To Live Again by Kinetic-Kid

Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Definitely no money being made. All characters belong to Joss Whedon and ME. I own nothing except whatever characters I may make up for this story.
Distribution: The Mystic Muse: http://mysticmuse.net
Kinetic-Kid's Site: http://www.kinetic-kid.com
Oh yeah, anywhere, anytime. Just make sure I get credit and let me know where it is.
Feedback: Please Please PLEASE. I live for feedback. I get irritable and upset if I don't get any and I might not continue writing. Of course, if you don't like the story and think it sucks you may not want me to continue!
Spoilers: Come on! Surely you've seen every episode multiple times!
Author's Notes: This is an Alternate Universe!
Pairing: Buffy/Tara

Summary: The Scoobies have grown apart.

"Damn it, Giles!" Buffy growls as she throws her hands up in the air. "I can deal with it. You don't exactly have the extra manpower here handy to send someone after the demon. And tell me the truth, would you want one of these young kids to do it, or would you prefer me to be the one there?"

Giles sighs heavily as he stares at his original and oldest slayer. "This demon is extremely wily and dangerous, Buffy. I'd prefer no one to take it on by themselves."

"Unfortunately we don't have that luxury this time, Giles. Everyone is out on other missions. We can't send out the new slayers, they don't have the experience. I'll go, kick its ass and come back." Buffy smirks as Giles narrows his eyes at her. "I'm taking it seriously, Giles. I promise, now get me a plane ticket to Oxymoron or whatever the hell the place is called."

"Oxvattnet. It's in Sweden. It's the last place it was reported being seen." Giles rolls his eyes, realizing that Buffy would never change. "There's a small Coven in Fredrika, which isn't very far away. If you should get into any kind of trouble, or need help, they're the ones that contacted us about this."

"'Kay." Buffy nods her head. "Same ol' thing. Get me in the country, get me hooked up and I get to go hunting." Buffy grins.

Giles laughs quietly, looking at the excited slayer, knowing that once she gets there she'll be all business, but her excitement making her look almost like the young girl she used to be. Giles remembered when she'd showed up roughly three years after the collapse of Sunnydale, the slayer leaning against the doorframe, grinning at him. Telling him she'd had enough fun sightseeing, and wanted to kick some demon ass.

"We'll fly you in as close as we can, after that your best bet is going to be to rent a motorcycle or a scooter of some sort." Giles admits quietly. "Where you're going through is a lot of small villages, more than anything. I'm not even sure if there are roads to some of these places, so you'll probably have better luck with a motorbike of some sort."

Buffy rolls her eyes, sighing heavily. "I guess it's a good thing I can ride one halfway decently now."

"I dare say." Giles quirks his lip as she smacks him gently on the arm. "Let me go get the preparations taken care of. Make sure you pack warm clothes." Giles calls after the quickly departing slayer.

"Yeah, I've been in Sweden before, Giles. I know it's colder than just about anywhere I've ever been. About froze my ass off the last time I was there." Buffy waves, as she trots up the stairs to her room.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." Buffy growls as she drops her backpack, looking at the tracks that seemed to disappear right in front of her. "Wily bastard. They're tricky, strong and have a sixth sense for when they're being tracked. He didn't fucking tell me they could literally disappear!" Buffy eyes the area, trying to see where the demon could have gone.

Kneeling on the ground where the last of the large tracks were, Buffy frowns as the sky slowly darkens. "Great, nighttime coming on, demon disappearing on me and I haven't found somewhere to hole up yet. Smart, Buffy, real smart." Buffy stands, brushing her knees off as she grabs up the backpack, throwing it over her shoulder as she heads back to where she remembers a rock outcropping that would afford a decent amount of coverage from the elements.

Having been tracking the demon for the last week, she feels likes she's closer than she's ever been before. Grabbing a power bar out of her pocket, she quickly gobbles it down as she works her way closer to where the rock cropping should be when she feels her spidey senses shooting off the charts. Grabbing out a knife and dropping the backpack as she drops low to the ground spinning around, she grunts as she's slammed into the ground.

Hearing the loud growling in her ear at the same time fists that feel like concrete blocks slam into her sides, Buffy gathers all of her strength to push up off the ground, trying to dislodge the demon.

"Not this time, you fucking bastard." Buffy snarls as she ducks a fist and slams a knife in the demon's stomach. Wincing as the demon screams in pain even as he grabs her and tosses her thirty yards into a tree. Blinking and shaking her head from where she's seeing triple of everything, Buffy tries to stand, screaming out in pain and collapsing on the ground as her leg literally collapses on her, obviously broken, the bone sticking out from her pants.

Grabbing her leg, she tries to look around for something to protect herself with as her backpack's still where she'd dropped it. Shaking her head again as the fuzziness tries to take over Buffy raises a hand to wipe across her forehead, frowning when it feels wet and sticky. Pulling her hand down, she groans at the blood-covered fingers.

Hearing the deep growling coming closer, Buffy tries to focus in on the demon, seeing the obvious anger and death in it's eyes, she swallows as she sees the end of her life flashing through her mind as the demon grabs her and starts shaking her like a rag doll, slamming her into the tree.

"I'm worried about my slayer. I would have thought I would have heard back from her by now." Giles explains worriedly into the phone, talking to the head of the Coven in Fredrika.

"One of our young women is excellent at locator spells. She's actually been with us for the past six almost seven years. I'll have her see if she can locate your missing slayer." Ingrid explains softly as she reaches for a notepad, making a quick note and handing it to one of her sister Coven members.

"I'd appreciate your help in any way you can." Giles breathes out a sigh of relief. "If there is anything I can do, please let me know."

"As soon as we find anything, we'll let you know, Mr. Giles." Ingrid explains softly, the worry obvious in her voice.

"Thank you." Giles sighs heavily as he places the phone down, staring out the window. "Don't do this to me, Buffy." He growls quietly as he runs a shaky hand through his hair wondering if he should contact Dawn to let her know her sister is missing, or wait until he has more information.

Deciding to wait and see what happens, Giles reaches into his bottom drawer, pulling out a bottle of scotch and pouring it in his mug, downing it as he stares out at the night.

"Sister?" Bridgette looks at the woman studying in the corner of the room. Handing the note to her she watches as the blue eyes of her Coven member reads over the note, the woman paling considerably before hopping up and running out of the room. Bridgette stares stunned, never having seen the woman move that quickly or show that much emotion since she'd arrived here at the Coven.

Ingrid looks up from her desk, staring into fiery blue eyes, seeing a passion in the depths that she's never seen before. Not knowing if it was the fact of someone being hurt, or if there was some deeper reason, she slowly nods her head. "Fine, but they're leaving out in ten minutes, you better be prepared."

"Already am." The words are growled lowly as the blonde spins around on her heel, the backpack visible over her shoulder as she leaves the room.

"Well, what the hell brought this on?" Ingrid questions the now empty room, staring in contemplation at the empty doorway. Curiously she looks down at the phone number for Rupert Giles at the head of the New Watcher's Council. Slowly picking up the phone, she dials the number.

Giles sets down the phone, swallowing hard as his hands shake uncontrollably. "Dear, Lord. She's alive? She never died." Giles runs a shaky hand through his thin hair, staring at the door to his office as he wonders what this means. It having taken Ingrid the better part of two hours discussing with him on the phone to make him realize that there was no way the young woman that had come to their Coven was false. Once she told him the exact dates and the cryptic comments the woman had told her, there was no doubt in his mind that the person that had been in their midst was not the woman the group had come to know and love.

"What is this going to mean?" Giles questions the empty office, sighing deeply before dropping his head on his desk as he decides to not think about that and worry instead about what might be happening with Buffy.

Buffy whimpers quietly as she slowly drags her way towards her backpack, feeling multiple bones grating against each other as she tries to make it to food and water, the demon having left her for dead.

Passing out, the slayer is unaware of the time passing until she feels a warm hand stroking softly over her cheek, bringing her back to consciousness. Forcing her eyes open, she stares up into blue eyes, blinking as she tries to bring them more into focus, trying to figure out why they look familiar.

"Don't move. We're going to get you in stable enough shape so we can take you back to the Coven. Then we're going to fix you up and you're going to tell me why the hell you came after the Krinakill demon by yourself, you stupid, stubborn slayer."

"We need to set her leg and bandage it. I don't see how she's still alive." Christina admits softly as she and one of the other members prepare to set Buffy's leg as well as they can.

Wincing at the sight of the bone sticking out of the slayer's jeans leg, Tara looks down into pain filled hazel eyes. "Oh, Buffy. What have you done to yourself, sweetie?"

"Hallucinating…you're dead…" Buffy mumbles, coughing up some blood while trying to hold her ribs.

"Shhh." Tara whispers a spell to knock Buffy out as she quickly wraps some bandages around the slayer's head, before working down the slayer's body as the other members work on Buffy's leg. Pulling out a wide ace bandage, Tara looks at the other members. "I'm lifting her to wrap her ribs."

They shift and nod, waiting for Tara to lift Buffy off the ground before they quickly work on finishing bandaging the slayer's leg.

"Goddess! Even with your slayer healing, it's going to take you a while to get well from this, Buffy." Tara whispers as she quickly binds the slayer's ribs as another member slides the board under Buffy for them to carry the woman back to the Coven.

"Let's get her back quickly." Christina grasps one of the handles as she watches the other three women grab a handle as they lift Buffy quickly before taking off through the woods towards their Coven, the four women keeping an eye out for the demon, not knowing if it's still alive or not.

Ingrid looks into the room, watching curiously as Tara gently washes the slayer, the caring obvious with each tender movement. Having spoken with Giles, she'd been surprised and shocked when she'd found out that Tara had been part of the group of friends that had permanently closed the Hellmouth in California. The shock and surprise turning to a heart stopping fear as Giles had further explained that the 'Tara Maclay' that stayed there had been shot through the heart and killed, sending Willow Rosenberg into a depth of despair unknown before. Every leader of each Coven was aware of how close the world had come to ending that terrible, tragic day. The more they had discussed what had happened, and things became clearer for both of them after one of their many discussions, they had finally figured out that The First, for whatever reason, had tried to infiltrate the group by using the imitation.

They had figured that The First had tried to use the information he gathered to get inside the heads of the Scoobies, but both of them agreed that The First hadn't wanted his version of Tara to go out the way she had. Neither one of them sure that the Tara that had died knew she wasn't, in fact, the real Tara Maclay.

Biting her lip she considers Tara as she watches her clean Buffy's wounds and changes the bandages of the still unconscious slayer. Since they had come back with her, Tara hadn't left her side and had insisted on being the one to take care of her. Slowly stepping into the room, Ingrid watches as Tara lifts her head slightly and turns to look at her before continuing with what she's doing.

"You need to take care of yourself, also, Tara." Ingrid whispers softly as Tara finally finishes replacing the bandages around the slayer's thigh.

"I ate earlier." Tara pulls the sheets and blankets back up over the naked slayer, the woman having so many wounds, that it was decided that it would be easier to keep her naked instead of trying to peel off clothes to change the bandages, or to check her wounds.

"But you need sleep and a shower would not go amiss, either." Ingrid hints subtly.

Tara raises her eyes, staring at the head of the Coven. "I'll take a shower, but I'll be coming back right afterwards."

Ingrid sighs heavily and nods as she walks into the room, sitting down in the chair Tara had vacated as she strode out of the room. Looking curiously at the slayer, Ingrid tilts her head. "You know, after she came here she never spoke about anything personal? Hell, even now, she doesn't talk except when absolutely necessary. I wondered if she wouldn't have been better served to be in a nunnery. But she is a very smart, powerful Wiccan, and now with you here, I see the person she should be. You had better get well, I fear for what will happen with her if you don't."

"How's my patient doing?" Doctor Sanders smiles softly at Tara as she makes her way towards the woman's room.

"She hasn't regained consciousness yet, but she's healing well." Tara offers quietly as she runs her hands through her damp hair, braiding it quickly and without thought, sighing at having been kicked out of Buffy's room once again by Ingrid.

"With the trauma she went through, I don't doubt that it might be another week before she becomes conscious." Sanders explains as she grasps Tara's shoulder gently. "She's going to make it, Tara. She has a strong spirit."

Tara nods her eyes distant. "She does, but it worries me that she hasn't regained consciousness yet." Tara follows the doctor into Buffy's room, watching as Ingrid quickly shifts from the chair, vacating it for Tara to take up her normal place.

Tara hesitates by the door, watching as the doctor checks Buffy's pupils before the knowledgeable woman quickly works her way over Buffy's wounds, pursing her lips as she presses gently on the slayer's abdomen, nodding and smiling softly as she works her way down to the slayer's leg.

Checking the splint on the woman's leg making sure it hasn't shifted, she gently eases the bandage away from the wound, where the slayer's leg bone had pierced the skin. Pulling the bandage completely away, she looks up at Tara. "This has healed wonderfully. Keep up with the antibiotic creams and make sure that the splint keeps her leg immobile so the bone has time to set properly. Everything else looks great. If you have any problems, let me know. Other than that, I think she's going to be fine."

"What about her not coming to?" Tara questions worriedly, looking at the slayer.

"Probably just her shutting down because of the damage she sustained. She'll wake up when she's ready." Doctor Sanders pats Tara gently on the shoulder as she follows the Coven leader out of the room. "Don't worry, Tara. She's going to be fine."

Tara sighs heavily as she walks back to her chair, pulling it up to the side of the slayer's bed, reaching down to pull up the blanket for added warmth before sitting down, looking over at the fireplace. Shaking her head she walks over to the fireplace and shifts the wood around placing a couple more logs on it. Kneeling in front of the fire, Tara stares into the flames as she thinks back to the time when she'd left Sunnydale.

Remembering Willow doing the forget spell on everyone, Dawn's rejection of her and the feeling of despair that had settled in her soul at the thought of the people she considered her family disowning her. Having left the Summers' residence that night, she'd gone to a hotel and considered her options, having finally pulled out the letter from her mother telling her to contact the Coven in Quebec, if she needed to get away from her family.

Knowing that her mother had meant her father and brother, but having come across the Scooby gang, them becoming her family and meaning more to her than her real father and brother ever could. Her heart breaking she'd contacted the head of the Coven and they had arranged for her to come there. When the Coven had closed not long after she'd arrived, and Christina, one of the members had decided to come to Sweden and the Coven here in Fredrika, Tara had decided to follow along, having the urge to get farther away from the United States.

When she'd heard about Sunnydale becoming a sinkhole, she'd become even more quiet and withdrawn, as she'd wondered if any of the people that she had come to know and love had made it out alive. But not knowing whom to contact after finding out that the Watcher's Council had blown up, she'd just cried herself to sleep, deciding to immerse herself in her craft.

When she'd read the note from Ingrid, naming Buffy Summers as the slayer that had been sent to take out the Krinakill demon and that she hadn't checked in with her Watcher and that Giles feared the worse, she'd felt her heart slam back in her chest at the thought of the petite slayer having lived through whatever happened in Sunnydale only to be killed not ten miles from where she was living.

A couple days earlier, when Ingrid had forced her out of the room for the third time, she'd dragged her to her office and made her sit down and eat while she explained what had happened in Sunnydale after she'd left. To say that she was stunned and shocked would be putting it mildly. As Ingrid had dialed Giles and handed her the phone before leaving her alone in the room to talk with the Watcher, she'd listened and answered questions on automatic, before finally breaking down and explaining everything she'd gone through from her point of view. From bringing Buffy back all the way through to her being where she's at right now.

