Fallen by Frau Hunter Ash

Disclaimers: The characters and show all belong to Joss Whedon, Fox, Mutant Enemy, Kuzui, and God only knows who else. The storyline, however, is the sole property of the author. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices.

Summary: Buffy and the gang need to deal with the aftermath of Wrecked.

Buffy hesitated outside the bedroom door and listened for a moment. "Don't Fear the Reaper?" she asked softly. "Willow usually isn't that retro."

The Slayer really began to frown when the track switched to Papa Roach's "Last Resort." Buffy felt frozen to the spot as she listened, hearing the lyrics really for the first time.

Buffy knocked on the door with a worried look on her face. After a moment she looked surprised and knocked again. She knew Willow was in her room, the young witch hadn't moved since they had gotten back from the hospital with Dawn.

Buffy Summers, the Slayer, pounded on the door and tried the knob when Willow still refused to answer her. Surprisingly, it was open.

The blonde walked into the room as cautiously as she would enter an unknown darkened tomb, something didn't feel right. Besides the fact that Amy was no longer a rat, playing in her cage on her wheel, that is.

A single lamp was the only illumination in the room and that was covered by a dark blue scarf, casting an eerie glow in a small circle in the room. Buffy could make out that Willow was on her side on the bed, her back to the door and she wasn't moving.

"Wills?" Buffy called softly. She didn't think Willow was asleep, she had been pounding pretty hard on the door, but then again, the witch had been through something traumatic.

Buffy, instead of leaving, moved further into the room and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Wills, can we talk?" Buffy asked softly, resisting reaching out for Willow's shoulder. Only hours earlier she had been about to hit her friend, probably more than once but now everyone had calmed down and it was time for answers and decisions.

"No," Willow muttered, surprising Buffy. Willow had never refused to talk to her before.

"Willow, we need to talk, I need to talk," Buffy said slowly, a bit of irritation creeping into her voice. Willow had endangered her sister, damnit! Last thing she was going to do was feel sorry for Willow.

"No," Willow muttered again. "No need to talk. Give me a couple of days and I'll move out. I'll transfer to another school next semester. You can even have Tara move in to help keep an eye on Dawn."

Buffy frowned, torn between the feeling of panic at the thought of Willow leaving all of them and irritation at Willow feeling sorry for herself.

"You don't have to leave, Wills," Buffy protested. "We just need to get a handle on this magick thing. You know that you're out of control. You almost got Dawn killed tonight."

"Yeah, I know and I'm sorry," Willow nodded, her hair and head moving slightly but she still refused to turn over and look at Buffy. The Slayer was getting more irritated. "It won't happen again, I won't go around Dawn. No more magick, no more black stuff and no more me."

"Good, neither am I," Willow said calmly, again surprising the Slayer. "I'm not feeling sorry for myself, Buffy. I knew this would happen, I prayed it wouldn't and that I could control it. I was an idiot and now I'm removing myself from the scene. I won't become a danger to my friends."

"I'm more powerful than any of you realize, Buffy," Willow shrugged. "Nobody can help. I do it or I fail, just me."

"Just go away, already," Willow snapped, her hand suddenly clenching into a fist. "You haven't wanted to talk to me since we brought you back. In a couple of days you won't have to."

"Yes it is and we found out why, didn't we?" Willow said softly and Buffy could hear the tears in the voice, sounding more like her Willow. "I ripped you from a peaceful ending and brought you back to this hell called Sunnydale. You've blamed me since."

"Yes you do," Willow pushed verbally. "I knew what my price was in bringing you back and I was willing to pay it. I thought I could handle it and I couldn't. End of story."

"No, that was a surprise," Willow admitted. "Listen, you didn't come in here to talk about any of this. You came to yell at me about my use of magick, getting Dawn almost killed, her arm broken and you sleeping with Spike, why not get to it and get it over? I'm tired."

Willow's laugh was bitter as she turned over to face Buffy. The Slayer tried to not look surprised when she saw Willow's eyes were magick black. She couldn't help look confused and concerned about the rest of Willow's appearance though.

The red head was sweating, trembling, blood was running in a steady stream from her nose and her eyes were sunken into her head.

"Wills?" Buffy asked softly, reaching her hand out, almost touching Willow's cheek but the witch looked angry and Buffy held back.

"Wills, what's wrong?" the Slayer asked as Willow collapsed back onto the bed, holding herself as if she were in pain. Buffy pulled up the covers over her friend and grabbed a tissue to hold against Willow's nose.

"We need to get you to a hospital," Buffy growled, prepared to carry her friend all the way there if necessary.

"Again, don't bother," Willow said softly, the anger fading from her face as another wave of muscle cramping doubled her into a fetal position. "They can't help with this!" she growled through gritted teeth.

"I'm detoxifying from black magick," Willow muttered and cried out with the pain. She struggled as Buffy tried to take Willow into her arms. "Don't feel sorry for me, damnit!"

"Willow, what am I supposed to do?" Buffy demanded. "You're my best friend! Yeah, I'm pissed at you and you deserve it but you're still my friend!"

"No I'm not," Willow's eyes were unnerving to look at and Buffy was having a hard time looking at her friend. "We haven't been friends since you got back."

"Okay, maybe I had a hard time adjusting and blamed you," Buffy admitted, standing up and beginning to pace. "You're still my friend, damnit!"

Willow didn't answer her but her eyes told the Slayer that she didn't believe Buffy.

"One demon can smell the mark of another on a human," the witch answered softly.

Willow flinched back, unsure if Buffy was going to attack her or hold her. Buffy looked deep into Willow's blackened eyes.

"It doesn't matter now, does it?" Willow demanded. "I'm a danger to everyone so I'm going to leave. It doesn't concern you, Slayer."

Buffy winced. Willow's words felt like a physical blow and it showed. The blonde ignored the tears threatening to escape her eyes.

"Wills, please don't leave. If you do this detox thing, we can help," Buffy urged. "Then it can go back to the way it was, you part of the gang."

"Buffy, my love," Willow said sadly between the painful cramps. "It can never go back to the way it was. Tara will be there, being your magick girl. Xander and Anya will be there as the married couple trying to have a normal life. Giles is in England. Do you know how badly that hurt? Even more than Tara leaving me. He knew I was hurting and in trouble and he left."

Buffy was alarmed at the amount of blood flowing onto the towel Willow had placed under her head for her bleeding nose.

"Tara loves me but she'll never trust me," Willow continued. "I messed that up permanently. None of you will ever trust me again."

"Willow, we're human, we've all made mistakes and forgiven each other," Buffy said softly. "You were there after I was gone, you took care of Dawn, you kept the gang together, and you kept up the patrolling and living with the nightmare of pretending I was still alive and dealing with that Buffybot."

"That was weird," Willow admitted. "I didn't sleep a single night after you died. The nightmares were so horrible. We watched you dive into that other realm and come out dead on the other side. I died that night, Buffy. I kept going because of Dawn and to honor your memory."

"You risked black magick to bring me back," Buffy commented, hoping to keep Willow talking, even though she was in obvious pain.

Buffy moved slowly back onto the bed and Willow didn't move away this time and didn't struggle when Buffy placed her hand on Willow's shoulder. The Slayer remembered the anti-drug movies they watched in high school and Willow, in her present condition, reminded Buffy of someone withdrawing from heroin.

"I kept having those nightmares of you being in one of the many hells and suffering," Willow said, laying her head in Buffy's lap. Buffy whimpered as Willow cried out, curling up around the pain. "I would have done anything to get you out of there and I did," she said after a few moments.

"Why not? Tara will move on, Xander has Anya, you've got Spike and Dawn prefers Tara. Not that I blame her after breaking her arm and getting her chased by a demon…"

"Ah, I guess there's some of me left," Willow grimaced around the pain. "I can still babble."

"Tell me, damnit! Quit dancing around it!" Buffy snapped. "You said demon about you and Spike, and that you knew we slept together and that you had a price to pay for my soul."

"Yes to all of that," Willow nodded, clenching her hands into fists until Buffy could see the knuckles outlined in white skin.

"You gave up your soul?" Buffy whispered, praying that the answer was anything other than what she knew it was. The Slayer knew, it all made sense and it was so horrible.

"Seemed like a fair exchange," Willow said softly and Buffy could feel Willow's tears soaking into her jeans. "Don't yell at me right now, okay?"

"Wills, anything but that," tears streaked the Slayer's face as she held her friend.

"When I die then the Arch Prince gets my soul," Willow said, trying to sound calm. "I guess… I was hoping to play… a Faust and try to find a way… out of the bargain before my death. It also… opened me to temptation and… the probability of losing my soul… long before that."

"You sound like a teacher or a scientist explaining a math problem," Buffy complained.

"What can we do?" Buffy demanded, wrapping her arms around her friend and holding her tight, rocking Willow.

"The…options…are limited," Willow admitted. "Kill me….throw me….out. Let Rack….have….me. Let me…suffer and….hope I…make it."

"Willow, I am so not amused with those choices!" Buffy growled. She held tighter as Willow cried out with the pain, finally unable to hold back.

"Everything," Dawn admitted. "I heard you pounding on the door. How can we help her?"

"Get Xander, Anya and Tara over here," Buffy ordered. "Anya and Tara might have some answers. Tell them to also get snacks for everyone. I've got a feeling it's going to be a long few days. Also, bring me the phone."

"My God, Wills," Buffy whispered, tears streaming down her face. "I'm not going to let you go! You're not going to die because of me!"

"Let me go! You…have…Spike!" Willow hissed, her eyes glazed over with the pain.

Buffy waited for Dawn to finish her calls to Xander and Tara. The Slayer knew that it would probably take a few minutes to convince Tara to come over, especially if it concerned Willow.

Tara had already heard from Dawn that morning about Willow breaking her arm and summoning a demon that chased them all over town. The witch was more than upset with her former lover.

Buffy hoped that Dawn could convince Tara to come over, the Slayer felt out of her league as Willow's body convulsed in her arms.

"Rupert Giles here," a familiar English accent greeted Buffy and she almost sobbed with relief. She hadn't talked with Giles since her ex-Watcher had left the country. Buffy knew he had arrived safe in England and was settling in as a researcher for the Watcher's Council because Anya had talked with him concerning business about the Magic Box.

"Giles, it's Buffy," the young woman said slowly and heard his intake of breath. She knew what he was thinking; Buffy would only call if it was trouble.

"Buffy, so good to hear from you!" the voice was enthusiastic but Buffy had known Giles since she was 16, she could hear the hesitation.

"Giles, I need information," Buffy said, cutting to the point. "I know the Watcher Council has held back since I returned from the dead, I assume they're focusing on whoever they got to replace Faith. I really need information and you and the Council are the only ones I can think of."

"What is it? Some sort of new demon or something?" Giles asked, beginning to become curious.

"No, I need to know how to help someone detoxing from black magick and then I need to know how to break a deal with an Arch Prince of hell," Buffy said, almost holding her breath as she waited for a reaction from Giles.

"Yes," Buffy confirmed, trying not to cry as Willow whimpered on the bed behind her. Even unconscious, the witch's body was racked with pain and cravings.

"How about the worst heroin withdrawal they ever threatened us with in school? How do I know? I don't know about this stuff!" Buffy protested. She wanted to yell at him and was trying to keep her temper in line. The Slayer felt Willow had been right, Giles might have felt Buffy was ready to stand on her own without his parental and Watcher guidance but he had known Willow was headed for trouble.

"Calm down, what's happened?" Giles asked and Buffy could almost hear him removing his glasses and beginning to clean them; his habit when he was nervous, thoughtful, and embarrassed or anything.

"Willow got mixed up with a black magician and in over her head," Buffy tried to explain, running a hand through her hair. Buffy was tired and she wasn't sure she was going to get sleep any time soon either. "Stuff happened, Dawn got hurt and Willow has sworn off magick and wants to move out."

"Yeah, I came in to talk to her and found her in like total meltdown!" Buffy tried not to shout. "Willow says she's detoxing and she's a total mess! Her nose won't stop bleeding, she's got the shakes worse than some wino, and she's in pain, Giles!"

"Oh God," he muttered. "It does sound like detoxing. The best thing you can do is get her to a hospital and tell them you found her this way. Explain that you don't know what kind of drugs she's been on, they will keep her safe and alive."

"Giles, how bad is this?" Buffy asked, still keeping her back to Willow, not wanting to see the witch struggling against the blankets in her sleep.

"From what you describe, it could kill her and most likely will," Giles answered truthfully. "I didn't think she could fall that far this quickly though. This implies some major dealings with black stuff, Buffy. I knew she was playing with power and pushing the boundaries from gray to black but I didn't think this far."

"She said something tonight, Giles," Buffy said softly. "Willow said there was a price for bringing me back."

Buffy looked puzzled at the "clunk" sound on the other end of the phone and Giles obviously stumbling to pick the receiver back up.

"Buffy, I'm catching the next flight I can," he said firmly and then hesitated. "I'm an idiot!"

"I didn't question her about the details!" he shouted and Buffy knew he was angry at himself about something. "Of course there was a price! Why didn't I ask? I merely scolded her for using high level magick."

"Giles, will you explain already?" Buffy shouted and Willow whimpered behind her.

"To bring your life and soul back there had to be an exchange," Giles said, his voice calmer. "To bring you back would create a vacuum in the reality of things. Something had to take your place. Normally that would have been someone's life. That's why these spells are never done! It was always done by black sorcerers who offered human sacrifices for it."

"Willow gave up her soul for me," Buffy added. "She said when she dies that the Arch Prince Demon gets her soul and she would be open to temptation and losing her soul before then."

"Yes, she was hoping to outwit the demon and break the bargain before she dies," he answered.

"You said ‘was,'" Buffy said softly, turning to look at the struggling Willow.

"It may be too late, Buffy," Giles said gently. "Get her to a hospital or try and handle it yourselves, I'll be there as soon as I can. If you can get her to talk, get the name of that demon."

"If you get the name of that demon, call me – I'll have this damned phone thing with me," he instructed, ignoring her comment.

"Okay, I'm going to try and keep her here. If they think she's on drugs then they'll throw her out of school and screw up her future," Buffy decided.

"I understand but she may not have a future," Giles said softly. "If it gets too bad take her in. I'm going to send over some supplies through the Watcher Council and a nurse. Don't fight me on this."

"Oh my God!" Xander exclaimed softly when Dawn showed him and Anya into Willow's room.

Buffy was sitting against the headboard with Willow between her legs, lying on the bed. The Slayer had Willow's wrists in her hands and the witch was struggling and thrashing against the pain.

Both young women were sweating but Willow was worse and looked like she had been, and was going through, hell. The witch's eyes were still black, her nose still bleeding, and her body convulsing and trembling.

Xander couldn't believe how bad the scene looked and he couldn't believe the tears flowing down Willow's and Buffy's faces.

"Xander, this is not good," Anya said calmly and moved past her fiancée and sat on the edge of the bed. She quickly looked Willow over and nodded as Willow whimpered in pain. "She is trying to purge potent black magic from her system. It shouldn't be this bad though."

Xander frowned and turned to Dawn, standing in the hallway. "We brought some orange juice and other stuff. Get a large glass, better yet, bring the jug and a plastic cup. Also the bag of chocolate bars."

"Okay," Dawn scampered down the stairs towards the kitchen as Xander turned to look at the women.

"Willow never said anything but she knows," Xander began. "When we were 14, my older brother ran away from home. I found him in the bad part of town in a run down hotel."

"I know," he nodded as he squatted next to the bed, reaching out to hold Anya's hand. "No one did. He was three years older than me and my half brother with a different last name. Phillip was hooked on heroin and wanted help. I helped him quit cold turkey during Christmas break."

"He didn't stay clean though and was dead of an overdose by Groundhog Day," Xander continued, wiping away tears as he watched Willow struggling. "Our parents told everyone he died back east in a car crash and forgot about me from that day on."

"Dawn said that Willow was detoxing and I know a little bit about that. Orange juice will keep her sugar level up from losing fluids over the next few days and sweets are about all she'll be able to eat or hold down."

