Consequences by Jen D

Summary: Willow's in trouble and determined to face the consequences alone.

"Good morning Will. Missed you this weekend. I tried to call but no one was home."

"Yeah sorry about that, I had so much homework to do that I kinda just turned off everything. Did I miss anything?" Willow asked worriedly.

"Nah, just the normal Hellmouth things but you did miss out on a fun night at the Bronze. How about we make up for it tonight?"

"I wish that I could but I really have something I need to do. Maybe tomorrow," she said.

Buffy looked at her best friend and saw how tired she looked, and that she almost looked green. " You feeling okay, Hon? You look a little green around the gills." Buffy watched as she packed up her books.

"Hey Willow, where you..." he started but she was out of the room before he could finish, "headed?" Buffy and Xander stared at the swinging door and then faced each other.

"Yeah, she ran out of class the other day and when she came back in she looked so tiny and flushed."

"No, but then again I haven't spent more then hour with her since I got back from vacation."

"Yeah. I mean she was sad that you were at your Dad's but she was okay. We spent a lot of time together."

"Maybe she is still upset about how I was when I came back. I mean I was a real bitch to everyone and even got her kidnapped."

"But that doesn't explain why she is being so distant to me," Xander said and looked at the door that Willow had just flown out of.

"I don't know but she said that she would go out tomorrow maybe we can get her to talk to us then," Buffy said and joined her friend in staring at the door.

Willow flew into the closest bathroom and lost her breakfast in the nearest toilet. Shestood at the sink and splashed some cold water on her face. She looked in the mirror and sighed at the reflection. She could see the black circle under my eyes.

Buffy's right I do look a little green, she thought. She signed once more. I can do this. I got myself into this I have to be the one to deal with it.

She grabbed her bag and headed out the door. Willow walked down the hallway lost in her own world. She thought back and wondered were things had spun so out of control. She made her way into my computer class and sat down, switching on a computer and waiting for it to open.

All I want to do was find somewhere to curl up and sleep for days, she thought. I hate what my body is doing to me. I hate being tired all the time and lord knows having to spend more time in the bathroom them out of it in the morning. I hate not being able to tell my friends why I was never home or at least the home they thought I was supposed to be at. I'm so afraid of telling them. I hate being afraid.

She wiped the tears that had appeared out of her eyes before anyone had a reason to ask about them. Yeah all I wanted was to go back and be the same Willow that I had been two months ago before Xander had left to spend a week with his uncle. I knew that I would never be able to go back to that place, that Willow disappeared the minute I got bored, went to the Bronze, and got drunk. I can't even blame it on anything other then my own stupidity. I was lonely, he was there and here I am.

Willow saw Buffy sitting at a table in the lunchroom and waved her over, "Hey Will, joining me today?"

"No. I have to go meet Jenny in the computer lab, she says she needs to talk to me for a minute."

"I don't know really she didn't say a whole lot about it. I'll call you tonight if it's anything you need to know."

"Actually I'm leaving after lunch, can you copy down the assignment for me?" Willow asked Buffy knowing that she was going to skip out.

"Yeah. I just wanted to grab a nap before I had to go to…" Willow caught herself before telling Buffy where she had to be tonight. "We still on for tomorrow night, right?"

"Yup, wouldn't want to be anywhere else. Are you okay?" she asked again with such a look of concern Willow wanted to just crawl up in her arms and let her make it all better but she couldn't.

Willow left her sitting there with a confused look on her face and headed for the computer room.

"I'm worried about you. I have spoken to most of your teachers and have heard the same things. Missed classes, work not turned in, running out in the middle of classes, what's going on, Willow? You're failing history and with all of the missed classes you are very close to failing math. This is not like you."

"Jenny, thank you for your concern. I will try to bring everything up but I have some stuff going on right now."

"Yeah thanks, I'll remember that. I have to go. Thanks again, Jenny," Willow told her and left the room.

The gang was sitting around the table after school when Jenny stormed into the room.

"Rupert, I understand that the world sometimes depends on the things that these kids do on a daily basis but when one of the best students in this school is on the brink of failing most of her classes, less then a month into school, I have to put a stop to it," she told the older man.

"I know that I haven't been applying myself in your class but the best...," Xander teased.

"Yes, I had a meeting this morning with most of her teachers and it seems the only classes she is going to on a regular basis is the ones that she shares with the two of you. She misses her first two classes almost daily."

"Jenny I assure you that I would never come between her and her studies. Buffy, maybe you shouldn't let her patrol with you for a while," Giles told them.

"Um Giles, she hasn't been on patrol since I got back from my dad's," Buffy said.

"No. As a matter of fact she hasn't been around much at all. I tried to call her this weekend and she said that she had been studying all weekend."

"She lied to me. Xander…Will lied to me," Buffy said in disbelief, "She has never lied to me."

"Talk to her, maybe she will open up. If she doesn't then you wait and hopefully she will come to you when she is ready."

Willow walked into her new place and looked around. It was small but she guessed it could be worse. She flopped down on the couch and opened the letter even though she knew what was in it. If she lived to be a hundred years old she didn't think she would ever understand her parent's reaction to all of it. She closed her eyes and thought back to the night that she had told them. Willow guessed her subconscious was hoping that they would find compassion and that for once in their lives they would be there for her. Boy was I wrong, she thought looking at the papers declaring her an adult in her hands, sitting on the couch of her tiny little apartment, alone.

