Only When I Sleep

by Angel Jade

Copyright © 2003

angel-jade@buffyrocks.co.uk

Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I do not claim to own the characters in the fic, nor do I make money from borrowing them. They belong to Joss Whedon and co.
Distribution: The Mystic Muse    http://mysticmuse.net
If you've had my permission before, you have it now. Anyone else, ask first please.
Feedback: Yes, please.
Spoilers: Post-Chosen.
Pairing: Willow/Tara/Kennedy

I've never understood the whole magic thing. I gave up after the first time I watched Willow casting a spell. She's pretty powerful, I get that. But how it works and why anybody would want to set things on fire just by thinking about it, is beyond me.

I lie awake sometimes and watch her sleep, she looks haunted by things. Things I can't kill. And it makes me sad to think about that. I hate that she hurts so much. Hate that I'm not the one she dreams about too, but that's one of those selfish thoughts you never tell anyone. It's okay for her to dream about Tara, because I know she loves me.

"Kennedy…"

I smile as she whispers my name in her sleep, whimpering like a lost child. She's so damn beautiful. "I'm here Willow." I whisper back, brushing my hand across her cheek. She settles down again and I soon find myself doing the same. It's tiring being a slayer, and I really don't get much sleep anymore. I feel myself drift, before I'm drawn into sleep, faster and more vivid than I've experienced before.

I get a bad feeling almost immediately. The fact I'm conscious enough to have feelings is a bad sign. And for a moment I wonder if I'm even lying on the bed anymore, because I can't wake up and yet, I don't feel like I'm sleeping.

Like I said, a bad feeling.

And then it fades, because I see Willow ahead of me, her eyes brighter than I've ever seen them. She smiles at me; so happy to see me it makes my heart beat that much faster.

Until I realize she isn't looking at me. I turn around and my heart sinks. A girl looking very much like Tara is standing a few feet away, her eyes locked on Willow's, smiling back with bashful adoration. I feel like I don't belong here…and I really don't wanna be here.

"She's here, Kennedy." Willow tells me, softly. "She came to me."

I nod hesitantly. "This is a dream, Willow. You get that, right?"

She breaks her gaze from Tara and smiles. "I want you to meet her."

Tara's no longer behind me, but behind Willow. I watch her cautiously. Despite the fact she's dead, she's not supposed to move around like that. I can't drop my guard, even if it is Willow's ex.

"Tara? This is Kennedy." Willow says, carefully.

Tara holds out her pale hand, gracefully, the face of an angel smiling back at me.

I don't even think about it, I just reach out too, because she's shining so brightly, I can't stop myself. I'm drawn closer, until our faces are almost touching. I resist the urge to kiss her, sure that Willow is angry about all this. But she just joins us, her hand slowly intertwining with mine, and then Tara's. Linking us together.

"Willow, we need to wake up," I urge her, afraid of this sudden energy inside me, burning deep with a desire I've never felt before, "this is your dream."

Tara's hand lifts slowly and her finger gently presses against my lip. I'm transfixed to her blue eyes, shining intensely at me. I forget all my protests and soon all I want to do is kiss her.

I look over at Willow, who's watching the both of us with love in her eyes. I let myself lean over, pressing my lips against Tara's, surprised as she responds with a delicate kiss that seems to go on forever. I feel my body going weak, and I pull back, my eyes opening slowly. "I…"

"It's okay, Kennedy." Willow whispers. "It's just a dream."

I look uncertainly at Willow. "I feel so high, Willow…my whole body's singing…"

Willow smiles and moves to kiss me, her hand sliding under my top to caress my left breast. I feel Tara behind me, carefully removing my top. I feel so strange, like being horny but better…I know what I want and nothing on Earth is going to wake me now. They move down my body, removing clothes with deliberation and affection, kissing and touching my skin, making every nerve in my body tingle with excitement, until I'm completely exposed. Willow starts to undo her pajama top, so I move to help her, slowly undoing the buttons to reveal her breasts. I slide her pajama pants down her legs, brushing against the pale skin of her legs, until I'm kneeling before her. Her hand gently brushes though my hair, sending a shiver down my spine.

Tara's suddenly behind Willow, kissing her neck and her hands moving round to tease each breast in turn. I press in closer, sandwiching Willow between us, kissing her passionately as my fingers slide down below, easing into her and moving across her clit nice and slowly.

Her whole body moves with us, as she begins to breathe hard, her eyes closed as the pleasure tremors through her body. And what a body it is. I'm so aroused seeing her like this; so infatuated and pleased by the only two girls she's ever loved. I begin a trail of kisses down her stomach, before she spreads her legs for me, and my tongue reaches out to taste her. I cast a glace upwards, and see her kissing Tara, almost having to stop as I cause her body to shake with excitement. I press my tongue in further, moving in and out of her until she screams with pleasure and I feel her coming.

Rising to my feet, I look at them, their bodies locked together, still moving together as one as Willow recovers. Tara smiles playfully and leaves Willow's side to draw me to a bed that hadn't been there moments before. A large old fashioned style of bed, like the one my mom had…white sheets so bright I'm almost afraid to disturb them. But as I lie down, I see Tara beside me, her hand reaching out to cup my jaw, bringing herself in for a kiss.

As we kiss, Willow's hands slide up my thighs, parting them gently. I feel her fingers playing at my pussy, almost daring me to beg her for more. And I do. I break the kiss and then the silence. "Please Willow, don't tease me…I need this. Need you inside me…"

Tara smiles at Willow, before looking down at me, meaningfully. She doesn't say a word, and I nod. I just know. It's like she's in my head and in me…I can feel her. She moves over me, resting her own pussy over my mouth, and for a few seconds I almost forget what to do, I'm just so caught up in everything.

But as Willow's fingers delve inside me, my tongue reaches out and I begin to pleasure her, taking pride in the soft noises she makes. The pressure begins to build up inside of me as Willow skillfully works every trick she knows to bring me to a powerful orgasm, causing my whole body to tense with an extreme rush of pleasure.

Tara also tenses above me, a small cry of delight sounding from her pale lips, before she moves away slowly. I look up and see Willow resting her head against Tara's chest; held in an embrace that we all know will be the last. I bring my legs up to my chest and watch them with a small lump in my throat. It seems weird seeing this, but I'm not jealous. I'm not anything, really. I just feel like I get it all now. And Willow sees that too.

We lock eye contact and smile.

And that's the last thing I see before a white light begins to burn my eyes. I close them, then open them, disheartened to see our room staring back at me. I look down at Willow sleeping…and I see her smiling. The haunted look has been replaced with this contentment. And I don't think she's ever looked more beautiful.

Her eyes flicker and look up at me. "You awake already?"

I smile down at her. "Yeah, I had a nice dream."

"Me too." She smiles, snuggling up to me. "I love you, you know?"

I hug her tighter. "Love you too."

The End

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