Chapter 3

Willow quickly looked back at the book avoiding Kennedy's gaze. "No," she said softly. "We'll see if we can find something else."

"Oh come on Willow. I'm willing to take one for the good of the team," Kennedy teased.

Willow closed the book and faced Kennedy. "You don't believe in magic and that's fine. But I realize what this could mean. Of course there was a time not long ago when I-I wouldn't care but…you have to understand Kennedy - not only is this spell life threatening but…"

"But what?"

"Your first time should be special, something that happens because it's you and you alone," Willow grinned warmly before turning serious again. "A-And I won't use you for the purposes of magic. I'm sorry but I can't a-and I won't."

"It's not using if someone's willing. And what could be more special than getting to spend the evening with you AND help out the potentials in the process. It's kinda poetic actually."

"I'm not playing the poet. And the answer's no."

Kennedy was a bit taken back. Willow hadn't been that unyielding with her before. It was frustrating but Kennedy had to admit, it was kind of arousing too.

"You're really set against this, aren't you? I have to admit it's a side I haven't seen before."

"I've got lots of sides you haven't seen. Some are better left unseen than others."

"And is this one of them? I mean I'm not gonna bring out big, scary Willow, am I?"

"No," Willow replied and slowly a grin worked to her lips. "This is just what's called 'resolve face'. Xander knows it. Buffy knows it. Even Giles knows it. And when you see it you might as well give up because I won't change my mind."

"Stubborn one huh?"

"You have no idea," Willow sighed before smiling. "Come on," she added, handing two of the books to Kennedy before picking up two more and blowing out the candle. "Let's take these back to the house and look them over a bit more."

When they walked in the Summers house they found all the S.I.T.'s talking in a circle.

"Rona?" Vi asked. "No way!"

"Yeah shocking I know," Rona chuckled.

"What's shocking?" Kennedy asked as she walked over to the group. Willow closed the door and followed behind her.

"She's graduated already," Vi added. "And she's only 16!"

"I tested out," Rona shrugged.

"No kidding?" Willow asked. "I was going to test out too but Xander begged a-and he did a fair amount of pleaded for me not to. He told me that if he had to endure the pain of high school so did I."

"So you stayed in school for the Xan man?" Rona asked with a grin.

Willow chuckled at her equation of Xander. "Yeah I did. But I don't regret it. If I'd left I wouldn't have met Buffy. A-and it's kinda lame having your mom drive you to college because you don't, you know, have a license? So I waited."

"So we've got two big brains in the house," Molly added.

"We should have them play Jeopardy some night," Amanda added. "You know put them up in front of a podium and ask them questions to see who the smartest one is?"

"That would be cool," Vi replied. The group of young women started to chatter excitedly about the idea with the exception of Rona.

"I'm not gonna enter a big brain competition against Willow," Rona replied.

"What's wrong? No guts?" Willow prodded.

Rona moved to her feet. "Are you challengin' me? Because that sounds like a challenge."

"Maybe I am," Willow grinned.

Rona considered it and started to nod. "Okay. You name the time and the place."

"A week from today. Right here. The girls can put the questions together but no cheating. They can't give you the answers and you can't ask. Agreed?"

"That goes for her too," Rona pointed to Kennedy. "No midnight confessions during pillow talk."

The group got a kick out of that and offered a few of their own teasing remarks.

"Absolutely. On the level and up 'n' up," Willow told her.

Rona offered her pinky in 'swear' and Willow took it in hers.

"You're on." Rona nodded confidently.

Buffy walked in and caught the tail end of the conversation. "What's going on?"

"Willow's gonna wipe the floor with Rona in a knowledge test AKA Jeopardy style," Amanda told her.

"I highly doubt that," Molly offered. "I'd stake my wager on Rona."

"Wanna put your money where you're mouth is?" Amanda teased.

The group then began placing bets and Buffy took Willow by the arm. "I need to speak to you alone," she told her in a disapproving tone.

Willow handed her books over to Kennedy even as Buffy pulled her along, making the brunette try her best to balance them as she moved.

