No More Need For Black Eyes And Blue Tears by EarthGoddessTara

Rating: R
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this (except for Mackenzie. She's mine. And a few miscellaneous characters. And the bag of M&M's I'm eating) so you can't sue. I'm not making any money off of this, Joss Whedon, Kelley Armstrong, and Constance M. Burge were just kind enough to let me take their characters, and do my own thing with them. I promise to put their toys back where I found them.
Distribution: The Mystic Muse: http://mysticmuse.net
If you want it then go ahead and take it, just tell me where it's going, k?
Feedback: Good feedback is welcome, as is constructive criticism.
Spoilers: Anything up to Season 3, and some of Season 4, and the information regarding Tara's past from Season 5's Family, most of Charmed, and the book Bitten.
Author's Notes: Completely AU (alternate universe). Buffy and the gang meet Tara before Season 4. Tara is in her freshman year at UC Sunnydale, and she has a little sister. Willow knew she was gay her whole life (Dog Boy Oz isn't an issue, but they're good friends).
It was pointed out to me that it's kinda weird that Mac doesn't attend school because they can't afford it. You see, in British Columbia, even in public schools you have to pay for your courses. Yes, it's only around thirty and forty dollars (some you even have to pay $150) but when you're taking nine courses it gets kinda expensive. It's the government's way of getting more money out of us (our schools can barely afford to run as it is). I kinda forgot that this is set in the US and not in Canada. Sorry about any confusion I created).
Dedication: Special thanks to my buddies Alli and Lord Jareth (AKA: Tempest Duer) for betaing this. Yer the best guys! (hugs)/
Pairing: Willow/Tara

Summary: Tara and her sister meet the Scoobies.

Today has got to be the hottest day in my life. And no, I'm not exaggerating. I can't stand the heat; it slows me down. My sister seems to work pretty good in it (she can bite me). She knows I hate heat. So where does she move us? California. I honestly thought she was kidding when she told me. I mean it's January and it's 32 degrees (Celsius of course) outside!

I'm trying not to complain too much. Tara got a scholarship from her high school for her sewing abilities (I never knew you could…you should see her work though). So she gets to go to school for free and we get to live in the family townhouses for free. Which is pretty cool. The only problem is Tara can't afford to pay for me to go to school. So I teach myself. I get books from the library, make Tara read them, and then make up questions for me to answer. Ok, it's a joint effort but you know what I mean.

Another problem we have is we can't afford much. Tara has a job as a waitress at a diner that pays minimum wage. All the clothes we own are thrift store specials. That I'm not really complaining about, you can find some really cool stuff in thrift stores. And we have to buy food. And I mean a lot of food. I have to eat at least five times a day for…personal reasons. At the diner where Tara works, every one of the staff (all four of 'em including Tara) knows me. They always give me something, a free milkshake, a free piece of pie, five dollars, whatever they can. The food I don't mind, the money…I dunno. Makes me feel like a charity case or somethin'. They mean well though.

It's four thirty in the afternoon now. Tara's shift is over at five. I'm on my skateboard heading to the diner. I like to be early; it means I get food. And I get to chat with everyone there. I'm also hoping someone will have some painkillers I can have. A month ago I was riding my skateboard, hit a bump, fell and broke my arm. A few weeks ago riding the same skateboard, I fell on the sidewalk and split my cheek open. I think it's starting to get infected.

I come to the front of the diner, stop my skateboard, pick it up, and walk in. It's immediate: "Mackenzie! How's my girl doin'!?" That's Ed, he owns the diner. He smiles his big smile at me.

"I've been better, I've been worse." I reply. I grab an empty stool at the counter in front of him and sit down. The diner's empty at this time of the day. Hell, who am I kidding? This place is always empty. That's why Tara can only get minimum wage. Except…Do my eyes deceive me? There's customers! Actual other people! Four of them squished together in a booth a few booths down from me.

The diner's set up like a classic diner from like the 50's. Black and white tile, five booths to the right, five booths to the left, there's a jukebox in the left hand corner (I don't think it's worked in years though, believe me, I've tried). The counter top is red. The rest of the counter is that chrome wannabe stuff that they used in the fifties. It's really nice in here though. Ed and Annie do a good job keeping it clean. Tara would, but that's not her job. Her job as waitress is to serve customers and help Dan when he needs it in the kitchen (which is pretty frequently, he's hopeless).

"Doll, your sister is in the back gettin' the other customer's orders ready," says Annie, Ed's wife. They're a big black couple. Ed weighs 250 pounds easily. Same with Annie. But their hearts are bigger then them. You can't help but love them. They've got to be in their mid-late fifties if not early sixties.

"Do ya want somethin' to eat Doll? Ya should, yer nothin' but skin and bones!" Annie oh so politely informs me. It's true though; I'm small even for being fourteen years old.

"Ed! Fix her up the chocolatiest milkshake ya can!" Annie orders her husband. It doesn't take much to convince him. He loves makin 'em for me.

As I await my chocolaty death, I ever so discreetly get a look at the customers in the booth. Two girls, and two guys, teenagers. One of the girls is blonde, the other's red. They're both pretty cute. One of the guys is a brunette, the other is bleach blonde. They're all chatting amongst themselves. I can hear their conversation, and more clearly than Ed or Annie. I can also hear Dan the cook in the kitchen drop a bowl on the floor, and hear him curse. I laugh at the image it brings to my head.

"What's so funny Doll?" Ed asks me as he sets my death (the extra chocolaty milkshake) in front of me.

Ed shakes his head. "I've told him 'bout his swearin'! Nothin' a little lady like yerself should be hearin'!" Then he stomps off to the kitchen, to give Dan a piece of his mind. I laugh again at Dan's expense. Then I take a sip of my milkshake. Or, I try. It's so thick I can't suck it through the straw. Annie hands me a tablespoon. She looks at my cheek then gasps.

She sighs. "I swear girl, yer a walkin' disaster! Next time ya fall down yer probably gonna kill yerself!"

She sighs again. Then comes around from behind the counter, grabs my arm and hauls me off to the office.

She sets me down in the chair. She rummages through a first aid kit. She pulls out a cream, and some gauze and medical tape. "Doll, yer cheek has red veins comin' from it. That means it's infected. Ya need to get to the emergency room so a real doc can look at it." She tells me as she puts cream on my cheek.

"Say we do. They treat it, and then prescribe an antibiotic or somethin'. How are Tara an' I gonna pay for it?" I don't mean to sound rude. But I have a point and Annie knows it.

"Tara's gettin' her pay check today. An' I'll give her an advance on her next one", I open my mouth to protest but she cuts me off "An' no, it won't be taken off her next check either. I wouldn't do that to ya."

I sigh. I know when I'm beaten. Now my cheek's all bandaged up and we head back to the counter. I sit back down on my stool and Annie disappears into the kitchen. I start back on my milkshake. It's still too thick to suck through the straw so I have to use the spoon Annie gave me. I look at the clock on the wall; it now reads 4:55. I swear that clock is also from the fifties. I turn my attention back to the teenagers a few booths down. Ok, I don't turn my head and stare at them, that's too obvious. But I can hear their conversation perfectly.

"You betcha. Vamp activity has been up lately. Might have something to do with the zombies a few days ago." One of the girls replies. I heard about the zombies that were walkin around a few days a go. Wait… she just said zombies…. and vamps… this is our girl! I turn to look at her. I'm not sure which girl said it. I take a deep smell (not deep enough to attract attention and make it look like I'm crazy). Hmmm… I'd have to say it's the blonde. Wait…I just smelt another-

"Mac, I'm s-sorry but I'm going to be a f-f-ew extra minutes ok?" When did my sister get here?

"Alright. I'm in no hurry. But Tara I need to talk to you outside for a sec." I know if I tell her anywhere in this diner they'll hear me. Well, the blonde will. So will the guy with the bleach hair.

"I-I-I d-didn't t-think we'd f-f-find her this s-soon" She's really stuttering now. Great.

"She said somethin' about 'patrolling' tonight. And something about vamps. She'll most likely be in the cemeteries tonight."

"No. I didn't get the chance to hear", she gives a defeated sigh "But I got her scent. I'll be able to follow her."

Not really. But she doesn't like me goin' places myself. She wants to be there in case something happens to me. "Sure. I can always use some back up."

I nod and head back into the diner. The Slayer and her group are paying for their food and are starting to leave. Tara heads back to the office and I follow her. She grabs her bag. She gets a look at my cheek. "Did you do this?"

She gives her famous embarrassed half-smile. "S-sorry. Come on. Let's had home."

It's now after 10 o'clock. Tara is with me and I'm tryin' my best to find Buffy's scent. It's kinda everywhere. I'm tryin' to find where it's strongest. But it's everywhere as I said. A wind blows and I pick up her scent. Its west from us. I turn that direction. Tara follows me. She stays silent so I can concentrate on picking up the scent.

We head into the cemetery. She's not that hard to spot. I mean how many blonde teenagers do you know are out in a cemetery at 10 o'clock at night, fighting with a guy twice her size? It looks like he has the upper hand for a minute, and the next he's dust. The other people from the diner are sitting on the sidelines cheering her on. After she dusts the vamp she bows for them and they cheer louder. Basking in her glory she doesn't notice the vamp running at her from behind.