To say the Watcher was stunned was putting it mildly, even with Willow having explained to him briefly what had happened between the two women. When she'd insisted on his not telling anyone where she was until she decided what she'd do, he'd quietly agreed.

Dropping her head as she looks at the fire, she thinks about the fact that Willow had moved on, and obviously was happy with the slayer she was living with in Brazil, if what Giles had said were true. Dawn was in college, planning on becoming a doctor. She feels a tear trickle down her cheek at the thought of Anya having been killed, and a surprising spark of happiness for Spike, who had gotten his soul, giving up his life to help defeat The First, to only come back and end up dying fighting off the demons that had come to earth when the tear between worlds that had briefly happened in LA. Smiling at the thought of Xander working around the world, helping to locate and bring new slayers in for training immersing himself in the job after Anya died.

Which brings her back to the woman lying unconscious behind her. Feeling her heart getting heavy at the thought of Buffy having almost died, yet again, Tara slowly stands and turns to walk towards the woman. Picking up the cup of beef broth, she sits down gently at the head of the bed, shifting Buffy gently up so she can get the slayer to a position to hopefully swallow some of the much-needed nourishment.

Tilting the cup up to the slayer's lips, Tara presses her cheek against the top of Buffy's head. "Please sweetie, you need the nourishment. I know you're getting the intravenous feeds, but I'd feel much better if you'd at least swallow some of this. I'd feel even better if you'd wake up and show me that you're getting well."

Buffy hears a soft, soothing voice whispering softly in her ear wanting her to wake up. Fighting against the darkness holding her, she makes her way to that soothing, calming sanctuary. The voice sounding so familiar and tantalizing that she can't help but want to make her way towards it.

Smelling something delicious, Buffy unconsciously opens her mouth, moaning as a warm, tasty liquid coats her dry mouth, trickling inside. Quickly swallowing, Buffy tries to get more in her mouth.

"Goddess…" Tara murmurs quietly, feeling the slayer starting to shift under her as she tries to get more of the broth. Holding her tightly with one arm, Tara tips the cup gently to the slayer's lips, allowing her small sips of the liquid. "Easy, Buffy. Don't take it down too quickly I don't know how it'll set on your stomach, sweetie."

Buffy sips some more as she listens to the voice, finally dragging her eyes open in shock as the soft tones and the word 'sweetie' strike home in her heart. Shifting her head quickly, she stares in stunned shock at Tara. Looking into the blue eyes she'd never imagined looking into again, it takes her a moment for it to sink in that Tara is there. Unconsciously, Buffy lifts her hand and touches her fingertips to Tara, not believing it isn't The First come back to haunt her. "You're real?"

"Very much so, sweetie." Tara grins crookedly at the slayer as she sees the confusion and wariness in the hazel eyes. "Trust me I don't think you can be as shocked as I was when I found out that I had supposedly died in Sunnydale." Tara admits quietly, her eyes looking over Buffy's face, her free hand unconsciously stroking over Buffy's stomach. "I'm afraid that I'm more in the know than you are right now. But let's get some more broth inside you. Then I can finally unhook the I.V. You've had me worried the last week."

Buffy holds the cup away from her lips as she shifts her upper body, looking intently at Tara for the longest time. "You didn't die?"

Tara swallows and shakes her head. "I left for Canada two days after leaving your house. Not long after that I came here." Tara explains softly, her eyes sad.

Buffy blinks as she tries to focus enough for the Wiccan's words to sink in her brain. Thinking back to the time in Sunnydale when The First had been impersonating everyone that had previously died, she realizes he had never impersonated Tara. If he had wanted to make Willow go off the deep end, one visit from Tara's ghost would have probably done it. Hell, if he'd impersonated Tara, he probably could have wiped out Willow and Dawn both. Without them, she would have probably followed quickly, then Xander. He would have won in a heartbeat. "That's why he wasn't able to impersonate you…you never died."

"No, it wasn't me, sweetie." Tara explains softly as she urges Buffy back around, placing the cup of broth back to the slayer's lips. "We'll discuss this later, Buffy. Try to sip some of this broth then I'll unhook your I.V."

Buffy nods slightly as she reaches her hand up, wrapping her hand around Tara's as she slowly sips the broth, letting her mind wander as everything that had happened after Tara had left, realizing her breakdown wasn't with Tara, but with the…fake? How the hell could such a perfect copy be made?

"Shhhh…" Tara places a soft kiss against the slayer's busy brain. "Stop thinking and just sip your broth. Then get some much-needed healing sleep. When you're up to it, we'll talk." Tara softly brushes her cheek over the slayer's head, having felt the slayer tense in her arms as she'd obviously been thinking about what had happened. "It's not going to disappear, sweetie. So, please, just worry about getting well then let the rest take care of its self okay?"

Buffy takes a deep breath, relaxing slightly as she finishes the broth. Licking her lips, she still feels an emptiness in her stomach. "Can I have more?" Buffy finally questions quietly.

"Of course. Would you like some juice, water, milk or something else?" Tara offers as she shifts her body and eases Buffy back onto the bed, looking at the slayer as she runs her fingers through the slayer's hair.

Buffy can't help but reach up and stroke her fingers over the Wiccan's cheek, still not believing that the Wiccan is alive. "Anything is fine." Buffy blinks in surprise as Tara presses her cheek into her hand, letting her cup her cheek in the palm of her hand.

"Let me get you some more broth and something to drink. Do you want to try to hold down something more solid, or stick to the broth right now?" Tara nibbles on her bottom lip as she waits for Buffy's answer.

"I think I could hold something more solid down." Buffy admits, smiling as Tara grins at her.

"I'll be back in a few minutes, sweetie." Tara leans down, brushing her lips softly over Buffy's forehead before easing away and striding quickly from the room, unaware of the surprised and curious slayer she leaves behind.

Buffy unconsciously reaches up and brushes her fingers over her forehead, having felt a surprising tingle as the Wiccan's lips had pressed against her forehead. Running a slightly shaky hand through her hair, she frowns as she feels the slight tenderness and scab on her scalp. Becoming aware of the aches and pains in her body, Buffy shifts and slowly takes inventory, feeling the slight pulling in her ribs, the aching in her stomach from whatever internal damage she'd had down to her leg, frowning at the splint, Buffy runs her fingers over the jagged scab as she remembers seeing her bone sticking through the skin. Slowly dropping back onto the bed, Buffy stares up at the ceiling as she wonders how she managed to live through the attack.

Licking her dry lips, she looks up at the bag hanging above her, dripping much needed fluids into her body. Looking down to where the needle is in her arm, she starts to pull off the tape holding the needle in place when she hears a growl from the door.

"Don't you dare!" Tara growls at the slayer as she comes into the room, setting the tray on her chair as she turns to look at the slayer, her brows furrowed. "Stubborn slayer. I see time hasn't given you much patience." Tara shifts to the nightstand and opens the drawer, pulling out antiseptic wipes and a bandage before turning back to Buffy, sitting down gingerly beside the smirking slayer.

"Made you bossier, it would seem." Buffy comments, trying not to laugh at the narrowed gaze turned on her.

"Actually she's talked more in the last week, than she has practically the whole six plus years she's been here." Ingrid murmurs as she walks into the room, looking at the slayer, before looking to a blushing Tara.

Buffy blinks in surprise as she glances at the older woman, with the heavy accent coming to stand at the end of her bed.

"Sorry, I'm Ingrid. The head of the Coven." Ingrid smiles gently at the slayer. "Glad to see you've finally woken. Now I may be able to get Tara to spend more than fifteen minutes out of your room."

"Ingrid." Tara hisses quietly at the Coven leader before she deftly pulls the needle from Buffy's vein, pressing a bandage against the hole for a few minutes before gently cleaning the area and placing a Band-Aid over it. Standing, she places the used items in the trash, grabbing the extra pillows out of the closet before helping Buffy to sit up, she props the slayer up with the additional pillows. Grasping the chair she slides it closer to the bed. "What do you want first, sweetie? Juice, milk, broth or ham and cheese sandwich?"

"Eat, relax and try to rest. We'll have time to talk later. Your getting well is the most important thing right now. Mr. Giles is aware you're here, and I'll call him now to let him know you're conscious and eating." Ingrid smiles encouragingly at the slayer before easing from the room, gently shutting the door behind her.

"You've spent all your time here taking care of me?" Buffy questions hoarsely, deciding to focus on that instead of the fact that Tara had obviously climbed into her shell and tried to keep her interaction with the world to a minimum after what Willow had done to her.

Buffy sighs quietly as she looks at the items on the tray. "Juice, please." Buffy unconsciously licks her lips, trying to generate some moisture on them. Accepting the glass from Tara, she lifts it to her lips, drinking it gingerly, taking a few breaths in between each sip. After finishing the juice, she hands it back to Tara, smiling self-consciously. "Thirsty."

"I kind of figured you would be." Tara smiles softly as she hands half of the sandwich to Buffy. "Let's see how this sits on your stomach, before I give you some of your broth. Then if you're up for it, you can have the rest of the sandwich then the milk."

"'Kay." Buffy quickly works her way through the sandwich half, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes as she unconsciously grins at the sandwich. "Can I have the other half, first?" Buffy opens her eyes, when she hears the quiet chuckle coming from Tara.

"Of course. After you finish this if you want more I'll get you some more." Tara grins crookedly at the slayer as she watches Buffy practically inhale the other half. "How do you feel, sweetie?"

"Stiff, sore and hurting." Buffy admits quietly as she accepts the broth from Tara and sips cautiously at the hot liquid.

Tara reaches in the nightstand and pulls out some pain pills, shaking three of them out into her hand. Waiting for Buffy to slowly finish the broth, she hands the pills to Buffy along with the milk. Accepting the mug back from Buffy, she sets it on the tray.

Buffy snarls her nose up at the pills as she looks from them to Tara and back again.

"Take them, sweetie. You're hurting and it'll help you get some much needed healing sleep." Tara sighs quietly as Buffy looks at her with a stubborn look on her face.

"How much sleep have you had since I've been here?" Buffy questions, her eyes narrowed on the Wiccan. When Tara slides her eyes away from her, Buffy looks more intently at the Wiccan, seeing the dark circles under her eyes and the gauntness to Tara's face. Also noticing for the first time, the slight crow's feet at the corners of Tara's eyes and other tell tale signs of the years having passed. "I'll make you a deal." Buffy offers quietly.

"What kind of deal?" Tara turns her gaze back towards the slayer, tilting her head curiously.

"I'll take these if you promise to go to your room, curl up in your bed and sleep for a minimum of ten hours…after having a nutritious meal." Buffy searches the blue eyes, seeing the Wiccan want to argue by the look in her eyes, before they finally soften and her head slowly nods, giving in without a fight. "Say it, Tara." Buffy whispers.

Tara sighs heavily and states in an even softer voice than the slayer. "I promise to get something to eat and sleep for at least ten hours after you settle in, take the pills and fall asleep."

Buffy shakes her head at the conditions Tara added, before chuckling softly. "Deal." Buffy pops the pills in her mouth before slowly drinking the milk.

"Do you want another sandwich? Or maybe something else?" Tara places the empty glass back on the tray.

"On what?" Tara raises an eyebrow at the slayer, wondering what she's going to come up with this time.

"Will you join me?" Buffy's lips twitch as Tara laughs and slowly nods her head.

"I guess you're wanting to make sure I eat, aren't you?" Tara brushes a hand over Buffy's cheek, smiling as Buffy nods her head. "Besides more to drink and another sandwich, anything else?"

"I think that'll probably finish me off for a little while." Buffy sighs quietly, closing her eyes as she enjoys the soft caress, trying to remember the last time she'd been touched, or touched someone else. Thinking about it, she finally remembers her brief interaction with the Immortal. What another brilliant relationship fiasco that was in her life of screw-ups.

"Would you prefer juice, milk or water this time around, sweetie?" Tara slowly pulls her hand away as she stands and gathers the tray, waiting patiently with the tray in her hand for Buffy to answer her.

"Of course. I'll be back in a few minutes, sweetie." Tara quirks her lips slightly before she quickly strides from the room to get food for them to eat, along with more milk for Buffy to drink.

Buffy shifts around to make herself more comfortable, wincing as she accidentally shifts her leg, feeling a streak of pain coming from the appendage. "Don't do that for a while yet." Buffy grumbles, reaching down and running her fingers over her thigh, it finally sinking in that she's lying there with nothing on, just covered with the sheets and covers. It finally dawning on her that Tara had probably been taking care of all her needs while she'd been unconscious if she hadn't left the room except for ten to fifteen minutes here and there, according to what Ingrid had said. Shifting the sheet to cover her body from her waist down, she decides to continue looking over her body.

Looking at her body, she sees where she'd obviously lost some weight in her time of being unconscious as she takes in her faded bruises. Poking at the still noticeable one on her abdomen, she pokes experimentally at the bruise, grunting quietly as she feels the tenderness in her abdomen.

"You had some internal damage, but the doctor didn't want to cut you open, and once she was apprised of your slayer healing and talking with Giles, she decided to wait and see how you healed." Tara explains as she walks back into the room seeing Buffy taking inventory of her body.

Buffy looks down as she continues to look over her body. Feeling the pinching in her ribs, she knows they'll probably need a couple more days to heal completely. Pulling her body up away from the pillows, she tries to reach behind her from where she feels her back itching.

"Easy, sweetie. Don't hurt yourself. Your back has pretty much just scabs left on it." Tara explains. "From the amount of bark on the back of your clothes, I would assume you came into intimate contact with a tree."

"Not that intimate, or I'd have bark in places I'd rather not discuss." Buffy jokes frowning as she shifts around. "It itches."

Tara laughs quietly at the slayer. "Bark and splinters in particular places doesn't do a hell of a lot for me, either. After all, I'm not much of one for the timber." Tara grins crookedly as Buffy jerks her head up to look at her in surprise. "Here, let me scratch your back a little, give you some relief."

"'Kay." Buffy groans quietly as Tara's nails scratch gently over her back. "To the left just a little…right there." Buffy practically purrs as Tara scratches over the place that had been bugging her. "Feels good. Thank you."

Tara pats Buffy's back and watches curiously as the slayer shifts back against the pillows, not bothering to cover herself as she accepts the partial sandwich she hands to her. Grabbing part of her sandwich, Tara watches as Buffy practically inhales her half. "Should I have made more than one additional sandwich?"

"Nah. I'll probably be ready to crash after this one." Buffy admits softly as she accepts the other half from Tara. Watching as the Wiccan slowly works her way through her sandwich. "You bathed me, changed my bandages and took care of me the whole time I've been here, haven't you?"

Tara blinks at Buffy and slowly nods her head. "I hope you don't mind…" Tara blushes and looks down at the bed.

Buffy reaches out and grasps Tara's knee. "Why would I mind, Tara? From the looks of it, you took pretty damn good care of me, though I don't like the idea you did it while not taking care of yourself."

Tara nibbles on her bottom lip for a few minutes. "I thought you might mind, because of my being a lesbian." Tara finally admits shyly.

"Mind?" Buffy questions, confused. "Well, I have to admit, you've made me wonder about my desirability, since you haven't hit on me once since I've come to, and I've been lying here pretty much naked as the day I was born…" Buffy tries to state seriously, not being able to keep the huge smile off her face as Tara jerks her eyes up, staring at her in confusion and disbelief.

