True Reflections by Crys Loch

Buffy, Willow and Xander were seated in the high school courtyard watching the cheerleaders pep and rally. Not because they were interested in whatever sport was being cheered on, but because Xander was there to watch Cordelia, and Buffy and Willow had simply followed him having nothing else to do before the after school Scooby meeting. Even Giles eventually wandered over to the group to see what they were doing.

He only paused for a moment when he realized they were doing nothing but hanging on the outskirts of the small crowd and that Xander was even the only one watching. Reminding the group it was time for the meeting, he started quickly towards the library. "Don't be long. There's the world to save again." And adding under his breath, "I may be a Watcher, but I refuse to watch this...tripe!"

They all ignored him for the moment. Willow couldn't stand it any longer, and turning to Buffy, expressed her growing frustration just loud enough for Buffy to hear. "I guess Xander was only interested in a girlfriend who can just barely spell words out loud in a short skirt."

"Okay, that went beyond 'meow' to the land of pointed and jaded." Buffy was surprised at the venom of the comment. "Claws coming out? Teeth getting a little fangy?"

"It's no worse than anything Cordelia's ever said." Willow defended. "My canines are no pointier than anyone else's canines! Here, feel for yourself!" Willow opened her mouth a little to show Buffy.

Buffy laughed, though a little nervously. "I'll pass and just believe you outright. One Cordelia is enough. It's just not like you."

"What is like me? No one even sees me. Or hears me. What does it matter?" Willow's face fell and she sighed.

"I see you." Buffy smiled. "Come on. Let's get the meeting over with. And you can tell me all about it on patrol tonight."

Buffy rose and slugged Xander on the shoulder. "Put your eyeballs back in their sockets. It's meeting time."

Trailing behind, Willow sighed as she watched Buffy ahead of her. "Not as much as I see you."

Willow was the last to enter the library. Seeing Xander grinning as he stared into nothing and knowing that nothing's name, anger fired the courage to try something she had read about earlier. First, she had to make the excuse out of there. "Buffy, there's a science lab for extra credit due tomorrow, so I'm going to do that instead. The world's not ending tonight anyway. You can catch me up on patrol later."

Giles answered instead. "That's fine, Willow. I don't want to keep you from your studies."

"The world's not ending tonight, is it?" Buffy needed to double check. She knew Willow wasn't going to do a lab experiment, but she understood her friend needed time away from Xander at the moment. So she offered support by supporting the out, knowing she would hear about it on patrol.

"Not that I'm aware of." Giles mildly replied. "I do wish we knew more about this Spike character and what he's planning."

Willow slipped unseen from the library as the meeting came to order and continued to the science room. It wasn't a lab experiment per se, but the room would be fitting and private enough. She pulled a spell book from her backpack and turned to the correct page. She had slipped the book from Giles' office a week ago, curious and wanting to learn more about what kind of things could be done with magic. One spell in particular interested her and she'd been trying to get up enough courage to try it. She wasn't sure she could do it, but she thought if she wasn't ready the spell would simply not work. So really, no danger there. The spell would create a reflection of yourself. This reflection would morph when people saw it into however they saw you. She wasn't sure of all the details about how this would work, but she desperately wanted to know the information the spell offered. Setting out the basic ingredients and casting the circle; Willow started chanting.

The meeting was winding down and not finding much success at any new information, Buffy was restless, frustrated and wanted to start patrolling. "Okay, I'm just going to find Willow and..."

Giles interrupted. "If Willow's still doing school work, I don't think you should stop her. You can patrol alone for one night, Buffy."

"I need my Will..." Buffy started to protest till she noticed how intently Giles was listening to her answer. "My Willabees CD. She borrowed it. School work, good. Check." Buffy quickly ended and exited the library.

Xander rose slowly from his chair at the table. "Is it over?" He hadn't been paying much attention and really hadn't been any help. His mind was playing over all the possible ways tonight's date with Cordelia would go.

"Cool. Thanks G-man." As Giles turned and entered his office, Xander headed toward the library doors. He stopped when Willow entered. "Hey. Buffy just left. I think she was looking for you."

The Willow in front of him morphed into a younger, shy girl clutching a book. He didn't notice the change, just smiled in reply to her smile and made his exit. "You didn't miss anything I think. If you wait, I'm sure she'll come back."

"Bye Xander." The Willow answered to the swinging library door. She continued over to the office.