Willow was finishing her shift up, when the familiar face walked through the door. Willow watched as her best friend's mother sat down at the table near the door. She sighed and removed her apron. She knew there was no way she was going to get out the door without Buffy's mom seeing her, she really just wanted to go home and crawl in bed. Willow threw her bag over her shoulder and walked up to her table.

Joyce looked up surprised to see her, "I could ask you the same thing. How are you Willow?" Joyce motioned for her to sit and studied the redhead. Buffy had come after school very upset and worried about Willow. After hearing things for herself, she had to admit she was a little concerned. Her daughter's best friend had become a part of her family and she felt responsible for her.

"Buffy says that you are being distant and Jenny came in today and ripped them because apparently you are missing a lot classes and are on the verge of flunking."

"Well, school won't be a problem shortly. I'm going to talk the councilor tomorrow about taking the test for early graduation. With all the extra classes I've taken I should be able to test out. The only reason I haven't done it sooner was because of Xander and Buffy. As far as the distance, I have just had a lot on my mind lately. I have some things I really need to work out on my own. Mrs. Summers I really need a favor could you please not say anything to Buffy about seeing me here. I know she would just ask too many question that I'm not ready to answer yet. Hell I don't have the answer to even give her."

"Willow if you're in trouble I think you need to trust her and us to be here to help you. I have watched you this last year and I know that there's nothing you wouldn't do for Buffy. Why don't you give her the chance to do the same for you?"

"Because this is different. I can't explain it but there is no way I can tell her. I know at some point it will have to come up but not now. I know that you don't have a reason not to tell her but please."

"Okay for now I won't but know that I'm here for you," Joyce told her and laid her hand on Willow's.

"I hope Buffy knows how lucky she got with you. Thanks, I really think I just want to go home and crawl into bed."

"No, Buffy would never forgive me if I let you walk and something happened to you."

Willow shivered when the cool night air hit her and she waited for Joyce to open the door.

"Mrs. Summers, you need to turn here," Willow said in the car as Joyce was getting ready to pass her street.

"Not anymore," Willow whispered and looked out the window. They pulled up in front of the small apartment complex on the outskirts of town.

Willow let them into the small apartment and looked around. She flipped the light on in the kitchen and sat down her bag.

She started a pot of coffee and returned to the living room. "I started some coffee, please have a seat. I'm going to go change out of these clothes and I'll be back," Willow told her.

Willow returned later to find Joyce sitting at the table with two cups of coffee.

"So, do want to tell me why you're living here? Not that this isn't a lovely place but why are you here and not at home?"

"My parents and I had a falling out and they told me to find somewhere else to live. I know it's small but I think I can work with it for a while."

"What was the fight about," Joyce asked wondering what could have possibly been so bad that they kicked her out.

"I'd rather not say. I know that you are concerned and I appreciate that more then I could ever say but I'm just not ready to face that music."

"But maybe I can help you? You're way to young to be living on your own. I mean how did you even get this apartment?"

"Well I guess they felt a little guilty and paid for the year. They also signed the emancipation papers, so now I am officially an adult."

"Honey, it takes more then papers to make you an adult. I just don't understand what could have happened to make them do this. I want to understand, so that I can help you."

"Why didn't you come to me? You could have stayed with us. I would rather have had you with me then here alone. Is the job the reason you are missing so much school. Buffy says that you don't make it to your first two classes."

"I do work pretty late as you can see but mostly it's a long walk to school in the morning."

"I know and I'm sorry it had to be like this. I certainly didn't expect my life to end up like this. It could be worse I guess. I mean I have a roof over my head, a job and I won't have to drop out of school without graduating, and so I have it better then most kids put in this position. Mrs. Summer's can we not tell anyone about this just yet? I still have so much to work out; I just want to put my efforts in that and not having to explain things to Buffy and Xander. I'm really ok, I have everything I need right now," Willow said trying very hard not to break down into tears.

"I will under one condition you let me take you to school in the morning and you reconsider leaving school early."

"The ride would be good but I don't know about the leaving school part. I could get a couple quarters of college in before…well just...I'll think about it," Willow sighed.

"I guess that will have to do for now. You look tired. I'll be here in the morning to pick you up."

Buffy walked into the library to find her best friend sitting at the table looking through her book.

"Okay, well on that note, I'm going to get out of here before we say anything else we can't take back. I'll see you after school." Willow walked out as Xander was coming in.

"I think I blew it. I opened my mouth and words came out," Buffy sighed and put her head on the table.

"I doubt that, Willow forgives people easy. She's been a friend with me for too long to hold grudges. Buffy when are you going to tell her that you're in love with her?"

"Oh whatever, come on I have eyes. I see the way you look at her. How long have you known?" Xander laughed.

"She could never hate you Buffy, but you will never know unless you tell her," he said leaving her with her own thoughts.

Willow could hear the music coming through the doors of the club. She put her best smile on and walked in. She scanned the crowd and found her two best friends sitting at a table in the corner.

"Yes, you were but it's okay. We all do things we regret sometimes," Willow said, not seeing the guy come up behind her. Buffy saw the good-looking guy come up and stood up ready to protect her friends.

"Jason, why...? I mean, hey," Willow sputtered. Buffy could see her discomfort and was ready to toss this guy on his ass until she felt Xander kick her under the table.