"Vomiting until she breaks something inside, diarrhea you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy and sweating like crazy," Xander explained grimly.

"He is right, it is like your modern day drugs," Anya nodded. "It will be miserable for her and all of us to get her through it."

"Listen, I am so glad you both have some answers," Buffy said slowly as Willow stopped thrashing, only half conscious. "You don't have to stay. I know we've all been a little battered around the edges because of her magic lately."

"Buffy, Willow and I were friends before kindergarten," Xander growled. "I'm not leaving. I know what to expect better than you."

"Me too," a voice said from the doorway and everyone was surprised to see Dawn and Tara standing there. Tara looked like she was about to break into tears at the sight of her former lover. She crossed the room quickly and Anya got up so she could sit next to Willow.

"Willow?" she asked softly but Willow didn't seem able to hear her as she lightly struggled against the pain.

"Dawn didn't explain until I walked in the door," Tara smiled at the young and manipulative teenager. "I couldn't believe she was this bad off."

"I know," Buffy nodded and gritted her teeth as another round of muscle cramping caused Willow to cry out and struggle against the Slayer's grip.

"We should find the belts from robes and tie those wrists to the bed," Xander suggested and blushed when Buffy raised her eyebrows at him. "Why are you holding her arms?" he countered.

"Yes, it does. Light, sound, touch, everything will hurt," Xander nodded. "By tying her down, we can try and keep her from injuring herself or us."

"Yeah, in the middle of withdrawals, she'd claw your eyes out to get a fix," Xander said, brutally honest.

"Xander is right," Anya nodded again, leaning against him. "She will call all of us the most foul names and threaten our lives if we don't help her get a magic fix."

"Damn, this is not going to be fun," Buffy growled. "Dawn, help Xander find what he needs to secure Willow to the bed."

"No, it's only whispered about among magic users and sorcerers," Tara shook her head. "Buffy, it takes a lot of power to do this to someone."

It didn't take long to secure Willow to the bed by her wrists. Next came Buffy's explanation of finding Willow in the condition she did and Willow's explanation. Dawn didn't say anything about Buffy leaving out the part about Spike and Buffy sleeping together and the Slayer was grateful.

"Oh sweet Goddess," Tara's eyes were wide with shock and fear as she looked at the red haired witch. "She made a pact with an Arch Demon Prince for her soul?"

"And you hated her for bringing you back, ironic," Anya commented and Xander hissed at her to keep quiet as Buffy glared.

"Giles is on his way and is sending someone over with supplies, medical stuff," Buffy added, ignoring Anya's observation.

Whatever or whoever Buffy was expecting from the Council it wasn't the extremely old black woman knocking on her door the next morning. It did ease Buffy's mind a little that the woman was carrying a large doctor's bag and a medium size duffle bag that looked full and heavy.

"From the looks of it, honey, I'm in the right place," she said easily. "I'm Dorothy Hanson, the Watcher Council sent me to see after a friend of yours."

Buffy sighed with relief. It had been a rough night on everyone and she knew it must show. Willow had been hit constantly with racking muscle spasms until she was screaming with the pain and throwing up until there was nothing left in her system except dry heaves.

The gang took turns taking care of their friend while the others tried to sleep. It wasn't easy with the screams sounding through the house.

Everyone was finally able to relax and get a couple of hours of sleep when Tara found a sleep spell that helped put Willow into a restful sleep for two hours. It still wasn't enough for the weary friends.

On top of dealing with the horrors that just seemed to be beginning with Willow, Spike had shown up, demanding Buffy's attention. He had been only slightly sympathetic over Willow's condition and argued with the Slayer when she refused to go anywhere with him while Willow was hurting.

Buffy was nearly frantic with the stress of trying to keep the others from finding out she had had sex with Spike, from worrying about Willow, worrying about the affects everything was having on Dawn, and about Giles returning.

"I'm sorry," she immediately apologized. "I guess I'm a little tired. Let me grab that for you."

"Sure thing," Dorothy agreed, following the Slayer into the house. "I'm a nurse and I brought some medical supplies that we'll need."

She didn't even bat an eye at the sight of Anya curled up in an easy chair under a blanket and Xander stretched out on the sofa, both sound asleep.

"Upstairs in her room," Buffy said, pointing at the stairs. "She's finally sleeping."

"Really? I'm surprised," Dorothy commented as she followed the Slayer up the stairs.

"Yes, I'm a specialist in helping runaway students detox from this stuff," the woman nodded. "I got into the biz at an early age, honey."

"That you are a Slayer," Dorothy began as they stopped in the hallway. "You and your friends have been through a very rough time including your death."

"To get you back your friend made a deal with some demon and did some high level magic," Dorothy continued. "Then she fell into using the magic too easily and crossed the boundaries between gray into black. Now she wants back."

"Something like that," Buffy nodded. "She hooked up with a guy into black stuff and almost got my little sister killed by a demon. Willow is swearing that she's done with magic and will be leaving us."

"That wouldn't be a good idea," the nurse frowned. "If she cuts herself off from her friends and her normal surroundings, the temptation to fall back into the magic will be too strong."

"Her girl…our friend Tara is a witch and did a spell to help Willow sleep for a couple of hours," Buffy explained.

"Yeah, only does good stuff," Buffy muttered. "She left Willow because of the magic stuff but she's helping now."

"Good, she can help me with your friend," Dorothy said, nodding for Buffy to open the door to Willow's room.

Dorothy sat down at the kitchen table as Tara poured them both a cup of coffee. It had been a rough eight hours and they were both tired. Willow had awakened as bad as before, her eyes dark and doubled over with pain until her nose was bleeding freely again.

The nurse had provided restraints that wrapped under the bed for Willow's wrists and inserted an IV drip to keep the young woman from becoming dehydrated. Together with Tara, the nurse turned into a witch and kept Willow shielded from reaching out for any kind of magic relief.

Finally, after six hours of suffering, Dorothy had insisted on a tranquilizer for the red haired witch. Now Buffy was out patrolling with Xander and Anya, Dawn was doing homework while watching over a sleeping Willow and Tara was pouring coffee.

"The Council said your girlfriend made a pact with a demon, has she said his name?" Dorothy asked as she poured sugar into her coffee.

"No, she t-told Buffy she made a deal with an Arch D-Demon Prince, that he g-gets her soul when s-she dies in exchange for Buffy's life and soul," Tara explained.

Dorothy frowned and held out her hands, palms up. Tara looked puzzled but extended her hands to the old woman and watched as Dorothy wrapped her hands around Tara's and closed her eyes.

"Your family did you a disservice, young witch," Dorothy declared after several minutes, opening her eyes but keeping Tara's hands in hers. Tara felt a familiar blush creeping over her face. "You aren't worthless, you aren't evil and you are more than beautiful."

"No protesting!" Dorothy snapped and held tightly to Tara's hands. "I need you strong and confident! And no more stuttering, you're better than that."

Tara gasped as a surge of energy shot through the old woman's hands and through her body. Dorothy acted as if nothing happened.

"We might be able to pull her back and keep her alive for a few years," Dorothy muttered. "We might even be able to keep her on the gray side of magic but I doubt we can break whatever pact she's made."

"I heard that," Buffy complained from the doorway with Xander and Anya behind her. "Want to explain?"

The small group moved into the kitchen, Anya going to pour all of them cups of coffee.

"There are different levels of demons and such," Dorothy began explaining, not noticing Xander and Buffy glance in Anya's direction. For once she was keeping quiet about her demon past. "Your friend Willow went straight to the top if she made a deal with an Arch Prince."

"Arch Prince?" Anya asked, "you just said demon, you didn't say anything about Arch Prince," she complained.

"Oh boy, oh boy," Anya muttered, getting up from her stool to pace restlessly in the kitchen as everyone watched her, especially Dorothy. "Arch Prince, not good. This is so not good!"

"Even my Lord was only a Prince, he wasn't an Arch Prince," Anya said hurriedly. "I never even wanted to see any of them! Most of them are ugly and they are so powerful, they just zap you where you stand without a thought, just a wave of a finger and you're toast."

Tara and Buffy felt the energy rising around Dorothy as her eyes widened and both quickly jumped in.

"Anya is a former demon, she lost her powers and was cursed by her demon lord to spend the rest of her life as a mortal," Buffy explained rapidly.

"I heard through the Council that you had fallen into the light," Dorothy said gently. "What do you know about the Arch Princes?"

"Just that no one messes with them," Anya repeated. "The demons below them try and stay out of their way or curry favor with them."

Dorothy nodded. "If Willow made a deal with one of them, we won't be able to break it. They are exceptional at covering all loopholes not in their favor."

"Willow's soul is lost?" Tara whispered, her eyes filling with tears as Buffy reached out to hold her hand.

"More than likely," Dorothy said bluntly. "She'll always be tempted by black magic and when she dies, the Arch Prince gets her soul. The only other option is unthinkable."

"That someone trades their soul for hers," Dorothy answered. "Or Willow tricks enough souls to darkness and holds off her own death, trying to outlast or outwit the demon."

"Not that easy, Slayer," Dorothy said grimly. "This time you wouldn't end up in a peaceful place. The demon that would claim your soul would make your nightmares of hell seem like a church picnic."

"I risked that for Dawn and the rest of the world, why shouldn't I for Wills?" Buffy demanded.

"Because if you willingly take over that pact for your friend, then an Arch Prince of Hell will have the soul of a Slayer at his hands," Dorothy explained. "He could send you back to Earth as a demon that would make anything you've faced seem like child's play."

"Even when it meant your death?" Dorothy asked gently and wasn't surprised when Buffy jumped up and ran out the back door.

"Yeah, almost the first day of our sophomore year," Xander commented. "Willow and I were the social outcasts and Buffy was slated for the fast track to popularity but she became friends with Willow and I came with the package."

"What?" Xander demanded, almost falling off his stool. "What are you talking about and where's the stutter?"

"We decided she didn't need it," Dorothy said casually, nodding for Tara to continue.

"What are you talking about?" Xander repeated. "Buffy is straight and Willow was with you."

"I don't doubt that Willow loves me," Tara said quickly. "I've always known how she feels about Buffy and I've suspected Buffy felt the same. I think the timing was never right, neither of them could face it and when Willow could, Buffy was with Riley."

"No, not exactly," Tara said, shifting uncomfortably in her chair. "Willow really loves me, or believes that she does, but Buffy's always first in her heart."

"That might explain why they're willing to go to such extremes for each other," Dorothy said slowly, still sipping her coffee.

"Who the hell?" Xander demanded. "Everyone we know is already here except Giles and he's not due until tomorrow night."

"Well, let's hope it's not Spike, he's just annoying lately," Anya muttered as Xander slid off his stool and headed for the door. After a moment, she followed him.

Xander's face reflected his surprise when he opened the door and found Amy standing there.

"Hi," he said, his voice not as enthusiastic as Anya placed a worried hand on his arm.

"Can I see Willow? I didn't hear from her for the last couple of days, thought we could hang at the Bronze or something," Amy asked.

"If she's not feeling well, maybe I could help with that," she suggested firmly.

"Xander, I need to see Willow and you don't even live here," Amy growled, her hands beginning to glow slightly.

"Neither do you, rat-girl," Anya snapped. "You've done enough damage with Willow. Now leave."

"Maybe I should step in here," a masculine voice suggested. Rack stepped out of the shadows from the porch to stand beside Amy, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "I'm Rack and Willow belongs with us."

Xander felt a chill sweep over his body as Rack's one good eye glared at him. He tried to slam the door shut but Rack merely placed his hand on the door and Xander couldn't budge it.

"Anya, get to Willow and Dawn," Xander said softly, standing his ground in the doorway.

Suddenly a figure darted under Xander's arm and threw something at the witches, causing them to howl in anger and stumble back down the stairs. A firm hand grabbed Xander back and slammed the door shut.

The young man looked over in surprise at Dorothy as she held out something in her hand, chanting and motioning with her other hand as she moved the wand around the door. A faint bluish light filled the jam of the door.

"I've already sealed the rest of the house," Dorothy said simply as she turned to face a surprised Xander. "That the evil one Willow's been messing with?"

Dorothy opened the door but didn't step outside, Xander sighed with relief when Buffy came running in from the kitchen to stand beside the old nurse and witch.

"She's already mine," Rack taunted and extended his hands, energy dancing between them like a ball in a child's hands.

"Her soul will be mine and so will the child," he grinned and got into a car and Amy slid behind the wheel.

"Child?" All three standing at the door repeated and Buffy felt her knees growing weak. Xander grabbed her from behind.

Buffy sat down on the sofa, heavily, with Xander next to her. Tara stood by the stairs stunned as Anya and Dawn pounded down to join the others. Dorothy sat down in the easy chair Anya had been sleeping in earlier.

"Child? What child?" Dawn asked as Anya sat down next to Xander, her face reflecting her worry over his confused expression.

"Child? What child?" Anya repeated again and then her eyes widened. "Willow is pregnant? He intends the child for his demons?"

"Willow slept with him?" Xander muttered. "She doesn't go for guys and he's totally like un-datable!"

"Dawn?" Buffy asked slowly as the young girl began to blush and wouldn't look at any of them.

"I don't know," she admitted. "They were all acting so weird. Amy was totally stoned, like she was on acid or mushrooms and Willow was off with that creep in the other room. I don't know what happened in there."

"You know what someone is like on acid or mushrooms?" Buffy demanded with a parental stern look.

"I saw some kids get fried at a party and I left, okay?" Dawn explained. "They thought the light bulbs were turning into dragons and dancing around the room. Too weird."

"When she came out her blouse was buttoned wrong and she was dazed," Dawn continued. "Her eyes were black and she was acting like she was stoned. Then everything went insane."

"I never even noticed the blouse," Buffy frowned. "She may not even remember what happened."

"Probably not," Dorothy agreed. "It would be like someone slipping one of you girls something in your drink and taking advantage of you."

"Almost certain she is if he thinks it," Dorothy shrugged. "Doesn't change much except we now have a powerful sorcerer who has a claim to your friend on several levels and a powerful witch with him."

"So we fight them, keep Willow safe, and she has a child by that rapist?" Buffy demanded.

"Well, I would suggest a visit from a Watcher Council doctor but it wouldn't help," Dorothy said.

"Why not?" Xander asked. "Not that Willow would agree to an abortion. She's Pro-Choice and everything but doesn't believe in it for herself."

"That bastard said something tonight, children," Dorothy said thoughtfully. "Might give us some hope."

"Let me make some phone calls," Dorothy said, holding up her hand. "One of you get back up and keep an eye on Willow. Slayer, I need information about that Rack thing out there."

"Spike said he knew him and helped me find Dawn," Buffy said thoughtfully. "Come on, Tara."

Xander watched from the door as Anya and Dorothy as they helped Willow sit up in bed, trying to get her to drink more of the orange juice. The young man watched his devastated friend trying to focus, her eyes green once more.

The women were satisfied when she got half a glass down, letting her lay back on the bed. Dorothy felt the energy shifting around the red haired witch and clapped her hands, distracting Willow. Anya grabbed Willow's wrists as Dorothy raised her hands.

Xander dashed forward and grabbed Willow's wrist that was closest to him, helping Anya struggle to get the restraints on her once again as a blue light spread from Dorothy's hands, covering the bed and Willow.

Willow screamed again and kicked Anya in the stomach. Xander threw himself over Willow's legs.

Xander and Anya stepped back as Dorothy chanted and Willow raged. Xander held his hand out as Anya stepped around the bed and into his arms.

Xander jumped to obey the nurse as the blue light faded and Dorothy grabbed for a bucket that had been placed beside the bed. Anya and Xander winced as Willow rolled to the edge of the bed, beginning to vomit into the bucket.

"It's okay, I'll watch her now," Dorothy said gently as she reached for a wet washcloth. "She'll be weak as a kitten in a couple of minutes and I can restrain her. Go and comfort the youngster."

Willow collapsed back on the bed finally and made no effort to resist as Dorothy restrained her wrist and ankle again. The older woman pulled up a chair next to the bed and placed the wet washcloth on Willow's forehead. Next, Dorothy held a straw in a glass of water to Willow's lips.

