Something Borrowed by 3xy

Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer belongs to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and Twentieth Century Fox. Only the story and original characters belong to me..
Distribution: The Mystic Muse: http://mysticmuse.net
If you are interested in posting my story on your site, please contact me first for permission.
Feedback: Yes, please.
Spoilers: None..
Pairing: Buffy/Spike

Summary: After "Something Blue", Buffy finds herself wanting Spike when he obviously HATES her. And then the consequences come…

"Let the healing power begin. Let my will be safe again. As these words of peace are spoken, let this harmful spell be broken." With Willow's chanting, the spell was undone.

Horror, more than disgust, flashed across Spike's face when he and Buffy pulled away from their passionate kiss. "Oh! Bloody hell!"

Buffy almost whimpered at the loss of Spike's lips on hers but quickly remembered that Spike was their mortal enemy – an evil, disgusting, soulless, mortal enemy. She groaned convincingly, desperately drawing on her face the same disgust and horror-filled expression Spike wore.

She reluctantly got off Spike's firm body and watched him. She cringed unknowingly at Spike's disgusted face, spitting and wiping off her taste vehemently and almost retching. A sharp pang ran through her heart but she mimicked his movements anyway and started wiping off Spike's sweetness. "Spike lips! Lips of Spike!"

Grunts and gags came out of Spike's sweet lips and she almost wanted to cry. Did he loathe her that much?

She stared after the group that walked out of the crypt, her gaze shifting to the black-leather-coat-and-blond-haired figure. A finger lingered on her lip as she tried to calm down the nerves that wanted to kiss Spike's lips again. "Shit." She mumbled under her breath when she had realized that she wanted Spike badly.

'In every generation there is a chosen one. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer.'

Slayer equals Buffy. Vampire equals Spike. And since Spike is a vampire, it was almost a rule that she had to kill him. In fact, she should have dusted him by now. Instead, she was in her bed, imagining his lips as she had memorized it earlier that day from all of the passionate kisses they've shared because of Willow's thy-will-be-done spell.

To fully take in the vision of Spike, she closed her eyes. She remembered the way his tongue grazed over her lips, the way he sucked and nibbled at them, the way he held her to him close enough to feel his desire for her. Soon after, she slumbered off, along with the thoughts of Spike.

She woke up abruptly, having just dreamed about having sex – no, making love – with Spike. "Oh God", she mouthed and then wrinkled her nose, disgusted with herself. It was bad enough that she wanted a vampire. But why, of all the evil blood-sucking fiends in Sunnydale, did she have to want Spike? Willow was to blame for all of this. If it wasn't for her, she wouldn't have felt Spike's kiss that left her unquenchable. Yes, this was definitely Willow's fault.

After Professor Walsh's class, Buffy decided to just pass by Giles' apartment where Spike just happened to be. She walked in, not even knocking.

She dismissed him when she saw Spike in the kitchen, getting some food. "Hey, Spike." He turned around with a confused and surprised look on his face, his brow arched, and then turned back to whatever he was doing, completely ignoring her.

"We're out of Weetabix." He said to Giles as he went into the living room, carrying a pack of crackers and a jar of peanut butter. "Get some more." He plopped down on the sofa and started to eat.

Doubt wiped across Giles' face but he just shrugged it off. "Since you're here, I need you to stay here tonight and guard Spike. I'm meeting someone and-"

But Buffy only smiled widely and Giles furrowed his brows again. "Ok." She sashayed over to the chair across the couch so that she could see him.

"Behave, you two." Giles said before heading out. Spike rolled his eyes and glanced over to Buffy who was staring at him wide-eyed and smiling.

"What are you looking at?" He arched his scarred brow and she bit her lip at how sexy he looked. And then she remembered how he asked her that yesterday, his tone and meaning totally different from how he asked her that now. She shook and then ducked her head when she felt her cheeks flush. Spike shook his head and turned his attention back to what he was eating.

An exasperated sigh came out of Spike as he rolled his eyes again before glaring at her. "You don't talk to me. I don't talk to you, yeah?"

Buffy pouted and shifted her glance at the coffee table before her. This new feeling she had for Spike was scaring and confusing her. She could only imagine how Spike would react when he finds out. Though, it was pretty unlikely that he'll ever find out. All she has to do is not do anything about it. To not let her desire for him take her over.

She lifted her eyes to him again, skimming his lean body, and then thought that not wanting Spike would be harder than she thought. Her gaze landed on Spike's face and then she saw he was looking at her. "What?" It took a second or two for her to realize how aroused she became just by looking at him and Spike, with his enhanced smelling, could tell. She clamped her legs together, hopefully to not give him the satisfaction of knowing she wanted him. But it was too late; he sneered at her knowingly. She evaded his eyes again, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. When she no longer felt Spike's eyes on her, she looked at him again and watched him eat. God, even the way he eats is sexy, she thought.

She snapped out of her gaze when she heard Spike chuckle. "Like what you see, pet?"

She scoffed for effect. "Ego much?" She folded her arms across her chest, ashamed that she was caught. "I wasn't staring. I was guarding. That's why I'm here. Guarding."

Spike eyed her for a moment and then got up. "I'm taking a bloody shower." He headed towards the bathroom with Buffy following him with her eyes.

And that just made Buffy shiver. She imagined how Spike would look in the shower, all wet and naked and…wet.

She slowly got up and followed him. Slowly, she turned the door knob and pushed the door. Her mouth hung open when she saw Spike's shadowed figure through the shower curtain. She immediately got rid of her clothes and hopped into the tub. Spike hurriedly turned around and screamed. "What the- what the-!!" He pulled on the shower curtain and covered himself with it. "What the bleeding hell are you doing?!" Buffy took a step closer and Spike took a step backward, his leg hitting the edge of the tub, making him fall backwards onto the floor. He scrambled for his clothes and covered himself. "Have you gone completely bonkers?!"

"Ugh!" Buffy realized what she had done and quickly got out of the bathroom, taking her clothes with her.

Spike sat still on the floor, his face filled with horror. Back out in the living room, Buffy got dressed as she cursed herself endlessly for what she did. What the hell was she thinking? This must be a spell. This must be a spell. She repeated those words over and over in hopes that it would be true.

Spike walked out of the bathroom, his expression still read of horror. However she tried to deny it, the look on his face hurt her, once again. "Sorry." She mumbled and stared at her hands which were placed firmly on her lap as she expected him to tease her endlessly and say something rude and hurtful now.

Instead, he sat beside her on the couch and mumbled back. "It's alright. Must be a spell." She looked at him wistfully, surprised at how he had reacted. "Just don't bloody do anything like that ever again or I'll suck you dry." And then she just rolled her eyes.

Oh, but it definitely was not a spell. She knew it in her gut. It sickened her that she could not take her mind off Spike even if she had not seen in him days after she decided it was best to stay clear of Giles' apartment. She would particularly think of him at night, when she lay on her bed and then she would feel guilty and ashamed because Willow would be just a few feet from her while she drooled over thoughts of him.

So she decided to patrol again that night to clear her head and hopefully dust some vamps. But subconsciously…maybe…she wanted to see Spike and wished so bad he was there.

Just a few meters away, she saw a familiar vamp, measuring the back of a crypt. She hesitated at first but finally decided to approach him. She walked slowly to him, jumping back when Spike turned to her in his vampire visage. "Oh." He turned back to his human face when he saw who it was. "It's you."

