Lost Letters

by Jennifer

Copyright © 2002-2003

willowtaralove@netzero.com

Chapter 6

After sitting there, for about the last seven or ten minutes debating what to do, Tara finally made a decision. She wasn't sure if it would turn out in the end to have been the right one, but nonetheless, she was following her heart and this is what it told her to do.

She was weak when it came to matters of the heart, always had been.

Now, instead of debating any longer, she went for it; jumping in feet first and hoping that she would land smoothly. Every fiber of her being was scared that she would be rejected, or turned down, but she felt that she HAD to do this.

The blonde wanted Willow back in her life, completely, on every level, in every aspect of the word.

So, this was it. Tara got up from the swing and walked quietly back into the house, as silently as she could, making her way towards Willow's bedroom. When she reached the room, the door was open. It seemed to know that she would come.

Leaning against the doorframe, the Wicca peered in at the other girl, who at the moment was just pulling on a pair of sweat pants. Tara watched as the gray material slipped up over the hacker's naked backside. She knew she shouldn't be spying on her soul-mate like this, but she couldn't seem to pull her eyes away.

A bra was the only thing covering the redhead's upper body. Her hair was now dry, having been blow-dried just a few minutes prior. She was however, reaching for her t-shirt, on the bed, when she heard a soft voice from the doorway.

Spinning around, she turned to face the voice, covering her chest with her shirt.

"No underwear? That's kind of risky, isn't it?" The blonde grinned, cheekily and crossed her arms over her stomach, her eyes locking with the other girl's across the room.

Willow looked slightly horrified. "Tara! What are you doing?" She frantically tried to cover her chest even more.

"Watching you," Tara replied, nonchalantly. She looked down at her feet and then tilted her head as she looked back up, giving Willow a sideways glance, letting her hair fall in her face somewhat.

"…But, but… I…" Willow sputtered. She was very shocked at the moment.

The blonde witch smiled briefly, but it started to fade away when the other girl began to try and put her shirt on.

Pushing off the doorway, she took a few steps towards her. "No, Willow."

With Tara approaching her, her cheeks started to warm themselves from within. Pausing her movements, she caught the blue eyes with her own. "Why?" she asked, in a small voice.

"Can I look at you?" Tara finally came to a stop, right in front of her. Searching the other girl's gaze, she cautiously reached forward and closed her hand around the redhead's lower arm. Pulling it towards her body, she let her own hand snake down the silky flesh, until it gripped the hand attached.

Breathing calmly, she brought the hand up to her own chest and rested the palm over her heart.

"Feel that?"

Willow nodded when she felt the heart pounding wildly against her palm. "I did that?"

Caressing the back of the appendage with her thumb, Tara nodded. "You always have." Keeping her eyes locked on the emerald green orbs, she continued to hold the hand over her heart, but with her other hand, she gripped the shirt in Willow's hand and gingerly started to pull it away.

The hacker didn't protest. She was still stunned, but also happy and maybe a little turned on, that the blonde wanted to look at her.

Once her shirt was fully pulled away, Tara let it drop to the floor beside their feet. All the while, she kept her eyes on the woman's she loved, but soon they started a downward journey.

They traveled over the redhead's nose and down to her lips, re-memorizing every detail – every line and curve, watching as the tip of a pink tongue poked through, wetting them.

As her vision lowered over the girl's chin and trickled down her neck, she looked up one more time, catching the green eyes with hers. Tara wanted permission, reassurance. When she found it reflected there, she diverted her eyes again and they traveled down her neck and to the start of Willow's chest.

From her neckline to the beginning of the white silky fabric of the girl's bra, her eyes bathed in the fawn goodness, wading from one side of flesh to the other.

They paused their swim, to take in the sight of the necklace that was proudly hanging from Willow's neck. It was the locket she-had given to the redhead. Her eyes traced the lettering of the word Always, and her heart fluttered. Tara was amazed that the other girl had kept it all this time.

Finally, her eyes traveled even lower, tracing the round globes of flesh, concealed in fabric. They were lovely, so gorgeous.

"You're so beautiful, Willow. Just like I remembered." Taking a step closer, she caught the girl's eyes up again. "May I?" she whispered.

Gulping, the hacker's pupils enlarged. This woman was standing so close to her, so close and she was asking permission to touch her. She would be crazy not to say yes.

Right now though, her voice was somewhere other than in her vocal cords. Nodding, she answered the blonde silently.

Tara squeezed Willow's hand that was still resting over her heart and lifted it off her skin, bringing it down and dropping it. Lifting her hands, she brought them up to the redhead's face and cupped her cheeks.

Caressing flesh with her thumbs, her digits glided softly over the surface. As they explored, she leaned in and pressed her lips to a warm forehead, lingering briefly. Trailing her lips down, she kissed the tip of Willow's nose.

She kept her left hand on the girl's face, but un-cupping her right from the cheek it occupied, her index finger came to rest on the bridge of the redhead's nose. Starting to move down the plane of skin, she watched her love close her eyes.

When Willow breathed out, she whimpered, "Tara."

"What?" Tara replied, her finger now leaving the nose and coming down to the ruby red lips below it. She glided the pad over the sensitive flesh.

The hacker kissed the digit as it played on her mouth. Her tongue slid forward and licked the surface.

Letting her girl's tongue play for a few gentle licks before she moved her hand again, the finger now snuck down Willow's chin.

Sighing in frustration, Willow whispered, "Tara, I want…"

The blonde moved lower, her flesh tickling under the girl's chin and descending down her neck. Going steeper still, down and down she went. Passing the collar bones, breastbone, and over the locket, coming to a stop in between the redhead's breasts.

"What do you want?" Her voice was deep. She loved this game.

"I, I want to kiss you." Willow shivered with anticipation.

Smiling, Tara wet her own lips. "Patience, sweetie. Now… open your eyes."

Doing what was asked of her, the hacker opened her eyes. Her arms moving forward as she lightly gripped the waist in front of her.

The blonde searched the green eyes before her, looking as deeply as she could. Slowly and gingerly, her finger played with the front clasp of her girl's bra. Bending the right side in a bit, she then lifted it up with her index finger and thumb.

Still keeping their eyes locked, she let the front flaps fall open, letting the breasts escape their confines.

Moving her hands to Willow's shoulders, she fingered the straps on each side before gently pulling them over her shoulders and letting them fall down the other girl's arms.

Willow let go of Tara's waist and let her bra fall the rest of the way to the floor, kicking it to side. Now, standing exposed, her upper body naked besides the necklace around her throat, she still held the blonde's eyes.

Tara's palms moved over the hacker's shoulders, massaging the flesh. "Can I touch you, my sweet, Willow?"

"Only you," the redhead said, without hesitation. Her eyes smiled into the blonde Wicca's, before the blue eyes looked away and down.

Palming her way down the front of Willow's torso, she stopped when she reached the smaller breasts. Her thumbs brushed over the nipples, which instantly hardened at the touch, before lightly cupping them fully and squeezing them.

"Mmmm…" Willow moaned, her arms shooting forward and gripping the blonde's waist again.

"Like that?" Tara squeezed again, a little more pressure this time.

"Yess…" the hacker's skin hummed where her girl touched her.

Palming down even further, the blonde witch's hands circled around and held Willow's waist. She pulled her close and embraced her love. Her hands ran up and down the naked back, trying to pull her even closer.

Twisting her head slightly, Willow kissed Tara's lower cheek.

The blonde's eyes fluttered shut and she breathed in and out deeply, through her nose. She was finally happy, safe and in the arms of the woman she would always love. They had a lot to talk about, but for now, they just co-existed, happy to be together.

Tara was starting to realize though, that this wasn't enough. She ached for more. Willow was like a drug and she wanted to get high.

"Do you trust me, Willow?" Tara squeezed her girl's waist, searching her gaze.

"My whole life." That was about as honest as Willow could be, never had she not trusted this woman.

Looking from one green eye to the other, Tara smiled. Her own trust was reflected back to the other girl. Despite everything they had been through in the past, she did still trust the redhead. They had both grown and matured over the years, molding into the women they were meant to be.