"My name is Dorothy and I'm going to help you get through this," the nurse-witch explained.

"Since I was a child smaller than Dawn in there," Dorothy smiled. "I've helped many down this road before. I need your help though, Red Willow."

"I read some of your general Book of Shadows," Dorothy said, pointing vaguely in the direction of Willow's altar and supply drawers. "What I didn't find was your black one."

"Where is the spell you used to bring the Slayer back? And a copy of your pact with the Arch Prince?" Dorothy questioned.

"I know, it's all part of the pact," Dorothy said calmly. "You can't name your Prince and you can't reveal the spell you used to bring the Slayer back but we need that information to find a way to either break the deal or a way that it won't cost you your soul, honey."

"Buffy's back, deal was made," Willow muttered, still refusing to look at her. "Nothing can be done."

"Honey, you did that spell and made that deal out of love, there's always an answer," Dorothy assured her.

"It's beginning to hurt again," Willow turned to look at the nurse-witch, her eyes becoming fearful.

"You're going to get worse before it gets better," Dorothy said truthfully. "Tell me his name before you lose it again, young one!"

"No! I won't endanger anyone because of me!" Willow snapped and gritted her teeth as the pain began building again and her muscles began cramping.

"Who was his messenger then?" Dorothy shouted back as Willow yelled with the pain.

Spike growled and came up out of his chair with a battle axe in hand when the door to his crypt crashed open.

Buffy easily deflected the axe and took it from the vampire and smacked him in the nose, sending him back into his chair.

Spike held his injured nose and glared up at Buffy as Tara walked in behind her.

"What?" he demanded. "You don't bloody well knock and you bring a party guest along? You getting even kinkier than I thought?"

"I want very few words from you," Buffy growled, placing a foot in the center of his chest.

"I know you like it rough, Slayer," Spike smirked. "But I'm not used to an audience."

"Very few words!" Buffy snapped, moving the blade further into his skin, causing Spike to raise up in his chair to avoid being cut. "Only words concerning anything you know about Rack and the hold he has on Willow."

"Oh bollocks, Slayer!" he growled. "It always comes back to Little Tree, doesn't it?"

"Words, Spike, choose them carefully," Buffy threatened. "I've had very little sleep and my friend is hurting."

Buffy removed the blade and her foot and let him sit up in the chair and to readjust his leather jacket.

"When you said Willow was sick with that magic stuff that Rack does, I did some checking among the demons and the spell casters," Spike informed the two women and shrugged when Buffy looked surprised. "Hey, she never wanted to stake me and was even nice to me when I got chipped."

"Yeah, well, Rack is a major player," Spike said calmly. "He keeps alive and keeps his soul intact by offering up others in his place."

"Instead of making deals for his own soul for power, he corrupts someone else," Tara explained and Spike nodded.

"Yeah, that's the game," he smirked. "He's got poor Amy more than half way there and Willow is a special delight of his, from what I hear."

"He wants her very badly," Spike grinned, almost on the verge of taunting the Slayer. "I hear comments that Willow is more powerful than any of the sorcerers have seen in decades, maybe even centuries. They all would like a crack at her but Rack's got first dibs."

"He thinks he can get Willow's soul and keep his own out of danger?" Buffy repeated.

"Yeah, she's young, fairly innocent and really powerful," Spike nodded, not understanding the slight smile on Buffy's face.

"Rack has promised Willow's soul to some demon, hasn't he?" she asked, clarifying the information.

"That's the word, he figured he had her totally until you took her home," Spike muttered. "Rack thought you'd throw her out or she'd run back to him."

Spike looked puzzled. "First, sorcerers like him don't make deals they can't follow through with, that's how they stay alive so long and so powerful. Rack must have a pretty good hold on Willow to even think about promising her over to the dark stuff. Second, Willow was more than half way there before she met Rack. He'll deliver."

"Then some demon might be very unhappy with the boy and do very nasty and unmentionable things to his body before taking Rack's soul to hell for a nice long and sweet eternity of torture," Spike answered.

Tara's eyes widened. "If Rack is forced to pay up for his pacts, it might work."

"Listen, what if it was a major deal, like offering Willow and the soul of a child?" Buffy asked, turning to Spike.

"Giles will be here tomorrow, I want answers tonight because Rack might come back," Buffy growled.

"Okay, let me go and find some more answers," he said firmly. "I'll get back to you before dawn."

The moment Tara had been dreading finally arrived when Buffy stopped outside the front door of the Summers' home and pointed to the porch swing. Tara sighed heavily and sat down and tried not to flinch when Buffy sat down next to her.

"About what? That my ex-girlfriend may have slept with some sleazy sorcerer, a male sorcerer?" Tara snapped. "I broke up with her, she can do what she wants."

"You know you don't stutter when you're angry," Buffy commented casually. "As for Willow doing what she wants, that got her in this fix. Third, you left because you love her, not because you stopped. Put that together and it matters a lot to you."

"Sure, you could leave," Buffy said bluntly. "I don't think you want to but I understand the wigging thing. I'm not handling this so well either. I'm all torn up inside and don't know what to do or think."

"I loved Willow, still do," Tara said slowly, thinking. "I don't know if we could ever go back and I know I'm not the one she truly loves. So I'm wondering where that leaves me."

"Right here with us," Buffy said firmly. "No matter what happens with you guys. You're our friend now."

"What are you talking about? Am I upset that she slept with some guy?" Buffy asked. "Yeah, it obviously wasn't safe sex, it was with a slime ball, with a bad guy, and I'm not even sure if it was consensual. Besides, who do you think Willow loves? It's not Oz, she chose you over him."

"Alright," Buffy snapped, jumping up from the swing to face Tara. "Enough dancing around whatever you want to say! Me too! We're in this mess because everyone was keeping things to themselves."

"Giles was worrying about my return from the dead and if I had lost the Slayer spark. Dawn is in denial that I was having trouble adjusting, Xander and Anya were stressing over when to tell everyone about their engagement, and you were worried about Willow's magickal use getting out of hand. And Willow, keeping all the worst secrets, black magic, pacts with demons, the price for getting me back."

"Not telling all of you and working through my adjustment to living again, not telling you I wasn't overjoyed to be back," Buffy admitted.

"With the need for total honesty between all of us," Buffy said, calming down slightly. "I was too busy with my own screwed up emotions and mental meltdown that I barely even noticed you moved out. One of my friends leaves her lover, my best friend, and I barely even noticed and I never asked why. That sucks and I suck."

"So what are we avoiding here? That we're pissed as hell that Willow might be pregnant? What else?" Buffy demanded.

"That you turned to Spike because you aren't ready to face something and someone you've been wanting for years," Tara snapped.

"Pretty much, they figured it out when you two were standing outside shouting at each other about it the other night," Tara smirked and shrugged when Buffy looked both outraged and ashamed.

"Okay, I turn to Spike because he's a vampire and I'm wanting Angel?" Buffy pondered.

"No, even Angel knew who you wanted," Tara said patiently, much like a teacher waiting for a student to see the light when solving a particularly difficult problem.

"Just think about it for a while, Buffy," Tara suggested, standing up and moving for the door. "Think about your life without any of us in it, one at a time and see if you find your answers."

Giles was able to get an earlier flight than originally scheduled when someone canceled at the last minute, enabling the former Watcher to arrive on Buffy's doorstep in almost record time.

Xander's face lit up with delight and relief when he opened the door and saw his former mentor standing on the porch. Giles coughed nervously as the young man hugged him fondly.

"Well, yes," Giles grumbled as Xander turned his head, wiping away tears of relief and exhaustion.

"Come on in, Giles," Xander said, grabbing for Giles' suitcase and overnight bag.

The ex-Watcher wasn't sure what he'd find when he entered the Summers home, it certainly wasn't that the place looked the same but then he scolded himself. It was exactly what he should have expected; he had only been gone a short time.

It was long enough, however, to affect his relationship with everyone, he thought as Buffy came down the stairs. The Slayer didn't rush down to hug him but approached him almost cautiously.

Giles figured he had earned the slightly chilled reaction, he hadn't even said goodbye to his Slayer.

"How is she?" he asked, avoiding the topic for everyone's sake, especially his right then.

"It's rough," she admitted. "The witch nurse the Council sent over has been a life saver."

"I read the background on her, she's very good at this," Giles nodded, pleased that something was working out. "Fill me in on what happened, everything, every detail."

"Xander, grab Tara, Anya and Dawn," Buffy said calmly as she motioned the way to the kitchen.

"Don't, Giles," Buffy snapped, keeping her back to the man she considered more important in her life than her own father. "This doesn't concern us. Willow is sick and in danger on all kinds of levels. Let's just deal with that, okay? I'll fill you in on adult life later."

"Alright," Giles said softly, wondering once again if he had made the right decision in leaving the Slayer.

Within minutes the Scooby Gang, minus Willow and Spike, were filling in their mentor on everything that had happened before he left and after. Everything they knew about Willow and her magic. The Watcher kept notes as they went along, some of them hearing some of the things for the first time.

By the end of two hours they were tired and emotionally drained after describing the confrontation with Rack and the talk with Spike.

"Yeah, but he didn't show," Xander shrugged. "He called and said he couldn't make it over, he hadn't had enough blood to risk being out in the daylight."

"No, he didn't," Xander shook his head. "Look, Giles, straight up. Can we save Willow and her soul?"

Giles took off his glasses and began cleaning them with his shirt. "Uh, actually, I'm not sure."

"If she did sleep with that rat, will the kid be cursed?" Xander continued, wincing at the sight of Tara's pained face and Buffy's stormy eyes.

"Well, there is a possibility that hasn't been brought up yet," Giles said slowly, hesitating.

"Well, from what Dawn describes," Giles continued, still slowly. "It could be that Willow was, in affect, much like someone stoned out of their minds and doesn't even realize what happened."

"Yes, or more along the lines of slipping someone a hallucination drug and sleeping with them," Giles nodded.

"Well, actually, there have been cases of sorcerers obtaining young women to mate with…well…it's not unheard of and actually rather common…."

"Well, more likely a demon," Giles corrected. "Given Rack's power, Willow's powers, youth, beauty and such, probably a high ranking demon."

"The child of a high ranking demon and power witch would be highly prized by both sides," Anya commented. "It would have natural powers of light and dark."

"Oh goddess," Tara whimpered. "It was horrible when I thought I was…that I was a half demon."

"If it is the child of a demon," Giles frowned in thought, "they are self protective. Only the death of the mother could kill the child."

"It's getting dark, we should be prepared in case Rack shows up again," Xander suggested, looking out the window.

Buffy tried to move her chair and frowned, puzzled. A quick glance around told her that no one was able to move their chairs.

"What?" Giles demanded, shoving at the table with all his might as Buffy shoved the opposite direction.

"I can't! Something is blocking me!" Tara cried out, unable to even move her body.

A crashing noise from upstairs brought a cry of frustration from Buffy as she tried to twist out of the chair and couldn't move.

A familiar scream broke through the muttered curses and groans from the group. It was followed by an eerie silence.

Everyone tried to turn to face the kitchen doorway when they heard the front door open and someone in heavy shoes approaching.

Spike broke into laughter as Xander fell backwards, Buffy fell out of her chair and Giles sprawled over onto his side, also falling out of his chair.

"Glad to see you all having a nice cuppa while Little Tree here goes flying out the window!" Spike taunted.

"Dawn, check on Dorothy!" Buffy snapped as Spike placed a half clothed and only half conscious Willow in the chair Giles had fallen out of. "Let's get her upstairs and find out what happened."

Spike looked surprised and bemused as Buffy shoved past him and drew Willow into her arms easily.

Willow mumbled and wrapped her arms around the Slayer, closing her eyes. Buffy gently carried her friend up the stairs and into Willow's bedroom. She knew everyone was right behind her, including Spike from the chatter and arguing following her.

They found Dorothy sitting up in a chair beside the bed, the window knocked out and Dawn holding a washcloth against Dorothy's temple.

"She was hit by something," Dawn explained as Buffy laid Willow on the bed. Willow whimpered and clawed at Buffy's shirt. The Slayer laid down beside the witch, wrapping her arms around Willow's body.

Willow relaxed instantly and didn't fight as Giles and Xander restrained first one wrist and ankle and then the other.

"I figured you was one of them Watchers with the tweed suit," Dorothy smiled slightly. "I got hit by the young one there," she said, pointing to Willow.

"Told you," Xander grumbled. "Junkies will do anything for a fix when they're coming off the stuff."

"Yup, boy has it right," Dorothy nodded. "I thought I had put her under with a Sleep Spell but something didn't work. I turned my back to get my coffee and she used magic and unbuckled the restraint, got her hand free and used magic to throw that lamp at me."

"Yes," Dorothy nodded. "I went down, she used magic to unbuckle the rest of the straps, picked up a chair and threw it through the window. Then the young girl floated out the window like an angel."

"Right, good thing I was trotting over here," Spike continued. "I saw Red floating down into Rack's arms. I flatted Rack's tires, snuck up behind him as he was catching the witch and decked him. You know the rest, I ducked into the house with Willow and broke Rat girl's spell on you guys."

"Willow went to him," Giles muttered, watching as Willow began twitching again. Dorothy, also watching Willow, took the washcloth from Dawn's hand and handed it to Buffy as Willow's nose began bleeding again. Buffy turned Willow's head slightly and held the cloth up to catch the blood.

"Damn, this whole situation is not good," Giles complained. "Come downstairs, Miss Dorothy, let's have a look at that wound and a cup of tea."

"Tara, go with them," Buffy suggested. "Watchers tend to think of us all as kids sometimes. You know more about Willow's magic than the rest of us, maybe you can help them."

Buffy noticed Giles' expression, a mixture of resentment and a touch of guilt over her comment and ignored it.

"Come on, Anya," Xander said. "Let's go watch some TV, we'll take the middle of the night shift."

"Spike, can you stay with Dawn while she does her homework?" Buffy asked. "I don't want anyone left alone with Rack and Amy out there and I want to stay with Wills for awhile."

"Now, damnit!" he snapped, ignoring Dawn's widening eyes. "I'm not something you can just pick up and use when you feel like it and then get tossed aside."

Buffy's eyes flashed with a sudden intensity that startled both Dawn and Spike as she came up off the bed.

"Yes, I can!" Buffy growled, shoving a finger in Spike's chest. "I'm sorry it went that far! I'm sorry I used you but that's all it was! I like you, Spike, but I don't love you. Yes, there's sexual tension there and you are sexy as hell and incredible in bed but I am not in love with you!"

"I thought you were smarter than that," Buffy said bitterly, trying not to let the tears of rage, anger and shame escape her eyes. "I'm sorry, Spike. I used Riley and I used you. Even Angel knew when it was hopeless and left."

"No, I don't," Buffy admitted. "But we can't have a relationship other than Slayer and de-fanged vampire. Slayer and member of the Scooby Gang. I can't be with you again, Spike. Not and live with myself."

Buffy glanced over at her sister, wishing Dawn was in her room and not hearing this but it was too late. Dawn had heard more than enough that it didn't matter whatever was said from that point on.

"Yeah, I guess the answer has always been Willow,," Buffy said softly. "I can't even imagine my life without Willow in it. I was even adjusting to Giles being gone; missing my mom has gotten a little less painful; even missing wherever I was at when I was dead would be easier to live with than missing Willow."

"God, Slayer," Spike shook his head. "Always thought you might have a thing for Red and I know she's always worshipped you except on rare occasions but I never thought you wanted the whole package."

"Why? Because I've never dated a girl or woman before?" Buffy demanded, her voice suddenly weary. "I don't think it matters what someone's gender is. I fell in love with Willow a very long time ago. The gender thing got in the way of me recognizing that. I don't know if a relationship would work on any level other than what we have but I'm not going to let her slip away without finding out."

"Then I'll survive somehow," Buffy shrugged. "If she wakes up and we get her through this and she wants to be with Tara, then I will be their best friend and never say a word."

