Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: If I owned 'em, they'd have to show it on the Ecstasy Network.
Distribution: http://www.papa-bear.com/
http://mysticmuse.net
Feedback: Feed The Bear!
Pairing: Willow/Buffy
Summary: Buffy meets Willow for the very first time.
Buffy was bored, her attention wandered while the history teacher talked. 'This is all so weird,' she thought. 'New house, new school, new people. A fresh start, huh?' She tried hard to convince herself. 'Oh well. At least there are no creepy Watchers and no vampires.'
'Still not sure whether today goes in the good day column, or the bad day column; Meeting that Principal Flutie guy wasn't much fun... but, what with my record, I supposed could have gone worse,' she thought. 'Of course, two minutes after that, I dump my bag all over the floor- which definitely falls into the 'not-so-good category'. So embarrassing. But, it did allow for the cute guy to come to my 'rescue'... what kind of name is Xander, anyway?' she wondered. 'Definitely cute, but kinda goofy.'
Just then the teacher's lecture filtered back into her head, "...If you'll look at the map on page sixty-three you can trace the spread of the disease into Rome, and then north..."
'Page sixty-three,' Buffy thought in a panic. 'That would mean a book, right?' Not having a book, she began to look around for help. The brunette sitting next to her noticed and shared hers.
Buffy whispered, "Thanks!" as she surreptitiously checked the helpful girl out. 'Very nice!' she thought. 'Almost perfect in fact... great body, great hair, great clothes, pretty face... probably completely homophobic, though.'
While the teacher read from the book, Buffy kept casting surreptitious glances up at the brunette. 'I wonder what it would be like to actually date a girl... I mean, at Hemery, there was no way, People would have freaked to see the head cheerleader date another *girl*!.' She imagined the differences, 'Not that boys are bad, I like boys just fine- when they're not being macho jerks, at least not to me- but... Hmmm, like that time with Tammy... so different! Sweeter, and much softer... I was always so afraid of what my friends would say, but I don't have any friends here yet... Maybe I really can have a fresh start here. Dating a girl can't be as weird as being the Slayer...'
The bell rang and Buffy joined all the other students in getting up to leave. As she stood up, the beautiful brunette introduced herself.
"Hi! I'm Cordelia," she said, offering her hand
Buffy accepted the handshake, answering, "I'm Buffy."
Cordelia smiled and said, "If you're looking for a textbook of your very own, there's probably a few in the library."
Buffy said, "Oh, great, thanks." She paused for a moment and then asked, "Uh, where would that be?"
Cordelia said, "I'll show you, come on." As they walked out of the classroom and into the hall, She said, "So you're from Hemery, right? In L.A.?"
Buffy suddenly worried that her reputation might already be known here. Trying not to let the fear show on her face, she mumbled, "Uh, yeah?"
Cordelia joked, "Oh, I would *kill* to live in L.A.! That close to that many shoes?!"
Buffy laughed as they walked down the hall. 'Friendly, funny, cute...' she thought. 'Not that I'm gonna jump right in here, after all she could be straight as and arrow- she could be dating someone already... lots of things. But, it's nice to have some options,' she smiled at the happy thought. Considering her day so far, she mused, 'Cordelia... Xander... Hmm, day's looking up!'
As they got a little further, Cordelia said, "Well, you'll be okay here. If you hang with me and mine, you'll be accepted in no time."
'Ok, obviously one of the 'popular' crowd...' Buffy thought, not really surprised but suddenly just a tiny bit wary. 'No real surprise there.'
Cordelia continued, "Of course, we do have to test your coolness factor. You're from L.A., so you can skip the written, but let's see. Vamp nail polish?"
'Great!' Buffy thought sarcastically. 'A test on my first day!' Out loud she said, "Um, over?"
Cordelia rolled her eyes, saying, "So over! James Spader?"
Buffy thought 'Ooo *so* fine!' She gushed, "He *needs* to call me!"
Cordelia continued, "Frappaccinos?"
Buffy warmed to the test, thinking, 'this is actually kinda funny!' She answered with a smile, "Trendy, but tasty."
Cordelia said, "John Tesh?"
Buffy quickly answered, "The Devil!"
"That was pretty much a gimme, but... you passed!" Cordelia said with a smile.
'Ok, that was a joke right? I mean, no one's that shallow... right?' Buffy thought. When nothing further seemed forthcoming, she put on what she hoped looked like a sincere smile and said, "Oh, goody!" while thinking, 'oh my God!'
They turned toward a drinking fountain where a girl with long auburn hair- wearing a rather unflattering dress- was leaned over taking a drink. The redhead straightened back up but froze when she saw them coming.
Cordelia said, "Willow! Nice dress! Good to know you've seen the softer side of Sears."
'Ouch!' Buffy thought as she stared at the redhead.
Willow looked at Buffy for a moment before dropping her eyes and turning back toward Cordelia. Her tone was clearly uncomfortable as she said, "Uh, oh, well, my mom picked it out."
Buffy was captivated by the girl's innocent beauty. 'Clearly not too happy with the whole 'being around Cordelia' thing... and that dress is pretty unflattering, but...'
Cordelia said, "No wonder you're such a guy magnet. Are you done?"
'And again I say, Ouch!' Buffy thought, wincing internally. 'God, why is she being such a bitch?'
Willow looked at the fountain, then back at Cordelia as if she wasn't sure what she was asking. Then she got it, saying, "Oh!" Without another word, she turned and walked away.
Buffy watched her go for a moment, feeling a pang in her chest at the sad resignation she could see on Willow's face. She then looked back at Cordelia as she started talking again.
Cordelia said, "You wanna fit in here, the first rule is: know your losers. Once you can identify them all by sight..." she glanced after Willow, "...they're a lot easier to avoid."
Buffy let out a nervous laugh and nodded, but she was thinking, 'God, how cruel!' She looked at Willow again, who had gone through the door at the end of the hall.
Willow looked back at them, mostly at Buffy, before continuing away.
Buffy felt bad. 'Jeeze, and I didn't say anything. Some hero I am, I can't even stick up for one innocent girl... one shy, beautiful...'
Looking back to Cordelia, who was still yammering on about something inconsequential, Buffy thought, 'Oh God! Shallow, abusive, popular... That used to be me!' She followed Cordelia down the hall to the library, her stomach rumbling in turmoil. She no longer liked the person she'd been back then very much.
It was lunchtime, and Buffy walked out onto the quad at school. She'd avoided Cordelia, and she was still dealing with the fact that that weird librarian who somehow knew about her and vampires. 'I *so* am not getting involved with the undead in any way- not ever again!' she silently vowed.
She was looking for Willow Rosenberg- the redhead from the fountain incident earlier. She'd asked around in her last couple of classes about who could help her catch up, and Willow's name had been one of those brought up. "Which works out very nicely!' she thought. 'I want to, well... not really apologize, 'cause I didn't actually say anything wrong... but maybe I can convince her that I'm not the cruel bitch-type. I was just an innocent bystander... yeah right!'
'Plus there's just something about her... she makes me feel, well, kinda all warm and tingly...' she thought while rubbing her hand down low on her belly over her skirt. Any thoughts of Xander or Cordelia as potential dating interests had flown out the window the moment that she saw Willow. "I just want to get to know her," she mumbled to herself, trying to justify her desires.
Willow was sitting on a bench taking her lunch out of a paper sack when Buffy saw her.
Buffy approached her, saying, "Uh, Hi! Willow, right?"
Willow looked up and said, "Why? I- I mean, hi! Uh, did you want me to move?"
'Oh my God! She's so adorable!' Buffy thought, instantly smitten with the self-conscious girl. She said, "Why don't we start with, 'Hi, I'm Buffy,' and then let's segue directly into me asking you for a favor."
Willow had a surprised look on her face, but remained silent in the momentary pause.
Buffy continued, "It doesn't involve moving, but it does involve hanging out with me for a while..." she added in her thoughts, 'Oh-please-oh-please!' feeling unaccountably nervous.
Willow's glance darted around for a moment, as if to see if anyone was watching, then she said, "But aren't you hanging out with Cordelia?"
Buffy frowned, once again embarrassed by Cordelia's unprovoked attack on the obviously shy girl. She asked- somewhat jokingly, "I can't do both?
Willow said, "Not legally."
Buffy was momentarily nonplussed at the seriousness of Willow's answer. After a short pause she exhaled loudly and said, "Look, I really wanna get by here- new school... and, Cordelia's been really nice... to me anyway," she qualified. "But, um, I kinda have this burning desire not to flunk all my classes, and I heard a rumor that you were the person to talk to if I wanted to get caught up," she finished with a hopeful look.
Just like that, Willow's face went from worry and confusion to happy and excited. "Oh, I could *totally* help you out! Uh, if you have sixth period free we could meet in the library?"
Buffy's amusement at the transformation in Willow's face was wiped away by the suggestion. 'I have, like, zero desire to ever set foot in there again,' she thought, picturing the library and her encounter with the weird librarian.
She quickly answered, "Or not." Trying to backpedal, she began to babble, "Or we could meet someplace quieter. Louder."
'Way to go Buff! Insane much?!' she berated herself. Shaking her head slightly she tried again, "Uh, that place just kinda gives me the wiggins."
Willow nodded and said, "Oh, it has that effect on most kids. I love it though, it's a great collection, and the new librarian is really cool."
'Danger, Will Robinson!' Buffy shouted in her mind. She asked, "He's new?"
Willow, obviously missing Buffy's wariness, continued to gush, "Yeah, he just started. He was a curator at some British museum, or, or The British Museum, I'm not sure. But he knows everything, and he brought all these historical volumes and biographies and..." suddenly Willow's happy face dropped away and she looked upset as she continued, "...am I the single dullest person alive?"
'Ok, that's just too cute. Pretty much gushing with the shy sweetness and innocent beauty here!' Buffy quickly reassured her, "Not at all."
Suddenly two boys invaded their space. Buffy recognized the one who jumped up onto the wall behind them, insinuating himself between her and Willow. Another, much taller boy moved to stand in front of them and dropped his bag. 'Oh look, it's Xander and friend. Just when I was making progress!' she thought, suddenly annoyed.
The tall boy displayed his keen wit, saying, "Hey!"
Xander interjected, "You guys busy? Are we interrupting?" he looked back and forth between the two girls, then continued, "We're interrupting," as he tossed his bag to the tall boy.
'Yes! You're interrupting!' was Buffy's aggravated response in her mind. Out loud, she just responded, "Hey!"
Willow also gave the horse-trough greeting, "Hey!"
The tall one repeated himself, saying, "Hey there!" as he dropped Xander's bag next to his own.
Buffy looked at Willow and saw her frown for just a moment before putting on a happy face, and then she did the introductions, "Buffy, this is Jesse and that's Xander."
Xander said, "Oh, me and Buffy go waaay back, old friends, very close. Then there's that period of estrangement where I think we were both growing as people, but now here we are, like old times, I'm quite moved."
Everyone looked at Xander like he was an idiot. Jesse said, "Is it me, or are you turning into a bibbling idiot?"
A look of realization came over his face and he sheepishly said, "No, it's, uh, it's not you."
'I wanted to talk to Willow!' Buffy thought with a brief mental pout before she resigned herself to the encounter, saying, "Well, it's nice to meet you guys, I think."
Suddenly Xander jumped down and grabbed his bag, retrieving something from inside.
Jesse said, "Well, you know, we wanted to welcome ya, make ya feel at home, unless you have a scary home..."
Xander added, "And to return this," as he turned around holding a wooden stake.
Buffy's eyes widened and a cold thrill of fear shot through her as she realized she must have dropped it in the hallway earlier.
"The only thing I can think is that you're building a really little fence," Xander joked as he handed it to her.
'Crap!' she thought, scrambling to come up with a plausible explanation as she took it back. "Hah, no, um, a-a-actually it was for self-defense. Everyone has them in L.A. Pepper spray is just so passé."
Xander seemed unconcerned, saying, "So what do you do for fun, what do you like, what do you look for in a man, let's hear it."
Jesse added, "If you have any dark, painful secrets you'd like us to publish?
'And it just gets more uncomfortable...' Buffy said, "Gee, everyone wants to know about me. How keen."
Xander said, "Well, not much goes on in a one Starbucks town like Sunnydale. You're pretty big news."
Buffy shook her head. "I'm not. Really."
At that moment Cordelia walked up and interrupted. "Are these guys bothering you?" she asked haughtily.
'Oh oh, bridges burning here...' Buffy thought as she blurted, "Uh, no!"
Willow sounded uncomfortably nervous as she said, "She's not hanging out with us."
'How cute is that?!' Buffy thought at Willow's somewhat sad attempt at being helpful.
'Oh, he's got it bad!' Buffy thought with amusement as she watched Jesse move next to Cordelia. "Hey! Cordelia!"
Cordelia rolled her eyes and gave Jesse a half-glance, saying, "Oh, please!" She turned her attention back to Buffy, saying "I don't mean to interrupt your downward mobility, but I just wanted to tell you that you won't be meeting Coach Foster- the woman with the chest hair- because gym was canceled due to the *extreme* dead guy in the locker."
Buffy said, "What?"
"What are you talking about?" Willow asked.
Cordelia clarified, "Some guy was stuffed in Aura's locker!"
'Oh no, not again!' Buffy thought as she mumbled, "Dead..."
Cordelia waved her hands dramatically as she expounded, "Totally dead. Way dead."
Xander quipped, "It's not just a little dead, then?"
Cordelia shot him a withering glare and said, "Don't you have an elsewhere to be?"
Jesse, sadly still trying, said, "Y'know, if you need a shoulder to cry on, or just to nibble on..."
Buffy interjected, "How did he die?"
Cordelia seemed surprised by the question. She said, "I don't know..."
Thinking, 'And now; everyone look at the weird chick...' Buffy hesitatingly followed up, "Well, were there any marks?"
Cordelia's expression moved from 'surprised' to 'taken aback'. She rolled her eyes and exclaimed, "Morbid much! I didn't ask!"
'Well that's it, I'm officially gonna be know as the 'weird new girl...' Buffy thought as she nervously looked around at the others. "Um, I gotta book. I'll, I'll see you guys later," she said as she grabbed her stuff and left.
She heard Cordelia's annoyed "What's her deal?" comment as she left the group behind.
Later that evening, Buffy made her way to the 'only cool place in Sunnydale' as it had been described to her.