Giles stepped out of the office and was startled when he almost ran into the Willow. "Oh. Finished the lab already?" Again, the Willow morphed. This time she grew to college age; a full grown woman, impulsive and precocious. Giles didn't notice. He only glanced briefly into eyes that were curious and held a daring so close to dangerous before he resolutely focused instead on the library doors. "Buffy went to the science room looking for you I believe. You might still catch her before patrol."

He stood helplessly in front of this woman, barely hearing her reply of "thank you" and decided to turn quickly back into his office.

The Willow decided to go look for Buffy next. She walked down the empty hallway and entered the science room as Giles suggested.

Buffy was there. "There you are. I saw your stuff, but I didn't see you. What were you doing, anyway?"

The Willow morphed again. Standing before Buffy was a Willow of high school age who glowed with the smile on her face and humor in her eyes. This Willow had strength though she was uncertain of it, so what was a quiet confidence sometimes briefly stumbled into shyness. A quick mind propelled her body into nervous motion which would still for a moment: relaxed, before sparking into motion again. Buffy just smiled and watched her as she always did. She focused for a moment on that body, and Willow's clothes changed into her Halloween costume for just an instant.

"Well, maybe for you. On both counts. Come on, you can tell me all about it on patrol." Buffy went to put her arm around the Willow but it passed right through. "What the?" Buffy jumped back and stood in a subtle but ready fighting stance. "Willow! What happened?"

Behind Buffy, Willow seeing all of this, stepped out from where she had been hiding. "Buffy."

Buffy spun around, then looked back and forth between the two Willows. "Willow, what's going on?"

"She's just a reflection, Buffy. It's the spell I did. It's very short term, don't worry. She should just disappear in a few minutes." Willow was quick to reassure Buffy. "I didn't even know it worked till she showed up here."

"Well, it's freaky." Buffy kept glancing between the two and relaxed her stance a little. "It's not dangerous, it is?"

"No." Willow looked at her reflection and the Willow looked back. Suddenly the Willow morphed into a mousy, dull, scared girl. The only color was the spark in her eyes as she suddenly charged Willow and lashed out at her, slapping her across the face.

"Ow! Hey!" Willow jumped back and tried to move to the side out of the way, the Willow blocking her and lashing out again.

Buffy quickly jumped between them and tried to push the Willow back, her hands uselessly passing through the figure. "What's going on?" Buffy demanded, moving, adjusting, keeping herself between the two Willow's.

"I. I don't know." Willow quickly thought of any possible explanation. "I guess that's how I see myself."

"Then the best thing I can think of is to just hide till she goes away." Buffy announced before turning them, opening the closet door she noticed, pushing them both inside and shutting the door.

"I think it worked." Buffy smiled. The closet was small and they sat tangled around each other on the floor. A small amount of light came in through some slats near the top. Buffy adjusted a little, sliding to the side. When her hand touched Willow's arm, a blue spark flashed.

"Sorry." Buffy chuckled. This plan turned out ridiculous even if it was effective. "There's carpet on the floor. Why does Mr. Cushman have carpet in his closet?"

"Buffy. That's what you're thinking about right now?" Willow wasn't ready to laugh about any of this yet.

"No." Buffy corrected. "I'm wondering what the spell was about and why it attacked you."

"Oh, right." Willow took a breath before confessing everything. "I found it in a spell book I borrowed from Giles. It was supposed to bring up a reflection that would change to show how people saw me. Then I would know, you know. Only, I don't know what happened cause I did the spell and a big nothing, then all of a sudden it walked into the room. And it changed when you looked at it like it's supposed to. And then I guess it changed when I looked at it into something I sometimes see myself as. And I guess I don't like myself much cause then as you saw it attacked me. I liked your version much better. Is that really how you see me?"

Buffy shrugged. "I guess. I just see you. Willow. Is that really how you see yourself?"

"Sometimes. Most of the time." Willow confessed in a quiet voice. "And with good reason! I mean here I am needing to be rescued again. You're always having to rescue me."

Buffy stroked the hair Willow had let fall in front of her face away and looked into her eyes. "You put yourself in danger because you stay with me, or try new, illegal and dangerous things to help me. The danger's because of me, because I need you. You're my strength."

"You're strong on your own. You have that slayer strength." Willow protested and pointed out.

"You're my other strength, Willow." Buffy circled her arm around Willow and pulled her close next to her. "I can't deal with anything without you. And I'll always be there to protect you. I'll always be there for you. I'd do anything for you." Buffy promised.

"Even if it's protecting me from myself?" Willow smiled and let her head rest against her friend's shoulder.