"I want to touch you again, but this time I want to taste you." Her mouth watered at just that prospect.

Willow grinned her acceptance of that statement, nodding her head for more emphasis. "You know… I just had a thought."

Raising her left eyebrow in question, the blonde whispered. "Care to share?"

After letting go of her waist, the hacker's right hand smoothed its way up Tara's front, coming up to cup her chin, her thumb whispering over the lush, full lips. "Well…" she drew out the word, her tone playful. "I believe, if I remember correctly, that it was the same thought that you had yesterday and just a little while ago."

"Is it?" Tara locked her eyes with Willow's.

"I'm pretty sure it is." She pulled the blonde witch even closer, her thumb still caressing.

"Why don't you show me?" Her voice was but a mere, whisper – husky with need.

"I would love to." Willow moved her hand and sifted it through the blonde hair, to the back of her head. Pulling her face forward, their lips not even an inch apart. "I love you," her features were suddenly serious.

"I love you," Tara's voice held the same tone.

Closing the distance between them, the hacker brought their lips together. Brushing them softly, Willow sighed. As her mouth moved on Tara's, she stilled her movement, letting herself linger on the other girl.

When she pulled away, she pressed her forehead to the blonde's, closing her eyes. Willow forcibly held them shut, trying her hardest to hold back the tears that wanted to fall.

The Wicca's lips were haunted now, with the memory of that kiss; so soft and tender – it was perfect. She licked her lips and pulled her forehead back when she felt something wet slip down her cheek.

Looking at the other girl's face, she found her crying silently. "You're crying."

Willow pulled her hand back down to Tara's waist, encircled it and hugged her close. "I missed you, so much. Kissing you… that's all I've wanted for so long, Tara."

Tara sighed and treaded her right hand up into the red tresses, holding the back of the hacker's head. "You can kiss me anytime you want to, now." She half smiled as she said those words.

Willow turned her head, burying it in the right side of the blonde's neck. "What happens when you leave?"

"The only place I will be going is back to my house." Tara kneaded the back of her love's scalp.

"In LA," the redhead whimpered, wiping her eyes on the skin under it.

"No, in Sunnydale." There, she said it. Now she waited for the response.

Willow's body froze and she moved back, looking the blonde witch in the eyes, searching them, and checking to see if she had heard correctly. "What?"

Pulling her hand from her hair and reaching up, Tara cupped her girl's face, wiping away the last tell tale signs of tears with the pads of her thumbs. She smiled. "I moved back to Sunnydale, three days ago, sweetie."

"Oh," Willow stood stunned. She hadn't expected this. It made her inexplicably happy, but it was still a shock. A good shock, though. "Oh! So, you're here to stay?" Her eyebrows rose, her lips tickling with a smile.

The blonde nodded and watched the other girl's lips form a goofy smile. "Is that okay?"

"Yes, definitely good; much with the good. I can't tell you how good that is. It's perfect, in fact. Very perfect."

"Goddess, I've missed you." Tara's heart soared at the familiar babble.

Willow leaned in and softly kissed the blonde. "That goes both ways, baby."

Tara's heart leapt at that word; "Say that again."

"Baby?" The hacker questioned; the other girl's nod was her cue. "You still are, right? I mean… if you don't wanna be, that's fine. I'll understand. I just thought…"

Lips pressing firmly against her own shut her up. That's all the answer she needed, to calm her worries. Returning the gesture, she breathed out deeply through her nose.

Tara deepened the kiss, slightly, holding Willow as close as she could. Her tongue ached to slide into the girl's mouth, but she held it back. She ended the kiss, but then left another short lip hug on Willow's lips before pulling away, completely.

Now, looking at the redhead's face, she waited for her to open her eyes. When she did, they both grinned at each other. "Hi."

"Hi, baby." Willow's toothy grin attempted to consume her whole face; she was so happy to say that word again.

Tara couldn't hold her own grin at bay, as it played across her lips.

The redhead's smile slowly faded away and she now looked confused. "Wait… how did you find me yesterday? How did you know where I would be?"

Taking Willow's hands in her own, the blonde led them over to the bed. She sat down on the edge and patted the space beside her. Once the hacker sat down, she started to explain. "Dawnie e-mailed me about your mom. I went to your parents house, looking for you, to give you my respects and your dad told me where you were."

Willow just nodded and then smiled, softly. "Thank you for coming." She squeezed the hands in hers.

"Of course, sweetie." Tugging at her right hand, she locked eyes with the other girl. "How are you, doing?"

Sighing, the redhead nodded. "I'm okay." Squeezing her hands again, she added, "Better… now that you're here." She leaned her brow into Tara's forehead. "Baby… I want to ask you something and I'll understand if you say no. I just need to do this."

The blonde pulled back to look at the other girl's face, her features taking on a curious and concerned form, once she saw how much Willow was concentrating. "What, what is it?" She asked, hesitantly.

"Tara… can you ever forgive me, for what I did to you… to, us…" her voice trailed off at the end, shame plaguing her abilities to speak any longer.

"Willow, sweetie… look at me." When their eyes met, she looked at her seriously. "I forgive you. I did a long time ago. Um…" She paused, closing her eyes and taking in a deep breath, steeling herself for her own question. "Can you ever forgive, ME? For leaving you, when you needed me most?"

Leaning forward, the redhead kissed her. It was a firm embrace, her mouth holding Tara's, not moving. After several seconds, she pulled back, searching out the other girl's eyes once again. "I'll be honest. I don't think I need to forgive you for anything. I don't blame you for leaving me. You did what you had to, baby and I thank you… for that. I thank you ‘cause, if you hadn't left, I don't know if I ever would have been able to give up the magic."

Gently, she smiled. "… But, yes… I do forgive you," her voice was breaking and a strong urge, the need to cry, was boiling to the surface. "Please, don't ever leave me again, Tara. I can't… I couldn't take it… if you ever did."

There it was. That was all the more she could say, as her damn burst open, tears flooding her cheeks. She lunged forward, grabbing Tara and pulling her in as close as she could. Her hands crawled up into the blonde hair and she suddenly pulled away from the bone crushing hug, melting her mouth onto the blonde's, and kissing her hard.

Tara sat stunned for a brief heartbeat, before her brain processed what was happening. When it did, is when she answered back. Lifting her hands away from the hacker's back, she pushed them up into the red hair, mirroring the hands that were in her own and she kissed the lips on hers back, with a vengeance.

She drank from them, milking them of every ounce of need that she could find. She took Willow's need and fed her back, her own.

The redhead's hands tightened in the blonde strands and her tongue plunged into the other girl's mouth, stroking and probing at Tara's and then finally she sucked the blonde's tongue into her mouth - hungrily. She couldn't get enough of this woman. She was like honey, that sweet nectar that made your mouth water and yearn for more, needing something to drink it down.

Tara's hands pulled out of the hacker's hair and she grabbed onto the sides of her face, pushing her back gently. She needed air. Her lungs were demanding it. She let their foreheads fall together, once their lips parted.

Willow was in about the same state, almost gasping for air. "W…wow…" she stammered, pulling the air in, taking as deep of breaths that she could, her hands still buried in soft blonde hair.

Her breathing was becoming more controlled now, her heart calming down to normal beats. It was still pumping a little bit wildly, but not as much as before. "Tell me… tell me about, LA?" Willow asked, trying to strike up some kind of conversation while they recuperated.

Tara smiled seductively and looked at the redhead. "I will… but later. Right now… there are other things I want to do."

"Do you, now. Wanna tell me?" She kissed the corner of Tara's lips and shivered, when she saw the look on her girl's face. She took in another lungful of air, her heart and breathing mostly calmed now. Hers matched the blonde's.

"No. I want to show you," the Wicca whispered.

"You know how much I love a, show and tell presentation." She grinned.

Tara did know that. She remembered many of those presentations, in fact. "Will you do something for me?"

"Anything," Willow answered, without hesitation.