"Willow, how are you? I've been coming here for the last two months hoping I would run into you. I was worried about you."

"It's okay. I know it didn't mean anything to you. It's not like I expected anything. We were drunk and made a mistake. I'm in love with someone else. I couldn't be with them and I guess I kind of lost myself for a minute," Willow said and looked at the table where her friends still sat.

"He's a lucky guy and I do understand. I guess I was trying to forget too. Is that him?"

Jason looked over at the table and started to laugh, "She's beautiful, does she know?"

"No. you're taking this well." Jason turned her and pointed out a dark haired guy off in the corner talking to a girl." He's the one I was trying to forget."

Willow looked into his eyes and started to laugh, "Well aren't we a pathetic pair? Jason, there's something I need to tell you but I don't think this is the best place to talk. Can we go someplace quieter?"

"Sure. Do you think your friends are going to let you go?" he asked glancing at Buffy giving him the evil glare.

Willow walked back to her friends and grabbed her coat, "Hey guys something came up and I really need to go. I promise the next time we can go out I'll stay all night if you want."

"He's just a friend I met when you guys were gone. I trust him, he's not a vamp," Willow sighed, something she felt like she was doing a lot of lately, "I'll see you tomorrow."

Willow picked out a quiet table in the back of the diner and sat down, "Jason, I know we don't really know each other very well and I don't expect you to care about this but I feel like you ought to know. I'm pregnant and it has to be yours," Willow said and waited for him to leave.

"Wow, of course I care. I always wanted to have kids. I just never thought that being gay, I would have the chance to. I mean the timing sucks for both of us, do you plan on keeping it?"

"Yeah, I think so, I mean yes. I've been working here since my parents kicked me out when they found out," Willow said.

"I have a little apartment not to far from here. I can graduate anytime I want, so school isn't really an issue. I figured I could get at least one quarter of college in before the baby was born. I can go back after then."

"Sounds like you have it figured out then, except for the part with me helping, if you'll let me."

"Do you really want to? I mean I don't want you to feel like I'm trying to trap you or anything."

Willow started to laugh, "Thank you, it feels like it's been forever since I've been able to laugh or smile and mean it."

"Willow, I thought I might find you here," the counselor said coming into the library, " I have those papers you need to take your test. Buffy, Xander, I really wish you could talk her out of it."

"Leaving school. I just think she would benefit from staying for two more years," the counselor said and left.

"I'm going to have to agree with Buff on this one Will. You haven't been around at all, much less talked to either of us. Have we done something to hurt you"?

"No, it's not you either of you. I just have some stuff going on and I really need to do this on my own."

"Willow, we're your best friends there's nothing in the world that you can't tell us," Buffy told her, putting her arm around the red head.

Before Willow could answer the door to the library opened and Cordelia walked in followed by Jason. He took one look at Willow tear stained face and stepped between her and Xander.

"Willow, I found this incredible hunk of a man wondering around looking for you. God only knows why," Cordy said.

"No I was just wondering if your parents had considered having you declawed," Jason asked and then laughed at his own joke. He saw the smile creep across Willow face as she watched Cordy leave in a huff.

"Not that I'm not really glad to see you but what are you doing here?" Willow said as he pulled her into a hug.

"I brought some lunch. I thought maybe we could head outside and have a picnic. It's a beautiful day outside. A lovely day for a lovely girl," he said and watched as the blush crossed her face.

Jason found the perfect spot under a tree and spread the blanket out. He pulled out the bowls from the basket and laid them out in front of them.

"Lets see I have some wonderful smelling grilled chicken, some green beans, um lets see strawberries, carrots, we wouldn't want this kid to have bad eyesight now would we?"

Willow giggled and sat down beside him, "Like I said not that I'm not glad to see you but why are you here, well besides lunch, which by the way smells good. Did you cook it?"

"Every bite, except for the strawberries and I got those at this little farm market downtown. I just wanted to make sure you had something healthy to eat and I admit to wanting to get to know you better. You are going to be the mother of my child. I guess I ought to know something about you. What was with the tension back there?"

"They found out about me leaving school and lets just say they were a little displeased."

"I'm glad you didn't, he would never hurt me and I think Buffy would have beat you to it. They'll get over it."

"I think you should stay in school, too. I know we can work things out if you want to."

"Yeah really, you still haven't grasped the concept of me helping you with this have you."

"No I guess that I haven't, I just thought that I would be on my own. I never in a million years saw you and I doing it together," Willow said and shyly turned her head.

"Hey now, we will have no shyness around each other. I think we have seen to much of each other for that," Jason laughed. Willow blushed even harder when she thought back to their night of lovemaking,

"Surprisingly yes, I mean I've known for a long time I was gay, I'd never even been with a women until you. I had been questioning my sexuality a lot until my night with you. I realized that as nice as it was it wasn't for me."

"No stupid," Jason said and playfully slapped her arm. "Oh by the way, my parents are coming in this weekend and they would like to meet you."

"Well yeah, I couldn't keep something like this from them. Will, they're ecstatic. They never thought that they would have grandchildren. We'll be lucky if this kids not spoiled rotten."

"Easier for you to say you don't have to live through meet the parents," Willow laughed.

"But I'm so much better when I don't," Jason said cocking his eyebrows. Willow chuckled and rolled her eyes.

"Hey Buffy, how was school today?" Joyce Summers asked her daughter as she walked into the kitchen.