"Every time." Buffy confirmed. She meant to kiss Willow's forehead, but Willow moved to look into her friend's eyes at just that moment and the kiss fell lightly onto Willow's lips. Buffy closed her eyes and kissed her.

Willow startled away and Buffy reacted, quickly proclaiming, "sorry," she reached out to keep Willow from backing up any further, and her hand landed mistakenly on Willow's breast. Pulling back as if she touched a flame, again Buffy mumbled an apology.

Willow settled down and held the hand that had just moments ago touched her breast, collecting her thoughts. "Buffy, how do you see me? I was just surprised is all. And...and..." Willow gathered enough courage to look Buffy in the eyes, though she couldn't quite finish the thought.

"No. Yes, but..." Buffy brushed some of Willow's hair from her face, pulling her attention back. "It's just that..."

"Just that...?" Willow held her breath, hoping that Buffy had the courage to voice what was going on, or wasn't.

"I don't think we're supposed to see each other like this." Buffy hedged. "And if it's just me, that's cool, I promise. It won't be a problem." She rushed at the end, fearful she had gone too far.

"You see me as someone you want to kiss?" Willow pressed, her eyes watching Buffy's lips. "Cause, I thought it was just me."

When Willow noticed Buffy's reaction was a smile, she gathered any courage she could find and leaned forward to kiss her. Buffy didn't pull away, instead she pressed a little forward herself and continued the kiss; light and tentative as it was. After the short moment, they both pulled back, smiling.

"Yeah, Buffy?" Willow's smile widened, her eyes sparkling with daring and humor.

Buffy grinned, her own eyes sparked with desire. "Nothing, just..." Licking her lips, she leaned forward again to capture another kiss. This time, she opened her mouth slightly, tracing her tongue against Willow's lips and daring her to open to the kiss. Willow let the kiss deepen, meeting Buffy's tongue with her own, they fell into the growing passion, one kiss melting into the next. Braking apart, they didn't pull away and Buffy whispered into Willow's ear. "There's my Willow."

"I think you just bring it out of me." Willow traced Buffy's ear with her tongue. "Carpe diem, Buffy." She suggested, forcing her fears aside.

"Fish? Oh, right." Buffy nibbled and sucked at Willow's neck, her mind barely placing the reference.

Willow's hand released Buffy's and moved to the back of her head, pulling her friend into another heated kiss. Buffy returned her hand to Willow's breast, this time slowly caressing. Willow gasped.

"Yes." Willow answered against the kiss. Her own hand moved from Buffy's neck, across her shoulder and down to Buffy's breast in response.

They continued kissing in the dark closet. Their hands moving and exploring each other's bodies. Each daring the other to continue and escalate. Buffy slipped her hand under Willow's shirt and undid her bra, continuing the caresses on bare skin. Willow moaned at the touch, whispering, "Buffy," and "yes," into her ear, encouraging her. Willow had never done this before, but then she had never felt like this before. She let her reactions run as she moved her hands to Buffy's jeans, undoing the button and lowering the zipper. Slowly, she let her hand slip inside, smiling as she felt Buffy adjust herself to give her better access. She whispered, "oh god," as her fingers slipped over Buffy's wet center, carefully and slowly exploring, feeling the slick heat surround her fingers. She kissed Buffy, feeling more than hearing the "yes, Willow," against her lips. She felt Buffy cling to her, moving in rhythm across her fingers. Then she felt Buffy undo her pants and slip her hand inside.

They stayed locked around each other; kissing, teasing, exploring; until they found a rhythm they shared, driving each other over the edge. Breathing hard, they pulled their hands out only to wrap them around each other; holding each other until their hearts calmed and their breathing stilled.

"Too intense? For our friends and high school and the world at large, I mean." Willow's mind was catching up and her fears were the first to arrive.

"It's French. You're taking French, Buffy." Willow smiled and lightly kissed her. "It means between us."

"Who?" Willow tried to get her own brain working again. "Oh, her. Yeah, I'm sure she disappeared a while ago. But you open the door, just in case."

Smiling, Buffy zipped her jeans and adjusted her clothes, and as Willow did the same, she peeked out the door. "All clear."

"Okay, well, let's go back out there." Willow pulled Buffy back in. "Between us, I think we see each other just as we are, and just how it should be."

Leaving the closet; they cleaned up the remains of the spell and started the routine nightly patrol.

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True Reflections

by Crys Loch

Copyright � 2003

crysloch@frontier.com