"Hi." was all that she got out. She rolled her eyes at how pathetic she must have seemed then. He shrugged and started measuring the crypt again. "Watcha doin'?" She asked, but he just ignored her. He started to walk around to the side of the crypt and she followed him. "You're looking for a place to stay?" She asked again but he still didn't answer her.

But she did not. She did not want to. She wanted to see him. She wanted to be with him. She wanted to kiss him again. She wanted him. She so did. "You could stay at my house this weekend with me, if you want. Mom won't mind." It was the craziest thing to suggest, she knew it. But she really, REALLY, wanted to be with him. He turned to her and glared. "O-or not." She ducked her head and fiddled with the stake she was holding.

"There's something really wrong with you." He mumbled as he walked away from her to the other side of the crypt. She closed her eyes and braced herself for what she was about to do. She walked closer to him and spun him around so that he was facing her. "Wha-get off me!" He almost shrieked in a girly-like manner.

She gave him a smirk. "That's exactly what I'm doing: getting off you." Her hands wandered on his chest and landed on his waistband. "I know you want me."

"Really don't." He grumbled. And it seemed like he really did not. But she had to do something, anything, to have him want her too.

She grinned slyly. "He says otherwise." She slowly traced her finger over his zipper and felt what was underneath it harden.

Whether it was from anger or arousal, he tightened his jaw. "This is gonna sting." He shoved her away and then held his head in pain. He gritted his teeth, recovering from the sharp pang the chip sent to his brain. "The moment," he started, walking towards her until he was face to face with her. "The moment I get this soddin' chip out, I'll kill you." He was definitely furious at the thought that she was toying with him. But Buffy did not hear a word he said. All she did was stare at his lips and his jaw as they moved and thought that even that was sexy. She bit her lip and he noticed this. He slowly stepped back, confusion and revulsion, yet again, evident on his expression. "Stay the hell away from me, slayer, you and the lot, before I kill all of you." And then he disappeared into the darkness.

Even though he had just basically threatened her and her friends' life, she was too bothered about the loss of Spike's touch too even mind.

He growled as he stopped and turned to her. "Didn't you hear what I just said?! Stay. The. Bleeding. Hell. Away. From. Me. You. Stupid. Bint!" He turned to walk again but then whirled around to face at her again when he felt her walk after him. "And stop following me!"

His anger, surprisingly (or not), aroused her even more. He twisted his face up in disgust when he smelled it. She took a step towards him and spoke, "I want you, Spike." Spike just eyed her intently, afraid that if he blinked even just for a second, she would have jumped on him.

She watched him go and mumbled to herself, still trailing after him. "Don't I know it."

He finally stopped again, tilting his head back in aggravation. "I'm not gonna get rid of you, am I?"

"Right, then." He handed her the measuring tape. "Measure the crypts and find the largest one." In the back of his mind, he knew she would never be bossed around, especially by him, that was why he was smirking. He figured she would be running away in a second. So that was his first plan to get rid of her: treat her like dirt.

Buffy almost skipped to a crypt nearby. He watched in awe and confusion again as the slayer, a demon-killing girl with innate super-human strength who could have snapped him like a twig if she wanted to, hopped around to find him, a vampire, a home.

"Bloody bizarro land's, what it is." He muttered as he sat down and rested his back on a tombstone. After a few minutes of the slayer running around and measuring crypts and of the vampire sitting around and smoking, Buffy finally finished going through every crypt in the cemetery.

"So which one do I stay at, pet?" He said uninterestedly. She held out a hand to him to pull him up and he hesitantly took it. They stood for an awkward moment just holding hands before Spike yelled again. "Let go of my hand!"

Spike walked into the crypt and looked around, surveying the space which would be his new home. "Good. Nice." He looked at Buffy who was still watching him from the entrance of the crypt. "You can go now." He shooed her away with his hand. But Buffy just stood there and stared at him so he repeated, "I said, you. Can. Go. NOW." Spike was getting pissed off. He wanted to be as far away from her as possible mainly because she was scaring him. "Are you deaf?!" He marched up to her, grabbed her by her arm violently and pushed her out of the crypt. But he was not going to get rid of her that easily. She held on to his hand and used it to pull herself to him and place a kiss on his lips. "Oh!" He jerked away from her, horror, again wiping across his face. "Bloody hell, Slayer! Stop doing that!" He said in between spits.

Spike looked up at her, face still screwed up in revulsion. "Let's see…EVERYTHING. Now get out of here before I slit your throat!" And he could really do it, if it wasn't for the blasted chip in his skull. He wanted her dead and he still did, even if she and her silly gang helped him after he escaped from the Initiative.

His anger, again, only made her want him even more, if it was even possible. "You can't do that. You have a chip, remember?" She swayed her hips seductively as she glided towards him, stopping when she was only a foot away from him.

"Well, I'd rather have a bleeding migraine than have you annoy me." He muttered and then remembered his plan to treat her like dirt so he can finally get rid of her. "If you plan on staying here for a while, we need to set some ground rules, yeah?" She only nodded, completely not paying attention to whatever he was saying and just finding joy in the fact that he was talking to her. "First off, this," he drew a square around him with his fingers, "area here, you don't enter. Off limits. Got that?" She nodded again obediently. "Second, clean this place up for me." He grinned evilly, crossing his arms across his chest.

Buffy rolled her eyes. "You know, you don't have to be an asshole. You're not the big bad anymore." The way she had said 'big bad' was unmistakably mockery. "You're not even the little bad."

And she finally did. She ran through the cemetery with an ache in her heart and she didn't know why. Was her attraction to Spike not just physical? Could she actually feel something for him other than hatred? It was not possible. It wasn't. She shuddered at the thought.

She got back to her dorm room where Willow was still fast asleep. It was like a freaking nightmare, she thought, one she wanted to get out of as soon as possible. So she lied on her bed again and forced herself to not think of the said vampire. But she did. Oh yeah, she did.

The worst thing was that her encounter with him just left her wanting him more. She cursed herself for going out and approaching him in the first place. And then she decided she should just think of Riley. Riley who was a normal guy, who was sweet and hot and alive. He was someone who did not have weird bleach blonde hair, who did not wear a leather coat and did not have a sexy accent or a sexy mischievous grin…Yay, Riley.

She woke up the next morning, startled, after she had just dreamt about Spike again. This time, they were in his new crypt. He had pushed her up against the wall and was grinding hard into her. Now that was sex. Not making love, but sex. Which is technically better than dreaming about making love to him.

Willow, who was sitting on her bed, reading what seemed to be a spell book, turned to her. "Bad dream?"

"Uh." Guilt flashed across Buffy's face. "Yeah. Very bad dream. Very, very bad dream."

"Oh. No. No…" She sat up as Willow turned her attention back to the book. Buffy then grumbled. "God, I hope not."

"Nothing." She said, smiling innocently. So there it was. Another day to force herself to not think about Spike. Great, she thought, sighing heavily.

She had just finished dressing up when someone, then, knocked lightly on their door. Riley pushed the door open and went in. "Hey."

She smiled sweetly at him. "Hey." She greeted back and he walked slowly to her, hands tucked in his back pockets. They gazed into each others' eyes meaningfully with Willow staring at them.