The blonde caressed the other girl's cheeks with her fingers. "You said yesterday, that you felt lost. I want to find you. Will you let me?"

"Anytime you want to," Willow replied, looking into Tara's gaze.

Leaning over, she pressed her lips to the hackers, tasting them very slowly. This kiss was torturous compared to the one they had shared moments ago. When she pulled away, she spoke. Her voice was husky, barely recognizable. "I need you, Willow."

"You have me," the redhead kissed her again.

"I want you," Tara corrected.

"Then take me. I'm yours." Willow moaned when her lips were covered with the blonde's.

Chapter 7

Willow awoke, the urgent need to empty her bladder was screaming at her. She groaned as her eyes opened. Her lids squinted, the sun catching her eyes. That was not a pleasant sensation.

Lifting her head, her right hand came up to her face, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She felt something brush against her bare stomach and looked down. Tara's thumb was making gentle caresses along her flesh, as she slept.

That's when everything registered. She was here, in her own bed, with the blonde sleeping beside her. They had made love through most of the day and night, yesterday, talking, as they reconnected. It had been amazing to be with Tara again. She had missed the experience, but soon realized that she still knew her lover well. Her brain had memorized everything about her; how she liked to be touched, kissed, and made love to. It was etched into her permanent memory.

Now, looking over at the other girl, a whole wave of emotions swept through her. Her brain was in overload. Question after question ringing in her ears. The biggest one: Was this real?

Her question was answered, when she felt Tara's thumb move again. The girl was still in a deep sleep; her caresses were subconscious, done without thought – without recollection.

Reaching down, she gently lifted her lover's hand off of her stomach and lowered it to the bed beside her. She gingerly moved her upper body to the right, letting Tara's head slide off of her shoulder and rest on the pillow.

The blonde whimpered at the loss of contact, but eventually settled back down, remaining in her dream state.

Willow looked down at her before turning to her dresser. Finding some clean clothes and underwear, she made her way to the bathroom. She needed a shower and time to think.

Standing in front of her bathroom mirror, the redhead stared at her reflection, her eyes tracing the aging lines of her face. She wasn't 21 anymore. No. She was much older.

She was a new Willow, one that had faced her years alone. Well, she hadn't really been alone. She had, Buffy and Xander, her two best friends. They had helped her along the way, but that didn't change the fact that for the most part, her heart had coasted along, alone.

Not having anyone to call her own or anyone to love. That was by her choosing, though. She chose to be single. Willow could have had any girl that she wanted and there were many that had shown an interest. Many that had flirted their way into at least one night of fun and interesting conversation.

It was simple though. They never stood a chance, not with her anyhow. Her heart was somewhere else. It had been for the past 8 years.

She woke up alone, in an oversized bed. Yes, that's the way she preferred it. She would sleep and wake up to only herself, dreaming about what she wished she could have.

Now, staring at herself in the mirror, a mirage of images flew through her conscious. She saw herself crying in her room, as her everything walked out of her life and left her behind. Another flash brought back the memory of sobbing and clinging to Buffy, when she had felt like just giving up.

She saw all of these things; flashes from her past and recent doings. The last one left her shaken to the core though. It was of herself lying in bed and awakening to another person sleeping beside her; the person that she had wanted, but couldn't have.

The same woman who could make her heart pound out of her chest, with just a fleeting thought. It was, Tara in all her glory, lying there and just being.

Only, it wasn't supposed to happen this way. Her Tara wasn't supposed to be there when she woke up. She was supposed to be a memory, a beautiful figment of her imagination. Although, the previous night hadn't been a dream or a fantasy created by her, own crazed mind.

It was real. It had actually happened.

She was terrified.

She freaked.

Tara awoke sometime after Willow had. She didn't know when. All she knew is that her lover was not there and that she was alone in the room.

Throwing the covers off her body, she stood, stretching her arms above her head. She went about gathering up her clothes, slipping them on before she left the room for the bathroom.

There wasn't very much noise in the house, it was deathly quiet. The only thing she could hear as she approached the hallway to the living room was a soft tapping. Rounding the corner, she could now see the source of the sound.

Willow was sitting on the couch, her laptop open on the table in front of it. Her fingers were typing away, obviously in deep concentration. She didn't even look up when Tara entered.

"Morning, sweetie," she said gently, not wanting to disturb the other girl.

"Hey," the redhead replied, not looking up.

Tara watched her from where she stood. Her shoulders looked somewhat tight, the expression on her face was unreadable. Willow was upset about something; she could feel the tension flowing off of her.

"Are you okay?" the blonde questioned, concerned. She took a step closer, but not much.

"Sure. Why wouldn't I be?" Willow's tone of voice was flat, somewhat cold. She was moving her finger around on the mouse, saving something. She was definitely distracted.

Tara watched as she closed her computer and picked up her glass, standing to move away. The Wicca grabbed her upper arm, making her stop her movement, as she went to walk past her. Her fingers reached up and tucked the red locks behind the other girl's ear, with her other hand.

"What's wrong, Willow?" She tried to search her eyes, her concern was heightened now; the redhead was definitely upset about something.

Looking down at the hand that was gently gripping her arm, her eyes lifted and locked with her lover's. "I'm fine," the hacker replied, not convincingly. Her gaze dropped to her arm again, her opposite hand closing over Tara's and pulling it away. She stepped around the girl and walked into the kitchen.

Tara followed her silently, observing her lover. Had she done something to upset her? She didn't get her mood. "There's obviously something bothering you, Willow. Will you please talk to me? Have I done something?" Her brow furrowed and she licked her lips, waiting for an answer.

Setting her glass in the sink, she looked over at her lover. Their eyes locked, but the hacker said nothing.

Tara had, had enough of this nonsense. "Dammit, Willow… tell me what's going on!" Her arms crossed over her chest, facial features resolved.

All the redhead did was laugh before her mouth lost its smile and she started moving back towards the entrance to the kitchen, standing about a foot away from the other girl. "I told you. Nothing."

"Well, I don't believe you." She took a few steps closer to her girl, reaching for her. When Willow moved away from the questing hand, Tara let out a frustrated breath. "Please… don't lie to me."

Standing directly in front of the blonde now, she shook her head. "You don't have the right to tell me what to do anymore. You lost that privilege when you left. In fact," she walked past her, "That's something you're good at. You just leave when people need you the most, not caring what they are going through."

Tara spun around, grabbing the redhead by the arm and turning her around to face her. "Don't you do this to me. We already talked about this." She let Willow's arm go roughly, just staring at her for a moment. That's when it dawned on her and she started to see the theme in the last few things that Willow had said.

Shaking her head, she looked her in the eyes. "That's what this is about, isn't it? You're pissed. You're pissed because I'm still here. I didn't leave, so you're panicking. Am I right?" She stared her down, knowing that what she said was the truth.

Willow backed away from her lover and walked to the right, stepping up to the front door, looking out the window. "You don't know what you're talking about." Her tone was somewhat calmer now, but it still held some of the venom she had shown before.

"Yes I do." Tara cautiously approached the other woman, stopping before she actually reached her. "You don't know how to handle yourself or what's happening between us because, I'm still here."

"Shut up," the redhead whispered, coldly.

"What? Don't tell me to shut up, Willow. You're acting like a child. You can't even face me when you're talking to me." The blonde grabbed her shoulder, trying to turn her around.

She fought off the hand, keeping her gaze on the window. "Stop it."

Groaning, the blonde didn't say anything for a short time. She just looked at the back of her lover's head. She knew where all of this was coming from, but she didn't see it ever resolving itself if the other girl kept acting selfish.

"Turn around," she asked calmly.

Willow thought about it and was actually close to doing what the blonde asked, but she didn't. She refused to turn around and admit that Tara was right. "No."

"I'm not going to play these games with you," and she meant it. This was childish.

"Fine. Don't. I need to go anyway. I have some work to do," the redhead spat and sidestepped the blonde Wicca and walked over to the table, picking up her keys. All the while she kept her face out of view, not wanting to show herself.

"You're leaving?" Tara watched as Willow reached for the doorknob to leave. She grabbed her hand and tried to pry it away to turn the other girl towards her.

