My Salvation by Buffy Writer

Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Joss and co. own the characters from the Buffy/Angel verse.
Distribution: The Mystic Muse: http://mysticmuse.net
My Site: http://www.angelfire.com/vamp/bwriter/
Anyone else, just ask.
Feedback: Makes the world go round.
Spoilers: None.
Author's Notes: Warning: Abuse and Attempted Rape. If this offends please don't read.
Pairing: Willow/Buffy

Summary: Buffy is the social outcast with problems while Willow is the most popular girl in school.

There was a general sigh of relief when the teacher Ms Card announced that class was over. The students began packing up their belongings and slowly moving out. All but one.

The teacher looked up from where she had already started marking the pop quizzes she had given her class that period. In front of her stood Buffy Summers. Suppressing a sigh she stopped marking and stood up.

"Buffy what can I do for you?" Ms Card liked Buffy. She was a quiet girl who always handed in her homework but had missed several of her classes. Truth be told, she secretly thought the girl had problems at home because of the way she would arrive at school, but the teacher's and school in general could do nothing for fear of how the parents would react to such an allegation.

Buffy squirmed under her teachers gaze. She liked English. She was good at it but lately she just wasn't in the right state of mind to study King Lear. As it was she had no idea how she was going to tell her teacher that not only did she not do the test but also that she didn't have any of the project work finished that they had been given two weeks ago to be handed in and complete a week later. Top that off with what was going on at home made for one very unhappy Buffy.

"I asked if this was important because I have a lot of work to get through here."

"Yeah about that, I kinda haven't taken the test. I just haven't had any spare time to study for it but I will take it again whenever you want."

Buffy really hoped that Ms Card was nice about this and didn't ask any questions because she knew for certain that she wouldn't tell her and she felt bad about lying to her favorite teacher.

Seeing that Buffy looked distressed Ms Card decided to let the test issue go for now.

"Dear are you okay? Its just you haven't really been 'with' us during class theses past few weeks. Is everything okay? Anything bothering you at home maybe?"

Buffy had a deer caught in headlights look plastered on her face before she could stop it.

"N…no why w…would you think that? I've just been slacking lately but its over. From now on you get my full attention during class."

Plastering a too big smile on her face she turned and hurried out before Ms Card could say anything more.

Looking at her watch she noticed that it was 4.30pm and that she was already late home to start dinner. Cursing herself for spending too much time with Ms Card she decided not to go to her locker to get her books and just headed for home.

Arriving at her house at 4.45pm, which was a record for her, she noticed that her dad's car was in the drive. Cursing herself for dallying at school she head with caution to the front door. Carefully opening it and moving into the house she heard them before she saw them. They were arguing again. She couldn't make out the words just the loud voices.

As she was moving into the kitchen her mother breezed past her and walked out of the house. He dad came crashing down the stairs not long after.

Not wanting to anger her dad anymore than he already was Buffy took a deep breath and explained that she had to stay late to talk to a teacher and that she was going to start dinner now.

"Well fuck that. I'm going out to the bar. That whore of a mother of yours wont be back. It's just you and me from now own. Isn't life grand!"

Buffy couldn't stop the shudder of fear that worked its way up her spine. With her mom there her dad had never beat her too badly, well that was a lie he had beat her into hospital when she was 13, but her mom had always looked after when he was finished. Who was going to look after now she was gone?

Her dad was walking closer to her and she had nowhere to go as her back was up against the kitchen door. She watched as he lifted I=his hand to her face and gave one gentle stoke across her cheek before rearing his hand back and slapping her hard across the face.

"Don't be late again and have my dinner ready for when I get back or you'll get worse than that little tap."

Buffy watched as he walked out of the house with a swing in his step before sliding down the wall and burring her head in her hands and sobbing. After what felt like hours but was only twenty minutes she picked herself up and went to start dinner knowing that if she didn't have it ready for when he got back she would get a severe beating for it.

As soon as the test was over Willow left the room with her followers trailing behind.

Willow looked at Harmony who had spoken. Sometimes she wondered why she hung out with these people. Sure she was rich and popular and beautiful but she was also smart and she liked learning. Looking towards Cordy and seeing the same look of her best friends face she just shook her head and the two walked off to the library to get some books that Cordy needed for her science project leaving Harmony and the squad behind gossiping about the latest hottie they came across.

"Why do we put up with those guys? I mean we are way more popular. I say we just ditch them and be done with it."

Hearing a noise near the entrance of the school Cordy looked up to see Buffy hurrying out like a bat outta hell was chasing her.

Willow frowned at Cordy. She happened to like Buffy. They used to be friends. Well not friends really but they used to say hello when they passed each other in the corridor.

"I don't see what's freaky about her. She's nice once you get to know her. Not that I know her know her but from what I've seen she's nice.

"Will! Stop babbling. Look we're here now lets get the books and get outta here. It is Thursday after all. One more day 'til the weekend starts. You know what that means?"

The two looked at each other before shouting Bronzing in once voice startling the school librarian Giles from his reading.

It was 10.00pm and he still wasn't home. Buffy was worried. Not about Hank but about what state he was going to be in when he got home. She had seen him drunk before and she didn't know what she was going to do if he came home drunk. Deciding to just leave his dinner in the microwave she went up to bed.

Not really a wise choice when she thought about it but she was tired and she didn't know what time her dad would be home.

Deciding to have a shower first she stripped down to her underwear and got her stuff ready. Turning on the water as hot as it would go she stepped under the steam and began washing away the days build up of grime. As she was washing her hair she heard the unmistakable sound of the front door banging shut. Quickly rinsing she turned off the water and quickly dried herself off before changing into her pjs, which consisted over men's boxer shorts and a Lakers t-shirt.

"Where the fuck is my dinner!?!" He was drunk but not overly so. Buffy figured she could cope with that.

"Well I didn't know what time you were coming home at so I put it in the microwave so you could reheat it."

She knew she had said the wrong thing because in the next instant she felt his hand in her hair trailing her down the stairs not caring when she tripped and rolled the rest of the way leaving his holding a handful of the hair that had been yanked out by her fall and his grip.

With tears running down her face and knowing for definite that some ribs were at the best only bruised she stood again only to be punched hard on the face. Spinning she fell again and her father used the opportunity to kick her anywhere he could reach from her ribs to her legs but never her face. Crying out in pain she tried curling herself into a ball and just before she blacked out from the pain she heard her father whisper in her ear:

"Baby, don't cry. Now that your whore of a mother is gone we can have so much fun." The last thing she felt was his tongue in her ear.

Willow and Cordy had been at the Bronze for 2 hours and had been dancing the whole time. Deciding to take a rest willow went and sat back at their table after ordering a new drink. Sitting down she watched the people around her and smiled when she saw Cordy dancing with Xander.

She liked Xander. He was a nice sweet guy and even though he wasn't part of the popular crowd Her and Cordy had just always seemed to click with him. She knew that he lusted after Cordy but her friend was oblivious to it.

She looked up when a shadow feel across the table. Seeing Oz she smiled and motioned for him to sit. Oz was the lead guitarist for the local 'hot' band Dingoes. He was also Xander's best friend. Though unlike his friend he didn't talk very much and willow liked that he just listened and didn't criticize.

"Dev got into a fight last night and had three of his teeth knocked out so he can't sing."

"Who was he fighting with?" Willow had never pictured Devon as a fighter and was intrigued as to why he would.

"Some guy he caught trying to feel up his sister who was kinda drunk at the time and didn't know what was happening."

"Hey Man. Your late." Xander took a seat beside his friend and passed him the drink he had got him at the bar.

"Right." Willow looked from Cordy to Xander and back again seeing how the two kept sending the other looks when they weren't looking. Deciding she had had enough she stood up and told Cordy to follow her and told the guys they'd be right back.

"You guys are acting like three year olds. You like him, he like you what's the problem?"

Willow looked at her friend not believing what she was hearing. Cordelia Chase not knowing how to approach a guy!

Muttered under her breath about dumb friends she stormed back to their table and pulled Xander up before whispering in his ear and sending him over to Cordy.

"That if he didn't go over there and ask Cordy out I was gonna tell everyone that he had syphilis."

"I thought so. So how's Lori?" Lori and Oz had been dating ever since willow could remember.

"She's good. She's at home visiting her parents but she's coming back next week. How's your crush?"

Willow looked at Oz to gage just how he had asked that question. She found the honestly in his question and answered him.

"I saw her today but only for a minute. We haven't really spoken all week. Not even a hello."

Oz, Cordy and Xander where the only ones who knew that Willow was gay. Being gay in high school was a major no-no but she was able to deal with her friends knowing because she trusted them not to say anything. Only Oz knew about her crush on Buffy though.

Willow just sat back thinking of the girl she had had a crush on for the last year.

The first thing Buffy noticed when she woke up was that she was in serious pain. Letting her mind recall what had happened the night before she raised herself painfully to her feet and stumbled back into the bathroom from the hall where her father had left her all night bleeding.

Wincing as the water ran over the open cuts she washed her hair and used shower gel on her body hoping to sooth the pain away but all it did was sting.

Stepping out and looking at herself in the mirror she weighted her options. A, she could stay home and risk another beating or worse or B, she could cover herself from head to toe and bear the pain and go to school. Option B it was.

Looking at her face she though of how her father never hit her there. Everyone would notice which was why he kept his blows below the neck area. Looking into her eyes and seeing a stranger in front of her she cried. She cried for the little girl she used to be and she cried because she had no-way out of this mess until she started college and that wasn't for another year.

Pulling herself together she went into her room and looked through her wardrobe for something to ware that would hide his marks on her skin. She settled on a high turtleneck baby blue sweater and a pair of comfortable jeans.

Grabbing an apple she left the house happy for the reprieve she was getting by going to school.

She was walking along just enjoying the freedom of doing so when a car pulled up beside her. Flinching back thinking it was her father she was relieved when Willow's head poked out of the driver's window.

Knowing that she still had far to walk Buffy agreed and got in the passenger side of the car trying to hide her flinch when a bruise got rubbed the wrong way. Willow noticed though.

Buffy looked at her noting that she really did look concerned. Thinking of the first thing that came into her head she answered;

"Yeah I feel down a couple of stairs at home." There it wasn't really a lie she had fallen down some stairs.

Willow had a look on her face like she was going to say something else so Buffy broke in.

Willow gave her a brief summary of the happenings at the Bronze and before they knew it they had arrived at school.

"Well guess I'll see ya later then Wills." Buffy really didn't want to leave. She enjoyed being around Willow. She was really the only person at school she talked to or that talked to her.

"Hey do you want to meet up at the Bronze tonight? It's only gonna be me, Cordy, Xander and Oz. The Dingoes are playing so he's gonna be indisposed most of the night."

Buffy really wanted to say yes but she didn't know what kind of mood her dad would be in so she turned down the offer.

Willow was disappointed but as Buffy was leaving she shouted after her "If you change you mind just come along."

Buffy turned and gave a small smile before walking into the school and headed for the library to see her favorite person in the world, male wise anyway; her uncle.

"Hey Giles. It's only me." Walking over to his office she walked in and took a seat on his couch.

"Buffy hello. I missed you yesterday I was hoping you'd stop by. I was going through old books and I recognized this one. It belongs to your father."

Passing her the book Giles noticed that she was wearing a turtleneck yet it was a very hot day outside.

Buffy looked up and wrapped her arms around her middle, wincing when she pressed on her bruised ribs.

Buffy looked up at the anger in his voice. She didn't mean to make him angry. She knew that he wouldn't hurt her but then she had thought her dad wouldn't hurt her the way he had. Scooting further away out of reflex Buffy told him that nothing was wrong and that she was fine.

Giles' eyes narrowed even more at the fact she moved away from him when she said that almost as if she were scared. Deciding that he would ask her father if she had been involved with anyone who could hurt her he backed off and offered her a coffee knowing she hated his tea.

Buffy was relieved that he had left the subject alone. She loved her uncle. He was the only adult in her life she trusted above all else but she couldn't help be scared when she heard him use that voice. It was one she had heard as a child when he caught her doing something she shouldn't be doing but usually he never shouted or told her parents on her. Sometimes he would even help her with whatever she was doing that she shouldn't have.