I start running at him. When I'm close enough I tackle him to the ground. He puts up a fight but he's no match for me. I flip him on his back and I put my weight on his chest (I don't weigh much but it's enough) and punch him repeatedly on the face with my right hand (not very powerful since my good arm is in a cast). I feel his nose crack under my knuckles. Feels gross. I get up, grab him by his shirt and throw him against a headstone. It breaks and so does something else in him (I think it's his back) with another crack. Buffy is there and stakes him. He disappears in a cloud of dust. She turns to me with a bewildered look on her face.

"I'm Mackenzie. My sister Tara, is the waitress is over there", Tara gives a weak wave "And you're Buffy. The Vampire Slayer." She looks a little shocked at the information I just gave her.

"She's a werewolf." I turn to the voice. It's the guy with the bleached hair. He's a wolf too. I can smell it. I turn back to Buffy and nod.

"That's right. I'm also a witch and part demon. Tara's a witch too. So, want some help fighting the forces of darkness?"

She still looks a little bewildered. But she nods her head. "You obviously know I'm Buffy. The redhead back there is Willow", I turn and she waves "The guy sitting beside her is Oz", the werewolf, he nods at me " And the guy beside him is Xander" he waves too. I wave back.

"Oh!" Willow gasps, "You should meet Giles! I'm sure he'd love to meet you. Oh…you don't have to tonight. It's pretty late…" She turns all sheepish and a little red. She's just like Tara…

"N-no. W-we can. I don't have class t-tomorrow and n-n-neither does Mac." Tara speaks up for the first time.

"Alright. Since Giles is a British Librarian that has no life I'm pretty sure he'd still be at the library," I think that's kinda harsh. But then again Slayers are supposed to have some weird sense of humor.

"Fascinating. Absolutely fascinating." Giles murmurs as Tara and I explain about our supernatural backgrounds. Tara doesn't have much to tell; she's a witch, she got her powers from mom. He finds her pretty interesting but he is ecstatic hearing about me. "So you're a werewolf, demon and witch combination?" I nod "Can you tell me what your demonic powers are?"

"I can shimmer, which is like teleporting only it takes less energy, and I can only shimmer to places I've already been. I'm also an empath."

"An empath. It means I can feel other people's emotions. Strong ones usually make me act on them. And I can sense other supernatural things, like other demons. I also have a demonic form that I only use when I really need to. Otherwise I hardly use it."

"And what about your werewolf heritage? I know there are many species of werewolf out there," Giles asks

"I'm the only female werewolf of my kind. It's genetically passed from father to son. You can be bit and turned into one yourself but we don't want inexperienced wolves running around. The only reason I'm still alive is my cousin accidentally bit me when I was two years old. My grandfather -the Alpha male- didn't want to kill me. Neither did anyone else in the Pack."

"People who aren't born werewolves. You can't just learn how to control your instincts. You have to be born knowing how. The only reason I have good control over them is because I was turned when I was really young. That and my grandfather is the best teacher. Also inexperienced wolves that are turned at a later age wouldn't survive their first Change. It takes a huge physical toll on the body. But after your first one you can Change whenever you want. You don't have to wait for a full moon and it takes only a second to Change.

"We also don't want other wolves because we stop aging and become immortal when we turn twenty-two years old. Nothing can kill us. That's why there are only twenty of us."

"Now there's something I don't understand. How do you Mackenzie have all these powers but your sister doesn't?" Giles asks

"Ah, yes I see. That explains it all." Giles seems a little uncomfortable hearing that answer and starts cleaning his glasses. Probably embarrassed that that was the answer. He probably was expecting something supernatural to be the cause of it. Not something genetic.

I save him, "Cuz I'm a wolf I have to eat constantly to keep up my energy. I can read the fine print on a document a block away; I can smell the bakery three blocks from here. I can also hear the water bubbling in the teapot in the other room. I think it's done."

"Ah, yes. Tea anyone?" Giles asks and no one answers. "Right." Then he disappears to get himself a cup. I've come to notice as far as Brits go; he's the stereotype to end all stereotypes. Except he has nice teeth. They aren't yellow or rotting. Very classy English accent. In an almost uptight sorta way.

"So Mackenzie. Is that your natural hair color or did you get a dye job?" Did I mention that there's some chick named Cordelia here as well? I completely forgot about her up till now. Too bad she had to talk.

"Natural." My hair is jet black. It comes from my German background I think. I'm only five feet tall, my hair is shoulder length, and I have to wear motorcycle-riding gloves on my hands. I have to wear the gloves because of my tattoos. No, I didn't go out and get them done. They're genetic. The one on the back of my left hand is a triquetra symbol (which is basically three ovals linked together in a circle) and on my right hand is a phoenix (the symbol of my Pack). Both of them are targets that say "Hey fellow demons! I'm a good guy! Kill me!" So ya, I keep them hidden with the gloves.

"You know that color works for you. It works with your skin tone. But if you went out in the sun a little more it might get some highlights and darken your skin."

Is she serious? Does she really think I'm gonna listen to her? I mean she's probably head cheerleader. It's been said you only use ten percent of your brain. I think cheerleaders only use point five percent.

"But you know that white cast does nothing for you. A different color would be better…" I tune her out. She's still talking. I can see her lips moving. There's sound coming out but that's it. I really don't wanna hear it. Instead I turn my attention to Tara. Who apparently has her attention on Willow. They're making lovey dovey eyes at each other. Oh, please. I'm with the whole gay thing, cuz I am too, but can't they get a room?

She brightens and keeps on talking. I look at Xander, who rolls his eyes. Then he makes a show of pretending to stab Cordelia in the back. I try not to smile and start snickering a bit. He sees my reaction and makes an even bigger show of it. I can't help it I start laughing. Cordelia doesn't even notice she's so caught up in talking about whatever.

It's now been five weeks since we met Buffy and the Slayerettes. Tara and Willow are still eyeing each other and not doing a thing about it. God, it's so obvious. You'd have to be stoned, deaf, dumb and blind not to notice. I get the full force of it because of my stupid empath abilities. It's really starting to get to me. I need to do something about it soon before it drives me crazier than I already am.

Tonight I'm supposed to meet Buffy at the library so we can go patrolling together. I really don't know what good I am. I mean my good arm is in a cast. Moral support? I dunno. I walk through the big double doors.

Standing at the table next to Buffy is the most gorgeous creature I've ever seen. She's medium height, dark brown hair, wearing a skimpy white tank top and tight black leather pants. I think I need to put my tongue back in my mouth and wipe my chin. I try to gain some composure and walk up to Buffy.

"Hey Cheer Bear. Miss me?" I gave her that nickname a few weeks ago. She had her hair up in a ponytail, and was wearing a yellow vest. I told her she looked like Cheer Bear from the Care Bears.

"Hey Shorty. Did you behave at home today?" 'Shorty'? C'mon. I'm almost as tall as her.

"Ohhhh, bringin' out the big guns now! Look out! Buffy's gonna tell my sister! God forbid!"

"Har har. Oh, Mac this is Faith the Vampire Slayer. Faith this is Mackenzie" So the hot chick has a name. A nice name I might add. Wait…

"Remember I told you I died right?" I stare blankly at her but she continues, "Then Kendra was called. Then she died. Now Faith is in Kendra's place" Ah, I see. It all makes sense now. She died?

"One of the other funny things of being a Slayer. Kinda like how Slaying makes you hungry and-"

"Hot! It makes you really hot from the workout" I really don't think that's what the hot chick was gonna say but alright. I'll let her get away with this one. She gives Faith a hard stare then turns to me. "You still up for patrolling tonight? We're gonna have some extra company." She gestures in Faith's general direction.

We've just finished off slaying and are heading back to the library. And I should have noticed it before. I should have sensed it before. Buffy doesn't like Faith. She doesn't talk to her and when she does she kinda brushes the question off or just ignores it. Doesn't bother Faith though. She's too busy flirting with me to care. Yes, I'm fourteen but she can't be more than fifteen. I know Buffy's seventeen and Faith is at least two years younger than her.

"The whole summer it was, like, the worst heat wave. So it's about a hundred and eighteen degrees and I'm sleeping without a stitch on. And all of a sudden, I hear this screaming from outside. So I go tearing out, stark nude, and this church bus has broke down, and there's these three vamps feasting. So I waste the vamps, and the preacher comes up, and he's hugging me like there's no tomorrow, when all of a sudden, the cops pull up and they arrested us both." See what I mean. I love her voice though. And the way she gestures wildly when she talks.

"That's an interesting story. But you know you being a Slayer an' all, I gotta ask, how are you with werewolves?"

She grins at me. "Like I told Dog Boy last night, as long as ya don't go scratchin' me or humpin' me it's all good."

I just shrug but there's a half smile on my lips. I notice Buffy is kinda walking ahead of us at a pretty fast rate. Faith notices too.

"Yo, what's up with B? Is she just having a weird week or is she always like this?" She whispers. She should know better. Even whispering Slayers can pick up.

"I don't know." I lie. "She might just be having a weird week." I make a silent promise to Buffy that I'll help her with the troubles she's having. I guarantee it's Faith related. It might have something to do with Angel too. She told me about him, how they slept together, then he went all evil and lost his soul, then she had to save the world by sending him to Hell. That took guts. To send your one true love to Hell knowing they would be in torment for all of eternity. When I was talking with her the pain was rolling off of her in waves so much it physically hurt me. I love being an empath, but I HATE that side effect.