"Yup," Buffy agreed, sitting back down on the bed and stroking Willow's hair. "Now go on, take care of Dawn. You're the best protector she's ever had."

Buffy waited until she heard the door shut and laid back down next to Willow, talking softly, singing, whatever it took to keep her friend calm and sleeping peacefully.

Tara settled down with Giles and Dorothy and listened as they compared notes and asked her questions about what she knew of Willow's magic. She was as frustrated as they were; Willow had kept her in the dark as much as she had everyone else. Tara had known Willow was getting out of control, just like everybody else, and Willow had kept the details of the spell to bring Buffy back from her as well.

"I'm supposed to be Willow partner, not just her lover, but her partner," Tara complained. "She kept everything from me as well and let me go without a fight."

The young witch fought back the tears suddenly filling her eyes and Dorothy leaned over the table to hold her hands.

"Tara," Giles said gently. "She may have let you go because she lost hope and didn't want to take you down with her, or it could be she really is too far gone."

"The little redhead did that spell because she has a good heart and soul," Dorothy pointed out. "That's what drew you to her."

"It was out of love but not for me," Tara whispered, giving voice to her fears and reality. "Willow was willing to sell her soul and to take the chance on losing herself to darkness and evil but it wasn't for me."

"She didn't even ask her lover if it was okay to do something like that for a friend," Tara said wearily.

Giles pulled his glasses off and ran a hand over his face. He was tired from the long trip, lack of sleep and highs stress level.

"Can we work out the realities of everyone's dating life after we save Willow's life and soul?" he snapped, surprising Tara with his bluntness. "I'm sorry, let's just concentrate on saving her, shall we?"

"Good, I was hoping you wouldn't leave," Giles said truthfully and Dorothy nodded.

"Another worker of Light is always a help," she smiled. "Willow said the messenger was Orcus."

"When my family told me I was half demon, I researched demons, trying to find answers. I've read about Orcus," she said softly.

"Well, children," Dorothy frowned. "I'm a good old country witch and not one of your bookworm types. Who and what is Orcus?"

"The Prince of the Undead," Giles said softly, looking up as Buffy walked into the kitchen.

"No, Xander and Anya are watching over her," Buffy answered. "They have the meds that Dorothy brought to keep her asleep for the night."

"Willow said the messenger between her and the Arch Prince was Orcus," Dorothy explained.

"Messenger?" Buffy asked, beginning to realize why Giles had been so insistent all those years about paying attention to the scholarly stuff about Slaying.

"It would be extremely rare for an Arch Prince to actually show up for negotiations," Giles continued. "He would send a messenger to work out the details and accept the deal. Orcus himself is a Prince of Hell, a higher level demon actually."

"So we know since the Vice President showed up to broker the deal then it's actually with one of the Presidents?" Buffy asked, turning it into terminology she could relate to.

"Yes, the owner of the corporation is Satan," Giles nodded, pleased with his former Slayer. "The Presidents of the different companies are Arch Princes and the Vice Presidents are Princes."

"He's the Prince of the Undead and he has absolute authority over skeletons, zombies, shadow demons and vampires," Tara answered.

"So, why would the Prince of the Undead agree to a deal that would bring back the Vampire Slayer?" Buffy asked the question all three of them were pondering.

"If the child is half demon from the Prince of the Undead," Giles pondered. "I need to make some more phone calls."

"No secrets, everything up front," she demanded. "We're in this fix because everyone was keeping secrets and theories to themselves."

"Everything," he exclaimed. "I wanted you to grow up and be on your own and I'm still treating you like a teenager. I think there might be a prophecy or something about an anti-Slayer I need to call the Council about."

"Anti-Slayer?" Tara questioned and noticed Dorothy's face looking very troubled.

"Something on a smaller scale, actually," Giles said. "If I remember correctly. Let me make some phone calls, I'll be back in a few minutes."

Buffy frowned and played with the salt and pepper shakers while Tara and Dorothy appeared lost in thought.

"I'm not sure I can do this, Buffy," Tara said finally and the Slayer looked up into the witch's blue eyes.

"I understand that one," Buffy muttered. "Nine months of Rack trying to get to her."

"We have to stop him soon or he'll gather more dark and evil energy," Dorothy said firmly.

"How do we stop him?" Buffy complained. "I kick ass with hands and stake, not magic stuff."

"Well, one way is to wear him down magically until he has to reach out to his demons and devils for support," Dorothy explained. "When he can't deliver on his promises, then the demons might kill him or abandon him, leaving him weak enough to defeat."

"Enough, you two," Dorothy snapped. "The higher forces will decide what needs to be done when the time comes."

Three sets of eyes looked up expectantly as Giles walked back into the kitchen. He looked pale and Buffy whimpered.

"That is not a happy face," Buffy muttered. "That is not a face that is about to give good news."

"No, I'm afraid it isn't," he said softly. "I've asked Dawn to keep an eye on Willow while Xander and Anya come down and hear this."

Giles cleaned his glasses slowly and didn't glance up even when Xander and Anya entered and silently sat down at the breakfast bar.

"I was…uh, correct," he stammered. "There is an ancient gypsy prophecy that a powerful witch will bear the child that will destroy the Chosen One."

"That the child will have the powers of both parents, the blood lust and evil of the father and the magic of the mother with the power to walk in day. Nothing that frightens the Undead will cause him worry," Giles said, obviously quoting what he had heard from someone on the Council.

"If the child is half demon then it will protect itself while in the womb and once born…" Giles hesitated.

"Well, once born, it'll be unlike other half demons," Giles said slowly. He was so tired and worried about Willow that he wanted to cry. "We don't know how to kill the demon or what powers it's going to have. All we know is that he or she will be the mortal enemy of the Slayer."

Everyone's eyes focused on Giles as he cleaned his glasses. A tear escaped down his face and he wouldn't look up.

"The mother dies during childbirth," he said softly. "The Watcher scholar I talked to, a young chap, said something about some movie."

Tara's hand shot to her mouth, Buffy dashed out the back door and Anya thought Xander was going to be sick right in front of her.

Giles, not a Science Fiction movie fan, had never seen the movie but he had a pretty good idea that it meant something very horrible for his Willow. Given everyone's reactions, there was now no doubt about it.

Dorothy got to her feet. "I'll see to Buffy and protect her out there in case that rascal is out there."

"Thank you, Dorothy," Giles said softly. "Apparently, the pregnancy isn't as long as a normal human one, about four months and is very rough on the mother."

"What can we do?" Anya asked. "If Willow has this child then it'll be bad news for whatever Slayer is around when the child gets older."

"I don't care if we're talking Damian here!" Xander snapped. "We can't kill Willow!"

"No, we're not," Giles agreed. "We're going to do anything we can to break her deal with the demon and protect her."

"Better not think of hurting her," Spike grumbled. "She may have slipped a bit from your Knight in Shining Armor routine but she did it for Buffy."

"We need answers, we know the demon who arranged the pact is Orcus, Prince of the Undead," Giles told the vampire.

For the first time in years, Giles saw something in Spike's eyes that he never thought he would ever see: Fear.

"Yeah," Xander said calmly. "Prince of the Undead type guy, some kind of messenger for the head guy who made the deal with Willow."

"Fuck," Spike muttered. "What deal? You mean Rack's deal with the demons for Willow's soul and the child?" Spike asked.

Buffy and Dorothy came back in from outside. Everyone could see that both women had been crying, especially Buffy.

"No, Willow made a deal with an Arch Prince demon for my soul and body," Buffy said softly.

"She made a deal with her soul for you?" he whispered and everyone nodded. "With Orcus?"

"We know he was the messenger," Giles clarified. "And we think Rack set Willow up with a demon and she's carrying a half-demon child."

"Why?" Buffy frowned. She did not want to deal with Angel right now; her feelings were way too confusing as it was without dealing with her vampire ex-lover.

"He knows demons and he knows about Orcus," Spike explained. "Then I need to leave town."

"Orcus is the Prince of the Undead!" Spike snapped. "Hello, Slayer! Undead bloke here! If he shows up I'm either toast or his servant."

"Since I can't attack any of you, I wouldn't be much use to the beggar, would I?" Spike snapped, getting to his feet. "I figure I'd be a pile of ash if I got in the way."

"Alright," Giles said wearily. "Xander, can you do something about that window upstairs?"

"Good, take Anya with you," Giles suggested. "Buffy's right, I don't think anyone should be alone while Rack and Amy want Willow back."

Xander and Anya moved towards the garage to find boards to cover the broken window while Buffy and the others stared at their feet or hands.

"Alright," Giles said finally. "We have several things to focus on and I suggest we start with the immediate threat of Rack and Amy and getting Willow through the detoxing."

"Okay," Buffy said softly. "What will all this do to a baby if she is pregnant?"

"Well, it's not exactly listed among the recommended activities for a mother-to-be," Giles admitted sourly.

"Alright, let's call Angel and see if he and Wesley have any clues," Buffy suggested. "Spike, are you up to watching Willow for awhile?"

"Yeah, I'm good," Spike muttered, sliding back up the wall until he was standing. "Good choice, Slayer, I don't need to hear Peaches' voice."

"How could you sleep with him?" Xander demanded as he and Anya walked through the kitchen with boards, nails and hammers. Spikes boots echoed throughout the house as he tromped up the stairs towards Willow's room.

Buffy began to blush a bright red when Giles dropped his glasses and looked at her.

"Let's call Angel on the phone in the den, it's a speaker phone," Tara suggested.

Everyone moved into the small den area as Buffy frowned and entered the room last. It had been her mother's office area for the gallery and she hadn't been in much since her mother's unexpected death. She also wasn't thrilled about talking with Angel, especially when she was so confused over her feelings for Willow, Spike and Angel.

Giles looked at his watch and dialed the number to the office from memory, hoping that an agency run by a vampire would keep hours later than the typical 9-5.

"It's Giles and everyone, Cordelia," Giles said firmly, signaling the others to be quiet.

"Giles? I thought you were in England," Cordelia commented and they could almost hear her settling in. "Angel's downstairs, you want me to patch you through?"

A series of clicks and tones sounded and then Buffy closed her eyes when Angel's voice came through on the speaker.

The Scooby Gang heard him yelling at Cordelia to enter and then heard Wesley and Cordelia's voices in the background.

"I have you on speaker phone, Angel," Giles said. "We need information and it's urgent."

"Okay, hang on," a moment later the voice tone changed. "We're on speaker here too. What's wrong?"

"Willow?" Cordy's voice became very concerned and they could hear Angel and Wesley telling her to be quiet for a moment.

"She made a pact with an Arch Prince of Hell for the spell to bring Buffy's body and soul back," Giles explained. "Willow's been involved with some serious dark magick."

"We think the sorcerer may have set Willow up for a Rosemary Baby thing," Anya added in.

"Hang on, guys!" Angel yelled. They could hear the muttered voices of the men and the higher pitched one of Cordelia for a few moments and then Angel's focused one. "Sorry about that. Awhile back Cordelia was a victim of something similar and almost had a demon child."

"Yes, she hasn't said his name," Giles continued explaining. "Willow is detoxifying from the black magic and hasn't given us any information except that she exchanged her soul for the spell to bring Buffy back. The name of the messenger for the Arch Prince was Orcus."

"Orcus?" Angel's voice was almost whispered over the speakerphone. "Prince Orcus?"

"Yeah," Angel's voice sounded amazingly saddened and Buffy felt a panic beginning to build inside her.

"Why would an Arch Prince agree to bring a Slayer back to life?" Giles asked, throwing the question to Wesley and Angel.

"Wait a minute!" Buffy snapped. "You mean Orcus, Baal or whoever, set Willow up with Rack so she could get pregnant?"

"The sorcerer that Willow hooked up with and did some major black mojo," Xander explained. "He's the one that set her up to get pregnant with Bally's kid or something."

"We think Willow was hoping to figure a way out of her pact with the Prince," Dorothy added in.

"This is Dorothy, she's with the Watcher Council," Giles explained. "She's a witch and a nurse and is helping Willow with the detoxifying thing."

"I'm Angel, Wesley is a former Watcher and Cordelia is our partner. Gunn isn't here right now," Angel said on his end.

"How do we break the pact and save Willow's soul, keep her alive during a pregnancy with a demon child, protect her during the birth, and what to do with a child that is a half demon?" Wesley pondered aloud.

"I think it's worse than that," Giles said. "I think this might be the prophecy of the Anti-Slayer coming to pass."

"The gypsy prophecy," Angel commented. "The child of a powerful witch and a demon."

"Okay, let me think and make some calls, maybe visit a few demons down here," Angel suggested. "I'll get back to you before dawn."

"Not a problem, we'll figure it out," he said firmly and they heard a click and then dial tone.

"Hello, Slayer," Spike muttered when Buffy slowly walked into Willow's room. She was relieved to see Willow still sleeping soundly. "What'd Peaches have to say about this mess?"

"He'll get back to us," Buffy answered, her voice reflecting her distraction as she watched Willow's troubled face. She could sense Spike's irritation and ignored it and him as she walked across the room and sat on the bed next to Willow. Buffy gently brushed a lock of red hair off Willow's forehead.

"You've got it worse for her than Tara does, don't you?" Spike demanded, almost spitting the words out.

"I don't know," Buffy admitted. She turned on the bed to face him as he sat in a chair near the dresser. "Spike, I'm sorry. I do care about you but I don't love you."

"No, I can't," Buffy nodded, accepting it. "I couldn't turn to the one I was wanting and needing and I used you. Spike, you were the only one I could turn to with that energy, anger and desperation. I was so angry at Willow for bringing me back that I couldn't turn to her."

"Yes," Buffy admitted, a tear escaping her eyes. "You're incredibly sensual, attractive, and dangerous. And a vampire. I seem to have a weakness for good looking vampires."

"Well, I'm not sure if I should be flattered or insulted in all of that," Spike mumbled. "I'm a substitute but it's because I'm a sexy bugger?'

Tara sat down at the kitchen table with Giles and Dorothy, trying to fight back tears.

"How do we tell Buffy?" she asked softly, ignoring the banging from upstairs as Anya and Xander boarded up Willow's window.

"Yes, and he's on the same level as Lucifer, just one step down from Satan," Giles began explaining. "If he has a claim on Willow, not even the Pope could stand a chance of saving her soul."

"Not with Baal and Orcus," Giles muttered and jumped when the phone rang. Tara got up slowly and answered it. After a moment she handed the phone to Giles.

"Yes, thank you," Giles responded finally. "Yes, I've got that. Thank you, Angel. Yes, I'll let them know."

Tara hung up the phone and looked at Giles expectantly as he looked over his notes.

"What? Oh yes," he muttered. "There might actually be some hope. See, Angel thinks that Baal is playing Willow and Rack both for fools, which makes perfect sense if you know demons. If Baal's plan works, he gets all of them: Willow, Rack, Amy and the child. If things don't go right, he still will get someone and the child."

"There's no hope for the child, then?" Dorothy demanded. "I can't believe a child will be born to be evil."

"I assume he'll be a child at one point in his life before becoming powerful, like those movies," Giles commented. "This is the same on a smaller scale."

"Was Hitler evil to begin with or was it a combination of nature and nurture?" Tara muttered, pondering an old philosophy question. "If you could go back in time and kill Hitler as a child, before he became powerful, would you do it?"

"If you kill Hitler you might save millions of lives," Dorothy pondered. "Or you change history and they still all die under Stalin. Do we kill young Willow and her child based on what they might do in the future?"

"I've made some mistakes," he muttered, thinking aloud. "I shouldn't have left. I knew she was headed for trouble. Willow is like a daughter to me, all the kids are closer than any child could be. I couldn't kill her."

"Well, Rack thinks that he's extending his life and powers by promising Willow's soul and that of the child to Baal," Giles began explaining again. "The problem is that Willow's soul is already lost and the child is already Baal's to claim as his child and because Willow is his. Rack is selling property he doesn't have title to back to the original owner."

"Meaning that Rack will fail in his promise and because he can't fulfill his part of the deal, Baal gets to claim his soul for punishment," Dorothy reasoned. "Gotta hand it to those demons, they can be worse than lawyers."

