Nymphomaniac Fantasia: Fumbling Towards Ecstasy by Jin Hayte

Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Buffy, Willow, Xander, Giles and all the other characters in the syndicated TV-show Buffy The Vampire Slayer belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy etc, etc. I do NOT own any of the official characters, their names or their backgrounds. This story, however, is mine.
Distribution: The Mystic Muse: http://mysticmuse.net
Angels Fall First: http://www.angels-fall-first.com
Ask first please.
Feedback: Hell yeah! I LOVE feedback! Good or bad, I don't mind, as long as it's constructive.
Spoilers: None.
Author's Notes: This is the first part of three short stories. While my other fics are relatively huge, this is my little kid :) It could be argued that this is PWP, and as a stand alone part, that would be true. But since it's the first part in a series that has a plot, I shun from calling it PWP.
Pairing: Willow/Buffy

Summary: How Buffy deals with her new knowledge.

Her body was covered in sweat, the clothes she had neglected to take off a few hours ago clinging tightly to her skin, her breathing labored and her eyes still not adjusted to the dark; big white spots were flying around in front of her. Buffy frowned. She had woken up in a blinding white light. She blinked her eyes, trying to see through the darkness, to calm down.

After blinking the spots out of her eyes, she looked around and was able to make out her friend's silhouette on the other bed. Willow was sitting up, her chest heaving from her heavy breathing.

Buffy frowned as a small aching registered in her brain. Her arms were stretched out behind her, her hands clenching the sheet hard.

'Oh,' she thought, easing up on her grip. She leaned forward, running her fingers through her damp hair.

This wasn't the first time she had woken up in this fashion; drenched in sweat, panting heavily and with no memory of the dream. The memories from the dream would always come back though – sooner or later – and every time it was wonderful to remember what she had in the dream but at the same painful to realize that she couldn't have it in real life.

This was the first time she had woken at the same time as Willow. Well, except for that horribly embarrassing night a month ago, when Willow had woken her up, mid-erotic-dream.

She hadn't been able to look her best friend in the face for days, even though Willow had no idea what Buffy had been dreaming about.

Buffy, her breathing not calming by much, looked at her friend to find Willow, her chest still heaving, panting for breath, was returning the Slayer's stare. Buffy flinched as they made eye contact, even though she knew that her friend couldn't see her in the dark. Never the less, she was startled.

One heartbeat, two heartbeats, and nothing but silence. She was about to repeat her friend's name when the reply came.

"Wha-?" Buffy started but was abruptly cut off as flashes of memory from the dream came to her.

The flashes lasted but a millisecond each, but they melted together, forming a clear view of the dream, until she finally remembered everything. Her dreams about the redhead had always been intense, powerful. But this was different, somehow. It was never so detailed, never were so many words spoken. And she always felt slightly cold, and alone, when she woke up. Now she was filled with warmth. And there was something else, like she wasn't alone. Well, she wasn't, Willow was sitting a few feet away, but in her head; she felt a presence in her head, pushing softly at the edges of her consciousness.

"Uh, m-my dream. It's...did you see?" Buffy turned so that she was facing her friend. A shiver went through her as her feet touched the chilly floor. "My dream, I mean," she clarified.

Willow fell silent for a moment. 'Dammit! What do I say?'. She leaned over to her bedside table and turned on the lamp, wanting to see her best friend, but it also gave her time to think.

'Ok, so the spell wasn't wrong, it's not like it's dangerous or something.' Willow thought. 'And it wouldn't even have worked if Buffy had refused to let her in.'

Sitting back down, she looked up but quickly averted her eyes when she met Buffy's intense stare. 'But, my recent track record with magic isn't exactly the best. And Buffy doesn't really trust my magic to be reliable...though she doesn't say it out loud. Ok, time to say something!'

"Umm, I did a spell," she answered tentatively as she crossed her legs underneath her, facing Buffy. "A spell to see dreams."

A multitude of feelings hit Buffy at that reply; embarrassment, confusion, anger. Again, she was embarrassed by what the redhead had seen. And why would the redhead want to see her dream, anyway? She also felt some irrational anger at the intrusion, though one could argue that it was completely rational.

"Oh, no!" Willow quickly added when she saw the look on Buffy's face. "Buffy, the spell's harmless. It wouldn't even have worked if you hadn't allowed me to enter." She pleaded with her eyes for her friend to understand that she hadn't meant any harm.

"Oh, ok." Willow rubbed her hands nervously on her knees, her eyes locked on her lap.

"Remember about a month ago, when I woke you up in the middle of the night?" she asked, quickly looking at the Slayer then looking down at her lap again.

"I figured you were having a nightmare, so I thought it was strange by how embarrassed you were the next few days. That's why I never woke you up again, cause I didn't want you to be uncomfortable. Well, until a couple of weeks ago. You were having a really bad dream, at least that's what I thought, so I was gonna wake you up again."

Willow was shaking and sweating, she was so nervous. Taking a deep breath, she continued.

"But before I could, you..." she trailed off, not able to say it. 'Came, screamed in ecstasy, had an orgasm. Geez, Willow, just say it!'

Buffy nodded her understanding, her eyes locked on her own lap, hiding her flustered face behind her blonde locks.