Realizing that she was late for class she said goodbye and left him to whatever it was she interrupted.

The Day passed quickly for Willow. She was hoping that Buffy took her up on her offer to come out. She wanted to spend more time around her.

"Hey Giles. I'm just here to give this back then I'm off. This week has dragged in."

"Buffy's going with you?" If they were friends maybe Willow would know why Buffy looked to be in pain this morning.

"Well I'm hoping she'll come. I asked her this morning but she said she couldn't."

Giles was looking thoughtful. He wanted to get to the bottom of what was wrong with Buffy.

"Did Buffy seem alright to you this morning Willow?" He tried to ask the question casually but Willow picked up on the worry in his voice.

"Well I noticed she flinched when I pulled up beside her and again when she got into the car but she said she fell down some stairs and that nothing was wrong. Why what's going on?"

Leaving Willow to her own devices he went into his office to phone his brother. Noting the time was only 4.15pm he knew Hank would be home and dialed.

"Hello?" Hank answered on the fourth ring mentally cursing his useless daughter for not being there to get it.

Wanting to get this conversation over with a quickly as possible as he hated his brother Giles just dived right in.

"Well its just she kept flinching to like she was in pain and a friend of hers said that Buffy told her she fell down some stairs."

"I wasn't home so I didn't see her this morning but I'll see her when she gets home. In fact that's her now. Goodbye Rupert."

"What the fuck have you been telling people you little bitch? Did I not beat you enough last night huh? Did you want more was that it? Answer me god damn it!"

By this point Hank had her cornered by the dining room table. Grabbing her by the hair, he dragged her upstairs this time. Buffy resorted to doing what she knew he loved hearing – her begging.

Hank just laughed and pulled harder on her hair. Throwing open her bedroom door he threw her inside laughing when her head connected with her vanity tables edge. Following her down he ripped her sweater from her body exposing her bra clad chest and showing off his marks on her from the night before.

Buffy was terrified now. So far he had never done this to her but she was sure that one more than one occasion he had gotten close only to be stopped by her mother. Well her mother wasn't here to stop him now. Begging him not to do what he was about didn't seem to help either.

Hank by now had off all her clothes except her underwear and Buffy really started to struggle when he reached for those. Hitting him anywhere she could reach was having no effect on him at all. As he was pulling off her panties she kicked out with her foot and just as it was about to connect with his groin he caught it in a punishing grip.

"Ah ah ah. Can't have you doing that now can we? If you don't stop struggling I'm gonna tie you up and not let you out for days. During that time I will bring down every member of my drinking club to have a go so for fuck sake stay still!"

The last part was bellowed at her and Buffy knew that he meant every word he said. Closing her eyes and praying that he would be finished quickly Buffy made her mind go blank.

Something wasn't sitting right with Giles. He knew something was going on with Buffy but not what. He hoped Hank could figure it out. He knew fist hand what it was like to be abused by someone. When he was growing up their father had beat him at every given opportunity. Never Hank though.

These last few months Buffy had been extra jumpy when he had seen her. She looked nothing like the carefree girl he knew her once to be. Her eyes weren't as open as they once were. You used to be able to read her emotions in her eyes but lately.

Giles sat up as a sudden insight came to him. He knew that look she had in her eyes. He had it himself when he was growing up. Grabbing his coat he left for his brothers who he swore he was going to kill.

Hank was about to go to the one place he had never been with his daughter when he heard the front door slam open and shut. Standing up and zipping his jeans back up he told Buffy not to move and left her lying there naked.

Giles stalked over to him and grabbing him by the shirt collar yelled in his face.

"Where's Buffy?" Pausing to look at Hank's state of undress Giles swore and hauled back and punched him in the noise knocking him down. Giles took off running upstairs hoping that he was wrong but upon busting into Buffy's room discovering that he was very right.

Hearing her bedroom door being bust open she scooted back and curled into a ball begging her father not to do it. She felt hands on her skin wrapping a blanket around her nakedness.

After crying and begging for him not to hurt her she calmed when she realized the person holding her wasn't being forceful about it. Looking up she saw Gils concerned face just inches above her own. Throwing her arms around him she cried even harder.

Giles just continued to hold her and rock her telling her everything would be okay now.

After around half an hour of this Buffy raised her head and looked Giles in the eyes.

Giles answer was to stand with her still in his arms and walk downstairs. Noticing that Hank had fled to god knows where he carried Buffy out and placed her in the car before getting in and driving to his home. He swore to himself that she would never be hurt like that again.

Willow was depressed. Buffy never showed the night before and now she had an assignment to finished and she didn't have any of the books she needed for it.

Willow grabbed her car keys and purse before rushing out of the house and over to Giles.

Giles was at a loss as to what to do. Buffy had stopped crying and was now just staring at the fire watching the flames. Thinking that maybe she needed a friend with her he walked to his phone book and searched for Rosenberg. Finding only one he called the number.

Hearing willow answer he asked her to come over to his house as Buffy was there and not feeling to well. He didn't want to explain what was going on over the phone. Giving her his address he disconnected hoping that she could help Buffy.

Willow arrived ten minutes later cursing traffic the whole was to Giles front door. Knocking once she waited for someone to answer, vaguely thinking that it was strange for Buffy to be at the school librarian's house on a Saturday, or any day really.

When the knock came at the door Buffy nearly flew off the couch where she had been sitting. Looking to Giles for guidance as to whether or not to be scared she was relieved when he smiled at her and opened the door. She was surprised to see Willow standing on the opposite side.

Willow took one look at Buffy and turned accusing eyes to Giles before running over and enveloping her in a hug.

"What did you do to her!?" The question was asked with as much venom as she could get into her voice and considering that state Buffy was in that was a lot for Willow.

Giles looked shocked that she thought he could do this to his niece. Then he remembered that no one at school knew about that and that it was in fact her own father who tried to rape her.

"Will, Giles never did anything." Willow turned her hard gaze on Buffy who flinched from it.

"Okay if you say so but why are you here wearing his clothes and looking like you've went ten rounds with Tyson?"

Giles looked to Buffy who looked at Willow. She didn't know why yet but she trusted her. Every time they met up Buffy felt a little better given her crappy life. Looking to Giles she nodded her head indicating that she wanted to do this in private. Giles getting the message rose to go out for a run though Buffy's voice stopped him.

Giles smiled, bent to kiss her on the forehead and left. For Willow, this was getting stranger by the minute. She was now convinced that the girl she had a crush on was involved with a man old enough to be her father.

"Buffy? What's going on? How long have you and Giles been involved? Why are you looking beat up?" Willow was worried and nervous which automatically meant babbling for her.

Buffy was looking at her amused before she laughed for the first time in a long time.

"I'm about to tell you what's going on. Giles isn't my boyfriend, he's my uncle. I look bad because something happened and if Giles hadn't of came for me when he did I would be much worse off than I am now."

Pausing to think about how to tell Willow the following she missed the small smile on Willow's face after Buffy said Giles wasn't her boyfriend.

Looking towards Buffy she could tell that whatever she was going to say was going to be hard for her so she gave her an out of the situation for now.

"Buffy you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. Or you can tell me but not right now if you don't want to."

Buffy smiled and thought of how sweet Willow was, when by rights she should be as stuck up as Harmony and even Cordy to a degree what with her being one of the most popular girls in school, but for some reason she just knew she could trust her.

"No it's fine. I need to talk to someone about this and I can't talk to Giles he's too…" Pausing to think of a word the only one she could come up with was "…manly."

Standing up and walking over to the fire she recalled the events that brought her to Giles house in the first place. Staring into the fire she began her tale of how her father had a habit of beating her and about how last night her tried to rape her only Giles came just in the nick of time to stop him. By the end of the tale Buffy, was hunched over in tears wrapped in Willows arms.

Willow was in shock. Buffy had just told her how her own father had beaten her and tried to rape her. More than shocked she was angry. She was so angry she was visibly shaking with rage. Buffy felt this and thought that she had done something to upset Willow.

"Hey, Will I never meant to make you mad. Please don't hate me now." Buffy wasn't scared of Willow using violence on her but she was terrified of Willow thinking that maybe she deserved everything that had happened, and hey who know maybe she did.

"Buffy I am mad. I'm so mad right now I'm actually entertaining the idea of murder! What he did to you was unforgivable. Are you going to the police?"

Willow paused and looked down at the girl in her arms noting that she looked like she wanted to bolt.

Something had just occurred to Buffy. She hadn't showered yet. She was sitting letting Willow hold her when she could still feel him on her skin. Jumping up she made a dash for the bathroom. Bursting through the door she turned on the water as hot as it would go and jumped in not caring that she was still fully clothed or that the water was so hot it was causing blisters to appear on patches of skin.

Hearing a noise she looked up from her crouching position to see Willow running through the door. She watched as Willow reached in to turn off the warm water and switched it off, then she watched as she stepped into the shower with her and once again enveloped her in a hug.

The site that greeted Giles when he got home brought a smile to his face. Buffy was curled up into Willow and both were fast asleep on the couch.

Buffy woke up feeling like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She had come to a decision just before she fell asleep against Willow. First thing she wanted to do was shower and then change into something a little less guy like.

Stretching she looked over at the girl who had held her for hours while she cried. Willow looked very relaxed in sleep Buffy mused. She had an almost sated – wow were did that come from? Getting up she heard sounds coming from the kitchen.

"Hey." Buffy's soft voice interrupted Giles musing over which to heat up – beans or mushrooms.

Hugging herself she walked to the fridge to get a drink before realizing what she was doing and turning away to instead look at Giles.

"I'm feeling better. The pain has dulled but my ribs are still kinda painful. Do you mind if I get a drink?"

"This is your home now as well." Giles turned around to continue his cooking but frowned when he heard no noise coming from behind him. Turning back he was surprised to see Buffy just standing there.

What did that mean? Can I have a drink or not? If it was home I wouldn't be asking I would just wait 'til da – no Hank had passed out or for mom to get home when she was still there. She was pulled out of her musings when she heard Giles asking a question.

"Yeah I am but I was just wondering if it was okay to get a drink. When I asked you just told me this was my home now as well, which I'm grateful for if I haven't already said so before now."

Hoping that he wouldn't be mad at her questioning him she missed the incredulous look on his face before he asked in a hard voice,

Looking him in the eyes and not caring that a few tears escaped Buffy answered truthfully,

"He would make me go without food or even water 'til my mom came home from work or until I begged him for it. He liked begging so I tried to hold off as long as I could."

Averting her eyes as she was unsure what she would see in her uncles she looked at the floor.

Suddenly two feet appeared beside her and when a hand lifted her chin up she couldn't help her natural reaction which was to flinch and whimper.

Giles tried not to notice and waited patiently for her to refocus. When she had he began.

"Buffy you should never have to ask for something as basic as food and water when living in a home where there is an abundance of both. From now on whenever you get hungry or thirsty just take. You never have to ask okay?"

Giving Giles a teary smile Buffy gave him a quick hug before opening the fridge and taking out two orange juices for her Willow. Turning to go back to the living room she paused when Giles called her name.

"We will have to talk about everything you know. For now just go on through and I'll call the both of you when dinner is ready to be served."

Willow was just waking up when Buffy got back. Sitting down beside Willow and handing her a juice Buffy began quietly sipping on hers enjoying the down time.

"I'm gonna stay here with Giles. I can't go back there. What he did was… I don't have words right now about how wrong what he did was. I feel so betrayed by both him and my mother. She just left, knowing how bad he gets and knowing how bad he could get she just walked out and left her seventeen year old daughter with him. I never want to see any of them again to tell you the truth."

"Giles told me that we're gonna have to have a conversation about what's gonna happen but I already have a vague idea about what I want to see happening. I want that man to know what it felt like to be me living in that house with him. I want him to lose his freedom; I want him to have to beg for food, for water. I want him to know the fear of saying the wrong thing and suddenly having someone bigger and stronger than you are beat the hell out of you so bad you wind up in hospital. I want him to go to jail. And I just want to forget the past six years never happened."

Buy the end Buffy was in tears again. Her eyes felt like the Sahara desert but still her tears fell. Feeling herself being pulled into another hug she drifted off still weeping gently while Willow whispered nonsense into her ear just to calm her down.