"Yes," Giles nodded unhappily. "We can attack Rack and weaken him, forcing him to call on his demons for help. When he isn't able to produce Willow's soul, they'll probably turn against him and kill him. We can protect Willow from him that way but I don't know how to break her contract with Baal nor how to save her from this pregnancy."

"Well, we need to find out who the father is," Dorothy declared. "If it's that bastard Rack, he's mostly human and we can deal with that. If it is Baal or Orcus, we need to know that."

"Who do you call to figure out paternity of a demon? A witch doctor?" Tara asked sarcastically.

Giles raised his eyebrows in surprise. Tara usually wasn't one known for her aggressive behavior and demanding presence. He could see how tired and worried she was and he could also tell something was bothering her besides the demon stuff.

"Angel suggested Willy might have some answers as to who to call," Giles said softly. "What is it, Tara?"

"I'm not thinking too clearly, Giles," she admitted. "I've lost Willow on every level. If she comes out of this, Buffy is going to step in and I won't stand a chance. I've always known that Willow loves Buffy, I just didn't think it would hurt so much."

"Again, I say let's just get Willow through this and the three of you can figure out who is dating whom," Giles complained.

"Yeah," Tara nodded, feeling like she was going to lose again, like she always did in life.

Buffy woke up to green eyes watching her and it took the Slayer a moment to realize that she was lying in Willow's bed with the witch curled up in her arms.

"Hi?" Willow asked softly and Buffy pulled back with a frown as she realized that Willow had one arm out of the restraints.

"Hi," Buffy said cautiously, looking around for anyone else and the clock. The sun was up and it felt like she had slept several hours.

"I was tossing and turning in the middle of the night and someone unbuckled my arm so I could hold you," Willow explained. "I guess I fell asleep again."

"The clock says that it's 2 o'clock and I don't think it's the middle of the night. Looks like they let us sleep the day away," Buffy added, trying to restrain herself from nuzzling Willow's neck. Buffy sat up quickly to avoid the temptation and looked down at her friend.

Willow was still too pale and thin but her eyes were green, alert and it looked like she was coherent.

"How do you feel?" Buffy asked softly, unable to resist brushing a lock of hair from Willow's forehead.

"Like I've been through hell," Willow answered. "I don't think I can even stand up."

"Probably not, you've been going through some pretty rough stuff for a few days," Buffy agreed. "I need to find Giles or Miss Dorothy and let them know you're awake and yourself."

"Don't leave me, please," Willow begged, her eyes afraid. "I can hear Rack calling me. I don't want to be alone!"

"You can hear him?" Buffy asked, lying back down on the bed next to her Wills, letting Willow's head rest on her shoulder.

Buffy heard Willow's breaths quicken and opened her eyes, her face and lips only inches away from Willow's. The Slayer stood up quickly.

Moments later the entire Scooby Gang, including Spike and Dorothy were crowding into the room, trying not to hover over Willow but anxious to see her awake and aware.

"Several days, Wills," Buffy said gently, sitting on the edge of the bed, taking Willow's hand in hers, trying to reassure the obviously scared young woman.

"What's the last thing you remember, Willow?" Giles asked, sitting in a chair next to the bed. Willow looked around the room and began blushing when she spotted Tara next to Dawn near the door and frowned at the plywood nailed to the window.

"Not a lot since I messed up so bad and hurt Dawnie," Willow said softly, unable to meet Tara or Dawn's eyes. "I remember talking with Buffy and then everything hurt. Did I hurt anybody?" she asked, a tear escaping down her face as Giles unbuckled her other wrist.

"Well, you threw a lamp at me with your mind, young one," Dorothy commented but with a smile. "You probably don't remember me, I'm Dorothy."

"She's a nurse and a witch," Giles added. "She's been helping us keep you here and not in a hospital."

"The same time you threw the lamp, you tried to get out to Rack," Buffy answered, pulling Willow into her arms as Giles unbuckled Willow's feet restraints. "She says she hears him calling to her mentally."

"What happened to me?" Willow questioned, her eyes turning to Giles for answers and the Watcher felt his heart skip a beat with guilt.

"What happened is I was an idiot," Giles admitted in front of everyone. "I didn't question you about that spell that brought Buffy back, I kept my fears and suspicions about all of it to myself and left."

Giles reached out for Willow's other hand and sighed when she reached back for him without hesitation.

"No," Willow snapped. "I've obviously been the center of attention even if I didn't know it. I messed up bad and everyone knows it. Now tell me, please."

"You told us that you made a deal with an Arch Prince Demon for your soul in exchange for the spell and power to bring Buffy back," Giles began and Willow turned her eyes away. "We managed to get out of you that Prince Orcus was the messenger."

"Well, we found out some things that we need to talk about," Giles stammered, removing his glasses and beginning to clean them.

"You still want everyone in here, Wills?" Buffy asked softly, knowing they were going to have to bring up the possibility of Willow being pregnant and with what.

"Yeah, I guess I don't have any secrets," Willow muttered. "Shouldn't have had them to start with."

"I don't regret bringing you back, Buffy, no matter what the cost was," she said, tears flowing down her cheeks. "I should have left though when Tara left me."

"I'm glad you didn't," Buffy countered, wiping away her own tears. "I've been such a jerk the last couple of months, I'm sorry."

"Okay, what else is there? I'm addicted to magick, I give up and I'll go to Magick Anonymous or something," Willow asked, a little irritable as her energy began fading.

"Willow, let's go over this slowly," Giles suggested. "We know that Orcus serves Baal-beryth, is that who you made the deal with?"

"I can't!" Willow whispered, her eyes growing fearful. "That was part of the deal, if I talk then it's guaranteed my soul is his."

Tara approached the bed slowly. Willow looked up at her ex-girlfriend hopefully and broke into tears when Tara sat down beside Buffy and touched Willow's leg affectionately.

"Yes, it was Baal-beryth. The Arch Prince Demon over pacts, treaties and contracts," Willow whispered, closing her eyes.

"Oh my God," Giles whispered, closing his own for a moment. "Alright, we figured it was Baal from Orcus. Why would the Prince of the Undead and an Arch Prince agree to bring back the Slayer?"

"I…I don't know," Willow admitted. "Baal-beryth said something about waiting for centuries for me."

Willow opened her eyes reluctantly. "I don't know; it was like someone describing a drug trip. Never done drugs so I don't know if that's right but it was like totally weird. Energy was dancing everywhere, different colors and power…" Willow frowned. "I kinda woke up and dragged Dawn out of the there but I was still messed up."

"Wills," Buffy choked. "We think something horrible might have happened besides you having sex with Rack."

If she had the energy, everyone had no doubt Willow would have jumped up and ran away. As it was she wailed like a wounded animal and buried her face in Buffy's shoulders, beginning to weep hysterically.

"What could…be…worse…than that?" she stammered after a few minutes of Buffy rocking her and Tara moving into Giles' place, holding her from the other side at Buffy's encouragement.

"We think Rack promised Baal your soul, Amy's soul and another one in exchange for power and longer life," Giles explained. "We don't know how old he is. This is how he works."

"But my soul is already forfeit," Willow protested, reaching out to hold Tara's hand as she stayed in Buffy's arms.

"What other soul?" Willow asked. "What could be worse than sleeping with that sleeze?"

"We think Baal set you and Rack up, he plans on taking Rack's soul by tricking Rack into thinking your soul is free," Giles continued. "We think he further set you both up in…well…by…"

"Ever see Rosemary's Baby?" Anya jumped in. "Remarkable film, a little old though."

Willow screamed, her body arching off the bed and out of Buffy's arms. The Slayer shouted in fear as her friend fell back on the bed unconscious.

When Willow opened her eyes again, she was in Tara's arms and the witch was gently rocking her and singing softly.

Everything came rushing back to the battered red-head and she broke into tears and clung to her ex.

"Shhhh, it's okay, Willow," Tara said softly, crying along with her lover. She had left because Willow wasn't seeing how the magick was affecting her and everyone around her. Now Willow was paying more of a price than Tara could have ever imagined and she was hurting like hell for her ex-lover.

"I know, I know," Tara spent the rest of the evening in the familiar bed with Willow in her arms, finally sleeping more than just a few short hours.

The next morning, Buffy felt her heart crashing when she looked in on Willow. She found Tara and Willow sound asleep and wrapped in each other's arms.

"No, but shagging would be a nice distraction from all this angst stuff," Spike countered.

"Never say never, pet," Spike laughed, moving into Buffy's bedroom and throwing himself into a chair and tossing his jacket over his head to sleep during the day.

Buffy really wanted to hit him but decided she just didn't have the energy and turned to head down the stairs for breakfast when she saw Tara standing in Willow's doorway.

The two young women moved through the kitchen to the back porch, ignoring the questioning looks from Anya, Miss Dorothy and Giles as they drank coffee.

Buffy sat down heavily in the rocking chair her mother had loved when she was alive. Tara sat on the railing, looking at Buffy.

"Pistols at ten paces?" Tara joked and Buffy looked at the witch as if Tara had lost her mind.

"I-I suggest that we get Willow through this and see what happens," Tara said calmly. "I know Willow loves you, always has. I also know she loves me. I'll accept whatever she wants."

"Let's take her up something to eat, it's going to take some time before she can even walk again Dorothy says," Buffy suggested. "She's been in bed so long."

By the next day everyone settled into a routine and the three young women were tactfully ignoring the turbulent emotions going on between the three of them.

The mornings were spent with at least two of the gang helping Willow exercise, rebuilding her strength after the devastating effects of detoxifying from the black magick. The afternoons were spent on conference calls with either Angel or the Watcher's Council, trying to find a way to break Willow's pact with the Arch Demon Prince and keep Rack and Amy from getting their hands on her again.

Willow was never left alone at any time, especially when she reported to the group that she could hear Rack calling her psychically.

Everyone would take turns staying with her and sleeping in a chair next to her bed.

On the third day Willow, realizing that neither Buffy or Tara would spend any alone time with her, snapped and demanded that both of them to sit down with her.

Tara and Buffy sat on either side of the bed as Willow leaned against the headboard, exhausted from the morning routine and emotional crisis everyone was still going through.

"Okay, I need to know if either or both of you will ever forgive me for everything," Willow said softly, her green eyes no longer irritable, now they were frightened.

"Already done, Wills," Buffy said eagerly. "I know I was upset and didn't know how to deal with coming back to earth. I'm sorry I took it out on you and then ignored you, especially when things went a little crazy. I know you did it because you love me and was trying to save my soul."

"I still love you, Willow," Tara added. "I understand a little better why the black stuff grabbed you and I'm here."

"Then why won't either of you talk to me?" Willow demanded. "I know I really messed up. Now I'm pregnant with a demon child that's destined to destroy Slayers and I really need to know if I need to leave."

"I'm going to give birth to your ultimate enemy if the prophecy is right!" Willow snapped. "Something else I've done wrong to you, Buffy."

"I need to know if you're both doing all of this because we were once friends or lovers," Willow said bluntly. "If I'm endangering everyone because of a sense of duty, I need to leave."

"Where the hell would you go?" Buffy snapped back. "And we are so not doing this because of obligation or anything. We love you, Willow."

"You two won't even be alone with me!" Willow countered in a voice that bordered on whining. "I can go to England with Giles, the Watcher Council is working on my problems and would prefer to train me in my out-of-control witchcraft skills if I survive the pregnancy."

Buffy glanced over at Tara and saw the same unhappy expression that the Slayer knew she had.

"Wills, we haven't been alone with you…well, I guess we're playing fair with each other and you," Buffy tried to explain.

"We haven't wanted to push you about what your feelings for either of us might be," Tara said softly.

"Will, I know that you've been in love with Buffy for years," Tara continued. "I also know that you love me and we haven't wanted to add to the mess."

Willow's eyes sought out Buffy for more answers and the Slayer found herself blushing a bright red.

"This isn't how I wanted to tell you," Buffy complained. "It took almost losing you but I finally admitted to myself and Tara that I love you. I guess I always did."

Willow frowned, looking down at her hands as she thought about what they had said.

After a few moments the witch raised her head and looked at both Tara and Buffy.

"Yes, I love you both and I can't think right now," she muttered. "I do love you and that hurts so bad right now."

Willow's head dropped as she began crying again. Both Tara and Buffy were by her side instantly, each wrapping an arm around her shoulders. They glanced at each other and saw no animosity or anger, just understanding and acceptance of the situation as it was.

"How about this," Buffy began. "No more avoiding spending time with you but no pushing emotions or feelings. And no more talk about leaving us until we get you through this."

"I'm endangering everyone," Willow muttered, leaning into Buffy's shoulder but holding Tara's hands as Tara's head rested on her shoulder.

Rack finally gave up trying to reach Willow psychically and disappeared, confusing the gang and Willow.

A week passed and everyone began relaxing a little as Willow regained her strength and was able to easily move about. They still wouldn't leave her alone and she didn't mind after hearing how she had attacked Dorothy in an attempt to get back to Rack.

Even though Willow was back on her feet, Dorothy elected to stick around since there was still magickal danger and Giles was grateful for the extra knowledge and the others were grateful for the company and help with Willow's recovery.

Spike returned to his crypt and rarely dropped by now that Willow was out of immediate danger, apparently and as Buffy refused to have sex with him.

Dawn was overjoyed to have Tara back in the house and Willow back to more of her normal self.

The main difference in the house, besides Anya and Xander moving into the den, Giles moving into Joyce's bedroom and Dorothy dropping by everyday, was Willow's obvious pregnancy.

Just as the Council had suspected, it wasn't a normal pregnancy and Willow looked four months pregnant at just two weeks and she was getting larger as the child grew at an unnatural rate.

The second month was half over and Willow looked six months along with the child and was throwing up constantly and crying all the time.

Giles knocked softly and opened Willow's door slowly. He saw Willow lying on the bed with her back to the door and Tara sitting at the desk working on Willow's laptop.

That was one of the other changes, he reflected as he walked in slowly. Tara had taken over Willow's role in research, even on the laptop. Between Xander's surprising newfound computer skills and Tara's general knowledge, they were able to somewhat make up for Willow's reluctance to continue helping with the research. Willow explained that it was just too difficult to concentrate on it when it involved her, the pregnancy and her lost soul.

Tara looked up and saw Giles' serious expression and nodded slightly. She got up as he moved closer.

"She's down tonight, the baby is kicking and it's depressing her," Tara answered the usual question.

He nodded as she moved past him and out the door. Giles sat down slowly next to Willow, taking in her tear stained face and curled up body.

"Yeah," she answered. He was never sure how Willow was going to respond to anyone at times. There were long periods when she refused to talk, going deep inside herself and brooding worse than Angel ever thought of trying. "Giles, it's so hard. I'm going to have a child but it's not a child, it'll be a demon that wants to kill Buffy and any other Slayer. A child that wants to kill me just by being born."

"Your body and soul wants to be motherly and protect the child but everything else is against the child and you," he nodded.

"It's not going to be human! You know that! I don't want to be responsible for some future Slayer's death," Willow pleaded.

"Alright, I promise," Giles muttered. "We'll find a way to stop this, Willow. We have to."

"Giles, it was worth it if Buffy lives," Willow said softly and he gently brushed away a tear from her eyes.

"What are you going to do about both of them?" he asked, feeling more like a father than Buffy's Watcher.

"I truthfully don't know," she admitted. "I love them both and I can't sort it out. I don't want to face my death without either of them."

Giles didn't bother arguing that she wouldn't die, they both knew the argument was pointless. There was a very good chance that she would die when the child was born or when they faced Rack.

"I've been talking with Angel and the Council, everyone agrees that we should probably move against Rack well before your due date and force the battle to him," Giles suggested. "If we can eliminate one danger we can then focus on how to break your pact with Baal-beryth."

Buffy spun with stake in hand as a figure in black stepped out of the shadows, just beyond her sensing range. The Slayer relaxed only slightly as Spike stepped into the light.