She walked into the Bronze in the midst of an angry mental rant, 'I don't know how, but somehow I'm all mixed up with the whole vampire thing again! I promised myself that was never gonna happen again! But, oh no, I've gotta check and sure enough, that dead guy was totally sucked dry... Oh, and the 'new librarian'? A Watcher. My Watcher! Instead of being a quiet, little- and most importantly- vampire-free town, Sunnydale turns out to be built on some kind of mystical whosits just chalk full of undead! Oh no, my life doesn't suck!' she thought sarcastically.
'Then Mom's all, "we just moved to a new town, and it's hard, and basically you screwed it up for us in LA; don't screw it up here too!" Hey, thanks, Mom. You really know how to inspire confidence!' she thought.
'And, to top it off, there's Mr. Cryptic in the alley all with the vague warnings about The Harvest; whatever *that* is! And how he's a friend, but not my friend... whatever *that* means!' she thought angrily.
Buffy took a deep breath and tried to calm herself. 'Well, enough with the badness for today. I seriously need a little goodness to balance things out!'
She paid her cover and wandered into the club. 'Cool band,' she mused, bobbing her head to the beat as she walked around for a bit. "Of course I don't see anyone I know... Not that I really know anybody yet anyway.'
A guy waved in her direction and she thought, 'he's kinda cute,' and she started to wave back when she noticed that he was waving to someone behind her. Feeling her face heat up as she blushed, she mumbled, "Well that was nicely humiliating."
'Well I think today is going to end up with a definite check in the 'bad-day' column. I mean... wait a minute...' her thoughts trailed off when she spotted a girl at the bar. A girl with long auburn hair.
'Mmm, things may be looking up!' she thought, suddenly happy. 'Maybe I can turn this whole day around; cause one good thing did happen today...'
She walked up to the corner of the bar, where the redhead in question was sitting, and said, "Hey Willow!"
Willow looked up with a shocked expression on her face. "Oh, hi!"
Buffy walked around her and sat on the stool next to her.
Willow turned to face her, and again said, "Hi!"
Suddenly, self-doubt and fear crept into Buffy's thoughts, 'Uh oh, is she brushing me off?' Her stomach sank and she asked, "Oh, you're here with someone?"
Again Willow looked surprised as she answered, "No, I'm just here." She added disappointedly, "I thought Xander was gonna show up."
And, again with the stomach sinkage. "Oh, are you guys going out?" Buffy asked nonchalantly while thinking, 'Please say no, please say no!'
Willow's shook her head, "No, we're just friends. We used to go out, but we broke up."
'Yes!' Buffy shouted in her mind, and was immediately embarrassed at the relief she felt. She tried not to let the elation show on her face as she asked, "How come?"
"He stole my Barbie," Willow said seriously.
'Ok, Huh?' Buffy thought.
At Buffy's look of confusion Willow explained, "Oh, we were five."
'Oh, that's so cute...' Buffy half smiled and said, "Oh."
"I-I-I don't actually date a whole lot... lately," Willow said.
Buffy was confused. 'Sure, she's not the most confident... and she's probably considered a bit of a nerd... but she's so beautiful! I can't believe... don't at least the other nerds hit on her? They must! I mean, come on! Look at her!' she thought. She asked, "Why not?"
Again, in all seriousness, Willow said, "Well, when I'm with a boy I like, it's hard for me to say anything cool, or, or witty, or at all. I- I can usually make a few vowel sounds, and then I have to go away."
Even though she could feel the pain in those words, Buffy laughed and said, "It can't be *that* bad!"
Willow said, "No, i- it is. I think boys are more interested in a girl who can talk."
'Yeah, right!' Buffy smiled at that thought. "You really *haven't* been dating lately."
"It's probably easy for you," Willow sighed.
'There was a time when that was true. Before I became the 'Chosen One.' More like 'chosen to be a Freak!' she thought not a little bitter still. She echoed Willow's sigh and said, "You think so, huh?"
Willow said, "I-I mean; you're so pretty, and nice, and sweet... and you don't seem too shy."
'She thinks I'm pretty? That's a good sign!' Buffy thought. To Willow she said, "Well, my philosophy..." she paused to ask, "do you wanna hear my philosophy?"
Willow smile eagerly, "Yeah, I do!" she said.
Buffy nodded and said, "Life is short."
"Life is short!" Willow repeated.
Buffy elaborated, "Not original, I'll grant you, but it's true. You know? Why waste time being all shy and worrying about some guy, and if he's gonna laugh at you. Seize the moment, 'cause tomorrow you might be dead."
Willow said, "Oh, that's nice!"
'Of course, here I am; not living up to my own philosophy... see me not telling you how beautiful you are, or saying that I want to get to know you better, or pretty much anything at all,' Buffy thought as she looked around, not wanting to get caught staring into Willow's eyes.
Looking up, Buffy saw the Librarian, Mr. Giles, on the upper level. She thought, 'Great, Watcher-guy is here, looking seriously un-blendy. I really don't want to deal with Slayer stuff right now... but I guess I should at least go see what he wants.' She said, "Um, I'll be back in a minute," as she stood up.
Willow said "Oh, tha-that's okay, you don't have to come back."
Buffy turned her attention back to the shy redhead, thinking 'God, you are just *so* adorable!' She unthinkingly reached out and covered the redhead's hand on the bar with her own for a moment. "I'll be back in a minute," she reiterated.
Willow looked into Buffy's eyes for a couple seconds, seeming a little dazed. "O- ok," she finally whispered.
Buffy suppressed a shiver of excitement at the feel of Willow's hand in her own, and then rushed off.
Buffy was in the ladies room, holding a damp paper towel to her face. Any thought she had of going upstairs to talk to Giles evaporated with that one touch. 'What is it with me? Sure, she's sweet, and beautiful, and shy and innocent and damn sexy... Ok, so maybe that's what it is...' she thought.
'Why so damn strong though? I've never gone, you know, all the way... but I keep thinking how she'd look... all that mass of red hair, all spread out on my pillows while I...'
"Oh God!" Buffy whimpered, as the mental images she was having caused her to begin to feel a damp, heavy, swollen feeling in her panties. "Jeeze, Lust much?" she asked herself in annoyance. 'God, I've had serious make-out sessions that didn't make me this hot and bothered... One touch from Willow's hand,' she mused- amazed and a little frightened by the arousal coursing through her.
'Definitely gonna hafta double-click the mouse tonight; it feels like it's been weeks!'
Buffy closed her eyes and spent a few moments breathing deeply and trying to calm down. "Ok, Buffy." She muttered to herself, "You're going to put yourself together and go talk to her like a normal human being. Not some sex-starved maniac!"
'God I hope I don't look as much the freak as I feel right now!' Buffy suddenly thought. Immediately she opened her eyes to look at her reflection; unfortunately when she did, what she saw was Cordelia Chase and three other girls staring at her in shock. She shook her head and thought, 'This one definitely goes in the 'bad-day' column.'
"Oh My God!" Cordelia said dramatically. "You're GAY?"
Buffy closed her eyes and took another deep breath. 'Ok, how do I deal?' she wondered. 'There's denial, always a favorite... right, 'cause Cordelia'd buy that! Besides, I kinda am, and if I get lucky with Willow, I'm gonna get 'outed' eventually anyway, so...'
"Actually, Cordelia. 'Gay' seems so... limiting. I'm completely bisexual," Buffy said as she turned around. She ignored the pounding of her heart which seemed to have taken up residence in her throat at that moment.
Steeling her resolve before it crumbled, she maintained a calm, relaxed face as she went on, "And, before embarrass yourself by asking; you are *so* completely not my type. I prefer a girl who's soft, and sweet. Not hard and bitchy. If I want a self centered jerk, I'll go back to dating Varsity Football players. Sorry!"
With that she walked out of the ladies room, head held high- hoping for the best, but feeling her gut churning. 'By the time I get to school, everyone's gonna know...' She did, however, smile at the dropped jaws her little tirade had caused.
Slayer enhanced hearing allowed Buffy to catch Cordelia's indignant, "Excuse me, I have to call *everyone* I've *ever* met!" as the door closed behind her.
'The only way to salvage this situation is to make it worth while!' At that moment Buffy Summers set a goal for herself, 'Ok self, the seduction of Willow Rosenberg is *so* on!'
Willow was still sitting in the same place, rubbing her hand and thinking. 'Gosh, she's so nice, and pretty, and... How come I thought that? I mean, she is pretty, really pretty. She is, isn't she? So it's not a bad thing that I thought that... but why do I keep thinking that? She is nice though, I can't believe she actually came up and talked to me!'
Looking down to where she was rubbing her hand, Willow wondered, 'Wow, her hand was so warm... when she touched me it was... I can still feel it! Is that strange? I mean, no one's really touched me like that before... gosh I kinda feel strange, all... warm and...'
Abandoning that train of thought as it became strangely uncomfortable, Willow looked around, hoping to see the object of her thoughts. 'Oh, I hope she comes back. She said she would, and, and why would she say that if she wasn't going to? I told her she didn't have to...' Willow suddenly felt very sad at the thought of Buffy not coming back. 'I shouldn't... I mean she's got to have better things to do than hang out with stupid old me. It's not like she couldn't find someone more interesting than me to hang out with... but she said she would...'
In the middle of these confusing thoughts, she felt a tap on the shoulder. She looked up and saw a nice looking guy, wearing a jacket with the sleeves rolled up.
"Hi there. My name's Thomas." He said, a big smile on his face.
"Hi," Willow replied, her mind suddenly blank.
A small frown suddenly appeared and then disappeared from the guy's face. "Uh, is this seat taken?" he asked, indicating the empty seat next to her.
Willow looked at the empty seat next to her and thought, 'She probably isn't coming back... But, she said she would... I guess it would be rude of me to not believe her...'
"Uh, yes," Willow said.
Thomas looked taken aback, he mumbled, "Oh, ok..." and then walked away.
Willow felt a little sorry for the guy. 'Oh, he looks disappointed. I guess he really wanted that seat...' and went back to her contemplation.
Buffy made her way back to the bar and was strangely relieved to see Willow still sitting there alone. She stopped a moment before Willow saw her, and just stared. 'That sweater doesn't do a thing for her. But the dress is nice; a little conservative, but nice,' she thought. Moving on from her clothes to her hair, Buffy thought, 'Gosh, it's so long... it's really beautiful, actually- even just straight with a part. Nothing else, no curls, no bangs, no hairspray, no gel, no anything... it's so, so lustrous and shiny...'
The sudden urge to run her fingers through that long, gorgeous hair snapped her out of her daze. 'No! Bad Buffy! No hair touching- much too soon for that!'
After chastising herself, Buffy noticed that Willow was contemplating her hand, looking at it while lost in thought. 'What's going on in that head I wonder?'
She realized that Willow was stroking the back of her hand- the one she'd been touching a few minutes ago. 'Oh, she's not... she couldn't be...' Buffy thought, suddenly excited. 'She wouldn't be sitting there, thinking about when I touched her? Not the whole time I was gone, would she?
Buffy felt a warm-fuzzy feeling at the thought that Willow might have been as affected by that single contact as she was herself. "Enough looky, go talky now!" she muttered to herself. "Don't blow this!"
Willow was still contemplating her hand when Buffy sat down next to her. She started to look up as she said, "Oh, that seat's saved..." but she stopped when her eyes met Buffy's.
Buffy raised a single eyebrow. "Saved? For me, I hope?" she said with a goofy smile.
Willow's eyes dropped to Buffy's mouth and she had a slight grin of her own as she stared at it.
After a moment, Buffy thought, 'Why is she still staring at my mouth?' She frowned slightly and suddenly Willow's eyes snapped back up to meet Buffy's. Her face started to turn deep red and she stuttered, "Oh, I... you... er..."
Buffy tried not to laugh as Willow got tongue tied. 'Vowel sounds, I get it!' Buffy thought, understanding what the girl had meant when she had talked about 'making vowel sounds'.
'Oh my God, she's doing what she does when she's attracted to someone! She likes me!' Buffy thought excitedly. 'Plus- the blushing thing? *So* adorable!'
Buffy's smile faltered when she remembered the rest of Willow's explanation of what happened when she was with a guy she liked, 'Oh no, there's the whole 'then I have to leave' part!'
Seeing Willow's increased agitation, Buffy reached out and grabbed the redhead's hand before she could take off. "Please don't," Buffy said. "Don't go, ok?" She felt sick at the thought that Willow would take off. 'And then when she finds out I'm bi, she'll never wanna talk to me again!' she worried.
Willow seemed extremely skittish, but tentatively said, "Uh, ok?" and settled back down into her seat.
Buffy smiled at her, but then suddenly, visions of a certain Watcher, or worse- Cordelia prowling around- filled her head. 'Need to find someplace that's else; quieter and free of watchers and bitches.' She stood up abruptly and began, "Uh, Willow?"
Willow's head was hanging and she mumbled, "Oh, that's ok, don't worry about it," so quietly that Buffy wouldn't have heard it without enhanced hearing.
The apparent non-sequitor threw Buffy for a loop, until she realized Willow was trying to reclaim her hand, 'Oh my God!' she thought as she figured it out. 'She thinks I'm bailing!'
'God, I can't imagine how much your life must suck,' Buffy suddenly thought, feeling overwhelming pity for this obviously damaged girl. At the same time, she became extremely angry, 'That bitch,' she thought, picturing Cordelia Chase, and anyone else who had helped to tear this girl down so badly.
She also felt a momentary pang of shame as the thought, 'She'll be easy to win over,' floated through her mind.
Willow was surprised at the gamut of emotions that ran across Buffy's face. She was also confused as to why Buffy wasn't letting go of her hand. She tried to ignore it, but she felt warmth creeping up inside her at the prolonged contact. 'This is wrong! Buffy's a girl, she's not interested in me that way, and why am I even... I'm not interested in her that way!' she thought, her mind and heart both in turmoil from this experience.
'I mean, she's a girl and I'm a girl and so why did I even think about that? And how could I be interested... I mean I'm not interested... am I? And why is she still holding my hand and just looking at me like that, and why am I suddenly thinking that maybe I wished she was interested in me like that and how sad is my life that I'm thinking these things at all..."
Willow was so lost in her internal babbling that she missed what Buffy said.
"Willow!" Buffy exclaimed, giving her hand a little shake.
"Oh! What?" she asked, confused again still.