When Buffy next awoke she found herself in Giles spare bedroom, which was to be her room when she thought about it. Getting up she and going into the living room she was surprised to find Giles and Willow standing by the couch with boxes spread out all over the place.

"Buffy! Giles and me figured that you might need some clothes and girlie things plus stuff for school tomorrow if your going, so we went by your old place to pick up some stuff then we stopped by the mall and you were asleep for over sixteen hours. Its late Sunday night."

Willow was excited to be doing something useful to help Buffy out. Looking at her friend she was surprised to see tears tracking a course down her cheeks yet again.

"No. No happy tears. You guys didn't have to go to so much trouble for me. Thank-you."

Buffy began opening some of the boxes that she assumed were from her old room. There was one thing she was looking for specifically: Mr. Gordo, her stuffed piggy.

After a hour of searching for it but not finding it she gave up and sat down with a pout. She never really expected them to have it, seeing as how her – Hank – took it away from her one time because she forgot to bring him a drink in from the kitchen, and had never given it back.

Not seeing the look Giles and Willow shared she continued to sit there pouting over Mr. Gordo.

Giles finally took pity on her and from behind his back appeared her stuffed pig.

With a squeal Buffy jumped up and grabbed her pig checking to make sure he was fine and seeing that he was gave Giles a heartfelt hug for returning her childhood piggy.

"Well just as we were leaving Willow asked if there were any teddies that you would like to have with you. Something about girls keeping them on the beds even when they grow up. I remembered the one pig I always saw you with when you were younger so we began looking. We found it stuffed in a corner in the master bedroom."

"Thank-you. This really means a lot." Once again giving Giles and then Willow a hug Buffy walked into the kitchen still holding her once only friend close to her as she poured herself a glass of water.

"Will? Aren't your parents gonna be worried about where you've been all weekend?"

"They aren't at home. They're in Europe. Can't remember what they're doing out there but they've been there for most of the month. They won't be home for another three at most. So I'm good here. Unless that was you politely asking me to leave. Was it?"

"No I was just checking so you wouldn't get in trouble with your parents." Turning to Giles Buffy looked at his somber expression and figured she knew what was coming.

Giles looked towards his niece hoping she would have the strength to go through this, though thinking back on what she had to endure at the hands of her father he figured she was all set.

"Wow, you just start with the biggies don't you?" Buffy took a seat on the armchair and opened her mouth to speak. Looking over at Giles she closed it again at seeing him smiling a small smile.

"You were beginning to sound like your old self for a moment there. I missed her."

Willow knowing that this was going to be a pretty intense conversation decided to leave them to it and took off saying that she would see Buffy tomorrow is school if she showed up and if she never then she would call round to Giles place.

Buffy had debated with Giles about whether or not she should go to school that Monday. She knew that some bruises were visible above her neck line and as much as she didn't want people staring or asking what had happened, she just wanted to get her life back to some form of normalcy.

Walking into the building and noticing the curious stares she was about to duck into an empty classroom until homeroom started when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

Jumping in fright she turned to face none other than Xander Harris, aka Willow's friend.

"Xander, hey what's up?" She was looking at him kinda strangely cause he never spoke to her before much less stopped her in the corridor to talk.

"Will asked me to make sure you were okay if I saw you before she did today. So me and my manly pride are here to protect." He finished giving Buffy a friendly smile.

Buffy's face dropped. She didn't think Willow would have told anyone. She didn't want anyone to know about what had happened. Not yet.

"S…she t…told you huh?" Praying to God he said no Buffy waited for Xander to answer her.

"Yeah. No actually I'm feeling kinda sick think I'll go sit down." While it was true she did feel queasy, Buffy couldn't tell Xander the reason she wanted to sit was because with her ribs still hurting it made walking painful. Moving into the classroom she took a seat and was surprised when Xander sat down beside her. Off her questioning look he answered her unspoken question.

"To me you really don't look fine. Do you need anything? Water, a hankie, anything?"

Buffy smiled thinking that this guy was sweet. She was about to answer when out of the corner of her eye she saw a man standing by the door.

Turning her head to see who was there she knocked over her seat in shock while trying to scramble out of it at seeing her father standing there. She started slowly backing away even as he came forward.

"Y…you c…cant be here." Buffy was beyond scared. He was here in her school and Giles was nowhere around.

"But I am. Do you know how angry I've been? Get your shit together and let's go. Get lost boy." The last was snarled at Xander.

Xander. Buffy had forgotten he was there. She looked over at him silently praying he didn't leave her with his person she used to call daddy as a child.

Xander looked from Hank, who was pretty intimidating, over to Buffy who looked so small and scared that he would leave. Making his decision he walked over to her and pushed her behind him before turning to face the unknown man, who he suspected of being her father, standing before him.

"No I'm not gonna leave. Cause see she doesn't really look like she wants to be alone with you now does she?" Not really expecting an answer he went on.

"The school has security now. One move from you and I start screaming. And believe me I can scream pretty loudly when given the chance."

Then he was gone and the next thing Buffy was aware of were two arms wrapped round her. Xander had seen her about to hit the floor and had caught her just in time.

"Come on, let's get you outta here, class is starting soon." He began leading her out of the building and over to the old oak tree that sat near the cafeteria.

Sitting down on the bench in front of it Buffy wrapped her arms around her middle and stared at the teenagers rushing off to class.

Xander looked to the girl beside him and just knew what had happened. Her father had hurt her. Badly.

His parents weren't model citizens and when his dad was drunk, Xander stayed out of his way because he knew what would happen if he didn't. Looking over at Buffy he just knew that somehow she hadn't gotten away in time.

Wrapping an arm around her shaking shoulders he began talking to her and telling her about his childhood when his dad would thump him so hard he was lucky to still have teeth. He had never told this to anyone besides Oz. The two bonded over tales of frightened children hiding and hoping their fathers wouldn't find them.

The day passed all to quickly for Buffy. When school was over she met Willow at the entrance as they had pre-arranged at lunch.

"Hey Will do you mind taking a detour from Giles place? I wanna go to the police station first."

"Whatever you want." Catching Xander's eye in the rear view mirror she smiled and drove in the direction of the local police station.

Buffy hadn't been able to get rid of Xander all day. Not that she minded, though having him stand outside the girls locker room while she peed was a bit much.

"Buffy? Xander, me, Oz, Cordy and Devon are going to the Bronze tonight. You wanna come?"

Buffy looked over at willow and was about to turn down her offer when Xander cut in.

"Come on Buff, ya gotta go, if only to laugh at my dancing style." That got him a laugh for which he was happy.

"How can I resist an offer like that? Okay count me in but only if Giles says it's okay.

Willow smiled happy that she would get to spend another night with Buffy by her side. Suddenly an idea occurred to her.

"Oh hey we could have a slumber party! You guys could all stay over at mine. It'll be so cool."

"But what about Oz, Cordy and Devon. They might not want me there. We're not exactly friends."

"Don't worry about those guys, you'll get on great with Oz and Dev. Cordy will just have to live with it. Your part of the group now." Willow smiled at Buffy who smiled back.

Looking out the window she noticed that they had pulled up in front of the police station.

"You want us to come in?" Smiling over at him she shook her head. It was something she had to do alone.

"We'll wait here then." This came from Willow. Buffy looked at her two new friends and with a last grateful smile walked into the police station.

"Okay could I take a few details off you first?" Seeing her nod he went on. "I'm officer Finn. Could I take your name?"

"Right. Well what is the nature of the talk?" Seeing her frown her elaborated. "Are you reporting a crime or…" He trailed off noticing her bruises for the first time when she moved a piece of hair away from her face.

He came back a few moments later and showed her into a small room where another officer was sitting. This time female.

"I'm officer Burkle. Officer Finn and myself will both be present to listen to whatever it is you have to tell us is that okay with you?"

Buffy looked up from where she was studying the tiles on the floor and took a deep breath before starting. She told them everything. She had to stutter through some parts but she got it all out in the open.

"Miss Summer's, we will put out a wanted notice on your father and have him brought in then we'll take it from there." Officer Burkle looked towards the young girl sitting across from her with her head down and tears roaming down her face.

"I know. I hate him so much. I just want to see him go to jail for what he did. He was my dad you know? He was supposed to protect me from stuff like this, not be the cause of it." Buffy raised her head and the two police officers looked away from the misery they could see in the girl's eyes.

"You'll need to see a doctor to get your injuries checked out. You really should have gone when your uncle asked you to. We'll drive you there if you like."

"No it's fine, my two friends are waiting outside for me. Thank you for everything." Buffy stood up to leave but not before turning to ask one last thing.

"Will you let me know when you get him? I wanna know when that bastard is behind bars."

The officers smiled, replied yes and Buffy left. Walking out into the sunshine to meet her two friends, she began to heal just a little.

After telling the guys what had happened in the police station, Buffy was dropped off at Giles' place with instructions to call and let them know if she was allowed to go out tonight and then allowed to stay over at Willow's. If she was she had to be ready for 7pm. It was now 6pm and Buffy still hadn't worked up the courage to ask Giles yet.

She wasn't sure how he would react to her asking to stay out all night on the third night of living in his house. Deciding that it was worth it she went into his study to see him hunched over a book as usual. Noting he was sipping from a glass of wine Buffy kept her distance not knowing how he would react if he had been drinking.

"Ah Giles can I ask you something?" Buffy stood nervously by the door waiting 'til she had Giles full attention before she continued.

"I em… Will and Xand asked me to go to the Bronze tonight and then stay over at Will's. I was just wondering if it was okay?"

"Buffy it's a school night." Giles didn't mind if she wanted to go out but staying over at a friend's house when she had school the next day didn't seem like a good idea to him.

Buffy's shoulders slumped. As much as she wanted to go out she didn't want to make Giles mad by pestering him about it so she put on a brave smile that never reached her eyes and looked back up.

Giles looked at her and noticed the strained smile. He was at a loss as to the cause of it. Shouldn't she be happy she was going out with friends?

"No that's okay. You go get ready and I'll have something ready for the time your done." Buffy looked at him confused so her clarified what he was saying.

"I assume that you will be changing before going out am I wrong? I thought all women changed their clothes at least once a day. Go on. It's already after six. What time are they calling?"

"But you said…" Giles cut her off, "I said it's a school night meaning that you couldn't stay over because I don't see you lot getting much sleep but you can go out with your friends."

Buffy's smile lit the room. "Thank you I have to go call them and let them know is that okay?"

Giles sighed. Obviously she still didn't get that this was her home now therefore she didn't have to ask.

"Buffy, we've had this conversation before have we not. You don't have to ask me for the use of everyday things. I'm not him." The last was said with conviction hoping she would finally believe that he wasn't like her father.

Buffy looked long and hard at her uncle. "I know you're not him Giles. The very fact that you are even letting me out proves that. Also the fact that you're holding a glass of wine and actually drinking it and not throwing it at me also proves it. It's just gonna take time to get used to the fact that I'm not under house arrest ya know? That I can move freely without fear of getting beat for doing the wrong thing. Give me time?"

This was asked with such vulnerability that Giles opened his arms and Buffy flew into them taking the hug he offered without hesitation.

"Thank you." Buffy detangled herself from his arms and left to call willow and then change.

The Bronze was packed when they all arrived. While the girls got a table the guys got the drinks.

For Buffy it was a new experience. She had never been to the Bronze before and was relishing every second of it.

Willow watched as Buffy took in her surrounds for the first time and smiled at the look of awe on her face. Turning to Cordy she missed Buffy's panicked look.

Buffy had been scanning the crowd watching the people dancing when she spotted a group of girls staring at her. She recognized some of them and remembered she used to see them with Willow and Cordy. The front one she knew was Harmony.

When she noticed the girls throwing her dirty looks she wondered why but when they started to come over she panicked. She didn't want anything to ruin her first night out.

Turning when she felt a tap on her shoulder she scooted over to give Xander room to sit down and took the coke he offered.

Xander followed her eyes and saw Harmony and a few others making their way to the table.

Willow and Cordy turned to see who he was talking about and by this time the girl's had arrived.

Harmony looked over Xander, Buffy and Oz with a disgusted look plastered over her face before turning to face Willow and Cordelia.

"What is your malfunction!? Sitting with these two losers and her." Willow turned a hard gaze on Harmony before looking towards Cordelia who shrugged not knowing why Harmony was even talking to them after her telling her to get lost.