Yanking her hand down, she did turn around. She stepped right up to the blonde and looked her in the eyes. Her face was stained with fresh tears that had silently fallen. "I'm going to work. Goodbye, Tara."

The Wicca watched as her lover turned back around and started to open the door. "Willow, please. We need to talk about this. I love you, please stay." Her voice was cracking with every word, her heart racing. This actually felt like a goodbye and that was something that she would not accept.

Despite the blonde's pleading, Willow steeled herself and opened the door, walking outside. "Goodbye." She shut the door as Tara said her last words.

"No, it's not." Tara didn't know what to do. She had done all she could to get the other girl to stay, but Willow was stubborn and she had known that before this morning. This would not be goodbye though, not without a fight.

The redhead stopped walking when she reached the bottom of the steps and she turned around. Her tears were still falling and she wanted to run back in the house and make things right, but she just couldn't. She wouldn't give in.

Angrily wiping at her face with her hand, she quickly walked to her car and climbed in.

Watching from the window, Tara watched Willow walk away and then the car pull out and disappear from her sight. That's when she lost it. She broke down, all of her self control disappearing, leaving a waterfall of tears in it's path.

She slowly walked into the living room, collapsing into one of the chairs. Picking up the phone handset on the table beside the furniture, she dialed a number she still knew by heart.

"I need your help," she spoke, when the other party picked up.

Willow slammed the door to her office, as she walked through it. Throwing her keys on her desk, she slumped into her chair.

This wasn't exactly the way she wanted her day to go. She didn't like not being in control of things. At least things that had to do with her, personally.

Tara had been right. She was confused and unsure of what to do when she had seen the blonde lying next to her in the bed. She wasn't supposed to be there. She should have left to never come back. Or better yet, what should have happened when she awoke was that none of the previous day took place. It should have been a dream, a very powerful dream, but still that.

Of course, things were never that easy though. So, she had blown it way out of proportion and hurt the woman she loved in the process.

She knew Tara would never forgive her for this. Why would she? She had deliberately said all of those things to hurt Tara. And she was being childish. That she could agree with.

Question now was: Where do I go from here?

"Thought I'd find you here," Buffy said as she shut the door behind her, strolling into the office. She was on a mission.

Willow had been so caught up in what she was doing, that she hadn't heard the door open. "Go away, Buffy," she said without looking up.

"Sorry. No can do." She stepped in front of the desk, placing her hands on the edge and leaning over so she was almost in the other girl's personal space. "Are you insane?"

"Yep. Very happily, if I might add," she laughed bitterly and kept working on the project she was trying to finish. "Now, if you'll excuse me… I have to get this finished."

The Slayer watched as Willow looked up from the paper she was writing on, to check something on her computer. Buffy took that opportunity to reach over and pick up the paper.

Grabbing for the other girl's hand, "Give me that, Buffy!"

Throwing the paper on the floor behind her, the blonde leaned back over on the desk, taking her previous position. "I'll give it back after you listen to what I have to say." She waited for an answer.

"Fine," Willow threw her pen down and crossed her arms over her chest, leaning back in her chair and glaring at the Slayer.

"Willow Rosenberg, you're my best friend, but right now I could really kick your ass." She stood up and started a slow walk around to the other side of the desk. When she got there, she sat on the edge and stared down at the redhead, a look of utter control on her face.

The hacker had the courtesy to look a little intimidated as she backed her chair up some, but kept her composure. She knew that look. She had seen Buffy give it more times than she could remember, when facing down a vampire or trying to get her point across to someone. It was a little scary.

"Here's the deal. Tara called me right after you left; she was crying. I could hardly understand anything that she was saying, so I went over to your house. We had a little chat." Buffy lifted her head up, pursing her mouth and rolling over in her head what to say next.

When she looked back down at the other girl, she leaned forward some, moving a little bit closer to Willow. "Word is, that you snapped at her and said a whole lot of hurtful things. Am I right so far?"

The redhead raised her eyes and looked into Buffy's. She closed her eyes momentarily and nodded her head.

"Are you stupid or just plain crazy?" The blonde looked at her with disbelief written all over her features.

Squeezing her eyes shut, Willow swallowed hard. She dropped her head and nodded.

Buffy looked down at her best friend and pushed herself off the desk. Kneeling down in front of the chair, she reached over and squeezed the redhead's hand. "Will, look at me."

Eyes still closed, Willow lifted her head. When she opened her eyes, tears fell from them as she looked into Buffy's face. The other girl no longer looked at her with anger or disappointment, she was now looking at her with comfort and a little bit of confusion.

"I don't get it, Will. This is, Tara. The woman you have been in love with since… forever. She comes back into your life and then you do this. Are you intentionally trying to push her away? ‘Cause that's what it looks like from where I'm sitting." The blonde let go of the hacker's hand and placed her own on the arm of the chair, helping her balance herself.

Willow lifted her hand and wiped her tears away. She cursed at herself mentally for falling apart. She was supposed to remain composed. She couldn't give in and admit defeat. However, now, opening her eyes and looking at the girl kneeling in front of her, she didn't know what to do.

She looked away.

Buffy sighed and closed her eyes. When she opened them again, she sought out the hackers. "Will…"

Her bottom lip trembling, Willow looked at her friend's face.

"Come on. This is me… talk to me. Let me help." Reaching over and up, the Slayer wiped the tears away from the girl's face, waiting to see what she would do.

"I… God, Buffy, I think I really… messed up." Her tears were falling harder now. "I just… I freaked. When I woke up… and she was there… I freaked."

"I know; I get it. Tara doesn't though. You need to talk to her. She thinks she did something wrong…"

Willow cut her off, "… But… she didn't. I was the one…"

"… Who came down with the craziness?" the blonde finished for her. Repositioning herself, so she was sitting up on her knees, she coaxed Willow forward and embraced her. She sent all the calming energy towards her that she could. Her voice was gentle, when she spoke again.

"You were scared. I know what that's like," Buffy reassured her.

"I… I didn't expect her to be there when I woke up. I thought… I thought I was still dreaming." Her arms loosened their grip, but she still kept a hold around the blonde's shoulders. She could feel the energy that was being sent into her and it was soothing.

Willow started to slowly pull away though, her body calm, her tears drying up. When she pulled away completely, she rested in her chair.

"Will," Buffy waited for her friend to look at her and their eyes locked. "She's waiting for you."

The hacker's bottom lip quivered at those last four words. "She is?"

Giving her a short nod, she pulled her back in for a hug.

"Thank you, Buffy…" Willow closed her eyes, squeezing them tight, milking out the last of her tears. Her arms tightened around her friend's back, giving back what she could as thanks.

"No big. I think you should go talk to her. She said she would wait for you, but I wouldn't keep her waiting for too long." She gave the redhead a final squeeze before pulling away and pushing herself up, one hand on the chair and the other on Willow's knee.

Bringing both hands up now, she wiped at her eyes. Brushing away her tears, her heart felt heavy and her stomach was suddenly filled with butterflies that were fluttering around.

The blonde reached down and cupped the girl's chin, lifting her face up so she could look at her. "Do the right thing," Buffy whispered before turning to leave.

"Buffy?" Willow called out to her, watching her turn around to face her.

"Yeah?" The Slayer gripped the doorknob, ready to leave.

"I'm sorry for being a big meanie when you first got here," she smiled at her friend, appreciatively.

Returning the smile, Buffy opened the door, turning to leave. "Don't worry about it. Go get your girl." With that said, she left the office and closed the door behind her. A few seconds later, she came back in the office and walked over to the paper she had thrown down.

"Here… sorry," her cheeks blushed a little.

Willow laughed. "I deserved it. Thank you."

Stepping to the open door, her fingers gripped around the doorknob, ready to pull it shut again. "Call me. Love ya, Will." She winked as she finally shut the door.

Suddenly, the redhead's stomach dropped and she was nervous. "Okay… I can do this," she said to herself. She saved the program she was working on to her hard drive and then shut her computer down.