Kinda like now. Buffy's annoyance, frustration and anger are just rolling off of her. I wince at the sharp pain it causes in my stomach.

"You ok?" Faith's worried about me, she's lookin' all concerned. It's kinda sweet.

"Yeah. Stomach-ache. No big." I smile and shrug it off. She doesn't look completely convinced but she nods anyway.

I smile "Damn straight I am. Well I'm not really straight but you know." Did I seriously just say that out loud?

She leans in and whispers to me "It's alright. I'm not either." Her breath tickles my ear. A shiver runs down my spine. I turn and look at her. We stare in each other's eyes. I get the scent that is uniquely her, the one that identifies who she is. She smells like leather and cheap soap. She's so close I could almost kiss her. She leans slightly forward, as do I. We're so close…

"Mac, I'd really prefer it and I'm sure Tara would too if you had someone walking with you."

Buffy glares at her. She gives an angry sigh "Fine. But Faith be at the library by the time school's out tomorrow. Mac, you patrolling with me tomorrow night?"

"Good night." Then she storms off. I'm tempted to go after her. But she has Slayer strength and I'm crippled. She could do some damage, if ya know what I mean.

"Someone's wound a little too fuckin' tight." Faith says to me as we watch Buffy's retreating back.

"Oh, just people. Nobody important." I look directly at her with the last statement.

She smacks me on the arm "You little bitch! I'm gonna cut all yer wolf fur off and wear it as a coat for that!" She grins evilly.

When did her lips get on mine? Ah, who cares. This is better than wondering that stupid question. She likes to be in charge. I can tell cuz right now her tongue is tryin to get in my mouth, not forcefully though. She runs her tongue across my bottom lip. My hands it seems have somehow found their way into her hair. I grant her access into my mouth.

"Really? Yer pretty damn good for a first timer. I've never been kissed like that before. And trust me, I've kissed a lot of people."

Now we're at it again. I think I could get used to this. We finally break again.

"I think I should get home before Tara starts panicking and sends out the National Guard."

I start walking in the general direction of home. For some reason Breathless by The Corrs is now stuck in my head. Too bad I don't have that CD.

She's kinda…antsy. That's the only way to describe it. I don't think she's used to kissing a girl, then walking her home. Well, that's the vibe I'm gettin' from her. I don't mean for this to sound derogatory towards her but I think she's used to kissing a girl, gettin' her to bed, then leavin'. For some reason that doesn't really bother me. I can't explain it.

I try to relax her a little, loosen her up "So you know I'm a Canuck, would I be right if I guessed you're a Yankee?"

"I had you pegged for an East Coast girl. I think it's the accent. What brings you all the way to the West coast?"

She tenses. Very subtle, I'll give her credit for that. "Jus' my Watcher told me the legendary Buffy lives out here on the Hellmouth, she figured I could lend her a hand."

Ah, so this is a Hellmouth. Great Tara. You brought us to demon central. My death toll is gonna go way up. I guarantee it. Fun. First it was heat, now its more demons that wanna kill me. Yee fricken haw.

"So, um…I usually don't do this kinda thing. Uh, what I'm tryin' to say is um, Mac, do you wanna hang out or somethin' on Saturday night?"

She's nervous. It's kinda cute. "Of course, Faith. I'd love to." I smile to reassure her.

She smiles then kisses me one more time. "Great. I'll see ya tomorrow then at the library." And with that she leaves. I can still feel her nervousness from here. I can tell she doesn't do this often, kiss a girl then make a date with her. It makes me feel kinda special. With a stupid smile on my face I walk in the house.

Tara's sitting on the futon (which we bought at the local thrift store, it was a steal at $4) in the living room drinking something (tea no doubt) and reading a book. When she hears the door open she looks up.

"Excellent! I'm gonna have a shower then I'm headin' off to bed. Love ya!" And I bound upstairs. I can feel her confusion in the bathroom and can just imagine the look on her face. I laugh and start my shower.

It's 3:30 in the afternoon and I'm practically skipping down the Sunnydale High hallways. As the library comes into view I regain some composure and walk at a normal pace. Faith is behind me. I know she is. She doesn't know that I know ya know. I'm letting her think she's this great hunter or somethin'. Her steps match mine perfectly. But I know she's there cuz I can smell her. I got major dosage of her scent last night.

Without warning, I stop, grab her shoulders, and throw her against the lockers. I can feel her shock. It makes me laugh.

Before she can say anything I'm in the library. She walks in behind me. Then she goes and sits down on one of the empty chairs.

"It's called a joke Xanman. You really need to get out more." I take the bag from him and take a handful.

"So I've been told." I sit beside him and pat his knee. He flicks my shoulder. "Oh, you so did not just do that."

He gives a mock fearful look. I stare at him without blinking. The mock fear turns into real fear. I flick him on the forehead then go sit by Oz. "Yo."

Willow and Buffy walk in. Buffy heads to Giles' office, most likely to warn him she wants to train (if you think you've seen her slay, wait until she's mad).

Willow smiles at me. "Hey, Mac. Is your sister studying tonight? Or-or is she gonna be here soon?"

Dude, she's got it bad. I'm pretty much suffocating in her attraction to my sister. I need to do something about this. Soon. Maybe I can recruit Xander or Oz to help me. Plots are starting to form in my brain. Hmmm…maybe, just maybe-

"Earth to Mac! You in this universe?" Buffy's waving her hand in my face to get my attention.

I go to the doctors next week for x-rays to see if I can get my cast off. It's kinda bulky but it doesn't slow me down. Buffy may be a bit taller than me, and she have a bit more muscle (only because she's had a bit more training than me). I may be smaller but I'm faster. And I use my speed to my advantage.

We circle each other a few times, looking for weak spots. She attacks first with a punch aimed at my face. Easily dodged. That's the whole point. She pulls back and we circle again. She then lunges at me. I use her momentum against her by kicking her in the back. She falls face first on the floor. She quickly recovers. She comes at me with a relentless series of punch and kick combos. I block and dodge. I mostly dodge. I'm doing something I learnt long ago; I'm letting her use all of her strength trying to catch me. She's starting to tire (an amazing feat for a Slayer). Now I make my move. I go for her weak spot: her ribs. She doesn't cover them. She covers her stomach and chest, which is great but that leaves her sides wide open. And trust me, you can only take so much damage there for so long. With a series of kicks to her sides, she winces, and then I kick her in the chest, sending her backwards onto her ass.

I look over at Faith. But she's too busy talking with Willow. Ok, more like Willow's talking and Faith is pretending to listen. I turn back to Buffy and nod. She grabs a change of clothes and we head to the washrooms. I don't have anything to change into. I'll have to do that at home. She walks into a stall, closes the door then locks it. I turn the taps on in the sink and cup some water to cool my face off with.

She's silent. I don't hear anything except her breathing. I wait. She still doesn't say anything.

"I get my life back on track, finally! Then she shows up all 'oh look at me! I'm the new Slayer! I'm so great!' She takes my friends, my Watcher and even my own Mom! Everyone loves her! It pisses me off!"

She comes out of the stall, this time dressed in jeans and a t-shirt that says 'Dream' on it. Her eyes are a little teary.

"Understandable. After what you had to do, after all you went through I'm not surprised."

"It's so hard. I close my eyes and I see his face, just before I sent him to Hell. The look of pain and shock on his face. I did that!" She's full out crying now. I open my arms and she gladly wraps her arms around me and cries into my shoulder. "I miss him!"

"And no one understands! No one understands what it's like to just stand by and watch someone you love die!"

"Yes, I do. I had to sit by and watch helplessly as cancer ate away at my mom. And when my bestest friend in the whole wide world was killed right in front of me."

"To tell the truth, I went about it the wrong way. I bottled it up. I kept my feelings to myself. You're the first person I've told. It's been eating away at me for the past year."

"April 26^th is the one year anniversary of my mom's death, May 16^th is Heather's."

"Don't be. You're hurt, and you're confused. Just remember Buffy, if anything ever bugs you, come talk to me. Cuz, if you don't, I'll feel it, I'll hunt you down and there'll be Hell to pay." I say with a smile.

"If you desperately need to talk, even if it's 2 o'clock in the morning, I'll talk. Just please, try not to at 2 o'clock."

"I thought so," She laughs. She puts an arm around my shoulder and we head back to the library.

Buffy and I make it back to the library in much better moods. We also have a new understanding of each other. I just hope she gives Faith a chance. She goes up to Faith and says something to her (I could hear if I want to, but it must be private). Faith looks kinda confused but follows Buffy out of the library. I take a seat beside Willow.

Oh, my God. This has to stop. I wish she would just ask my sister out already. They need to stop dancing around this and start a relationship. Or something like that. I really don't care. Both are too shy for their own good. "I don't think so. Unless she has a project or a paper to work on I don't think she's doing anything."

Ok, that's it. I'm getting Faith to help me on this. Maybe I can get Buffy too. They walk in as soon as I finish thinking that. Speak of the devils and they shall appear, I guess. Both have small smiles on their faces and both are more relaxed. I guess they talked some things through. That's good, because I need both of their cooperation for what I have planned.