"I think that's my cue to say 'I have this thing that I should go to'." Willow grinned widely as she got off her bed. The two broke their gaze and smiled at her sheepishly.

As soon as Willow left the room, the two started making out on Buffy's bed, eyes closed, and hands exploring each other. When Riley slid his hand under her top, she moaned a name. But it wasn't his name. "Sp--". She opened her eyes widely, still kissing Riley, when she realized what she was about to say. It seemed that he was too preoccupied to even hear what she had started to say. It was a good thing too, because she didn't want to explain to him that while they were making out, she was actually thinking about Spike and how his kiss was way better than the one she was having right then.

Buffy looked forward to patrolling that night. Not just because she wanted to dust something and maybe relieve some of the sexual desire she had, but because she knew she might run into a certain bleach blonde vampire. And if she didn't, then she could just pass by his crypt.

She was getting used to how she felt about Spike – whatever it is she was feeling – more and more. It did not seem weird or disgusting at all. She was in love with Angel…and maybe still was. And he was a vampire too. Although a soul-having one. But Spike was not all that bad. He had a chip. That was like having an electronic soul.

It was the first time that she was so excited about patrolling and the gang definitely noticed. Xander joked about how she was never that excited even for Bronzing, which apparently they had to do some time. Willow thought it had something to do with Riley. Anya thought it was because of sex. Which partially, it was.

So there she was, walking through the cemetery, keeping a look out for vampires or maybe just 'a vampire.' And soon enough, she had spotted him.

Spike walked through the graveyard carrying a brown paper bag filled with alcohol, smokes and some pig's blood, which he still wasn't used to. He walked faster, sighing exasperatedly when he smelled a scent very familiar to him by then. It was not like he had memorized her scent, but being around her all the time just made him fully aware of it. Hell, he had even memorized Xander's scent. "Great." He mumbled.

"Hey." She smiled widely, stepping in beside him. But again, he only ignored her. "What do you got there?" She asked, gesturing towards the paper bag he was holding.

If she was taking everything Spike said seriously, she would be really hurt then. But she chose to dismiss and ignore every hurtful comment he had to say about her. "You know, you really should have a place to store your blood. Keep them fresh. I could keep them for you, if you like."

... On with the ignoring of hurtful comments. "Hm... Maybe you should find an old fridge and then get an extension cord or something for electricity."

"Hey! I am not." She pouted, though she knew that she was kind of pathetic. But she certainly was not worse than Harmony! She wasn't! Okay, maybe she was at that moment.

"You are. At least she lets me shag her." He looked at her as she smiled widely again. She opened her mouth to say something but he quickly cut her off, realizing what she was about to say. "Not that I'd ever shag you."

"Why not? I have girl-y parts and…super strength and stamina." She wiggled her eyebrows meaningfully at him which made him recoil in revulsion.

He pointed a finger at her. "Never say those words in that way ever again." And then a demon came at him, knocking him to the ground. "Ow!"

"Hey! Get off him!" She kicked the demon off him and threw a couple punches at it before it punched her which sent her flying to a tombstone. Spike got up hurriedly, snapped the demon's neck, and readied his hand to his head, waiting for the chip to fire.

After a few seconds of waiting, his eyes widened in realization. He turned, smiling widely, to Buffy who was still recovering from hitting her head on the tombstone. "I can kill demons!" He exclaimed cheerfully and then frowned when he noticed her pained expression.

Spike approached her, not knowing why he felt the need to check on her. Could he care about her? Hell no. There was no way in hell that that could happen. He held out his hand to help her up and she took it, her other hand still on her temple. He jerked that hand away roughly to take a look at her wound. Alcohol, leather and smoke filled her while he examined her cut. His closeness was just too much that it almost made her weak. She wanted to grab him and kiss him and maybe do much more than that. She inhaled as much of his scent as she could and stared at his lips and his cheeks, almost memorizing them again. "You'll live." The urge to stick out her tongue at him in a very childish manner as he walked away from her, brown bag in hand, came but she suppressed it.

"What?! I so do not. I could've just left that demon to kill you but I didn't. So this," she said, pointing to her wound, "is all your fault. And therefore," She emphasized the word in mockery, "you owe me." He rolled his eyes, raised his hand and just waved her off. "And you know how you can repay me?" Her tone was again seductive and suggestive.

He stopped walking to face her. "What don't you get, Slayer? I don't like you. In fact, I. Hate. You."

"I really do." He raised his eyebrows, insisting his claim, and started to walk again.

The same horror-filled expression like the night Willow broke her thy-will-be-done spell came to Spike's face. "Gaaaah! Stay away from me!" He threw the paper bag he was carrying at her and then ran off as fast as he could.

"Ow!" The bag hit her on the head, on her cut, which made it bleed more. "Why do I even bother?" She grumbled, throwing the paper bag to the ground.

Buffy got back to her dorm and explained to a worried Willow how she got the wound on her temple, carefully leaving out Spike from the whole story.

She bid her best friend goodnight, wanting to sleep everything – the wound, the whole Spike being able to kill demons, and her ever growing desire for the said vampire – off. Willow stayed awake, doing some minor spells and such.

A few minutes well into her sleep, she began to dream about Spike again. "Spike…" she whispered softly, but not soft enough for Willow not to hear. The red-haired witch turned to the soundly sleeping slayer, forehead wrinkled and mouth hung open.

"Buffy?" she called out to her, making sure she was asleep. And she saw that she was which only meant one thing: Buffy was dreaming about Spike. She turned back to her pencil-levitating spell wide-eyed and almost in shock and thought she needed an explanation.

Buffy woke up that Sunday morning with a huge smile on her face. She had gotten used to dreaming of Spike and felt that she should just enjoy them since the real Spike was an asshole. "Good morning." She greeted Willow who had just finished combing her hair. Willow smiled at her awkwardly, still thinking about Buffy calling Spike's name. Buffy pouted as she sat up, noticing her reaction. "Something wrong?"

"Well, it's just that…last night…you were dreaming…" Willow started and Buffy's eyes grew wide.

"I-I did?" She remembered the many times she said his name in her dream and blushed. "Oh God." She groaned while she buried her face in her hands.

"I believe that 'oh god' means that what I was thinking's right." Willow grinned, sitting down on Buffy's bed.

"You have to promise not to tell anyone." She begged. "It all started with that spell you did that made us engaged! And then I kept dreaming and thinking about him after that…" she trailed off when she saw Willow's smile. "What?"

"I so do." She fell back down to her bed. "Ugh! I think I'm disgusted with myself."

And she really was disgusted with herself. But that didn't keep her from trying to see him and trying every possible way to get him to like her. So there she was, in front of his crypt again that night, carrying a couple bags of pig's blood since he had thrown those he had bought the other night at her. She pushed the door open gently and saw Spike lying down on the sarcophagus, some flimsy cloth draped over him. Beside him lay a blonde-haired girl and she immediately knew who it was. It was Harmony, whose head rested on the chest of the vampire she was lusting over.

As much as she tried to stop them, tears filled her eyes. She chuckled dryly at how pathetic she was and placed the paper bag of blood on the floor by the crypt opening. Just then, she heard movement. She looked up and saw Spike had sat up. "Slayer?"