Grabbing her keys, she closed her eyes and pulled in a deep breath. "Here goes nothing."

Walking to the door, she opened it and flipped off the light, closing her office door. Slipping her key in the knob, she locked it up.

This was it. No turning back.

Willow stood silently at the door to her bedroom, looking in at the sleeping figure on her bed. She saw that the woman was clutching a blue shirt to her chest, her nose hidden underneath a piece of the garment, as if she had been inhaling the scent it held before falling into slumber.

This is where she had found Tara after arriving back home. She had hesitantly entered the house, convinced that her lover was still there due to her car still being parked in the driveway. When she didn't see the blonde, she had gone looking for her and this is where she was led.

Walking over to the bed, she looked down at Tara's face. Even though she was asleep, her features held pain and Willow knew she was the cause of that. She wanted so much to just ease it away. However, to do that, she would have to wake the other woman up and that was something she didn't want to do just yet.

Instead, she kneeled down beside the bed. Her arms crossed and rested on the mattress in the small vacant space next to the blonde's body.

Tara was laying half way on her back, half on her side. Her face was facing upward, toward the ceiling. Despite her pained features, she seemed to be sleeping restfully.

Willow's heart ached and tears formed in her eyes, as she just observed. Her tears slipping down her cheeks, she reached her right hand over and gingerly cupped her girl's cheek. Her thumb grazed her cheekbone, not hard enough to rouse Tara though.

Taking her hand away, slowly after a few moments, she stood up. Leaning down, she cautiously pulled the shirt away from her girl's face and brought her lips to Tara's and just held them. Her mouth lingered for a few seconds before she pulled away whispering, "I love you."

When she stood back up, the redhead took one last glance at the sleeping woman, before turning for the door. She wouldn't wake her up. She could wait; as long as necessary, she would wait.

Willow had just reached the door, when she heard a groggy voice speak to her.

"Willow?" the voice said.

Stopping in place, the hacker closed her eyes and froze. Her heart started to pound rapidly in her chest. She felt a shiver run through her body, as she turned around and met the eyes of her lover.

Tara was sitting up on the bed. She had let go of the shirt she had been holding and had placed it to the left of her, on the bed.

Her blue eyes beckoned with Willow's, begging her not to leave.

"I…" testing her voice, the redhead took a tentative step towards the bed. "Baby, you were asleep."

"I felt you here," her voice quivered as she continued to stare into green eyes, desperately wanting them to come closer.

Willow seemed to take the hint. Her feet taking her closer to the bed, until she was standing next to it. She didn't know what to do next. Tara was so close and all she wanted to do was take her in her arms and kiss away the pain of the last few hours, but was it that simple?

"Willow," the blonde's voice cracked with emotion and her right arm moved as if gesturing the other girl to her.

Sitting down on the bed, she sat there for a brief second before leaning over and encircling her lover in her arms, squeezing her tightly to her body. "Tara…" her voice trailed off and she buried her face into the other girl's warm neck, soaking it with her tears.

"Shhh," Tara cried and held her soul-mate, gently rocking them back and forth. It was a comforting movement that seemed to sooth them both.

They sat there for several minutes, the blonde rocking them. Their arms stayed still though, claiming each other's backs.

Willow moved her face against Tara's neck, drying her tears from her eyes. Nuzzling her nose into the woman's throat as she gently pulled away, she looked up into cobalt eyes and graciously smiled.

Leaning forward, she brought their foreheads together and snaked her right hand up into the Wicca's hair. In a sudden move, she whimpered softly and brought her lips down to Tara's, lingering there and then pulling away. She pulled back enough so their lips separated, but she didn't move.

"Baby, I…" she whispered and then was cut off when the other girl captured her lips again. Willow started to cry into the kiss, the blonde slowly following the lead, before she pulled away again and hugged her lover close.

Her fingers sifted through the blonde locks and then came to rest on the back of Tara's head, gently massaging her scalp. "I'm so sorry, Tara. For everything I said earlier and did to you… you don't know how much I hate myself."

Pulling back to look at the redhead's face, she searched her eyes. "W-what happened?"

Willow pulled away and scooted back some, so she could really look at her girl. She pulled her hand from the hair it was resting over and brought her hand down, entwining her fingers with Tara's left hand.

"I freaked. When I woke up and you were here, lying beside me, I panicked. After I took a shower, I was just staring at myself in the mirror and everything started coming back to me and I just… went crazy."

The blonde squeezed the hand in hers and her eyes started to fill with tears again, as she looked into Willow's eyes. "I w-was so s-scared… you…"

"Shhh, baby… Com'ere," she pulled her into her arms, softly rubbing her hand over Tara's back and speaking calmly. "I know I scared you. I scared myself and… I'm so sorry, Tara. I'm so sorry… I know I don't have any right to ask this, but can you ever forgive me?"

"I do, but… don't ever do that… to me again," despite the soft tone of the Wicca's voice, her words were strong, demanding.

Pulling her head around to look at her, Willow nodded her head. "I promise. I won't." Then leaning in, she sealed her promise with a kiss, hugging Tara's lips with her own. Breaking the kiss, she leaned back in and left fleeting kisses against her girl's mouth.

Once she pulled completely away, she hugged her again. "Sweetie, none of this was your fault. It was all me. I just didn't know how to act. My only dream since you left was that you would come back to me and we could be together. When I saw that you were real… I…"

"I understand, I think," Tara replied back, interrupting the rest of the redhead's words. "I was a little scared, too, just because this is all new and I didn't want us to mess things up. I can't live without my, Willow. I need you."

Willow shifted her body back and looked at her lover, holding her eyes. "I need you, too. I always need you. Did… did we mess things up? Please tell me we're okay. I can't… lose you again." Her voice started to break at the end, her tears fighting to come back.

Tara brushed her lips over the hacker's before answering, "I-I want us to be okay. Promise me we'll talk about things next time, before you…"

"Freak out?" The redhead finished the sentence and laughed lightly. "I will." Her face became serious, her eyes fixing Tara's to her own. "I love you, baby."

"I love you, Willow." She smiled, grabbing hold of the front of her lover's shirt and pulling their lips together. She kissed her passionately, trying to show her just how much she loved and needed her.

The redhead gently pushed them down on the bed, propping herself upright on her elbow to the right of Tara's body, their lips brushing together over and over again. They soaked up the forgiveness that she had been granted and gave back everything that Willow could not say.

Everything was momentarily put on hold, as they kissed and held each other, making silent promises that would never again be broken.

Chapter 8

Tara ran her fingers through Willow's hair as she looked in her eyes. She searched them deeply, looking for any signs of uncertainty. "Are you sure?" she asked.

Willow's eyes closed at the affection. She concentrated on Tara's fingers, how they gently pushed through her hair, applying a slight pressure to her scalp as they went. She loved it.

"Yes. Are you?" Opening her eyes, she met the blonde's and found her smiling.

"I've never been more sure of anything." Leaning in, she softly kissed, Willow. Pulling her hand out of the redhead's locks, she brought it down and cupped her cheek, her thumb passing over Willow's ruby lips once she had pulled away.

Looking into her eyes again, she whispered. Her voice was full of emotion. "I love you."

"I love you, too." Kissing the blonde's thumb, she smiled and started to extricate herself from the bed, standing up and facing her girl. Her fingers toyed with the top of her sweat pants, before curling underneath them to pull them down.

Tara reached over and enclosed her hands over Willow's. "Can I?"

Stepping up to her love as close as she could, she walked in between the other girl's legs and letting go of Tara's hands, she pulled her face against her chest, hugging her neck.

Tara closed her eyes and nuzzled her cheek against the soft skin underneath it, as her arms wrapped around the petite waist in front of her. Her nose pulled in the scent that was her love and she sighed. She was happy for this moment and wanted nothing more than to see it through.

Turning her head, she kissed the flesh underneath her lips, loving it with soft kisses.

"I thought you were going to… Oh, Goddess…" Willow's voice trailed off when she felt her girl's mouth moving higher, leaving lingering kisses on the swell of her right breast.