"Maybe I should be worried that you're the Buffy I used to know. She would have probably run the other way at just the thought of being hit on by a woman, let alone joking about the fact that she HASN'T been hit on by a woman." Tara blinks in surprise at the laughing slayer.

"Tara, you should see the look on your face." Buffy's laughter slows down, but the merriment still shows in the hazel eyes. "Your being a lesbian has nothing to do with how well you took care of me, and that doesn't bother me at all." Buffy admits, shaking her head as she considers the woman. "You've become too serious, Tara. I think you've forgotten how to have fun." Buffy frowns as she looks at Tara. "You shut yourself off from life after you left Sunnydale, didn't you?"

Tara looks away, frowning heavily at the slayer's words. Not wanting to admit she's right, but knowing in her heart that she is. "Here, finish your milk. I brought a glass of water and a pitcher to leave here, in case you wake up thirsty. If you have to use the bathroom, use the pulley beside you. It's hooked to the bell in my room, and I'll come help you." Tara explains softly as she hands the milk to Buffy.

Buffy unconsciously growls at Tara as the Wiccan sidesteps her question. "We're going to talk and discuss things, Tara. I want to know everything that happened, what you've been doing with yourself since you left, and in turn I'll want to discuss with you a few things that you may not be aware of." Buffy admits quietly, frowning heavily at the thought of Willow and what she'd done.

"I've talked with Giles, Buffy. He's hit on the highlights." Tara admits softly, looking at Buffy.

Buffy blinks in surprise as she looks at the Wiccan. "You've talked with Giles?"

Tara nods her head and glances away, staring into the fire as she orders her thoughts. "Ingrid had me talk to him one of the times she made me leave your side. It would seem those two talked quite a bit, going over what happened, making sure I am who I'm supposed to be. Ingrid explained to me a lot of what Giles had told her about what happened to everyone after Sunnydale…" Tara blinks and looks at the hand that's come out to clasp her hand. "I had tried to contact the Watcher's Council to find you guys and see what happened…but I found out that it had exploded." Tara admits sadly. "I broke down after that." Tara shakes her head as she slowly looks up into sad hazel eyes.

"We have a lot to discuss, Tara." Buffy gently squeezes Tara's hand as she reaches to set her empty glass on the nightstand.

"Here." Tara takes the glass from Buffy and sets it back on the tray. Looking back at Buffy, she sees the tiredness in the slayer's eyes. "You need to sleep, sweetie." Tara helps Buffy lean forward as she reaches behind the slayer, pulling out the extra pillows before helping Buffy lie down. Hesitating for a few minutes, Tara brushes the backs of her fingers over Buffy's cheek. "I'm glad you made it out of Sunnydale, sweetie." Tara whispers, leaning down and brushing her lips softly over Buffy's forehead again before standing and grabbing the tray after placing the pitcher and glass on the nightstand for Buffy.

Buffy swallows hard at the feelings working their way to the surface. In a way surprised at how comfortable she seems with Tara, in another way not surprised at all. Raising the covers up to her neck, she watches as Tara finally leaves the room. Allowing her self to relax, she stares up at the ceiling as she considers the Wiccan, before the pills finish doing their job and drags her into the land of sleep.

Tara stretches as she slowly wakes up, looking over at the clock, surprised to see she'd slept for almost twelve hours straight. Rolling out of bed, she yanks on her robe and runs to the bathroom, showering quickly before coming back and dressing. Brushing her hair as she strides quickly through the Coven, making her way to Buffy's room, she eases the door open and peeks in, smiling softly at the sound of the light snores coming from the slayer. Easing back out, she makes her way to the kitchen, braiding her hair as she gets closer.

"Good morning." Tara smiles self-consciously at the head of the Coven as she works her way over to the stove.

"Morning." Ingrid watches as Tara comes into the kitchen, grabbing down pots and pans before gathering different ingredients out of the cabinets. Picking up her cup of coffee she watches as Tara tosses ingredients into a bowl after putting a pound of bacon in the skillet to fry. "What all are you fixing?"

Tara blushes lightly as she finishes throwing the ingredients together for pancakes. "Bacon, pancakes, scrambled eggs with cheese and toast." Tara explains as she grabs the eggs out of the refrigerator. "Her appetite was on its way back last night. She was able to eat two sandwiches and a couple mugs of broth, along with quite a few glasses of juice and milk." Tara explains softly as she turns the bacon before pouring pancake mixture into another skillet.

"Good. From what Mr. Giles said, that's half the battle. Her being awake and conscious, eating and drinking fluids will get her back on her feet in no time." Ingrid offers quietly as Tara nods her agreement.

"A slayer's healing abilities are remarkable. But it'll still take a while with her leg. The rest of her will probably be completely healed within a couple more days." Tara smiles over her shoulder. "Would you like me to fix you something while I'm cooking?"

"No, thank you. I had a couple pieces of toast earlier to help soak up the caffeine." Ingrid holds up her coffee mug, smiling at Tara. "Plus you know how we are around here. Help yourself is our motto."

"I know…but since I was already here." Tara shrugs her shoulders as she flips the pancake onto a plate before pouring more mix into the skillet. Quickly cracking the dozen eggs into a bowl, Tara whisks them together quickly and efficiently before setting them aside to flip the pancake and turn the bacon again. Turning to the side, she places a couple slices of bread in the toaster before snapping her fingers and pulling out the butter and strawberry jam from the refrigerator.

"She likes to spread jam on her pancakes instead of butter or syrup." Tara explains self-consciously as she continues to work on the slayer's breakfast.

"Okay." Ingrid purses her lips as she watches Tara pile up a plate with pancakes, putting two on another plate while placing the majority of the bacon with the huge stack of pancakes and the eggs with toast on another plate. Carefully arranging all the items on the tray, before reaching into the refrigerator and pulling out the half gallon of milk. Ingrid bites her lip to keep from laughing as Tara places two glasses on the plate with the small stack of pancakes while hooking the jug of milk through a finger and picking up the tray, carrying it quickly out of the room. "Surely to goodness, that small woman in there won't be able to eat all that!" Ingrid blinks at the thought.

Buffy moans quietly, as she can swear she smells food, her nose twitching as she slowly gains consciousness. She groans loudly as she has this uncontrollable urge to use the bathroom, also.

"What's the matter, sweetie?" Tara questions softly as she sets down the tray, placing the milk on the nightstand.

"Bathroom." Buffy hoarsely croaks out, before opening her eyes to stare in surprise at Tara. A small smile slowly working across her face as it sinks in again, that the Wiccan is alive.

"You have a couple choices." Tara explains softly as she kneels down beside the bed, pulling out a pan. "Bedpan or I can help float you to the bathroom."

Buffy looks in disgust at the bedpan, her eyes going from the pan to Tara's laughing countenance.

"I guess that answers that." Tara replaces the bedpan before walking over to the closet, pulling out a robe. Walking over to the bed, she whispers the incantation to make Buffy float, smirking, as Buffy's eyes get huge.

"Hey! When did you learn how to do that?" Buffy tosses off the covers, so she doesn't pull them from the bed.

"I could always float things, Buffy." Tara admits, smiling at the slayer as she shifts Buffy around so she can pull the robe on her, before looking at the slayer. "Want to hold on, or do you want to be pushed?" Tara offers, eyeing the slayer's grinning countenance.

"Ummm…" Buffy tilts her head in consideration. "Hold on the way there, then be pushed on the way back." Buffy finally decides, her eyes twinkling as Tara laughs.

"Grab onto something." Tara comes to stand in front of Buffy, her back to the slayer.

Buffy blinks in surprise as she stares at Tara's back. Eyeing the woman up and down noticing that Tara's hair has grown quite a bit longer. In fact surprised to notice it was down around the woman's waist even being braided. "Telling someone to grab onto something isn't a very bright thing to do, Tara." Buffy explains, trying not to laugh as she hooks her fingers through the loops of Tara's jeans.

"I somehow doubt you'd grab onto something…odd." Tara explains as she walks to the bathroom, gently easing the slayer inside. Making sure Buffy could reach the bars in the handicapped adapted bathroom she looks at Buffy for a moment. "You should be able to pull yourself around in here to take care of your business. I'll stand outside the door to give you a bit of privacy. Call for me, when you need me." Tara pats Buffy on the hand before easing out of the bathroom.

Buffy stares at the closed door for a few minutes before quickly taking care of the necessities, grimacing as she realizes she doesn't have her toothbrush. "Tara?" Buffy calls out, not surprised when the Wiccan opens the door almost immediately.

"Actually, I was wondering if you guys found my backpack. I really, really would like to brush my teeth." Buffy wrinkles her nose.

"Goddess, I'm sorry! I didn't even think about that. Yes, we did. I'll get it for you." Tara offers leaving the room quickly, to go back to Buffy's room.

Buffy blinks as one moment the Wiccan is there, the next gone. "Thanks." Buffy mumbles to the empty room.

"Here." Tara walks into the bathroom, the slayer's backpack in her hands. "No one went through it, do you want to get it out, or would you like me to?"

"Front pocket." Buffy smiles, pointing to the pocket, letting Tara know to go ahead and pull it out.

Tara unzips the pocket and pulls out the small travel sized toothbrush and toothpaste, pulling the cover off the tooth brush before leaning around Buffy to turn on the water, wetting the toothbrush before placing some toothpaste on the bristles. Handing the toothbrush to Buffy, she quickly tucks away the toothpaste, missing the surprised look on the slayer's face as she finally lifts the toothbrush up to her mouth.

Buffy slowly brushes her teeth, considering the Wiccan behind her. Feelings stirring inside her from the brief contact of Tara's body pressed up against hers. Finishing brushing her teeth, Buffy puts the cover back on the toothbrush, shifting her body around and tucking it away in the pocket of her backpack Tara's still holding. "All minty fresh, now." Buffy smiles, as Tara grins crookedly at her.

"Missed a little bit." Tara reaches up and brushes away a small bit of toothpaste from the corner of Buffy's mouth with her thumb. "Come on, slayer. Let's get you some food in that tummy of yours."

Buffy blushed lightly because her stomach had started growling loudly as Tara had wiped the extra toothpaste from her mouth. "Looks like you fixed a good amount."

"And you're probably going to eat a good amount." Tara pulls Buffy out of the bathroom before getting behind her and placing her hands on her waist to push her quickly down the hallway to her room.

"Don't get used to it. Knowing you, you'll be up on your own two feet in no time. But please, give it a little while. Your leg was badly broken, and even with slayer healing it might take the better part of a month for it to heal." Tara explains quietly.

"How long have I been here?" Buffy finally questions, having an idea with how well certain body parts were healed, but curious just the same.

"Just a little over a week." Tara admits softly. "When Giles called the Coven and told Ingrid that you hadn't checked in with him after a week, since you arrived here in Sweden, we went out looking for you."

"It was you there." Buffy looks at Tara, seeing the woman nod her head in answer as Tara pushes her onto the bed, making her comfortable before grabbing the pillows and propping her up, finally releasing the spell.

Tara places her plate and both glasses on the nightstand before settling the tray on Buffy's lap. "Dig in, sweetie." Tara smiles quickly at Buffy before she turns and fills Buffy's glass with milk, placing it within reach before pouring her self a half glass of milk, sitting down to eat her pancakes and bacon.

Buffy feels her mouth watering at the pile of food on her plate. "Thank you." Buffy mutters quickly spreading the jam across her pancakes before digging into her breakfast.

"You're welcome." Tara smiles as she slowly eats her pancakes, watching as Buffy makes short work of the pile of food on her tray. Watching as the slayer scoops some of the scrambled eggs, throwing it on the toast to make a sandwich and eating it, Tara shakes her head. "Do you need more, sweetie?"

Buffy grunts as she wipes up the last of the eggs with a piece of toast. "Maybe some more milk." Buffy mutters as she reaches for the glass, draining it.

"Do you want anything in particular for lunch? I'm going to make a run to the local market and stock up on some food for you. Ingrid was surprised at the amount of food I fixed. I don't think she thought you could eat it all." Tara jokes, looking at the now empty plates. "We all pretty much fend for ourselves around here. Occasionally a couple of us will get together and cook a big meal for everyone." Tara explains softly.

"Damn. Have Giles send money for my food and care. I didn't even think about that." Buffy's eyes look apologetically at Tara.

"I think it's all already been taken care of, sweetie." Tara stacks the plates and utensils on the tray before setting it down on the nightstand. Quickly filling the slayer's glass with the rest of the milk, she hands it to Buffy. "Do you want a couple more pain pills?" Tara questions, having seen the wince of pain on Buffy's face.

"Not right now." Buffy shakes her head as she shifts slightly. "I'd dearly love to take a shower, though." Buffy admits, frowning down at her body.

"Not with your leg like it is." Tara shakes her head. "I may be able to rig up something for you to get cleaned up in the Jacuzzi tub, but you'll need help." Tara admits quietly.

Buffy tilts her head as she looks at Tara. "I would assume you're the one that would help me, correct?"

"If you want." Tara nods her head quickly. "I can see if someone else is free to help you, if you'd prefer." Tara offers softly.

"Tara!" Buffy growls the Wiccan's name, watching as Tara jerks her head up in surprise. "I don't have a problem with you helping me, other than the normal problem with accepting help from anyone. Understand? Now, I have a personal question to ask."

Tara blinks in surprise at Buffy before she nods her head for the slayer to continue.

"Are you seeing anyone here?" Buffy waves her hand around, indicating the Coven.

"I'm not seeing anyone period." Tara tilts her head questioningly at the slayer.

"Just wanted to make sure I wasn't going to have someone coming in and kicking my ass for taking you away from them." Buffy smirks at Tara.

"That definitely isn't a worry." Tara sighs softly as she gathers the dirty dishes. "I'm going to go take care of these. Do you want me to bring you some juice or water?"

Buffy growls as she looks down at the bed. "Water would be great, thanks. I want you to figure out a way for me to get around without you having to magic me around everywhere."

Tara nods her head, smiling. "I figured you wouldn't like being cooped up in here for long."

"Let me get the dishes taken care of and I'll bring you a pitcher of water back. Think about what you'd like to eat so I can make a list before going to the market." Tara suggests as she makes her way to the door. "It's great seeing you again, Buffy. Though I wish it was under better circumstances." Tara whispers before quickly leaving the room.

Buffy stares at the empty doorway. "You have no idea how wonderful it is to see you again, Tara. I had no clue how much you meant to me until you were gone." Buffy whispers, feeling her heart contract at the thought. Turning her head, she looks out the window at the snow covered mountains, sighing quietly in silent contemplation.

Ingrid smiles as she watches Tara bundle up to go to the market. "Here's some money for the food."

Tara nods in thanks. "Keep an eye on her while I'm gone?" Tara questions hopefully.

"Tara, she's going to be fine." Ingrid shakes her head at the worried young woman. Seeing the blue eyes narrow on her, she sighs heavily. "I'll go keep her company. Be careful."

"I will. Do I need to pick up anything else?" Tara offers as she stands by the back door.

"No. I think Jessica is going to make a run for everything tomorrow, stock up for your young woman. I can't believe she ate everything you fixed." Ingrid shakes her head in amazement.

"She would have eaten more, if I had fixed it." Tara admits, smiling quickly. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

Ingrid chuckles softly as she watches Tara quickly stride out of the house and make her way down the walk. Turning, she quickly makes her way to Buffy's room. Knocking on the doorframe, she looks in at the slayer who's propped up, casually flipping through a book. "Care for some company?"

"Sure." Buffy smiles at the Coven leader and waves to the chair normally occupied by Tara.