"I would love to tell you that it did but it doesn't. It will get a little easier. Honey, what wrong?"

"Buffy, I don't think Willow is going to walk out of your life. I'm sure she has a good reason for what she's doing," Joyce told her and pulled her into a hug.

Buffy lost control of the emotions that were swirling in her mind. "Mom I love her so much!" Buffy cried.

"No, I don't think you understand me. I'm in love with her and there's nothing I can do about it. She'd hate me. Now she has this new guy bringing her lunch and hugging her."

"I see it in the way you look at her. I'm really surprised she hasn't seen it herself."

"Well the way I see it you can leave things as they are and maybe miss your chance or you can tell her how you feel."

"Maybe, god this is all to confusing," Buffy said and pounded her head into the table.

Joyce groaned and looked at the clock. She picked up the ringing phone. "Hello?"

"This Sharon Smith, I'm a nurse over at the Sunnydale hospital emergency room. We have you listed as the contact for Willow Rosenberg."

"She was involved in a car accident tonight. I'm not sure about her condition but I think you might want to be here."

Buffy and her mom flew through the door to the emergency room. Giles and Xander were right behind them.

Buffy looked at the man standing in front of her, he had a bruise on his cheek and a small cut above his eye.

"I was giving her a ride home and this car came out of no where. I tried to miss it but I didn't have enough time."

"She was awake, I think she'll be okay. She had a nasty cut on her forehead. The doctor should be out in a minute. I wasn't sure how to get a hold of you. I'm glad the hospital did."

"The baby's fine. I think she ought to get some rest for the next few days. She told me she lived alone, so I want someone to stay with her for the next couple of days. She needs to make an appointment to see her ob tomorrow. They're doing her paperwork now so she should be ready to go in a few minutes," the doctor told them then headed back through the doors.

"What the hell did you do to my best friend?" Buffy yelled slamming Jason into the wall.

"I don't care what you were planning. I'm in love with her, it was my job to protect her," Buffy growled.

"Buffy Anne Summers, you put him down right this minute! I think you know enough about sex ed to know that it takes to two to get in this position," Willow yelled.

"Stop…I don't think this is the place to have this conversation. Mrs. Summers, the doctor doesn't want me to be by myself, could I crash at your house for a couple of days?"

Jenny was sitting on the Summers' front porch when the cars carrying the Scooby gang pulled into the driveway.

The gang filed into the living room and found seats. Jason pulled Willow to the side, "You okay?"

"I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere. Remember we're in this together. Did you hear her, Will? She loves you."

"Oh would you just get over it. I may not have love but I sure as hell know what it looks like and honey she is head over heels in love with you. This may be your best shot don't fuck it up. That's my job. Hey one quick question before these guys burn a hole through us, is that Xander guy gay?"

"No," Jason grinned. Willow could no longer keep her laughter under control. After what seemed like an eternity to the gang she finally collapsed into a chair.

"Um I don't think so but then again who the hell knows after the way things have gone the last few months," Willow said as Jason sat down on the arm of the chair.

"How?" Xander asked then realizing what he said, blushed. Willow cocked her eyebrows at her best friend.

"Okay, long story short, I had a very un-Willow like night. Xander you were gone and Buffy was at her dads. My parents where gone as usual and I guess I just had a wild streak come over me. It was going to be one drink, well it was good and one lead to two and then I don't know maybe five or six more. Things are a little fuzzy after that but somehow I ended up at the Bronze."

"Um, yeah kind of but we're losing focus here. I met Jason there and we hit it off or as well as two very drunk people could. We have found out since then that we were both running from some things. I can't say that the timing is very good but we're dealing with things. It turns out he's a pretty nice guy sober too," Willow said and yawned.

"Up until a few days ago, yes. I know I should've told you but I was so confused about things, I wanted to have answers to your question and I didn't have them."

"No, Jason and I think we can work something out. I can go to school in the day and he can take his classes at night. I should be able to get by on only going a couple of hours a day and working in the afternoon. I got a job and I really kind of like it. I mean I don't want to do it for the rest of my life but it's different. I'm cooking at a diner not to far from my house."

"Yeah, I wish that you could have let us be there for you but we're good. I love you Will. Nothing could ever change that," Xander said and gave her a hug.

"Talk to her, she needs you and I think you need her too. She loves you but she's really afraid if she tells you, you'll hate her."

"Well it's been fun and it has been a pleasure to meet you all but I think I'm going to head out now. Can I give anyone a ride? Xander you seem to be the only one without a car or living here," Jason asked.

"What," Xander said confused, "Sure that's cool. I bet your glad your car's not totaled."

"Yeah, even though it might have been fun to have a rental for a while," Jason said thoughtfully and then hugged Willow, "Don't forget that we're having lunch with my parents on Sunday." Willow groaned and rolled her eyes.

"Don't roll your eyes at me young lady. They're going to love you. How could they not?"

"Drive careful keep your eyes on the road," Willow waved one last time and then turned to the remaining group, "Buffy could I speak to you in the kitchen, alone?" Buffy looked at her mother, who gave her s reassuring smile.

"Will," Buffy said nervously looking around the kitchen. She wasn't sure if Willow had heard her outburst in the waiting room or not but she had a feeling that she was about to find out. Willow came to stand in front of Buffy.

"I need to hear it. I need to know what your feeling. I need it more than I have ever needed anything in my life."