"What's wrong?" Willow asked once she and Buffy were alone in the kitchen.

"What the Hell are you doing?"

"What'da mean?"

"I don't think now's the time to invite Alex Trebeck over."

"We'll get Xander to play Alex. You know? Put a fake mustache on him. Have him try to hide a Canadian accent and act more intelligent than he really is." Willow grinned, hoping a bit of levity might improve Buffy's mood.

Buffy was still failing to see the humor and stood stone-faced, arms folded across her chest.

"Oh come on Buffy," Willow sighed. "It's just a way for them to blow off a little steam and not focus on the impeding doom every moment of the day. Besides, it's educational too. They'll learn things the when they look up questions like the capital of Cuba and stuff.…Havana by the way. So, see? Double goodness."

"We are facing an apocalypse in case you forgot-."

"No. I haven't," Willow said cutting her off, feeling her own anger rise. "A-and it's not like we haven't faced apocalypses before. The difference this time around is you seem to have forgotten about why we fight them."

"Oh really?"

"Really," Willow countered. "We do it because life is worth living. We do it because life can be fun. A-and if you don't stop and take time to enjoy things life has to offer then you end up…." Willow stopped herself wanting to find the right words

"You end up what?" Buffy asked, her frustration evident in her voice. Willow knew there was no way to sugar coat it. Buffy's attitude pushed her too far.

"Like you!" the Wiccan spat out.

Buffy's expression fell and Willow instantly regretted the way it came out.

"I love you Buffy. You know that, right? So I gotta say this…You don't have fun anymore. There was a time when you could save the world a-and smile but now..." Willow paused, taking a moment to formulate her thoughts. "When's the last time you smiled? Really smiled and meant it? If you have recently, I haven't seen it. To be honest I haven't seen it since I screwed up and ripped you out of heaven. I'm sure it was a great place 'n' all but there's things down here to enjoy too like your friends and your family. Yeah I melted down and forgot about that after Tara died but I've been putting things back together and I know what's important."

Buffy began to reply but Willow held up a finger as she continued.

"You don't like the game show idea and that's fine. Point taken. But I'm gonna talk to these girls, to share a few laughs a-and yeah I might lose some of them… but you know what? I still plan to get involved and get to know them."

"Yeah some more than others," Buffy muttered.

Willow sighed and began to shake her head. "That was cheap shot."

"I didn't mean it," Buffy said a bit louder.

"Yes you did," Willow answered. "I'd just like to know why. Obviously my relationship with Kennedy is a problem with you. Is it the age thing? Because she's only two years younger than us and-."

"Just forget it Will," Buffy said starting to leave. She didn't get far. Willow snaked her arm out and turned her back around.

"No. I'm done 'forgetting' things with you Buffy. I'm done letting things go or watching you stalk off to be alone. You're the fearless leader here but you're still a damn shadow to everyone. Grant it those girls don't see it because they don't know you but I do…Or at least I did. So no more forgetting."

"What do you want me to say?"

Willow paused to regroup her thoughts. "For starters, tell me why a 'game show' is such a big deal?"

"It's not. I just over reacted," Buffy answered, trying to move away again.

The answer however didn't satisfy Willow and once again she stopped her. "Nah ah. I want to know why."

Buffy's arms refolded to her chest but Willow reached out and pulled them away. At first Buffy looked angry.

"Stop touching me," she warned.

Willow refused to look away at the attempted intimidation. The longer she stood there just watching her best friend in silence the more nervous Buffy began to look. It was too much. Willow could tell Buffy was on the verge of saying something but unable to make a sound. Not opting to wait any longer, Willow pulled Buffy into an embrace and much to both of their surprise Buffy began to sob. It wasn't loud but Willow could feel the Slayers shoulders rising and falling and instinctively Willow tightened her hold.

"Shh," Willow said as she began to rock her. "It's okay. Take your time."

The Wiccan began to run her palm over the back of Buffy's head repeatedly, trying to sooth her. She started to cry even harder and her arms gripped the Wiccan even more.