"And then, you ah, well you screamed my name!" Willow squeaked, voicing the experience for the first time affecting her a lot. "And, I didn't know what to do, I was just so shocked. I mean, when your best friend has a-an erotic dream about you, what are you supposed to do?" she asked rhetorically.

"Anyway," Willow stammered "Since that night, I haven't been able...I've had all these feelings...I was so confused, didn't know what I...I just had to find out...so I did the spell."

She looked up at the blonde, waiting for a response. When none came, she forced herself to continue. "And, things just kinda got clear. I realized," Willow slid off the bed and sat down on her knees in front of Buffy, tentatively placing her hands on the Slayer's knees, the Slayer's clothed state only now registering with her.

"How much you mean to me. How much you've always meant to me. Buffy...I-" a harsh intake of breath from Buffy's side stopped Willow mid-sentence.

Buffy breathed out slowly, trying to calm down her racing heart. She couldn't believe what she was hearing.

'Willow's...she's saying she loves me? I've dreamt of this moment for so long and it's finally happening? Is this real?' Buffy thought incredulously.

She had never thought it would happen. Ever. And now that it was, a part of her wanted nothing else but to embrace her friend, confess her own love for her and kiss her senseless. But another part, the part of her that tended to win these emotional battles, that part panicked. And it won this time too.

"I-I have to get some air" she said, not looking at Willow, just getting up from the bed, grabbing her leather jacket from the chair and storming out the door, ignoring Willow's "Buffy, wait!". She ran.

She didn't know how far she ran, but when she stopped, her body was on fire, her lungs barely getting any air, her heart almost bursting out of her chest. She collapsed on the ground, feeling damp grass between her fingers. Looking up, she saw a scenario she'd seen many times before, probably too many times; a cemetery; as if she subconsciously had sought out the place where she felt...at home.

Here she was, in a cold cemetery, in the middle of the night, when she could be in the warm arms of the woman she loved and who apparently loved her back, and she felt at home! She started laughing, but it came out as a harsh coughing, her breath catching.

She sat up, leaning against a gravestone. She pulled her legs up, hugging them tightly to her chest, resting her chin on her knees. What the hell was she doing? Why was she out here? Why had she run away? 'Cause you're a coward, that's why' came the automatic response. Yeah, she was. She could stand against vampires, demons, Hellmouths, giant snakes and various other hellspawn and not feel the slightest tinge of fear, but give her an emotional revelation, and she chickens out and runs away.

She picked off some dried demon blood from her jacket sleeve. A few hours ago, before the whole dream-debacle, she had encountered a number of demons scavenging one of the numerous crypts in Sunnydale. She had killed two of them, chasing off the other three.

'What am I doing here? I should be with Willow, holding her close...telling her I love her.' Buffy thought, using her jacket sleeve to wipe at her watery eyes. But now it was too late. She had run out on her, as if she wasn't worth a damn. 'But you are, Willow. God, you're worth everything'.

"Willow!" she croaked out, salty tears staining her face. She didn't know when it had happened, when she had gotten these feelings for her best friend. It wasn't sudden; it had been building for some time. Perhaps even from Day One. And yet, it felt like it had happened in a blink of an eye.

Part of her had always suspected it was the fact that she was attracted to that which she could never have. That was a coward's love, though; to allow yourself to love because you knew that that love wouldn't be returned, and therefore it was harmless. That's why she was so scared. She never wanted to hurt Willow, to cause her pain. So, what if this love wasn't real? She was terrified to wake up one day and find that the love she thought she felt was gone. That would break Willow's heart, and Buffy could never do that to her.

The possible threat of emotional pain aside, there was the very real threat of physical pain. If she and Willow were together, every wanna-be-big-bag this side of Brazil would target the wonderful redhead, in hopes of causing Buffy pain. 'If Willow died-' Buffy thought, then quickly erased that from her head. 'No, that will never happen! As long as I live, Willow will never die!'

There it was. As clear as day, Buffy knew why she and Willow could never be together.

It was best for everyone if they just forgot about this, moved on. At least, that was what she told herself. She completely ignored the fact that as a member of the Scooby Gang, Willow was always in danger.

'Besides, it would be easier for both of us.' she tried to convince herself. If we got together, it would be...complicated. Everyone would look at us differently. Not that I care what others think of me!' Buffy quickly lied to herself. 'But it would cause her pain.'

She took a deep breath, nodding slightly as if agreeing with her own decision. She would go back to the dorm, explain to Willow why they couldn't be together, and that would be it. It sounded like a good plan. But then again, her brain was currently doing twenty on the highway of reason.

Her reverie was broken by clattering sounds not far from where she was. She looked up, and a number of tombstones away, she localized the source; a crypt with the door wide open. She recognized it from before: It was the same crypt where she had encountered the scavenging demons earlier. Perhaps they had decided to come back to finish their dirty work.

Slowly, she pushed herself up from the cold ground and she made her way to the crypt. Not bothering much with the stealth, she simply went inside, stepping over the threshold.