"Oh. Hi. I just…" She swallowed hard as she tried to get rid of the shaking and breaking in her voice. "I just wanted to give you the blood you left last night."

They both stayed silent for a while as Buffy stood and Spike sat still. "Thanks." He murmured and then waited for her to leave, but she didn't. She was obviously upset about something, and it was probably his fault. He then wanted to comfort her, not really knowing why he should. He turned to Harmony to check if she was still sleeping soundly and got off the sarcophagus, surprisingly, wearing pants. He marched up to her and Buffy readied herself to be man-handled by him once again. But this time, he took her arm much gentler, brought her outside and closed the door behind them. He sat on the steps in front of the crypt and motioned her to do the same, which she willingly did. "How's…" He pointed at the patch on her temple with his head.

"So…you and…" She couldn't hide the jealousy in her voice but she didn't feel the need to do so.

"I know." She suddenly found herself very intrigued with the soil on the ground.

And again, silence. It wasn't like that with them before, he thought. Something definitely changed and that, much more than anything, scared him.

"I think so…I mean, I dream about you a lot…and think about you much more than that…" she broke off when she saw the terrified expression on Spike's face. "B-but don't think I wanted this. I didn't want to fall for an evil, soulless thing. And besides, I have a boyfriend and I'll be forgetting about you in no time."

He didn't know why but he wanted to say something like 'what?!' or 'who's that wanker?' but all he could say was "Good." Since last night, his hate for her seemed to have lessened. He paused for a moment and then continued, "You know, I really am evil."

"Fine." She got up and gave him the sweetest smile she could muster. "Night, Spike."

Spike stared after her and found himself trying hard not to replay her smile in his mind over and over again. "God, I need a drink." He muttered as he stood up and walked back into his crypt.

It has been a week since she last saw Spike, since she decided to avoid him. She figured she should just focus on school, slaying and Riley. But she didn't think that avoiding him would only make things worse. It only doubled the time she spent thinking about him and doubled the time she spent imagining him, and tripled the sex in her dreams of him.

The gang's pending Bronzing had finally arrived and she was glad about that. It was a time to just enjoy and to hopefully not think about a certain neutered vampire.

She sat among her friends in the Bronze, but her mind was still totally elsewhere. Was it even a surprise anymore who she thought about? As per usual, it was Spike. Spike and his lips. Spike and his black leather coat. Spike and his smirk. Spike and his obviously well-muscled, chiseled body. Spike and…

There he was! He was sitting at the bar and drinking. She didn't think she would be seeing him. Maybe she should have worn something more revealing.

"Spike's here!" She exclaimed, more excitedly than she wanted and everyone looked at her confusedly, except for Willow who almost choked on her drink. "I mean, he's here."

"I-I should go talk to him." She stood up and headed to him before she even heard what the gang had to say.

"What? Why?" Xander glanced at everyone who just shrugged and at Willow who ducked her head, evading his eyes.

Spike closed his eyes and groaned in annoyance. He wondered if she was just doing this, annoying him to death, to get him to leave Sunnydale since she couldn't bring herself to dust him. "Bugger off."

He should be standing up and running away from her again, but he didn't because he didn't want to and he really didn't know why. It must have something to do with him not hating her as much anymore. "Isn't it past your bed time?"

"It's a Saturday…and I have no bed time." She folded her arms across her chest as he looked at her blankly. Her gaze shifted from his lips to his eyes. Wow, she thought, Spike has beautiful eyes. She had never noticed them before since she was too hypnotized by his lips. And then she bit her lip.

He rolled his eyes and looked away from her. "Bloody hell. Would you stop doing that?" The reason why he wanted her to stop biting her damn lip was because he was starting to like it. A little. And God, he didn't want that.

She didn't hear the rest of his whining when she thought of a way to get him to want her: force him to. With what? With her kiss.

She was a good kisser…or at least, she had been told by Riley, who was her boyfriend…sort of…who couldn't really say that she was bad at it. So she pretended to notice a guy and a girl heading out of the bronze. "Vamp."

"You can't kill humans. You can kill demons. Should I expound on the fact that you like killing?"

He stared at her for a moment while he considered if he should go with her. As much as he liked killing, he really didn't like her or spending time with her or being around her for very different reasons now since they've first met. So he shrugged and turned back to his drink.

He turned to her, jaw dropped. "What?! I am not a…scaredy-cat!" He jumped out of his seat and motioned her to go first. Buffy smiled to herself as they headed out of the Bronze. "So, where's this vamp?" He looked around the alley and saw neither a girl screaming for her life nor a vampire getting ready to feed. He clenched his jaw when he realized there really was no vampire to dust. "What's-" He broke off when she gripped his hand and pulled him into the darker part of the alley. "Hey!" He protested, trying to release himself from her grasp.

She pushed him into the wall, facing her, and hurriedly leaned in and kissed him roughly, holding his face between her hands, stifling any further protests that should come out of his mouth. He stood still, eyes read of horror, at first. But after a few seconds of struggling, his eyes closed in pleasure and their kiss became languid, tongues memorizing the other's mouth. His hands wrapped around her waist instinctively as she snaked her arms around his neck.

When she finally pulled away from him, smiling and biting her lip and eyes burning with desire, he narrowed his eyes at her, surprised at what she did and surprised, even more, by his reaction. "Thanks. That's all I needed." She grinned mischievously at him and then walked away, back into the Bronze, leaving him confused more than ever in the dark alley.

Spike stood still for a good couple of minutes, thinking about what just happened and why it did. But for whatever reason, he liked it. He wanted it. He wanted her. NO, he wanted a good shag. He didn't want her. He didn't. He shouldn't. Okay. Maybe he did.

He stormed into the Bronze again, scouring through the crowd for the slayer, ready to take her then and there until he stopped in his tracks when he saw some poncy-looking wanker (how many insults could he fit in in one name-calling?) holding her hand and being all sweet to her. Cutting the guy's throat was his first instinct as he continued to walk toward the group. But he wasn't jealous. He really wasn't. He was…not. He was pissed off. Not because of the guy. He was just pissed off. At her. Because she's the slayer and he's a vampire. Yes. That was it. Not because he was jealous. He wasn't. Really. He stopped again and scoffed, "Bugger this." He rolled his eyes and then turned to leave.

He barged into his crypt, VERY ready to shag. "Harm!" He called out to his 'girlfriend' and grinned at her sleazily.

Spike crawled on top of Harmony, who lay only in her underwear on the sarcophagus, and made his way to place soft kisses on her neck. When he pulled back, he almost fell off the coffin in surprise. "Aaah!" He quickly got off the other vampire and off the sarcophagus.

What's wrong? He just imagined someone else lying down beneath him, that's what's wrong. Worse, he saw Buffy. He saw the slayer.

"Fuck." He grunted. It was Buffy's fault, he thought. If she hadn't been prancing around him all the time making moon eyes and kissing him, he never would have felt that way.

"Not now, Harm!" He snapped at her as he paced back and forth, thinking why, of all people, he had to want her. She was supposed to be his mortal enemy. He should have killed her years ago when he had the chance.

"Ugh!" Harmony angrily made her way off the coffin and got dressed. "I don't know why I even came back for you!" She strode to the door and turned to him. "I'm leaving!" Although she knew she didn't mean anything to him other than being someone he shagged, she at least expected him to stop her, being that she's someone he shagged. But maybe he just didn't hear her. "I said, I'm leaving!" But he just rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Ugh!" She stood still for a moment before finally speaking softly. "I'll be back later. I'll just find myself something to eat."