"I mean Geek boy here was bad enough, at least Oz is semi-cool what with being in a band, but to openly sit and talk to her is just –" Harmony's rant was cut off by Cordy, much to Buffy's surprise, standing up and getting right in her face.

"Buffy happens to be our friend now so shut your mouth or I'll do something I will love and you'll regret." Harmony looked Cordy up and down before smirking and turning to face Buffy thinking that Cordy had nothing on her.

"So who was it huh? I mean bruises like that don't appear over night. Who'd you tease to get them huh? Which guy was desperate enough to take you out on a date thinking you'd put out befoomph" Harmony was again cut off but this time it was by Willow slapping her across the face.

"Shut your face. You know nothing about this so just fuck the hell off!" Everyone sitting and standing at the table looked to Willow in shock. Not that she had hit Harmony but because she swore.

Buffy didn't want to see willow get hurt if Harmony was to attack her so she stood up and gently grabbed Willow's arm.

"Will? Come on please, she's not worth it. Come on sit back down." When Willow still wouldn't budge Buffy pleaded one last time for her to.

"Will, please no more violence. There's been too much already." Willow turned her head to look at Buffy who looked both sad and worried at the same time before nodding her head and sitting back down only this time she pulled Buffy down beside her.

"Okay I warned you. By school time tomorrow, everyone is gonna know about what happened with your dad and his tax broker and why all of a sudden you find yourself out on the street." Cordy smirked and grabbed Xander's hand to get him to dance. Before leaving she asked Willow and Buffy if they'd be okay. When they told her to go dance they left ignoring the glares Harmony was giving them.

Harmony took one last look at Willow and Buffy and stormed off in a huff, quickly followed by the few girls' who had been with her.

Oz looked from Willow to Buffy before smiling and nudging Devon to make him get up.

"I'm sorry I ruined your night. Maybe I should just go." But Buffy really didn't want to leave. The Bronze or Willow. She just didn't think that she was worth all this hassle.

They both looked at each other catching the others eyes and holding them for a long moment before quickly darting them away.

"Right let the fun having begin by us going onto the dance floor and rescuing Cor from Xander's dancing."

"Lets go, I haven't seen anyone ever dance as bad as him. Does he do it on purpose or is that real?"

Both girls were laughing as they made their way to the dance floor at Xander's antics. Everyone pretty much forgot about or didn't mention what had happened earlier and enjoyed the rest of the night. Buffy for once actually felt like a normal teenager and not a scared rabbit stuck in a small foxhole.

The next week passed slowly. The cops were trying to hunt down Hank who had disappeared.

Buffy was starting to feel comfortable just being in her own skin. Living with Giles was showing her that fear didn't have to rule her. She was even beginning to feel comfortable hanging out with her new group of friends and not having to always clock watch to make sure she wasn't late home.

The one thing she was confused about was Willow. She loved being round her but she was sure there was more to their friendship than just friendship. She liked her a little too much for it to be strictly platonic, but she refused to do anything that would end their friendship. It was too important to her. She decided to just leave it alone and hoped it went away.

It was a Saturday night exactly one month after Buffy had moved in with Giles. Hank still hadn't been found though the police were still looking. Buffy's life was moving on but she still felt that as long as he was out there that he would come for her and that thought scared the hell outta her. The police had told her to carry protection in the form of pepper spray so she now had a canister for every bag.

Willow was coming over to collect her then they were meeting up with the rest of the group before heading over to the movies. There was a new film out that Willow really wanted to see and her infectious giddiness surrounding it had the gang all going.

Hearing the horn of Willow's car Buffy grabbed her bag and shouted to Giles that she was going before leaving to meet her friend.

Willow had had enough. She was going to tell Buffy how she felt. She had been trying to work up the courage when she heard about the release of a movie she wanted to see. It was the perfect thing. Deciding on a plan of action she told the guys that they were going as well, only they wouldn't make it to the film.

They would be coming in Cordy's car and just before the movie started Willow would get a call saying that Cordy had a flat tire.

Buffy thought that Willow seemed a little quiet. She had been hyper all week about seeing this film and now she looked… well actually she looked kinda queasy.

"Me? I'm fine! Totally!" Willow had squeaked out that whole sentence and Buffy was really starting to worry now.

"Will, you're not fine. Fine lives in the next state to where you're at right now. Spill what's wrong?"

"Well there is something but if I tell ya you need to be quiet 'til I finish okay?" Seeing Buffy nod She began.

"See there's this person I like, well more than like and I really want to ask them out but I'm not sure how they would take it."

The moment she had spoken, Buffy knew that she was in love with Willow. She wouldn't be in that much pain from hearing Willow say she liked someone if it wasn't love.

"I guess I'm scared this person won't like me that way." Buffy was shocked. Did Willow not know how great she was?

"Will how could anyone resist you. I mean come on! You're funny, nice, beautiful and very sweet. If this person doesn't like you then they don't deserve you."

She likes girls'? Just my luck. Pulling herself together to answer Buffy turned to face the road again hoping to hide her pain at the thought of Willow with someone who wasn't her.

Willow stopped the car but Buffy didn't notice. Turning to face her friend she smiled at the way Buffy was chewing her lower lip and pouting.

"Good. So you want to go out on a date with me then?" Willow tried to keep a straight face as Buffy's head whipped round to face her so fast she was surprised she didn't get whiplash.

Buffy was shocked. Willow just asked her out on a date! Looking over at Willow she noticed that she was trying to hide a smirk. Oh does she not mean it? No she couldn't mean it I mean I'm nothing special so it must have been a joke. She couldn't have known it would have hurt me cause she wouldn't have said that if she knew it would hurt. Right?

Buffy was beginning to doubt her own sanity when a soft touch on her arm brought her back to the present.

The lack of response from Buffy was concerning Willow. Noticing that her face transformed from surprise to hope and then to confusion and hurt, Willow thought she better say something.

"Buffy? I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you. I just needed to tell you how I feel. Nothing has to happen or change between us if you don't want it to. I mean your still going through all that stuff with Hank so I understand you not wanting to get involved with any one but don't let it ruin out friendship please." Willow was begging by the end of her impromptu speech.

"Will I… You don't want to get involved with me. I have major issues that no one should have to deal with. Lease of all someone I…" Buffy trailed off not wanting to admit what she knew was true just yet.

"Buffy I know about all your issues as you call them because I've been here with you through it all, well some of it, and I still want to give us a shot. If you don't like me that way then it's fine but if you do then stop with the self flagellation and date me!"

"Self flagellation huh? I do like you Will. I more than like but… If we were to do this then I would need to know that we'll still be friends even after I mess it up."

Willow looked into Buffy's eyes and she could see how much their friendship meant to the other girl.

"Your aren't gonna mess up. I wont let you. But if that's what you need to hear then I promise I will be your friend if we ever do spilt up. Happy?"

Though she was still wary Buffy found it hard to refuse Willow so she gave a small nod of her head while staring at her hands.

"Good then we can go to the movies and enjoyed the film and that can count as our first date!"

"What about the guys?" Buffy didn't really want their first date to be witnessed by their friends.

"Don't worry. I had a plan worked out where they don't show up. It was always only gonna be me and you from the start." Willow admitted with a sheepish smile.

"Ohh sneaky." As Willow restarted the engine Buffy looked at the girl who she had fallen for hard. Taking a deep breath she reached over and took Willow's free hand and held it in hers hoping that it was okay to do so. When Willow turned to face her with a smile Buffy felt better about taking that risk.

"This is my first date ya know? Even if anyone had asked me out I doubt Hank would have let me go. Its nice not having to stress about what I'm gonna do that's gonna set him off every three seconds. I just wish the cops would find him already."

When they arrived at the cinema, Willow's phone rang just as she thought it would. Smiling over at Buffy and giving her hand a firm squeeze she answered.

She disconnected and looked over to Buffy who seemed to be trying to hide her smirk.

"So you really did have this all planned huh?" Willow nodded her head not feeling one bit guilty about it.

As the girls entered the cinema neither one noticed the car pull up that had been following them all night. Nor did they notice the driver who was smiling a sick smile before he circled round to wait for them to exit.

The girls exited the cinema feeling good. They had enjoyed the movie and their date so far had gone well. They shared popcorn, candy and a large coke. The whole way through the film they had held hands but nothing more.

As they were walking to Willow's car chatting about a stunt that been used in the film, Buffy had a feeling of dread come over her. Glancing around to see if anyone was there she saw no one. As they were crossing the parking lot a noise interrupted they chat. Looking towards the direction the sound came from they never notice the man step up behind them.

"Hello Baby girl." Buffy froze. Turning she saw Hank. The first thing she noticed was that he had a gun directed at her and Willow and that he was drunk.

"Get in the car now or I kill her." One look in his eyes and Buffy knew he wasn't bluffing. Not knowing what to do Buffy looked over to Willow and got her answer. She looked scared and Buffy blamed herself for that. If they had never become friends Willow wouldn't be in the predicament she was now. She was going with Hank and she knew that she would die because of it. That or wish she was dead.

Putting on a brave smile, but not being able to stop the tears from falling, she mouthed goodbye to Willow before turning and walking over to the car Hank pointed to and getting in.

Willow watched in horror as Buffy said goodbye and got into the car with her father. Bringing out her phone she dialed the police and told them what had happened and gave them the license plate of his car. Next she phoned Giles and told him before getting into her car and driving over to his place. When she got there she couldn't contain her sobs any longer and broke down as soon as he opened the door to her.

They drove for only ten minutes before Hank stopped the car. Looking out the window she realized that he had taken them back to the house where it all started.

He's too drunk to know that they will check here. Maybe there's a chance – her internal thinking was cut off when he grabbed her by the hair and dragged her into the house before throwing her to the stairs.

"You BITCH! Why the FUCK did you have to open you BIG mouth!?! Do you have ANY idea what I'm gonna DO to you know you little FUCKER!?!"

Each word was accompanied by a punch, slap or kick to a body that had only just healed itself.

Buffy's hope that someone would find her left her as he started pulling her up the stairs and she realized just what he was going to do to her. She didn't know if she could live through that again. She didn't want to have to live through that ever again.

She watched from an odd angle as he kicked open her bedroom door and threw her to the floor. She watched as he grabbed a pair of scissors off her dresser before turning to her. She watched as he started cutting her clothes from her body while deliberately letting the points of the scissors cut into her skin.

Buffy was resigned to her fate. If she hadn't of gone Willow would be dead and Buffy felt she could live with a lot but never Willow dying because she didn't do something to help her.

When she was naked he picked her up by the neck and threw her roughly on the bed before unlooping the belt from his jeans and using it to bind her arms to the head of the bed. She felt a lump rise in her throat.

How could he be doing this, standing there taking off his clothes, getting ready to rape her when she used to adore him.

Growing up she had loved both her parents. They used to go on family outings and have fun. It changed when her dad lost his job. He got moody and took it out on her. She never dreamt he would take it this far.

He crawled onto the bed and stalked up her body like an animal would. Her eyes widened in fear when her reached between her legs. She only felt a small sense of relief when he continued on 'til he was straddling her head and forcing his cock into her mouth. Gagging she tried to breathe but as she did she got a whiff of his smell and instantly regretted doing it.

Looking into his eyes she no longer saw the man who held her when she fell off her bike or the man who taught the to swim. She saw a man who was raping her and at that moment Buffy cracked.

As he was thrusting into her mouth she opened wide and sunk her teeth hard into his penis. She watched with satisfaction as his eyes watered and he fell off her, off the bed and rolled onto the floor in pure agony, crawling into a protective position.

She spat his blood from her mouth and tried to move but she was still tied to the bed and could only pray that he was in pain a little longer because she knew that he was really gonna kill her for that.

"The police are out looking. I'm sure they'll find them." Giles didn't sound to sure of that himself and Xander saw right through it.

"Yeah because they have done such a great job of arresting him in the past month! He's got her and doing God knows what while we just sit here drinking tea!"

"Xander," she repeated more calmly, "he was so drunk I don't think he could really focus enough to hurt her tonight so they have until he sobers up at least."

Giles looked away knowing for a fact that Hank being drunk didn't mean anything. The others never noticed.