They were short, about 4 feet tall, dark blue, slight fur on the arms, legs and shoulders, a long, thick tail, and lanky, thin arms and claws. Their faces were almost like a human's, except their noses were huge, and they had horns and remarkably long ears. Their eyes were a glowing yellow, and their faces constantly locked in an evil grin.

Two of them stood on the outside of an opened tomb, while the third was inside, nonchalantly throwing out items that the two others caught, examined quickly and then discarded, tossing them to the floor. All the while they were emitting this high pitched noise that Buffy assumed was their language.

"All right, boys," Buffy said, standing with her legs spread, ready for battle, and her arms crossed. "I told you; people are resting here. Step outside, please."

The demons only growled at her, a high pitched noise matching their language. If they weren't so damn ugly, Buffy could almost have thought that they were cute. They hunched down, extending their claws at her, preparing to attack.

"Come get it!" Buffy said as she too entered her fighting stance. Less than a second later, she was being pushed outside by three small, but surprisingly strong, demons.

Buffy slowly pushed the door open and slid into the dorm room. Immediately her eyes sought out her friend; Willow was lying in a fetal position, her back to the wall, asleep. Her hair was tussled, her eyebrows frowning even in her sleep, and her hands clenched the bedcover to her chest.

Buffy placed the strange looking cross she had taken from the demons on her desk and slid off her jacket. She winced slightly as the ruined leather jacket came into contact with the shallow gash on her right shoulder. One of the demons had gotten lucky. She had killed it for that.

Walking over to the bedside table she flicked off the light that Willow had turned on a few hours ago. The sky was starting to lighten outside, so she could see just fine without it.

While walking back from her early morning battle with this week's feature creatures, she had gone over her plan in her head, again and again; she and Willow couldn't be together.

'It'd be too difficult, and painful...complicated.' Buffy listed off the negatives in her head.

It would be hard for them both, living like this, having these feelings for each other.

'But it's necessary,' Buffy nodded, convincing herself that this was the right way to go.

However, all thought of not accepting Willow's love and allowing herself to love her friend back was thrown out the window as Buffy sat down on Willow's bed and looked at her. She gently pushed a loose strand of red hair away from her face.

'How could I cause you pain? How could I even think about not being together with you?' She thought, shaking her head. 'Whatever the Hellmouth or society will throw at us, it'll be worth it.'

If they could be together, lie in each other's arms, enveloped in love, nothing would be able to hurt them.

Buffy cupped Willow's check, feeling the warm softness of her pale skin. Gently sliding her thumb over dry lips, Buffy caused Willow to stir slowly. Eyes fluttered open and uncertain green met loving hazel.

"Buffy?" Willow frowned, not knowing what to do, how to react to this change in her friend.

"Look," Buffy said, retracting her hand from her friend's cheek. "I'm sorry, about before."

Willow didn't say anything, she just sat up, and taking the sheets with her, she slid up, leaning against the headboard.

"Why? I thought..." Willow trailed off. "I thought you, I mean, with the dreams? Don't you want me?"

"I...I was just so surprised! And I was afraid," Buffy admitted. Seeing Willow's questioning expression, she added "Of putting you in danger...of what people might say...I was afraid that I would end up hurting you, that I...that I didn't really love you," She ended in a whisper, looking down at her lap.

She reached out and eased one of Willow's hands from her grip on the sheets, taking it in her own. She rubbed her thumb on the back of the redhead's hand, enjoying the softness. "I love you Willow, so much," She smiled at the relief and happiness shining on her friend's face.

"Really?" Willow asked in that excited, slightly high pitched, voice she used when she was thrilled, causing Buffy's smile to grow.

"Really," she reassured and slid closer. "I don't care what anyone else thinks, or what the Hellmouth throws at us."

She reached up and cupped Willow's cheek, which caused the redhead to close her eyes and lean into her hand. "If you let me, if you love me," she was now whispering, her lips an inch away from the redhead's. "Then none of that matters."

Willow's lips formed a soft smile and she opened her eyes. "You know I do" she said, remembering her dream self. "Love you, I mean," she added with a smile.

Buffy took a deep breath and leaned even closer. "Really?" she whispered, her breath caressing Willow's lips.

Willow answered by leaning forward herself, kissing Buffy for the very first time. Later, both girls would swear that as they kissed, electricity danced between them. At the moment, however, they couldn't ponder long about that, let alone open their eyes and investigate.

Soft, tentative pecks turned into deep, craving kisses, nipping of lips, tongues dancing around each other. Sharing this new and powerful experience, the two girls lost themselves in the onslaught of emotions erupting inside of them.

Slowly, the broke they broke the kiss, their lips swollen and their faces flushed. Buffy was lying on her back while Willow was straddling her waist, though neither girl had any memory of changing positions like this.

"Mmmmm," Willow moaned, leaning down for another kiss. She had meant for it to be chaste, but it quickly evolved into yet another mind blowing meeting of soft lips.

Buffy's hands soon started tearing at Willow's tank top, wanting it off. After a few failed attempts, Willow, overcome by a boldness she normally didn't possess, sat up and quickly dragged it over her head and tossed the garment to the floor.

Buffy was awestruck at Willow's beauty; the first rays of the sun filtered through the windows, illuminating the redhead's pale, slightly freckled, skin and coloring her hair fire red.