"I feel like I'm running on empty here," Buffy managed to squeak out.

"I know," Willow told her. "Been there myself."

"I need help but . . ."

"Don't know what to ask for or even who to ask?"

Buffy pulled back and started to grin as she wiped the tears from her eyes. "It's scary how you still do that – know what I'm trying to say even if I don't."

Oh yeah? Xander says this is scarier, Willow answered calling with her mind to Buffy.

Buffy gave a light chuckle. "That is a bit spookier I'll admit," she said out loud.

Willow grinned and ran her hand down Buffy's arm before stopping and interlocking her fingers with Buffy. She was a bit relieved when she felt Buffy tighten her grasp too.

"You're the fearless leader Buffy but it's okay to be scared…well maybe not in front of them," she admitted with a comforting grin. "But you can let your guard down with us. You know? Me, Xander, Giles. None of us would think any less of you. A-and didn't Giles tell you once that the best way to be strong and be an adult is to ask for help when you need it?"

Buffy nodded.

"It's just a game to take their minds off the doom for a little while. It'll be entertaining, maybe a few laughs. All good I assure you. A-and much needed…I can still use a few smiles too ya know? Just because Kennedy is in my life doesn't mean that things are rosy. Having her here helps but…I still miss her Buffy. I'll miss her until the day I die."

Buffy knew who 'her' was and didn't need an explanation.

"I know you do Will. I miss her too. Even after you guys broke up I still talked to her. And it wasn't until you left for England that it really hit me that she was gone...So I miss her, if it's worth anything."

"It is. I'm glad to know she touched your life too," Willow nodded. "But I think you do have some problem with Kennedy and I think you should tell me what it is…Maybe you can't pin point it exactly but-."

"Oh I know." Buffy grinned, feeling a bit nervous.

"Well then what-."

"You were mine. But now you're hers."

Willow could almost feel her jaw drop and she began to stammer for a starting place. At first Buffy wasn't sure what brought on the reaction then she realized the way it must have sounded.

"No. I said that all wrong," Buffy replied quickly, holding her hands in front of her, trying desperately to correct her point. "I mean…You're my big gun Will; my witch. I'm your slayer. And now…if it came down to a choice…which slayer would you choose? I feel like I'm not 'your Slayer' anymore. She is and…okay, I know she's not a Slayer yet and I'm not 'totally yours' because the only sleeping we've done together has been in a platonic 'no naughty touching' nature. And damn I need to take breath in here someplace." Buffy paused but held her hands up so Willow would let her continue. "Look…I'm petty, okay? I'm petty and small and jealous. But not in a sexy jealous way," she added quickly. "I'm not talking cuddles…or more than cuddles…but I mean in a…"

"You're insecure because I have a 'back up' slayer in my life?"

"Exactly," Buffy sighed, relieved that Willow understood what she struggled to get out.

"I know how you feel. I felt the same when Faith showed up. You didn't need me anymore. Well, not until she went all crazy and homicidal but that's not the point," Willow said shaking her head. "The point is this: You'll always be my Slayer Buffy. Just like Tara will always be my girl…But I think I've got room for Kennedy in my heart too. The more I see of her, the more I like."

Willow watched the playful smirk come to Buffy's face.

"Hey! No dirty thoughts," Willow warned, waving her finger. "I mean I like HER. And not having to explain the whole scoobies scene or leading a 'double life' is a big bonus I might add," she said with a chuckle. "I love you all but for different reasons. So don't worry okay?"

Buffy smiled. "Kennedy's lucky to have you Will. And so am I…Don't forget that okay?"

"I won't as long as you don't forget that I'm around. You can come to me and not keep things bottled up like this. Deal?" she said holding out her hand to shake.

Buffy gently pushed the hand away and hugged Willow instead. "Deal," she said softly.

"So ya gonna root for me?" Willow asked optimistically. "In the big game?"

"I'll lead the Willow section. Kennedy just better not get in my way."

"Buffy," Willow chastised.

"What? I admitted I was petty. I'm possessive too ya know? If anyone gets to lead the big gun cheering squad it's me. Plus, I have experience I might add."