The next night, he decided to patrol. Yes, patrol, since he needed a way to let out steam. Not because he wanted to see a certain Slayer. But he did, eventually, see her.

"I'm…what you call patrolling." She raised an eyebrow at his answer. "What? I need to get my rocks off somehow." Her face lit up and she opened her mouth to say something. He then realized what she was about to suggest so he held up a hand to stop her. "Not in that way."

At one point during their very awkwardly silent stroll around the cemetery, her hand brushed against his. He tensed at the feel of her skin against his and almost frantically jerked his hand up. He then folded his arms across his chest.

"Shut your gob." He answered angrily, after which, he cursed himself for feeling whatever he was feeling.

He rolled his eyes and grunted. "Oh, for God's sake." He then took her hand roughly and pulled her.

She gaped at their hands whose fingers were entwined and gasped, "You're holding my hand." She didn't protest or try to stop him. She just followed to wherever he was taking her. The next thing she knew, they were in front of his crypt. "Spike?"

But he didn't answer her. Instead, he burst into the crypt, startling Harmony. "Harm, get out!"

He let go of Buffy's hand and left her by the door. He then took Harmony harshly by the arm and shoved her outside, closing the door on her face that was full of hurt and confusion. With one swift motion, he carried Buffy in his arms in a bride-like manner and made his way to the sarcophagus.

Buffy's heart raced. Compared to the many sexual fantasies she had of Spike, what was happening then was much more like a dream and definitely more erotic (since it was the real thing).

He set her down on the coffin, one leg dangling on either side of him. She smiled cheekily and teased him in a husky voice, "Do you want me now?" And again, he told her to shut her 'gob' but in a sexier tone of voice. And that only made her more aroused.

He hooked his hand under her knee and pulled her closer to him, making her moan from the contact. "You should've worn a skirt, pet." He mumbled, his lips almost touching hers, as his hand ran up and down her thigh, sending shivers through her.

He answered her plea with a trail of soft kisses down her neck, which she arched impulsively. They gazed at each other's desire-filled eyes for a while before he rested his forehead on hers and began to fumble with the button of her pants. Not a second longer, they managed to discard each other's clothes without having to stop their languid kissing.

Moans, gasps and screaming of names echoed in the crypt until they both climaxed and finally broke away from each other. They lied on the coffin side by side but completely oblivious of the other. Spike had his back turned to Buffy while she stared at the ceiling covered only by his coat.

In the many times she had imagined having sex with him, she never once thought it would feel that good. But, in those dreams, they'd end up cuddling or spooning or doing some other things couples in love do after having sex. And that felt better.

"Aren't you going yet?" She heard him mumble. She must have been a fool to think Spike would actually make love to her. Spike's evil. She knew that. But that didn't mean it didn't hurt.

She slowly got off the sarcophagus, clutching his coat to her bare chest. She did that not just to cover herself but mostly so that she could feel closer to him somehow, even though they've just shared something that was supposed to be intimate. She then gathered her clothes that were sprawled on the floor and immediately got dressed. Tears streamed down her cheeks and she hurriedly wiped them off with shaking hands lest he saw them.

Spike closed his eyes, wanting to forget everything that had just happened. He fucked her. He fucked her when she was the type of girl one should make love to. Because she deserved it. Because she deserved to be loved.

"Buffy?" Worry wiped across Willow's face when Buffy burst into their dorm room with tears leaving stains on her cheeks.

The red-haired stood up from her bed and walked to Buffy who was standing, back resting against the door. "What happened?"

Buffy's eyes widened as tears fell from them. "Spike and I…Spike and…" She barely got out, still recovering from running all the way from Spike's crypt.

Without having to say much more, Willow understood her and frowned at her sympathetically. "Buffy, I didn't think…I just thought…I thought it wasn't like that." What she was trying to say was that she didn't know that Buffy liked him or could possibly have feelings for him. All she thought was that she thought Spike was hot – because he was. But nothing more than that.

Willow assisted her to her bed and tried to calm her down. "But…you and Riley aren't exclusive yet, right? So…No biggie…You'll just have to avoid Spike as much as possible and then you'll forget about him." If only Willow knew that she tried that already. But then again, what happened should be a wake up call. SPIKE DOESN'T WANT HER. "You should get some rest, ok?" Buffy nodded and lied back on her bed, unshed tears still in her eyes.

Meanwhile, Spike lay in his crypt alone. Harmony didn't come back, and she might never will, he thought. He sighed in relief which only lasted for a second. For some reason, he couldn't take his mind off the way the Slayer looked at him. The way her eyes shone from desire and hope and of very strong feelings that might eventually be love. And then he just hated himself more.

Although Harmony was almost the same way the first time they hooked up, he never once thought about how she felt or about her for that matter.

So what made the Slayer different? Well, for one, she was the Slayer. But aside from that, not much, really. So why in the bleeding, buggering hell can't he stop thinking about her? He thought and thought and thought without arriving at some conclusion he liked until he finally fell asleep.

Buffy got through the next day not shedding a single tear for or having deeply sexual thoughts or any thoughts for that matter about the damned neutered bleach blonde vampire. It must have had something to do with being too busy with school work or Riley. She figured it was because of the latter.

She only wished she could tell Riley about who she really was without having him freak out or never wanting to speak to her again or think that she was going crazy. Then everything would be perfect…aside from the fact that she still liked Spike.

If it was her choice, she wouldn't have patrolled that night. She didn't want to bump into Spike or see his crypt or see any vampire for that matter.

But due to Giles' insistence, she was in the cemetery again, hoping not to see him. She had already dusted two fledglings and was about to go back to her dorm when she felt the urge to go to Spike's crypt.

He was sitting on the sarcophagus, almost brooding. "There's this thing people do called knocking. Might want to try that sometime." He addressed Buffy without glancing at her.

She didn't think that having sex with him would make him nicer to her but she did think he would have been less of a jerk. "Wanna patrol?"

"I want you to go away." He said before taking a sip from the bottle of whatever hard liquor he had in his hand. How much he wanted her was starting to drive him crazy and he didn't want that. He wanted to have nothing to do with her. He was supposed to be the Big Bad and she was making him into a love-sick puppy like Peaches. Soon he'll be brooding, he thought.

Maybe it would be for the best if none of this happened, if she didn't do anything about what she felt for him. So she decided to tell him it wasn't real. That everything that happened those past few weeks were a lie and that she had no control over them. "Listen, Spike…" She started as she approached him and stopped a few feet away from him. "These past few weeks…You know…Me, wanting you and…" she trailed of when she found herself unable to say the words 'us having sex' because she knew it would hurt her. "It was all because of a spell." Spike, who had been trying to ignore her, suddenly shot his head up to look at her. "Someone cast this spell on me…so…" Fortunately, he didn't seem to wonder what kind of spell it was or who cast it because she wouldn't have known what to answer.

"Oh." He eyed her, searching for a sign that she was lying, but years of hiding from Joyce who she really was prepared her for that moment. She gazed directly at his beautifully blue eyes and didn't stutter once.