Buffy smiled widely and said, "Ok, I asked you if there was somewhere we could go. Somewhere that's else? Where it's not so loud?"
She would have blushed at missing the question, if she wasn't still blushing from Buffy holding her hand. "Oh, I... uh, there's an, uh ice-cream bar that's, uh, not too far..."
Buffy's smile brightened even further, and she said, "I like ice cream."
Willow couldn't help but smile back. 'Wow, that smile!' she thought, then she suddenly realized 'Oh, a- a question, and she probably expects an answer, so I should, uh, answer...' and stuttered, "Uh, me too. I- I like ice cream too."
'Nice, Rosenberg. Good one! That was about the most inane thing I could have said right then!' she thought, embarrassed and angry at herself all over again.
Buffy just continued to smile and said, "Good!" and began walking toward the exit, leading the redhead by the hand.
'Wow,' Willow thought in wonder, feeling strangely fluttery and nervous.
Xander Harris was eagerly strolling toward the Bronze. 'God, I hope that new girl is there!' he thought, images of the petite blonde running through his head. 'Ok, sure... there were a couple less than suave moments today, but she didn't blow me off... And there was the whole thing with weird librarian guy... Vampires? Slayer? What's the up with that...' More images of Buffy, especially as she was bent over picking up her stuff in the hall earlier, ran through his mind. 'So she might be a little... insane,' he thought. 'But, God she is hot!'
When he approached the one and only club in Sunnydale, his heart soared as he saw the object of his latest fantasies come walking out of the Bronze. He stopped walking for just a second to savor the sight. 'Mmm, Buffy. What a total hottie.'
Suddenly he frowned, 'And she's holding some guy's hand. Jeeze, that was quick! I mean... wait a minute...'
Xander's eyebrow's shot up when the identity of the person with Buffy became evident. 'Ok, not a guy, a girl. A Willow. Ok, that's cool, right?' he asked himself rhetorically. 'I mean, girlfriends hold hands and stuff... Friends that are girls I mean, not the other kind; it's not like they're...'
A new fantasy image began showing in his head and Xander hummed in appreciation. 'Mmm, Buffy and Willow. Buffy kissing Willow...'
It took him a moment to snap out of it. As he changed his direction to follow the two girls, he saw another guy step out of the Bronze, look around and see the girls, and start walking after them. 'Hmm, something definitely off there,' Xander thought. He started to walk a little faster.
Buffy was listening to Willow describe all the different subjects and stuff that she was going to help Buffy with in order to get her caught up at school. 'It's amazing, like a completely different personality. You sound totally confident when you're talking about school-work stuff,' she thought with a smile.
'Which, is, like, totally cool, cause I'm not so good with the learning and schooling thing. I could help you with, like, social life stuff, and you can help me with school-life stuff!' Buffy imagined happily. 'Of course, the whole social life thing is gonna be a little tough until everyone gets over 'us being girlfriends' thing.'
Buffy blushed as she realized she was getting ahead of herself. 'Whoa Buffy- it might be good to actually get to the girlfriends thing before you worry about how people were gonna deal with the girlfriends thing...' she chastised herself.
Buffy's thoughts and Willow's explanation of Plank's Constant were suddenly interrupted by an arrogant male voice, "Well, this is perfect. Two little lovebirds. You'll make a nice gift to the Master...
Buffy and Willow turned around, Their hands pulling away from one another for the first time since they left the Bronze- not that Buffy had noticed that fact until they actually let go.
"Thomas! W- what do you want?" Willow's voice sounded nervous.
Buffy took one look at the guy and thought, 'Arrogant, sneering, and who dresses you?' She immediately concluded, 'Vampire!' and began to move towards the undead menace, her stomach sinking at the same time her body began to amp up to face the confrontation.
'Well that's just great! Here we... hold on, Thomas?' Buffy's mind whiplashed back as she realized Willow had called this thing by name. She felt unreasonably jealous suddenly and turned back toward the redhead. She raised one eyebrow archly and said, "Thomas? You know this guy?"
Willow blushed strongly and began to babble, "Know? No, not know. He... while you left," she gestured towards the Bronze. "Before you came back... he said he was Thomas, and I told him no, your seat was taken, 'cause, you know... it was... and... ok, shutting up now." She trailed off, her voice getting smaller even as her body language was screaming embarrassment.
'I'm about to get outed as both the Slayer, and as a bisexual, all in the same night, and all I can think about is how adorable you look right now!' Buffy couldn't help but grin at the babbling redhead.
"You're so cute when you babble..." Buffy said under her breath as she turned back to the vampire.
Xander got close enough to hear what was going on just as Buffy began to verbally lay into the guy that had followed them. 'Aha!' he thought. 'Here's my chance to be Debonair Xander- I'll swoop in and save the day!'
"God, could you get anymore obvious? That outfit isn't just dated, it's carbon-dated!" Buffy said contemptuously.
Thomas appeared to be taken aback by the unexpected sartorial assault.
"Hello?! Miami Vice is calling; Sonny Crocket wants his wardrobe back!" Buffy said, just getting warmed up.
'This is fun! I get to release my inner bitch, but no guilt for hurting an actual person.' Buffy mused before landing another strike. "l mean, come on! You look like DeBarge!"
At that moment, Xander entered the fray, saying, "Hello ladies. This clown bothering you?"
It would have been a great line in other circumstances. His delivery was just right- very smooth, very stylish; just not appropriate in this particular situation. Instead of fulfilling his apparent fantasy by welcoming his help, followed by throwing herself into his arms in appreciation, Buffy yelled at him!
"Xander! Get away from him!" Buffy shouted urgently.
Xander chuckled, apparently oblivious to the danger he was in, and quipped, "Oh, I hope he isn't a vampire! Then you might have to slay him!"
The joke fell flat when Thomas, apparently deciding the jig was up, put on his game face and spun around and growled at Xander.
Xander's face went from smooth amusement to wide-eyed, jaw-dropped shock. He yelled, "Gaahh!" and fell back on his butt, looking up at the demonic visage in terror.
"Seriously, God- could this get any worse?" Buffy growled as she ran up on the vamp and distracted him with a roundhouse kick to the side of the head before he could attack Xander.
Her attempt at distraction turned out to be quite successful, as Thomas was flung across the alley and into a brick wall with a meaty-sounding smack.
Buffy took a moment to help Xander up and said, "Find me something wood! Preferably pointy."
She had to give points for quick recovery, as he said, "Where's your self-defense stake?"
Buffy spared him a glance and said, "Where am I going to hide a stake in this outfit?"
Xander's eyes raked up and down her body, taking in the snug tank-top and short skirt, and his eyes became glazed as he muttered, "Right, wood..."
Buffy heard Willow let out a loud "Eeep!" and spun around to see that Thomas had climbed back to his feet and was menacing the redhead with his frightening features.
Before he could take more than a step towards Willow, Buffy was on the vamp like a frat-boy on a drunk coed. She laid into him with a flurry of kicks and punches, grunting out as she beat on him, "Don't... you... dare... even... *think*... about... touching... her... you..."
Xander's voice interrupted, "Buffy, Here! It's not pointy, but it's all I could find," he shouted.
Buffy caught the thrown board without even looking. "Not a problem," she said. She used both hands to twist the wood along its length, loudly shattering it into splintery shards. Taking the biggest remaining piece, she shoved it neatly through the vamps' unbeating heart."
As the guy exploded into dust, Buffy turned around to see both Willow and Xander's jaws dropped in shock.
Her eyes locked onto Willow's wide stare. 'I have a crappy day, then I'm outed by Cordelia- and now this!' Buffy thought, feeing frustrated and upset and afraid of the consequences of this little scene. She furiously brushed the dust off of her hands and turned back to Xander. "Is there anybody in this town who doesn't know I'm the Slayer?" she demanded. "Was there, uh, a school bulletin or something?"
"Thomas is a vampire?" Willow was in a daze.
Xander said, "Was, Will. I think the operative term is 'was a vampire'... and I can't believe I'm having this conversation." He shook his head. He turned to Buffy and said, "I only know that you think you're the Slayer. I was in the library today when you and the English guy were arguing about it."
Buffy didn't respond to Xander, she noticed that Willow seemed a little dazed still and went over to her, "Willow, are you gonna be ok?" She took hold of Willow's hand when the girl didn't answer. "Willow?"
There was fear in Buffy's voice. She pleaded, 'Oh God, please don't let this ruin everything! It would've been bad enough if she'd found out later, once we got closer maybe... now she's gonna have to try and deal with me being bi, and the Slayer... and- oh yeah, I've got a huge crush on you too, wanna date?'
Willow seemed to snap out of whatever she was focused on; she whispered, "Yeah, I think so."
'Well, she isn't pulling away... maybe...' Buffy thought. She asked, "Willow? I don't know if you still feel up for ice cream? Or did you just want me to walk you home..."
'oh please, oh please say ice cream!'
Willow looked into Buffy's eyes silently for a moment. "Uh, I don't know? Ice cream seems kinda weird after..." she gestured toward where the vamp was now dust on the asphalt.
The blonde's smile dimmed; even though she tried not to be hurt by Willow's words, her stomach tightened, and she thought 'Dammit! Can't I get just one break!?'
Buffy sighed and was about to say, 'ok I'll take you home,' when Willow continued, "But still... ice cream is pretty good under almost any circumstances..." she half-smiled at her 'savior'.
Buffy's smile lit up the alley like a floodlight. "Excellent!" she said, happily. She then remembered Xander was there with them. 'Oh... damn. I guess I can't really be rude, not this early on at least...' "Xander, do you want to go with?"
Xander's face stretched into a knowing smirk. "Nah," he said. "I'm gonna see if I can go find Jesse, maybe watch him get shot down by Cordelia again."
Buffy could feel her face squinching into a sour look at the mention of the über-personable Ms. Chase. She immediately forced a bright smile onto her face, and said "Ok, cool."
'Thank you Xander!' Buffy thought as happier images drove out the lingering bitterness against the bitchy cheerleader. 'It's sweet, beautiful Willow time!' she thought, turning to the redhead in question.
"Uh, Buffy?" Xander asked.
Buffy wrenched her attention away from Willow once again, saying, "Yeah?"
"Um, could I talk to you privately for just a second before you guys go?" Xander asked nervously.
Buffy looked at Willow, and saw an unhappy look on her face. She looked back at Xander, saw the pleading look on his, and decided 'I owe him at least that much, seeing how he's letting me have Willow to myself... and, he is being pretty cool about the whole vampires and slayers, thing... and I do want to be friends with the guy...'
"Ok," she said after a few seconds of convincing herself. She turned to Willow and said, "Be right back."
Xander took her aside just a few meters, and said, "Three things:"
"Ok, shoot," Buffy said.
"First, I've known Willow since before kindergarten... I'm pretty sure she's straight."
Buffy's eyes widened as her stomach sank. She had to look away and dropped her eyes, and muttered, "God, am I that obvious?"
Xander's voice was teasing as he said, "Pretty much, yeah."
Buffy blushed mightily, but thought, 'At least he isn't freaking out...'
Xander laughed and said, "I don't think she's figured it out yet, if it's any consolation."
"It's really not." Buffy muttered, causing Xander to laugh again.
"Look, Maybe tomorrow you can explain more about this vampire thing?" he asked, changing the subject.
"Yeah, ok. Why don't you meet us in the library before school? Giles will probably explain it better than me anyway." Buffy said.
"And Giles is the librarian guy?" Xander asked.
"Yeah, sorta." Buffy muttered, still pissed off about the whole thing. 'Dang Watcher person...'
"Ok." Xander said.
"You said three things," Buffy reminded him, eager to get back to Willow.
"Right, number three; I love Willow. She's my best friend. So... whatever happens, or doesn't..." he said, gesturing towards Willow and back to Buffy. "If you hurt her, I'll kill you."
Buffy suddenly felt a lump in her throat when he said it. "Aww," she said, thinking 'How awesome is it that Willow has a friend like this?' She couldn't help but hug him, briefly.
"That's so sweet, Xander!" she gushed. "I've never been threatened like that before! Don't worry- hurting Willow is not on my list of things to do, in fact- it's now on my list of things never to do in a million years!"
Xander seemed bemused by her reaction. "Well, uh, ok. Just so long as that's clear... I guess," he said. Looking over her shoulder at Willow, he waved and said, "Have fun Will! See you in the morning."
Buffy, who had already made it halfway back to the redhead, spun around when she heard Xander quip, "Don't do anything I wouldn't do!"
"Xander!" she said, outraged.
Xander just laughed and Buffy felt her face flushing even harder.
When she turned back, she saw a very confused redhead looking back and forth between herself and Xander.
"What was that about?" Willow asked when Buffy made it to her side.
Buffy rolled her eyes and said, "I'll tell you later." Her voice betrayed her eagerness as she added, "Right now there's some sweet creamy goodness waiting for us!"
'Yeah, If I'm lucky... Oh, bad Buffy!' she thought with a giggle as she once again claimed the redhead's hand in her own.
Buffy was watching Willow eat ice cream.
The two girls had been talking for almost an hour; their comfortable conversation punctuated with the occasional pause as they took time to work on their enormous desserts. Pauses during which Buffy found herself fascinated with watching Willow eat.
'Sure, that sounds relatively innocent, right? I'm watching her eat ice cream. Of course, it's pretty much the sexiest thing I've ever seen in my life...' Buffy thought as she squirmed in her seat. She'd been squirming more and more with each passing minute.
'God, she's driving me insane! Oh, Buffy you are such a bad girl!' she chastised herself as thoughts of Willow's mouth used on something other than ice cream caused a minor shiver.
'But it's not my fault! I mean... look at that!' she argued with herself as the redhead in question once again slowly scooped up a spoonful of her chocolate chocolate-chunk with strawberries sundae, making sure to get both a chunk of chocolate, and a little of the strawberry preserves in the spoon before bringing it to her mouth and consuming it with a blissful sigh.
'I love how you watch the spoon all the way up to your mouth, how your eyes cross a little at the end... and then your tongue kinda darts out to meet the spoon, like you're worried some of the ice creamy goodness will try to escape...' she mused. She hastily dropped her gaze, blushing as Willow's eyes rose to see Buffy staring at her. 'Oops. Busted!'
'I can't believe it - this is, like, the best date I've ever had! Well except for it not being an actual date...' Buffy thought.