Willow chuckled as she led Buffy back to the dinning room. "I'll warn her in advance. You called dibs on head cheerleader first," she whispered.

Chapter 4

"Anything yet?" Kennedy asked as she thumbed through one of the books.

She was sprawled out on the bed with a variety of books while Willow sat in the chair examining hers.

"No," Willow sighed. "Nothing. Well…the virgin spell…but as we discussed that's not an option."

"So where's that leave us?"

"Nowhere fast," Willow said closing the book and gently tossing it on the ground.

She slumped over and started to rub her forehead to ease the tension.

"Headache?" Kennedy called from the bed.

"Yeah a little. I think all the reading is getting to me lately. Reading spells. Reading web sites for the First. Reading textbooks with the hopes I might actually get a degree this year."

Kennedy smiled. "Hey," she called over, making Willow look up. "C'mere," she nodded.

Willow gave a light grin and pulled herself to her feet making her way over to the bed. Kennedy pushed the books out of the way and patted the mattress. "Give me those feet."

"That might be dangerous you know? They say the feet have nerve endings that run to every part of the body."

"Which is why I assume you mentioned that you like them."

"You don't have to do that," Willow assured her even as Kennedy took her foot.

"You're right. I don't have to do it. I want to. Lie back."

Willow rested her head on the pillows by the headboard and Kennedy went to work massaging. Willow instinctively felt her eyes close and she let out a soft moan.

"You like?"

"Much," Willow murmured.

"You work so hard. You really push yourself."

"You should talk Miss 250 push ups, chin ups, sit ups a day."

"I do that to burn off fat, build muscle…defuse my sexual tension."

Willow opened her eyes briefly and grinned down at the brunette whose thumbs pressed and rubbed against her right sole.

"Tension huh? This probably isn't helping the tension any, is it?"

"That's okay. I'll just go run a few laps in the back yard after I'm done," Kennedy told her with a slight chuckle.

"You'll get all hot and sticky."

"Already there Sugar. Trust me."

Willow laughed out loud and Kennedy found herself smiling at the redhead.

"I knew it," Kennedy said softly.

"Knew what?"

"That you'd look beautiful when you laugh. You barely smiled when I first got here…Are you happier now? Do I make you happy?"

"What do you think?" Willow asked.

"Yeah I think so but…It's all so different. I mean I told you about my experience but to have the chance at something real…with someone like you. It's just…it's amazing. And I keep thinking at some point I'm gonna wake up back in boarding school with Suzi Whitter in my arms and be forced to listen to stories of how Greg Domus is the cutest guy that ever lived."

"Nah no Suzi's here," Willow assured her. "Just little ole me."

Kennedy took in the sight of willow nestled in the pillows, her red hair splayed across the white, cotton case. Her hazel eyes smiling at her. Laps just weren't gonna do it tonight. Subconsciously her hands began to rub higher until she was massaging the top of Willow's legs.

"I wanna say it Willow. I want to tell you I'm falling in love here but I know you can't say the same. But…" Willow watched as Kennedy closed her eyes. "I'm falling in love with you Willow. Maybe it's the situation – you know? Life and death. World in peril. Finally meeting someone whose into something more than 'one night stands'. I don't know. Maybe it's just something simpler than that – maybe it's just the way your nose crinkles when you get mad or the way your hair tickles me when we kiss or maybe it's just the fact you use five sentences instead of just one when you're describing something…Doesn't matter in the end I guess…And I'm not sure why I even said it because I know you can't possibly feel the same but…I thought you should know…I think your babble mode is rubbing off," Kennedy chuckled nervously, looking at Willow's feet ignoring her eyes.

Willow sat up and Kennedy still refused to look toward the head of the bed, even though her hands were now empty.

"That took a lot of guts," Willow told her.

"Yeah…brave and crazy huh? Maybe just stupid…Please don't hate me for saying that. And don't pull away because…I want to keep making you happy. I really think I could you know?"