"You could just forget everything…and not tell a single word to anyone about it…Or you're dust."

"Right." He tried to say something longer and less disappointed and hurt-sounding but he couldn't think of anything. "Sure." He nodded.

She stood still, waiting for him to say that it wasn't a 'bleeding' spell; that she wanted him and he wanted her. But no such words came…only terrible, awkward silence.

Until he realized that he was supposed to be evil and should care less about her and about how she felt. "Or, I mean, I'll tell your friends."

"Night, Spike." She smiled faintly at him and his heart almost broke when he saw it. She turned and started to head out.

He quickly stood up and spoke to stop her, "Buffy." She whirled around; surprised that he had called her by her real name instead of calling her 'slayer'. "Stay away from me." He said firmly. Ok. Not really what he wanted to say but…it hurt! It bloody hurt. It hurt him and God, he didn't know why.

After everything she had been through with Spike, Buffy finally decided to take it to the next level with Riley. She deserved to be happy, she thought. And surely, Riley would make her happy. She could finally have the normality she wanted with him.

And Spike? Over him. Yep. Totally. Because she decided she was. Mind over matter, right?

She and Willow watched Xander and Anya dance in the middle of the fully – packed Bronze, completely unaware that someone was watching her too.

Spike stood across the room, watching her much like he did the first time. She was seemingly deep in thought, probably thinking about him, he thought.

"Ooh. There's Riley!" She straightened herself when she saw him enter the Bronze. Then she looked at Willow. "How do I look?"

Spike raised an eyebrow when he noticed her change in demeanor. He glanced at the direction she was looking at and saw the guy he saw with her the other night. "Great." He grunted.

"Excuse me." Willow said with a huge smile on her face and made her way to the dance floor where Xander and Anya were.

Riley pulled out a stool and sat beside her. "So…You said you wanted to talk?"

"I just…want to know…what we are." She said, fidgeting with the cup she was holding.

"You're my…girlfriend?" He answered hesitantly and waited for her to correct him.

"Ponce." Spike snorted when he saw Riley and Buffy kiss. He shook his head and took a drink from his bottle of beer. He saw Buffy stand up and walk over his way, possibly to go to the bathroom.

"You said you wanted me to stay away from you. So that's what I'm going to do." So much for peeing, she thought.

He clenched his jaw in frustration and strode to the two, catching them just as they got up. "Buffy." He tapped her shoulder making her whirl around. She rolled her eyes when she saw who it was.

"Riley, this is Spike. Spike, this is Riley, my boyfriend." She emphasized the word more by taking Riley's hand and lacing their fingers.

"I…" The defenses she had put up against him were slowly crumbling down. "Not now, Spike."

But Spike just ignored him again. He took Buffy's arm and began to pull her. "Let go of me", she said, though lacking of the anger she wanted.

Riley quickly intervened, placing a hand on Spike's chest to stop him. "Hey. She said let go, pal."

"I'm not your pal, you wanker." Spike swatted his hand away, ignoring the pain the chip caused him.

"What?" Riley wrinkled his forehead and shoved Spike away from Buffy. "Go. Now."

Spike gritted his teeth knowing he couldn't fight him because of the soddin' chip in his brain. He glanced at Buffy, looking into her eyes, almost begging her to choose him over Riley. Her heart ached when she saw hurt, more than anger, in his eyes. But she didn't say anything or do anything. He then threw his hands up in the air in surrender and walked away.

But he didn't leave the Bronze. He waited for them to come out in the dark corner of the alley. And when they did, he followed them closely behind.

They finally arrived at where they were headed and Spike almost screamed in anger as he hid behind the bushes. "They're going to her soddin' dorm room. They're going to her soddin' dorm room!"

When the two had entered the building, Spike continued to follow them until they reached her room. He stood for a few minutes in the hallway before knocking frantically at her door and then going back to the corner to hide.

Buffy opened the door and was surprised when she saw no one was there. "There's no one there." Spike heard her say as she closed the door again.

He waited for about a minute before repeating what he did. And again, Buffy opened the door and peeped out. "Someone's messing with us." Spike heard her say exasperatedly.

He repeated the knocking frantically and hiding for about ten more times until Riley finally decided to call it a night. "Maybe I should just go." He heard Riley say as he stood at Buffy's doorway.

"Yeah…I'll see you tomorrow." Annoyance and regret were evident in Buffy's voice.

Spike leered as he hurriedly tiptoed out of the building, hiding behind the bushes once again, as he waited for Riley to leave.

After he saw that Riley was no longer in sight, he came out from behind the bushes and stood at the entrance of her dorm. He pondered if he should go in and talk to Buffy but for some reason, he was afraid. He never felt anything for anyone since Dru and he could still remember how much it hurt when she left him. He didn't want to go through that again. So he decided to just go and try to forget Buffy.

The night before made Spike realize just how he felt about the Slayer. At first, he thought it was just want and lust, that it was just purely physical. But after seeing her with someone else…He might just have feelings for her. Why was he so fucking jealous if he did not?

But what then? Obviously, what she felt about him, if she really did feel something, was all just because of a spell. The way she was with him the night before was completely different than the way she had been with him those past few apparently spell-filled weeks. She completely ignored him and brushed him off.

Aside from that, she had that stiff poncy boyfriend who was an exemplification that people are to be considered happy meals with legs. He definitely could not compete with that.

And now he has lost his voice along with the whole Sunnydale population. Apparently, it was some laryngitis break-out. Pfft. Yeah right. Like anything in this bloody town can be explained medically.

Classes were canceled because of the lack of voices and Buffy, yet again, found herself in front of Spike's crypt that morning. She knew the whole ignoring Spike thing the night before worked but now she just wanted to see him.

Could she be any more pathetic? She could not even keep up the charade for more than a day.

She took a deep breath, deciding if she should go in or should just leave. Spike was still probably asleep, since vampires slept during the day. But she was already there, so to hell with the ignoring Spike plan.

She pushed the door open slowly and found Spike fully awake (and fully dressed), sitting on the sarcophagus. She went in and raised her hand to sort of wave at him. He will run towards me and shove me out of his crypt and if he could talk would probably say some pretty hurtful things, she thought. But instead, he smiled faintly and waved back at her. Only a few things made Buffy blush and apparently, his smile and him waving back were two of them.

She approached him and sat beside him on the sarcophagus when she figured that he was not mad at her. He pointed at the message board she was holding and she made a gesture that seemed to say "Oh!". She then wrote on it and showed it to Spike.

Spike laughed (obviously without a sound) when he saw the word "Hi!" written on it. He then took the message board and erased the 'hi' she had written to write a message of his own.

"Wow." Buffy mouthed, paying attention to his beautiful handwriting rather than to what he wrote.

Spike rolled his eyes and tapped the message board with the end of the whiteboard marker. She nodded and wrote, "Giles is working on it. I'm sorry about last night."

Buffy bit her lip to stifle a huge smile when she saw what he had written. Spike frowned and quickly erased the word 'love'.

They sat in silence (like they had a choice) for a moment as Buffy gripped the message board nervously and as Spike stared endlessly at his hands.

Having had it with the awkwardness, Spike took the message board from Buffy and wrote on it again. "Was it all really just because of a spell?"