"I love you, Willow. I think I fell for you the first time I saw you standing at that water fountain. I wanted to smack Cordelia in the face when I saw how much she hurt you. I wish that I could have been able to tell you sooner. I know that you must hate me. I know you could never feel the same way about me. Do you love him?"

"Jason, yeah I think I do. He's a great guy, I don't think I would be able to do this without him," Willow said.

"I'm really happy for you, Will. I hope you guys have a great life. He does seem like he is going to stick around. I'm sorry it couldn't work with us," Buffy said and turned to leave before Willow could see the tears that were threatening to spill from her eyes.

"Buffy," Willow said putting her hand on her shoulder stopping her from leaving, "I love you too. I was so afraid of my feelings for so long. Jason's a nice a guy and all but he's not who I'm in love with. I made a mistake by sleeping with him but I needed to escape all the things I was feeling for you. I want to be with you, if you still want me."

"I know that starting a relationship could be difficult but I think when it comes to you and I it would be worth it. I love you and I want to share this with you. I want to be there to watch this kid grow up and bring grandkids home. I want to be beside you all the way."

"I think that's the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me. Buffy Summers will you be my girlfriend?"

"I'd love too, now come on you've had a long day and the doctor said you needed to get plenty of rest. We wouldn't want a grumpy pregnant woman," Buffy said and patted Willow stomach.

"Guys we're going to head to bed now," Buffy said as they came back into the living room. Joyce saw the happiness in her daughter's face and the way that Buffy was holding tightly to Willow hand, "Buffy, Willow please sit down for a minute. Buffy is there something you want to tell me."

"Willow and I have decided to be girlfriends," Buffy said and gave her mom a big smile.

"Willow, I know how Buffy feels about you but how to you feel about her?" Joyce asked coming to sit in front of the two girls. Joyce took Willow hand into hers and gave it a light squeeze.

"I love her with all my heart. I would never in a million years ever hurt her. I promise that I will protect her with my life if it ever comes to it. I know that this couldn't be easy for you. I just want to make her happy."

"That's what I wanted to hear. Will you move in here with us? I would feel much better if you were here, so that we could keep an eye on you. I was thinking we could turn the guest bedroom into a nursery."

There were only three bedrooms in the house and Buffy and her mom had two of them. Joyce looked from the red head to her daughter.

"I figured it would be easier then trying to keep you separated. You are legally an adult now and I can see in Buffy eyes how much love there is for you, I don't think I could keep you apart anyway."

"I don't know what to say, mom. Thank you for respecting me and treating me like an adult. I love you."

"Well I see how mature you have become and I know how fast you had to grow up. Besides you are going to be raising my grandchild," Joyce said and hugged her daughter.

"Will, what do you think. I mean this is your decision. I don't want you to feel like your being pressured into anything," Buffy said turning to her girlfriend.

"Mrs. Summers, my own parents didn't even try to understand, they just held the door open the day I left," Willow said as the pain of her parent's rejection finally hit her.

Joyce pulled the girl into her arms and rocked her gently, "Willow they were fools. Their lose is my gain. I get to see the woman that you will become and see the wonderful life that your about to bring into this world, they don't. I will always be here for you. We all will," Joyce said pointing to the other adults sitting in the room.

Buffy groaned and looked at the clock beside the bed, she had awakened when her red headed girlfriend had smacked her in the nose.

She could make out her features of her sleeping lover from the moonlight coming in the window. Six months into her pregnancy it was getting harder for Willow to get comfortable at night. She would often toss and turn the bigger part of the night. Buffy sighed when the red head finally got settled.

Buffy slid down the bed a little until her eyes where level with the growing belly of her girlfriend. "So kid, I read in one of your mom's book about how I should talk to you, something about you being able to hear me. I have some doubts but it looks like I'm not going to get anymore sleep tonight anyway. I'm not trying to blame you or anything but you're making it kinda hard for your mom to sleep."

Buffy laid her hand on Willow stomach and smiled when she was rewarded with a kick. She thought to the first time she and Will had been lying in the bed talking about all the hopes and dreams that they had for the baby that was slowing growing inside her. Willow had gasped and then brought Buffy hand to her stomach. Buffy had gotten so excited that she had ran into her mother's room and dragged her back and placed her hand in the same spot she had just left. Joyce had taken one look at her daughter standing there with a grin and had to sit down she was laughing so hard.

"So we have your name picked out and I think we did pretty good. So if you are a boy you are going to be Michael Alexander, after your grandfather and Xander. If you are a girl you're going to be Joyce Renee, after your two grandmothers. I think my mom was going to cry us a river when your mom told her. You would not believe how much both of your grandmas are just fussing about. They spent all day last Saturday picking out the colors and the furniture for your bedroom. I had to rub Will's feet for two hours after they had finally brought her home.

"You are going to be one spoiled kid. I know things are going to be hard on you, I mean your parents are gay, your mom is so young and your dad's not a lot older and finally but the most important fact you live on the mouth of hell. I wish that were a metaphor for living in a bad place but you really live on the mouth of hell. I just want you to that you have a lot of people who love you and will make sure that you have everything that you need.

"Plus your…other mom, that would be me, that is if you'll let me be just happens to be a really kick ass vampire slayer and will die to protect you. I never really liked being the slayer but it finally came to me the day I sat with your parents and watched as you appeared on the screen in the doctor's office for the first time. I knew then and there that my calling finally had a meaning, if nothing more then to protect you and your mom. I remember the look on Will's face when she saw your tiny heart beating and your dad, well it took days before the grin left his face.