Buffy knew what she looked like as she waited for the vampire to get closer. It had been a rough night taking on several demons and ten vampires. They had joined together and Buffy had barely got away after killing most of them but she had taken quite a few hits herself. Her hair was messed up, her clothing ripped and bloody, she had a black eye and a cut cheek.

"If he is smart, then the vampire will go down on his knee to me," a deep voice suggested and Buffy spun, stake up again.

At least Buffy thought that it must be a demon. Green skin, yellow eyes, slight horns where the temple hairline should be, and a huge body.

The Slayer dropped the stake and pulled out a sword instead. They were between her and the house, which meant they were between her and Willow.

"Get out of here!" she snapped, knowing that he probably couldn't help fight this demon.

She could tell he was about to argue with her and clamped his mouth shut as Orcus laughed heartily at them. Spike spun on his heels and ran for the shadows and nearest manhole cover.

Buffy swallowed, knowing she was already tired, beaten and she was about to take on a Prince of Hell, a powerful sorcerer and a powerful witch.

"I love you, Willow," she muttered. "I don't remember inviting someone green to my house," she quipped and faced the three.

Buffy's Slayer senses could hear movement inside along with frantic voices and hoped help was on the way. That was inuntil Orcus raised his hand and her front door became a solid wall and the windows turned into bricks.

"Even trading your soul for her?" Orcus asked. "You offered your soul for the world when you died, a perfect Slayer's death. Then you offered your soul for your sister when the demon Sweet wanted her. Would you do the same for Willow?"

"Listen, Orca whale demon," Buffy growled. "I know you're only the messenger boy and I'm not dealing with you. You take my soul and Willow dies when that demon rips itself out of her, no deal."

"I'll throw in Willow's life in the exchange," Orcus countered. "I will take the child without endangering her life for your soul and life."

"You'd get the Anti-Slayer to raise and my soul to throw at future Slayers, right? That was the point of this whole mess with Willow, right?"

Buffy wondered if he was beginning to realize there might be more to his deal with Orcus for more power by offering Willow's soul.

"No deal. Not even for Willow can I risk every Slayer after me," Buffy snapped, a tear escaping down her cheek.

"Ready to come back to us, Willow?" Rack smirked as Willow blushed. "I'm sure wouldn't mind another couple of hot nights with you, pregnant or not. I know Baal wouldn't mind that either."

"No, that's what they want," Willow snapped. "Stay with me, please. They don't dare attack me for fear of hurting the demon I'm carrying. They hope that killing you in front of me will break me."

"It would work too, you know," Willow said absently, watching the demon and witches closely. "I would be lost without you or Tara."

"How can you handle a demon Prince, Rack and Amy by yourself?" Buffy demanded as the three enemies raised their hands, preparing to attack.

All three of the chaos workers looked down and Buffy looked over Willow's shoulders, making out a triangle painted on the boards of her porch.

Orcus roared and tried to move but Willow snapped her hands up and a bolt of energy shot out, hitting Rack in the center of the chest. Amy screamed as another bolt of energy hit her from the side and another one hit Orcus from the other side.

Rack dragged Amy to her feet and they stumbled down the porch stairs and down the street.

"We should kill them," Buffy growled and then squeaked as Willow collapsed in her arms. Dorothy and Tara rushed over as Giles, Xander and Anya stormed out the door, everything having returned to normal.

They could see Willow was barely conscious and her nose was bleeding in a steady flow.

Buffy started to protest but nodded after a moment, admitting she was worse for wear.

Xander grabbed Willow under her arms and Giles grabbed her feet as Tara and Dorothy kept an eye out for Rack and Amy.

Willow was groggy but the bloody nose had stopped by the time they got her upstairs to her room.

Tara nodded and moved behind Willow, wrapping her arms around Willow as the red-head mumbled, drifting off into sleep.

Buffy and the others gathered around the table as Dorothy sealed the house again.

"What happened to Spike?" Xander asked. "He was supposed to be keeping a watch on things outside."

"Orcus showed up and threatened him," Buffy explained. "I told him to get out. So what happened out there?"

"We thought those three might show up, dark moon," Giles began explaining as Dorothy walked in and sat down, reaching for the coffee pot. "Dorothy had Xander paint a holding triangle and we charged it. We figured he'd make a grand entrance through the front door or at it."

"To keep Dawn safe, we took the fight outside when we realized they were between you and the house," Xander added. "Tara, Dorothy and Willow formed a triangle of magick and Orcus was trapped in the holding triangle. It's designed by ceremonial magicians to hold demons when they appear on this realm and to protect the caster."

"Willow used magick and you all let her?" Buffy demanded with a frown. "I thought an addict couldn't do that."

"It's very dangerous but she was right, they didn't dare harm her and we were able to get the drop on them with her distracting them," Dorothy explained. "They won't fall for that again, children."

"Yeah," Buffy said unhappily. "They'll come after her again, let them take her, track them down and take them out."

Giles stood up and began pacing the kitchen, cleaning his glasses as he walked, thinking. He finally stopped and frowned.

"We can track her without them knowing it," she nodded. "You said that this Rack keeps his place shielded. Might be the only way to get to him."

"Alright," Giles said slowly. "Only if Tara and Willow agree. If anyone has any doubts, it's off. This is one fight where we can't go in half cocked or with any fear."

"That's for certain, children," Dorothy nodded. "Any doubts in your heart that we can't defeat Rack or Orcus and they'll have you."

"Giles, can you talk to Willow and Tara about this? I'm not sure I can send Willow back to that bastard and I'm the one that thought of it," Buffy asked.

"It's okay, Tara, we need to do this," Willow said gently. "Rack's threat has to end."

"Yes," Willow agreed, not even arguing that the situation was hopeless anymore, knowing that Tara and the others wouldn't give up on her.

"Then let's work out the details, shall we?" Giles suggested as Willow stood up slowly, Tara by her side, watching for any sign of weakness after the magickal use.

"I'm okay," Willow muttered. "Just a little light-headed from the bloody nose, I think."

"If you feel any of the cravings getting painful or too much to handle emotionally, you tell us immediately!" Giles instructed and Willow nodded wearily.

The two sat down at the dining table with the rest of the Gang, minus Spike. Willow intentionally sat down between Tara and Buffy. She was finding it difficult to keep juggling time with both of them and wondered how anyone with multiple dating partners ever arranged it.

"How do we do this so they believe it?" Xander asked as Anya leaned into his arms.

"Anya!" Buffy shouted, along with Tara, Giles, Willow and Dorothy. Dawn merely glared and Xander winced.

"What? They won't hurt the girl, they'll believe it and take Willow," Anya explained.

Buffy shook her head. "No, don't like this! It's bad enough letting Willow go. I'm not going to risk you getting hurt or in that bastard's hands."

Buffy looked around and noticed no one wanted to meet her eyes except Willow and Dawn.

"Okay, where and when?" Buffy muttered, knowing she had lost the fight, possibly her sister and the woman she loved if something went wrong.

Giles kept a hand on Buffy's shoulder as they watched Tara, Dawn and Willow exit the movie theater. He knew she would react instinctively and didn't want that this time.

The Watcher's jaw tightened as he thought of the other precautions surrounding them. Dorothy was near the alley where the trio would pass by, her magick prepared to protect Tara and Dawn at any price if Rack decided he wanted to take them as well as Willow or sought to hurt them.

The most radical was Xander and Anya on a nearby roof. Giles wondered how he was ever going to explain things if Xander was forced to act and actually fire the rifle he was waiting with. The young man understood that his was the last line of defense, only to be used if everyone else failed and either of the three were in serious danger. Xander was to shoot Rack and Amy and hope the police never found him.

That was something Giles didn't want to think about. Both he and Buffy could face charges from the Watcher's Council if Xander acted. Serious charges that might even lead to a prison term or death for willingly taking a human life, no matter what the reason.

The three girls looked around as if realizing what time it was and how dark it had gotten in the movie. They had intentionally chosen a very long film and were now acting as if they hadn't realized how long they had been inside.

Willow grabbed Dawn's hand and Tara the other as they began to move quickly away from the center of town.

Just as expected, Rack and Amy stepped out of the alley, both grinning viciously.

Buffy couldn't hear but Willow shouted, Dawn screamed, and Tara fell immediately to an energy bolt from Amy. Willow raised her hands and threw a bolt at Amy instead of focusing on the more important danger of Rack, just as planned.

Buffy whimpered and felt Giles holding her back as Rack rushed forward, backhanding Willow into a wall. Dawn was kneeling by Tara as Willow shook her head and zapped a bolt at Rack when he reached for her.

The Slayer growled, Willow was either playing it well or actually fighting back. Giles continued to hold Buffy back.

"I know, I know," he said miserably as Rack shouted and hit Willow hard, connecting at the witch's temple. Willow dropped like a rock to the asphalt.

Dawn tried to shield Tara as Rack stood over them and turned away after a moment. He helped Amy to her feet as the young witch shook her head. He bent over and pulled Willow up into his arms and the two disappeared with their captive into the shadows of the alley.

Buffy rushed forward to pull Dawn into her arms as Giles helped a groggy Tara to her feet. Dorothy joined them from across the alley way.

"Can you see Willow's trail?" Buffy demanded, holding Dawn as she broke into tears.

"She's right," Tara nodded. "We were really scared and Willow wasn't acting either."

"How so?" Giles asked as they began walking along the alley, slowly so Xander and Anya could catch up with them.

"It was like his face was shifting or melting at times," Tara tried to describe.

"Could be that Rack has gone too long and needs a demon boost," Dorothy commented and the Watcher nodded.

"Yes, he needs Willow's soul and the child so he can gain power and longevity again," Giles added.

"And Baal-bad breath is laughing his ass off because Rack can't deliver on either soul," Buffy growled.

"Exactly, just perfect for a demon, especially an Arch Prince," Giles agreed. "Rack will be left hanging and Baal-beryth will probably kill him."

"He won't dare touch her, Buffy," Dorothy said gently. "She's now considered Baal's property and Rack won't touch her sexually."

"Oh God," Buffy muttered, reaching out and holding Tara's hand, both seeking comfort.

"We need to wait until they believe they weren't followed," Giles added, reminding the Slayer of their plan.

"Just keep reminding us, Giles," Tara snapped. "You didn't see how scared she was up close."

Willow raised her head slowly. Everything hurt, including whatever she was carrying in her womb. She winced as the demon child kicked her.

"I so hate being kidnapped," she muttered, her breathing quickening as she took in the fact that she was somewhere surrounded by stone walls, lying on something cold and hard with feet and wrists chained.

Under a tapestry of a large Baphomet on black, was an altar draped in black silk with several items that Willow couldn't quite make out from her angle. She knew what was there, though from experience. Chalice, candles, incense, dagger and maybe even a sword.

Willow had expected to be taken somewhere and held for a few days until she was further along with the demon child. She didn't expect to be the center of attention in a black magick ritual.

Black candles filled the dank room and the witch could make out black cloth covering the walls in most places, most with obscure magical symbols and sigils. There was no sign of Amy, Rack or Orcus.

Willow wondered how long she had been unconscious and if her friends were nearby. She didn't dare reach out psychically for them, she could only hope they were there.

Willow heard a door creaking open and glanced upside down and frowned at the sight of Rack and Amy, both in black robes, walking into the room.

"You know, if you hadn't fought the other night, Orcus would have taken the kid, left you alive and you could have lived forever," Rack sighed, as if sorry about the turn of events.

"What are you talking about? How could I live forever, you intend to corrupt me and give my soul to Orcus," Willow snapped, seeing a slight frown cross Amy's face.

"No, that was never my plan, Strawberry," Rack grinned. "I was going to show you how I work it. Gaining souls for the demons, in exchange they extend your life indefinitely and give you power."

"Of course not," he said easily and Willow knew he was lying. She wondered if Amy realized it or not.

"Basically! Orcus said that Baal-Beryth had specific demands and that was a powerful female witch," Rack explained. "When they heard I had contact with a friend of the Slayer's they were delighted and promised me over a hundred years this time."

"Lord Baal and Orcus have decided that it's too risky to let you stay with the Slayer and the others," Rack frowned. "The Watchers just might decide that you're better off dead with the kid. You get to see Lord Baal again, Strawberry."

"This time you won't be out of it," Rack smirked. "Of course, you won't live long once you do. Then you get to spend eternity with him."

Willow no longer had any witty comebacks or even miserable ones; she was terrified into silence.

The red-haired witch closed her eyes as Amy and Rack moved to go through the complicated ritual of summoning an Arch Prince of Hell.

Xander lifted Buffy onto his shoulders, where she was able to grab the fire escape ladder and pull it down. She quickly scampered up the metal rungs with Xander right behind her.

Giles and Dorothy picked the lock of the old abandoned church and were waiting at the front door for the signal to break in and join the ruckus.

Tara and Anya were waiting by a window on a crate, metal bar in Anya's hand to break the window and iron knife in Tara's belt.

Xander and Buffy moved in through the roof access to the balcony where choir members once sang religious songs to the Christian God. Now the altar had Willow chained to it and had already witnessed multiple acts of sacrilege from Rack taking over the old building. Xander stayed behind in the balcony with rifle in hand as Buffy started down towards the main chamber.

Buffy moved quietly as a cat, peaked around the corner of the vestry and bit her lip to keep from crying out in fear and anger.

Before the place had been a little smoky from all the candles but now there was a discernable fog hovering over the altar, a black fog that moved slowly down towards Willow.

Buffy saw her friend watching the cloud with an absolute look of terror. Just as the fog began to cover her, Willow screamed a piercing scream that chilled all of the Scooby Gang to their bones.

Willow screamed again as a form began to take shape in the fog; a tall and huge figure in a black cloak. The only thing showing, a gray, corpse-looking hand with exceptionally long fingernails, was reaching for the witch.

Willow saw red eyes looking at her from deep within the cloak hood and a flash of memory broke through of the night she spent with Rack. She knew those eyes. Those eyes meant pain and coldness, cold that had filled her from the inside.

The rifle shot caught Amy in the shoulder, if she hadn't been turning when Xander fired, it would have been through the heart. The girl dropped, barely conscious, but still able to hold her shoulder.

Buffy's stake caught Rack in the center of the chest, sending him stumbling back several feet.

Glass crashed in along with the sound of the main door being slammed open. Before Rack could recover, Dorothy and Tara were zapping him with magickal bolts. Rack growled as he was slammed into the wall and flung his hands out, sending the energy back towards the two witches. Tara ducked and sent the energy back at the sorcerer, smiling grimly as they hit him in the stomach.

Buffy dashed for the black fog surrounding Willow but was slammed onto her back by an invisible force.

The Slayer was barely aware of the sound of Xander shooting at Rack. She glanced over and saw the sorcerer had regained his feet and was shielding himself from both bullets and energy blasts. He was weakening with the stake wound and the constant barrage of two different attacks.

Buffy felt Giles rush up beside her with an iron knife in his hands. He reached a hand down to help her up and froze as the fog dissipated enough to see Willow.

A skeletal hand reached out from a black cloak as Willow struggled in the chains, screaming in terror. Her green eyes found Buffy's blue ones.

"Tara, Dorothy! Someone help her!" Buffy screamed but knew neither one of them dared break off what they were doing. If Rack was able to get any shots in with his energy bolts, it just might turn the battle out of their favor. If Dorothy stopped her spell, they might not be able to force Orcus or Baal-beryth to leave the realm without killing all of them.

Giles and Buffy watched helplessly as Giles tried to remember some of the incantations from his own magickal days. The skeletal hand spread over Willow's pregnant stomach and then a finger with an extended claw cut away the girl's shirt and sweat pants.

Willow's screams took on a new note of desperation as the claw began moving past the cloth.

"Orcus, help me!" Rack screamed, as he had to lean against the wall for support. He knew Baal had the witch but her friends just might cause Rack enough damage to be worrisome.

Tara and Xander stopped in their attacks as Orcus appeared next to Rack and looked the sorcerer up and down, as if judging the appearance of a brood mare.

"MiLord, Prince Orcus, help me! I am your faithful servant and I kept my end of our bargain!" Rack begged.