"I was wondering if you were able to kill the demon?" Ingrid questions quietly as she settles on the chair, looking intently at the younger woman.

"Unfortunately, no. Unless I did more damage than I thought I did with the knife." Buffy admits. "As soon as I'm healed, I'm going after it again."

Ingrid purses her lips as she considers the slayer. "Not by yourself, you aren't. I'd like you to take a couple of my well-trained combative witches with you when you go."

Buffy starts to shake her head, when Ingrid narrows her gaze on her. "I'm sorry, but it isn't their responsibility to deal with this. It is mine, however."

"You don't really have a choice in the matter. And unless you want them just to follow you anyway, you'll let them come with you." Ingrid explains no room for argument in her tones.

"I'd feel guilty as hell if something happened to one of them." Buffy tries to explain, her eyebrows drawn in a deep frown. "How about you contact Giles and see if he can get another slayer or two to come here? Would that make you happy?"

"It would make me feel better. But I can guarantee you that there will be one person in particular that would still insist on going with you when you go out to hunt the demon." Ingrid relaxes back against the chair, as she waits to see what Buffy will say to that.

"There is no way in fucking hell Tara is going out there with me on the hunt." Buffy growls angrily, her eyes sparking.

Ingrid fights back the smile crossing her face as she sees the obvious care and worry in the slayer's eyes for her young charge. Having Tara come out of her shell and argue and fight with her about the slayer's care, she'd come to realize that there was a strength to the woman that Tara hid. Seeing the 'mama bear' mentality of Tara in regards to the slayer had her interest piqued. Now seeing the same mentality coming from the slayer, it confirms her suspicions, that the two women probably care more for each other than either one is willing to admit. "I don't think you'll have much choice in the matter. I've come to realize very recently that Tara can be extremely stubborn about getting her way in certain matters."

"Not this time." Buffy snarls as she shakes her head vehemently, wincing as it starts to pound. Unconsciously, Buffy raises her hand and presses it against her head.

"Here." Ingrid reaches into the drawer and pulls out the pain pills. Handing a couple to Buffy along with the glass of water, she urges the slayer to take them. Seeing Buffy about to argue, Ingrid raises an eyebrow. "I'll just sic Tara on you when she gets back. Let her know you were hurting and refusing to take the pain pills."

Buffy growls quietly at the head of the Coven, before finally tossing the pills in her mouth and swallows them with some water. "This is ridiculous." Buffy sets the water down, frowning heavily.

"She wasn't supposed to go out looking for you, but she did." Ingrid explains quietly. "Actually, she didn't give me any choice in the matter." Ingrid shrugs her shoulders as she looks at the slayer. "I can assure you, that you have a choice in the matter. Take her along with you, so that way you can keep her within your eyesight and make sure she's okay, or let her follow along behind you, tracking you and possibly get hurt."

Buffy snarls her lip at the thought. "Well, it isn't going to happen anytime soon. So maybe I'll have time to talk her out of it." Buffy taps her leg.

"Uh, huh." Ingrid smirks as she settles back in her chair, watching Buffy for a few minutes. "How well do you know Tara?"

Buffy sighs quietly as she settles the robe a little more securely around her body. "Not as well as I should." Buffy finally admits after a few minutes of consideration. "I know she's a wonderful person. That she'll do anything for a friend, and she has a shitty family. When she died…when her doppelganger or whatever it was, died…I realized that I never knew how much she meant to the rest of us…Now, come to find out that the woman that I had become a little bit closer to wasn't actually Tara at all…" Buffy takes a deep breath, shaking her head in disgust. "I can't believe that none of us realized that wasn't really Tara. What the hell does that say about us as friends and loved ones?"

Ingrid leans forward and places a calming hand on the slayer's tense shoulder. "Buffy, from what Mr. Giles and I have been able to deduce from what happened, the young lady that was impersonating Tara probably thought she actually was Tara. Mr. Giles was going to research in depth the duplication process, to see who or what could have made that version of Tara, though we both believe it was The First. Don't beat yourself up about it, just be thankful that the woman you wanted to get to know better is here now, giving you the chance to do just that."

Buffy slowly relaxes as the Coven leader's words sink into her mind. Slowly turning her gaze on the older woman, she smiles. "Thanks. I have a tendency to dwell on the 'what could have been' instead of what can be." Buffy admits softly.

"I think all of us do that to a certain degree." Ingrid tilts her head as she considers Buffy for a few long minutes. "How do you feel about her being gay?"

"Feel? Why would I feel anything?" Buffy questions curiously blinking at the strange question.

"Just a question. There are a lot of people that have problems with gays and lesbians. And from what I can gather, though she hasn't said anything, Tara had some problems with how people felt in the past." Ingrid shrugs as she looks at Buffy. "I'm just looking out for her well-being to tell you the truth, Buffy."

"I would never knowingly hurt her." Buffy whispers, shaking her head. "I would just like the chance to get to know her again. Learn about the woman she's become in the years since she left."

"I'm sure you'll get your chance, Buffy." Ingrid smiles softly at the young woman as she watches Buffy turn introspective and quiet.

Tara laughs quietly as Buffy practically runs over one of the other women that live at the Coven. "I'm going to take away your driving privileges if you keep that up!"

Buffy looks guiltily at the blonde Wiccan. "Remember, I'm the dangerous one when it comes to driving four wheels." Buffy smirks as she spins the wheelchair and heads towards Tara who's across the room by the window.

"Forgot you didn't have a license." Tara jokes, smiling as the slayer comes to a skidding halt in front of her. "But I see you're getting the hang of it."

"Only a couple days and a few witches missing some toes." Buffy jokes looking up at the Wiccan. "What'cha doing?"

"Well, I heard a little terror was running loose in the house, so I figured I'd protect my toes by curling up here and reading." Tara smirks as Buffy growls playfully and maneuvers her wheelchair to where she's right beside Tara, who's perched on the windowsill.

Tapping Tara's leg with her finger she looks up hopefully at the Wiccan. "Can I talk you into making me something sweet? I'll do just about anything, if you do."

"Nuts, no nuts, cream cheese icing?" Tara offers, tilting her head as she looks over the healthier looking slayer.

Tara reaches out and tweaks Buffy's nose. "You're spoiled. Just for that, you're going to help."

"Uh, uh. Not a good idea…I'm even more dangerous in the kitchen than I am on four wheels." Buffy rolls back and turns the wheelchair to the middle of the library and spins it around, laughing as she catches one of the other witches poking her head in before hurrying away. "I think I've got them all scared."

Tara places her book on the windowsill as she makes a wide birth around the slayer towards the door. "All the people living in the house and within a fifty mile radius know to stay away from a short little blonde-haired menace!" Tara chuckles wickedly as she quickly hurries from the room as she hears the squeal from the slayer.

"TARA! NOT NICE!" Buffy quickly trails after the Wiccan, knowing she has a good long hallway to catch up to her with. Grinning wickedly as she quickly catches up to the hurrying Wiccan, she maneuvers the wheelchair and has her right leg alongside the outside of Tara and quickly hooks her left leg around the Tara, pulling her into her lap

Squeaking Tara finds herself wrapped up in Buffy's arms, with both of them barreling down the hallway. "Buffy!" Tara covers her face, whimpering as she waits for them to run into something.

"Don't trust me?" Buffy laughs and pulls Tara more firmly against her and slows the wheelchair down, rolling them gently into the kitchen. Pulling it to a stop, she grins as Tara finally uncovers her face and looks over her shoulder at her, grinning hugely.

Smacking Buffy gently on the shoulder, Tara starts laughing. "What has gotten into you?"

"Don't know." Buffy grins and shrugs her shoulders. "I haven't had this much fun in…" Buffy trails off as she tilts her head thinking. "Damn, I can't remember how long." Buffy blinks in surprise, thinking for a few minutes, realizing she hasn't taken time out to just enjoy life and laugh in forever. Even when she took off for three years traveling around, she hadn't had this much fun. Buffy unconsciously hugs Tara to her, innately understanding that the Wiccan is the reason why.

Tara feels her heart skip a beat as Buffy hugs her tightly. Tara closes her eyes and allows her self to enjoy the strength of the arms around her and the face gently rubbing against her back. Feelings she thought she'd locked away so many years ago to never be felt again start to surface. Swallowing hard as she thinks to herself it's just her luck to start to feel again, and it's for the one woman she considers the most heterosexual woman she's ever known. Resting her hands on top of Buffy's arms, she squeezes the slayer's forearms gently.

Buffy sighs as she feels the gentle squeeze, inhaling deeply of the Wiccan's scent before finally easing her grasp from around Tara. Watching as Tara gently leaves her lap Buffy runs a hand through her hair as her eyes trail over the Wiccan's form. The firm, yet soft flesh she'd felt being hidden by the loose clothes Tara's wearing. "So, what are you going to make me do?" Buffy finally questions, trying to sidetrack the thoughts that are starting to swirl around in her mind.

Tara shakily runs a hand down her skirt as she keeps her back to the slayer as she tries to compose herself. "How about chopping the nuts to go in the brownies for starters?" Tara starts digging around in the cabinets, pulling out the ingredients.

"Would you like the brownies to be extra chewy?" Tara questions softly, finally looking over her shoulder at Buffy, her eyes caught by the soft, beautiful smile.

"That sounds good." Buffy watches curiously as Tara places some nuts in front of her along with a cutting board and knife.

"I expect all your fingers to still be in good working order after chopping those, understand?" Tara quirks an eyebrow at the slayer, chuckling as Buffy hold her hands up looking at her fingers like she's counting them.

"So, I start off with eight fingers and two thumbs, I'm supposed to end with the same amount, right?" Buffy wiggles her fingers as her eyes twinkle.

"That's the general idea." Tara nods her head, smirking at the slayer. "Get busy, slayer." Tara orders as she turns back, starting to dump the ingredients into a bowl, chuckling quietly at Buffy's mumbling.

"Get busy, slayer, she says. I kill vampires, werewolves, demons, Hell Gods, and she orders me around like a kitchen scullery maid. These hands are lethal killing machines…and I'm chopping nuts. What is the world coming to?" Buffy grumbles, the smile on her face coming through in her words. Buffy finishes chopping the nuts, laying the knife on the cutting board as she relaxes back and watches Tara. Crossing her arms over her chest, Buffy doesn't think before she questions Tara. "Will you come back to England with me?"

Tara stops mixing the ingredients at the slayer's question, closing her eyes as she takes a deep breath. "I…I don't know." Tara whispers quietly in answer.

"I'm sorry, that was a selfish question." Buffy stiffens slightly as she looks away from Tara, glancing outside.

"It wasn't selfish, Buffy." Tara slowly turns and looks at the slayer. Seeing the closed off look on Buffy's face, the same look when she doesn't want anyone to know what she's thinking or feeling, the look she uses when she's fighting evil. It isn't Buffy she's looking at, but The Slayer. "Buffy…you need to understand that I came to the Coven to heal."

"I understand, Tara." Buffy turns her head, capturing blue eyes with hers. "I also understand the fact that it's been almost seven years since you left. If you haven't healed in that time, you're not going to. And, God forgive me, but hiding and wasting your life away is fucking ridiculous." Buffy growls angrily as she shifts her wheelchair around and quickly rolls out of the room, not knowing where her anger is coming from but not able to fight it back. Rolling into her room, she slams the door as she stares down at the splints supporting her leg. Growling angrily, she reaches down and rips them from her leg. "Been three weeks and three weeks is too fucking long." Buffy gingerly shifts her leg onto the floor, rubbing her thigh and leg to help with the circulation.

Locking the wheels on the wheelchair, she pushes herself up. Balancing on her good leg as she gradually puts more weight on her right, frowning as she feels the weakness in the leg. Gritting her teeth, Buffy shifts more of her weight onto the leg, growling at the sharp pain emanating from it.

Tara unconsciously wraps her arms around her waist as she watches Buffy barrel out of the kitchen, surprised at the slayer's words and the anger in the hazel depths. Closing her eyes as she feels the tears slowly gather, Tara leans back against the counter and wipes the tears from her face as she considers Buffy's words.

"She's right, you know." Ingrid calmly walks into the room, having been in the room next door, heard everything and seen the angry retreat of the slayer. Watching as Tara jerks her head up to stare at her with sad blue eyes, Ingrid shakes her head. "You've been hiding away here, for a very long time. You have nothing left to learn from us, Tara. You're a very talented, strong Wiccan. And I hope you understand what I'm going to say is for your own good." Ingrid takes a deep breath as she looks into scared blue eyes. "When Buffy leaves, I want you to leave also."

Tara's mouth opens and closes as she feels her heart constrict. "But…" Tara's so stunned she doesn't know what to say to the Coven leader. "You're kicking me out." Tara finally whispers in a heart-broken tone.

"Like a mother bird, with her baby…Yes I am. It's time you flew on your own, Tara. I'm pushing you out, because I've let you stay here well past your time. You should have left many years ago, and selfishly, I liked you being here. You're a great help in so many ways…" Ingrid shakes her head, smiling softly at the Wiccan. "I'd love for you to come and visit us whenever you want. But it's time to try your wings." Ingrid doesn't have the heart to tell the Wiccan that she doesn't belong with them. She belongs out in the world with people that bring her to life and make her feel and care.

Tara stares after Ingrid as she leaves the kitchen. Chewing on her bottom lip, Tara shakily heads out of the kitchen, ignoring the brownie fixings and works her way to Buffy's room. Frowning at the closed door as the slayer always leaves it open. Leaning her head against the cool wood, Tara tries to get control of her emotions. After a few minutes she knocks on the door lightly. Not hearing anything, Tara calls out quietly. "Buffy, can I come in?"

"Not a good idea." Buffy growls angrily, her eyes flashing towards the door as she slowly works her way around the room, using the walls, the furniture and anything else that's handy to help support her as she works on building the strength back up in her leg.

Tara leans against the door, staring at the dark wood. "I'm afraid." Tara finally admits softly, the tears coming to her eyes again. "I've become comfortable in my life here. There's no expectations, no worries, and I'm not chancing my heart again here."

Buffy makes her way slowly towards the door as she listens to Tara. Stopping beside it, she considers her next words. "Are you happy here, Tara?" Buffy finally questions softly.

"I'm comfortable here." Tara whispers again. "I'm not happy, I'm not sad…I'm comfortable."

"So, pretty much one day is just like the other?" Buffy presses her forehead against the door, unaware of the fact that she's almost mirroring Tara exactly.

"That sums it up nicely. At least until you arrived." Tara chuckled sadly. "You took my comfortable life and have turned it upside down."

"Good." Buffy allows a small smile to cross her face at the Wiccan's admittance. "Would you come back with me, Tara?" Buffy finally questions the Wiccan again, softly.

Tara takes a deep breath as she considers the slayer's words. "I'm leaving, one way or another when you leave, Buffy. Ingrid pretty much just gave me my walking papers. It isn't fair for me to go with you just because I don't have anywhere else to go, and I want you to know that."

Buffy pulls her lips back away from her teeth in a silent snarl. "So, now you're not going with me just to prove something?"

"I don't want you to think that's the reason I'm going with you, Buffy. I don't want you to think I chose to go with you because I didn't have any other choice." Tara tries to explain.

"There's always choices, Tara. You could hike across the country, working odd jobs if you wanted to. I know whatever you set your mind to, you could do, so that is so not even a consideration as to you coming with me or not. Third time, will you come back with me, Tara?" Buffy finally questions for the last time, holding her breath as she waits for the answer, realizing that she wants Tara to come back for more reasons than she can count.