"I'm really proud of them, they have taken something that could have been bad and made it into the miracle it should be. I want you to know that I love your mom so much, I never in a million years thought that I would be lying here tonight. She just wants to be a better mother then her own was and I know she will be. Your mom is the most caring person I have ever met. Okay kid, I guess maybe I am a little tired, I think I'm going to stay right here though so if you need me just give me a little nudge," Buffy whispered, cuddled up with Willow and fell asleep.

Buffy silenced the alarm clock and rolled back to wake her sleeping girlfriend, "Willow honey it's time to get up."

"Good morning. I think I might just stay in bed today. I don't feel very good," Willow told her and pulled the blanket a little higher.

Buffy felt her girlfriend's forehead and sighed when she realized she didn't feel warm.

"No, I'll be okay. I just feel really tired and kind of sick to my stomach. Will you bring my work home though?"

"Sure, do want some toast?" Buffy asked her as she dressed and found her book bag.

Buffy walked into the kitchen and found her mother reading the paper having coffee, "Morning mom, sleep well?"

"You're kidding right, I don't think I will ever be able to sleep again. I figure after the baby is finally born there will be feedings and then terrible twos and I don't even want to get into it being a teenager."

Joyce laughed and nodded her head, she had to admit that her daughter had a point, "Where's Willow?"

"She isn't feeling well and is going to stay home today and rest. I'm going to take her some toast and head to school."

"I already tried that but she said she was just going to sleep. I figure I'll call her at lunch and check on her."

"Okay, well call me if you need anything," Joyce said heading for the door. Buffy finished the toast and took it upstairs. Willow was asleep and Buffy laid it on the table beside her. She kissed her on the forehead and left for school.

Buffy walked into the library at lunch, finding all her friends sitting around the table. She waved hello and then headed for the phone.

She stared at it for a minute, her need to make sure Willow was okay warring with the knowledge that she could disturb the red head. She picked it up and risked waking Willow. Buffy hadn't been able to shake the feeling that she should have stayed home. She listened as the phone rang and rang. She hung up and tried again with the same results. She turned to her waiting friends, panic welling up in her chest.

"Jenny can you give me a ride home? Willow won't answer the phone and I'm really kind of worried. Giles will you call my mom and have her meet me at the house. Tell her not to panic cause I don't know anything but I just have a feeling I'm going to need her."

Jenny and Buffy pulled into the driveway just as Joyce was getting out of the jeep. Buffy ran up the front porch and into the house followed closely by Joyce and Jenny.

"Will?" Buffy yelled running for the kitchen. Joyce headed up the steps. She walked into the room that Willow shared with her daughter finding it empty she knocked on the door to the bathroom, "Willow," she called. She didn't hear anything and pushed the door open slowly.

"Buffy," Joyce yelled and rushed to the red head lying on the floor. Buffy and Jenny came running up the stairs and into the bathroom.

"BUFFY NOW," Joyce yelled at her. Buffy flew down the stairs her mind racing at the sight of her lover, her best friend lying on the floor, the blood pooled around her.

"Come on, come on," Buffy yelled as though she was willing them to answer. After giving the operator the information she needed she hung up and called Jason. She gave him a brief run down and told him to meet them at the hospital.

Buffy flew back upstairs and sat down beside Willow, "Hey honey, it's me, hang on the ambulance is on the way and I called Jason to meet us at the hospital but you need to open your eyes for me."

"I don't know, I was feeling sick and crampy. I came in her because I thought I was going to be sick. I got really dizzy and I must passed out."

"It's okay," Buffy said as she saw the panic fill the red head face. "I'm here now."

Buffy and Jason tried to follow the bed that held Willow through the doors of the maternity ward but were stopped by Willow's doctor.

"Jason, Buffy I know that you both love her and want to be here for her but I need you to stay out here. I have to tell you that at this point my main concern is to save Willow." The doctor hated to take away any since of hope for the child that he had no doubt would have been loved by this band of strange people but he also knew that the chance of him saving both mother and child would be impossible. He took one last look at the friends of the young girl who's life was about to change. He closed his eyes and said a silent payer that by some major miracle he could save them both.

"Doctor, we need to do something to help," Buffy said as her mother came up and took her hand.

"Mom," Buffy whispered and fell into her mother's arms. Jenny led the young father to a seat and tried to calm him. Buffy took one look at him and fell to her knees in front of him. She took his hand into hers and looked into his eyes, trying to give him some of the strength she possessed.

"I don't know. I wish that I did but I don't," Buffy said. Buffy looked around the room at the people she considered her family and saw the sadness and worry. Giles had shown up right after the ambulance with Xander and Cordelia.

"Mom, I should have stayed home today," Buffy said collapsing into the seat next to her mother.

"You couldn't have known. Willow told you to go. I know that you are hurting right now but Willow is going to need you to be strong for her. No matter what happens."

Buffy had been pacing for what seemed like hours almost growling every time the doors would open and it would be someone other then Willow's doctor coming out. Finally when she thought that she couldn't take one more person coming out with no information for her, the gray haired doctor came out. Buffy took one look at his grim face and slid down the wall.

"Will be fine, it was touch and go for a little bit but she will recover at least physically," the doctor said running his hand through his hair.