"The child is being taken by Lord Baal and Willow will die, her soul lost to Baal for giving into the temptation of black magick with me," Rack argued.

Orcus shook his head, as if sad to inform someone of bad news. Giles growled, he knew Orcus was enjoying what was to come next.

The figure was once again wrapped in black fog and Buffy screamed, unable to see what was happening to Willow.

"Well, there's a slight problem with you corrupting Red Willow and the whole child thing," Orcus said slowly.

"I'm afraid so," Orcus continued. "You see, a few months back the Slayer died saving the world. To get her back, Red Willow made a deal with someone for a spell. The deal was with MiLord Baal-beryth and it was an exchange, her soul for the Slayer's body and soul."

"The child was an added benefit," Orcus added, ignoring Rack's protest. "You see, Willow was already his. Sold her soul to Baal before you even met her. You can't claim the child either since Willow was already his and the child is his, so you have nothing to do with it except that you set up the blind date."

"No, you haven't," Orcus argued. "You're just like every other black sorcerer, only in it for power and long life, hoping to trick us demons and outsmart us, living forever. You only bring souls to us to keep the game going."

Orcus looked bored and motioned with his hands. Rack screamed as his body was slammed up against the Baphomet tapestry. Nails appeared out of nowhere, impaling him to the wall through his wrists and ankles. The sorcerer screamed in agony.

Orcus turned to look at the Scooby Gang. "Well, we really hate to slay and run but time is wasting."

The demon raised a taloned hand towards Buffy, the energy bolt building far beyond anything Rack or Tara had been capable of. The Slayer doubted she could dodge whatever he was about to throw at them.

Anya rushed forward with an iron knife at the figures, only to be tossed backwards. The gang made out the figures of Spike somehow fighting with Orcus.

Buffy moved around the fog, picking up the iron dagger from Anya as she moved to help Spike.

The Slayer yelped as Spike crashed into her, as he was picked up and tossed aside with the ease of a rag doll. Before she or the vampire could move, Orcus was on them and had Buffy in the air, his hand around her throat.

Buffy clawed uselessly at the scaly hand of the demon as he began to squeeze. As her eyesight began going fuzzy she wondered what happened to her iron dagger.

Giles stumbled back in surprise as Spike grabbed the iron dagger from his hand as the ex-Watcher moved to help Buffy. The vampire had Buffy's iron dagger in his other hand and dived into the demon, forcing Orcus to drop the Slayer.

Buffy sat up, choking and coughing. She saw Spike straddle the demon and ram both daggers into Orcus' chest.

Spike managed to glance back at her for a moment, a mixture of sadness and love in his eyes, before both vampire and demon burst into flames.

"No!" the Slayer screamed and Giles rushed forward but they both knew it was too late. In a moment there was nothing but ashes.

Giles and Buffy turned to see Tara and Dorothy trying to break through the black fog surrounding Willow and moved closer, Anya joining them.

Xander came pounding down the stairs, shouting angrily for someone to do something to help Willow when the fog suddenly disappeared.

The cloaked figure turned and laughed a bone chilling laugh as he held something to his chest.

"The child lives and is mine!" a hoarse voice cackled. "The witch is mine in moments!"

"Oh my God, he removed the child and left Willow to bleed to death!" Giles muttered.

"Xander, get my medical bag out of the car," Dorothy instructed. "Giles, dial 911. Tara, start working up that spell you told me about, quick!"

Xander returned at record speed and Dorothy quickly began trying to repair the damage a brutal cesarean birth had caused to Willow's body. Everyone had the fear and certainty that she was fighting a losing battle.

"There isn't enough blood to keep the body going," Dorothy muttered. "She's lost too much. Oh dear sweet Jesus! Tara, now!"

Buffy blinked as Tara moved past her, chanting something and holding a crystal orb in her hands.

"Tara just caught Willow's soul in the orb," Anya explained calmly. "She caught it before Baal could claim it."

"So what does that mean?" Xander demanded as Buffy leaned against a wall, sliding down in emotional shock.

"It means that Willow's soul is trapped in the orb and safe from Baal-beryth but trapped," Giles tried to explain.

"It's the only way to keep her soul safe until we break that pact she has with Baal-beryth and her soul can move onto a peaceful ending," Giles explained.

"No, it can't end this way!" Amy protested, grabbing up one of the iron daggers from the pile of ashes next to Buffy.

The injured witch stumbled near Willow and Tara, who out of reflex, reached to help Amy stand. The other witch growled and grabbed the glowing orb from Tara's hands and held it up, threateningly.

"Don't do that!" Dorothy screamed. "If you drop that then her soul is loose and Baal will claim it!"

"Then stay back!" Amy yelled. She leaned over Willow's body, looking down at her high school friend. "You all saved me from my mother and then took care of me when I was a rat. I was wrong about Rack and the magick and I'm so sorry. Maybe I can do the right thing."

Tara screamed as Amy threw the orb to the ground and stabbed herself through the heart with the iron knife at the same moment.

Buffy was on her feet, catching Amy before she fell over Willow. She gently lowered Amy to the floor and checked for a pulse as Giles examined the crystal that had held Willow's forsaken soul.

Both Slayer and Watcher looked at each other and shook their heads in negative motions. Neither Amy nor orb survived.

Buffy felt her heart shattering as it began to hit her that Willow was dead and her soul was lost.

Tara squeaked in surprise and Anya screamed when Willow coughed beside them and moaned in pain.

"Someone want to unchain me and take me home now?" she whispered, closing her eyes.

"She's right," Dorothy said, regaining her common sense before the stunned Scooby Gang. "There's a guy crucified to a church wall and a dead young woman at the foot of a black altar. I suggest we get out of here."

"Xander, put Willow over your shoulder and let's move," Buffy instructed as she took the ritual sword and pried the locks on the chains open.

Buffy hesitated on her way out the back, glancing down at where she had last seen Spike.

When Willow opened her eyes again, she found everyone around her. This time they were on the edge of her bed, in chairs, or leaning against walls.

"Wills!" Buffy shouted enthusiastically, taking one side while Tara took the other to wrap Willow in a hug from both of them.

Willow's smile faded and she suddenly looked very small and young. "I remember Baal's eyes and that hand reaching for me. Then it hurt, a lot."

Willow closed her eyes and fought against being sick or fainting. Buffy and Tara held her close, trying to comfort her.

"Amy took the orb with your soul and smashed it and killed herself, trading herself for you," Anya explained in her typical factual but lacking of sympathy manner.

"Yes, yes, and yes," Buffy answered. "Tara caught your soul and we were going to protect it until we found some answers. Amy decided that she had been wrong and traded places with you."

"I know, it was her choice however," Giles pointed out. "She obviously felt that this was a way to redeem herself, even if her soul was going to Baal."

"Her life force healed me?" Willow questioned, pulling the sheet down and her pajama top aside to look at the angry red scar running down her stomach.

"Yes and no," Buffy growled. "He was alive but there was nobody home in the eyes, you know?"

"Can I talk with you two?" Willow whispered to Tara and Buffy and both nodded and watched as everyone headed for the door. Dawn hesitated at the door, watching her favorite witches and sister.

"I'm glad you're back, Willow," she said softly and closed the door before any of them could respond.

"Listen, you two," Willow began. "I'm declaring a truce for a little while longer. I love you both and I have no idea what to do with my life from this point on. I was convinced I was going to die."

"Well, I'm glad you're not and you can take all the time you need about everything," Buffy tried to reassure her best friend and potential lover.

"Okay, I want to spend time with both of you, get my feet back under me and rest," Willow said firmly. "I'm very tired, I guess dying takes a bit out of you."

"Don't go," Willow whispered and neither one of them knew which one she was talking to.

Xander wasn't surprised to find both Tara and Buffy with their arms around Willow in the morning when he called them for breakfast.

Willow woke up when Xander opened the door and held her finger to her lips, indicating they should let Buffy and Tara sleep. She wiggled off the bed and stood before her oldest friend in the world. Her eyes reflected her fear of his judgment.

"What are you going to do, Wills?" he asked as they closed the door behind them.

"I really don't know," Willow admitted. "I need to find a way to get a handle on the magic thing. The addiction is still there and so is the talent."

"What about Buffy and Tara?" he asked. Willow spotted Anya sleeping on the sofa and Giles asleep in a chair.

"I don't know," Willow said slowly. "I love them both but I can't even concentrate on that right now. There's an Anti-Slayer growing up with an Arch Prince of Hell and I'm responsible for that. I've got to find a way to fix that."

"So am I," Giles muttered from the doorway. "Let's take a walk, shall we? The tea Buffy keeps here is horrible. I suggest that coffee place you like so much."

The three settled at a table at the Espresso Pump, Xander with a double mocha, Willow with hot chocolate and Giles with an English Breakfast/Russian tea blend that he said would wake up a vampire at sunrise.

"I suggest that she get some intensive training for her rogue magic skills," Giles said slowly.

"I agree," Willow nodded, consenting. "Where can I find that? The covens around here aren't on mine or Tara's level and I don't think she can handle me."

"I agree, I think Sunnydale and the Hellmouth keeps serious witches from developing here as a form of protection," Giles commented thoughtfully. "The black magic develops easily here but not positive magic. That's why most of your spells went wrong until you teamed up with Tara. You balance each other."

"Well, there are some good covens and masters in San Francisco, Los Angeles and across the United States," Giles said, ignoring Xander's distress. "And then there's the witches that have been trained by the Council. Some of them are now Watchers."

"Well, SF or LA isn't that far away," Xander muttered. "We could visit on weekends or you could come home for visits."

"Yes, that would work," Willow said, her manner distracted and Giles' eyes narrowed in thought.

The next few days moved slowly for the Scooby Gang as they said goodbye to Dorothy. After two days of staying near Willow, the old woman announced that she figured Willow had enough sense not to get into danger without some backup from Tara and that her job was done.

Major hugs, some tears and promises to keep in touch followed the old woman out of the Summers house and some of the tears were on Dorothy's side. She said a quick prayer for the health and safety of the young ones.

The day after Dorothy left, Xander and Anya moved back into their apartment and Buffy finally told Willow about Spike's sacrifice and made the dreaded call to Angel in Los Angeles.

"Spike did it to save you, Buff," Willow said softly, holding her best friend and possible love.

"I shouldn't have been with him, Wills," Buffy continued to cry. "I was so angry and couldn't turn to you. I could take it out on Spike."

"In a way it was more fighting," Buffy frowned, trying to sort it out herself. "It wasn't love, Wills, it was sex. It meant even less than when I was with Riley."

"I love you, finally admitted it," Buffy said more firmly, snuggling into Willow's arms. "I couldn't take that you were the one I was angry at and resenting and I turned to Spike instead of talking to you. Of course, you were with Tara and I guess I was keeping my distance because of that too."

"Will, I…I want to be with you. I love you and I want to be your lover, more than anything," Buffy said slowly. "I'm willing to be your best friend if you still love Tara, I just had to say that."

"I've wanted you for years, Buffy," Willow admitted. "The timing was never right once I figured out and accepted I had feelings for you. By then you were with Angel and I was with Oz. When I wasn't with Oz, you were with Riley."

"Yes," Willow nodded. "She's not a substitute for you or second choice, Buffy. I need you to understand that. I love her very much. She helped me sort out these insane feelings and made everything okay. It feels like she's my sun."

"Slayer danger babe," Willow teased lightly. "Should I tell you that the thought of your body next to mine has sent me running to cold showers for years?"

"What feels right for tonight," Willow suggested, leaning down to kiss Buffy seriously for the first time.

Buffy moaned and wrapped her hand around Willow's neck, pulling the witch closer to her. The kiss was everything Buffy and Willow had been hoping for and more. The Slayer felt Willow shifting on the bed, to lay closer to her and shifted her own body, melding into Willow's. Hands and legs intertwined as lips explored and tongues dueled with each other.

Buffy had no idea how long they kissed and necked, it seemed like a very short time but her muscles told the Slayer they hadn't moved in awhile. Buffy pulled back and leaned her forehead against Willow's, her hand roaming through red hair as Willow touched her cheek gently.

"I don't know," Willow admitted. "I might be with Tara, I might not be with either of you."

Willow suddenly pulled out of Buffy's arms and sat up on the edge of the bed, her back to the Slayer.

"I'm sorry, Buffy," she said softly, wiping away a tear angrily. "This isn't fair to either of you. I'm acting worse than some college guy keeping several girls going at once."

Buffy sat up and moved behind Willow, wrapping her arms around Willow's shoulders, hugging the witch.

"I understand the confused feelings," Buffy said gently, nuzzling Willow's neck.

Willow moaned and gripped the edge of the bed, trying to hold back from the sudden heat filling her body.

"I don't know if I can share you with Tara but I want tonight, Wills," Buffy continued nibbling on Willow's neck, moving up to an ear lobe and then switching to the other side of her neck and ear.

"Oh Goddess, Buffy," Willow whimpered and Buffy's hands moved down from Willow's shoulders to lightly touch her best friend's breasts, dancing over the nipples.

Willow growled and held up a hand for a moment and Buffy heard the door lock clicking into place and Willow turned in Buffy's arms.

Buffy smiled as Willow forced her onto the bed, Willow's teeth at her neck and hands tugging impatiently at clothing. The blonde had always been reluctant to give over control to anyone but had with Angel and Riley, trying to compensate for her Slayer strength, she knew. And with Angel she had been scared and a virgin.

With Spike it had always been more of a contest of who could take control, keep it and force the other one to release first.

It was different with Willow, Buffy felt herself giving up control easily, loving the desperation in Willow's touch and whimpers.

Buffy cried out and felt her body arching as Willow got her blouse undone and sought to explore Buffy from head to stomach with her tongue, lips and teeth.

Willow smiled up at her from Buffy's waistband, her green eyes dark and heavy with desire.

Buffy's heart sang at the sight. It was the first real genuine smile she had seen from her friend since before her death and resurrection.

Then Willow's eyes glinted with an impish light and she ran her fingers up between Buffy's legs, running them under Buffy's skirt and over very damp underwear.

"Oh you are so in trouble," Buffy threatened but any beginning plan she was thinking of was forgotten as Willow's fingers moved past the underwear to dance over Buffy's labia and clit.

"Really? I am?" Willow asked innocently as Buffy grabbed at the sheet under her.

Willow felt a peace settling over her as Buffy leaned up and pulled at Willow's t-shirt and then raised her hips so Willow could remove her skirt and underwear. Willow's sweat pants followed the clothes to the floor and they moaned, as Willow lay on top of Buffy, skin to skin.

The witch was calmer and kissed her best friend and lover gently as Buffy moved a leg up between hers, instinctively pressing against Willow's sex. Willow felt the passion rising again as Buffy moaned, her tongue fighting with Willow's, the Slayer's hands clinging to her.

Willow's lips and teeth moved to Buffy's neck and the Slayer cried out as Willow found a particularly erotic spot.

Willow felt her own control snapping again and moved her hand between their bodies, fingers discovering that Buffy was indeed very turned on because of her. Willow moved slightly off Buffy, giving herself room to please her lover as Buffy held her to the Slayer's neck.

Part of Willow was surprised and pleased, Buffy never let anyone mark her or get near her neck. Buffy explained to lovers and friends that her neck wasn't erotic, thank you, and that so reminded her of vampires that it was a turn off. Apparently it wasn't a turn off if it was Willow's teeth at her neck.

Willow felt Buffy's body jerk as her fingers danced at Buffy's entrance, silently begging as Buffy whined. Willow entered Buffy and the Slayer cried out and thrust against Willow's fingers.

Buffy knew it was happening quickly but her body seemed to have a mind of its own. She had wanted Willow for years and the body wanted it now!

Willow added another finger and bit harder, feeling Buffy jerk against her, matching Willow's rhythm perfectly.

"Anything for you," Willow whispered before crushing her lips against Buffy's and adding another finger into her lover. Buffy's fingernails dug into Willow's shoulders as Willow thrust harder.

Willow moved her thumb to caress Buffy's clit and moved to bite down on Buffy's neck again, hard. She wasn't sure if she was hurting Buffy or not but the responses from the Slayer as she thrust roughly into Buffy was positive.