I shrug too "I dunno. Anyway. The reason I asked you two out here. Tara and Willow have been eyeing each other since we met you guys. They really like each other in a relationship kinda way. But both are too shy to do anything about. So, our job is to help them."

"Simple. We can take them out tomorrow night, we'll say it's a "girl's night" or something, then get them together."

The Bronze is pretty packed tonight. It's my first time being in here. Not how I pictured it. But whatever. I have a mission to do. I recruited Buffy and Faith to help me with it. We convinced Tara and Willow to come slaying with us, and join us in a little post-slayage fun. They have absolutely no clue what we really have planned for them.

The five of us talk for a while, just enjoying each other's company (I don't think I can get any closer to Faith, without sitting on her lap). Tara says something Willow is really interested in. I look at Buffy and raise my eyebrow (the signal we made), and then I turn to Faith and do the same thing. They nod. I take Faith's hand, and lead her to the dance floor, while Buffy goes to the bar to get something to drink. On the dance floor, I turn back to look at them. They are so caught up in what they're talking about; they don't notice we're not there anymore. Perfect. That's how I wanted it.

Faith and I dance to some random song. I don't even know what's playing. I just move. Same with Faith. I then see Buffy go back to our table and put the drinks down. She looks at Willow and Tara for a second, then turns to us and rubs her nose. That's our cue. I grab Faith's hand, and then lead her back to our table. Buffy is standing behind Willow, and Faith stands behind Tara. They are so caught up in each other they don't notice us. It's working too perfectly. I stand beside both of them, look at Buffy and Faith, and then nod. Buffy gently pushes Willow from behind (mind you, a gentle push from a Slayer is like getting shoved hard from a regular person). Willow falls on top Tara. Tara catches her, and then looks her straight in the eye. Next thing you know, there's a make out session goin' on. Buffy, Faith and I look at each other with grins on our faces. Our mission complete, we move away to find an empty table.

We find one and sit at it. "Well, ladies. We did it." Buffy says as she raises her glass.

"To Willow and Tara. May they find happiness with each other," I say as we clink our glasses together. We finish off our drinks. Mine's non-alcoholic of course. Not going down that road.

"Well, girls, it's been great, but I gotta get home. I'll see ya tomorrow." Buffy says and gets up to leave.

I look over at the table we left Tara and Willow. They aren't there anymore. In fact I don't think they're in the building. I can't sense Tara. With a smile I look at Faith.

"Oh, nothing. I'm just glad Willow and Tara finally got over themselves and got together."

"Speaking of relationships…"I trail off and look at her. She can see in my face what I want to discuss.

"I don't think this is the place to discuss that. Let's get outta here." We head out of the Bronze. We start walking in a random direction. I didn't notice how loud it was in there. I can still hear the bass two blocks away. I spot a park ahead of us and walk towards it. Once we get there, I go straight for the swings. My mom used to push me on them all the time when I was little. They remind me of her. Faith sits on the swing next to me.

"Us. You asked me out on a date. You said just to hang out, but I know what you meant. You don't usually do that do you?"

"I dunno. I don't know what came over me. I see someone I want, take 'em to my place or wherever, have my way with 'em and leave. That's how I always do things. But, I dunno. There's just something about you. I don't wanna use you. It's a pretty scary feeling for me."

"Yeah. Well, I understand how you're feeling. I feel it from you. I understand you're confused," I look at the sky. It's crystal clear out tonight, not a single cloud. "You've never had someone love you have you? I mean truly love you."

"Sounds good to me." Then she kisses me. I can't believe no one has ever really loved her. How can they not? Ok, she has some emotional baggage, but who doesn't? I guess I just see what other people don't. My girlfriend (wow, girlfriend. That feels so cool to say) pulls away. I smile at her and she smiles back.

"After the show those two put on earlier, I don't Tara's gonna be in any rush to get home." I say with another smile.

I get off the swing, and start walking in the direction of home. As she walks beside me, my hand seeks hers. She seems a little surprised at first but she accepts it and doesn't pull away.

We get to the door, and I unlock it. I walk in first and turn on the lights. Once she's inside I start gettin' a little self-conscious. I mean there isn't much in my home. We have a futon, a really crappy coffee table, plastic milk containers that are used as end tables, footrests, and TV stand. The milk containers are covered with cheap bed sheets we got at the thrift shop. In fact, everything we own pretty much is form the thrift shop. The TV itself has a twelve-inch screen, is black and white and only gets five channels. The futon is the only thing we have to sit on.

"Milk…Water…We might have Kool-aid…But I suggest going for the water. Dunno how long the milk has been in there."

I can never remember for some weird reason which cupboard the cups are in. I always go to the one by the fridge. Oh, wait. I know why I go there. That's where the cups were at our old home. Before mom died…

I have to sit beside her from lack of other seating alternatives. I'm not complaining mind you. Faith sits back and puts her feet on the table.

I glance at my watch. It's 2:15 in the morning. I'm up just a little passed my bedtime. I'm not even finished that thought and I'm yawning. I think it's a psychological thing personally.

"Well, you know it's passed your bedtime. All good little puppies are supposed to be in bed now."

"We just have to keep our clothes on, huh?" She has a very…suggestive… smirk on her face.

I roll my eyes, "Yes." I head upstairs to get some spare blankets. I figure one for me; one for her is how Tara would like it. I also go into my drawer and take out a spare set of boxers and a baggy t-shirt for her. I bring the clothes and blankets downstairs. I set the blankets on the futon and hand her the pajamas.

She gives me a pouty lip and disappointed look, and begrudgingly heads upstairs. I roll my eyes at her. I fold the futon down, put one blanket on one half with a pillow, and the other on the other half with a pillow. I head upstairs to my room and change into some flannel boxers and my Calgary Flames t-shirt. After I crack my back and my shoulders I head back downstairs. She's already lying on the futon under the comforters. I turn out all the lights, and then snuggle into my spot on the bed. I lean over and kiss her cheek.

I can feel how badly she wants me. Her body's hot, and she's breathin' kinda heavy. It's gettin' me worked up too. But I don't wanna have my fist time at fourteen, especially with someone whom I've only been with for only a few days. I'm not that kinda person. She's tryin' not to as well. This is gonna be a long night.

I wake up, and find I'm lying on something warm and soft. I open my eyes and discover I'm lying on top of Faith. Mom always told me I was a snuggler. Didn't really believe her until now. Then again, mom was hardly ever wrong. Except when she chose to stay with that sorry excuse for a man instead of my dad….

I gently get off Faith so I won't wake her. She doesn't even twitch. I head upstairs to the bathroom. God, I have bad morning breath. As I get some toothpaste on my toothbrush, I notice something. Tara isn't home. I let my senses scan the house. Nope, I only detect a Slayer. I really hope she stayed with Willow and something bad didn't happen. It's not like we have a phone to call anyone with. Mental note: remind Tara (if she's ok) to save up for a phone. I finish brushing my teeth and head to my room to change. I grab a random t-shirt and jeans. Ehh, as long as they're clean, I really don't care. I head back downstairs to see if Faith is up yet. And surely enough, she isn't. She's moved over to my side of the bed, with her face buried in my pillow. I wish I had a camera. This is too priceless. She's even snoring a little. I really don't wanna wake the sleeping beauty, but I gotta so we can find out what happened to Tara.

"Oh, Faithy." I say in a sing-song voice. I think I saw a twitch. "Faithy, time to get up babe."

I gently shake her shoulder. "C'mon, babe. Time to wake up and start a new day."

"Good." She uses her blanket to cover her head. I yank it off her. She sleepily/angrily turns to me. "What the fuck was that?"

"I told you, it's time to get up. Tara didn't come home last night. I wanna go see if I can find her."

She's up in a flash (but she stumbles a little). "Well, why didn't ya say that?"

She heads upstairs while I clean up the bed. I fold the blankets and sit them near the bed with the pillows on top. Then I push the bed back into it's couchish position. I finish and flop down on it. I don't even get time to relax and she's down the stairs, completely dressed.

I nod and get up. She opens the door and heads out. I find my keys and lock the door.

"You must be Mackenzie. Hi, Faith. Yes, she is. Just a minute." She turns from the door and calls Buffy. She lets us into the house.

"Tara didn't come home last night. I just wondering if you knew Willow's number or something."

"Won't you girls come sit? I'm the couch is more comfy than standing in the hallway." Mrs. Summers offers.

Faith and I go sit on the couch. Mrs. Summers offers us something to drink. We both accept water, she heads into the kitchen to get us some. She's kinda like my own mom…

I can hear Buffy, "So she is? Mac and Faith are here….A few minutes ago…I dunno…I guess so…Ok, I'll tell them."

Before I can reply to that (not like I could, cuz I know it's true) Buffy comes into the living room, "Tara stayed the night with Willow. They fell asleep and I woke them up. Tara's gonna be here in a few minutes."

Mrs. Summers comes back in with our water. "Would you girls like something else? A snack? I just made some cookies."

"Um, yes please." There's no way she's gonna let us out of this house until she's fed us something, so we may as well eat. Forget what I said before. She's more like my Aunty Amber than my mom.

"I really need to use the little Slayers room. Be right back." Buffy takes off up stairs.

"There's the Bronze…but you can only dance for so long before it gets kinda boring…um…there really isn't much to do here."