'You're just so... I don't know... comfortable to talk to, I guess. I mean, we've talked about all kinds of stuff; slaying, how I got chosen, what it was like before that... I haven't been able to talk about any of that stuff with anyone,' Buffy mused happily. 'You told me all about you and Xander and stuff, and how Cordelia has been such a bitch to you guys for, like, forever. And, how sweet is it that you refused to believe that I was ever that bad? Believe me, I *so* was just like that!'
'Now if I could just tell you about the other stuff...' Buffy thought, her good mood dimming slightly as she anticipated that conversation.
A question suddenly burst forth from across the table, "Buffy? Why are you still here?"
Buffy's eyes widened, and her smile fell dead away. "I- I thought... aren't you enjoying yourself?" she asked, the surprise and hurt evident in her voice.
Willow blushed fiercely, and reached over to grasp Buffy's hand. Her tone was contrite as she blurted, "Oh my gosh; that came out way different that I meant it. I'm sorry Buffy..."
"I thought we were..." Buffy was still recovering from the emotional equivalent of a slap in the face, and the terrible sinking feeling in her stomach.
Willow began to babble, "Gosh, Buffy... I must have, I mean what I meant was you could be doing anything and I'm just nerd-girl Willow and why are you wasting your time with me? You're like a superhero or something and I didn't want you to feel like you had to, you know, I mean I'm like a nobody and you could be with somebody... or- or *a* somebody I mean..."
'Ok, say hello to my heart as a yo-yo!' Buffy thought as Willow babbled.
"Breathe, Willow," Buffy said, trying to follow her own advice as a hesitant smile grew once again on her face.
'I get it now- you're not unhappy to be with me, you thought I might be unhappy or bored or whatever. How adorable is that?' Blinking at the sudden moisture in her eyes, Buffy thought, 'But that's so sad. Hello? Self-esteem issues much?'
She squeezed Willow's hand reassuringly. "Willow, are you having a good time, spending time with me?"
Willow nodded her head really fast, "Oh yes! I just thought..." her voice was breathless as she answered.
"Willow! Relax," Buffy interrupted before the redhead could begin babbling again. 'Your babbling is adorable, but I'd like to move forward here,' she added silently.
Out loud Buffy said, "I'm having a good time too. With you, I mean."
Willow blinked twice, rapidly, and seemed a little stunned by Buffy's statement. Then the redhead began to smile really big, and her eyes got shiny with unshed tears.
She quickly reviewed what exactly she had said, 'I'm having a good time with you... God! *that* gets the big smile and almost tears?' she thought. 'Oh Willow, you must have been sadly neglected...'
"I- I like you Willow. I like being around you..." Buffy said, mentally bracing herself. 'Ok, I'm just gonna do it. I can do this. If I can slay vampires, I can face... and Willow's still just sitting there, smiling...
"Willow? Say something, please?" Buffy asked, worried when Willow didn't respond after a moment.
"Wow!" Willow breathed. "I mean... I like you too! Friends is good, especially..."
"Willow!" Buffy interrupted. 'Not wanting a 'friends' speech right now Will, I'm making 'more than friends' plans here.'
'Ok it's crunch time...' Buffy steeled herself. Taking Willow's hand in both of hers, she gazed into Willow's hazel-green eyes and said, "Willow, I don't just like you... I *like* like you..."
Willow frowned, and Buffy's heart skipped a beat.
"I... like you too..." Willow said slowly, clearly not understanding Buffy's point.
"Aargh," she sighed heavily in frustration. "This is hard!" she lamented under her breath.
'I could just drop it, for now. Maybe try another day... Yeah, and not be able to sleep tonight, or eat tomorrow or do anything else until I at least tell her. God, why do I feel like this!? I just met you!' Buffy raged as hope and dread warred inside her head and heart. 'Jeeze, I don't know if I'm gonna cry or throw up here. It's like I can feel my heart trying to bust out of my chest!'
"Buffy, are you ok?" Willow asked tentatively.
Seeing the look on Willow's face, Buffy thought 'Good! Now I'm freaking her out. Just perfect. God! Hopefully, you'll at least be willing to be friends.'
'Calm, be calm...' Buffy thought, taking a deep breath. She said, "Willow, do you remember how I told you life is short, and that you should seize the moment?"
Willow nodded, "Sure, I remember."
Buffy smiled at her tone of voice- bouncy and happy. 'I just hoped you stay that way when I finished what I'm gonna tell you.'
"Well, I meant it," Buffy explained. "But, it can be hard to live up to that philosophy. Right now, I'm gonna seize the moment. I'm gonna tell you something... and I- I'm... scared that... you won't like me."
Willow shook her head as if surprised. She exclaimed, "Oh, Don't be! Scared, I mean..."
Buffy couldn't help smiling, even though her gut was tied in knots. 'Ok, I think the butterflies are all grown up; more like condors, or- or maybe pterodactyls...' "You are too adorable!" she said.
Willow blushed furiously; apparently not used to compliments.
"Ok. Here it is." Buffy took another deep breath, closed her eyes and just said it. "Willow, I'm bisexual."
After a couple of heartbeats, and a mantra of, 'Please don't be freaked, please don't be freaked...' Buffy cautiously opened one eye to see Willow's response.
After a moment, Willow's eyes went wide. "Oh. You mean you like boys and girls?" Her voice was quite high-pitched.
Buffy slowly nodded, looking for any signs of rejection.
'Oh God, my head's gonna explode,' Buffy thought when Willow didn't say anything else for several moments.
Finally Willow just said, "Uh, ok?"
The adrenaline pumping in her veins had Buffy feeling light-headed. "Ok, subtle is *so* not working here," she muttered. She let go of the redhead with one hand and began gently stroking the skin on the back of Willow's hand. 'Your hand is so big next to mine, but so soft... so delicate,' she marveled.
Buffy looked back up at Willow's face and thought, 'I don't know why I'm so attracted to you, but I am. I- I'm smitten, that's it! Man-o-man, I am in deep smit.'
Willow looked down at where Buffy was touching her and shivered. She looked back up into Buffy's eyes, clearly not comprehending what was happening here.
"God! You are so beautiful!" Buffy blurted out, unable to keep the thought inside. She smiled once again at the way Willow's skin flushed dark pink from the compliment. "A little dense," she teased, "but amazingly beautiful."
Willow's voice was like a little girl's; high and breathy and echoing the deep confusion that was practically written on her face. "Buffy? I... what do you mean?" she asked.
'Ok...' she thought. 'When a knife won't cut it, I guess you gotta use an axe...' She waited until Willow was once again staring directly into her eyes, then she said, "I like girls, Willow. Specifically, I like *a* girl. I'm attracted to this one girl. She's beautiful, and smart... and I barely even know her... but, every time I look at her, I... I want to kiss her."
"Wow." Willow breathed.
It was clear that Willow still wasn't making the connection. Buffy was going to have to do it for her.
'Oh please, oh please, oh please!' Buffy thought furiously as she choked out, "That girl... Willow... is you."
"Willow! Please! I'm Sorry!" Buffy yelled as she chased the redhead down the block. 'Oh God, Why? Dammit Willow! Why did you run? I coulda took a minor wiggins... I was even ready for a 'Buffy I don't like girls that way' letdown...' the blond lamented as she chased the crying girl into a grade school playground area.
'That's it, I must be some kind of... of... I don't even know! But it can't be good! I have to fight vampires until I die a tragically young death, and I can't even tell a girl I like her without her running screaming! I'm just some kind of freak or something!' Buffy thought, growing even more despondent.
"Willow, please! I'm sorry!" she repeated herself as she caught up to the girl she'd become so attracted to in such a short time. 'I'm not gonna cry, I'm not gonna cry!' she thought miserably as she slowly approached the redhead from behind. She scrubbed the moisture angrily from her eyes and wrapped her arms tightly around herself as she stopped a few feet from the shaking girl.
"Willow, I- I'll leave you alone, I promise, but I can't let you... it's not safe by yourself out here..." she began, refusing to give in to her own emotional pain and run away. 'not until she's safe!' Buffy promised herself. 'Then I can have my breakdown...'
"Please Willow, let me walk you home at least..." Buffy whispered hoarsely.
The shaking body before Buffy suddenly fell to her knees and began to wail, "How could you? I-I thought you l-liked m-me!"
Buffy, already emotionally raw, rocked under the sudden slap of confusion. "How... how could I what? Willow, I *do* like you! I just told you..."
"Stop it!" Willow shouted. She spun around on her knees to face the blond, shouting "Stop saying that! I get it, ok? Make fun of the nerd-girl, ha ha."
Buffy was stunned beyond words. 'Oh my God...' She thought, feeling a ball of ice form in her stomach at the look on Willow's face. 'She looks like she just watched someone kill her pet kitten...'
"Go on. Go tell Cordelia her little plan worked. I'm sure you'll all get a big laugh out of it," Willow said, her voice laden with bitter defeat.
The hatred and self-loathing in Willow's voice slammed the air out of Buffy in a big whoosh- like a vamp had landed a lucky punch. She collapsed to the ground, slamming down painfully on her butt and struggling for a moment just to breathe.
Willow looked down and plaintively cried, "Why? What did I ever do to you to make you be so mean to me?"
'I'm going to hurt her *so* bad!' Buffy thought as the sudden image of Cordelia's smirking face appeared in her mind. "Oh God! that... Bitch!" she whispered. She sat up onto her knees and moved closer until their legs were almost touching and raggedly said, "Willow! I-I swear to you; Cordelia Chase had nothing to do with this!"
Willow looked up through her veil of red hair, meeting Buffy's gaze momentarily.
Buffy went on, "Oh, God Willow, you have to believe me! This isn't a game; I was serious. I *am* serious- I'm attracted to you, Willow... I want you!"
Willow obviously still didn't believe her. She started shaking her head, whispering, "No."
'Oh Willow, I'm so sorry,' Buffy thought, feeling Willow's pain like a shard of ice through her heart. She lost all control and began bawling her eyes out as she pulled the redhead into a hug.
Willow screamed and started beating on the Slayer's back as the heartrending grief came pouring out of her. "No!" she shrieked. "Stop it! You can't want me! You can't!"
Buffy ignored Willow's pounding fists as she rocked the girl in her arms, over and over saying, "I want you Willow! I do! I *so* do want you..."
Willow dropped her arms, her body collapsing against the slayer. Her voice was raw and she was still crying as she whispered, "How could you want me? You're everything! I'm nothing!"
Buffy pulled back enough to look into her eyes, puffy and red from crying. 'Still beautiful...' she thought.
"Don't say that Willow!" she said quietly but sternly. "You... you're not nothing. You're..." Gulping mightily to try and get past the lump in her throat, Buffy continued softly, "Look, I know this sounds crazy... I just met you, but... You're not nothing, you're something to me; something... *someone* special. Someone I want to be close to; someone I want to be... with."
Thinking, 'Oh, God, please... not again, please don't... I couldn't handle another rejection...' Buffy shifted closer to the redhead.
Willow's eyes widened as Buffy's face moved closer to her own.
Carefully watching for any sign of pulling away, Buffy slowly moved in to kiss Willow's tearstained mouth. Not seeing any; she gently pressed her lips against Willow's, and began to softly, slowly move across them- not seeking to deepen the kiss, just to feel. 'Oh Willow... I've been dreaming about doing this all day long!'
Buffy pulled back enough to focus on Willow's face again, looking for some reaction that would tell her what to do next. 'Ok, definitely shocked... but is that 'Yay, she really does want me' shock, or more like 'oh my God I just got kissed by a girl' shock?'
"Uh, Willow?" she finally said. "Look, I... it's ok if you don't want me. I mean, I hope you know that I was completely serious- I want you, really, *really* want you... but you don't have to... I mean I hope we can at least be friends..."
"You kissed me," Willow said, interrupting Buffy's babble.
"I-I... Yeah, I did, didn't I?" Buffy stammered. "Well, you weren't listening to me, and you thought I was just saying I liked you as some kind of cruel joke- which I would never do!- and..."
Willow raised her eyebrow as Buffy trailed off.
"...and I've been wanting to do it since I saw you this morning," Buffy finished sheepishly, dropping her eyes.
"You really want me?" Willow's voice squeaked as she vocalized her question.
Buffy nodded her head, still looking down at the tearstains on her shirt. "I... look, Willow, I don't know you well enough yet to say that this is more than it is... but I feel something- like a connection? Something strong, emotion and desire, and need, and... I'm sure I'm not saying this very well."
'Could I sound more like a dork?' Buffy wondered. 'Come on, Buffy! Don't blow your only shot here... Think!'
"Ok... When I got to school today, I met Xander... and I thought, 'Hey, he's cute. I could date him.' And then in class I met Cordelia, which was before I knew what a complete and utter bitch she was- and I thought, 'Hey, she's pretty, I wouldn't mind dating her.' And then I saw you... and... it was like, Xander who? Cordelia who? I couldn't think about anyone else all day but you..."
Buffy shook her head, returning to Willow's question, "So, yeah I want you. I want you more than..." she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, 'Ok, reign it in, Buffy, don't need to scare her any more, here!'
Buffy opened her eyes and continued, "But, it's ok... if, if you... don't like girls," she tried to keep the pain out of her voice as she added, "or, don't like me... that way... I mean not everyone does... girls liking girls, I mean..." she stopped there, before she became any more incoherent.
"I've never... that was the first... my first k- kiss," Willow stuttered.
Buffy said, "First kiss with another girl..." Seeing Willow shake her head, Buffy's eyes widened and she thought, 'Boys in Sunnydale- total idiots!'
"First kiss... ever?" Buffy whispered.
Willow nodded in affirmation.
"Uh, was it ok?" Buffy asked, and then immediately chastised herself. 'Way to sound cool! Idiot!'
"It was..." Willow trailed off as she apparently gave the question serious consideration.
'And has the jury reached their verdict?' Buffy thought as though hearing the judge on one of those television courtroom dramas. 'I think I know how those defendant guys feel...'
"It was nice... I think?" Willow said, sounding unsure. "Mostly, I think I was kinda too surprised to really..."
Though still nervous, Buffy suddenly became extremely aware of Willow's body against her own, 'Oh God, I can feel willow's boobs smushed against me!' At the moment of that realization she felt her nipples grow uncomfortably hard.
Buffy heard her voice saying, "You know... it's better if you kiss back..."
'That's it, I'm possessed! She's gonna freak for sure!' the Slayer thought in a near-panic.