"Your right Will. I'm just upset is all." Willow just nodded before going back to recriminating herself for Buffy getting taken by Hank while she did nothing and hoping that what she had said was true and Buffy wasn't getting hurt or worse.

Buffy didn't know how much time had passed. Hank was still sprawled out on the floor in agony. Every so often he would muttered about how he was going to keep her tied up and use her as his own personal sex slave. Buffy tuned him out. She lay on her old bed thinking about times when she didn't have to fear anything from the man lying before her now. She finally cried for the first time since she met Hank outside the cinema. She didn't cry for the state she was in now or for what she feared Hank would do when he got control of his body again but she cried for the little girl she had been. She cried for her, knowing that now her father had stuck his – thing – in her mouth that she would never be that girl again.

The noise seemed to come to her from a distance. She heard feet running up the stairs before a familiar form stood in her bedroom doorway.

Officer Burkle took one look at the naked Buffy before taking off her coat to shield the girl before other officers, who were all male, burst into the room.

Hank was picked up and handcuffed with the officers ignoring his calls for a doctor and manhandling him out of the room.

Officer Burkle meanwhile was kneeling beside Buffy and untying her arms from their restraints.

"We have to take you to a hospital to get you checked out. Make sure nothings broken."

Buffy looked into the kind eyes of the police officer before leaning over the bed and vomiting while thinking that something was broken – her.

Officer Burkle tried to get Buffy to tell them what had happened in her own words on the way to hospital but all Buffy would say was, "he never got what he wanted" and left it at that.

When they arrived Buffy was taken in to see a doctor and Officer Burkle went alone with her telling her partner to contact Giles.

The phone ringing startled everyone and Giles spilt his tea in a haste to answer it.

"Hello? You did? She is, how bad is it?" The people sitting around him all leaned forward to see what his next response would be.

Willow burst into tears thinking that Buffy was dead. Giles raised his head and noticed that all the young people were crying. Oz had his arms around Willow while Xander was comforting Cordelia and Devon was standing by the window. He soon realized what they thought.

"They found Buffy. Hank had taken her back to her old home. When they arrived he was lying in agony on the floor and Buffy was bound to the bed naked. They've taken her to the hospital. I'm on my way now, who's going with me?"

Giles was worried. The police officer he spoke with never told him how bad Hank had hurt Buffy.

Buffy was lying in a hospital bed with bandages covering her upper torso where Hank had cut her. She had been told her uncle was on the way and she just wanted him there. She knew she would feel better when he was.

She had been told that Hank was in the same hospital receiving treatment for his bite and she didn't like thinking he was in the same building though she had been assured that there were armed guards both outside his room and hers.

She looked up as she heard a noise and her eyes filled with tears when Giles stepped into the room. As soon as she saw him she knew that Hank wouldn't get to her.

She stiffened when he embraced her and he felt it. He let go immediately and stepped back to give her space. She looked at him and knew he was thinking that she wasn't comfortable around him.

"Giles please don't. I'm just sore that's all. Come here." Holding her hand out she let out a breath when he took it and sat on the chair beside her.

"How are you?" He cringed when he looked over at her thinking that it was a stupid question to ask.

"I have a few deep cuts and three of my ribs are broken but other than that just some bruising.

"Yes I got that off the doctor but how are you?" He stressed the question with a small squeeze of her hand.

"I constantly feel like I'm going to vomit. I can't get his taste out of my mouth no matter what I do. I thought I was dreaming when the cops arrived. He wanted to break me and for a while I thought he'd finally gone and done it."

"I thought about the progress I had made. I have my friends and you and I don't want anything to happen to that. I have actually liked my life these past few weeks and I want that back."

Buffy took a breath before telling him that Hank was in the room a few doors down and that even with armed guards she didn't feel safe and asked him to stay.

Giles clenched his jaw at the tone of her voice. In hope of stilling his anger he closed his eyes and took deep breaths lest her frighten Buffy.

"I was just going to tell the others to come in. I wont be gone more than a minute." Buffy let go of his hand reluctantly and let him leave.

True to his word he was back not thirty seconds later with Willow, Xander, Oz, Cordy and Devon in tow.

Willow was the first to reach her. She was about to throw her arms around Buffy when she paused to really look at her – girlfriend?. Seeing a small smile on Buffy's face she carried on wrapping her arms around her gently and giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"Man Buff, what… glad your okay. You are right?" He was looking at her with such concern.

Buffy looked at the people surrounding her and let her eyes connect with Willow's.

"Guys I'm kinda tired do you mind if I get some rest for a while? I'll see you all tomorrow." She didn't mean to be rude but she was tired and she wanted to talk to Willow alone.

They smiled and said their goodbyes before leaving. Giles kissed her on the cheek and told her he wouldn't go far already knowing that she wouldn't feel safe if he left. He felt pride knowing that she trusted him that much.

When only Willow remained Buffy patted the bed beside her in invitation. She sat and picked up Buffy's hand running her thumb over her knuckles.

"What happened?" Buffy already knowing the question was coming and told her what she wanted to know.

"After we left you he didn't talk, just drove. It's a miracle he didn't crash he was so drunk. The next thing I know we're at my old place and he's telling me to get out. I was kinda numb. He dragged me into the house and starting shouting at me while hitting anywhere he could reach. He pulled me upstairs and…" By this point Buffy had tears falling down her face and Willow was opening crying.

"…he cut my clothes off me and tied me to the bed with his belt before undressing. He c…climbed up me and sat on my head and stuck his – thing – in my mouth. I started asking myself who this man was because he wasn't the man I grew up loving, then I just cracked. I bit down hard 'til I felt blood. He ended up on the floor in agony and stayed there 'til the cops came."

Willow hugged Buffy before pulling back and giving her a small smile and another kiss, this time on her forehead.

Buffy just gave her a sad smile thinking that maybe Willow was repulsed by what had happened and wanted nothing more to do with her, before lying back down and sighing. Letting go of Willow's hand she started a conversation that she knew if it went the way she thought it would her and Willow would be no more than friends.

"Look Will, I understand if you wanna put this thing we have on hold or just stop it altogether. I don't feel clean, I can't get his taste outta my mouth so I don't expect you to –" she was cut off as Willow placed her lips over her own.

The kiss was meant to reassure Buffy that Willow still wanted a relationship with her but it quickly grew out of control.

Lips caressed while tongues searched out the others. Out of breath they pulled back before Willow leaned forward to leave one last small kiss on Buffy's mouth. They both jumped when they heard a polite cough behind them.

Turning they saw Giles in the doorway. Willow turned beet red while Buffy, who didn't know what to expect, begged him with her eyes not to say anything.

Willow looked to Buffy and they both started laughing. After calming down somewhat Willow once again kissed Buffy.

"Does that answer your question about whether or not I want out of this relationship or not?"

Buffy smiled once more before starting another kiss, this time to be interrupted by Officer Burkle.

Willow looked to see how Buffy felt about that. Seeing her nod her head that it was fine she got up and went out to talk to Giles.

"Hey Fred." Buffy liked Officer Burkle. She was nice and caring, never pushing her to speak.

"Still sore." She watched as Fred approached the bed and sit in the empty chair beside it.

"He's not my father! Not anymore." Buffy interrupted her with venom in her voice when she talked about him.

"Sorry. We've arrested Hank and when he gets released from hospital we're taking him in for questioning then he's going to spend time in jail before the trail. There is no way he'll make bail."

"Wait trial? Will I have to be there? In the same room as him?" She really wanted to limit her contact with him to only when it was absolutely necessary to see him. She figured like when he got sentenced would be the only time it was absolutely necessary.

"Well if you want we can do it via video link so you wouldn't have to appear in court if that's what you want. I have to go. I just called in to let you know what was happening and to see how you were. Do you want me to send in your girlfriend?"

"Giles hey." Willow didn't know what to say to him. She didn't know how he would take her relationship with Buffy but she was hoping he would be cool about it.

"Willow." Deciding to be frank Giles asked what he really wanted to know. He didn't think it had been going on long because he was sure Buffy would have told him so he asked Willow.

"How long have you and Buffy been together then?" She looked at him to gauge how he was feeling when she saw a smirk that resembled the one Buffy sometimes got she felt better.

"Really it only happened tonight, but we've been working up to it the whole time I think. We both want you to be okay with this. I know you and Buffy are close and how much she respects you. If you tell her to stop seeing me I'm sure she would but I hope it won't come to that."

Giles looked at Willow shocked that she would assume Buffy would willingly leave her if he asked her to. He saw that she actually believed what she was saying and knew she was feeling unimportant right now.

"Willow, Buffy would not just leave you because I asked her too. She cares very deeply for you. The very fact that she even trusts you with her heart at a time in her life when everything is upside down says quite a bit."

Willow looked over at Giles and realized that he was right. She was about to ask him where Hank was when Officer Burkle came over to them.

"Hello again. I have informed Buffy that we've arrested Hank and that we're taking him with us when he gets checked out of here. She asked me to send you both in."

Willow and Giles walked back into Buffy's room and both realized that Buffy looked very tired. Giles sat on the chair that Fred had vacated after fetching one for Willow and picked up Buffy's left hand while Willow picked up her right.

Giving them both a sleepy smile Buffy was out like a light, safe in the hands of her protector and her girlfriend.

She smiled thinking that everything would be better now and that she could finally move on with her life.

The doctor walked in and smiled at the sleeping man before walking over to Buffy.

"He put up quite the argument last night about staying. Miss Rosenberg wanted to stay also but he convinced her to get some rest."

Giles stirred before jumping up and looking round the room. Buffy and the doctor looked on in amusement at his antics.

"Giles? You okay?" Buffy tried hard to keep the laughter out of her voice but failed and began giggling. She stopped soon after she started with a moan of pain. Giles was at her side instantly.

"What is it?" The worry in his voice caused the doctor to smile. She had heard all about the man who refused to leave his niece's side and it was understandable given the circumstances.

"Just have to remember that I can't do that just yet. I'm fine sit down and tell the doctor to let me out of here already."

"Yes she should be fine she just needs rest and maybe some pain killers for her ribs."

"Okay then. You get ready and I'll go and phone Willow to let her know that you're coming home today."

Buffy was left alone with the doctor. She was in the middle of telling her about how it was important she got rest when Officer Burkle appeared in the doorway.

"Of course. If I don't see you again take care." This last part was directed to Buffy who smiled in return.

Buffy took one look at Fred's face and knew whatever she had to tell her was heavy.

"Buffy I don't know how to say this so I'm just going to come right out with it. I mean this is something that should be delivered to a person straight away so I'm not going to dance around the subject cause if it was –"

Buffy closed her eyes in pain. She wasn't sad that he was dead but she was angry that he took the easy way out. She wanted him to go to jail and suffer for everything he put her through.

Fred nodded her head to show she understood and left. A few minutes later Giles came in.

They arrived home at around lunchtime and everyone was there when they came in. Nobody mentioned Hank. Xander however noticed the new closeness between Willow and Buffy. Smiling at Buffy he grabbed Willow's arms and starting dragging her outside.

"Xander what's going on?" Buffy was confused about why he was practically pulling Willow out the door.

"I just really need to talk to Will. We'll be right back. Leave me some cake or your dead missy!"

"If you hurt her in any way I'll… well I don't know what I'll do so just don't hurt her. She's been through enough already."

"Aaawww Xand that's so sweet!" Willow threw her arms around him hugging him for all she was worth.

"Oh sorry! You don't have to worry. I don't plan on ever hurting her. I'm in love with her Xand."

He hugged her and told her everything would be fine. Looking through the window at Buffy, she believed him.

Nearly two weeks had passed since Buffy had been kidnapped, freed, hospitalized, had found out her father was dead and let out of hospital.

Willow and Giles were worried. Buffy had been acting as if nothing had happened and they feared that she wasn't dealing as well as she wanted people to believe.

Living in the same house with her Giles was privy to information the others didn't know. Buffy was having nightmares. Very loud ones.

He would wake up and hear her screaming. Sometimes it was "No" but most of the time it was "Please don't" He was at a loss about what to do to help. So he told Willow what he knew and what he suspected.

She informed him that when it was just the two of them Buffy was quiet. It was like she retreated into herself when the crowds disappeared.