"Oh, like a date?" She asks teasingly. We hesitate to answer. "It is a date isn't it?"

"Ah, I see. Just a hint, for good first dates, is the park. There's a good one over by Harwood drive. Bring something to eat and have a little picnic or something."

Buffy smiles at us, "So, you two gettin' with the relationship business? That's so cool!"

"We'd appreciate it if you didn't say anything to anyone until we have time to get used to it ourselves." Faith asks.

"My lips are sealed." She smiles and makes a show of pulling a zipper across her lips. Normally I would just roll my eyes and tell the person doing that to get a life (I think it's a stupid thing to do personally), but Buffy actually looks kinda cute doing it. "So, do you even want to patrol tonight?"

"In the name of love, I do not mind", She has a smile on her face. It's genuine. She's actually happy for us. I can tell she's about to ask us more but we're saved by a knock at the door.

Buffy answers it and all you can hear is, "I-I-I'm s-s-s-o s-s-sorry!" Hear comes the infamous Tara stutter. She comes into the living room and starts blabbering away, "Mac, I-I-I-I'm s-s-s-o s-s-s-sorry! I-I-I d-didn't n-n-notice t-the t-time l-l-last n-n-night!" Tara has a naturally mild occurring stutter, but as you can tell the more nervous or embarrassed she is, the worse it gets. Most people find it irritating and don't listen to her. I've lived with it for fourteen years, so I guess I'm kinda immune to it. If people took the time to learn the stutter's origins, I'd bet they would actually take the time to listen to her. When I say "the stutter's origins" I mean events in our lives that lead up to her speech impediment.

"Tara, it's ok. You're allowed to go out every now and then. I was fine at home, Faith stayed with me. Nothing happened to me. And it's not like we have a phone so you couldn't have called." She can't argue with that.

"Is that ok? I mean, I should have asked you if it was alright before hand but-"

"Mac, it's ok. As you s-said, I-I wasn't home." The stutter is almost gone. She's relaxed somewhat at least.

"I should probably get goin'. Got stuff to do today." Faith says as she gets up. I get up too.

Mrs. Summers comes in with a plate of cookies. "Faith left? She didn't get a cookie." She's so disappointed, it's funny.

"Won't you girls take a cookie for the road?" I knew she wouldn't let us leave without feeding us. Tara and I take two each, decline an offer for a ride, since it's such a nice day out (like they're so rare in California), and say our goodbyes and leave.

We walk in silence for a while; just enjoying the weather and each other's company.

"You set Willow and I up. I've been attracted to her for so long but I couldn't say anything."

"I noticed. And it was annoying me to no end. That's why I got Faith and Buffy to help set you up last night. So, you two connected I guess."

It's five minutes after seven and Faith still hasn't shown up. I'm not too worried though. She's a Slayer; maybe some vamps jumped her on the way here. I'll wait another twenty minutes before I start gettin' worried. There's a knock at the door. Speak of the devil. I open the door and my breath catches in my throat. There's Faith standing there, backpack over one shoulder, wearing a leather jacket, blue jeans, and plain white top. Not her usual attire, of tight fitting leather pants and skimpy tank top. She's also holding a bouquet of mixed flowers. She looks stunning in the porch light.

I take them and smell them. The different flowers give off different smells, very nice. "Thank you." I put them by the door so I won't forget to put them in water later.

Harwood Park is only five minutes from my place. The walk there seems shorter though for some reason. It's a big park. I dunno how big though. A forest connects to it, so it kinda throws my estimation off.

We find a nice spot under a tree. Faith kneels down and unzips her backpack. She's pulling out a blanket, thermos, two plastic cups, four small flat containers and two forks. She spreads the blanket out and sits with her back to the tree. She spreads her legs and pats her thighs. I sit between her legs with my back to her chest.

It's tea. Not just any tea, but Celestial Herbal Mint Tea. My mom used to work at Safeway, so she was able to get it for free for me. How'd she know this is my favorite?

"I stopped by earlier and asked your sister what you'd like to eat tonight. She said you went for a jog."

Ah. I see. I thought I smelt her when I came back from jogging but I thought it was just from the night before.

"For the main course we have Greek salad, with extra green peppers and fresh baked rye bread." It's a bit of a strange combination, I know, but my mom made it all the time (when we had money). It really means a lot to me she took the time to find out my favorite dish and buy it for me.

"Wait, we still have dessert." In the other containers are two slices of blueberry cheesecake. This was an exceptionally rare treat back home. Once every couple years if we were lucky. As she hands me a slice I press my lips to hers kinda hard.

"What was that for? Not that I'm complain' mind ya." She asks after we pull apart.

"You went through all this trouble to get my favorite meal. No one has done that except my mom and Tara."

"I'll be honest and say the people at the diner where Mouse works helped me out."

"I'll remember to thank them next time I see them." It's good cheesecake. Not as good as mom's, but still good.

We finish our dessert and put all the containers back in the backpack. Faith rests against the tree again and I rest against her. She goes to put her arms around me but hesitates. I help her out by wrapping them around me. She relaxes and holds me tight against her. It's completely clear out tonight. It's warm without being hot. It's perfect. I can hear the crickets chirping, the gentle breeze, and the various smells that a town of Sunnydale's size has to offer.

Huh? Go? We just got here! I look at my watch. It's after eleven. I guess I fell asleep. I help her wrap the blanket up and stuff it in the bag. This time when we start walking she seeks my hand. I smile and accept. All too soon we make it to my front door.

"I'd have to say this is the best date I've ever been on. Ok, it's my first real date too. I had a good time too."

In my room upstairs I watch her walk down the street. I look at the sky and spot my star. I open my window.

"I never thought you would send someone like her. She's not the type of girl I would think you would approve of. You've obviously got something big planned. Whatever it is, thank you.

"I miss you. It's still hard everyday waking up, expecting to find you, and you aren't there. It's hard gettin' by, but we are. Tara's tryin' so hard. I hear her crying at night, saying how much she misses you in her sleep. I wish you were here. You'd make it all better without saying a word.

"I need some sleep; I'll talk to you tomorrow night. Goodnight Mom, I love you." The star twinkles at me.

It's now one o'clock in the morning and I can't sleep. My body's acting up. I'm really hot. It's not surprising. The Change is coming. And it's coming full force. I haven't Changed in over four months. That's too long. I need to Change at least once a week. I said before that with experience the Changes happen in a split second. Not when you haven't done it in over four months. The Change happens slowly, your body needs time to readjust itself so it can take the pressure of Changing.

I'm full out sweating now. I need to get out of here before the Change happens. Cuz when it does, I'm gonna be screaming. I don't want Tara to listen to it. My vision is blurred as I climb out of bed. I stumble to the door and out into the hall. Somehow I make it down the stairs without falling and killing myself.

Somehow I blindly make it outside. I need to get to Harwood Park. I stumble and stagger my way there, occasionally tripping on my feet. Finally I make it to the park. I just need to get to the cover of the forest. The muscles in my legs cramp up and twist. I start falling over and realize I fall on a tree. Yes, the forest. I walk farther, trying to get as far in the shelter of trees as I can.

I don't get much farther before I fall down face first from weak legs. The muscles are still twitching and cramping. They're tying themselves in knots, making themselves wolf muscles. My arms are doing the same thing. A sharp pain enters my stomach as it makes itself bigger. My organs alter their size. And none too gently mind you. I'm writhing on the ground in pain. I flip on to my back. It arches involuntarily from the spasms and breaking bones. It feels like I'm being ripped apart. My heart is pumping like crazy trying to get blood and oxygen to my morphing muscles. My lungs burn. The bones are starting to break and realign themselves. All I can hear is the sickening sound of my bones breaking. It sounds like the crunch of several celery stalks make when you break them. My hands grow wider and my fingers acquire claws. The hair on my body becomes thicker, darker and longer. My mouth forms into a muzzle. I scream. The scream turns into a wolf howl.

It's all over. Except for an occasional muscle spasm. I'm left breathing hard. I need to stay laying down a few minutes, get my heart rate back to normal. The wind shifts ever so slightly and I pick up a scent. It's Tara. She kneels close to me where I can see her.

"I figured you'd be out here. It's been a w-while hasn't it? You really should know better. But we've been really busy lately. I just came out here to see that you were still alive." She gets up to leave. I whine. She turns back to me. "Do you want me to stay?" Since I can't really answer her, I wag my tail. She laughs softly, "Ok, I'll stay."

She sits beside me. I wait a few more minutes before I decide standing shouldn't be a problem. I get up and expect my muscles to ache, but surprisingly they don't. That's a relief. I shake my fur to get the dead leaves and twigs out of it. My fur is black, just like my hair. If my hair was brown, my fur would be brown and so on. Hair color and eye color/shape are the only things from my human form that stay the same in my wolf form. I look just like a regular wolf, except I'm much bigger. I come to about Tara's forehead so that would make me…about five feet, three inches. And I'm the smallest wolf in my Pack. My body is much more muscular and toned than a regular wolves. I stretch a few times and shake my fur again. I wanna run.

I go over to Tara and start tugging on her sleeve. "What? You wanna run don't you? You know I can't keep up with you." I whine and pull again. "Ok, ok. Let's go."