Willow moaned as she felt Buffy's muscles contracting around her fingers, clamping down and claiming them inside her. Buffy's body arched, throwing Willow away from her neck. The red haired witch switched to Buffy's breast, taking the nipple in between her teeth and pulling lightly.

Buffy screamed as she grabbed the headboard of Willow's bed as if it were a life-line. She screamed again as Willow didn't let up, pulling two more orgasms out of her before Buffy whimpered and Willow pulled her lover into her arms.

Buffy opened her eyes to find Willow holding her and gently rocking her. Green eyes smiled down at blue ones.

"Well, my neck tells me you marked me as yours," Buffy grinned. "Other than that, I've never felt like this. Sometimes it's gotta be a little rough. I tried asking Giles about the Slayer lust thing."

"That was one thing that was so wrong between Riley and me," Buffy nodded. "He was so used to regular girls and was afraid of hurting me and I was afraid to demand what I needed."

"I'm honored you asked," Willow smiled, kissing Buffy for several long minutes. "I was pretty demanding there, myself."

"I like it," Buffy admitted. "Now, my love, I'm going to show you how gentle I can be. I warn you, though, I've never done this…so…"

"You and Faith never?" Willow asked something that had been bothering her for years.

"No, we necked a couple of times after rough nights of slaying, but never got beyond touching the breasts," Buffy admitted, blushing.

"She more than hinted that you two got horizontal more than once," Willow frowned.

"That bitch, she knew how to push everyone's buttons, didn't she?" Buffy growled.

"Yeah, it was as if she knew I wanted you and teased me all the time about sparring and training with her, having your body in her arms," Willow admitted. "How slaying always made her horny and hungry and that you were just like her."

"I remember you being so jealous of her, I thought it was just because I was spending more time with her and not you," Buffy commented.

"That was a big part of it," Willow agreed. "I was also beginning to wonder about my feelings."

"I love you, Willow," Buffy said softly, moving up on an elbow so she could kiss her witch.

"I love you, Buffy," Willow responded. She was surprised when Buffy pulled back with a frown.

"Wills? It's like you're shut down all of a sudden," Buffy commented. "Is it because we talked about Faith and Riley?"

"No, I'm mentally beating myself up, Buff," she said softly, leaning her arms on her knees. "I don't know what's going to happen to me and if I can even focus on a relationship and I'm here with you. I'm telling you how much I love you and letting you tell me that you love me and I might be leaving. This is so not fair to you."

"I need training to control the magic thing, Buffy, and I'm not going to find it here in Sunnydale," Willow explained. "There's some witches or sorcerers that the Council is recommending in San Francisco or Los Angeles."

"You'll be busy slaying and trying to raise Dawn and I'll be busy trying to get my screwed up life together," Willow countered. "It wouldn't be every weekend."

Buffy frowned, thinking about it and sat up, leaning her head on Willow's shoulder.

"I don't care, I've got you for tonight," Buffy declared. "No more talk of leaving tonight or past lovers. Just let go for tonight, Wills."

Willow sighed and hesitated. She could feel the desire radiating off of the Slayer and felt her own desire pounding at her common sense.

Buffy pulled Willow back down onto the bed and Willow drew her into her arms, accepting the conditions for the night in Buffy's arms.

Giles, Dawn and Tara jumped in their sleep later at the sound of a scream from Willow. Giles, fearing danger, grabbed for his robe when another scream sounded through the house followed by Willow screaming Buffy's name.

"Willow, I hope you know what you're doing," he muttered, lying back down in Joyce's bed.

Buffy woke up alone in Willow's bed and glanced around, hoping to hear Willow coming back into the room from the bathroom or something. The Slayer senses told her there wasn't any movement in the house.

Buffy frowned and her eyes widened as she looked at a piece of paper left on Willow's pillow. She quickly grabbed it up and blinked, trying to focus.

"Buffy, don't panic. I'm fine, I just need some time today. I am not regretting last night and I hope you aren't either. I just need to make decisions about my life soon and last night complicated things. Tell the others not to worry, I'll be back tonight. I promise. Willow."

"Goddamn it!" Buffy growled. Her first response would be to go looking for Willow, to hell with space but Buffy pulled herself back. They were going to have to trust Willow sometime and Buffy didn't want to pressure her lover about anything.

"Damn!" Buffy muttered and headed for a shower, hoping that she wouldn't run into Tara.

"How the hell am I going to explain this?" Buffy asked her reflection as she looked at her bruised neck. "Where the hell did she sleep last night anyway? She's been sleeping with Willow until last night."

A stop in her bedroom for clean clothes answered Buffy's question. Curled up under a blanket on her was Tara.

That meant Tara was very aware of where Buffy had spent the night. Buffy grabbed clothes without looking and snuck out of her room very quietly.

Maybe Willow had the right idea, maybe a day alone and away from everyone was just what Buffy needed as well.

"Enjoy yourself?" Dawn's voice smirked from the doorway of the kitchen. "What the hell are you doing? I am so gonna hurt you if you keep Tara and Willow from getting back together!"

"In here," a familiar voice answered and Willow shut the door behind her, letting her eyes adjust to the dim lighting. Angel was standing near a sarcophagus with a cardboard box in his hands.

"I thought I'd pick up some of his things," Angel explained. "There isn't much."

"I'm sorry, Angel," Willow said softly, tears filling her eyes. "It's all my fault, he wouldn't have gone against Orcus if it hadn't been for me."

Angel put the box down and moved towards the witch. Her tears broke free when he took her into his arms.

"Yes, you set things in motion and you'll have that guilt to live with," he agreed. "I don't blame you, Willow. I know a little of what you went through."

"Even though you two fought, you loved Spike, didn't you?" she asked, pulling back slightly to look into his brown eyes.

"Yes, always," he nodded, sitting down on the edge of the sarcophagus as Willow sat down next to him. "How did you know to find me here?"

"Made sense," Willow began explaining. "I knew how much you loved him and would want to find a way to say goodbye."

"Try and find some training and experience to go along with my magic skills," Willow answered.

"I love her, more than ever," Willow said slowly. "I also love Buffy so I'm confused as hell about everything."

"A three-way relationship seldom works but it might with the three of you," Angel commented.

"I need to get this magic thing under control before I even try and think of a love life," Willow grumbled with a blush. "I don't think it'd work."

"Even if it's Buffy or Tara?" Angel asked with a knowing smile. "Love has a way of getting in the way of common sense."

"Yeah," Willow mumbled and leaned against the vampire's shoulder. "When are you going back to LA?"

"At sundown," he answered, looking at the box containing the last of Spike's undead life.

"No, I need some time to mourn by myself. It was good to see you, though," he said thoughtfully. "Very good to see you up on your feet."

"There's still a demon child out there that's going to grow up to kill Slayers and I'm his mother," Willow said bitterly.

"I needed some time too," Willow said, standing up and facing the vampire. "I am sorry about Spike."

"I know, thanks," Angel nodded. "You and the Gang were good to him after that chip thing. As much as he bitched about all of you, he cared deeply."

"You too, keep in touch wherever you land," Angel urged, hugging her back and watching her leave the crypt.

Tara walked into the park slowly. She caught sight of familiar red hair and stood under a tree watching Willow as her ex-girlfriend sat under a similar tree, leaning her back against the bark.

Tara had a feeling she would find Willow here after Buffy showed her and everyone the note. It was one of Willow's favorite places to sit and think on a beautiful California day.

The blonde witch had spent the night in Buffy's bed. Tara had heard familiar sounds in Willow's bedroom and knew that Buffy probably wouldn't be returning to her own bed that night. Sounds that Tara had heard Willow making only for her.

Tara had cried herself to sleep during the night but found she couldn't be angry at Buffy the next morning. Or even really at Willow, all Tara was sure that she was feeling was confusion.

Willow looked more like the Willow she had known when they had first met in the Wiccan group on campus, Tara thought as she watched Willow, and her heart ached to have that Willow back. The shy computer witch, insecure and hesitant.

Tara knew they could never go back but she felt her mind and heart coming to a decision as she moved slowly out of the shadow of the tree.

Tara could tell the exact moment when Willow remembered where and with whom she had spent the night with as Willow's smile faded and her eyes became guarded and worried.

The blonde witch sat down next to Willow. Tara hesitated a moment and surprised Willow by pulling the other witch into her arms and kissing her passionately. Willow whimpered and melted.

Tara wasn't surprised when they finally came up for air that Willow broke into tears and clung to her. Tara held Willow closely, rocking her and whispering softly.

"People died because of me and I love both you and Buffy, everything is so messed up," Willow whined.

"You know I was with Buffy last night," Willow said slowly, pulling out of Tara's arms.

"Not yet, my love," Willow said softly, leaning into Tara's arms. "I'm going to need some time and some intensive work for the first few months."

"I was hurt and couldn't take it," Tara admitted. "It looked like you didn't care about our relationship, my feelings, my fears, or your lack of control."

"I fell into darkness and I made major mistakes," Willow said slowly. "I shouldn't have kept everything from you. I know you can't forgive me for that."

"I can forgive you but we can't forget what happened," Tara agreed. "Why didn't you tell me about the spell and your deal with Baal-beryth?"

"I couldn't deal with Buffy's loss, my feelings for her and I couldn't admit it to you," Willow said after a few moments of thinking. "I knew if I told you the price for that spell, you'd know how I felt about Buffy and would doubt my love for you."

"I always knew how you felt about Buffy, Wills," Tara said gently as they watched children playing on a jungle gym. "I can't share you with Buffy, Willow, but I'm not willing to let you go either."

"Yes," Willow agreed as Tara's lips caressed her neck. "I'll call the house from the dorm. They're worry if I don't come back tonight."

"She'll know but I can't help that," Willow's voice had gone husky with desire. "I need you."

Tara stood up and helped Willow to her feet, drawing Willow into her arms again.

"Giles?" Buffy demanded, trotting down the stairs two at a time after hearing the telephone ring. It was getting close to dusk and Buffy was getting concerned that Willow and Tara weren't back yet. None of the group was really ready to let Willow out at night and into the dangers of Sunnydale until she was better trained.

"That was Willow," he said quickly. "She's with Tara and they'll be back in the morning."

"They're in Tara's dorm, have ordered pizza apparently and are going to spend the evening together," Giles expanded.

"Together?" Buffy whispered while Dawn cheered behind her at the top of the stairs.

"Yes," Giles said calmly, watching Buffy's reactions. "Are you alright?" he finally asked.

"Yeah," Buffy muttered. "What the hell can I do, Giles? She's in love with both of us and we both love her."

"Spike is gone because of me and I may have waited too late to let Willow know how I felt," Buffy complained. "My life is hell!" she shouted, startling her former Watcher and friend.

Giles coughed and removed his glasses, beginning to clean them with his shirt tail. "Yes, well, now is the time to start rebuilding our lives."

"Are you staying in Sunnydale or San Fran or LA with Willow?" Buffy asked, calming down some.

"I'm heading back to England, actually," Giles said, moving back towards the kitchen with Buffy following him. "I'm sorry for leaving, Buffy. I was wrong to leave when and as I did."

"I know, we all made mistakes since I came back," Buffy nodded. "I'm not angry any more, just tired, confused and unsure of what to do with my life. Willow is right, I have to take care of Dawn, find a job to pay the bills and continue slaying."

"Maybe I could suggest taking on students and teach self-defense?" Giles offered.

"Wow, you mean use my skills and training for something other than dusting vampires?" Buffy grinned. "That's a great idea! I could take on a couple of students or so and use the back of the Magic Box, it's already set up for my training."

"Xander and Anya are planning their wedding and I've seen Anya looking at baby books," Dawn chipped in, coming up behind her sister and hugging Buffy.

"Oh God," Buffy muttered. "Anya as a mother? I'm not sure I can handle that one!" she teased.

Dawn and Buffy began chatting enthusiastically about the possible new career for the oldest living Slayer while Giles drank his tea thoughtfully.

He noticed Buffy stop occasionally, looking towards the door, as if waiting for Willow to walk back through. The Watcher knew that his Slayer hadn't dismissed her feelings for Willow so easily.

Tara held tightly to Willow's hips as her lover screamed and grabbed at the headboard, her body shaking out of control. Tara smiled as she kept stroking Willow's clit with her tongue and thrust several fingers into Willow, keeping the pressure going, sending Willow into another orgasm as her body floated in the air.

Tara concentrated and Willow floated slowly back down to the small bed, gasping for breath, reaching for Tara and holding her tight as Tara curled up next to her.

It had felt so much like old times that it was almost as if she and Willow had gone back in time. They had spent the afternoon and early evening eating pizza and watching movies and snuggles had led to hours of rediscovering each other sexually.

Several times during the night someone had banged on the door or on the walls, shouting for the young women to quiet it down.

Buffy's Slayer senses kicked into gear and she realized someone was in the room with her, Buffy's hand reaching under her pillow for a familiar stake.

"What's up, Wills? It's early," Buffy mumbled, glancing at the clock and disbelieving that it was only 5:30am.

"Just coming to check on you," Willow said softly, bending over to kiss the Slayer gently. "I love you, Buffy."

"I love you too," Buffy mumbled. The Slayer tried to get a little more coherent. "You were with Tara?"

"Yes, sex stuff too," Willow admitted, sitting on the edge of the bed as Buffy blinked and frowned.

"I love you, Buffy, always have and always will, I guess," Willow said slowly. "I also love Tara and I can't be with either of you, right now. I guess we'll figure it out during visits or something."

"Go back to sleep, lover," Willow teased and bent over to kiss her again. "I love you."

"Okay," Buffy mumbled, drifting back into sleep. As long as Willow said those words, Buffy figured she could face anything.

Buffy frowned when she woke up again and found Tara sitting in a chair near the window.

Tara didn't look at her but continued looking out the window. Buffy glanced at the clock and frowned at the numbers that read 10am.

"She left with Giles for training," Tara answered, a tear escaping down her cheek.

Buffy saw an envelope on the spare pillow next to her head. The Slayer frowned, she didn't want to open it, and she didn't want to read it. If she read it then that would make it real.

Buffy frowned, suddenly having to evaluate her life and life plans. Her eyes filled with tears.

"My life is here, Tara," Buffy said, suddenly hating life and being a grown up. She should have told Willow how she felt in high school, she thought. "I've got Dawn, the house and the slaying."

"I'll survive," Buffy laughed ruefully. "I'm going to slowly retire from slaying. Giles suggested becoming a self-defense trainer. I'll still be here if Willow wants to visit but I can't promise I'll put my life on hold for her."

"Good," Buffy nodded, wiping at her own tears. "You both deserve to be happy and you were more than good for her."

"I'll be around to help with Dawn until I know more about where Willow is," Tara assured her friend.

"Why not move in? You can help with Dawn, she'd love it and we can cry in our coffee together," Buffy suggested, trying to joke.

"Tara," the witch turned to look at Buffy. "I'm not sorry I was with Willow but I'm glad that you're not giving up."

"I'm not angry at either of you for what happened, it was just a matter of time, really," Tara smiled.

Tara closed the door and hesitated, hearing Buffy finally breaking down and sobbing behind the door. The witch pulled out her own envelope and letter from Willow and looked at Willow's handwriting of her name on the envelope.

"Yes," she nodded, still looking out the window. "This isn't easy for me, Giles."

"You meet with the Watcher Council and they evaluate your magickal abilities, history and all that," he explained.

"What will you do?" he asked slowly. He knew the Council frowned on "emotional attachments" during any kind of training, but then they had never dealt with anyone like Willow Rosenberg and Tara Maclay before.

"I'll always love her but I guess that doesn't always mean we end up together," Willow said slowly. "I love Tara, its right with her."

"Thanks, Giles, I'm gonna need friends," Willow said somewhat nervously. "The Council isn't going to like what I did or what happened."

Willow nodded and looked out the window again, putting on her headphones, hoping to drown out the past. She needed to concentrate on a future now.

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Fallen

By Frau Hunter Ash

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