Willow blushed at Buffy's intense stare, fighting the urge to cover herself up. She gave a nervous smile, "You like?"

Had her brain been working at the moment, Buffy would've replied with something like 'you're beautiful, wonderful, a goddess'. But as it was, the only thing she could get out was a mumbled: "Uh...huh" accompanied with a gulp.

Willow's smile grew into a more self-assured one, and leaning down she gave Buffy a kiss, this time managing to keep it relatively chaste.

Her face merely a few inches away from the blonde's, she looked directly into her hazel eyes, "Do you want to," she swallowed nervously. "Touch?"

Buffy's eyes flicked down between their bodies, then up into green again, "Can I?"

Buffy's hands gently slid from the redhead's hips, over her stomach, feeling the ribs under her fingertips. She trailed the underside of Willow's breasts with her thumbs, before lightly cupping the small mounds in her palms. She could feel her friend's erratic heartbeat, along with the rise of her chest as she took staggered breaths. Tenderly she caressed the taut nipples. Willow gasped.

"Oh yes." Willow moaned, leaning down and locking their lips together again. "Don't stop," she whispered between kisses.

'Oh, I won't' Buffy thought, as she flicked her fingers over the pink nubs. However, wanting more she gently pushed her lover into a sitting position. She placed kisses on her lips, her jaw line, nibbled on her earlobe, licked softly down her neck and sucked on the pulse point she found there. She moved lower, placing kisses first between Willow's breasts, then on soft round flesh, drawing circles around her right nipple.

Buffy's lips, gentle but excruciatingly teasing, were driving Willow wild. She wanted more, needed more. She grabbed hold of Buffy's shoulders and pushed her chest forward, trying to urge her to take her nipple into her mouth, only to have Buffy draw away with a smile.

Buffy didn't need more coaxing than that, the lustful tone of Willow's voice making the want she already felt stronger. Taking one of Willow's nipples in her mouth, they moaned in unison as the blonde sucked hard on the stiff nub.

Still holding onto Buffy's shoulders, Willow couldn't help but dig her nails into the soft flesh as her lover flicked her nipple with her tongue, causing Buffy to wince as the gash on her shoulder widened.

'Okay, that was not a good.' Willow thought, immediately letting go of the shoulders and looked at Buffy with concern in her eyes. "Buffy? What is it?"

"Oh, it's nothing," Buffy assured her, lying back down. "Just a scratch. Demon got lucky." She shrugged, but winced once again as the wound rubbed against the bed sheet. She hadn't noticed any pain before, too wound up in the feeling of Willow's lips on her own for the first time.

"A scratch?!" Willow's eyes widened with worry. "Why didn't you say something?" she asked, then realized where she was; on top of Buffy, no doubt causing her more pain.

"Ok, first of all; yes, it's just a tiny scratch," Buffy said calmly, sitting up. "Second; I was kinda busy kissing you"

She smiled, but the smile quickly turned into a pout, "And third; why are you standing over there?"

Although she did enjoy the view, having Willow on top of her was so much better than Willow standing barely in reach.

'Ooh, sexy pout...no, focus!' Willow shook her head. "You're hurt!" she whined, frowning.

"It's nothing," Buffy said once more. She reached out and took Willow's hand, tugging at it. "Come here."

Willow relented, sitting down, one leg folded underneath her and the other off the side of the bed. "Let me...can I see?"

Buffy smiled and nodded. Carefully, she started pulling the tank top over her head. Although she insisted that it was nothing, the small wound still hurt a little.

"It's probably half healed up by now," she said through the top, struggling to get her head out.

Willow giggled at her lover's dilemma, finding it very endearing. 'Aw, she's so cute.'

She finally managed in getting the shirt off, leaving her in a black sports bra. Her eyes immediately found the sight of a grinning redhead. "What?" she asked softly.

Still smiling from Willow's compliment, Buffy turned around and settled in a position similar to the redhead's.

Willow gently touched Buffy's shoulder, tentative fingers stroking to the side of the gash.

'Ok, so it's not very deep,' she had to admit. 'And Buffy's probably right about the half-healed thing.' Still, if Buffy was hurt that was bad.

"It's pretty shallow. Should be healed soon," Willow admitted, her eyes meeting Buffy's.

"Told you," Buffy said with a smile, leaning closer, re-adjusting so that she was half-facing the redhead.

Willow's hand wandered from Buffy's shoulder to her arm, gently stroking, causing goose bumps to appear.

Buffy took a staggering breath and closed the distance between them, once again fusing their lips together.

Their kiss didn't last long, however, as they were interrupted by the shrill ringing of the phone.

"We should probably...answer." She said, pressing her lips together with Buffy's again while the phone continued to ring.

"Yeah," Buffy agreed, though she made no move to answer the phone, just kissing the redhead back.

'I could do this forever.' Willow thought. But her sense of duty soon made her break the kiss.

With a disgruntled whine, Buffy released her lover and pushed off the bed. She lifted the receiver mid-ring. "What?!" She almost shouted, causing Willow to giggle.

'Oh right, the Scooby meeting. How did Giles talk us into having a meeting this early on a Saturday, anyway?' Willow mused, then remembered that they were half an hour late. 'Oh!' She bent down and picked up her shirt, sliding it on.