Buffy looked up as Giles entered the kitchen. Lowering her head so he wouldn't see her tears she passed him the tea she had made before finding an excuse to go to her room.

She didn't want them to know that she wasn't dealing well with what had happened. She had nightmares nearly every night, which she was sure Giles heard, but thankfully he never spoke of. In some the scene played out as it did that night, but in others it changed. It some Buffy stalled a little to long and Hank killed Willow, and in others the cops never arrived and he raped her repeatedly before leaving her there lying in pools of her own blood.

Lying on her bed she tried to figure out a way to make the dreams stop. She was afraid to even go to sleep and the chamomile tea and herb drinks she had tried so far weren't helping even a little.

She had a problem, she knew, but she didn't want to talk about it, not to anyone.

Willow arrived to collect Buffy. They were spending the day at the beach along with the rest of the gang. Saying hey to Giles she smiled when he shouted for Buffy to hurry up. Looking at him she saw the worry lines gracing his brow.

"Yes, I'm afraid so." Giles looked tired and worn so Willow decided to suggest something that she wasn't sure he would like, what with Buffy and her dating.

"How about Buffy stays at mine tonight? You can get some rest and if she has a bad dream I'll try to get her to talk about it rather than letting her stew over them in silence."

Giles looked to Willow not knowing what to say. On the one hand they were dating but he hoped that neither Buffy nor Willow were ready for that kind of involvement.

"Ask her and see how she feels about it, if she agrees then its fine with me." Willow gave Giles a loose hug just as Buffy entered the room.

Buffy was looking forward to spending a day at the beach. There would be sun, sea and sand, which would take her mind off other things. Plus she got to send the whole day with her friends and her girlfriend.

Jumping into Willow's convertible, she started fiddling with the radio hoping to get a good station. Settling on one she relaxed back against the soft leather and closed her eyes only to open them when she felt Willow's lips on her own before closing them again to savor the kiss.

Opening her mouth for her girlfriend she sucked on her tongue while wrapping her hand in Willow's hair. As they kissed, everything fell away for Buffy until the only think that existed was Willow. She needed this. When she was kissing Willow it was like she was erasing what had happened. With Willow she felt clean.

Hearing a moan coming from Willow Buffy knew she should really stop but she didn't want to. Pulling Willow as close as she could she intensified the kiss. She sucked, nibbled, caressed and searched her mouth as if she had never kissed her before. Her free hand was no longer free as Willow grabbed it within her own and was stroking the soft skin she found there. Buffy felt like she was on fire. The barking of a dog pulled them both out of the trance like state they were in and they smiled at each other while regaining their seating positions for the journey.

Once again resting against the seat Buffy listened to the radio and tried to get her body under control after the kiss she and Willow had just shared.

Once upon a time there was a girl
In her early years she had to learn
How to grow up living in a war that she called home

Never know just where to turn for shelter from the storm
Hurt me to see the pain across my mother's face
Every time my father's fist would put her in her place
Hearing all the yelling I would cry up in my room
Hoping it would be over soon

Willow reached over to change the station but Buffy caught her hand bringing it up to her mouth and placing a small kiss on the palm whispering, "Don't"

Buffy lay her head back and closed her eyes letting the words wash over her, feeling emotions that she had tried to keep buried but were being opened like a can due to the words being sang.

Bruises fade father, but the pain remains the same
And I still remember how you kept me so afraid
Strength is my mother for all the love she gave
Every morning that I wake I look back to yesterday
And I'm OK

I often wonder why I carry all this guilt
When it's you that helped me put up all
These walls I've built
Shadows stir at night through a crack in the door
The echo of a broken child screaming "please no more"

By this point Buffy had silent tears running down her face thinking of all the times in the past when that very thing happened to her.

Daddy don't you understand the damage
You have done
To you it's just a memory, but for me it
Still lives on

Bruises fade father, but the pain remains the same
And I still remember how you kept me so afraid
Strength is my mother for all the love she gave
Every morning that I wake I look back to yesterday

It's not easy to forget
All the lines you left along her neck
When I was thrown against cold stairs
And every day I'm afraid to come home
In fear of what I might see there

The song finished and Willow stopped the car. Unhooking her seatbelt she climbed across the car and took the sobbing Buffy into her arms whispering words of love and trying to soothe her cries of pain and remembrance.

Buffy didn't know how long they sat there on the side of the road. She didn't really care. She knew that she couldn't go on like she had been. She knew she needed help but she didn't know who to ask for it.

As her tears stopped she raised her head to look at Willow. Seeing matching tears falling down her cheeks tried wiping them away with her thumbs.

Willow smiled through her tears and said, "how can I not when your in so much pain?" though never expected an answer.

Buffy looked at her and just knew it was the right time to tell her how she felt.

Willow's smile made Buffy feel better but when she heard Willow's declaration of love she pulled her into her arms again and kissed her letting all her passion, love and trust show through.

After they had both calmed Willow moved back over to her side of the car and reached into the back seat for her backpack. Grabbing it, she riffled through until she found what she was looking for. Pulling out the face wipes she gave one to Buffy and took one herself.

Buffy accepted it with gratitude really not wanting to show up at the beach with big red puffy eyes.

"No, but we can talk about it later. Right now I just want to have one relaxing day at the beach."

"Okay. What swimsuit did you bring?" Willow looked Buffy up and down as she asked.

With a smirk Buffy replied, "well your just gonna have to wait and see." Getting back to the talk they would be having later Buffy continued, "It means a lot that I can talk to you about this. I really don't want to discuss it with strangers."

Willow smiled at her but was secretly thinking that she might have to. Remembering her conversation with Giles she remembered she still had to ask Buffy if she wanted to stay over.

"You want to sleep over at mine tonight? We can make it like a slumber party and rent videos and eat way too much."

"I would Will but I can't see Giles letting me." Plus you would only hear the dreams then.

They arrived at the beach to find everyone already there. Xander was standing around a mini barbeque cooking the burgers, Cordy was taking a swim to cool off, Oz and Devon were playing soccer and Lori was lying getting a tan. Buffy hadn't really talked to Lori much as she was always off doing other things and hardly ever with the group, but she knew from Willow that she and Oz had been dating for a while and were in love.

Plopping down the bags she walked over to Xander to say hey while willow made herself comfortable and laid out two towels for them to lie on.

"Yo Xand, are the burgers ready yet?" Buffy had skipped breakfast and just had juice so she was pretty hungry.

"She's over by Lori" Looking over Buffy saw Willow removing her clothing so that she was left in her bikini. She felt her mouth go dry at the sight. It was all black. The panties had diamond shapes decorating the front. She noticed that when she turned that there was writing on the back – Sexy Momma.

"Xand I think I'll just go sit by Will for a while." His laughter followed her the whole way over.

"Hey Will nice costume." Buffy raked her eyes over her girlfriend as she was telling her this. She smiled when she saw the faint blush that spread over Willow's body when she said this as it nearly always did when she complimented her.

"Well it is kinda hot out, you should really have on less clothing. You could get sunstroke otherwise." Willow was hiding her grin but not very well.

Buffy shrugged before slipping off her cut-offs and then her tank top to revel a one-piece blue swimsuit. Willow had a pout on her face when Buffy looked up.

"What?" Buffy was suddenly feeling like she should put her clothes back on. Willow had never seen this much of her before. What of she was disappointed with her? She had worn the one-piece because there was still visible bruising and marks on her body that it hid. A bikini would have shown it all off.

Willow had been watching Buffy's face and could almost hear what she was thinking. Cursing herself for being stupid she stood and leaned in to place a kiss on Buffy's lips not caring who saw them.

"I forgot. Sorry. You look beautiful." Leaning back so she could look into Buffy's eyes she saw all of Buffy's barriers come down letting her see all the pain, hate, fear and love Buffy had in her before they came back up again. Vowing to herself that they would work this out she pulled Buffy down and made her lay on her stomach on she could put lotion on her back.

As Willow's hands smoothed in the cool lotion Buffy found herself drifting off. She was rudely woken by Oz kicking the ball over in their direction by accident. It hit her in the side and she had to swallow her grunt of pain so he wouldn't feel bad and so Willow wouldn't worry. However Willow noticed the grimace of pain on Buffy's face and scooted closer placing a kiss on the nape of her neck.

"Yeah I'm good Oz. No worries." She felt Willow place another small kiss on the nape of her neck and thought that the pain had been worth it for those two small kisses

As they said goodnight to the last member of the gang, Buffy and Willow both headed back into Willow's living room to clear up from the movie night Xander had insisted on having when they were at the beach.

Willow's musings brought Buffy out of the mental debate she had been having over where to put the dishes: sink or dishwasher? Dishwasher it is.

"Yeah Will. Xand told me that he told Cordy he loved her and she didn't say it back. He's bummed about it."

They finished tidying up and then after dragging themselves up the flight of stairs, they both collapsed onto Willow's bed and stared at her starry ceiling.

They both changed into pjs with little embarrassment on either side. For one thing, Buffy was too tired to care, what with getting next to no sleep for a while and Willow was too busy trying not to stare at Buffy to be worried about Buffy staring at her.

As soon as her head hit the pillow, Buffy felt sleep about to claim her when she felt Willow's arm slide round her waist holding her securely.

"Is this okay?" Willow had whispered the words in her ear had Buffy fought to repress the shiver it caused to travel the length of her spine.

"It's fine Baby. Night." She was snuggling further into Willow when she heard it whispered back and then she was asleep.

Willow was woke up in the early hours of the morning by a scream. Sitting up and reaching for Buffy she found the bed empty. Jumping out of bed she turned on the light and saw Buffy huddled in a tight ball beside the bed in the middle of a nightmare. Rushing to her side she tried waking her but all she got for her efforts was a punch to the face that actually drew blood from her mouth.

Thinking fast, she ran into the bathroom and filled an empty jar of face cream with cold water. Reaching Buffy again she threw the water over her and watched her girlfriend wake from the dream that had tears running down her face.

"W…What's goin' on?" Buffy was still half asleep and was trying to shake off her dream.

"You were having a nightmare and I couldn't get you to wake up so I threw water over you. How did you end up on the floor?"

Buffy took in her surrounds and then remembered that in her dream she had been falling down the stairs and thinking that it really hurt. Now she knew why. She was about to answer when she got a look at Willow's face for the first time.

"H…how did that happen?" One look at her face and Willow knew that she already knew without her answering the question.

Buffy couldn't believe that she had done that to Willow. Jumping up she grabbed her clothes and began to dress in a hurry when she felt two arms circle her body to get her to stop.

"Hey where you going? It's only 4am." Willow didn't like the look on Buffy's face.

"This was a bad idea. I shouldn't be here with you." Buffy was really panicking. She had hurt the one person other than Giles and Xander that she felt really close to and she had drawn blood! She had to just get away from her before she could hurt her anymore.

Willow was starting to worry. She just knew that Buffy wasn't talking about a simple sleep over. She also knew that if she let Buffy walk out then that would be it for them.

"Don't leave. Please. You didn't mean to hurt me I know that. Come back to bed and tell me what happened."

Buffy looked from the blocked door to Willow's hopeful face. Lowering her head she sighed and complied.

Grabbing Buffy's hand Willow, led her back over to the bed and they sat down, neither knowing just where to begin or how to save their relationship.

"God no! Never of you. I'm scared of me. I know I'm gonna mess this up and I know I can't stop that, but I just don't want to lose you and I know that I will and it terrifies me."

Buffy was crying softly and Willow did the only thing she could think of to help her. She put her arms around Buffy, who clung to them, and she started whispering that Buffy wouldn't lose her and that she was in it for the long haul.

As Buffy's sobs calmed down she began to speak though her voice betrayed her fears.

Buffy sadly nodded her head thinking that Willow had seen sense about their relationship.

"We can't know what's gonna happen. Either one of us could get hit by a bus tomorrow and it would all be over, but know this: For as long as I can be, I will be with you and nobody is going to mess with that you hear me? Nobody!"

As Buffy contemplated what willow had said she began to think about her life after leaving Hank the first time. She wanted that life back, but she knew that she was going to need help and she had a feeling that Willow, Giles and Xander would be the three to help her get through all the shit she had in her head.