"It looks as though the placenta tore away from the uterine wall. There was no way for her or you to know."

"I think that she will need you, all of you. She always told me about how much her family meant to her. I know that her parents disowned her and that you all were the only people that she considered family. I have informed the nurses to allow you all to stay with her. I really am sorry. I know how much this child would have been loved," he said and started to walk away.

"She would have been beautiful." Buffy put her head into her hands and cried for the daughter she would never get to meet.

Buffy sat in the hard plastic chair next her sleeping lover's bed. She brushed a strand of hair out of her face and held tight to her hand. She had no idea how she was going to tell Willow that the child she had so many plans and dreams for was gone. She looked over to Jason who was sitting on the other side of the bed, eyes down. "Jason, I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say to her," Buffy started but the sleeping girl began to stir. Willow opened her eyes and tried to focus on where she was and why everyone was in her bedroom. Realization began to cross her face and she looked at Buffy and then Jason sitting beside her.

"Will honey, I'm sorry. They tried but there was nothing they could do. It was just something that happens. Nothing could have changed things," Buffy said wiping the tears from her face.

"No Will, it wasn't your fault. Nobody blames you, like Buffy said it happens," Jason said and squeezed her hand.

"Let it out, Will," Jason said taking Buffy free hand, "We'll get through this, honey. All of us."

Two days later the gang had assembled outside of the hospital. Jason and Buffy walked up to them and sat down at the picnic table.

"Yeah but I need you guys to do us a favor. Can you guys pack up the nursery for us? I don't want her to go home with all those reminders," Buffy told her friends.

"Of course," Giles said taking her hand. He was very proud of the strength and maturity that his slayer was showing.

"Joyce, my parents are going to meet us tonight to make arrangements. We need to plan some kind of memorial for the baby. I tried to talk to Willow but she just says whatever we decide," Jason said shaking his head.

"No, I'm not sure she has said ten words to either of us," Jason said the worry showing on his face.

"I hope so," Buffy said and headed back to the room that held the love of her life.

"How long do we give her Giles, before we admit we need to do something?" Buffy asked her watcher. Buffy was on the verge of tears. "Giles she hasn't gotten out of bed since we had the funeral. She didn't even want to go to that but I told her she would regret it someday. It's been almost a month. She won't even let me touch her. Giles, I'm scared."

"She won't let me," Buffy growled and then softened when she realized that it wasn't his fault, "I'm sorry. I know there's nothing you can do. I just haven't been getting a lot of sleep lately."

"Yeah, she was trying to pull so far away from me that I thought she was going to fall off the bed. I decided it would be easier for her if I wasn't around."

Buffy took a deep breath and knocked on the door, opening it a little, "Will?" Buffy sat down on the edge of the bed and tried to take her girlfriend's hand but Willow pulled away. Buffy took another deep breath trying to calm herself, "Willow, I know that you're hurting and I know that it's really hard but I need you to talk to me."

"I'm not going to give up on you. I'm going to sit here and wait until you talk to me. You can't go on like this. Your not eating, hell you're not doing anything. It's been a month now and I'm really worried about you."

"No, I've left you alone for the last month and we are no closer to getting you out of this bed then we were then," Buffy yelled and picked her up and carried her to the bathroom. Buffy stood her in the shower turning on the water.

"Willow, I want you to take a shower and then we're going to go pick out some clothes. Then we are going to go down and have dinner with everyone."

"You'd have to want to touch me before we could even think about that," Buffy yelled back and walked out of the room. Buffy walked down the steps trying to hold back the tears. Buffy paced the living room knowing she had crossed the line up there but she didn't have time to reflect very long before Willow came the stairs soaking wet.

"I hate you," Willow screamed not caring that all of the Scooby gang was sitting there.

"Well you know what, your going have to stand in line. I have the 'I hate-Buffy Summers' market monopolized at the moment. Do you know what I did the night before…the night before she died? I promised I would protect her. I told her I would die before I let anything happen to her or you. I failed, Will, she's dead and I'm losing you," Buffy screamed at her girlfriend. "Yup that's right, Will, your girlfriend is a big failure. So go ahead and hate me because I bet it isn't anymore then I hate myself for failing you."

Willow watched as Buffy fell to her knees in the middle of the room. She hadn't known how much Buffy was blaming herself for the things that Willow had spent the last month blaming her own self for.

Willow sat down on the floor in front of Buffy and put a tentative hand on her shoulder. "Buffy, I don't blame you. I never have. I blamed myself but I'm pretty sure there's nothing to blame ourselves for. It happened and I'm really sorry for shutting you out but you are not and never could be a failure. I love you; Buffy Summers and thank you for making me see how much I was hurting you. I never ever wanted to hurt you. I was just so lost in my own grief that I forgot that I wasn't alone that you and Jason were hurting as much as I am. I'm sorry," Willow said pulling Buffy against her.

Buffy watched as Willow got dressed and smiled. It had been two weeks since they had broken down in the middle of the living room and they were slowly trying to put their shattered lives back together.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?" Buffy asked really wanting to be there when Willow made her first trip to the cemetery but knowing that Willow and Jason needed to say their goodbyes on their own.

"No I think I'll be okay and I know you really don't want to have to sit in the doctors office with me."