"Yeah, yeah, I said 'sorry'," Buffy turned and rolled her eyes, but frowned when she saw that Willow was dressed.

"What's the rush, anyway?" she asked with slight annoyance in her voice. "Okay! Give us thirty minutes."

Willow got up from the bed with a sigh and walked over to her desk to get her bathroom stuff.

"Actually, make that forty five. Well, I don't know, read a book or something. Ok, bye," Buffy hung up the phone then turned back around.

"And where do you think you're going?" She asked in a sultry voice, walking over to the redhead and hugging her close.

"Buffy," Willow protested, but made no move to break off the hug. "We should get ready."

"Mmm," Buffy moaned into the kiss, sliding her tongue against Willow's bottom lip.

Willow finally relented, letting her toiletries fall to the floor and wrapping her arms tight around Buffy's waist. Buffy's arms wandered from Willow's upper back, softly sliding down and settled on her ass.

Willow shivered and pushed her tongue into Buffy's mouth, once again eliciting a moan from Buffy.

After what felt like hours the two girls broke apart, their foreheads touching and eyes looking into loving eyes.

Buffy sighed and moved her hands up a bit, resting them on the small of Willow's back.

They simply stayed like that for a few moments, eyes closed, enjoying the feel of the other girl in their arms.

Buffy's eyes met Willow's. "Love you," she said. Finally able to say it, she wanted to say it again and again.

Buffy took a deep breath. "Yeah," She kissed Willow on the nose, making the redhead grin, then bent down and picked up her bathroom things.

Willow's smile widened. 'What a gentleman...woman...Gentlewoman? Gentle Buffy...though not all the time, I hope.' Willow giggled at that thought.

"Oh, nothing. Just...thinking." Willow replied, her smile still lighting up her face.

'Oh, this is heaven. I could stay like this forever. Always. With Buffy. Why can't we again? Oh right, stupid meeting,' Willow broke off with a whine.

"Besides," she continued. "I'd rather have you on my neck." She said in a sensual voice, but then blushed.

"It sounded a lot less corny in my head," Buffy said shyly. "And it made more sense."

'Ok, off to the bathroom or we'll never get out of here,' she thought and gave Buffy kiss before moving towards the door.

As she opened it and stepped out into the corridor, Buffy quickly grabbed her stuff. "Wait for me!" she called out, quickly moving after the redhead.

After freshening up and changing into clean clothes, the two girls arrived at Giles' apartment only ten minutes late. Having agreed not to tell anyone about their new relationship yet they broke the handholding, sharing one last quick kiss before opening the door, only to be greeted by a high pitched shriek.

"GIN!" Anya screeched and put her cards on Giles' coffee table. She, Xander and Giles were sitting around the low table, playing Gin.

"Anya, for the last time; you don't have to shout!" Giles said through gritted teeth.

"I hate this game," Xander mumbled, dropping his cards on the table and standing up. "Hey guys." he greeted Buffy and Willow on his way to the bathroom.

Giles looked relieved at the two girls. He knew it hadn't been a good idea, but he had suggested it anyway; playing Gin Rummy with Xander and Anya turned out to be less than enjoyable. Not only did the ex-vengeance demon continue to win again and again, she insisted on shouting when she did so. And to top it off, she had never played the game before today. All that was enough to break even Rupert Giles' calm and collected exterior.

"You're just angry 'cause you haven't gotten Gin yet!" Anya replied to Giles, ignoring the girls and pointing her cards angrily at him.

"You're playing Gin?" Willow asked amused. She and Buffy took off their jackets and took a seat on the bar stools at the kitchen counter.

"I'm completely whooping his ass! And he's mad at me! Sore loser!" Anya barked, scowling at the ex-Watcher.

"Yes, well," Giles sighed and stood up. "Perhaps we can get on with the meeting now that you two are finally here," He said, eyeing them pointedly.

"Hey!" Anya shrieked, again. "You can't back out now! We were barely getting started!"

Giles shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose, walking in to the kitchen to put on some more tea, but also to get away from the loud girl terrorizing his apartment, currently busy mumbling to herself about 'bad manners' and 'injustices'.

He nodded and started preparing the coffee machine. "Any problems during patrol last night, Buffy?"

"Nah, slayed a few vamps, newbies, and some weird Muppet-rejects. Oh!" she exclaimed, jumping off the stool and taking out the cross she had put in her inner jacket pocket before coming over.

Giles adjusted his glasses and examined it, frowning. It was the shape of a cross, except on the top end there was a bend, a little more than half a circle. The matte metallic surface was covered in engraved symbols, completely obscure to the Watcher, though at the center of the cross there was what seemed to be a large eight.

"Well, ah..." he hesitated. "The shape resembles a symbol that's commonly used a-among satanic groups and, I believe you call them Goths." He turned it upside down so that the bend was on the lower end of the cross. "The, ah, crook here at the bottom is supposed to signify a mockery of the catholic teachings and a recognition of the Kingdom of Lucifer. But there never existed anything like this in the true Satanic teachings, at least not that I'm aware of," He sat it down on the bench and shook his head. "These demons, these, uh...Muppet-rejects?" he asked, getting a nod from Buffy. "What did they look like?"