"Your bossy you know that? I have a lot of stuff going on in here" pointing at her head "and it might take a while to sort through but I really want you with me when I do." The answer to the semi question she got was Willow's next three words.

They both climbed back into bed with Willow wrapped tightly around Buffy and they slept with Buffy having no more nightmares for the rest of the night.

Rolling over, Buffy stared at the girl laying beside her on the bed. The last few months had been hell. Between having to go and see councilors and getting caught up on schoolwork, Buffy had hardly any time for just herself. She treasured the moments when it was quiet and nobody was asking her questions and wanting her to share her feelings.

Willow had been like a rock to her. She never pushed her to do anything that she felt uncomfortable with. She gave her constant support. There was just one problem.

Willow didn't seem like she ever wanted to make love to Buffy. Every time she tried to touch her or take their kisses further, Willow backed off. She knew that Willow loved her and she knew that she loved Willow, but she couldn't help but think that maybe Willow didn't want her that way.

She was roused from her depressing thoughts as the redhead began to stir. Sleepy green eyes locked onto hazel.

"Woke up not long ago. Couldn't get back to sleep, so I just lay here thinking."

Willow snuggled closer to Buffy in return and let her hand draw circles on Buffy's right arm.

"I was thinking about how I'm lucky to have a gorgeous girlfriend to wake up to when I spend the night."

Willow gave her a smile before leaning in to give her a kiss. As usual, Buffy felt her blood pressure rise when their lips made contact. Wanting more she lightly sucked on Willow's bottom lip before doing the same to her top. Hearing a moan come from the other girl, she felt emboldened. Rolling onto her back and pulling Willow with her so she was on top, Buffy let her hands roam over her girlfriends back, thinking that they would finally make love. Willow had other ideas. With one last kiss she sat up, stretched, and made her way to the bathroom for a shower not noticing the hurt look on Buffy's face.

She'd had enough. This was killing her and she had to do something about it, even if it turned out badly. She dressed and waited downstairs for Willow to finish her shower and idly flipped through the TV channels, not really watching what she was seeing.

She didn't have to wait long. Soon Willow was showered and dressed and in the kitchen making breakfast. Buffy rose and followed her.

"Will? Can we talk?" She sat at the kitchen table and waited for Willow to join her.

Buffy took a deep breath and tried to collect her thoughts so they came out clear and not jumbled.

"We need to talk about us. Most of the time it's great, perfect even, but lately I've noticed that you don't… you seem to keep me at arms length. What is it? Are you… do you want to break up with me but just not know how to tell me?"

This was her main fear, her and Willow breaking up and Buffy loosing not only her girlfriend but also her best friend.

Buffy looked at her trying to gage if she was as shocked as she seemed. She decided that she'd give her the benefit of the doubt for now.

"Will every time a kiss goes a little further you freeze up and run for whatever distraction you can. Last week it was a class of juice, this morning it was a shower. I just need to know where I stand with you because right now I'm getting the impression that you don't want me in you're life let alone your bed."

"That's what this is about? Sex? Well sorry I'm not as gung ho about it as you seem to be. I'm new to all this you know!"

Buffy paled, hurt beyond anything that had ever happened to and hurt her before. Willow saw the color drain from her face and thought over what she had just said and her eyes got huge. She jumped up and got to her knees in front of Buffy who was looking anywhere but her while trying desperately not to cry again, it seemed like all she had been doing for the past year was cry.

"Baby, I never meant that like it sounded. I just mean that sex is a very big step. I don't want to rush you into something your not ready for and the same goes for myself. It doesn't mean that I don't love you or want you because I do, so much; it just means that I think it's worth waiting for ya know? I want it to be right, and it will happen when the time is right."

Buffy's eyes finally met Willow's and she couldn't keep her tears from falling any longer. Pulling Willow into a hug and burying her face in her neck she breathed in the delectable scent of her girlfriend, calming her nerves as she did so. Willow's arms came around Buffy and the two stayed like that for long minutes until Buffy pulled back and raised her lips to Willow's in a gentle kiss.

"I'm sorry. I love you. I just went a little crazy when I thought that maybe you'd come to your senses and were about to dump me and all the baggage I have with me."

"Never gonna happen. I love you. I don't want you to doubt that and if it means that much to you, hell I'll make love to you right here and now."

Buffy gave her a watery smile before bringing their lips together again in another kiss and standing.

"I can wait. I do want to make love to you but, and I think you know this, I still have some reservations about me and sex, but with you… I trust you and I know that when it happens that it'll be well worth that wait and then some."

"I'm gonna head home and pack. I'll see you in a few hours." Buffy's words belied her actions, as she never moved.

"How long is the trip again?" Buffy looked at her girlfriend knowing that she knew exactly how long she would be in Ireland for but humored her anyway.

"Giles and I leave tomorrow and get home in two weeks. And before you start about me leaving you to go off to a foreign country, just remember that I did try to get out of it but Giles really wants to go and see some relative he, we, have over there and he wants me to go. He thinks that a break is just what I need, get away from everything ya know?"

Willow nuzzled her face into Buffy's neck and let her hormones carry her away. Buffy let out a whimper when she felt Willow sucking at her pulse point. She raised her arms and pressed Willow's head closer with one and with the other she used it to travel the length of her girlfriends back. They both became lost in the other.

Willow's hands were messaging Buffy's ass through the sweats she wore and Buffy's were touching the skin of Willow's back as they had moved her top out of the way. Abandoning Buffy's neck, Willow moved her kisses up 'til she reached her mouth.

The kiss was explosive. Both girls were moaning as tongues battled and hands caressed. They were interrupted by the telephone. Both sprang apart like they had been electrocuted, each panting heavily. Without conscious thought Willow answered the phone.

Willow by now had a deer-caught-in-headlights look on her face and Buffy was snickering from the chair she had all but fallen into to.

"Your father and I have decided to prolong out stay in Spain for a few weeks, so we won't be back next week like planned."

Buffy saw Willow face drop and was by her side and holding her hand before Willow answered her mother.

"Yeah okay thanks for letting me know. Bye Mom." Willow didn't wait for a reply and set the receiver down.

Turning to Buffy she told her what her mom said. Buffy knew the abandonment Willow felt by her parents and though that maybe it was just something that happened when you had kids. The parents either never noticed you or noticed you too much for her liking.

Pulling her into a hug, Buffy kept it loose, so as not to flare up any of the passion from before.

The girls were walking towards Buffy and Giles place when Buffy had a thought. Willow's parents weren't coming home now for Spring Break, would Giles let her go to Ireland with them? It would be easy enough to get an extra ticket. She figured she'd ask him before mentioning it to Willow. Turning to her girlfriend she noticed that she appeared to be deep in thought about something.

Willow turned towards her and let a small smile play on her face before facing forward again and talking.

"Just thinking about all the wild orgy parties I can have now that my parents aren't coming home and my girlfriend isn't going to be around."

"Ppfftt. Like you would anyway. Remember the last time they weren't home, the worst you let happen was a pool party that ended at two in the morning and you made everyone tidy up after themselves! Xand was not impressed."

Buffy took her girlfriends hand and pulled her into a kiss to soften her words before walking into the house.

Leaving Willow on the couch, she followed the sounds of Giles singing along to The Who and found him in his bedroom packing a few things.

"Hey Giles. Nearly packed?" She sat on his bed and watched as he finished packing his sweaters, he was taking a lot, and she wondered how cold Ireland actually was.

"No I have a few things still to pack. I kinda need to ask you something and its totally okay if you say no I just wanna ask in case you say yes." She waited 'til she had his full attention and she got it when he sat on the bed beside her.

"Willow's parents called this morning and told her they weren't coming home. Do you think that it would be okay if she was to come to Ireland with us? I mean if you don't want her to or think it world be awkward, you know with the relatives, me and her being together, you can say no. I just thought I'd ask and see if it was even a possibility before saying anything to Will about it."

She waited for Giles to answer her. When he didn't, she looked up from the imaginary lint she had been brushing off her skirt. He looked thoughtful.

"Well we would have to call the airlines and check that they would be room on the flight before getting Willow's hopes up."

Buffy's eyes got huge. Pulling him into a strong hug, something, which she would never, have dared to do to any male a few months ago, she thanked him repeatedly before leaving to call the airlines and check the flight availability.

When she got off the phone she checked to make sure Willow was otherwise occupied before heading off to find Giles again.

"There were two seats left. They've saved one; you just have to sort it out when we check in. Would you mind paying for it then I can pay you back? I have some money saved up but not enough and –"

"Buffy don't be silly of course I'm going to pay and I want no talk of repayments. Lets just call it a gift."

Buffy could feel her eyes get misty and was determined not to cry, settling for a hug she left him to go and tell Willow the good news.

She found her exactly where she left her. Only on the floor instead of the couch.

"Hey Will, you wanna stop that for a minute and come sit with me, I need to tell you something."

"You know how Giles is taking me away for spring break? Well how would you like to come too?"

Buffy was able to sense that her girlfriend didn't want to get her hopes up just yet.

"Yup and we called the airlines and there is room on the flight. So do you wanna go or not?"

She was answered with a kiss that began as a gentle meeting of two mouths but quickly evolved to a passionate embrace, which left both girls panting for breath.

Buffy looked into the hazel eyes in front of her and opened her mouth to speak at the same time as Willow did.

They had arrived in Ireland not long ago and were on their way to a hotel to spend the night before travelling on to meet the relatives they would be staying with. All Buffy knew about them was that the mother was Giles aunt and her grandpas sister.

Buffy looked down at her sleeping girlfriend, who had chosen her chest as a pillow, and smiled thinking about how she was lucky. A soft moan escaped Willow's lips and Buffy watched carefully as her eyelids fluttered.

Willow started to squirm in her sleep and Buffy watched avidly to see what she would do next. Willow always made the cutest noises and tiny movements in her sleep. She didn't have to wait long. Willow's hand, which had been resting on Buffy's thigh, started moving in small circles and Buffy was beginning to feel the effects.

Lifting her own hand from Willow's head she laid it on top of the hand moving on her thigh, resulting in a slight whine to come from her girlfriend. Leaning down she began whispering in Willow's ear to wake her up. It wasn't working and they had just arrived at the hotel.

Giles got out of the van to open the side door and smiled when he saw Willow curled up asleep in Buffy's arms. Motioning for Buffy to hand her over, Buffy scooted to the edge of the seat and he lifted Willow from her arms and carried her inside while Buffy and the driver sorted out the luggage, even though they were only staying the one night, Giles didn't want to leave it in the van.

Buffy was looking around the lobby of the hotel in awe. It was huge, with a large circled seat in the centre and the respiration desk facing it. The ceiling had gold trimmings around the edges and the carpet was thick and very soft to walk on. The walls were papered in soft colours mixing blues and greens with yellows. She wondered just how much this was costing Giles and just how he was paying for it.

Speaking of Giles, she spotted him at the registration desk but Willow wasn't with him. Looking around she saw her girlfriend sitting propped up against the large red plush chair in the corner looking half asleep. Making her way over, she noticed that Willow was looking around the hotel and taking in her surroundings before she met Buffy's eyes, and the spark that had been present ever since the incident in Willow's house before they left, reared back to life full force.

"Hey you. Have a nice nap?" Buffy sat on the seat beside Willow and was surprised when instead of just sitting in the seat she fell back into the softness of it.

"God that should have been caught on camera. Yeah the sleep was nice. Can you believe this hotel? Wonder what the rooms look like."

Giles appeared beside them and they all headed off to find their housing for the night.

"My room is 314, just down the hall and you two will be sharing 320, just here. It was all they had left apparently."

"Kay, well we're gonna head in and get some sleep. What time do you wanna meet for dinner?"

Willow who had started to doze against the wall snapped awake and mumbled and okay before stumbling into the room and collapsing on the couch. Buffy smiled at Giles and arranged to meet him later in the hotel restaurant before entering and closing the door.

The bags were already in the room thanks to the bellboy so all they had to do was get themselves into the bedroom and some comfy clothes to sleep in.

Buffy crouched beside Willow and shook her gently to wake her before helping her stand and moving them both into the bedroom. Just seeing the large bed was making Buffy sleepy and with a few steps they were sprawled out on the bed and asleep in no time, never getting to change or set the clock radio to wake them up.

