mom and dad bought it for my birthday," said Willow indicating to pull out.

"Not really, I think it's a guilt trip purchase because the rest of the time they never notice I'm alive and the year before they missed my birthday completely," explained Willow, in a flat voice.

Willow shook herself out of her creeping self-deprecation. "You don't have to apologize, I'm just dwelling on stuff that isn't important. My parents are both academics, they tend to forget that people exist in the real world; me especially, but at least they are still alive and lecturing in Iowa or somewhere equally exciting, I think."

"I'm sorry," said Willow. "I meant at least they are reachable if I want them, that's if they remember who I am." Willow made a weak attempt at humor and then continued softly. "I…I didn't mean to hurt you."

Tara smiled. "I know. Let's not do this whole sorry thing. We are just getting to know one another and I don't want you to feel that you have to tip-toe around me over this and do you know where you are going?"

"K," said Willow and pulled up, she sat in the car feeling a little shaky, she didn't understand quite why.

Tara got out of the car and looked surprised that Willow hadn't followed her. "Uhm, if you want to head home its f-fine."

Willow shook herself out of the mood she was in. "No, I would love a cup of coffee."

If they had waited a few minutes longer they would have seen the car, that had followed them from the restaurant, glide up to the curb across the road. Penny dug her fingers into the steering wheel when she saw Willow enter into the house behind Tara. "How can you go in there with that slut? You know you belong to me." She said softly, before taking off at great speed, tires burning. She couldn't allow this; correction wouldn't allow this. Willow was hers and she would make sure it always stayed that way.

Tara led Willow into the living room. "I'll be back in a second. Do you want anything else?"

"No, thanks, coffee's fine," said Willow. As Tara left the room she looked around and could see right away Tara's talent for design. The color scheme was a conservative green and cream; but she had livened it up with throws and cushions. It was obvious that the furniture was not the best but the fabrics she had used made everything look fantastic, light and airy with lots of textures. A charcoal picture was above the fireplace; the set of the cheekbones and the generous lips told Willow that the drawing was of Tara and Dawn's mother. The beauty, artistry and talent in the picture shone, stunning the redhead and she was unsurprised when she saw it was signed T. Maclay. She felt an itch; an impatience that told her she wanted to see Tara right now. She followed her path into the kitchen; the blonde's back was to her, as she watched the coffee machine finish its job.

Tara felt the movement behind her and turned to find Willow closer than she expected, they regarded one another for a second, the air seemed to still and time stop. Willow brushed her hand over Tara's cheek, before leaning in and their lips touched for a brief second and then they stopped.

For a moment they were both breathless, surprised, confused even; by what had happened, what they felt, if the other was feeling it too They'd known each other such a short time, hadn't they? Yet it didn't feel that way, it felt; it felt…like…like…coming home.

"Wow," whispered Willow, not even sure if she had said it aloud or just in her head.

The second time their lips met was different, deeper, a passion making its way to the surface. Willow put her arm around Tara feeling her warm skin as she slid her hand up the back of Tara's shirt while her mouth moved along her neck and shoulder.

The chime of the front door alarm made them both jump, Tara pulling away and adjusting her clothes. "What is she doing back? She said she was staying with Jitty all night."

Willow shrugged, feeling like a naughty kid who had just been caught doing something she shouldn't.

"Hey I've got the pizza if you…Who are you?" Asked William, glaring at Willow.

Willow glared back at the man defiantly, she was surprised by his attitude and his appearance seemed to clash against Tara and everything that was in the house.

"Will, what the hell are you doing here, again? Let me guess your uncle has thrown you out again and you wanted a place to crash and don't talk to my friend like that," snapped Tara, annoyed by his treatment of Willow.

"Well I thought this was Friday night; you know video night with you and Jitty but I take it I wasn't being kept in the loop," said Will. "And the guilty looks on both your faces doesn't read friend to me."

"Nothing," replied Will. "But I know where I don't belong." He turned sharply on his heel and threw the pizza box down.

Tara gave Willow an apologetic look before running after him; she got to him just as he went out the door. "Stop, Will what's gotten into you?"

"I don't know, I mean I want you to have someone, but it felt weird walking in and seeing you with someone. You were both flushed and she looked so guilty…I admit I did know Dawn was at Jitty's and I thought we could have pizza night anyway. I didn't want you be on your own and was looking forward to having a gossip with you. I didn't think you'd have a date here," said William starting to look ashamed. "I'm sorry I flounced out like a big spoilt child. I did didn't I?"

"Nah, I think I've made a bad enough impression for one night. Tell her I'm sorry and I'll meet her another day, oh and I eh…like her name.

"I'm sure," he said. "Have a good night Sweetie. Give her a proper breakfast in the morning."

He raised his eyebrow but didn't say anything as he kissed her on the top of the head and waved goodbye.

Willow hugged her arms; she felt a little battled from the quick changes in emotions. One minute she was in a passionate kiss with a beautiful woman and the next moment she was being stared down by an angry man. She was confused by what was going on and was relieved when Tara came back into the kitchen without the man.

"Willow, I'm s-so sorry," said Tara. "He is a good friend, but he wasn't expecting me to be with someone and I know its no excuse for his rudeness."

"Are you two involved?" Willow asked, fearful of the answer. She was starting to feel the night had gone far too well and she was now waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Tara laughed so much she couldn't breathe for a second. "Me and Will…really…you think that…Will…god this will kill him when I tell him." She took a couple of deep breaths. "He's gay Willow, he's my best friend, a little bit protective but honestly that's all it was. And you know I'm gay too."

Willow felt a weight lifted from her shoulders, but it had been a little too much and she needed a little time to process everything that had happened. "Its okay, but I think I should skip the coffee. I have some studying I need to catch up on."

"Oh, hmm of c-course. Don't let me k-keep you," Tara cursed inwardly as she stumbled over her words, she'd been meaning to aim for carefree but instead had hit gauche and hurt.

The show of vulnerability pierced Willow's heart a little more, making her feel guilty for shrugging Tara off; this woman couldn't be more different from Penny if she tried. "But I was thinking seeing as you bought me dinner, I wondered if I could get you breakfast and I totally understand if you have something going on with you sister, we could make it another day."

"Dawn has a soccer game in the afternoon but I could do breakfast," said Tara quickly, almost as if she expected the invite to be snatched away from her.

"Before you think anything else, I had a great night," said Willow, pulling Tara into her arms and kissing her gently. "But maybe your friend's interruption was for the best, things were moving pretty fast. I'll see you tomorrow, at the coffee shop we met at with Buffy."

Tara walked Willow to her car and waved her off. She closed the door and went back into the kitchen, threw the pizza out and poured herself a cup of coffee, all in all the date had gone great until Will had arrived and the memory of those kisses was enough to keep her hopeful that there were a lot of good things in store for her. She closed her eyes and breathed in catching the last lingering scent of Willow, her girlfriend? She wasn't sure yet but she felt it could be.

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By Magrat

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