"Short, dark blue, long arms, yellow eyes and in serious need of nose jobs," Buffy counted off the facts on her fingers.

"Who needs a nose job?" Xander asked, coming back from the bathroom, sitting down on the arm support of the couch.

"Yep," she nodded. "Well, they were digging through a tomb; I'm guessing they found it there."

"A tomb?" Giles asked. 'Why is it that these things are always buried in tombs here in Sunnydale?' he thought bemusedly. "What crypt was it?"

Buffy shrugged. "I don't know, didn't catch the name. Was kinda busy kicking their butts."

"And getting your back sliced," Willow added, getting a pained look from Buffy. "Sorry." She amended, looking down.

"Yes, I'm fine. It's just a scratch," she replied, looking at Willow with a smile. "They ruined my jacket, though." She said with a pout.

Buffy shivered at the contact and Willow quickly retracted her hand. Hoping no one would notice her reaction, the Slayer quickly moved on. "So you haven't seen this before?" she asked, indicating the cross.

Giles shook his head. "No. It could be some ancient relic which spawned the symbol used today, but it could also be some form of Ankh." He shrugged and turned to the whistling teapot.

"The ankh is an Egyptian symbol," Willow replied, picking up the cross from the bench. "Used in magic rites, it symbolizes life, right?" She looked at Giles to confirm.

"The ancient Egyptian priests called it the, ah, the 'Key of Life'. Though in later years it has become a symbol of fertility, of uh...sexual stimulation," he said, taking off his glasses and polishing them with his handkerchief.

"Yes, and it works quite well too," Anya piped up from over the couch. "You can wear it as a necklace, a bracelet, or even better; get it as a tattoo! Depending on where on the body it is, you get different effects. Of course, it's not the same for men and women, 'cause they have very different erogenous zones."

She turned to Xander, oblivious to everyone staring at her. "Do you think we could get one each? We could get it for your birthday. If our sex-lives are good now, think about what the ankhs will do. You wouldn't even have to worry about malfunctioning."

Xander's eyes widened. "Anya!" he yelled and looked panicked at the others. "I've never, I mean, no problems here, nope!" he laughed nervously.

Buffy and Willow smirked, while Giles just shook his head and came out of the kitchen with a tray.

"What?" Anya asked. "It's not like it's uncommon. You wouldn't believe how many times women have tried to summon me just because they thought their mates weren't attracted to them anymore."

"Anya," Giles interrupted, putting the cups on the table. "As much as we'd love to hear about your rather unique, and I'm sure exciting, experiences, we have more pressing issues" to discuss."

"Oh yeah," Buffy said, moving over to sit in the couch while Willow took the arm-chair next to her. "The weird demon cross aside, why are we here on a Saturday morning?"

"Yeah!" Anya agreed. "I mean, Xander and I were gonna play Zelda and The Chimney Sweeper!"

"Zelda and The Chimney Sweeper!" Anya repeated excitedly. "You see, I'm Zelda, the lonely house wife, and Xander's the chimney sweeper, who comes-"

"Anya," Giles said her name for what seemed like the hundredth time that morning, interrupting her. "Please, do shut up."

For an important meeting, this one was fairly uneventful from there on. The "pressing issues" were simply a lot of talking about possible side effects following the almost-opening of the Hellmouth a few days ago.

Buffy's interest soon drifted from the topic to Willow. Though she loved her, and she knew Willow loved her, she still didn't know what to do now. What were they? Girlfriends?

'It's not like we could stay friends after this morning, not that either of us wants to. I think.' So they were girlfriends. But what kind? 'Are going to start dating? Is that really necessary? We've known each other for over three years, would there be a point to dating? Or can we just...skip it?'

She looked at the redhead. Really looked at her. The way she brushed her hair behind her ear from time to time, how her lips moved when she talked or when she sipped her coffee.

'Those lips...God, I want you,' Buffy thought with passion, then rolled her eyes at herself. 'Hormones much?'

It was true though. She had wanted the redhead for quite some time, and now that she could allow herself these thoughts without feeling bad, she didn't want to stop, 'Any reason I should? She's my girlfriend after all.'

Buffy's eyes trailed down to Willow's neck, her collarbone, her shoulders and her arms where the freckles were more pronounced. Her reverie was broken when Willow met her eyes and she heard Giles' voice. "Buffy?"

Her head snapped around to the Englishman, her face suddenly crimson. "Huh, what?"

"Have you heard a single word I've said?" the ex-Watcher asked with a slight edge in his voice.

"Right," Giles sighed. "Could you show me the crypt where you found the artifact last night?"

"Uh, yeah sure." She said, but she then remembered that she'd rather be doing something else today. 'Someone else.' The thought entered her head before she could stop it and she found herself once again with a slight blush. "Do we have to? Today?" She whined.

"Oh, do you have something else planned?" Giles said, his tone a little disappointed.

The witch had looked forward to spending the day with the Slayer, for some talking and maybe smoochies. 'No, smoochies would definitely be part of the day.' Willow thought.

Buffy sighed. As much as she wanted spend the day with her girlfriend, she couldn't give a valid reason not to show Giles the crypt. Without telling everyone about her and Willow, that is.