Rather than seeing fear or revulsion, however; Buffy saw Willow's eyes dilate and her cheeks flush. 'Oh, hands! Hands in new places!; she though as Willow's hands- which had been just hanging at her sides- started to move up Buffy's back. 'Holy cow!' Buffy thought as she shivered with arousal.
Willow's voice was breathy as she asked, "So, that one didn't really even count, cause I didn't kiss back?"
'Oh God!' Buffy thought, barely restraining a whimper. 'Be cool, be cool, don't spaz out... Oh, God, I can feel her... her nipples!' She had to force herself to breathe deeply lest she start panting.
"Well, technically..." Buffy managed to say without completely losing control.
She was surprised when the shy girl took the initiative and moved forward for a kiss. 'Wow, you really never have been kissed before,' she thought as Willow didn't move beyond pressing her lips against Buffy's. 'Oh, too bad, I guess I'll just have to teach you!' She thought happily as she smiled and began showing Willow what to do.
Buffy began to once again move her mouth against the redhead's, lightly tugging at Willow's lips with her own. 'Soft, oh God, so soft...' Buffy thought, buzzing with happiness after the horrible feeling of rejection just a few minutes earlier. 'Thank you, thank you, thank you!' she chanted silently, not sure who she was thanking, just knowing in that moment that she felt grateful and happy.
When breathing finally became too great an issue to ignore, Buffy pulled away slightly and opened her eyes as she caught her breath. 'You are so very too adorable for words!' she thought, taking in the picture of Willow, her eyes still closed, her lips still moving in a simulation of the kiss as she panted open mouthed. 'How do you make me feel like this?' Buffy thought in awe of her deep desire.
After a moment she watched Willow's eyes blink open. 'Oh, so not fair!' Buffy thought with her lip twitching between a smile and a pout. 'You're even cuter cross-eyed! I am in *so* much trouble!'
Buffy felt her face bathed in Willow's warm breath as the girl sighed heavily "Wow!"
Buffy nodded her head slowly, her own voice breathy as she agreed, "Oh, yeah!"
Willow's mouth drew back into a smile for a moment, then pursed in apparent worry, and she said, "Was that... was I...?"
"I think that one definitely counts!" Buffy quickly reassured. She felt her own lips pull back into a grin to match the one that swiftly returned to Willow's face. 'Hey, we're kinda exposed out here...' Buffy realized suddenly.
She pulled away from Willow just enough to pull them to their feet, while maintaining her loose embrace. 'Can't let you go yet...' Buffy thought, somewhat abashed by just how true that was.
Willow, in her adorable way, suddenly said, "Oh! You know what?"
Buffy, amused by the sparkle in Willow's eyes, said, "What?"
In an excited, but completely sincere voice, Willow said, "I think I must be bisexual too!"
Buffy thought, 'Oh God, that's like the sweetest thing...'
Willow might have said more, but Buffy immediately leaned in and kissed her again. This time she sought to deepen the kiss, sucking on Willow's lower lip and licking her teeth as she tried to open the girl's mouth.
'So, good! Oh God, so good!' Buffy thought, feeling utterly happy. 'Oh God yes! Willow!' She thought, whimpering just a little as she felt the redhead's arms tighten around her, and her fingers digging into her back'
'Strawberries and ice cream... mmmm...' Buffy hummed in contentment as her hands twined in Willow's silky hair. 'Oh Willow you taste so good!' she thought as she hungrily explored the girl's mouth; encouraging her to do the same.
Willow suddenly whimpered loudly, causing Buffy to pull away.
"Did I hurt you?" Buffy asked, concerned.
Willow shook her head, breathing heavily as she answered. "Wow! Pretty much the exact opposite, I think!"
'Thank God!' Buffy smiled broadly, once she figured out what Willow was saying. "Come on, we shouldn't stand out here," she said, releasing her embrace and taking Willow's hand.
Willow pouted, "Why? I was liking it right here pretty well!"
Buffy laughed, relief and happiness making her giddy. "Me too, but we don't want any nasty vamps interrupting our fun, do we?"
Willow suddenly seemed to agree that walking away was a very good idea indeed. "No, thank you. Once was enough tonight."
'You have such a beautiful smile...' Buffy thought when she laced their fingers together, bringing out Willow's big grin as they walked down the sidewalk together.
The walk back to Willow's house had been full of happy conversation, and periodic stops for smoochies. God, I must look like an idiot, I'm smiling so much!' Buffy thought. 'I mean, my cheeks are actually tired!'
Suddenly Willow stopped walking, pulling Buffy back toward her by the hand.
'Mmm, more smoochie time!' Buffy thought with a smile, moving to embrace the redhead once again.
"I'm sorry Buffy," Willow said quietly.
'Wha... oh no,' Buffy thought, feeling cold panic pour into her stomach, pushing her heart into her throat. "Willow?" she asked with a voice filled with fear.
"I was such a spaz back there," Willow began, gesturing back to where they had come from.
"Huh?" one syllable was all Buffy was able to get out.
The redhead looked Buffy in her eyes and frowned. "You know, at the ice cream shop..."
"Oh God!" Buffy huffed out, feeling the panic drain out of her, leaving her weak in the knees. She wrapped Willow in a fierce embrace and harshly whispered, "Oh please don't *do* that Willow!"
Now it was Willow's turn to, "Huh?"
Buffy pulled away a little bit, still holding Willow in a loose embrace. "I-I thought you... meant the other stuff," she explained.
"You thought I meant..." Willow trailed off, her voice still sounding confused.
'Ok, now I feel stupid,' Buffy thought, shaking her head at her own anxiousness. "I thought you were... saying you were, like, sorry that we... you know..."
"Kissing?" Willow finished the thought for Buffy with a surprised lilt.
Buffy nodded, not meeting Willow's eyes. "Yeah, I'm kinda dumb sometimes."
When Willow didn't respond, Buffy looked up to see confusion still in the redhead's eyes. 'Such beautiful eyes... how can I be so lost in you so fast?' she wondered once again. "I'm just so happy that you're giving me a chance, Willow." she said, her voice choked with emotion.
"Ouch!" Willow suddenly yelped.
"What happened?" Buffy exclaimed, startled. She pushed away from the redhead to look her up and down for any injury.
"What the...?" Buffy muttered with a confused frown when she saw what had happened. Slowly meeting Willow's gaze once more, she softly said, "Willow? Did you just pinch yourself?"
The light-skinned redhead suddenly flushed bright pink and stuttered, "I-I... I t-thought..."
Feeling emboldened, Buffy cupped Willow's cheek to try and calm her. 'Oh, so warm! Loving the blushing thing...'
Willow closed her eyes and leaned her head into Buffy's touch, closing her eyes and humming in evident pleasure. After a moment she whispered, "I was afraid I was dreaming..."
'How did no one ever notice you Will? You're... perfect' Buffy thought warmly. "Willow, look at me." She instructed gently.
Willow's eyes blinked open, displaying a mix of joy, desire, and a little anxiety.
"This is all new, and kinda strange, and wonderful, and a little terrifying..." Buffy grinned at Willow's nod of agreement. "But, I promise you... it's real." Smiling big, she added, "I never have dreams this good."
Willow laughed out loud at that.
'Oh, I even love your laugh. Deep, deep smit.' Buffy thought with happy resignation.
"So, we should get you home now?" Buffy said, ready to walk.
"Uh, we did," Willow said.
'And again with the huh?' Buffy frowned slightly in confusion.
"Uh, it's right there. My house." Willow said gently.
"Oh. Ok, then." Buffy said. 'I was kinda hoping for more walkie/smoochie time...'
They walked in silence up to the porch, and then hesitated again. 'No lights on...' Buffy noticed. "Uh, are your parents in bed already?" she asked.
"Oh, they're in Belize until the end of the month," Willow said like it was completely normal.
Buffy's eyes widened, "Wow. Belize?"
Willow paused as if in thought for a moment, then said, "Actually... I think last month was Belize, this month it's Belgrade... I don't really keep track. It's written down on the calendar somewhere," she said, gesturing toward the house.
"They're gone a lot?" Buffy asked.
"Mmhm," Willow said.
'So, absentee parents... That can't be good for the whole self-esteem thing...' Buffy thought sadly.
Buffy felt a shaky squeeze on her hand as Willow asked, "Do you, uh, wanna come in?"
'Oh God, Willow. I'm so worked up right now... I just want to kiss you everywhere!' Buffy thought suddenly. Her mind began to spin away from her. 'Mmmm... Bad Buffy! Not supposed to be having naked Willow images! Oh, but they're so... No! Bad Buffy!'
"Oh, uh, about going in... I'm not sure it's a good idea... if I..." Buffy began, her voice hoarse.
Willow's smile deflated into a pout, "Oh, I..."
'Unh uh! No negative thoughts Will!' Buffy thought, quickly moving to counteract Willow's dejection by pressing her up against the door and catching her lips in a ferocious kiss.
Buffy pressed herself against the redhead, going for maximum body contact as she kissed her. 'God, Willow! This is so, so good! Mmm, new favorite flavor... Willowlips.' She thought excitedly.
When Buffy finally broke off the kiss, she rested her forehead against Willow's while they caught their breath. "Never think I don't want you, Willow!" she whispered passionately.
"Wow!" Willow sighed heavily.
"Willow," Buffy began, "I think I shouldn't go in because... I don't think I could..."
Buffy felt her face flushing hotly. 'How do I say this? Sorry Will, can't go in, too horny?! God, I'm pathetic...'
"you could..." Willow said with a frown. Then she apparently figured out what Buffy had meant, because her eyes opened really wide and she blushed brightly too. "Oh! You mean...?"
Buffy closed her eyes and nodded her head. 'So embarrassing! Buffy the horny vampire Slayer.'
"Really?" Willow asked, sounding shocked. "Because of me?!" she squeaked loudly.
Buffy smiled. "You are too adorable, Willow." She cupped her cheek and added, "And, yes. I mean... Really."
"Wow!" Willow exclaimed.
'Tell me about it! Ok, gotta go!' Buffy stepped away and said, "I... Can I come over in the morning and walk you to school?"
Willow got a huge smile on her face, then ducked her head and looked up through her lashes as she quietly answered, "Okay..."
Buffy couldn't help but smile at the coy look on Willow's face. "You are *so* cute! I'll be here early, ok? I told Xander we'd go to the library and let Giles talk about vampires."
Willow nodded, apparently at a loss for words. She unlocked the door to her house and stepped through.
Buffy walked backwards down the walkway, keeping an eye on Willow until she waved and closed the door.
As soon as the she heard Willow lock the door behind her, Buffy pumped her fist in the air, hissing "Yes!" and then danced around in a circle. 'Willow Rosenberg likes me! Yay!!'
She took one last look at the Rosenberg's house and then ran down the street as fast as she could. 'Oh God... time for shower massage... must have soon or I'll explode!'
"Well, I have to say, this is unexpected!" Joyce Summers said as she came downstairs into the kitchen. She made a show of looking at her watch and noted, "It's almost a full hour earlier than Buffy's normal wakeup time, and yet; here she is, showered, dressed and rapidly consuming a bowl of cornflakes!"
Buffy rolled her eyes, thinking 'Jeeze, Drama much?' She finished her mouthful and couldn't help the fact that her mouth stretched into a huge grin as she said, "Morning, mom!"
'And now begins the interrogation,' she thought, but even so, Buffy just couldn't keep the silly grin off of her face.
Buffy felt absolutely giddy this morning, even though she hadn't gotten a lot of sleep. She'd had the most wonderful dreams last night. The vampire nightmare that had been waking her up every night for a week was blissfully absent. All of her dreams had been about a certain redhead. Some had been sexual, but not all. Some had just been sweet and romantic.
Joyce echoed her daughter's smile. "I haven't seen that smile in a while!" she said.
Buffy shrugged her shoulders. "I'm happy today!" Inwardly, she added all the things she couldn't say aloud, 'No scary vampire dreams... many, many happy Willow dreams... how could I not be happy!'
Her mom gave her a look that said she knew there was more to it than that. "And happiness made you wake up over an hour early?" she asked with a smirk.
"I'm walking to school with somebody this morning. We're supposed to get there a little early and meet up with some people in the library," Buffy explained.
Oh?" her mom asked, feigning nonchalance. "And this 'somebody' you're walking to school with... Does he have a name?"
Again Buffy rolled her eyes, 'You're so not fooling anyone, Mom!' she thought. 'time for a little fun...' Buffy grinned even harder and answered cryptically, "No, and yes."
Joyce put her hands on her hips an raised a single eyebrow. "Buffy..." she mock-growled.
'Gotcha!' Buffy laughed and got up to rinse out her bowl. "No, it's not a he, and yes, she has a name." She paused for a moment until she though her mom was just about to growl again and then continued, "Her name is Willow Rosenberg."
"Hmm, I could have sworn that was a 'new boyfriend' smile," her mom said.
Buffy coughed suddenly, blushing furiously. 'Oh, God, you have *no* idea how close you are!' she thought with a sudden thrill of anxiety. Desperate to cover, she stammered, "I uh, I have a 'new boyfriend smile'?"
Her mom took a turn a the victory smile before saying, "Well, I haven't seen it in quite a while, but I distinctly remember such a thing."
'Oh this is *so* not a conversation I'm ready to have right now. Maybe later... like when I'm fifty...' Buffy thought apprehensively.
Joyce walked over to the sink, taking the bowl Buffy had rinsed and putting it in the dishwasher. "Whatever the reason, I'm just glad to have Happy-Buffy for once rather than the Sulky-Buffy," she said.
"Mom!" Buffy exclaimed indignantly.
Her mom just stared at her silently, raising one eyebrow.
Buffy's shoulders slumped, "Ok, so maybe I haven't been all joyful and frolicky lately..."
"You think?" her mom asked with no little sarcasm in her voice
"Well," Buffy dragged out, casting for something to say. "You said it yourself, right? New town, new Buffy," said with her smile back on her face. 'And, new Willow! New to me, anyway," she gleefully thought to herself,
"So you don't need a ride to school then?" her mom asked, apparently satisfied to return to mundane topics for the moment.
"Uh, no thanks Mom." Buffy answered. 'Yeah, not if I want any opportunity for a good morning kiss!' "We're good with the walking thing this morning. Thanks anyway!" she said as she grabbed her bag and headed for the door.