Tara presses her hand against the door as she slowly nods her head. "Yes, I'll come back with you, Buffy."

"Yes!" Buffy hisses loudly as she shifts from the door and opens it quickly, surprised as Tara almost falls in the room, catching herself at the last minute.

"Goddess, you could have warned…Why the hell are you up on your leg? Where're your splints?" Tara frowns heavily as she looks at Buffy, her eyes looking around the room, seeing the splints in pieces by Buffy's wheelchair. "Damn it! You may be the slayer, but it's still going to take a while for your leg to heal!" Tara wraps her arm quickly around Buffy, practically lifting the slayer against her side as she pretty much carries her back to her bed, getting her situated on the covers as she scowls down at the slayer.

"It's had long enough, Tara. I need to start using it to build up the strength in it again." Buffy pats her leg as she looks at the Wiccan. "I've babied it long enough. I need to start using it."

Tara closes her eyes and rubs her head at the slayer's stubbornness. "Fine, but you're going to use either crutches or a cane. And I mean use them, not trip people with them." Tara opens her eyes and pins the slayer with her blue eyes.

"Yes, mom." Buffy starts to grin as she sees the fire in Tara's blue eyes. "Can I have a cane, please? And how long before the brownies are done?"

Tara throws her hands up in the air. "I'll find you a cane. The brownies aren't even in the oven yet, so it's going to be a while." Tara turns on her heel and heads towards the door. "Goddess save me from stubborn slayers."

Buffy smirks as Tara strides out of the room, lacing her fingers together behind her head Buffy's smirk turns to a huge grin as she stares up at the ceiling. "I'm going to have to call Giles and tell him I'll be coming back with Tara. That way he can have a plane ticket ready for her when we get to the airport after taking care of this damn demon."

Buffy whimpers loudly at the painful cramp in the calf of her right leg, having overdone it with hiking and running around outside, testing the strength of her leg.

Tara quickly makes her way towards Buffy's room, having seen the slayer come in from her exercise, shaking her head at the stubborn slayer. The woman had been with them for five weeks now, after the Krinakill Demon had almost killed her. Hearing the loud whimper coming from Buffy, Tara runs into the room, seeing Buffy hunched up, grasping for her calf.

"Oh, sweetie. Take your pants off." Tara orders as she runs back out of the room.

Buffy groans as she rolls out of the bed, whimpering louder as the cramp tightens even more in her calf. Quickly unbuttoning and unzipping her pants, she shoves them down her legs, groaning as she realizes she didn't pull off her hiking boots. Looking up as Tara comes sliding back into the room.

"Sit." Tara orders and quickly kneels, untying and yanking off the slayer's boots before pulling her pants the rest of the way off. Grasping the slayer's legs, she swings the slayer around, so her legs are on the bed climbing into the bed and placing Buffy's right leg in her lap as she pours some warming lotion into her hand, rubbing them together quickly and starting to work over the knotted up muscle. Wincing as she hears Buffy bite back a cry of pain. "Sorry."

"Gotta hurt to make it better." Buffy grunts and flops back onto the bed, throwing her forearm across her eyes as Tara's fingers start to dig into the muscle, loosening it.

After roughly fifteen minutes, Tara sighs as she feels the muscle finally unknot and loosen. Gentling her fingers, she reaches for the lotion, pouring a little more in her hand as she works on the whole calf, hoping to relax the muscle the rest of the way. "You overdid it." Tara comments quietly.

"Yeah." Buffy agrees softly as she pulls her arm away from her eyes, now that the pain isn't excruciating. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Tara looks up, smiling quickly at the slayer before turning her gaze back to what she's doing. "That was a nasty one. You actually might be feeling that deep in the muscle for a little while."

Buffy nods her agreement as she watches Tara silently. Having spent the better portion of the past four weeks with the Wiccan, not counting The first week she'd been unconscious, Buffy realizes she's come to care for the Wiccan immensely, the two women having talked extensively about anything and everything that had happened in their lives. Buffy had cautiously brought up about her doppelganger's death, and Willow's reaction. Tara had turned pale, having known what happened, but not the details. When Tara had explained to Buffy what exactly Willow had done, Buffy had been surprised, to say the least, that Willow would do something like that. When she'd turned angry at the thought of Willow's taking Tara's free will away from her, Tara had calmed her down whispering that it was over and done with a long time ago.

Buffy had finally told Tara about Kennedy and Willow, the two women having stuck together all these years, surprising her. Buffy had admitted her misgivings about the slayer to Tara, how she thought at first that Willow was just another in a long line of Kennedy's conquests…and that she had honestly thought that maybe Willow was using Kennedy to get over Tara. But over the years, Buffy had come to the conclusion that the two really did love each other. Maybe not in the way Tara and Willow had, but in a Kennedy and Willow way, which was their way and the right way. Tara had surprised her when she'd admitted that she was happy Willow had found someone to spend her life with.

When Buffy had questioned Tara if she'd had anyone to love, the Wiccan had just smiled sadly and shook her head. Explaining to Buffy that she hadn't been willing to risk being hurt again like Willow had hurt her. Admitting that she'd pretty much locked her heart away and was just taking life one day at a time, the days slowly becoming months then years.

Buffy shakes herself out of her musings as she feels Tara pat her knee gently. "That feels wonderful, Tara. Thank you."

"No thanks necessary." Tara smiles as she looks into Buffy's hazel eyes. "Anytime, sweetie. My door is always open to you."

Buffy shifts her body up, and props her hands behind her, to hold herself up as she looks at Tara for a few minutes. "Is there any way I can talk you into staying here when I go after the Krinakill Demon?"

"No." Tara answers calmly chuckling at the disgruntled look crossing the slayer's face. "I'll do a locator spell on him, to help get the general area he's in, to help out. Plus I've picked up a few tricks in the past few years. I think I might be of some help to you, if you need it." Tara's eyes twinkle as she looks at Buffy.

Buffy's mind literally drops into the gutter at the Wiccan's words. "I'm sure you could." Buffy roughly whispers, blinking and shaking her head at the thought of how helpful Tara could be. "Ummm. I think I'll be ready in a couple days to go after it. If you want to let whoever's going with, know…"

"I will." Tara pats Buffy's leg again as she shifts off the bed, grabbing the warming lotion before reaching down and grabbing Buffy's jeans, tossing them on the bed. "Would you like me to scrounge you up something to eat?"

"I'll come with." Buffy offers as she grabs her jeans, pulling them on her legs before standing and pulling them the rest of the way up. "It'll probably be good to work my leg, that way it doesn't stiffen back up on me too soon."

Tara smiles and nods her head in agreement. "Come on, sweetie. Let's see what we can come up with."

Buffy turns worried eyes on Tara as they work their way deeper into the forest. After Tara and Ingrid both had talked to her about Tara's abilities, she'd finally allowed the Wiccan to come with her. After much more discussion, along with some additional weapons everyone had scrounged up, Buffy had been adamant about anyone else going. The smaller the group was the better chance of catching the demon unaware.

Tara had sequestered with a couple of the other witches for two days, worrying Buffy until Ingrid had explained they were making up some different spells from scratch to make sure they worked properly that would be of immense help with fighting this particular demon. Buffy had been surprised when she found out they had kept her original clothing, which had some of the demons gore on it, able to use it for a more accurate spell, letting them know where the demon is within five yards.

When Buffy had questioned how Tara had found her so quickly, Tara had blushed and finally admitted that she knew her signature so well, that she didn't need any additional help to locate her that she could pinpoint where she was within a foot with a locator spell. Buffy had been surprised and curious at the Wiccan's admittance.

"He's still moving away from us. We've closed the distance, but he's roughly five miles ahead of us." Tara admits as she looks at Buffy, seeing the worried hazel eyes looking at her.

"We're not going to get to him tonight." Buffy finally takes a deep breath, knowing it was wishful thinking that they could get to the demon and kill him within a day's time.

"No. We need to start looking for somewhere to hole up for the night." Tara admits softly as she tucks away the special map before hefting her backpack and threading it through her arms, buckling it around her waist. Looking up at the sky, Tara frowns heavily seeing the clouds slowly rolling in. "And quickly." Tara turns worried eyes on Buffy. "I think we're in for a snow storm."

"Trust me, I don't think it's going to be good. The most closed in area we can find, the better off we'll be." Tara explains hurriedly. "Damn weather satellites can't foretell anything." Tara growls as she heads in the general direction the demon was at a good clip, keeping her eyes open for somewhere they can shelter from the oncoming storm.

"How bad do you think it'll be?" Buffy questions as she strides beside Tara, sharpening her eyesight as she looks intently for some kind of rock formation that might help protect them from the elements. "Should we start gathering up deadwood on our way for looking for a spot?" Buffy questions quickly.

Tara shakes her head, before glancing at Buffy. "No. There's enough brush and fallen trees pretty much all around that we shouldn't have problems finding wood. I'm more worried about finding something halfway decent to use as protection. The small pup tent isn't going to help out in this case, at least not on its own." Tara admits quietly.

Buffy quirks her lips as Tara picks up her pace, the two women scrambling over deadfall and working their way over rougher terrain as they keep their eyes open. As the sky starts to darken, they both unconsciously look up, seeing the dark clouds starting to roll in. As Buffy growls and brings her eyes back down, she stops and narrows her gaze on something that caught her eye. "I can't tell from here if it'll work or not, but we might as well try." Buffy motions over to the left, knowing that it wasn't in line with where they were trying to track the demon, but their own safety being more important.

"Lead the way I can't see it from here." Tara explains softly, following after the quickly scrambling slayer as they pick up the speed to head towards whatever it was Buffy had seen.

Buffy bites her lip as she sees the huge fallen tree, sighing in relief at the huge branches that will provide a natural shelter, with the trunk of the tree a good four feet off the ground, where it was caught quite a ways away in the neck of another tree. Setting down her backpack, Buffy grabs a hold of a branch and swings up onto the thick trunk, jumping up and down on it for all she's worth, making sure it's sturdy and not going anywhere. Jumping back down after about five minutes, grinning at a bemused Tara, Buffy shrugs. "I wanted to make sure it wasn't going to fall down on us in the middle of the night and crush us."

"I would say it's a safe bet that it won't." Tara chuckles quietly as she grabs out a small limb saw from her pack, quickly working her way under the tree and starting to saw some of the dead limbs away, giving them wood for the fire, along with a cleared space to set up the tent underneath the tree.

Buffy grabs the limbs and starts breaking them apart into smaller sections to be used as firewood, stacking the items up neatly against the side before heading back out from under the tree. Looking around she starts grabbing rocks and bringing them into their make-shift shelter. "Where are you planning on setting up the tent?" Buffy questions softly as she watches Tara survey the area after her question.

Tara looks at the ground and kneels down, clearing away the area trying to look for a less rocky spot to make things a little easier on them. Finding an area that only has a few rocks Tara quickly digs them out, tossing them a couple yards behind her, more towards Buffy before she fills the holes with some of the dirt, trying to make it somewhat level. "I think this is going to be the best spot." Tara finally stands, unconsciously brushing the dirt off her jeans as she watches Buffy nod her head as she considers how far away from the 'opening' the tent was going to be.

Looking up into the tree limbs, Buffy works her way towards Tara and stops about three yards from her, seeing a decent opening between the thick branches. "If I trim a little more away from there, do you think that might be a good area for the smoke to escape?" Buffy points to the area she's talking about.

Tara comes to stand besides Buffy looking up at what the slayer is looking at. "That should work. Let me trim a little more away from it, while you get the fire pit prepared." Tara grins at Buffy before she grabs her saw and works on carefully cutting away little sections widening the area hopefully enough to where they won't be choked out with smoke.

Buffy brings more rocks in for their make-shift fire place, making it wide enough to hopefully fill up with wood to keep them decently warm in what will be freezing temperatures, yet keep the tree providing them shelter from catching fire. Starting with the smaller, more brittle brush, Buffy pulls out a lighter. Looking up quickly at Tara as the Wiccan laughs quietly at her.

"Sweetie, go ahead and get the wood all situated for a nice warming blaze, I'll get it going." Tara wiggles her fingers at Buffy, grinning lopsidedly at the slayer.

"Smart assed witch." Buffy grumbles as she tucks away the lighter and starts stacking up the wood carefully before eyeing what they have for wood. "Just to be on the safe side, I saw some decent sized limbs that had fallen a short distance away, I'm going to drag them over here and work on cutting them and breaking them up for use, okay?"

"That's probably a good idea, sweetie." Tara admits softly, her eyes looking up at Buffy, showing a deep worry. "There's a chance that the storm blowing in is going to be a good one. It's getting to the end of the stormy season, but Mother Nature likes to usually go out with a bang around here." Tara explains.

Buffy swallows and nods her head before quickly trotting out, dragging all the branches she can find close by under the shelter of the huge downed tree. Working her way further out, she drags one good-sized tree that had fallen, behind her to their temporary home. Bracing it somewhat up against the opening to hopefully help with the wind and snow that might whip through. Pulling off her heavy parka since she'd worked up a decent sweat, she makes her way back through the area lighted by the fire, smiling at Tara who had thrown up the small pup tent and taken off her own heavy parka. Peeking inside the tent, she chuckles seeing Tara's jacket lying on the floor. Throwing her jacket in with Tara's, Buffy comes out and crouches beside the Wiccan.

"Figure we'll need all the help we can get to help stay warm, but I know I sure as hell wouldn't be able to sleep with that damn thing on." Tara admits softly as she digs out a couple sandwiches, handing them to Buffy.

"Only one." Buffy hands the other one back to Tara shaking her head. "I know we have bars, jerky and other things to eat, but I don't want to take a chance on running out of food, in case we do get a bad storm." Buffy explains her reasoning.

Tara quickly tucks the sandwich away as she places the backpack against one of the limbs as she stares into the fire. "I know you've talked to Giles, what are you two wanting me to do when I come back with you?" Tara questions softly as she finally sits down, wrapping her arms around her legs and resting her chin on her knees.

"What do you want to do, Tara? Did you ever finish college?" Buffy looks curiously at Tara.

"Would you like to finish? I'm sure there's some way we can get your old transcripts situated for you." Buffy doesn't say it, but she's thinking Willow would be able to do her magic on the computer and reinstate her back to the land of the living.

Tara chuckles sadly and shakes her head. "That's another lifetime ago, Buffy. I'm a different person now, and wouldn't even know where to begin with taking courses today."

Buffy nods her understanding as she slowly works her way through the sandwich. "Well, you know we can always use an adept magic user around, plus researcher…" Buffy bites her lip as she thinks for a few minutes. "Hell, you'd make a wonderful Watcher, to tell you the truth."

Tara chuckles and shakes her head. "No thank you. I'd rather not have my ass handed to me by a fourteen year old superhuman, thank you very much."

Buffy smirks and glances towards the Wiccan. Shifting slightly, Buffy faces Tara a little more fully, watching the flames flicker over the Wiccan's face, the blue eyes looking darker than normal. "How about having your ass handed to you by a twenty-seven year old superhuman?" Buffy offers, her eyebrow cocked as she looks at Tara.

"You're wanting to handle my ass?" Tara jokes, laughing loudly as Buffy's mouth drops in surprise at her words. Deciding to pick even more on the slayer, Tara shifts, getting more comfortable, kicking her legs out to the other side of the fire, while her upper body moves closer to Buffy's. "I must say, I've never really had anyone 'handle' my ass, but I'm always up for experimentation." Tara bites her lip to keep from laughing as Buffy whimpers quietly and rubs her eyes.