She barely has the answer out and I'm running. I know she can't keep up with me. But it's a wolf thing. I'm running with my sister. More like running from my sister. Hunter and prey. It excites me. My paws hit the forest floor with dull thumps. My nails lightly scrape the earth as I run along it. My muscles burn with unused energy and excitement.

The wind shifts ever so slightly. Wait a second! I come to a screeching halt, and sniff around me. Yup, there's something else in here with us. I think it's a vamp. I sniff again. Yup, definitely vamp. But there's more than one…Great.

Tara finally catches up to me. She's about to say something but takes a good look at my posture and thinks twice. My body is ridged, ears straight, tail up. I turn my ears to listen around me. They're good. They're being super quiet. C'mon guys…just one little slip, step on a twig or somethin'. There! A twig snapped! It's to my left. I bolt silently in that direction. Instead of heading straight I take a right path, just so I'm just out of sight. They're just up ahead. Stupid vamps. There are two of them. And they're hunting together. Someone should teach them a thing or two about hunting.

I run ahead just a little bit more so I'm right behind them. The wind is blowing their scent to me. I hope it stays that way for an extra minute. If it turns my plan is shot. I follow them silently, listening to their stupid conversation.

"Dude, I get this one! You got the last one." Tall dark and ugly says. Let's call him Joe.

"Shh! I'm the leader and you're the follower for a reason ya dumb fuck! I've told ya before, shut up when we're huntin', so SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Good whispering skills guys. I'm sure Dill from Stickin' Around would be impressed. Let's call this one Bob.

This isn't even laughable, it's so easy. I jump on the so-called ringleader's back and bite into his neck. He howls in pain. His partner just stands there like the idiot he is. Bob is tryin' his best to get me off, and it ain't workin'. Joe goes to get me off Bob's back but he disappears. I risk a quick glance to see where he went. Tara used some magic to throw him against a tree. I guess he landed on a branch, cuz he ain't there anymore. Bob is still tryin' desperately to get me off of him. I let go and fall off of him. He checks his neck for wounds (duh, a wolf just bit you on the neck ya dummy). He turns to me with fear written all over him. It's also rollin' off of him in waves. It smells and feels good. I give a doggy smile before lunging at him again. He doesn't even get time to react. I sink my teeth in on both sides of his face. He screams in pain. The more he screams, the harder I bite down.

I'm a wolf. I can't help it if he was tryin' to hurt my Pack (even if my Pack consist of two people). I shrug.

She sighs. Then she breaks a branch off of a tree and pushes it through his heart. He's dust.

I shrug. Normally I would have turned back into my human form by now. But since I haven't Changed in over four months, I need to be a wolf at least until sunrise. Which'll be in about three hours. I still wanna run. I look at Tara. She knows what I'm thinking.

I'd prefer some company but I know she can't keep up with me. Maybe I can convince Buffy and Faith to go for a run some time. I turn and run deeper into the forest. The wind blows in my fur. My paws thump the ground. I run for what feels like forever. I'm finally starting to get tired. I come to a stop and sit. My trusty nose picks up a scent. A very familiar scent. I turn my head slightly to the left and wouldn't you know it. A rabbit is happily hopping around and eating some berries. It's happily hopping now but I guarantee in about five seconds it's be hopping madly. I slowly stalk towards it. I walk so my paws don't crunch the dead leaves. I'm about ten feet from the rabbit now. Suddenly, the wind shifts. The rabbit picks up my scent. It hops/runs away madly. I don't go full tilt after it. I'm waiting for it to tire itself out. I chase it for a couple of minutes. Finally it starts slowing down. I put a little extra 'oomph' in my step and sink my teeth in its neck. It squeals in pain. I quickly turn in over in my jaws and bite down hard on its throat. Its body jerks a few times. I bite down harder, just in case. It finally stops moving. I lie down and start eating my meal. Mmmm, raw rabbit. My human side is disgusted by the prospect but my wolf side is happy happy. I tear at the flesh in chunks. I hardly chew it before I swallow it.

My meal finished I sniff the air. I smell a stream about thirty feet away. I walk to it. It's a small stream. But hey, it's water. I crouch down and drink greedily. It's nice and cold. It's cooling down my hot body. With my thirst quenched I look around for something else to eat. Not just because I'm hungry, but to cure me of raw meat breath. There's a raspberry bush a few feet away. I walk over to it and eat a few off the branch. They're kinda tart. Oh well. I eat a few more. It won't cure me of my bad breath but at least it won't be as strong. I head back to where I left Tara. I like walking through the woods. Soothes both human and beast sides of me. A rabbit runs across my path. I let it go. Not in the mood for another kill. I didn't realize how far I'd run earlier. I'm still quite a ways from the edge of the forest. Ah, never mind, there it is. I can see Tara sitting against a tree. She's lost in thought. I walk up to her and lie down. She looks down at me and smiles. I put my head on her lap. She scratches behind my ear. It's a normal human action to a dog. Mackenzie the human is embarrassed but Mackenzie the wolf doesn't mind.

I don't think so. I think I still have about a half hour before I can. But hey, it's worth a shot right? I stand up. I concentrate on my human form. I can feel my body doing the same alterations it did before but at a much faster and painless rate. It takes about thirty seconds this time for me to revert back to my human form. I arch my back and rotate my shoulders.

One thing I'm thankful for is unlike most werewolf species, my clothes don't rip and shred when I Change. They…I dunno…become a part of my skin I guess. When I Change back into my human form my clothes are in perfect condition. I crack my knuckles. I pause. Knuckles. I look at my left hand. The cast is gone. I flex my fingers. Good as new. I smile.

She turns to me, "Why?" I show her my hand. She takes it to inspect it. "It's completely healed. Yeah, I guess we will have to cancel."

It's the first night of the full moon. Oz is gonna be Changing tonight. Since Willow and Tara have a date, as do Cordelia and Xander, (strange combination but whatever floats your boat, I guess), and Giles and Buffy have to go out patrolling, so it's just Faith and me. This is gonna be interesting. I'm gonna be in a room all night with my girlfriend with nothing to do. This can lead to…things.

The official unspoken slogan of my Pack is the three F's: Feeding, Fighting and…reproduction. Feeding I can handle. Fighting leads to things my body can't control which leads to…reproduction type activities. Especially with my girlfriend around who's a very sexual creature. This is gonna make this a long night.

I've brought three bottles of ice water (in case I need to cool myself down (I made sure I'm not wearing a white t-shirt)), and a whole bunch of snacks Ed and Annie gave me. Of course they had to give me lots of food. I have to eat roughly five times a day. Werewolf metabolism. Food gives me energy; no food means I literally have to drag myself around.

I look at the clock on the wall. It's four thirty now. Faith should be here soon.

He's so considerate. I lock the cage door. He sits down in a corner, his head bobbin' to some music in his head. I walk into Giles' office and put my water in his mini fridge. Buffy and I convinced him to get it. It wasn't really that hard (Buffy grabbed his credit card while I stood in line with it and we paid for it). I have to shift some things around so my bottles can fit. Giles protested gettin' it, but obviously he doesn't mind havin' it now.

I head back to the table and pull my things out of my bag. Typical stuff for boredom; diskman, CD's, paper, pencil crayons, books. I grab the diskman and stare at it and run my fingers over it. It's not mine. It's Heather's. Just lookin' at it brings back memories. I grip it tightly and put it back in the bag. I pull out my book and sit back to read it. I'm reading The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks. It's about this guy who falls in love with this girl, but he goes away to war. When he comes back she's about to marry someone else. She has to make a choice; does she marry the new guy or her old lover? Yeah, the story's been done before but Nicholas Sparks brings a new feeling to it. I love his writing.

Mom made a deal with me a long time ago; I finish a book and I get another one. Tara has continued that tradition. I'm almost finished this one. I want A Walk To Remember next. It's also by Nicholas Sparks. When I finish that I want The Golden Compass by Philip Pullman. Yup, I got it all planned out. Mom got me hooked on reading when I was really young. I loved listening to her voice as she read the words. We had Winnie The Pooh books, I asked her to read them all the time. The first book I learnt to read all by myself was Winnie The Pooh and the Blustery Day. I was so proud that I read it. That night we had blueberry cheesecake. I've never forgotten it.

Besides, reading was a way to escape Mark and Donny. Mark is Tara's dad, Donny is my half brother and Tara's full brother. I don't consider him family though. Mom gave birth to him, that's it. He's just a carbon copy of his father. I'm so glad I'm not related to Mark at all. I think that pissed him off more. He couldn't hit me as much as he did Tara because I wasn't his offspring. Didn't stop him most of the time unfortunately. That's why we ran away. After Mom died, Mark was free to do as he wished to Tara and me. And did he ever. The day he threw me down the stairs was too much for Tara (he dislocated my shoulder). We ran away that night. Whenever I go out I constantly search for his van in case he's found us and has come to take us back to Vancouver. I personally am not scared of him. I'm just scared of what he could do to Tara. I would kill him if he ever touched her again. He can hit me all he wants, but don't be messing with my sister. Tara is too soft hearted to hit back. I'm not. I can dish out just as well as I take.