She closed her eyes, massaging the back of the blonde Wicca's neck, feeling a shiver run up her body.

Tara grinned and brought her left hand around, up to the neglected breast and lightly cupped it in her hand. Her thumb running back and forth over the nipple, as she brought her mouth down and left a kiss on the nipple of the redhead's right breast.

Hearing the other girl moan, she looked up and locked eyes with her before swirling her tongue around in a circle over the surface of the areola, making it slick with saliva.

Willow's right hand took purchase on the blonde hair in her hand, taking it in a handful and holding on. She tilted her head back when she felt Tara's mouth close around her nipple, her warm tongue flicking over it, jiggling her flesh somewhat.

Pulling her tongue back, Tara closed her lips around the nub and pulled it into her mouth. Cupping her tongue around it, she suckled greedily.

Arching forward, Willow pushed more of her breast into her lover's mouth, her left hand gripping around the blonde's shoulder and squeezing it.

Tara sucked hungrily, not able to get enough of what was being offered to her. Her left hand squeezed the other breast a little harder and she felt the other girl shiver again.

The hacker let her head fall forward and looked down when she felt the mouth pull away, but she moaned when the girl moved her head and started to pay the same attention to her other breast. "Mmmm," she let out appreciatively.

"Mmmm," the blonde agreed, closing her teeth around the hard nub of Willow's breast and pulling on it lightly. She bit down gently, but soothed the slight pain away with her tongue again, sucking on it.

When Tara placed a gentle kiss on the breast and looked up, the redhead cupped her cheeks and stepping back a little, she bent down, covering Tara's mouth with her own and kissing her soul-mate without abandon.

She kissed her open mouthed, but kept her tongue back, brushing their lips together, over and over again.

They kissed passionately for a few moments, before the blonde moved her hands back down to Willow's waist, resting them over the top of the sweat pants, hooking her index fingers inside on each side.

Pulling out of the kiss, she looked into sapphire eyes and started to pull the material down slowly. She pulled them down over the hacker's hips.

Willow stood up fully, to give the other girl the room to maneuver her sweat pants down. She felt the cooler air sting her flesh, as the pants slid down her legs and fell in a puddle around her feet.

Tara kept her eyes on the redhead's for a brief second, before letting her eyes trail down. She looked down at what she had uncovered and her heart felt heavy. Willow was so beautiful.

Leaning forward, the blonde kissed her lover's stomach.

Soft.

Supple.

Full.

Gentle.

Languorous.

Tender.

That's how she would describe them. They were all that and much more, though. Tracing a pathway up her throat, placing lingering kisses in their wake.

Tara shivered and couldn't help but tip her head back when she felt, Willow's mouth near her larynx. She was thoroughly enjoying the loving attention her neck was being privileged to.

Willow tilted her head more to the right, allowing herself better access to the blonde's throat. Her lips traveled over the curve, sliding the tip of her tongue along the silky skin.

Upon reaching the top of Tara's throat, her lips closed over the girl's larynx, lightly suckling it.

"Mmmm, Willow," the blonde witch, moaned.

"Tara," Willow whispered, her lips vibrating from the moan she received. Her attention reverted back and she continued to suck on the soft flesh.

"Goddess," unhooking her arms from around the hacker's neck, she pushed her hands up into the girl's red locks, holding her head against her throat.

Shifting her hips closer on her lover's lap, her legs tightened around Tara's back. Her own hands snaked up the blonde's back, cupping over and hugging her shoulders. Pulling her mouth away, she left a final kiss on the mark she left.

Tara disentangled her fingers from the redhead's hair and lifted her hands around to gently cup Willow's breasts, her hands squeezing into the small space between them.

Sucking in a lungful of air, the hacker trailed her lips down and started working her way over to the left side of Tara's neck. She stopped however, when she suddenly felt the other girl stiffen, the hands on her breasts clamped down and almost painfully grabbed a hold – hard.

Pulling her head back, Willow looked at Tara, who had ducked her head and was trying to avoid eye contact with her. "Baby? What's wrong? Did I do something wrong?" Her voice was full of panic.

She unhooked her legs and tried to move away, but two strong arms hooked around her waist and held her there.

"N-no, Willow… p-please," Tara's voice was barely a whisper. She didn't look up, but she kept her arms fastened to their hostage.

"Whatever you need. Just tell me what's wrong?" With a look of concern, the redhead waited to see if the blonde would respond. When she didn't, her right hand came around and cupped around Tara's chin, pulling her head up.

Their eyes locked and that's when she caught the first glimpse of tears. The liquid tears were flowing down the blonde Wicca's cheeks, but that wasn't all she saw. The other discovery caught her off guard.

Tara's eyes were full of fear.

"Tara?" she asked again. "Baby, please… talk to me."

The blonde pulled her head back down, but quickly felt it being pulled back up again. She felt her hair fall away from her shoulder and flutter down her back.

That's when Willow noticed something that she hadn't seen until now. "Oh, Goddess…"

Los Angeles – 2002

It had been about a week since Tara had arrived in LA. She had made a daily effort to go out and look for a job. The savings she had taken with her would last a short time, but finding employment was definitely a necessity.

When Tara had received a call at her hotel room for an interview, she was happy; a little nervous, but she was happy, non-the-less. A week of feeling depressed and lonely, with no one to talk to was starting to take its toll on the blonde Wicca.

As it turned out, the only time available when she had called to set up her appointment, was late afternoon – close to breaking in to early evening.

Tara knew there were vampires in LA, so she was hesitant. What if the interview ran over and she was cooped up in a building until after sunset? She was pretty sure she could take care of herself, but there was an underlying risk of danger; that was pretty much guaranteed.

However, even with everything that was at hand, she still went along with the interview.

She should have waited.

Stepping out of the door of the art museum, Tara let the door close behind her gently, as she looked up at the night sky. The stars twinkled at her, as if they were some how communicating in an unknown language.

The blonde was aware that they needed this time apart, but her heart was having a hard time accepting it. Her mind was cloudy from her feelings, her body felt numb. Had her senses been clear, she may have felt the approach of the stranger behind her, but alas – it was too late.

"That's all I can remember. When I woke up, I was in a strange bed in a room I didn't know. Once my eyes had focused, I looked up and that's when I saw him. He was sitting on the bed beside me, wiping my forehead with a washcloth. I couldn't help, but start to cry. He saved my life, Willow."

Tara squeezed her eyes more forcefully shut. The memories of that night were rushing back to her. "When he… the vampire, when he bit me, all I can remember thinking was that I wanted him to take my life. I didn't feel like I wanted to live anymore."

Looking up, the blonde's eyes locked with Willow's green ones and she whispered. "I felt lost without you," her voice quieted at the end.

Tears were streaming down the hacker's face as she stared into her lover's eyes. "B-baby, I'm so s-sorry," Willow stuttered. She leaned the rest of the way forward and embraced the blonde, squeezing her for all she was worth.

"I-it's not your fault," Tara said against the other girl's neck.

"Yes it is. I forced you away. It was my fault that you left and so it's my fault that… that t-thing… attacked you." Willow's tears continued to fall, her arms tightening around Tara's back more forcefully. She clung to her like her very life depended on it.

Letting gravity take over, the blonde Wicca let her body fall back onto the bed, pulling her lover down on top of her. She felt the redhead's naked flesh fall between her legs as she snuggled into her embrace, Willow's arms never letting up on their hold around Tara, only now they were hugging her waist.

"I-I love you, Willow," she said gently.

Willow was resting her cheek on Tara's right shoulder, lying on top of her, lightly tracing the scar on her girl's neck with her finger. She sighed and began to speak in a quiet voice. "I still can't believe he just asked you to move in… and work for him on top of that."

Tara took in a deep breath before replying, "I think he might have felt obligated or something. We didn't really talk about it."

Lifting her head, Willow propped herself up on her elbow beside the blonde's right shoulder. She looked at her finger, still tracing the visible scar. "I'm sorry I didn't notice this before. Does…" her voice trailed off into nothing, unsure if she actually wanted to complete her question.