"Are you sure you're the real Tara Maclay?" Buffy squeaks looking away as Tara's words make her heart beat even faster and puts pictures in her head that make her want to take the Wiccan up on her words.

"Yep. And this is all your fault. You wanted me to join the living again, so you've got to take me the way I am." Tara watches the slayer curiously, seeing the light from the fire flickering over the slayer's face, making Tara blink as she can swear she sees a look of hunger crossing Buffy's face. Putting it down to wishful thinking and the flames playing tricks, Tara reaches back and grabs a couple more sticks, gently placing them on the fire that was slowly burning down.

"What's it like?" Buffy questions softly, her eyes glancing at Tara for a moment, before sliding away to stare into the flames.

Tara blinks and furrows her brow, trying to figure out what Buffy's talking about. "What's what like, Buffy?"

Buffy plucks at her jeans as she shifts uncomfortably. Taking a deep breath, she makes eye contact with Tara before whispering. "What's it like to make love to and be made love to by a woman?"

Tara stares at the slayer in stunned surprise as the question reverberates around in her head as she looks into Buffy's cautious, wary hazel eyes. Swallowing as she tries to figure out where the question is coming from, Tara finally shakes her head. "Are you asking as an in comparison to being made love to by a man? Because I can't honestly tell you that."

Buffy shakes her head and sighs quietly. "No, I wasn't expecting a comparison…I was just wondering what its like."

Tara looks back into the fire and runs a hand over her chin as she thinks about what the slayer is asking. "I guess it wouldn't be that dissimilar from being made love to by a man, with certain differences." Tara waves her hand down her body.

Tara chuckles and slowly relaxes. "It can be sweet and tender, it can be hard and fast, it can be rough…I guess what I'm trying to say is that it can be whatever you want it to be, Buffy. It all depends on your partner." Tara shrugs as she glances back at Buffy. "That didn't help you much, did it?"

Buffy sighs and slowly shakes her head as she catches Tara's eyes with hers. "I don't know what I'm looking for, to tell you the truth, Tara."

Tara stares at Buffy for a few minutes, before questioning softly. "You didn't mean that in just a curious way, did you?"

Buffy drops her eyes and slowly shakes her head. "I've never been truly happy in any of my relationships, Tara. I realized something while being at the Coven." Buffy trails her fingers through the dirt under her for a few minutes, getting her thoughts in order. "I've been happier here in the past month with you, than I've ever been in the past."

Tara swallows hard at the slayer's words as she continues to watch her. "It could just be because you had no expectations and nothing to do but have fun and pick on people, Buffy."

Buffy snaps her eyes up to look at Tara intently, wondering if that's what the Wiccan believes. "Tara, I went off on my own for three years, traveling around the world with no expectations and nothing to do but have fun. I was fucking miserable. But since I wanted a vacation away from the 'slaying', that's what I did until I was half out of my mind with boredom. There's something about being with you that makes me happy." Buffy taps her chest above her heart then taps her head. "Makes me happy in both these places."

Tara shakes her head softly at Buffy. "That doesn't mean that you would want me as a lover, Buffy, if that's what you're thinking. It just means that you enjoy being around me, and you like me." Tara tries to explain, her heart hurting at hearing the words coming from her own lips.

Buffy considers Tara for a few minutes, looking at her across the short distance that separates them. Seeing something flicker in Tara's eyes, knowing it's not the flames from the fire causing it. "What about you, Tara?" Buffy holds her breath, waiting for her answer.

"Do you want me as a lover? Do you like being around me and do you actually like me?" Buffy's voice has dropped, her voice becoming rough with the feelings working their way through her.

Tare stares stunned at Buffy. Not knowing how to answer the slayer's questions, her mind scattered to the four winds, while her heart is trying to pound out of her chest, trying to get her to admit her feelings for the slayer.

Buffy sees the fear in the blue eyes, but as she continues to look into the blue depths, she also sees the flare of desire, want…Buffy stops as she finally realizes what else she sees in Tara's eyes. Love. Pure, unadulterated love staring back at her from the blue depths, before Tara shifts to look away. "No you don't." Buffy growls quietly, closing the distance between them, reaching up to gently capture Tara's chin in her hand, urging her to look at her again. Staring intently into the blue depths, she watches as the worry and fear are finally overshadowed by the desire and love. "Do you like…" Buffy inhales deeply before starting again. "Tara, do you love me?" Buffy hoarsely questions, seeing the answer in Tara's eyes. Closing the short distance between them, Buffy slides her hand from Tara's chin, through the silken strands to cup the back of Tara's head, capturing the soft lips in a gentle, tender kiss.

Tara whimpers quietly as Buffy's lips caress over hers in one of the gentlest, most loving kisses she's ever remembered receiving. Raising her free hand, Tara cups the side of Buffy's face in her palm, gently brushing her thumb over the velvety feeling cheek as she captures Buffy's full bottom lip between hers, gently sucking on it, placing one more soft kiss on her lips, before easing back a short distance, dragging her eyes open to stare into sparkling hazel eyes.

Buffy blinks a couple times as she drops her eyes down to Tara's pouty lips, wanting to feel the softness of them against hers again. Groaning quietly, Buffy leans back in, capturing Tara's lips in a firmer, more exploring kiss as she drags her tongue first over Tara's bottom lip, then her top lip, before running it along the seam of Tara's lips pressed together, growling hungrily as Tara opens to her questing tongue.

Groaning loudly into the slayer's mouth as she strokes her tongue against Buffy's, Tara unconsciously presses up and into Buffy's body, the two women shifting, Tara's body brushing lightly over Buffy's as the kiss goes from a tender, exploring kiss to more, a wanting, firmer, desire oriented kiss.

"God!" Buffy finally breathes out, dragging deep draughts of air into her lungs as they finally break the kiss as the need for oxygen becomes too much for the two women.

Tara drops her forehead to Buffy's shoulder as she feels her body coming alive again.

"Your lips are dangerous." Buffy wraps her arms around Tara, pulling her down on top of her, hugging her tightly. "Registering them as lethal weapons when we get home." Buffy pants out quietly, closing her eyes.

Tara chuckles softly as she runs her hands through Buffy's hair. "Time to back off?"

"God, no! I was just wondering if we should move this into the pup tent and how much wood we need to put on this fire to keep this place warm when we're collapsed in a pile of sweaty slayer and Wiccan parts spread all over and no energy to pull the covers over our bodies." Buffy's head is turned to the fire, her voice serious.

Tara chuckles, the chuckles turning into quiet laughs before her whole body starts to shake as she hears Buffy huff at her.

"I know…" Tara laughs all the harder, hugging Buffy tightly. "You must have some serious faith in me, if you think I'll be able to make you sweat."

Buffy growls playfully in Tara's ear before nipping on the lobe. "I'm wanting to find out if you can. Plus it's been driving me absolutely insane the last couple weeks trying to figure out what you're hiding under your clothes." Buffy admits, her fingers working their way through the Wiccan's many layers of clothes.

Tara shifts her body up and quirks her eyebrow at the slayer. "If you don't know what's under the clothes, you're worse off than I thought you were."

Buffy playfully smacks Tara on the butt as she lifts her head to nip and suckle at Tara's neck for a second. "That's not what I meant, and you know it." Buffy releases the flesh and drops back down to the ground, looking up at Tara, searching the Wiccan's features and eyes. "I think I'm falling in love with you, Tara." Buffy finally admits softly.

Tara feels her body becoming still as she looks into open hazel eyes, seeing the love shining from the depths, surprised at the slayer so openly admitting how she's feeling. Seeing the woman that has been through so much, that's finally willing to take a chance on love again…Maybe not so much on love, but on her, on Tara Maclay the scared Wiccan that had decided to withdraw from life. Raising a shaky hand, Tara strokes her fingers down Buffy's cheek, running her index finger over Buffy's lips time after time as she looks into hazel depths. "I love you, Buffy." Tara finally whispers softly after a few long minutes before leaning down and kissing the slayer lovingly, not deepening the kiss.

Buffy feels her heart expand as the loving kiss slowly ends. "I don't want to push you, I know this has happened kind of fast." Buffy whispers as she shifts slightly away from Tara surprised as she feels her own body shaking lightly with the desire flowing through it for the Wiccan.

"Has it?" Tara questions softly as she watches Buffy as the slayer shakily stands and walks over to the wood, gathering it to bring over to the fire.

Buffy looks up at Tara from where she's carefully placing the wood on the fire. "Has it happened kind of fast?" Buffy questions, her brows furrowing slightly. When Tara nods her head, Buffy crouches down by the fire, watching as the wood slowly catches and starts to burn. "In a way, yes it has. But in another way we've known each other for years…" Buffy tilts her head as she looks back at Tara.

"That's part of it. We have known each other for years." Tara explains as she shifts to sit cross-legged in front of the fire as she runs her fingers over her braid, making sure it's still relatively tight. "We already know each other on a basic level. We know what each other are like inside. So we don't have the initial 'getting to know you' period to go through like a lot of couples. However, we haven't seen each other in years…And until roughly five weeks ago, you thought I was dead." Tara whispers the last as she stares into the flames. "And I didn't know if any of you guys were alive or not after Sunnydale collapsed."

"But we are…alive." Buffy frowns as she sees the flames flickering off the wetness of the tears slowly trailing down Tara's cheeks. Shifting behind Tara quickly, Buffy wraps her arms around her, holding her tightly with her legs on either side of the Wiccan, cradling her between them.

"What if…this…happens." Tara starts softly, gently squeezing Buffy's arms. "And when we get back to England, where the rest of the world will intrude in, and you realize it was all a mistake? What do we do then, if you decide you don't love me?"

Buffy inhales deeply at the Wiccan's words, shaking her head gently. "That's not going to happen, Tara. It isn't just because we've been sequestered away from the rest of the world here. Though, if it wasn't for that damn demon, we probably would have never met up again. I guess I'll thank him before I kill him."

"Anything." Buffy brushes her chin over Tara's shoulder, holding the Wiccan tight against her body.

"If you decide that this isn't what you want…you'll just tell me and not try and drag it out. Make a clean break." Tara hiccups slightly as she tries to fight back the tears, knowing that her heart wouldn't survive another crush if Buffy should decide she doesn't love her.

"Tara, I plan on loving you for the rest of my life if you'll let me." Buffy whispers softly in her ear. "Give me a chance, please."

Tara inhales a shaky breath and slowly nods her head. "Everything that I am is yours, Buffy." Tara relaxes into the slayer, finally letting down the last of her walls, praying silently to the Goddess for them to have a long and happy life together.

"And all that I am and ever will be, is yours, Tara." Buffy presses her lips to Tara's ear before shifting and resting her chin on Tara's shoulder as the two women silently stare into the flames of the fire.

"We should go to bed." Tara finally whispers, after the two women had companionably and silently watched the fire, occasionally throwing more wood on it as it burned down. Tara feeling comfortable and safe in Buffy's strong arms as the slayer had stayed practically wrapped around her the whole time.

Buffy squeezes Tara gently before releasing her and shifting back, standing and walking over to the woodpile to grab a couple bigger logs. Gently placing one on the fire, Buffy watches it to make sure it catches. Turning her gaze on Tara, who's quietly watching her, Buffy smiles and offers her hand to the Wiccan. "Let's go to bed, Tara." Buffy gently pulls Tara up, kissing her softly before the two women make their way to the tent.

Tara unties her boots, pulling them off as she watches Buffy sit down beside her in the small space and work on pulling her boots off also. "Buffy?" Tara whispers questioningly.

Buffy places her boots in the corner, taking Tara's and placing them with hers before she shifts and looks at Tara. "I can't tell you how much I would really, really like to make love to you now. But waiting for a better time…and a softer place…is fine with me, if you want." Buffy runs her fingers gently over Tara's cheek, looking intently into her eyes. "But I'm not giving up on having extra kisses before we curl up together to sleep."

Tara chuckles softly and leans in to kiss Buffy lovingly. "You're a wonderful woman, Buffy Anne Summers." Tara whispers before the two women work on re-arranging the items in the small tent so they can sleep together, unzipping the two sleeping bags and zipping them together to make one huge sleeping bag that they could sleep in.

"Better with the clothes we have now, or should we take a couple layers off?" Buffy questions, looking at the thick layers they're both wearing to help keep them warm.

"Body heat works better without all the layers. But I would definitely want to keep the thermals on." Tara admits quietly. "Definitely not sexy, but…"

Buffy chuckles quietly. "No, they're not sexy, but they are warm." Buffy stands and works on stripping down to her thermal underwear, folding her clothes up in a tidy pile in the corner on top of their shoes as she watches Tara start stripping. Groaning quietly as the Wiccan finally gets down to the snug thermal underwear, showcasing the Wiccan's curves and valleys. Grunting loudly, Buffy shakes her head. "Not sexy, she says…Damn it, if she gets any sexier, I'll have to re-think this waiting 'til later to learn that body."

Tara blushes lightly as she looks down at her long johns, raising an eyebrow as she looks back up at Buffy. "If you think these are sexy, it must have been a long time, sailor." Tara jokes as she climbs in between the sleeping bags, watching as Buffy quickly follows behind her and zips up that side of the bag. Shifting their jackets so they're on top for extra warmth.

"Roughly two years." Buffy admits quietly, as she reaches out and grasps Tara's hand, gently tugging her towards her. "Come here." Buffy orders softly.

Tara shifts the short distance, smiling softly as Buffy wraps an arm around her, urging her against her. Snuggling into the slayer's side, Tara places her head on Buffy's shoulder as she wraps her arm around the slayer's stomach. "Been roughly seven for me." Tara admits softly.

Buffy blinks in surprise, doing the math in her head. "No one since…" Buffy inhales deeply and hugs Tara tightly as Tara nods her head against her shoulder. "I should have known that, since you said you weren't willing to risk your heart again." Buffy whispers softly, knowing that Tara would never have sex just for sex. For the woman to be intimate with someone she would have to care for them, love the woman she was with.

"You mentioned the Immortal, what's the story behind him?" Tara questions softly, her hand unconsciously rubbing across Buffy's stomach.

"Oh, God! Just go straight to a hard one, why don't you?" Buffy half jokes shaking her head. "Believe it or not, he's part of a group of people that can only be killed by being beheaded. It's this whole thing where it'll come down to a fight with only one to win. Needless to say, I guess I have this problem with wanting to get hooked up with men that never age…What the hell is up with that anyway?" Buffy grumbles quietly as she frowns in realization, raising an eyebrow as Tara chuckles softly.

Tara lifts her head to look at Buffy, her eyes twinkling. "I don't know, sweetie. Men usually age a lot better than women. That whole 'distinguished' thing going on, whereas we just get old." Tara shakes her head, smiling down at Buffy.

Buffy moves her hand to stroke a finger over smiling lips before she looks at the light crinkles in the corners of Tara's eyes, raising a finger to gently brush over a set. "I believe you're even more beautiful now, than you were back then, Tara." Buffy allows her finger to trail down Tara's cheek to stroke softly over her jaw.

"I was never beautiful." Tara shakes her head, smiling shyly at Buffy. "You on the other hand have become more gorgeous over the years." Tara whispers softly before shifting to place a soft kiss across Buffy's lips.

"I'm not going to argue with you over this, Tara. You're beautiful, always have been." Buffy strokes her fingers over the soft flesh of Tara's neck as she looks over Tara's features.