"Excellent," Giles said a bit too cheerfully, getting a dangerous look from the Slayer, which he missed. He stood up and began putting the cups on the tray. "Willow, could you go on the net, you know, do some research on, uh, our strange artifact?"

"Can we go now?" Anya asked her boyfriend whose lap she was currently sitting on.

"Yeah, An," Xander said, motioning for her standing up. "I think that's a wrap."

"Will, wait a sec," Buffy said, putting on her jacket. "I'll be right back, Giles," she called to the Watcher who was in the bathroom.

Moving out of the apartment, the girls checked if they were alone in the yard before taking each others hands and sharing a soft kiss. Breaking apart, both girls sighed.

"Me too," Buffy agreed with a smile. "Damn Giles and his quest for knowledge." She said jokingly.

"Can we talk? I think we need to talk," She said quickly, then added. "If you want to."

"Yeah. We'll talk when I get home," Grinning mischievously, she continued. "That's not all I wanna do, though."

Giving the witch a wink and a quick kiss, she broke their contact. "See ya later."

"See ya," Willow said with a silly grin on her face, turning and walking home to their dorm.

Willow was frustrated. For starters, she had spent the entire day scouring the net for any information about the artifact, which wasn't easy when the only bits of info you had to search on were cross, bent and occult. So her day long research hadn't borne any fruit, and to top it all off, she hadn't heard from Buffy all day.

'Not that there was much to talk about, really.' She thought. 'We love each other, simple as that. Right?'

As much as she tried to convince herself that all would be well, she couldn't help feeling worried. Worried what everyone would say, Xander, Giles, their parents. Worried that Buffy would wake up one day and decide she "shouldn't be around" Willow anymore.

Willow shook her head. "No! Don't think that. She's not him, she's not Oz," She said out loud.

She had been cooped up in the dorm room since 10:30, only going down to the cafeteria for some lunch at one. While long research periods were in no way unusual for her, last night's events and the current absence of Buffy added further stress.

Grunting, she pushed away from the desk and threw herself on her bed. She really wanted Buffy to be there, to hold her tight, to just lie on the bed wrapped in each other's arms.

She looked over her shoulder, at the door, almost willing it to open and for Buffy to step inside.

'Don't stare at the kettle,' she thought. Letting her head fall down on the cushion, she started picking lint from the covers, her mind wandering.

Everything had moved so fast. This time yesterday, she had been filled with excitement and had been in the process of preparing her spell. Then, after an intense dream, a quick departure from Buffy's side and a night spent crying, Buffy had admitted her love to Willow. They had embraced, kissed, and had been going somewhere Willow doubted either of them were ready for yet. Then the phone had interrupted them.

'But is it too soon? We haven't even been together twenty-four hours yet, but we've known each other for so long!' With a disgruntled grumble Willow rolled onto her other side. She was going nowhere fast with these kind of thoughts.

'One piece of green lint, two pieces of green lint...is it 'pieces'? Or 'bit'? One bit of lint...'

With a sigh she rolled onto her back. She was frustrated, and bored, and worried. Worried for Buffy.

'Where is she?' Her stomach chose that moment to growl, reminding her that she was hungry too. She hadn't had anything to eat since lunch, and she hadn't had much to eat then either. Coincidently, she had met Tara in the cafeteria. They had got to talking and Willow had sort of "forgotten" to eat more than she did.

Tara had asked her about the spell, if it worked, what she found out from her friend's dream. At first, Willow was going to lie, to say that she couldn't make any sense of Buffy's "prophetic" dream. But she really felt terrible lying to her new friend, so she gave her full spillage. Well, almost anyway. She told Tara that she had suspected that Buffy had had feelings for her for sometime, and that she used the spell to see if it was true. Then when she told her how they had admitted their love for each other, she thought she had seen a flash of regret, or sorrow in the blonde's eyes.

'That was...weird. Could Tara be interested in me? Nah, she knows I'm straight,' Willow frowned. 'Well, that I was straight. Was I ever? If not, then what was Oz?' She shook her head. Once again, she had ended up on a depressing subject.

She got up from the bed and went to the fridge. She opened it, though she knew it to be near empty. The cold light emitted by the white light bulb in the small fridge confirmed it. There was an apple in the top compartment, and two bottles of water on the middle shelf.

Grabbing one of the bottles, she returned to the bed, 'Tara's not interested in me, is she? No, I hope not. I mean, not cause that would be a bad thing, cause she's funny, and nice and pretty and...but she's not Buffy. I hope for her sake...god, get over yourself, Rosenberg!' Willow admonished herself.

"Why would she be interested in a mouse like me, anyway?" she asked no one in particular and sipped some water.

With a contented sigh, she lay down on the bed again. Laying there, on her back, she did something everyone does once in a while, despite knowing better; after chugging down a mouthful of water, she pulled back the bottle without tilting it enough, so water spilled on her neck and chest. Jerking from the sudden coldness, she sat up.

"Dammit!" She exclaimed, holding the shirt out by the hem, looking at the result of her clumsiness. It didn't matter how clever the person was, while lying down every person thought it was one hundred percent failsafe to drink from a bottle. It obviously wasn't.