Kennedy felt the mattress shift and she could see Willow next to her out of the corner of her eye. When Kennedy still didn't look up, Willow pulled Kennedy up by the chin gently.

"Where's all that cocky confidence I'm used to seeing, hmm?" Willow asked.

"I'm not always confident. Some times you scare me. Or I should say…I scare myself when I'm around you."

"Why?" Willow asked.

"Honestly?"

Willow just nodded.

"You make me weak sometimes. You make me feel things I've never felt. And I get…weak…But at the same time I feel like I could take on the world. Like I said brave and crazy I guess," she shrugged.

Willow pursed her lips for a moment. Wanting to say the right words but not wanting to mislead Kennedy. "I can't give you my heart. But there is something I can give you," she told the potential as she played with the top button of the brunettes pajamas.

Kennedy took the hand in hers and closed her eyes. She placed a slow burning kiss on the knuckles.

"I don't want your body until I can have your heart too Willow. And I know you can't give me that yet. But thank you. Thank you for trusting me enough to be willing to share that part of yourself...I just need the whole package."

"You're right," Willow said. She used her free hand to brush a piece of wayward hair behind Kennedy's ear. "I'm sorry for offering."

"I'm not," Kennedy smiled. "But like you said earlier. It should be special. It should have a deeper meaning. And if we ever get to that point…" Kennedy paused as a sly grin came to her face. "…consider me there Sugar."

"Come on," Willow said nodding toward the head of the bed. "Let's call it a night." She began to put the remaining books on the floor as Kennedy climbed under the sheets and slipped inside. Willow soon joined her, resting her head on Kennedy's shoulder and wrapping her arm around her waist.

"Just so you know…this is different for me too," Willow said softly.

"How's that?"

"I've always…I don't know…looked before I leaped?"

"I'm not sure I understand."

"Well I've only had two lovers in my life. I've only been physically intimate with three people. A-and with all I knew them first. Xander I knew forever. With Oz at first he was just a fellow computer geek. And Tara…she was my magic buddy. With all of them I knew them as something else than a cuddle buddy. Not that this isn't nice," Willow added quickly. "This is more than nice. It's just…different."

"You never let your libido steer the way?"

"I never even knew I had a libido," Willow giggled. "Well that's not entirely true," she confessed. "But yeah, this is different. This is like…intense. A-and it is a bit scary for me too."

"Well we can be horny and scared together. How's that sound?" Kennedy asked with a teasing grin.

Willow smiled and moved to rest on her elbow before kissing Kennedy tenderly on the lips. As she pulled back she watched the grin on Kennedy's face as she slowly opened her eyes.

"Mmm," she said softly. "Beautiful. Smart. A great kisser. You got it goin' on Sugar." Kennedy pulled Willow back down to her shoulder and they both snuggled in. "Say goodnight before I use my dormant slayer strength to ravish you," she teased.

Willow tightened her hold a bit on Kennedy's waist.

"Goodnight Kennedy."

"'Night Willow."

Willow rushed around the house trying to find her book bag as she called up the stairs. "Hurry up Dawn. You're gonna be late for school."

"It's not my fault Vi went over her shower time," Dawn yelled downstairs. "I've gotta dry my hair."

Willow rolled her eyes. "Just braid it and come on."

Kennedy leaned on the wall near the staircase watching her girlfriend riffle through duffle bags, coats and a host of other items.

"Ah Ha!" she heard Willow exclaiming pulling her book bag out. "I think WE need a house with wings."

"Ship all us potentials out there huh?" Kennedy offered.

"Not all the potentials," Willow grinned lecherously. "Actually I was thinking we could live in the wing and give everyone else the rest of the house."

"Now there's an idea," Kennedy grinned.

Dawn still hadn't surfaced yet so Willow yelled up again in a singsong voice as she went to the front door. "I'm opening the door now! I'm leaving!" Willow went to step out but the sight in front of her stopped her cold. "Oh my God," she muttered.

Kennedy walked around to see what had turned Willow a ghostly white. As the redhead started to collapse, Kennedy caught her and softened her descent. She shouted up the stairs in near panic.