He held the board up to show her what he wrote. The floor became pretty stare-worthy as Buffy ducked her head, unsure if she should tell him the truth: that it definitely was not a spell and that she lied and that she really did like him or tell him what she thought he wanted to hear, or read: that it really was just a spell and he could finally go back to wanting to kill her.

She glanced back at him, smiled weakly and took the board from his hands and wrote: "Yes."

Jumping up and down was what she expected him to do. But he didn't. Instead, he wrote on the message board, "Thank God." She felt her heart wrench as she read what he wrote. But then a smile crept across her face when he continued, "Don't want you trying to hold my hand when we patrol."

She tugged at the message board, erased what was written on it and wrote, "Who says I'll let you patrol with me?" She smiled teasingly.

He tugged the board back and snatched the marker from her hand and wrote hurriedly, "Like you have a choice." Just as he finished writing, she tried to grab the message board and the marker from him but he held it away from her at arm's length. She instinctively bent down across his lap to get it. They both tensed at the contact and she hurriedly sat back up as Spike thrust the board back to her.

They glanced at each other awkwardly before finding the floor stare-worthy, yet again. After a few minutes of awkward silence, Buffy wrote on the board. She then got off the sarcophagus and showed Spike what she had written. "I have to go do slayer-y stuff." He nodded and watched her leave.

Right. Now he was really done for. What he felt about her was definitely not just physical. Talking to her made him feel normal, alive. Like he was human again. Like he wasn't a monster…because he was.

And then he wished he felt that way about her before the soddin' spell was broken.

Buffy almost ran out of the cemetery, cursing herself for feeling the way she felt about Spike and mentally punching herself for going to him in the first place.

But she figured it was for the best. Spike knew where they stood: mortal enemies turned allies. It was unfortunate, though, that it was not the way she wanted things. But it was for the best…It was.

It was the scariest thing ever. Not being able to shout or cry or even whisper…Compared to all the other nasties she had encountered, what was happening was definitely a nightmare.

Spike had tried to not think about her after she had left him alone in his crypt. He did. But with the silence, thoughts of her only tortured him more, especially that she can't seem to stay away from him. So he decided to go to her and find out if it was all really just because of a spell.

Buffy, meanwhile, decided to take a long, soothing shower that afternoon after Giles' 'presentation'. After spending at least thirty minutes just letting the water wash over her, she got out of the bathroom wearing just a robe.

Just as she went into her room, she whirled around as the door opened again with a bang. Spike burst in with this fierce look in his eyes. She cursed herself mentally for forgetting to lock the door. Was he going to kill her for almost humiliating him and ignoring him last night? But they just sort of made up this morning! More importantly, he was going to kill her in a robe. What a way to die. Damn those sewers that made it almost easy for him to go out during the day. Maybe she should scream or something…if only she had her voice. She then clutched her robe close in fear.

He nodded and locked the door behind him making her step back in fear that he will be lunging at her at any moment while she wasn't dressed to fight. He twirled around and slowly walked towards her, stopping when he was only a few inches from her face. She looked into his eyes that weren't filled with anger but with desire.

Still not breaking their gaze, he slowly slid his arms around her waist and placed his forehead on hers, pulling her flush against his body. She then felt his hands slide to her front, to the knot of her robe, and slowly pulled it loose.

She should have stopped him for a lot of reasons…mainly because she and Riley were officially together then…but she didn't want to. Instead, her hands slid under his coat and pushed it off him before his hands slid under her robe, leaving cold traces over her stomach and her back. Her hands made their way to his belt buckle and started to undo them but he grabbed her hands and stopped her. She looked at him confusedly.

He then kissed her softly and slowly led her to her bed. She laid back and watched him take his shirt off, still in awe of what was happening and then marveling at Spike's shirtless body. He bent down over her, kissed her passionately again, and slowly took the robe off her.

After hours of what seemed to be very passionate love-making, not fucking, they finally pulled away from each other. She turned her back to him and closed her eyes, waiting for him to leave because that was what she expected him to do.

But shivers ran through her spine when his arm snaked over her waist and when she felt him place soft butterfly kisses on the back of her neck. Her eyes shot open and she turned her head to face him. Deep blue eyes that shone with desire met her hazel ones. He then pulled her closer to him and kissed her nose. She turned back with a content smile on her face before they both slumbered off.

It was pretty dark when Buffy woke up. A smile tore at her face when she felt Spike still holding her and still soundly sleeping. She sighed, remembering that she had to patrol and prevent chaos and possibly kill the Gentlemen.

She tried to sit up as stealthily as she could but Spike held her back by tugging at her waist tighter. What was supposed to be a giggle came out of her lips as she turned to the vampire whose eyes had just fluttered open. He pouted as she mouthed, "I have to go." Reluctantly, he slid his arms off her waist and lied back on the bed, hands tucked under his head. She stood up and put her robe on before heading towards her closet to get something to wear.

The entire time, Spike didn't take his eyes off her even as she got dressed and even as he got off the bed and got dressed himself. He was so addicted to her then – how she looked, how she smelled, how she smiled – basically everything about her.

A frown came across his face when he saw that her smile had faded. He strode closer to her and lifted her chin up so that she was facing him instead of the floor. "Riley." She mouthed.

She had cheated on Riley and it devastated her, especially that it was just last night that they became officially together. With just one word, he nodded in understanding. He smiled at her weakly, his heart breaking when he knew he had to leave because she will never choose a dead, evil thing over Riley. He touched her cheek with as much love he could make her feel and then headed out of her dorm room.

The moment the door closed, it opened again as Willow came in with a confused look on her face. Probably wondering what Spike was doing here, Buffy thought. Willow waved at her awkwardly, still with the confused look on her face. Then she narrowed her eyes at Buffy, hung her mouth open and started hysterically pointing at her. Buffy tilted her head questioningly at her best friend. Willow then started pointing at her own neck, still hysterically.

Buffy's eyes widened when she thought of all the reasons Willow would do what she was doing. First, Spike may have bit her without her knowing. Second, she may have a hickey. Either way, she was so in trouble.

She hurriedly ran to her desk and picked up a mirror to look at her neck. Her jaw dropped when she saw the huge bruise-like hickey right above her pulse point. She then thought that she may have other hickeys in hidden places. She turned to her best friend who was standing, arms crossed across her chest, reprimanding her with just her glare.

She smiled innocently and sheepishly before ducking her head, evading Willow's eyes, and then headed out to save the day, yet again.

"There seems to be a lot of that lately." Buffy mumbled, sitting down on her bed in front of the red-haired. She just had a 'talk' with Riley about him being a commando and about her being the Slayer, which he still didn't get. So much for normalcy... And if she didn't wear a turtle neck that morning, they would have probably had another talk, one she didn't like to have, about Spike and all those things he does to her…Oh. Right. Talking to Willow.

"Riley's sort of my friend and he's nice…I like him. And he really likes you. And what you're doing is-"

But she didn't need anyone else telling her what it was. She already knew it and oh how it tortured her. "Wrong…I know." Yes, wrong. Wrong in more than just one way. Wrong in the sense that she was with Riley and wrong in the sense that Spike was…well, Spike.

"You have to choose Buffy…" Willow said softly, concern, more than anger, in her voice.

She had to choose. She also knew that. But it was hard. God, it was hard. What she felt for Spike was twice – or even more - of what she felt for Riley, although it was nowhere near what she felt for Angel…

But Spike was supposedly evil and Riley was the perfect guy, aside from being a commando. "You're right." She nodded. "I'll fix things tonight."