Putting the bottle on the nightstand, she got up and pulled her pink peasant blouse over her head. She threw it casually on the back support of her desk chair, and then went to her wardrobe. She took out her light blue pajama with the little fishes on them.

Unzipping her skirt she folded it neatly and put it on the chair. After putting on the pajama, she picked up the wet shirt and threw it into the hamper then grabbing her toiletries, she stepped out into the corridor, locked the door and headed for the bathrooms.

After brushing her teeth, Willow went back to their room, only to find Buffy sitting next to the door, leaning her back against the wall, her forehead resting on her arms.

Though pleasantly surprised to see the blonde, Willow was puzzled by the fact that she was sitting there, and not inside the room.

Hearing the familiar voice, Buffy looked up to a familiar sight. "Hey," She said, her lips curving up in a smile.

"Why are you...?" the redhead trailed off, motioning to Buffy's position with her hand.

"Oh," Buffy stood up, brushing off her butt. "Forgot the keys," She said, rolling her eyes.

"Oh no, did you wait long?" Willow asked, but then remembered that she'd only been in the bathroom for about five minutes. "Well, no, you wouldn't cuz I was just here, and you weren't here then, so you must've come when I was in the bathroom, and..."

Buffy smiled and stepped forward, embracing her girlfriend, and effectively interrupting the babble. She nuzzled Willow's neck, sending shivers through her body. "Missed you today."

Willow took a deep breath, and returned the embrace, feeling her body melt into Buffy's.

"Missed you too," she whispered, placing a soft kiss on Buffy's neck. The kiss turned into a series of kisses, and pretty soon the two girls found themselves lip-locked, the world ceasing to exist for one intense moment, when lips nipped and tongues caressed.

Breaking the kiss, they nuzzled their noses together, peering into each others eyes. They simply stood like that, basking in each others closeness, until Buffy broke eye contact and took in the redhead's appearance.

Willow gave a light sigh, "Yeah. Been looking at the computer screen all day, kinda tired."

Buffy nodded. "Giles had me looking through books all day, so I'm drained too," she said, rolling her eyes and releasing her girlfriend.

Willow turned and pulled out her keys, opening the door. "Oh, so that's why you took so long?" she asked as casually as she could and walked inside the room.

"Yeah," Buffy replied, following. "The crypt belongs to some Wunderbaum guy, or something like that."

She shrugged off her jacket and placed it on the back support of her desk chair.

"Wunderbaum?" Willow quirked an eye brow and put her toiletries on her desk, then turned to face Buffy.

"Yeah," Buffy said distractedly, moving to gaze out the window. "But not in a green, pine scented and dangling from a rear view window kinda way," she added without humor.

Willow, feeling the change in her friend's mood, moved over and put a hand on Buffy's shoulder.

"Hmm?" Buffy turned around, looking at the redhead. "No, of course not." She shook her head. "Why?"

"You seem kinda...I don't know, distant?" Willow said, shrugging, letting her arm fall from the Slayer's shoulder.

"Oh, it's nothing really. I just..." Buffy trailed off, moving over to the bed and sitting down. "I guess you could say my Slayer-sense is tingling, about this whole cross thing."

Buffy shook her head, trying to focus. "But it's nothing that can't wait," she said, looking up at the redhead with a smile.

Relieved that Buffy didn't seem to have second thoughts about the two of them, Willow sat down next to Buffy, one leg curled underneath her. She reached forward and took one of Buffy's hands in her own.

"So, what you wanna do?" the redhead asked, peering into hazel eyes, and caressing Buffy's hand with her thumb.

Buffy's breath hitched at the soft touch, and not bothering to answer she leaned forward and placed her lips on Willow's. Tracing the witch's lower lip with her tongue, Buffy drew her fingers through red hair, gently tugging as she leaned in and pressed her tongue inside Willow's mouth, unable to let out a small growl.

Pulling back after the intense kiss, Buffy smiled at Willow's dazed expression, her cheeks flushed, her eyes half closed and the beginnings of a smile on her lips.

"So, umm," Buffy said, her voice barely more than a whisper. "You wanted to talk?" she asked, softly caressing Willow's upper arms.

"Oh, right," Willow said, scooting closer. She looked Buffy in the eyes, then leaned forward and placed a soft, chaste kiss on her lips before pulling back again.

Though surprised by the question, Buffy didn't hesitate to answer. "Yes," she said with a small nod.

With that, she leaned forward and kissed Buffy more heatedly, pushing her down on the bed. She pressed her body into Buffy's, both girls moaning in pleasure as their breasts pushed together.

Breaking the kiss with a few soft nips, Willow leaned up a bit, gazing down at a smiling Buffy.

Willow chuckled. "For now," she admitted and leaned down, fusing their lips together again.

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Nymphomaniac Fantasia
Fumbling Towards Ecstasy

by Jin Hayte

Copyright © 2004

Jinhayte@hotmail.com

Nymphomaniac Fantasia Fumbling Towards Ecstasy

by Jin Hayte

Copyright © 2004

Jinhayte@hotmail.com

Nymphomaniac Fantasia
Fumbling Towards Ecstasy