"Buffy! Come quick!"

Kennedy looked toward the porch. She'd seen the pictures. She knew the face.

"Tara?" Kennedy asked.

The blonde nodded and reached out to touch Willow's limp body but Kennedy smacked her hand away. In that instant Kennedy realized something. She'd smacked her hand away. She was solid.

She was real and not the first. Kennedy wasn't sure if she felt uneasiness or relief. Either way, she figured it couldn't be good.

"Who are you?" they both asked in unison.

"So the last thing you remember, you were at your dorm, correct?" Giles asked.

Tara nodded from across the dining room table where nearly everyone was gathered with the exception of Willow who was still passed out on the sofa and Kennedy who tried to rouse her.

"Yes. I walked into the hall to go to the soda machine and when I got back it wasn't my room. I mean none of my things were there. It was like it was entirely someone else's room so I went over to Will's dorm and when I got there another girl answered and said she'd been there for nearly a year and she didn't have a roommate named Willow."

"Then what?" Buffy asked.

"Well of course I went to your place Giles. The guy there told me the man that rented the place before him had moved back to England according to the landlord…but that was about a year before. He offered to try to contact his landlord but I passed…So the next place I hit was the Magic Box but it's all boarded up and condemned. Finally, I came here to your place," she told Buffy. "Maybe you or Dawn or your mom might be here."

At that moment Dawn walked into the dining room. "Kennedy says the smelling salts aren't working," she told the group. "Willow's still out cold."

"What's going on here?" Tara asked. "Why is Will passed out and why is an entire year of my life gone from existence? I mean…have any of you seen me recently?"

The scoobies and Giles shifted uncomfortable unsure of what to say or even how to explain it.

"It's been sometime since we've seen you but obviously you've seen us as recent as yesterday," Giles began when no one else did. "Perhaps you can tell us more about your experience so far this morning. Is there anything else you can remember?"

"The Bronze is in the wrong spot," Tara told him after a brief consideration.

"Pardon me?" Giles asked.

"The club? The Bronze? It's on the other side of the street entirely. Oh! And Andy's service station doesn't exist. There's a place called Blackbeard's Fish and Chips there instead. I mean it looks like Sunnydale. It feels like Sunnydale but…"

"It's not your Sunnydale," Giles finished.

"But it has to be," Tara insisted. "I know all of you and you all know me."

"A linear dimension," Anya muttered.

"What?" Buffy asked.

"It sounds like a linear dimension," Anya told them. "This 'world'," she said motioning around the room, "it's just one reality."

"Of perhaps thousands, maybe even millions of others," Giles offered as Anya nodded.

"Exactly," Anya told him. "She must be from another dimension. Not the Tara we know or that knows us but the resemblance between both lines is well…freaky. So is Willow your lover?"

"Anya!" Buffy remarked at the tactless question.

"I'm just curious as to how much is in common between worlds," Anya shrugged.

"No, that's okay. She's my lover. Well was my lover I guess. This is all pretty confusing." 

"Did Xander marry me?" the ex-demon asked next.

"Anya," Buffy began. "I swear to God-."

"I'd just like to know if there's another me out there that isn't miserable. Is that so wrong?"

"Right now yes because this isn't about you."

"Really it's okay," Tara told Buffy. "Maybe the more I answer the more we can figure out what's happened...And no you haven't married. You're both engaged though."

"Yep," Anya nodded. "Sounds like a linear dimension alright."

Buffy computed the information. "Well how did she get here?"

Anya examined Tara for a moment. "Beats me," Anya shrugged.

"Tara," Giles began. "Does your Sunnydale have a Slayer? Do you even know what a slayer is?"

Tara grinned. "Of course I know what a slayer is. You above all people should know that Giles? But the question is do all of you?"

"I'm the Slayer," Buffy answered.

Tara started to laugh. "You've got to be kidding me. This can't be my world. You?"

"Yeah me," Buffy said indignant. "Whose your Slayer?"

Tara grinned. "I am."

Continued in Chapter 5

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