"Does what?" Tara asked, picking up on the other woman's hesitation.

Shifting her eyes from her finger to sky blue eyes, she held them briefly before speaking. "Does it hurt?" Her voice sounded somewhat frightened, not being able to fathom the thought of her love being in pain.

Tara took Willow's hand away from it's tracing and brought her knuckles up to her lips, kissing them softly while closing her eyes. "Not any more. I still have nightmares sometimes though," she admitted.

"I'm sorry," the redhead sympathized, sorrowfully.

"It's not your fault, sweetie. It was mine. I was stupid to not be prepared while out at night. I did have a stake, but it wasn't anywhere where I could have grabbed it quickly enough." She kissed Willow's hand again while her mind traveled back to that night and her own stupidity.

"Why didn't you use magic?" Willow asked, but when Tara locked eyes with her, she shifted her vision away. "I'm sorry."

Cupping her cheek, the blonde turned her head back to look in her eyes. "It's okay and to be honest, I wasn't thinking about it. Like I said, my frame of mind wasn't exactly the best. Part of me wanted him to just bite me and get it over with."

Her eyes filling with tears at this, Willow let her head drop slowly, not looking at Tara. "I've… caused you so much… pain," her voice was barely audible.

Tara had to force her tears from forming, closing her eyes for a second before opening them and speaking gently. "So have I. For you, I mean."

Looking up at this, tears slipped down the hacker's cheeks. "You didn't do anything wrong, baby. You didn't." She turned her head to the right, letting her lips rest on Tara's palm, giving it lingering kisses, calming her tears.

After a moment of silence, Willow turned her face back and looked at Tara again, her voice still soft but not as emotion filled. "You know, this wasn't exactly what I had in mind when I agreed to be taken." Her voice was somewhat sheepish.

Smiling, Tara rubbed her thumb over her girl's cheek before gingerly pushing her fingers up and sifting them into Willow's hair, cupping the back of her head. "It wasn't?" her voice purred, trying to coax her soul mate to move closer to her.

"No," Willow answered, letting herself be led.

As the blonde continued to pull her head down towards her, she asked, "What did you have in mind?"

Willow paused when her lips were inches away from Tara's, still resting her weight on her elbow, "Can I show you?"

Licking her lips, the gentle woman looked down at Willow's luscious lips and then brought her eyes back up to the green. "Please," her voice almost desperate.

The redhead leaned down and with a soft, "I love you," to her companion, they started to kiss passionately, her hands taking Tara's, entwining their fingers and lifting them above her lover's head.

Her lips started to trail away, kissing their way to the right, trailing down the side of Tara's neck until they come to her pulse point. Her tongue snuck out, hesitantly tracing the bite marks on the woman's neck.

When Tara moaned, Willow traced the scars more confidently before cupping the flat of her tongue around the skin and sucking it into her mouth, earning a moan from her partner.

Tara was taken aback by the hacker's action at first, but soon gave into it. She unlaced the fingers of her left hand from Willow's and brought it down, resting her palm on the back of Willow's head, her fingers massaging the scalp.

She spent a few minutes, sucking and licking her lover's neck before moving her lips to Tara's throat. She kissed and nipped her way along the flesh.

Tipping her head back, the blonde gave her more room. Her breathing increased, soft noises escaping from her lips, her fingers still massaging.

Willow paid the same attention to the other side of Tara's neck, the fingers of her own left hand leaving her soul mate's and coming down beside the blonde's cheek, quickly joined with her other hand at Tara's other cheek.

Her lips gradually moved back to Tara's, as they kissed passionately again, their tongues dancing.

The blonde's right hand came down and rested on top of Willow's back, caressing her skin up and down as soft sighs escaped into the mouth covering hers.

The hacker moaned when Tara's thighs squeezed her own from their position in between the blonde Wicca's legs.

When their lips finally pulled apart, Tara spoke breathily, "Straddle my hips."

As Willow did this, they both bit off a moan when their centers rubbed together.

Quickly grabbing her lover's waist, the blonde begged, "Don't move."

Willow caught on to what she wanted, gently starting to rock her hips, rubbing herself on the other girl.

Tara moved her thighs apart a little more, giving them more room.

"Oh Goddess, that feels good," the redhead groaned loudly. Lifting her hands from Tara's stomach, she slid them up to her breasts, cupping the flesh in both hands and rubbing her thumbs over the nipples.

"Mmmm," Tara groaned out herself, moving her hips with Willow's, tipping her head back briefly before looking up at the redhead. "You're so beautiful," she adoringly whispered.

"Not as beautiful as you," the other replied, dipping her head down to her partner's right breast, running her tongue in a circle around the areola.

Tara's back arched, pushing more of her breast to the redhead's tongue.

Cupping the nipple with her tongue, Willow began to suck on it, gently at first but eventually hungrily. Flicking the stiffened nub with her tongue, while her other hand tweaked the nipple of the blonde's other breast.

Tara's hands squeezed the other woman's flesh, from their position on Willow's waist.

Their hip movements were speeding up now, arousal taking over.

Her lips separated from her love's nipple with a pop, a groan escaping Willow's lips. "Gods, you feel so good. I want more," she breathed, lifting her head up and attacking Tara's lips in one fluid move.

"I… love… you…" Willow affirmed between kisses, before plunging her tongue into her girl's mouth, kissing her deeply.

The blonde's hands gripped around Willow's waist more forcefully, making their hips stop their movement.

Ending their kiss, the hacker looked into her girl's eyes. "What's wrong, baby?"

"N-nothing, sweetie… I just…"

"What?" Willow asked, kissing her softly.

"Want more, too." Tara gave her a half grin.

"OH!" Willow smiled, rolling her hips forward again, teasing the other girl.

"Mmmm…" Tara moaned throatily. "Lift your hips for a minute."

The redhead did as she was requested and her lover moved her right hand down, sliding her palm under Willow's pussy. "You're so wet."

Settling back down, she stayed still for a moment before moving herself against Tara's hand, soaking her skin with her juices.

"Gods…" Willow moaned out in pleasure.

The gentle blonde inhaled sharply, the movement causing her own knuckles to rub against her clit. "Oh, wow…"

As Willow moved against Tara's fingers, they shared each others moans, the redhead moaning loudly when one of her girlfriend's fingers slipped past her outer lips, brushing over her opening before pushing upward, filling her to her knuckle.

"Ahhhh…" Willow cried out, her hips stilling, her hands resting over Tara's breasts.

Tara stilled, suddenly afraid that she had hurt the other girl. "A-are you okay? Did I hurt you?" She asked terrified, trying to move her hand away.

Willow's hand gripped the blonde's wrist, holding her still. "No! Just, give me a minute. I…I haven't, um…" she blushed, embarrassed.

"You haven't…" Tara left the sentence open ended, realizing why Willow stopped.

"No… I-I mean, I have, but…not like that." She looked anywhere, but into those soulful eyes.

"Sweetie, look at me," the blonde asked, softly. Once their eyes reconnected, she admitted, "I understand."

Willow smiled, but looked somewhat shocked as well. "You do?"

"Yes, it's okay. Take as much time as you need. I don't want to hurt you."

Holding Tara's eyes, her hand let go of her wrist and came back up to rest over the neglected breast. Slowly, she let her hips start to move, adjusting herself to being filled again.

"That feels good. You feel good inside me."

"You're so wet and warm." Tara moved her finger a little bit, stroking Willow's inner walls.

"Mmmm," she moaned, leaning down and kissing Tara. Looking deeply into her eyes, "More."

"A-are you sure?" the blonde searched her eyes for any uncertainty.

Lifting her hips up, the hacker whispered, "Yes."

Tara nodded and as Willow lowered her hips again, her middle finger and index finger were enveloped around warm flesh.

"Oh Gods," Willow breathed, leaning down to kiss Tara again.

Neither woman was sure who initiated the movement, but their hips were now moving slowly against one another again.