"Makes me wonder how long you've been watching me, to notice me in that way." Tara closes her eyes and groans quietly as Buffy's fingers stroke further down, dipping under the edge of her top.

"If I answered that, I'd have to ask you the same. Did you notice me as someone you thought attractive, or would like to get to know in a more intimate fashion before?" Buffy questions hoarsely.

Tara moans quietly, slowly dragging her eyes open as she looks intently at the slayer. "Buffy, you're a beautiful, strong, charismatic woman. Pretty much every lesbian's fantasy, so I'd have to answer that yes, I looked at you and had dreams and even the occasional fantasy. But that's all they were. I was with Willow, and you were definitely not interested in women." Tara explains softly.

"I may not have seemed interested in women, but I appreciated a beautiful woman when I saw one." Buffy admits, a small smile crossing her face. "I have to admit, at first I didn't really pay attention to you in that light. After all, best friend's girlfriend…" Buffy rolls her eyes before smiling sadly. "I think I really started to notice you more in a physical sense after you helped me deal with my mother's death. Talking to you made me look at you in a little bit of a different light." Buffy leans up and presses a soft kiss on Tara's lips, before urging the Wiccan back down against her. Stroking her hands up and down Tara's back, Buffy finally continues after a few moments. "I can't tell you how much I feel like shit for not realizing it wasn't you that was there in Sunnydale. Especially after the whole fiasco with Spike and my breaking down in the fake you's lap. It was after that when I really noticed how beautiful you were. Something hit a chord within me. Now to find out it wasn't really you…" Buffy sighs heavily, smiling softly as she feels Tara grasp her hip, squeezing it gently in understanding.

"Sweetie, I don't think it's anything anyone could have known without doing some kind of spell that would show her as not being me. From the sounds of it, she didn't even know she wasn't me." Tara explains softly. "I just hate that everyone had to go through that. If I had known…" Tara shakes her head, sighing deeply.

"I'm glad it was the other, not you." Buffy whispers hugging Tara to her tightly. "I'm so happy that you're alive and here, now. I know I'm going to have a hard time occasionally, thinking or saying something that the other you knew. But you don't have a clue about, and I want to apologize now for when I say something stupid like that."

"It's okay, sweetie. I know it's going to take some getting used to on both our parts…Hell, for all of us." Tara chuckles sadly. "There's going to be a lot of explaining to do, and a lot of talking and discussing, probably some yelling and other things also, I'm sure."

"If it gets to be too much, I'll grab you up and head up to this little out of the way cabin that no one knows about and we'll hide to let the fall out happen without us, then come back a couple months later." Buffy offers, smiling engagingly at the Wiccan.

"Out of the way cabin?" Tara questions curiously, looking back up at Buffy propping her face up on her hand.

"Yeah. Giles gave me some money when I took off, kind of a belated payment for being a slayer all those years. I found this little cabin that belonged to this older woman. She and her husband used to use it as a second honeymoon until they got too old to go up there. I helped her out and we got to talking…Needless to say, they didn't have any kids or anyone to leave it to, and I offered to buy it. I go up there every couple months for long weekends, and I also take a month off each year to spend up there just to get away from everything." Buffy explains, smiling at Tara. "No one knows where I go…it's something that's just…was just for me. I'd like to share that with you, if you'd like."

"Oh, love." Tara feels her heart get heavy with the slayer's willingness to share with her something that she hasn't shared with anyone else. "I would assume with the way you're talking, you aren't wanting to hide what's going on between us."

"God, no!" Buffy blinks in horror. "I'm older and, hopefully, wiser. Hiding shit just makes everything harder, and this is something I definitely do NOT want to hide. Hell, I honestly never could figure out why Willow hid your guys' relationship for so long. I know you two had been together for longer than any of us knew."

Tara slowly nods her head, as she thinks about that time. Something that used to bug her and hurt her, but now is just something from her past. "It wasn't too long after the incident with the Gentlemen, that we started seeing each other. We took things slow, hand holding for the longest time to eventual soft kisses." Tara shrugs a crooked grin on her face.

"That long?" Buffy blinks in surprise as she thinks about that time. "Jesus! That had to be almost six months before Oz came back and the rest of us found out."

Tara slowly nods her head, a sad, small smile on her face. "Close to that. I want to thank you for wanting to be up front about our relationship."

"She hurt you in a lot of ways, didn't she?" Buffy finally realizes sadly, her heart hurting for Tara and what she'd gone through all those years ago.

"Yes, she did. But it's in the past, and I can honestly say that it doesn't hurt anymore." Tara explains, as she thinks back over that time, coming to the realization that it really doesn't hurt. "I feel sad and wonder what I might have been able to do differently to change things. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that we weren't meant to be together. I was always more of a possession to Willow. Not a partner or someone to share her life with. She wanted to possess me and to be able to feel that I was hers and hers alone." Tara shrugs as she shifts her body, resting her arms over Buffy's upper chest and resting her chin on top of her arms, looking at Buffy. "Something you said earlier nailed home a big difference between what we have and what Willow and I had."

Buffy brushes back a small section of hair that had come loose from the Wiccan's braid. "What's that?"

"When I told you that everything I am is yours?" Tara smiles as Buffy nods in remembrance. "You said that everything you are and ever will be is mine? I once said something similar to Willow."

"What did you say, Tara?" Buffy questions after a few minutes as Tara seems to get lost in the past.

"Sorry." Tara smiles apologetically to the slayer. "I told her I was hers. Just a simple statement, that meant so much at the time. It was right before Oz came back and she chose me over him." Tara nibbles on her bottom lip. "She never said it back. It always made me wonder that she never actually thought of us belonging to each other, just me belonging to her." Tara shrugs as she looks at Buffy.

Buffy brushes her thumb gently over Tara's cheek, seeing a sad light in her eyes. "It seems Willow tried to screw your relationship up from the onset, love." Buffy whispers. "I'm sorry."

"There is nothing for you to be sorry over, honey." Tara shakes her head, shaking off the sadness and the thoughts of the past. "We all make our own mistakes. Hopefully we learn from them and don't make them again." Tara smiles softly as Buffy cups her face in her hands and lifts her head up to kiss her gently. "Hmmm. You kiss pretty good for a straight girl." Tara curls her lips up into a half smile as Buffy glares at her.

"That sounded more like a complaint than a compliment." Buffy stares intently at the Wiccan, seeing the merriment dancing in the blue eyes.

"That definitely was NOT a complaint." Tara shakes her head and shifts up slightly, staring down into hazel eyes. "Something about you brings out a very serious protective side to me, Buffy. I have this urge to protect you and keep you from the dangers of the world."

"So, you're basically saying that you're going to be the butch in this relationship?" Buffy questions surprised, starting to chuckle at the thought of her being the femme. "Oh, sweet, God." Buffy laughs harder and wraps Tara in her arms, pulling the Wiccan's body down against hers, enjoying the feel of the warm body pressing against her.

"That funny?" Tara grins crookedly as Buffy laughs and nods her head. Tilting her head as she considers the slayer for a few minutes as Buffy continues to laugh, the tears rolling from her eyes. "Okay, I need to know why it's that funny."

"Not…you…being…the…butch…" Buffy gasps out, trying to get control of her breathing and laughter. "Me…femme…" Buffy starts laughing harder again, taking a few long minutes to get control, before finally continuing. "Tara, I wasn't even the femme in my other relationships! I was the butch pretty much in all of them." Buffy admits what so tickled her funny bone.

Tara chuckles at the realization, remembering how Buffy was with Riley and having to silently agree with the slayer. "So, no butchiness allowed for me, huh?"

"I didn't say that, did I?" Buffy questions, raising her eyebrows in surprise as she looks up at Tara. "I…I think it could be possible, to tell you the truth." Buffy admits seriously as she watches Tara's eyes become serious as they look down at her. "Tara…I never gave anyone that much control over me before. I think ultimately that I was afraid of being hurt by them and always held that part of me back that was willing to let someone else take over the care and being in charge." Buffy explains her eyes watching as slow understanding comes into Tara's blue eyes. "I don't think I ever loved and trusted someone enough to let them have that power over me."

Tara blinks back the tears she's feeling gathering, lifting a hand up to stroke softly over Buffy's face. "You've never allowed yourself to just let go and let someone else protect you and love you completely, have you?"

Buffy swallows and slowly shakes her head. "No. Never." Buffy slowly closes her eyes as Tara comes closer, kissing her softly and tenderly, a kiss of giving and love, with a hint of a promise of what is to come. As Tara slowly backs away, rolling her body to the side, gently urging her to follow, Buffy finds herself plastered against Tara's side, her arm and leg thrown territorially over the Wiccan while she buries her face against Tara's shoulder. "I love you, Tara."

"I love you, too, my sweet slayer." Tara murmurs, placing a gentle kiss against Buffy's forehead as she hugs her to her while running her other hand over Buffy's arm, before running down to gently squeeze Buffy's thigh. "Try and get some sleep, my sweet one. Hopefully we won't have that big of a snow storm and will be able to go after the demon tomorrow."

"If it isn't bad, do you think we can trace our way back here, if we need to? Just to be safe in case a storm comes up?" Buffy questions softly.

"Yes. I'll make a little homing beacon that either one of us can tune into, just to be on the safe side." Tara offers, smiling as she hears the questioning grunt come from Buffy. "Love, you have mystical powers yourself. What do you think they tapped into when they did the enjoining spell to defeat Adam?"

"I can't make things go bippity boppity boo, though!" Buffy looks up in surprise at Tara seeing the smirk on the blonde's face.

"You could, if you wanted to. You just have all that potential locked down deep inside you. I'll just show you how to open yourself to feel the beacon. You don't have to actually tap into your powers to do that, more like feel the beacon. Kind of like how you feel demons. You never have to unlock those powers, if you don't want to. That's something you have to decide on."

"I'd rather not. I've seen what could happen." Buffy shivers uncontrollably at the thought of what Willow had done, not even wanting to tempt fate.

"That's your decision, love." Tara smiles sadly, knowing what thoughts are going through Buffy's head. "Let's get some sleep, tomorrow's a new day."

"Yes it is." Buffy allows a smile to cross her face at the thought that tomorrow they'll wake up in one another's arms, to work on their burgeoning relationship…after fighting the demon. Buffy snarls her lip at the remembrance of why they're out here in the freezing cold, before a grin replaces the snarl realizing without that same demon, she never would have found Tara again. "I love you." Buffy whispers softly as she snuggles more into Tara, closing her eyes at the soothing fingers stroking tenderly over her back and arm.

"I love you, too." Tara murmurs just as softly a small smile on her lips as she closes her eyes, taking deep breaths as she slowly falls asleep, more comfortable and at peace than she's been in more years than she can remember.

Buffy slowly wakes, aware of the warm arms wrapped around her, holding her tight. Placing a gentle kiss on Tara's neck, Buffy gently disengages herself from the Wiccan. Smiling down at the sleeping woman, Buffy eases from the sleeping bag, quickly zipping it back up behind her, shivering uncontrollably at the drop in the temperature. Making sure their jackets are piled on top of the Wiccan to keep her warm before quickly yanking on her clothes and shoes, she leaves the small tent, frowning at the embers of their fire. Tossing some of the smaller branches on the fire, Buffy crouches down by the fire, blowing on the embers sighing in relief as the smaller pieces catch. Quickly building the fire up to a healthy, warming blaze, Buffy works her way to the opening, shifting the branch out of the way to look at the snow covered ground.

"About six inches." Buffy grumbles, looking up at the clear, but cold day. "Shit. I need to use the bathroom." Buffy growls angrily as she quickly heads back, grabbing the roll of toilet paper, not looking forward to yanking her britches down to pee in the freezing cold.

"Hey, honey?" Tara calls softly having woken up a few moments after Buffy had left the tent.

Buffy looks quickly towards Tara, smiling as the Wiccan comes out dressed, but rubbing her eyes. "Yeah?"

"Let me do something to make it a little easier to deal with the necessities." Tara suggests softly, working her way back behind the tent, a good twenty feet from the tent to kneel on the ground, digging a small pit before whispering a smell nullifying spell. Gathering up some of the smaller deadfall, she makes a small fire to help heat up around this area so neither one of them would end up with frost bite in a sensitive area. Looking up, she grins crookedly at Buffy. "We still have to squat to use the bathroom, but we won't have to worry about smell, and the small fire should keep us from freezing anything important."

"You're a lifesaver." Buffy moans quietly as Tara stops by her and kisses her gently on the lips before continuing back to the pup tent. "Tease." Buffy grumbles.

"Nope. Not a tease, but I do need to brush my teeth." Tara chuckles as she hears Buffy's answer.

"I'm willing to put up with a little morning breath for some serious kissage." Buffy grumbles before situating herself to relieve her aching bladder.

Tara quickly grabs out a couple of the cheese sandwiches along with some beef jerky and water after brushing her teeth and checking outside to see if they were going to be able to continue on their hunt for the demon. Looking up at the clear sky, she sighs quietly at the realization that they should be able to continue. Shivering she ducks back in, working her way quickly back to the fire.

Buffy eases around the tent, smiling self consciously at the Wicca. "Are we going to have any more snow?"

"Not unless something blows in…at least for a while." Tara looks up, smiling at the slayer. "Go ahead and eat, honey. I need to take care of my necessities, also."

"Have you eaten yet?" Buffy questions looking at the two sandwiches and the beef jerky Tara had set out.

"No. I'll take one of the sandwiches. The other and jerky is for you." Tara eases up, heading back to the 'bathroom'.

Buffy rubs a hand over the back of her neck, wondering if she should eat the jerky, or save it. Deciding to take the chance, Buffy sits down to slowly eat her sandwich, savoring it to hopefully fill her up more, watching as Tara comes back after a few minutes. "What time is it?" Buffy questions curiously.

Tara looks at her watch, smiling. "Just after eight." Tara unfolds the map, settling down beside Buffy, reaching for the sandwich as she tracks where the demon is, pursing her lips. "Looks like he's doubled back. I think he might realize someone's on his trail and is hoping to catch us unawares." Tara shows Buffy the map, the demon a little over a mile from their current position.

Buffy chuckles quietly. "Maybe we should wait and let him come to us?" Buffy looks up with a questioning look.

Tara's eyes become distant as she thinks. "Can I try something?" Tara questions softly, looking at Buffy.

Buffy smirks and her eyes twinkle before she yelps softly as Tara smacks her on the thigh. "What?"

"Not that! Gutter brain." Tara laughs and shakes her head. "You know those protective walls you keep up in your mind?"

"Let me know if you feel me knocking, okay?" Tara smiles as Buffy nods her head, the hazel eyes of the slayer watching her intently. Closing her eyes, Tara inhales deeply, exhaling softly as she concentrates on the woman beside her, hoping that there might be enough trust and love between them to open a mental link. Coming up on the walls…hell the steel vault, Tara sighs quietly realizing the slayer keeps not just her mystical nature, but her feelings and thoughts under serious lock and key. Mentally tapping on the vault door, Tara smiles softly as Buffy answers.

"I hear…feel, whatever." Buffy rolls her eyes, not knowing how to describe the feeling inside her.

"You don't have to open to me, but do you think you can picture a little hole in your door?" Tara watches as Buffy tilts her head.

"Buffy, this area is your innermost thoughts, feelings, desires and everything else. You keep everything locked behind that wall, except for what you want people to know or feel. What I'm asking is for you to allow a small hole for me to make a link with you so I can talk to you mentally, I don't want you to open yourself completely to me, especially not right now." Tara explains quietly.