Giles had been waiting in the hotel restaurant for nearly 15 minutes. They were late. He got up and went over to the registration desk to have someone phone the room for him.

"Giles sorry we kinda just passed out and forgot to set our alarm. Give us half and hour and we'll be down."

"Fine but I would like to eat sometime in the near future and I know how long it takes you to get ready so please hurry."

They disconnected and Giles headed in the bar to wait on his niece and her girlfriend. It occurred to him that he had never really given much thought to the fact that Buffy was in love with another girl. At the time he had been so desperate for her to connect with anyone after Hank, he just seemed to go with the flow as it were. Well it was pointless even entering the 'what ifs', they were together and Buffy was happy and that was all he cared about.

The next day saw a much more refreshed Willow grace their presence. Jet lag was defiantly a bitch.

They were back in the little rented van and heading towards their relativities home. Looking out the window, Buffy thought about how different Ireland was compared to America. Here, everything was green, hills, fields even mountains, but back home there wasn't much of that where she came from.

When she was younger, she used to dream about living in a foreign land away from her father, though the dreams never lasted long before he broke back into her slight reprieve. Now, here she was. In a country far away from home with the man she trusted most in the world and the girl she loved the most. Life was looking pretty good for Buffy.

Her last thought, as the van turned onto a rocky road that signalled that they'd arrived, was that she was finally getting over what had happen and nothing could put her back into that environment ever again. Nothing.

Buffy knew that he still worried about her and she loved him for it but she felt he needed to get out more, meet new people.

They had left Ireland a few hours ago and were on their way back to America, for which Buffy and Willow were both glad. The blonde had liked meeting other family members but it wasn't home.

Feeling a nudge on her shoulder she turned to look into the eyes of her girlfriend.

Buffy gave a laugh which was muffled as she had her head buried in her girlfriends neck.

Taking Buffy's advice, Willow closed her eyes and wrapped her arm tighter around Buffy.

"Its possible that you could be over exaggerating just a little. Ireland wasn't that cold."

Buffy gave him a small smile so he would know that she was only kidding – mostly.

"It was a nice trip. Thank you." It still amazed Buffy that he had taken her at all. Her whole adult life, her mother and father had never shown an interest in her, unless of course her dad was beating the hell out of her and her mom was trying to get him to stop.

Willow took the silence as a good thing and rested her head against Buffy's shoulder, going back to sleep.

Xander lifted her up and spun her around before setting her down and doing the same to Willow.

"Man have I missed you two. Spring break just wasn't the same without my favourite blonde and redhead by my side."

"I mean I had Cordy so I didn't miss you at all." He quickly added before giving a big smile to the girl in question.

"You mean have we got you a present?" Willow smirked and opened the bag, bringing out their gifts.

"Oz and Lori are away for the weekend and Devon is in France. His parents felt he was getting too wild and that he was darkening the family name, so they shipped him over there to try and sort him out." Cordy said as she accepted the wrapped present from Buffy.

Buffy said nothing, she knew first hand what assholes parents could be and everyone knew her thoughts on the subject.

Xander opened his present to find a shirt inside. Taking it out of its wrapping, he turned it around to see that the back of it had a Leprechaun on it with the words 'does this guy make me look tall' on it.

"I can't, I'm beat. All I want to do is crawl into my bed and not leave it again until school starts on Monday morning."

"That actually sounds like a good idea to me, plus I have school work to catch up on before classes start."

"She loves me really." He ran off to catch up with his girlfriend, leaving the two alone again in Willow's house.

Willow relented after a few more seconds of scowling and dragged Buffy over to the couch.

While she had loved going on holiday, and adored Giles, Buffy regretted that she and Willow hadn't gotten to spend any time alone while they were gone.

Sighing, they both broke away to breath before Buffy lay down, pulling Willow so that she was spooned in the redheads arms.

Setting his cup of tea down, he walked over and opened it, ready to tease Buffy for not taking her key, when he froze.

Joyce stepped back, shocked by his tone. He was always so pleasant to be around.

"I was looking for Buffy. I went by the house, but it was empty, I came here and there was no answer. Four days I've been back. Rupert, where is my daughter? Not to mention, my husband."

She noticed that he didn't seem to happy about inviting her in, but she went anyway.

"That piece of shit you called a husband is dead. He hung himself inside his jail cell after he was arrested for attempting to rape your daughter. Buffy is now under my care, and truthfully Joyce, I don't think you are the best person for her to see. Everything is still fresh in her mind. Including your betrayal."

Joyce sat back in shock. How dare he tell her she couldn't see her own daughter.

"Might I remind you Rupert, that Buffy is only seventeen years old. Under the law, I am still her guardian, and there is no way in hell I will let you keep me from taking her with me."

Giles exploded and stood up, ready to lay into her about how bad a mother she was, when a noise from the door stopped him.

Buffy opened the door to her home and stepped in, not looking up as she took off her coat.

When she saw her mother moving towards her, she cringed. Her mother had never hit her true, but she was supposed to protect her from her father, and she just left her to him.

"Get out." He had seen Buffy's reaction to her mother, and he was not about to force her into a situation she had no wish to be in.

Joyce glared at Giles, even as he moved Buffy with him, away from the door, keeping her from her mothers eyes.

She left the house, slamming the front door, and Giles cursed before turning to catch Buffy as she fell to her knees.

Why now, when she was finally getting her life together, when she was just starting to put everything behind her, did her mother have to show up?

"Buffy, she can and will most likely make things difficult for you, for us, but I honestly cannot see a judge being on her side considering she left you with…him – knowing what he would do."

Giles waited until her door had closed, then turned swiftly and punched the closest wall.

That haunted look in her eyes hadn't gone completely, but it had dulled at little.

She had two options. She could lay down and let her mother try to get her own way, or she could fight back, the way she had never been able to before.

Looking at the clock, seeing that it was after midnight, Buffy gently opened the door, careful to make no noise.

Seeing that all the lights were off, she grabbed her cell and her keys and slipped out the door.

Buffy didn't bother to say goodbye before hanging up as she started the two mile walk to the Sunnydale Motel.

"You lost all privileges with me when you walked out and left me in that house with Him."

"Please Buffy, you always were daddy's little girl." Joyce scowled and kept advancing.

"Just hoping I would leave so you could finally get what you want. I mean, that was the only explanation I could come up with."

"Why he was so obsessed with you. You teased him – drove him mad so he would force me out and you two would be together."

Buffy froze as she felt the wall at her back, and flinched at the smug look in her mothers face.

"You are delusional, you do know this? You knew what he was doing, what he wanted to do, and you left me with him. You left me there with no defence and he tried to rape me…TWICE! He would have succeeded the first time if Giles hadn't of saved me. I hate him for what he did, what he tried to do." Buffy paused and looked her mother dead in the eye. "But I hate you more for allowing it to happen."

Joyce backed up a step at the anger she could plainly see in her daughters eyes.

"I never want to see you again. If you ever loved me, even just a little, then disappear."

Giles wasn't sure what had woken him, but he suspected it was the noise coming from the living room.

Getting out of bed, he threw his robe on over his boxers and crept down the stairs.

When he saw Buffy curled up on the couch crying, he rushed over and fell to his knees.

Giles froze and pulled back, forcing her to look at him when he grabbed her shoulders gently.

"I'm sick of being the victim here Giles. He made me one, but she let him. I told her that, and I told her that I hated her and never wanted to see her again, and that if there was a part of her that had ever loved me, then she would disappear."

Willow frowned when there was no answer from Giles' house. It was only eight in the morning, so both he and Buffy had to be home.

Bending, she lifted the flower pot that Giles hid the spare key under and let herself in.

Heading straight for her girlfriends room, she opened the door to see Buffy curled up on top of her bed, fully clothed.

Frowning, Willow eased into the room and onto the bed, pulling Buffy into her arms.

Deciding to let her sleep for a little longer, Willow played with the blonde strands that had come free from Buffy's pony tail, until the bedroom door burst open, Giles standing there.

Buffy woke with the noise and scrambled from the bed ducking under it and coming up with a baseball bat in her hand.

Noticing her girlfriend on her bed and Giles by the door, she lowered it and frowned.

"I heard someone come in and I thought it was Joyce." Giles said as he got himself under control.

"I called my aunt. She's a DA in New York. I explained what was happening. There is a way around Joyce fighting for Buffy. You need to adopt her legally."

"Considering that her mother walked out on her, leaving her with an abusive father, a judge would sign adoption papers."

"Will what- You." Buffy held her hand out for Willow, who took it an moved back with Giles and Buffy.

"No Joyce, we really aren't. This is what's going to happen. Either you walk out that door and never come near me again, or Giles is going to legally adopt me,. Your choice."

In it Joyce expressed her sorrow at what her daughter had gone to. It seemed as if the elder Summers had found God as was living out in the desert with other followers.

Buffy threw the letter away after she had read it. Joyce was no longer a part of her life, and Buffy had all the friends and family she needed around her.

Willow looked around the room one last time to make sure everything was perfect.

Buffy shouted out her goodbye to Giles as she closed the door and ran down to Willow's car.

The Dingoes were playing in LA, and Buffy, Willow, Xander and Cordy were all on the V.I.P list.

Two and a half hours after picking up Buffy, they arrived at the club the band was playing at.

It took Willow ten minutes just to find a parking space the place was that packed.

Luckily for them, they made it on time. They had just spotted Xander, Cordy and Lori when the band appeared on stage.

Buffy smiled as Cordy moved onto Xander's lap to give her and Willow room to sit, and soon the group was lost in the music.

"Okay guys, this next track is a little different, and it was inspired by two of my best friends, so guys, this ones for you."

Buffy turned to look at Willow and smiled, lifting her hand to lay it on her girlfriends cheek.

Willow grinned and pulled Buffy in close to her, smiled at her lovers gasp when she realised that Willow wasn't wearing a bra.

Buffy pulled back gasping for breath and smiled as Willow downed the rest of her water.

As the song faded out, the band left the stage and the gang got up to go meet them in the V.I.P area.

Willow pulled Buffy aside and pulled her close so she could whisper in her girlfriends ear.

Willow grinned and led Buffy out thinking of how the night was only going to get better.

The entire ride back to Willow's was made in mostly silence, not that it was uncomfortable..

It didn't take them as long to get home as there was less traffic on the roads but it still felt like a life time.

When they did finally pull into Willow's driveway, both breathed a sigh of relief, then laughed at how in sync they were.

Buffy watched as Willow sashayed into the kitchen, before shaking her head and dialling home.

"Hey Giles its me…. Everything is fine Giles, I'm just calling to let you know I'm gonna stay over a Will's tonight, is that okay?…okay, love you, see you tomorrow."

Willow had arrived back by this point and handed Buffy her soda before taking her hand and leading her upstairs.

Buffy rolled over and reached out, expecting to find Willow beside her, but all she got were cold sheets.

Grumbling, she rolled onto her back and was contemplating getting out of bed, when the redhead appeared, loaded down with what looked to be breakfast.

Buffy sat up in bed, keeping the sheet around her naked body, and helped Willow climb onto the bed while not sending their food crashing to the floor.

Once the food was safe, Buffy leaned in to give her lover a proper good morning kiss.

"Mmm, I could get used to this." Willow reached out and ran her fingers along the top of the sheet covering Buffy's chest, causing the blonde to take a deep breath.

Thirty minutes later found them in the exact position they were in he night before.

Buffy bucked up against the fingers buried inside her, causing her own to push further inside Willow.

Willow tried to say it back, but Buffy hit a spot inside that caused her eyes to roll up in the back of her head.

The next thing she knew, she was on her back with Buffy between her legs, cleaning her up.

Willow was going to answer, but Buffy ran her tongue over the redheads clit, causing only groans to escape.

Buffy grinned and let her eyes roam Willow's body when the redhead climbed naked from the bed to answer it.

If someone had told her a year ago that she would be this happy now, she never would have believed them, but look at where she was.

She had an uncle that she loved and loved her in return, she had a home that felt like a home should, she had friends she could count on and a girlfriend who was also her best friend.

Willow turned around and opened her mouth to tell Buffy that her parents were on their way home from the airport, but she was stopped by the look of utter peace that had settled on her lover's face.

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My Salvation

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