Breaking the kiss, the redhead moved so her left hand now rested on the bed beside Tara, her other hand stroking down her girlfriend's arm and coming to rest over her bicep. She let her hips slowly start to raise and fall over Tara's fingers, her head tipping back with pleasure.

"Uhhh, that's feels so good."

When Willow started to pick up the pace again, the blonde's eyes rolled back as her knuckles started to brush against her clit again. "Willow," she breathed, her breaths whimpering with the air around her.

"I love you," the girl answered back, removing her hand from the bicep it was holding hostage and bringing it down to the bed on the other side of Tara, lowering her head down, her lips immediately finding her lovers.

Their lips brushed together languidly, opposite from the movement of the rest of their bodies.

Willow moaned into Tara's mouth when she curled her fingers inside of her, brushing up against her g-spot. "Goddess," she said into her partner's mouth.

Tara's left hand lifted and smoothed up and down the redhead's back, caressing her flesh with passion. When their hips started to move faster, she pulled out of the kiss breathlessly. "Willow… I'm…"

"Don't stop," the redhead pleaded, her breathing verging on erratic. She pumped herself on Tara's fingers, stroking her g-spot over and over again.

"Fuck…" she moaned with pleasure. " I'm close." Arching her back, the blonde tipped her head back onto the bed as her chest slid against her lover's.

"Me too," Willow groaned, her hips rolling faster. She latched her lips onto Tara's left nipple, sucking it hungrily into her mouth, bathing it with her tongue.

Tara moved her thumb and brushed it against Willow's clit, applying enough pressure to make the other girl abandon her nipple and cry out.

"Ahhhh… Tara, I'm… I'm…" she couldn't say anymore, her hips stilling as she bathed her lover's hand with her juices.

Seconds later, Tara cried out, arching her back again. As she slowly came down from her high, she stroked her free hand lovingly over the redhead's back, calming her.

Moving her hips back, Willow extricated herself from the other woman's fingers and let her upper body gently fall forward, lying fully on top of her lover.

Tara pulled her right hand out from underneath Willow's body and lifted it up to join her other on the girl's back, hugging her close.

As they breathed together, their breaths beginning to fall in sync, the hacker buried her face in her girlfriend's neck, content in just resting there.

The blonde opened her eyes and whispered; her voice filled with emotion. "I... I love you, Willow."

Willow lifted her head, looking down into blue eyes. "I love you, too." Her strength coming back, she rested her elbows on the bed beside the blonde and leaned down, gently kissing the full lips she loved so much.

The kiss was slow and sensuous, expressing every emotion that they couldn't physically say. When Willow did finally pull away, she was silent for a moment, just looking into Tara's eyes.

Tara could sense that she was concentrating, trying to figure something out. When she spoke, her words were gentle. "What is it, sweetie?"

Willow smiled, her girl knew her so well. "What was his name?"

The blonde's brow crinkled. That wasn't what she was expecting. "Who?"

"The man that saved you. What was his name?" Willow shifted her weight to her left arm, her right hand coming up to trace over the scar on Tara's neck again.

"Oh… A-Angel," she waited for a reaction.

The redhead looked at her in surprise. "Angel?" she almost squeaked.

Tara just nodded her head slowly.

Willow was silent for a brief moment, before, "I love you."

"I love you, too."

Lowering her head to her neck again, the smaller woman snuggled into Tara's embrace, mentally making the note to call Angel and thank him for all he has done for her girl.

The room was silent. The only sounds came from the sleeping woman, who was lying on her back. Her hair was fanned out over the pillow under her head. Her right arm was resting over her stomach, while her left was raised up over her head, the elbow bent so her forearm rested on top of her hair.

There were soft murmurs escaping from her lips, her breathing was even, indicating her slumber.

The woman lying beside her however, was far from resting peacefully. In fact, she hadn't slept at all that night. Her mind was occupied with questions and emotions.

Willow was resting on her right side, looking at Tara, observing her sleep, as she thought about the night before. She smiled at the visions of their lovemaking.

Although, thinking about the night before also made the redhead feel incredibly ashamed. Not ashamed for what they had done or the night in and of itself, but more for the following morning and what she had done that day.

She couldn't believe her behavior and the things she had said and done to Tara. She had almost messed things up completely, her pride getting the best of her. Her behavior had been forgiven, but it was something she would never forget. In fact, it was high on her list of things that she needed to ask her own self, forgiveness for.

Learning that the only reason Tara had come back to Sunnydale was because of a job opportunity, didn't help matters either. The blonde had told her that she didn't even want to come back and if it hadn't been for Angel's encouraging her to do so, to just throw caution to the wind and just do it, that she wouldn't have returned. She would still be in LA, miserable, thinking about the woman she loved back in Sunnydale and whom she thought didn't love her anymore. How wrong that assumption was.

Tears started slithering down Willow's cheeks as everything flashed in her mind at once and when the woman beside her breathed in deeply, she couldn't hold her emotions in any longer. She started to weep, her tears flowing unchecked, as she moved in one quick motion and gathered her lover in her arms.

Tara was startled awake at the sudden movement and pressure on her chest. Looking down, she found Willow's left arm gripping around her stomach and her partner's face buried in her chest. She could feel the moisture on her skin as well.

"Willow, what's wrong? Are you okay?" She pulled her left arm down from behind her head and wrapped it around the other's girls back as she waited for her to respond.

The only response Willow gave her though, was to scramble closer to her as she buried her face in the blonde's neck, soaking it with her tears.

Squeezing her more tightly, Tara pleaded with her for an answer. "Sweetie, please! What's wrong?"

Willow didn't move, instead she spoke from the other girl's neck, her voice somewhat muffled. "Me."

The blonde frowned, the fingers of her left hand sifting through red hair. "What's wrong with you?"

"I'm an idiot and I don't deserve you." She shook her head against warm skin.

"Willow, will you look at me?" Tara's voice was calm, but it had a worried twinge to it.

Wiping her eyes on Tara's neck, the redhead whimpered as she pulled her face back and looked into her lover's eyes.

"There you are." Lifting her hands up, her palms cupped around Willow's cheeks and her thumbs wiped away her tears. "Why do you think you're an idiot?" she asked gently, trying to soothe away whatever was bothering her girlfriend.

Squeezing her eyes shut for a brief second, Willow opened them back up and when she spoke again, her voice was barely audible. "I am. I… earlier… the things I said to you and did, I…"

"Shhh," Tara interrupted her and tried to calm her. Leaning forward, she kissed her forehead. Looking back into her eyes, she spoke again. "I thought we already talked about this?"

Nodding slowly, the hacker agreed. "We did, but… I… I'm so sorry, Tara. So sorry." Her tears started to fall again and her head started to dip down, but almost immediately she felt her face being lifted back up.

"I know you are and I forgive you, but…" her voice trailed off and Tara smiled softly.

"But what?" Willow questioned, not understanding the smile. The arm around Tara's waist unlatched and her hand smoothed upwards, coming to rest over the other woman's heart.

"But… it's going to take more than that for you to push me away. I love you." Tara kissed her gingerly, lingering for a moment before pulling away.

"I don't want to push you away, baby." Willow's voice was sad, but direct. She leaned into the touch from the hands on her face, closing her eyes.

Smiling, the blonde's thumbs wiped away the last remaining tears on her girlfriend's face. "Lie down with me. You're exhausted, sweetie."

Opening her eyes, Willow nodded. When the hands left her face and Tara opened her arms, she went into them gladly, resting her head on her girl's shoulder. She closed her eyes and listened to the blonde's breathing.

"I love you, Willow," Tara whispered, her voice full of emotion.

Lifting her head one more time, the redhead met her lover's eyes. "I love you, too." Leaning down, she kissed her softly before laying her head back down on Tara's shoulder.

"Don't leave me," her voice was vulnerable.

"I'm not going to leave you," the blonde reassured her, running her hand soothingly over her back. "I promise."

"Never?" Willow's voice whispered, her exhaustion finally taking over her body.

"Never," Tara agreed. She listened in the silence for a few minutes as Willow's breathing evened out, indicating she had fallen asleep and shortly after, she too succumbed to its calling.