"Why don't you want me to open myself to you?" Buffy shifts around to look at Tara more intently, trying to figure out her reasoning.

"If you did that, it would be an overload to me." Tara admits softly. "I would get all your memories, feelings, pains, hurts…everything if you did that. You've never allowed that wall to be breeched before, Buffy. And when and if you allow it to happen it's probably going to be the most painful…and most wonderful experience ever."

"How can…" Buffy shakes her head, stopping herself. "This isn't the time to really discuss this, is it?"

"Okay. But we will discuss this in the future…probably way in the future, but in the future." Buffy reaches out to hold Tara's hand, gently squeezing before leaning in and kissing her softly. "Small hole, right?"

Buffy pictures a drill with a small drill bit, holding the drill and letting it do the work to allow a small hole in her defenses, smiling as she feels Tara almost immediately plugging the hole, the woman feeling like the sun coming out after an overcast, rainy day, causing the birds to sing and the world to seem all shiny and new.

'Can you hear me, honey?' Tara mentally sends, smiling softly as she watches the emotions crossing Buffy's face.

"Yes, and feel you, also." Buffy blinks and sighs quietly, a soft smile crossing her face as she looks at Tara. "Will you always be there, now?"

"No. After we take out the demon, I'll sever the connection and you can plug it back yourself." Tara blinks as she notices the crestfallen look on Buffy's face. "Do you want me to stay there?"

Buffy slowly nods her head. "You're a ray of sunshine in my world, Tara. I'd kinda like to keep you there, if you can."

"I can. Just if we're ever separated by a large distance, we won't be able to feel each other, and will have to close the hole yourself until we could re-connect." Tara admits quietly.

"Feel along the lines, honey. Follow it back." Tara whispers, closing her eyes as she feels the strength and caring of the slayer come through to her, where she'd opened herself to the slayer, allowing more of her own thoughts and being to be available to her.

"Oh, wow." Buffy closes her eyes, basking in the goodness, caring and love just open to her, mentally rolling around in Tara's offering even as her body physically closes the distance between them, her mouth unerringly finding Tara's in a heated kiss.

Tara moans softly as she lands on her back with Buffy pressing determinedly against her front, kissing her with everything she has in her, thankful they're already on the ground, or the kiss would have her knees so weak they wouldn't be able to support her. Burying her hands in Buffy's hair, Tara nips gently on Buffy's bottom lip as the slayer finally pulls away, panting heavily.

Breathing heavily, Buffy buries her face in Tara's neck, smiling as she hears the Wiccan's heart pounding forcefully, even as she's able to smell the woman's arousal. "I can feel your love, your caring and your goodness. That's…I don't know how to describe it, but it's a humbling feeling." Buffy whispers against Tara's neck. Placing kisses on Tara's neck allowing her lips to linger and her tongue to swirl around the flesh until Tara moans loudly and presses her body up into hers.

"Buffy, honey…" Tara moans again as teeth nip gently at her neck before Buffy starts to suck gently at first before growling to suck more strongly. Knowing the slayer is marking her, feeling the possessiveness coming from the slayer along their link and also becoming aware of Buffy's own desire to be marked as hers.

Releasing the blood red flesh, Buffy swirls her tongue around the heated flesh, before begging softly. "Please, Tara."

"This isn't exactly my style." Tara murmurs in a husky, sex-roughened voice before latching her lips onto the slayer's pulse point and sucking hungrily even as she tongues the flesh in her mouth, growling as Buffy whimpers above her.

"Oh, SHIT!" Buffy cries out loudly when Tara actually bites down on the flesh she'd been sucking, causing her to jerk and have a small climax in response. Whimpering as Tara finally releases her neck, Buffy curls up on top of the Wiccan her body shaking as she fights to keep the walls up around her, though she has the urge to allow Tara to know, see and feel everything that she is. Knowing that this isn't the time or place, Buffy fights it even as she feels Tara adding her own strength and power to hers to shore up the walls.

Tara holds Buffy tightly, supporting Buffy as well as she can, surprised at how the wall had cracked when she'd marked the slayer, though knowing it wasn't just a physical mark she'd placed on Buffy, but a soul-deep mark that would connect them for all time. Slowly coming to the conclusion that when they mark each other again, and let both their walls down, that they would literally be linked forever.

"Would that be a bad thing?" Buffy finally whispers, her voice scratchy, as she hears Tara's thoughts.

"No. That would be a wonderful thing and would only happen to true soul-mates. Something that I thought…" Tara sighs and shakes her head at the thought.

"You and Willow." Buffy finishes quietly, lifting her upper body up so she can look down into Tara's blue eyes.

"Yes. I thought we were. We just seemed so perfect for each other before the power became more important to her." Tara admits quietly.

"Kind of like me and Angel. I thought we were meant to be together." Buffy shakes her head and chuckles. "What would have happened if we had hooked up in Sunnydale?"

Tara shakes her head and smiles sadly at the woman that now holds her heart. "It wasn't meant to be in Sunnydale, Buffy. If it had been, we would have found a way to be together. Fate's a fickle mistress, and for some reason she wanted us to wait until now to come together. She sent that Krinakill Demon to bring us together. How else is it that it would be right by my Coven, and you just happened to be the slayer that was sent to go after it?"

"Maybe she needed Willow to go on a bender to realize her true potential and get the control and learning she needed from the Coven in Devon. And maybe I needed to grow up some, and learn to be more open about my feelings, wants and desires." Buffy offers, sighing quietly. "But no matter what the reason is, we do have a demon to go after. I want to take this son of a bitch out, get back to the Coven, pack and drag your ass back to England. You won't mind that I plan on dragging your ass up to my suite of rooms, or the cottage and us living off delivery for a week or two while we become more…acquainted, do you?" Buffy's eyes almost glow at the thought of having Tara above her, below her, beside her, inside her…Groaning, Buffy drops her head back on Tara's shoulder as she feels the desire course through her for the Wiccan's touch.

"Naughty thoughts aren't good right now, Buffy." Tara moans softly as Buffy sends some very serious and explicit thoughts to her through their connection. "Goddess, is that even possible?"

"I don't know, but I'm willing to try it." Buffy mumbles into Tara's neck, a small smile crossing her lips as Tara whimpers. "I think I like this connection."

"I don't think my body can bend that way, Buffy." Tara admits, trying to get the thoughts out of her mind.

Buffy snorts quietly before placing a kiss on Tara's neck. "Demon. I'm feeling inspired. I want to get out of here so we can see if you can bend that way."

Tara groans loudly even as Buffy laughs and eases from her body to stand looking down at her. "I might end up having to sever the connection, if you're always going to be sending me thoughts like those."

"Just look at it this way, when I'm sending you those thoughts, I've been thinking them too…and I can guarantee you that I am EXTREMELY turned on at them…Hell at just the thought of you touching me intimately my body starts to respond." Buffy admits softly.

"That's why I try not to think about you touching me." Tara explains, her crooked grin coming across her lips as she watches a huge, happy smile come up on Buffy's face. "Let's gather everything here together. I'll magically put out the fire when we're ready to head out."

"Don't forget to put your beacon on this place, just in case." Buffy reminds Tara as she heads towards the pup tent, climbing in to unzip the sleeping bags and re-zip each one individually as she rolls them into a tight ball to tie onto their back packs.

"Thanks, honey." Tara murmurs as she searches through her pack, grabbing a pinch of herbs, whispering an incantation as she spreads the herbs in a small circle.

Tara purses her lips as she looks over at Buffy. 'He should be about twenty yards ahead of us just to the right. Be careful, honey.'

Buffy looks back and nods her head as she eases her backpack from her, settling it quietly against a tree before pulling off her heavy parka, debating for a moment before pulling another jacket off so she has more maneuverability. Taking a deep breath, she pulls out a short sword and takes a couple practice swings before double-checking the other weapons she'd hid around her body.

Watching Buffy intently, Tara prepares the spells she'd worked on with the other Coven members, having them ready to be activated with a single thought or word. Gathering her own weapons, Tara holds the map and works her way behind Buffy, staying back as Buffy looks over her shoulder and nods towards a rock outcropping. 'Look for him love, he should only be about another ten yards ahead of you.' Tara sends as she settles looking at the map and arranging herself so she can look out to where the slayer is.

Nodding quickly to Tara, Buffy sends her senses out, frowning as she doesn't feel the demon. Remembering how he had practically landed on her in their last meeting, Buffy's eyes widen as she starts looking up, having not thought to ask Tara if they could say whether or not they had just distances or heights on that damn map. Wishing she could talk to Tara inside her head, instead of just sending her pictures, Buffy growls quietly.

Tara frowns as she watches Buffy look up. Looking back down at her map, she notices that the demon should be literally just a couple feet from the slayer. As the realization occurs to her, she looks up into the trees, calling herself every name in the book at the thought they didn't think to cover that part of the distances. 'Two o'clock, looking like he's getting ready to drop!' Tara sends quickly as she watches the mottled green and brown demon launch from the tree limb he'd been on.

Buffy zeroes in on the demon and dodges quickly out of the way as he tries to land on top of her again. "Get me like that once, but never twice, asshole!" Buffy growls angrily as she steps in and swings the sword. Growling as the blade only cuts part way through the demon's arm, hurriedly dodging the huge ham-like fist that comes at her head. Darting in and out quickly, striking the demon every chance she can while staying out of his way, knowing better than to get close to those killer hands.

Tara frowns heavily as she watches Buffy dart in and strike at the demon before jumping back out of hitting distance, noticing that though the slayer is hurting the demon, she's not really slowing it down. More like a flea bite on a dog. 'Do you have an iron knife? Maybe that'll do more damage.' Tara sends mentally as she concentrates on sending a spell towards the demon, hopefully to slow it down. There not being much information on this particular demon, they're unfortunately shooting in the dark with a lot of the things they're trying to do. Wanting to give Buffy a chance to take out the demon without interfering too much, knowing instinctively that the slayer has a score to settle with the thing that had almost killed her.

Buffy growls, drops and rolls as she pulls the iron blade out of her boot, sending it straight towards the demon's head, growling as it's arm comes up just in time, the blade buried in a thick forearm. Buffy shakes her head as she realizes that is where she'd stabbed it in the stomach previously it looked almost unharmed, except for a slightly lighter area. "Do we know if these bastards regenerate?"

"No. We don't have much information on them at all." Tara calls back out loud, eyes opening wide as the demon's gaze turns towards her. "Oh, shit." Tara murmurs, hurriedly finishing the spell to slow it down.

"NO YOU DON'T!!" Buffy screams, jumping up to swipe with the sword at its head getting its attention back on her. "You're fighting me, you reject from hell." Buffy blinks in surprise as the demon seems to be moving through molasses, quickly looking over at Tara, she sees the smile on the woman's face.

"Don't know how long it'll last, so use the time well!" Tara warns quickly, watching as Buffy's attention goes back to the demon, the slayer dropping the short sword that hadn't done that much damage to different knives from hiding places and goes at the demon, slicing, hoping to find something that'll cut through the thick skin and finally kill the demon.

Buffy growls loudly as she doesn't get anywhere with the knives she's using, trying to cut at the demon. Using all her strength, she starts stabbing the demon quickly, hoping to find its heart and kill it this way.

Tara bites her lip as she watches Buffy move in a blur of motion, entranced at how much quicker and stronger the slayer is from the time she'd known her before. Realizing Buffy must be like a fine wine and just gets better with age. Eyes widening as she realizes that the demon is starting to move faster, Tara warns Buffy quickly. "Careful! The spell is wearing off!"

Buffy grunts and nods her head, not looking at Tara as she works her way around the demon, frowning as her knife hits a hard spot almost bouncing off something in it's back. Working on gut instinct, Buffy tries another blade in the same area. Growling at the same response, Buffy drops down to the ground and picks up the iron knife that the demon had pulled out of its arm. Dodging a strike by the demon, realizing he's almost moving at normal speed, Buffy jumps up, tucks into a roll over the demon, landing behind him and slamming the iron knife into the spot, yelling as it slides home even as the demon let's out this ungodly scream.

Tara stands ready to send another spell towards the demon, watching as Buffy hurriedly moves away from him in the opposite direction. Tara turns her attention back on the demon as it screams and tries to get its hands back to the knife as he stumbles around. Wincing as the screams seem to get higher pitched the longer it screams.

Buffy looks around hurriedly and grabs a large stick, maneuvering her way behind the demon, she swings and slams the stick into the handle of the knife driving it deeper, dropping the stick and covering her ears as she runs towards Tara. The witch grabbing her and ducking down behind the rock outcropping as the demon let's out the un-godliest roar either woman had ever heard, before a loud explosion rents the air, along with an acrid stench floating behind it.

Tara huddles behind the rock with her arms wrapped around Buffy, chuckling quietly as Buffy pants heavily after the expenditure of energy. "Do you think that did it?" Tara wrinkles her nose even as her eyes twinkle merrily.

"If not, someone else can come after that bastard." Buffy rubs a hand over her nose, having a feeling that both she and Tara are going to have to wash multiple times just to get rid of the stench from being in the same area as the demon when it went up.

"I'm not looking. That's your job." Tara points out as Buffy doesn't stand up to see if the demon was toast or not.

"Uh, Uh. I fought the demon. You can look to see if he's actually dead now." Buffy smirks at the witch before calling out Tara's name in surprise as the Wiccan whispers something and grabs hold of her foot before pushing her up from behind the rock outcropping, sending her floating. "NOT FAIR!" Buffy yells, before looking at the scorched and smoking area of where the demon had been, her eyes looking upwards and all around. "Looks all clear, what's your map say?"

Tara pulls Buffy back down, chuckling as she releases the spell before pulling out the map, showing Buffy the hole burned in the same spot the demon had died in. "I would say that you got him, sweetie."

Buffy yells loudly before collapsing back into the snow, grinning up at the sky, chuckling as warm blue eyes move to look down at her. "And to the victor goes the spoils." Buffy grabs Tara pulling her down to invade her mouth hungrily, growling into the kiss as Tara settles over her, kissing her back with everything she has.

Tara groans as she finally pulls away, needing to gather some much needed oxygen into her starving body. "You need to get your clothes back on. I'd rather you not get sick." Tara points out quietly, running her glove-covered hand over Buffy's face.

"Yes, ma'am." Buffy steals another quick kiss before Tara moves off her. Sighing quietly, Buffy heads towards her clothes and backpack, quickly putting the layers back on.

Tara steps out and inspects the area, kneeling down and cautiously looking at the knives on the ground. "Do you think it'll be okay to touch these?"

"Let me pick them up. I have the whole slayer healing thing going for me in case there's something weird going on with them." Buffy explains as she grabs her backpack and walks over to kneel beside Tara.

Tara watches intently as Buffy cautiously uses a finger to run up and down the knives. Sighing quietly as nothing happens, Tara smiles as Buffy puts them in a bag and places them in her backpack.

"If we hurry up, we can get back to the Coven before nightfall." Buffy murmurs, sighing loudly in relief to have the demon taken care of. Standing she throws on the backpack and latches it properly as Tara becomes situated.

"I'll lead the way." Tara smiles softly at Buffy, kissing her gently before turning to head back towards the Coven.

"And I'll follow you the whole way." Buffy murmurs, her eyes on her soon to be lover, thankful for whatever twist of fate brought the Wiccan back into her life.

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To Live Again

by Kinetic-Kid

Copyright © 2008

kwhite14@yahoo.com