Something crashes in the book cage. I look over and see Oz doubled over in pain. I get up and go into Giles' office. I know from personal experience that when you Change, you want privacy. Even around others of your own species, you don't want people looking at you. I stand in there for a few minutes. When it's fairly quiet I head back to my spot. Werewolf Oz is pacing in the cage. He spots me and growls. I growl back. He tilts his head at me. I go to the cage and rest my palm against it. He sniffs my hand then licks it. He knows I mean him no harm. He smells the wolf in me. He goes into a corner and lies down.

Oz is a fairly common type of wolf. He looks likes a mini gorilla mixed with a dog. Very ugly, very violent. They may seem docile but wait until you agitate one. And it doesn't take much.

Half and hour later Faith finally shows up. Oz growls from his cage. She barks at him. He growls more.

I shake my head and go back to reading my book. She sits beside and very sensually rubs her hand along my thigh. "Miss me?"

"No need to get sarcastic." She leans close and licks the outside of my ear. "I can change your mind though." She has that sensual grin.

"Oh, I can." She runs her hand higher up my thigh. If she keeps this up Oz is gonna get a free show and I'm gonna walk outta here a non-virgin. She knows exactly what she's doing. And it's working.

She gives me a predatory smile. I probably shouldn't have said that. Her mouth is on mine and all thoughts go out the window. Her hand moves from my thigh to my shirt. It slips underneath and rests on my stomach. Her other hand joins it. She grabs me by the waist and pulls me into her lap. And she does it without breaking the kiss. I'm impressed. Her hands rest on my hips. I wrap my arms around her neck.

I kiss her one more time before sliding off of her. I don't get very far. Her hands tighten around my sides and she pulls me back onto her lap.

"Where do you think you're goin'? I'm not finished yet." And true to her word she starts kissing me again. Her lips leave mine and before I can protest she starts kissing my neck. She finds the pulse point and sucks on it. I can't help the moan that comes out of me. It seems to encourage her, because she's sucking harder. Her hands lightly run up and down my sides. I hear a bark from behind me. I turn and see Oz is really intrigued as to what we're doin'.

I raise an eyebrow, "You mean you don't mind an ugly, furry monster of death is watching us while we make out?"

I laugh and get the diskman outta my bag. I hand it to her and go digging for my CD case. I find it and stare at it for a second. It holds twenty CD's, its gray and black, has Tweety on it with 'Looney Tunes' written in yellow. Get it? Looney Tunes? CD case? Yeah, that's what I thought when I got it. Heather bought it for me. She laughed for like five minutes straight when she (finally) figured out the joke.

"Pretty much everything, AC DC, Van Halen, BonJovi, Shania Twain, Terri Clark, BIF Naked."

I get the CD out of its place in the case, put it in the diskman and hand it to her. She takes it and puts the headphones on. Her head starts bobbin' to the music, she must be listening to Chocking On The Truth. I take Willow's laptop and hook it up. She left it here tonight so I could use it. Mighty nice of her. I head to calgaryflames.com to see how my boys are doing. Valeri Bure has seventy-five points. That's the most on the team. Jarome Iginla is pretty close with sixty-three points. Personally, Iginla's the best. Nothing against Bure, just he's the brother of a former Vancouver Canuck. Ok, that's something against him. Sue me.

Faith is dancing all by herself to the beat of BIF Naked. She has it so loud I can hear BIF singing. She's listening to Leader.

She plays it again after it finishes. I like that song too, but I prefer Religion. And it's now stuck in my head. Great. Oh, I know how I can get it out. Willow made me a mixed CD of Shania Twain songs. Good thing she left her pair of headphones here. I put the CD in the CD player in her laptop and push play. What Made Ya Say That? flows through the headphones:

As I listen to the song I realize something: I think I'm in love with Faith. I watch her still dancing to BIF Naked while I contemplate this. I want to be near her all the time, my heart speeds up a little when she's near, and I know I would do pretty much anything for her. Are these feelings reciprocated? I'm sure they could be. She definitely feels something for me. But she's scared and confused. She told me herself no one has ever really loved her. There's no doubt in my mind that she does know how to care for someone. She just doesn't know how to show it. Or even how she's supposed to react to these feelings. This is starting to give me a headache.

"You can borrow the diskman too if you want. Just remember; you break it, I break you."

Her whole demeanor changes. She's no longer joking. She wants to comfort me. She doesn't know how. It's making her frustrated and embarrassed. I put my hand on hers.

"My Watcher, Brooke, was killed in front of me. I couldn't do anything to save her."

I am so stupid. I actually picked up on her lying. I was just too dense to realize she wasn't telling the truth.

"I got a lead on this vamp. Was told he was really powerful, really old. I'd get on the Council's good side if I took him down. He found out about me, what I was planning. He captured Brooke. Made me come to rescue her. It was a trap of course. Tied me to a chair while he slowly tortured her. I don't even know how I got out. I just know I ran and ran." She swallows hard. I get up and hug her. She's a little shocked by the sudden movement but she makes no attempt to move.

Kakistos…that name sounds familiar…I may have heard dad mention him once…a picture springs to mind. Yup, I know him.

"It's not stupid at all. Very accurate, young lady." A male voice says from behind us.

Faith's face goes white. Her eyes go wide. She starts shaking. I turn and see Kakistos standing behind us in the front entrance of the library. He looks directly at Faith and grins very evilly.

"Now, now Faith. It wasn't nice to run away before I could finish with you. Say you're sorry and I'll kill you quickly as well as your little friend here."

I turn back to Faith. She's trying not to show fear and not doing a very good job of it.

"Obviously she doesn't feel like talking to you. So I suggest you come back when she does. Which'll be never." That was probably a stupid move on my part.

He looks at me. "Oh, feisty. Just how I like 'em. Better idea Faith, I knock you out, take your girlfriend, have some fun with her, and kill her when you try to rescue her. It was so much fun last time I want to do it again. Doesn't that sound like fun?"

Faith is still shacking. He must have really scared her the last time they met (well, duh, he killed her Watcher in front of her.)

That brief glance I gave Faith was enough to distract me so Kakistos can grab me. He wraps his ugly hands around my throat and starts dragging me to the entrance.

That's enough to snap her out of her stupor. She charges Kakistos. He simply knocks her on the side of her head. She stumbles. She comes at him again. He kicks her in the stomach, sending her backward. I decide to pull a very stereotypical damsel in distress move: I bite his hand. And it works. He jerks his hand away. I run over to Oz's cage. He's barking, growling and clawing at the cage trying to get out. I unlock it. He goes after Kakistos. He picks up a chair from the table and hits Oz with it. Oz goes flying and lands against a bookcase. He's out cold. Kakistos still has a chair leg in his hand. Faith doesn't see it. She comes at him. He hits her on the temple with it. She drops to the floor unconscious.

"Faith!" I run to her but before I reach her he grabs me again. I put up a struggle this time. I twist and turn. I feel a sharp pain on the side of my head then everything goes black.

Ow, my head hurts. Whoa, feelin' a little nauseas. The world is spinnin'. And I haven't even opened my eyes yet. I try to. Blinding light makes me shut them again.

"Ah, she comes to. Good evening my dear. Sorry about the knock on the head but if you just cooperated with me, I wouldn't have had to do that." Great, tall, old and super ugly is here. I finally get my eyes open without it hurting. Alright…. I'm tied to a chair. How original. At least it's with chains and not ropes.

"I figured with a vamp your age you would have come up with something a little more original to confine me with. Tied to a chair? Please, that is so cliché."

"You know, I was thinking that. I was thinking of chaining you to a wall in a cell. Then, when your girlfriend showed up, let some Degares demons have some fun with you after I did. But I thought: Why? Why should I let some ugly brutes have part of the fun when I could have it all? Your girlfriend will be tied up when we catch her. You have werewolf strength so you can break those bonds. When you do, I'll chase you down and torture you. Just for the amusement of watching Faith watch someone she cares about die. All over again. It really is fun. You should try it sometime. Oh, wait. You won't live long enough to. Damn. So sorry dear."

"You think Degares demons are ugly? Try looking in a mirror. Oh, wait, you can't! So sorry dear."

He sneers at me. He runs an ugly cloven hand across a diagonal scar on his left eye. "You see this? Your pesky girlfriend gave it to me the last time we met. And these", he shows me his ugly hands, "Are from age."

"It's just I know this one guy. He has cloven hands like you. Actually, his hands are exactly like yours. Only his aren't from age. A Seaceas attacked him. Very weak demons. All they do is shoot an acid from their mouths. It has to be on your skin for quite a while for it to do any sort of damage. You have to be pretty pathetic to get cloven hands from them." He sneers at me again. "Oh. Testy. Not the reaction you'd expect from some one who got his cloven hands from age now is it? Hmm, makes me wonder…" I trail off and smirk at him.

His eye goes wide. He tries to cover it up with indifference. "Oh, really? And that's a problem because…?"

"You know why. You can't kill me. Well, yes, you can. But it doesn't matter. You know that when I die my body regenerates itself. You kill me, and I'll be dead two days at the most. Then I'll be walking around, stronger than before, ready to kill you. An' trust me, after what you put Faith through; I'll be glad to do it. I'll let her watch. Hell, I may even let her participate."

He's actually kinda scared now. Good. Dumb ass. He really should know better than to capture the third most powerful demon in existence. I may not be at my full power yet (I will be in a few years), but I'm still stronger than even Spuirts. And they open Hell Dimensions and are loyal servants to the Source. That says something about me. It's just my human form that's weak.