'Mmm... Willowlips!' was the prevailing thought on her mind as she exited the Summers home.
"Did it really happen?" Willow Rosenberg asked her reflection in the mirror. She was standing in the entryway to her home, looking at the full-length mirror that adorned the wall by the front door.
"My first kiss!" Willow squealed excitedly. 'Ok, I so need to stop saying it like that!' she chastised herself, feeling embarrassment dim her excitement slightly. 'Oh God, I'm such a spaz!' she thought as her reflection showed her deep blush.
"It's just, my first kiss!" she huffed. 'I was starting to think it'd never happen! And with a girl...' Willow saw her reflection's smile dim slightly as her mind began to wander down a path she'd been shying from.
"Is that so wrong? Is everyone gonna hate me cause I like a girl?" she whispered.
'Doofus! No one likes you now, what's the difference?' she thought darkly.
"That's not true! Buffy likes me!" Willow said, as though arguing with her reflection. "And Xander and Jesse! They like me too. And, well maybe that's all, but who cares? Not me, that's for sure..."
'Yeah right.'
Suddenly Willow's eyes widened in horror, "Oh God! Xander and Jesse! What're they gonna say?" she cried softly.
'What if they don't want to be my friends any more?' she worried. Willow wrapped her arms around herself, feeling her stomach sink at the thought.
She quietly stared at her image in the mirror until she saw a tear well out of her eye and threaten to come down her cheek. Angrily she clenched her jaw and scrubbed at her eyes, wiping away the potential tears. "No! That's not gonna happen! Xander and Jesse *are* my friends, even if Xander's too dumb to notice that I was in love with him for, like, ever... they're just gonna hafta deal!" She nodded her head, as if it was settled.
"Besides, they're gonna be too busy staring at us kissing to be mad..." She smiled this time as she saw her reflection's face grow red once more. 'Oh boy, can that girl kiss! I mean, maybe I don't have anything to compare to, but... whoo!'
Her face transitioned again, becoming contemplative as she thought, 'This is all so strange; I've got all these... fluttery feelings... for another girl. And I don't think I ever looked at girls like that before! It's just...'
After struggling for a moment to come up with an adjective adequate to describe her feelings, Willow whispered, "So good!" She closed her eyes and hugged herself again, but not in fear this time. 'Oh God, that kiss...' she thought of Buffy's goodnight kiss last night. 'she was all pressed up against me... and... and...'
Willow groaned when she felt her nipples tighten into hard little points, suddenly sensitive against the cotton fabric of her bra. Her nether regions began to feel heavy and moist, 'Oh God, just like last night... I wish I could just... just..."
She growled in frustration, "God! I am so pathetic! I can't even think it, let alone say it!"
'And I certainly can't do it! I'm such a spaz!' she thought, remembering her fumbling attempts at relieving herself the previous night. "I bet Buffy doesn't have any trouble... Oh gosh! I wonder if she... last night..." Willow trailed off with a whimper, now even more aroused and frustrated.
"Argh!" Willow shouted, turning from the mirror and stomping off to the powder room to splash water on her face. 'Calm down Willow! You're gonna freak Buffy out if you don't get a hold of yourself!' she thought as she brought handful after handful of cold water against her hot skin. 'Thinking about Xander never made me feel like this!' she griped, annoyed with her body's reactions.
Finally, when her face was almost numb from the cold, she grabbed a towel and blotted her face. Looking in the mirror over the sink, she grumbled, "I have to be the biggest geek in Sunnydale... so what does a superhero see in someone like me?"
Buffy Summers came to an abrupt stop in front of the Rosenberg house. 'Note to self, don't sprint to girlfriend's house anymore!' she thought as she ran her fingers through her now-windblown hair.
After she rearranged her hair, Buffy was about to move toward the house when a sudden thought stopped her. "Girlfriend. God, I have a girlfriend!" she breathed out in awe, her face stretched into a broad smile.
'Oh, school should be fun...' she thought, her smile dimming. It dropped away entirely as she added, 'Ugh! My mother! So not a conversation I'm looking forward to!'
Buffy stared at Willow's door for a moment, lost in thought. 'This is gonna be really hard, isn't it? Not just for me, either...'
'Oh, Willow... God, the sounds you made, your lips on mine... you body against mine...' Buffy whimpered as the feelings from last night returned to her. "I am not giving this up!" she growled suddenly. She began to walk up to the house, muttering, "Unless you change your mind, I am *not* letting you go, Willow Rosenberg!"
Buffy strode up to the front door and rapped loudly upon it. 'Easy, no breaking down doors today Buffy!' she thought with a wry smile.
Buffy was bouncing on her toes slightly as she heard footsteps approach the door. When it swung open, Buffy froze, staring at the girl before her. Willow's hair was pulled back in a high ponytail, emphasizing her widow's peak, and leaving her delicate ears exposed.
'And since when am I turned on by ears!?' Buffy shivered at the sudden mental image of nibbling on one of those earlobes, hearing the sound of Willow whimpering in pleasure. 'God, it's gonna be a long day,' she thought ruefully.
Willow stared back at Buffy, not speaking for several seconds. Then suddenly she seemed to snap out of it, giving her head a little shake and saying, "Uh, good morning! Hi! Uh, you... wanna come in?" The last was delivered with an audible gulp.
'Want. Want Willow' Buffy thought in a daze as she entered the house.
Willow's voice was a little unsteady as she asked, "Uh are ya hungry?"
'Yes, hungry for Willowsmoochies!' Buffy's eyes were focused on Willow's pink lips as she just nodded her in response to the redhead's question.
Willow closed the door behind her and said, "Uh, I've got raisin bran..." trailing off when Buffy shook her head and stepped closer to her.
Buffy backed the redhead up against the door- from the inside this time- and softly spoke, "I had something else in mind."
Willow got out, "Oh!" before Buffy's cut off any further speech- suckling Willow's lips for a moment before her tongue sought entrance to the redhead's mouth.
Buffy barely noticed Willow's hands twining in her hair, her attention was focused on devouring the girl's mouth. 'Mmm, minty mouthwash... and... and... Oh Willow... you taste so... you make me feel so...'
Buffy broke off the kiss and rested her forehead against Willow's. "Gotta stop!" she whispered between deep breaths.
"Mm, donwanna!" Willow whimpered as she too sought to catch her breath.
'Oh God!' Buffy thought, images of what could happen in the next few moments if she gave in to her body's desire. 'No, no... way too soon, don't... can't... take advantage of you like that... God you make me so... so!' She forced herself to pull back just far enough to focus on Willow's eyes. 'So green... green... means go... No! Bad Buffy!' she chastised herself.
Still breathing hard, Buffy licked her lips and smiled. "Now *that's* 'good morning'!" she exclaimed.
Willow smiled, still breathing deeply herself, nodded her head, and agreed, "Oh yes! Very, very good morning that was."
'Ok Slayer, back away from the redhead!' Buffy giggled at the thought, making it sound in her head like it was a police bullhorn. She dropped her hands from around Willow and stepped back, letting the girl move.
Willow pushed away from the door, then half turned, looked at the door, looked back at Buffy and said, "I'm sensing a pattern..."
Buffy blushed when she realized what Willow was referring too.
Willow giggled, "You like doors... or is it just this door?"
Buffy laughed out loud at that. "I'm not prejudiced, Willow. I'd like you up against walls, counters, doors..."
The blonde suddenly channeled an x-rated Dr. Suess, thinking, 'I would eat you against a door, I would eat you on the floor. I would eat you on your pillow; anywhere you want to, Willow...' She felt her whole body grow flushed and castigated her self, 'Bad, bad Buffy! No more sex thoughts!'
Buffy dropped her eyes in embarrassment, but couldn't help thinking, 'Yeah, right. That's gonna last... oh too late!' as more naughty images played in her head.
"Uh, Buffy? C- can I, uh, ask you something?" Willow's stuttered question broke Buffy's reverie.
'Uh oh...' Buffy looked back up at a nervous Willow's face and said, "Uh, sure," she answered.
When Willow's question wasn't immediately forthcoming, Buffy took the redhead's hand in hers and pulled her over to a couch in what was obviously their living room. 'Nervous, I get that. It's all new, but we'll make it work!' Buffy thought. Sitting down, she pulled the redhead down next to her and said, "Willow, you can ask me anything you want, any time you want."
"What are we?" Willow blurted out, and then she blushed and dropped her eyes. "I mean... I've never... I don't know... We..." Willow's free hand was gesturing wildly as she was apparently having trouble explaining what she was thinking.
Buffy smiled at her, realizing, 'Babbling... going to be a big part of the Willow-experience, I'm thinking. It's ok, It's kinda cute!'
Willow stopped and let out a frustrated sigh. Looking up at Buffy again, her voice was high and soft as she said, "I don't know how this works. Us, I mean. Together."
Buffy dropped her eyes to their joined hands and fretted, 'What exactly are you asking here?' She stroked the back of Willow's hand and hesitantly asked, "You mean, because we're both girls?" .
"Uh, that too, but I mean... I never, um... I've never been an 'Us' before. With anybody," Willow admitted, sounding sheepish.
"Oh!" Buffy got it. "You've, uh... never gone out with a boy either?" she asked. 'God, how did no one ever see what I see in you? You're, like, amazing!'
Willow sounded ashamed when she quietly replied, "Uh, no..."
Buffy cupped Willow's face in her palms and tilted it up till she could meet her eyes. "Willow, you have nothing to be ashamed of!" she leaned forward and softly kissed the shamefaced redhead. "Willow, seriously, I have to tell you; I *so* don't understand how the boys in that school could have missed you! I knew from the second I saw you at that water fountain that I wanted you."
'Oh yes, I love your smile!' Buffy thought happily. 'Mission reassure the girlfriend is a success!' Buffy thought, her mind playfully making it sound like some kind of control-tower chatter. 'Like NASA!' she thought with a smile. 'Roger, Houston, we have smile!'
"Oh, ok... good... Um, so... what happens now?" Willow asked, looking nervous again but still smiling.
'You mean other than the part where I jump you right here and now on the couch?' was Buffy's immediate thought. 'Jeeze, lust much!?'
"Well, um..." Buffy stalled, trying to think beyond her hormones. "Well, some of this is new to me too, Willow. I've always, well, you know, liked other girls... but I've never officially dated a girl before."
"Are we dating?" Willow asked, sounding pleased at the thought.
"Well, we could kinda consider last night at the ice cream shop a first date," Buffy began. "I'd like to think we'll go on some more regular dates." She laughed and added, "We kinda skipped the dating step and went right for emotional trauma, followed by smoochies."
Willow blushed again, obviously embarrassed about the night before.
'Dang it! I hate the taste of shoe leather!' Buffy rebuked herself as she caught the look. "Hey now! It ended good, that's what matters!" she said firmly. As she continued, her voice was less sure, and she could feel her heart beating fast. "Anyway, I was kinda thinking... we could skip the 'just dating' part and move to... girlfriends?" She quickly continued before Willow had a chance to say anything, "I know we both have a bunch of 'getting to know you' stuff to get to, and... and I want to... but if it's ok... I just wanna be able to tell people... that you're my..."
"Girlfriend?" Willow whispered.
Buffy nodded her head slowly, looking for a response. 'Say yes, please Willow, say yes...'
Willow's face lit up, "Wow! Buffy Summers is my girlfriend," she said, as though trying it on for size.
'Thank you God!!' Buffy's smile lit up the room, "Willow Rosenberg is my girlfriend!" she said happily.
Buffy moved in for a celebratory kiss, and was delighted to find Willow meeting her halfway.
'Oh Willow... so good!' Buffy thought happily as she kissed her girlfriend. She savored the redhead's lips, nipping them with her own, tangling her tongue with Willow's, exploring her teeth and gums... 'smells like heaven, tastes like heaven, feels like heaven... wanna stay here forever!'
"Buff-mff... Mgffy... Buffy!" Willow finally got out.
Buffy felt Willow's hands on her face, stilling her movements, and opened her eyes. 'Oh God, you're so beautiful!' Buffy thought, feeling her heart squeeze in her chest at the look of returned desire on Willow's face.
"Buffy, we... we have to go." Willow panted out.
Buffy pouted, "Don't wanna!"
'Hey when did we lay down?' the Slayer wondered when she finally noticed her position. She was laying on top of Willow who was laid out on the couch. "Oh, sorry Will," she mumbled as she sat back up.
Willow looked confused, she asked, "Sorry? Why?"
Buffy gestured to the couch next to them, feeling embarrassed. "I pushed you down..." she mumbled.
Willow smiled and said, "Oh, good."
'Ok, officially confused now...' she thought. "Good?" she asked.
Willow giggled, "Yeah, cause I though I was the one who pulled you down..."
'Wha?' Buffy's eyes widened in surprise, "Willow! Are you teasing me?"
At Willow's bold grin and nod, Buffy huffed, "Why you... you... beautiful, sexy, adorable girl" Buffy felt arousal coursing through her as she thought, 'Want you so much!'
Buffy was pleased to see Willow's eyes dilate in arousal to match her own lust. Just as she was leaning forward, the redhead interrupted.
"Ah, Buffy? If you do that we're gonna be really, really late..." Willow said in a breathy voice.
"Uh huh... not seeing the problem here Will..." Buffy whispered, her eyes focusing on her girlfriend's tantalizingly moist lips.
Willow smiled indulgently, "I know... but, uh, you told Xander we'd meet him at the..." her voice trailed off and her face took on a look of fear.
Buffy stiffened in fear of her own at the look. "What?" she asked, alarmed. 'Please don't be having second thoughts... I'll just die!'
Willow's voice was hesitant as she answered, "Uh, when you said... you want to tell people..."
"That you're my girlfriend?" Buffy asked, her voice squeaking the question. 'You have feelings for him, don't you?' Buffy asked silently, suddenly afraid again.
Willow dropped her eyes, causing Buffy's fear to ratcheted up a notch. 'You do! Oh God!'
"Is this about Xander?"
Willow nodded, still not meeting the blonde's gaze.
Buffy's voice was a pale shade of her normal vivaciousness as she said, "You... you don't want to tell him about us?"
Willow's head snapped up and she looked shocked. "No! Buffy, I can't hide this from him! He's been my best friend, like forever! Xander and Jesse are, like, my only friends... period. We have to tell them, it's just..."