"Okay but I'll be here when you get home," Buffy said, kissing her before she left. Buffy picked up the first ultrasound picture of the baby and went to sit in the window seat. She looked out into the sunny day and curled up with the picture, the tears running down her face, needing to say her own goodbyes.

Willow walked into the room to find Buffy asleep still sitting in the window seat. Willow approached the sleeping slayer and noticed the picture she still had clutched in her hand. Willow sat down across from her and took the picture out of her hand. Willow could see the streaks on Buffy cheeks from the tears she had shed earlier.

"Jason and I had lunch with his new boyfriend, he was a really nice guy. I can see them working out," Willow told her and started to kiss her neck.

"Well he said that I could have kids when or if I'm ready. Which is something I wanted to talk to you about. Jason talked about maybe in a few years after college we could maybe talk about having another baby."

"Oh yeah, I mean you want kids right? I want kids and you want kids and Jason wants kids, it couldn't be more perfect."

"How about I tell you this, whenever you decide it's time you just do it and tell me when you're pregnant?"

"Yup, I trust you to wait until we're ready. I kind of like the idea of it being a surprise."

"You know what else the doctor said was okay?" Willow said and began to unbutton her shirt.

"What the hell are standing around talking for," Buffy asked pulling Willow to the bed.

Buffy was putting the last of the dishes into the dishwasher when her girlfriend came through the door.

"Hey honey how was your day?" Buffy asked her grabbing a quick kiss before sitting down at the bar.

"Pretty good really. I still can't believe that I only have four more month until we graduate from college."

"Yeah but think of all the things we have done since then. You gained a sister and closed the Hellmouth all in one year."

"She went over to a friend's house after school. Mom has a dinner meeting so we have the whole house to ourselves all evening, what shall we do?" Buffy said with a mischievous grin.

"Talk sounds good…huh, talk. I kind of thought we could do something a little more exciting, not that talking isn't exciting but oh hell, I just keep digging the hole deeper," Buffy said noticing the bemused look on Willow face.

"What's there to talk about? You have that job working with Jason's dad's computer company and I'm going to take that job working as the gym teacher at the new middle school next year."

"Um yeah, I would say the future looks pretty bright considering that seven years ago I didn't plan on living much longer. What's this all about, Will?"

"Well remember when we talked about having another baby someday and you said that you trusted me to know when the right time was. Do you still believe that?" Willow asked hopeful.

"End of September, is this really okay?" Willow asked afraid that Buffy had changed her mind.

"Is it okay?" Buffy said and jumped up lifting her off her feet and spinning her around.

"Uh Buffy spinning a pregnant woman around for very long is not a good thing. You might get to see what I had for lunch up close and personal," Willow laughed.

"Oh sorry, kinda got carried away," Buffy said sheepishly, "Have you been to the doctor yet."

"Yup this afternoon and he said that things look good, that we shouldn't worry."

"Well I'm sure I will anyway. You know that if I could put you to bed and keep you there until September I would."

"I know but you can't so let's just enjoy this," Willow said and pulled her girlfriend into a hug.

"I think that could be arranged, why don't you call them? I'm going to grab a bath, maybe when you get done you can come join me."

"How could I turn down an offer like that," Buffy said grabbing the phone, "See you in a minute hon."

Xander and Cordelia where the first to show up, followed shortly later by Jenny and Giles with there twin boys. Jason and his boyfriend came right behind them. Joyce brought snacks and drinks in.

Dawn sat on the couch between Jenny and Willow talking about a computer project she was working on for school, while Buffy stood in the corner watching her odd family.

"Okay Buffy you have all of us here now so spill. What is it and how do we kill it?" Xander said then grinned, "I just wanted to say that again, we haven't had to kill anything in a long time."

"Well there are two things really. I have something to ask then Will has something she wants to say. Me first though," Buffy said and then moved to sit on the floor in front of Willow.

"Willow we've been together for a long time now and for the life of me I don't know what I was so afraid of. I know we had a rough time there for a little bit but since then I can't imagine wanting to spend my life anywhere else. I had this big long speech prepared, I even wrote it down but I reread it and decided that there are no words to describe the love that I have for you. Will, can we make it official, I mean I know that legally we can't make it official but I can stand in front of the people that we call our friends and family and do it.

"Willow will you spend the rest of my life with me?" Buffy asked and wiped the tears that had started to run down her cheek half way through her speech.

"I wouldn't be anywhere else," Willow said squeezing Buffy hand. The room erupted with congratulations and about times.

Xander whistled getting everyone attention, "I think Buffy said that Willow had something to tell us."

"Well I was wondering if you guys knew anybody who wanted to fill a few positions for me. Lets see I need grandparents and aunts, an uncle and oh I know I need a eccentric aunt too," Willow said grinning as the recognition set in.

The room erupted again. Buffy stepped away and stood off to the side smiling at her family. Joyce, Cordy and Jenny were already talking about how to decorate the nursery. Xander, Giles, Jason and his boyfriend Bill where slapping each other on the back talking about the crib that Xander wanted to make.

Buffy sought out Willow across the room and mouthed I love you. Willow face lit up and returned her sentiment and returned to her talk with the women about colors for the room. Yup the future looked pretty bright for the oldest living slayer.

Main What's New Fiction by Author Fiction by Pairing eBooks

Subject Index Submissions Gallery Forums Links Awards Contact Us

If you find problems on these pages please email your host.

Consequences

By Jen D

Jend1205@yahoo.com