Suddenly, a few of his follower vamps go flying past us. When they hit the ground they dissipate into dust. He turns to the direction they came from. He gets thrown back several feet, hitting a wall. I turn and see Faith and Buffy come marching in. Both have pissed off looks on their faces and are carrying stakes. I'm glad I'm not a bad guy right about now. Kakistos gets up. He shakes his head. He calls some of his underling vamps in to take out the Slayers. Yeah, good luck.

I decide to join in on the fun. The chains are big. My arms are small. It's not even laughable how easy it is for me to wiggle my way out of them. Once the chains slip off me I get up. How did I get on the ground? I look at my legs. There's a smaller rope tied several times around my ankles. Maybe Kakistos isn't so stupid after all. Give me a false sense of hope. Jerk. I won't be able to get out of these ropes in my human form. My wolf form won't help either. There's only one form left. I shift into my demon form. I use my claws on the ropes. They're so sharp I barely touch run my claw down one of the ropes and it unravels. One down, four to go. I slice through them like a hot knife through butter. Easy.

Finally free, I turn to the battle. Buffy and Faith have ten vamps each they're trying to take down. Those odds are kind of unfair. I spread my wings and take to the air. I grab the nearest vamp by the collar of his shirt. Normally I would laugh at his confusion but now isn't the time. I throw him against the wall. I break a conveniently placed crate. I use one of the broken bits to stab his heart. His disappears in a cloud of dust. A vamp jumps on my back. I fling him off. He jumps to his feet. Fast little bastard. He comes at me. My foot connects with his jaw. He stumbles backward. The heel of my palm connects with his chin. His head snaps back and I drive the piece of wood through his heart. Damn, lost my weapon. Jerk took it with him.

Buffy and Faith have taken out their vamps. Kakistos is the only one left. Buffy and Faith assume fighting stances a few feet from him.

"Well, that didn't go as I had planned. It's so hard to find good minions these days. Oh, well. My plan still worked. I still got Faith here. And the other Slayer. This is too perfect. I got you right where I want you."

A cage opens up on the wall behind him. I suddenly realize we're in a warehouse. The bastard really does have Degares demons here. I'm a little slow, ok?

"Degares demons. Be careful. They may look dumb as a cow but they're as fast as a cheetah and stronger than a rhino."

They both look at me and are about to ask me something but the Degares attack us. One jumps at Buffy. I step in front of her and stop it. Its teeth and claws dig into my skin. Ah, that hurts. I grab its front feet and hold it at arms length. I twist its arms at different angles. It shrieks in pain. I drop it and kick it in the side. It rolls away from me. It tries several times to get up but it ain't goin' anywhere. I take a quick glance at Buffy and Faith. They're holding pretty well against the other Degares. I hear a soft scrape against the floor to my left. I turn and see Kakistos makin' a break for it.

She looks up form punching the demon. She spots Kakistos running towards the door. She punches the demon one more time then runs after him. Buffy resumes hitting the ugly brute. I turn back to mine. It's whimpering on the floor. I head back over to the crate I broke earlier and grab several pieces of broken wood. I walk back over to the Degares. It looks up at me and growls. I growl back. I shove a few of the pieces through its chest. It convulses a few times. Then nothing.

"Buffy!", She turns to me, "Take this!" I toss her a few makeshift stakes. She catches them with ease and drives them home into the demons chest.

I nod with a smile on my face. My human and demonic forms are similar but not quite. My demon form is almost like a representation of my future human self. My hair is still jet-black, and still falls to my shoulders. Except now I'm like six feet, seven inches tall. Asireous is also a helluva lot stronger and muscular than Mackenzie is. I actually have a six-pack. My skin is pure white. I have wings, which are also white. For some reason I can't fathom there's feathers on the inside of my wings. I wear a sports bra, army cargo pants, and combat boots, all of which are black. Don't ask me about my attire, I don't get it myself.

"Looks like you're ready to take on foreign armies, not demons. Except the wings."

"Dust. Had to use a fuckin' ceiling beam to bring the fucker down!" She looks at me, "Who the hell are you?"

I walk up to her and run a hand sensually up the inside of her right thigh. "You don't recognize me, babe? I'm hurt." I whisper in her ear.

She shivers. She has to look up to see my face now. "Dude, look at you! Yer fuckin' huge!"

"I'll explain it all tomorrow when everyone's at the library. I really don't wanna repeat myself. I got lots to say."

"I found Faith on the floor unconscious earlier, same with Oz. I just kinda shoved him back in his cage, woke Faith up, and told Giles to watch Oz while we rescued you. We really should check on Giles. He gets lonely if left too long by himself."

We start heading to the entrance. A sharp pain enters my chest. I look down and see a piece of wood sticking out of it. I touch my back and find the other half of it hanging there. It's resting either in or on one of my ribs. Ouch. I turn around and find a vampire standing behind me with a wicked smile on his lips.

"Thought you'd get away didn't ya? No one takes down Kakistos and gets away with it!"

By now Buffy and Faith have turned around. They see the piece of wood stuck in me. Faith gets a look of rage on her face and tackles the vamp. I sway a bit and fall to my knees. Buffy kneels down and tries to support me.

"It's no use Buffy. It's in my ribs and part of my lung." I'm starting to get hot and dizzy. It's hard to focus. "You need to get… me back…. home… Tara will know… what to… do." I pass out.

I'm not gonna be much use to anybody if I keep blacking out like this. This is so not cool. My forehead is wet…it feels like there's about eight blankets on me…I open my eyes. Oh, there are eight blankets on me. And there's a wet cloth on my head. Alrighty then. I try to sit up but with all this extra weight on me I can't really move. I sigh and lie back down. I hear someone coming down the hall. Several someones to be exact.

My door opens slowly. It's quiet until about halfway when it groans really loudly. Obviously these someones don't live here. Tara knows the door does that.

Buffy, Willow, Xander, Oz and Faith step in my room. I wasn't kidding I guess when I said 'several'. Faith sits beside me. Buffy sits on the other side, same with Willow. Xander and Oz (the manly men they are) stand by the bed.

"Well considering the circumstances, pretty damn well. I feel like I can take on the whole Hellmouth." I push some of the blankets away and sit up. I rest my back against the wall.

"That's what happened a few days ago isn't it? You died?" Buffy asks. But I think she already knows the answer.

"Yeah, I did." I look at Oz and Xander, "You guys might wanna sit, this is gonna take a while to explain." They both take a seat at the end of my bed. I clear my throat. "Alright. I'm known in the Demonic Underworld as Asireous. In some ancient demonic language it means 'Protector'. Basically my job is to protect the world from demonic forces."

"Right, just like the Slayer. Except my job is more focused on the higher-ranking demons, the ones in the Underworld. The Demonic Underworld is located near Hell. Instead of taking a left at the crossroad, you go right. The Underworld consists mostly of high-ranking demons from different species that 'live' together; they have meetings and stuff like that. The highest-ranking demon is known as the Source. No one equals the Source's power. The current Source has been around for over three thousand years. The only way to get a new Source is to kill the current one. Good luck. The Source is heavily guarded, and even if you manage to get past all the security the Source could squish you like a bug without even lifting a finger. I mean that literally too.

"Suffice to say no one disobeys the Source. No one pisses off the Source. You do, you're dead. That's why I haven't seen my dad in over six years; he's dimension hopping, trying to out run the Source's bounty hunters."

I shrug. "I dunno. He never explained to me what he did. Could be because dad kills his higher demons then mocks him. My dad's a good guy; he only kills the demons with the most power and are the most likely to hurt innocent people. Now that dad's gone it's kinda my job now. The only problem is, is I'm not at my full power. My demon form is but it's too much power for me, I don't know how to control her. Like I can't throw Energy Balls yet. My shimmering is off; I usually end up way off my target. I'm still workin' on that. The only downside of all this is I die. I die constantly. Sure it's only for a few days but it still. I've been stabbed, poisoned, I've drowned… haven't been decapitated yet…hope that doesn't happen." I say with a small smile.

"Please, don't aspire to be like me or anything." I smile at her and she smiles back.

There's a knock at the door. All of us turn and see Tara standing there. "Sorry to interrupt but suppers done."

"Thanks, Tara. Foodish goodness here we come!" Xander quips as everyone gets up and heads downstairs.

I noticed Faith hasn't said a word since she got here. As she gets up to leave with everyone, I grab her hand. She turns to me. I tug her back down to the bed.

She still doesn't say anything. She's looking everywhere around the room except at me.

"You don't get how worried and panicked I was when your heart stopped beating. I thought Kakistos killed you as in permanent dead! I thought he killed someone else I'm really close to. I couldn't take it!" Her voice is uneven, sounds like there's some tears in there.

I pull her to me. I rest her head on my shoulder and stroke her hair. "Faith, I'm ok. You're ok. Kakistos is dead. He can't hurt you anymore. There's nothing to worry about now."

"We can't bring back Brooke but maybe she can rest in peace now knowing you're finally ok."

I smack her on the shoulder. "Brat." I lean down and kiss her. "You better now?"

"Yeah. We should get downstairs. I need food." She gets off the bed and lends me her hand to get up.

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No More Need For Black Eyes And Blue Tears

by EarthGoddessTara

Copyright © 2004

Earthgoddesstara@hotmail.com