'Whazzahuh?' Buffy's brain suddenly fried, confusion overwhelming the fear. "I... huh?" she sputtered.
"Oh Buffy, what if they hate me?" Willow cried.
'Oh thank God!!' Buffy began panting like she'd just run a marathon. "You're afraid they will be mad because you're with another girl!" she stated for confirmation.
Willow nodded miserably, her lip pouting fiercely.
Buffy felt a cool shiver or relief pour through her. She wrapped the redhead in her arms and cried, "Oh God! You scared me!"
"I scared you?" Willow questioned, clearly bewildered.
Buffy let go and clasped her hands together in front of her. "I... well, I kinda got the impression that you had a crush on Xander and... I thought you might be... having... second thoughts... or something," Buffy said, her eyes down and her hands clenching and unclenching.
It was Willow's turn to be the reassuring one. "Buffy, Xander doesn't want me..." before Buffy could protest, she added, "And, even if he did... it's too late for him." She grabbed Buffy's clenching hands and held them between her own. "I'm with you, Buffy. As long as you want me I'm yours," she added softly.
"I feel so stupid Willow," Buffy said, chagrined.
"You're not stupid!" Willow responded.
'I'm so lost in you Willow Rosenberg!' Buffy thought with a pang in her chest. She looked up into her girlfriend's eyes and whispered, "I don't think you get it Willow, I've known you, like, two days, and... and I already couldn't do without you..."
Buffy dropped her gaze again, thinking, 'Great, emotional wreck much? She's gonna run screaming, and that's if I'm lucky!'
Again Buffy felt her girlfriend's warm hands on her face, gently nudging her upward till she met the redhead's gaze. "I get it. I so get it, Buffy!"
Buffy searched the redhead's eyes for a moment, then closed her own and leaned her forehead against Willow's. "Thank you Willow! Thank you so much. I... I'm sorry for being such a goober..."
"Shh," Willow said, and Buffy once again felt the redhead's lips on her own.
The kiss was soft and sweet, and loving. When it ended, Buffy smiled and said, "You're picking that up really fast, Will!"
Willow giggled, "Well, I'm a quick study..."
'Duh, here I am getting all weepy, and I completely spaced it that Will's worried about Xander!' Buffy suddenly thought with a groan.
"What? It wasn't that bad," Willow said with an exaggerated pout.
"Huh?" Buffy asked, momentarily confused. Then she shook it off, "Oh! No, not that, baby. I was thinking about the Xander thing."
Buffy hurriedly explained before Willow could get upset, "He's not gonna be angry, Willow."
Willow sighed and picked up her book bag. Swinging it over her shoulder, she said, "I'm sure you're right Buffy..." she said, sounding less than convinced.
Scrambling to grab her own bag, the Slayer hastened to reassure the redhead, "No, Will. I mean I know he won't be upset."
Willow stopped and turned to stare disbelievingly at Buffy. "What? How can you be sure?" she asked.
"Remember last night when he wanted to talk to me alone for a minute?" Buffy asked.
Willow nodded, "Between the vampire and the ice cream... and I feel weird just saying that out loud..."
"Yeah, I get that, believe me," Buffy agreed bitterly. "Anyway... Xander figured out I was crushing on you..."
"He did? How?" Willow interjected, taken aback.
'Maybe because I couldn't keep my eyes off you for two seconds?' Buffy wondered silently. "Apparently I was pretty obvious to everyone who wasn't you or me."
"I... I..." Willow stammered.
Buffy put her arm around her girlfriend's back and led her through the front door. "Doesn't matter, we know now," she said happily. "The point is, he was really cool about it..."
"Oh..." Willow said. She locked the door to her house and they began to walk to school.
After they had reached the sidewalk, Willow said, "That's kinda too bad..."
"Huh?" Buffy asked.
"Well, it might have been kinda fun to surprise him..." Willow said with a grin.
"Well, he seemed to think you were pretty straight..." Buffy said. "He might still be surprised... Plus there's Jesse."
"Oh, Xander won't be able to keep from telling Jesse all about it." Willow said, sounding very certain.
"What else did he say?" Willow asked after another moment, sounding curious.
"Well," Buffy began, trying to remember the exact conversation. "Oh! He threatened me," she said.
Willow's eyes widened in shock, "Xander Harris threatened you? Why?" Willow asked. "And why'd you hug him if he threatened you?"
"Well..." Buffy started off. "He told me that he thought you were straight, then he said that he loved you and you were his best friend and whatever happened between you and me, if I hurt you, he'd kill me."
Willow stopped walking and turned to face her girlfriend. "That is so..."
Buffy interjected, "Sweet?"
Willow nodded her head vigorously, "Yeah! Gosh, I didn't know he had it in him!"
Buffy nodded as they started walking again. "Yeah, he seems like a really good friend."
"Yeah, he is!" Willow said.
They walked in silence for a few minutes, hands clasped and smiles on their faces.
"Hey, Buffy?" Willow asked, breaking the silence.
"Yeah Will?" Buffy replied.
"When you were telling me about you and Xander's talk last night..." Willow started.
"Yeah?" Buffy answered, thinking back to that conversation just a few minutes ago.
"Did you call me 'Baby'?"
Giles slowly descended the steps from the stacks into the library proper as he lectured, "This world is older than any of you know. Contrary to popular mythology, it did not begin as a paradise. For untold eons demons walked the Earth. They made it their home, their... their Hell. But in time they lost their purchase on this reality. The way was made for mortal animals, for, for man. All that remains of the old ones are vestiges, certain magicks, certain creatures..."
"And vampires," Buffy added from her seat at the table next to Willow.
They'd arrived at the library and Buffy told Giles everything that happened, vampire-wise anyway. He had expressed surprise at her revelation of the informant- 'tall, dark and annoying' she'd called him. Xander had come in just at the end of it, and in time for Giles little speech.
Xander grabbed a chair and spun it around, sitting down and leaning forward against the back of the chair. "Okay, this is where I have a problem. See, because we're talking about vampires. We're having a *talk* with vampires in it," he said, gesturing forcefully.
Willow asked, "Isn't that what we saw last night?"
'Poor Xander... there really are things that go bump in the night,' Buffy thought sympathetically. She said, "No. No, th-that wasn't a vampire, that was just a guy in dire need of a facial. Or maybe he had rabies. It could have been rabies. A-and when he turned to dust? Just a trick of light."
Xander gave her a dirty look.
"That's exactly what I said the first time I saw a vampire," Buffy explained. "Well, after I was done with the screaming part..."
Xander asked, "So vampires are demons?"
Giles said, "The books tell that the last demon to leave this reality fed off a human... mixed their blood; he was a human form possessed or, or infected, by the demon's soul. He bit another, and another, and so they walk the Earth, feeding... killing some, mixing their blood with others to make more of their kind. Waiting for the animals to die out, and the old ones to return."
"And Buffy's the Slayer," Willow said.
Giles nodded his head.
"And that means... what exactly?" Xander asked.
"As long as there have been vampires, there's been the Slayer," Giles explained. "The chosen one..."
Buffy leaned over to Willow and stage whispered, "He loves this part."
Giles frowned at Buffy and abbreviated his rendition. "Right. She's the Slayer, it's a secret. Don't tell anyone."
"So, What can we do?" Xander asked.
Giles appeared taken aback. "Do?" he asked.
Xander suddenly got upset. "Hey! You can't come in to our town, our school, and tell us the town's full of vampires... and then just say 'ok, have a nice life'!"
Willow squeezed Buffy's hand and added, "Xander's right. We have to help somehow. I can't know that this stuff is going on, that you're risking your life, and just not do anything."
'Your eyes... that is just so adorable!' Buffy thought, seeing the concern in Willow's eyes. Buffy smiled at her girlfriend and turned back to Giles, saying, "Ok."
Giles was, again, taken aback. "Um, yes, well... The Slayer works alone. That is the way it has always been..." he began.
Before Xander or Willow could interject, Buffy interrupted. "Not anymore." Though she was looking at Giles, she squeezed Willow's hand as she said it.
Giles floundered for a moment, and then said, "Um, well, I suppose you could help me with research, on, on this 'Harvest' event."
"What's the matter Xander?" Willow asked as she and her best friend walked down the hall together. "You wanted to get out of the library, but you're awful quiet..." Silently she added, 'and you're never quiet for very long...'
Xander appeared to be lost in thought. He took a moment before responding, shaking his head and saying, "Nothing, just, you know, trying to deal with this whole thing... I mean, Vampires! Like life wasn't hard enough, now we have Vampires!?"
'Uh huh... you're hiding something Xander... of course, so am I- no, not hiding, just, uh waiting. Yes, I'm waiting until the uh, right moment. So maybe I'll just... just... uh... Oh! the list!' Willow's mind wandered.
Looking down at her yellow pad, on which she'd neatly written 'Signs of the Impending Apocalypse: The Harvest' in bold black letters. "So, um, Murder, Death, Disaster..." she began listing signs. "What else?"
"Huh? Oh, right... the list..." Xander said, apparently thinking of something else. "Let's see, there's Paranormal, Unexplained, did you get natural disasters?"
Willow nodded, adding, "Earthquake, Flood..."
Xander interjected, "Rain of Toads..."
Willow wrote it down as she nodded and said, "Right... Toads"
Xander exclaimed, "Rain of Toads! Do you think they'd have anything like that in the paper?"
Willow said, "Well, I'll put it on the computer search. If it's in there, it'll turn up. Anything that'll lead us to vampires."
"And I, in the meantime, will help by standing around like an idiot," Xander lamented, shoving his hands in his pockets and hunching his shoulders.
Willow said, "Not like an idiot, just... standing."
They stopped in front of Willow's next class.
Xander said, "This is just too much. I mean, yesterday my life's like, 'Uh-oh, pop quiz.' Today it's 'Rain of Toads'."
"I know. And everyone else thinks it's just a normal day." Willow commiserated, hugging her books and list to her chest tightly.
Xander nodded his head, "Nobody knows. It's like we've got this big secret..."
Willow said, "We do. That's what a secret is, when you know something other guys don't."
After another moment in which Xander sighed heavily and stared at the floor, Willow sternly said, "Alexander Harris! Tell me what's wrong, please?" she finished with a pout.
Xander grimaced and quietly said, "It's dumb, Will."
"I-if it's bothering you so much, it's not dumb!" she answered earnestly. 'I may have finally stopped crushing on you Xander, but I still love you and I hate to see you depressed!'
"It's just... Jesse. He wasn't at the Bronze last night, and I haven't seen him around the lounge this morning either..."
"Oh, but that's..." Willow started.
"I know, it's not like it's the first time he's ditched or anything but..." Xander trailed off as thought unable or unwilling to continue.
'I think I get it,' Willow realized after a moment. "You're worried cause of the vampire thing, right?" she asked gently.
"It's dumb, I know. It's just... now that I know they're there... it's kinda freaking me out!" Xander lamented, managing to sound both embarrassed and worried at the same time.
Willow hastened to reassure her best friend. "Oh Xander. He probably got turned down by the wicked witch of the west... again..."
"Willow Adena Rosenberg!"
Willow smiled broadly at Xander's wide-eyed exclamation, and continued, "...and went home to pout. You'll either see him after first period, or, or he's just ditching again and you'll see him at the arcade after school."
Xander sighed again, but he had a small grin on his face this time. "You're probably right Will." He transitioned into a sly voice, adding, "So, speaking of hooking up... How was your Ice Cream date last night?"
'Oh so busted!' Willow thought, feeling her face grow hot. Her voice was breathy and high as she said, "Oh, look at the time, I'm gonna be late to class!" just before bolting into the classroom.
Xander laughed and called after her, "You know you're going to tell me all about it, Will. You never could keep a secret from me."
'That's no lie!' she thought ruefully. 'Well, Buffy was right, he doesn't sound upset or anything... Now, if Jesse will just be ok with it...'
'Wow, there's really a lot of wiggy stuff that happened in this town!' Willow thought as she scrolled through old news stories.
She was sitting in the computer lab, doing her assignment. Her Hellmouth assignment, not her class assignment. 'Please, how can this be so difficult for everyone?' she wondered about the class assignment. 'I know I'm a computer nerd and all, but come on! That program's so simple a monkey could do it...' The shy redhead couldn't keep the catty grin off of her face as she thought, 'Explains why Cordelia is having such a hard time!'
'I really shouldn't listen...' she thought. 'I should focus on what I'm doing. I should, but it's too fun to listen to them struggle!' Willow listened in on Cordelia and Harmony as they muddled through their computer assignment.
Cordelia whined, "No! It's supposed to find the syntax and match it. Or wait..."
Harmony asked, "Are we going to the Bronze tonight?"
"No, we're going to the other cool place in Sunnydale," Cordelia said, derision clear in her voice.
After a pause, Cordelia continued, "Of course we're going to the Bronze. Friday night? No cover? But you should have been there last night. 'Cause I ran into Buffy..."
Willow frowned, thinking, 'Buffy didn't mention anything about that...'
Cordelia continued, "...and can she be any weirder? She was in the bathroom, Talking to herself about hitting on some *Girl!* Do you believe it?"
Harmony sighed loudly and griped, "I think we did this part wrong."
Cordelia complained, "Why do we have to devise these programs, isn't that what nerds are for?" She added in a whisper, "What'd she do?"
Willow had to restrain a chuckle as she thought, 'I can still hear you! You wish you could copy off of me, you mindless cow!' Her humor turned to a pout as she added, 'God, I wish I could say stuff like that to your face!'
Harmony's tone clearly displayed her cluelessness as she answered, "Uh, she's doing something else."
Cordelia made a grumbling sound and said, "Okay, and then pattern run, right? Or go to end? That's it!"
Harmony, apparently trying for 'helpfully supportive' said, "Maybe!"
Cordelia continued her story, saying, "So anyway, I walk into the bathroom, and she's all 'ok just go talk to her, she doesn't need to know you're a sex maniac...' I swear!"
Suddenly another voice joined the audioplay and Willow heard a surfer-dude voice question, "Who?"
Cordelia exclaimed, "Buffy!"
"The new girl..." Harmony added in her best 'duh' voice.
Surfer-dude asked, "What's her deal?"
Cordelia said, "Well, she's a crazed lezbo."
'Hey, that's my girlfriend you're talking about!' Willow thought angrily. 'I should say something! Yeah right, cause I'm brave like that...' she added glumly.
"Did you hear about her old school?" Harmony asked with a dramatic pause. "Booted!" she crowed.
Cordelia haughtily stated, "Well, I exhibit *no* surprise."
'You wouldn't talk like that if Buffy was here!' Willow fantasized, 'God I'd love to see her take you down a peg or two. I wonder what that means? How much is a peg?'
Long-hair asked, "Why was she kicked out?"
Cordelia said, "Uh, because she's a psycho loony!"
"No, she's not!" Willow exclaimed suddenly. 'Oh God! Did I say that?'
Cordelia said, "What?"
Willow finished sending what she was working on to the printer as she thought, 'Come on Willow, this is your girlfriend, you can't just not say anything! Feeling incredibly nervous, she turned around and said, "She's not a psycho. You don't even know her."
Cordelia's expression was spiteful, and her voice dripped with scorn as she said, "Excuse me? Who gave you permission to exist?"
Willow dropped her eyes. 'You are so mean! I hate the way you make me feel so bad about myself... Jeeze! Why do I let you get to me?'
Cordelia continued, "Do I horn in on your private discussions? No. Why? Because you're boring."
Still unable to meet Cordelia's eyes, Willow stood up and walked over to the printer. 'And, once again, pathetic little Willow retreats from the big bad Cordy,' Willow thought, humiliated and angry with herself as she gathered her printouts.
Harmony acted like Willow hadn't ever interrupted, saying, "Okay, I think the program's done."
Cordelia melodramatically gushed, "Finally the nightmare ends! Okay, so how do we save it?"
"Deliver." 'Oh God, I did it again!' Willow thought, quickly walking out of the classroom.
"Deliver? Where's that?" Cordelia asked as Willow left the room.
The last thing Willow heard was Cordy's "Oh!" as she apparently found the key; followed by silence.
"Oh gosh! That was so bad of me!" Willow whispered with a giggle as she entered the restroom. 'Oh but it felt so *good*!' she thought.
Willow considered herself in the restroom mirror as she washed her hands. 'I should feel bad about that, it was kinda mean...' she thought. The broad smile on her face lost not a bit of its wide glow however. 'I *so* don't though! I've cried myself to sleep way too many times and this is like the first time I've ever done anything back!'
She suddenly felt a cold tendril of anxiety run down her back as she thought, 'Oh she's gonna be furious!' Willow saw her smile dim at the realization. Then it grew again a little as she added, 'Eventually. If she ever figures out what just happened.'
Despite her humor, Willow's stomach felt unsettled. 'I'll splash a little cold water, that'll help.'
A few moments later she opened her eyes from wiping her face with a paper towel and squeaked out a startled "Eeep!" when she saw the cheerleader walk in.
Cordelia wasted no time and immediately began to lay into the redhead. "Ha ha! Very funny. Look, loser, a social retard such as yourself might have so much free time on their hands that they could spend a Friday night making up a computer project!"
'I'm not going to let her do it again!' Willow initially thought, wanting to stand up to her, or at least to maintain eye contact.
Cordelia continued her tirade, "Those of us who matter, who have, oh, say... *A Life* have better things to do with their time. And where do you get off even speaking to me?"
'Dang it,' Willow thought with bitter shame as her body betrayed her, bowing her head beneath the withering invective the tall brunette was hurling at her.
"...You are a computer geek. You exist to do school work and stuff, not mix with your betters, and certainly not to rudely sabotage my hard work."
'No, please!' Willow thought; feeling humiliated as she felt her eyes well up. 'No, God, please don't let me cry in front of her!
Cordelia kept on, "...Who told you to defend little lesbo Buffy anyway? What's the matter Willow? Got tired of being rejected by every guy in the school, so now you thought you'd try your luck with the girls?"
'God, of all the days to wear my hair up! I can't even hide,' she thought miserably, wrapping her arms around her torso and hugging herself tightly. 'Oh Buffy! I wish you were here right now!'
Buffy was walking down the hall briskly. 'I hope she hasn't left class already! We can walk together... Mmm, more Willow time!' she thought happily as she went.
As she rounded the corner and started down the hall toward the computer lab, Buffy noticed a group of five girls clustered together, blocking the entrance to the girl's restroom.
'Huh, that's interesting,' she thought as she noticed other girls trying to go into the restroom and being turned away by the group. 'Hey, they look... I've seen them before... with Cordy! Last night at the bronze!'
As Buffy approached the group, they all turned their glares on her.
'Oh please! If vamps don't scare me, you sure won't' she thought derisively. 'Now... why would they be guarding Cordy in the bathroom? Unless, she's doing something she's not supposed to...'
Treating them just like vamps, she walked right up to them, smiled brightly, and asked, "Hey Guys, What's going on?"
They all snorted or scoffed at her, apparently deferring to one vapid-looking blond in particular to respond, as she was the only one who spoke. "Well, if it isn't little miss dyke..."
Just then Cordelia's voice carried out of the restroom loudly enough for Buffy to hear. 'She's really letting someone have it...' the Slayer thought, becoming angry at the thought of the mean-spirited cheerleader verbally abusing someone.
"...What's the matter Willow?..." Cordelia's spiteful voice drifted out.
'No way!" Buffy thought. Icy chill flowed through her veins and she looked up at the airhead who had just called her a dyke with the same look she reserved for vampires who really pissed her off.
"Is Willow in there?" Buffy asked in clipped tones, trying not to explode.
Obviously the blond socialite wasn't too bright, because she chose to display an attitude. "None of your business, lesbo. Run along and go find some other girls to stare at, we aren't interested," she finished with a haughty air.
'It's not worth it, it's not worth it,' Buffy repeated to herself, trying not to give in to her desire to lash out. Her voice was a low growl as she spoke, "You can get the hell out of my way, or I can move you!"
Some latent self-preservation instinct must have kicked in, because the airhead suddenly lost her smug attitude and flinched away from Buffy. Her parting shot of, "Jeeze, PMS much?" lacked the confidence she'd been displaying to that point.
Buffy left Cordy's clique behind her without a thought. She rushed into the restroom with every muscle tensed for battle. As she pushed through the second door, the scene was laid out for her. Cordelia, facing away from Buffy, hands on her hips and body leaning forward aggressively; and Willow standing in front of the cheerleader, head down and arms tightly crossed in front of her.
"...going to fix my program for me, and then you're going to do all my work for the rest of..." Cordy's voice was harshly instructing the redhead.
"Hey!" Buffy snapped, not yelling, but projecting her voice loudly enough that both of the other girls jumped in shock.
Cordelia wheeled around to face the Slayer, a cruel, predatory smile gracing her face. "Well if it isn't little miss dyke herself," she decried.
Buffy snapped, "Shut up Cordy!" and walked over to get a better look at her girlfriend.
"Are you ok, Will?" Buffy's voice was soft, belying the angry stiffness of her gait.
Willow barely nodded her head, to Buffy's question- not looking up.
Buffy continued to ignore Cordelia as she walked to her girlfriend. "Willow, look at me," she pleaded. 'Come on baby, let me see you!' Buffy mentally willed the redhead to meet her gaze.
Cordelia apparently put two and two together because she suddenly quipped, "Why Buffy, that's so sweet! Did you make the little nerd-girl your puppy?"
'If you've hurt her...' Buffy thought, furious at Cordelia; more for browbeating Willow than for her taunts now.
When Willow finally looked up, and Buffy saw the hot tears running down her face and the look of shame in her eyes; the burning ball of fury in her chest collapsed in on itself and shrank down to a leaden ball of icy wrath- sunk deep into her stomach. 'You are so dead, bitch' Buffy thought, turning to the source of her anger.
"That is just *soo* cute..." Cordelia said, continuing her attack.
Famous last words.
'I hate her, I hate her!' Willow thought as Cordelia made her puppy comment. 'God, I'm so ashamed... I can't even look at you, Buffy!' Willow was mortified. 'Why do I let her do this to me?'
"Willow, look at me." Buffy's voice rolled out once more.
'I'm sorry Buffy! I'm sorry I'm so weak,' Willow cried silently as she fulfilled her girlfriend's request. 'Oh Buffy!' Willow thought, her tears flowing even faster at the concern and caring she saw in the Slayer's eyes.
The blonde blinked one time and just like that, the soft emotions in Buffy's green eyes were hidden behind a glittering, flat hardness. 'uh oh!' Willow thought, feeling a chill at the violence she saw written on the Slayer's face. 'She's gonna kill her!' Willow suddenly realized, unsure of how she knew that.
Time suddenly seemed to warp oddly. Buffy appeared to be moving in slow motion as she turned to the malevolent brunette, yet Willow never even saw the Slayer's hand move.
*CRACK*
Willow flinched violently at the gunshot-like sound of Buffy's hand against Cordelia's cheek. As she dragged her eyes to the brunette's face, Willow was startled to see the back of her head, and her hair flying out from her scalp. Cordy's head whipped around so hard that she actually stumbled, and would have fallen if it weren't for Buffy's hand grasping the front of her blouse.
Willow's eyes widened at the sight of her petite girlfriend using just her left arm to lift the much larger girl into the air, as though she weighed nothing at all.
'Oh God, Buffy No!' Willow thought, suddenly shaking off her paralysis and rushing toward her girlfriend.
The impact against the wall seemed to bring Cordelia around and her eyes blinked and then widened in fear as she apparently realized her situation.
Buffy's right arm cocked back and her hand clenched into a fist.
Grasping Buffy's free arm in both her hands, Willow pled, "Don't kill her Buffy! Please, she's not worth it!"
Buffy didn't seem at all fatigued by holding Cordy in the air against the wall, or by Willow practically hanging off of her free arm. 'She- she's like a living statue or something!' Willow thought. 'Oh my God, she's so sexy right now! Oh, and I'm so bad for thinking that!'
"Buffy, please?" Willow begged.
The glittering madness in Buffy's eyes softened once again into warm emotion. "She hurt you baby!" Buffy argued softly.
Willow nodded her head, agreeing, "She did. She's a bad person." Looking up at the brunette, finally able to meet her eyes, Willow went on, "She's been constantly mean and hurtful to me my whole life... and she deserves a horrible, painful death..."
Willow looked back at her girlfriend and saw her once again shooting a death-glare at the malicious bully. Letting go of her arm with one hand, Willow cupped the Slayer's cheek and turned her face back to meet her own. "But, if you kill her then they'll take you away from me! I- I can't lose you... Buffy, please... I just found you!" she whispered earnestly, tears again falling from her eyes.
Willow let go and stepped back from Buffy. 'Oh please do the right thing Buffy!' she thought. 'Dammit! Quit thinking how amazing she looks!' she raged at herself. 'this is so not the time to get all... warm and tingly...'
Buffy once more shot a hard-eyed glare at the frightened girl in her grasp before lowering her cocked fist.
Cordelia opened her mouth and inhaled, as if to say something, when Buffy again moved faster than the eye could see.
*CRUNCH*
Willow again flinched hard as the silence was shattered. 'Oh my God!' she had to blink several times. 'But, but... that's impossible!' she thought, needing another few moments to resolve the sight before her.
Cordelia's face was squinched up, as thought anticipating the blow. A moment later she must have realized she hadn't been pummeled, and she opened her eyes hesitantly.
'Oh, wow!' Willow thought as she finally realized her eyes weren't playing tricks on her. "Buffy... your hand..." she whispered in awe at the sight of her girlfriend's hand, buried to the wrist in the wall. 'In the concrete block wall!'
'This isn't funny. I shouldn't be enjoying this! Oh, I am so bad!' the redhead thought as she couldn't help grinning at the abject terror that returned to Cordelia's eyes when she looked to her left and saw what Buffy had done.
"Holy Cow!" Willow heard the shocked gasp from behind her. Whirling around, she saw that Harmony and the rest of Cordy's little clique had come into the restroom in time to witness Buffy's feat.
"You, Cordelia, are a real bitch. I probably can't change that, short of killing you. However; If I *ever* see you treating Willow badly, if I ever even hear about it, if I even think it might be happening... That's gonna be your face." Buffy growled in a low, threatening voice.
Willow turned back to see Cordelia nodding frantically. 'Oh, oh my...' Willow thought as she looked down and saw a rapidly widening yellow stain appear in the crotch of Cordelia's white Capri pants.
"I'd make you apologize, but Willow's right. You aren't worth it." Buffy dropped Cordelia, causing her to stumble and nearly fall. If she hadn't been braced against the wall, she would have.
The slayer turned her back on the brunette bitch and walked over to Willow. The redhead melted at the feel of Buffy wrapping her in her strong arms. "I'm sorry Willow," she cried.
Willow stiffened when Buffy move to kiss her.
"Willow? What's wrong?" the blond asked, sounding confused.
"They're staring at us!" Willow whispered. 'God, Buffy. I want you so much... but she's starting to creep me out!' she thought uneasily.
Buffy didn't loosen her embrace, but she whispered back, "Is she still here?"
Willow nodded, not trusting her voice yet.
"When I turn around, the only people in this room had better be me and Willow!" Buffy said loud enough for Cordelia and her flock to hear. The sound of scrambling feet put a smile on her face.
"Now, where were we?" Buffy asked as Willow pulled her tight.
"I'm so sorry..." Willow started to say.
"Don't you dare apologize for this Willow!" Buffy said, not angry- but definitely sternly.
Ashamed, Willow dropped her eyes and whispered, "I'm so weak, Buffy. I know I shouldn't let her get to me, but I do; every single time!"
Buffy dropped her arms from around Willow and cupped the redhead's face, gently lifting it to meet the Slayer's eyes. "Willow, that... that is not your fault!"
The deep affection in the Slayer's eyes caused a burning sensation in Willow's chest as her heart swelled with emotion.
"...she's a mean, spiteful bitch," Buffy continued. "And you... Baby, you don't have a mean bone in your body."
'Oh... I think I love you Buffy!' Willow thought, afraid to say it out loud. Instead, she just kissed her girlfriend with all the passion she was feeling.
When Buffy broke the kiss a minute later, Willow licked her lips and quietly said, "I think I like being your Baby..."
A smile slowly grew on Buffy's face until it lit up her features. She rapidly blinked her shiny eyes and then said, "You are just *so* adorable!"
Willow grinned widely and ducked her head in embarrassment from the compliment. 'Oh, Buffy... this is so nice.' As she enjoyed both the emotional and physical support from her girlfriend, she wondered, 'Is it wrong to think about having sex in the girl's restroom?'
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