"Just…whoever you choose, you know I'll support you." Willow smiled sympathetically.

"I know." But she didn't know. As much as she wanted to choose Spike, especially with what they've shared the day before, what would her friends, specifically Xander and Giles, say? They really didn't like him…Heck, she didn't like him at first either. In fact, she loathed him. But the asshole they saw was just one layer of him.

However, it was still pretty obvious who she should pick and she should probably tell that to Spike tonight. But considering how much she liked him…she should just try to avoid him and forget him again (like the first time worked) afterward.

"Hey." She entered the said vampire's crypt that night, bearing in mind that her boyfriend was Riley and that maybe he was the one she should ask to patrol with her. "Want to patrol?"

"You sure that's what you want to do, love?" His lips curled into a seductive sneer as he approached her.

Her lips started to curl to a smile but she suppressed it, remembering what it was she needed to do. "Spike, I…" But she broke off when he slowly ran his hands down her arms. A whisper of "Stop it" escaped her lips, though it lacked of meaning.

"Not really what you want, is it?" He whispered in a low, husky voice that gave her goose bumps. He then curled his tongue up between his teeth and quirked an eyebrow.

Yes. "No." She said rather unconvincingly as she closed her eyes from the sensation of his touch. He stared at her in awe, reveling in the fact that his touch aroused her that instantly.

But he dismissed it and stepped away from her. He knew if he did anything more than what he did, he wouldn't be able to stop himself. So he took her hand and pulled her out of his crypt to patrol.

A few minutes into their very quiet patrolling, he mumbled, "I'm sorry about yesterday."

"Spike, the Big Bad, is apologizing to me?" She teased him, a sly smile tugging at her lips.

She stopped walking, gripped his hand to stop him and pulled him to face her. "It's okay. It wasn't just your fault…I wanted it. I wanted you…" She paused for a second before saying ever so softly, "I still do."

He cocked his head and then smiled smugly. "Thought it was just because of a spell?"

"Shut up." She rolled her eyes and chuckled. As the thought of the talk she had with Willow hit her, she frowned and bowed her head. "But…"

He knew what she was going to say. It had to come sometime, anyway. "Is this the part where you tell me 'we can't do this anymore'?" He cocked his head again in such a cute way and it made everything harder. He gazed into her eyes and seemed to get the answer he was looking for so he nodded. "Maybe we could go back to being arch nemeses." He muttered as he smiled weakly.

It wasn't really the answer she was expecting. She thought he'd completely disagree and have her on her back by now. Just goes to show how much she didn't know about him. And that just made her want to know him more. It seemed like there was much more to Spike than just his black leather coat and sexy smirk. So before she could change her mind back to doing what was right and what her friends wanted, she grabbed his face and crashed their lips together in a torrid kiss.

Then they heard a branch snap, making them jolt away from each other in surprise. They turned to the bushes where the noise came from and saw Riley emerge from it. "Buffy?" Spike and Buffy shot awkward glances at each other before turning back to Riley. "What are you doing out here?" He then looked Spike up and down, which seemingly added 'and with him' to his question. But Spike figured it was best to keep his mouth shut.

"I-I was patrolling…That's what I do…every night…as the slayer…H-how about you? What are you doing here?" She rambled nervously.

Riley answered, missing the nervousness in her voice and still not taking his eyes off Spike. "I'm tracking down an H.S.T. A vampire…Hostile 17." He then shot Spike a meaningful glare.

"You have to come with me." He pointed his rifle at Spike, commanding him to do so.

But as soon as he pointed his gun towards Spike, he hurriedly ran away. How un-Spike like. It might have had something to do with his chip though. Riley started to move to go after him but Buffy placed a hand on his chest and stood in front of him to stop him. "Please, don't." She pleaded.

She wondered how she could convince him without having to say that she had feelings for the said vampire. "He's…my friend. And he's not evil anymore." Although maybe he still was. But she didn't care anymore. She had feelings for him whether he was evil or not.

But Riley knew that evil people – or things – don't change overnight so he chuckled dryly. "It's because of the chip we put in his brain."

"Just…" She struggled for defenses and excuses but could not come up with anything. "Please? For me?" It was wrong to use his feelings for her to protect someone else, especially one who she had feelings for, and she knew that. But she was desperate.

Riley sighed in defeat. He has never met anyone like her and it wasn't a surprise that he has fallen completely in love with her in just a matter of weeks. "They're going to find him, one way or another."

And Riley obliged her. He let her go find him and possibly hide him, ignoring the consequences he would be facing if Professor Walsh found out he let a hostile sub terrestrial go.

Buffy hurried after Spike who has not gone that far. "Spike!" She called out to him and he stopped and turned to her. "We have to hide you somewhere."

But he returned her kindness and willingness to put him first with blame. "This is your fault, Slayer!" He shouted, pointing a finger at the slayer who stood, shocked at what he had just said.

"What?!" She wrinkled her forehead in disbelief. "We hid you from them! We gave you shelter and food and…shelter!" She defended with the same raised voice Spike used.

"If you hadn't been prancing around me all the time, with your beautiful smile and your bouncy shampoo commercial hair and all your…beauty and sweet-talk, I would have left Sunnyhell weeks ago and your dear tumble, who just happens to be one of the commandos, wouldn't have been able to find me and then I-!" He stopped his ranting when he saw that she was smiling instead of glaring. "What?!"

He shifted in embarrassment and stared at the ground. If Spike could blush he would have been red as a tomato. "Yeah. Well…Don't get used to it." She walked over to him and took both of his hands in hers. "Why are you helping me?" He mumbled as they gazed into each other's eyes.

She smiled sweetly and answered, "I told you…I like you." The other times she had said those words, Spike had run off but that time, he only gripped her hands tighter, saying what he couldn't say. Admitting to him self that he may, in fact, like her back was one thing but actually saying it to her was another. "Come on." She let go of one of his hands and pulled him by the other.

They made their way out of the cemetery and headed, possibly, to one of the scoobies' houses. He hoped that they were headed to Rupert's because he really liked it there. He had Weetabix, and how he loved mixing Weetabix in blood, and he liked talking to him sometimes, because he was British.

But then he saw familiar surroundings, not those of which he saw at Giles'. He pulled Buffy back, protesting, "I'm not staying at this dump!"

"You don't have a choice." She pulled him harder to the Harris residence's basement door. She then knocked fervently, hoping to wake Xander up since he was probably already soundly sleeping. After a few seconds, they heard a rumbling noise from inside.

Xander opened the door with heavy-lidded eyes and spoke gruffly. "Buffy. It's two in the morning."

"He won't hurt you. He's not evil anymore." She said, folding her arms across her chest.

Buffy then gave Spike a look that said 'do you want me to gag you?'. And he got the message instantly. "I-I mean…Yeah. Not evil. And I'm never biting you, you whelp."

"Are we going to have to talk about how moist and delicious I am?" Xander placed his hands on his hips.

Buffy wrinkled her nose and immediately cut the very awkward conversation short. "So can he stay here or not?"

She went out the door, leaving the two inside the basement. But Spike followed her out, closing the door behind him. "Buffy." She turned back around to face him. "Thanks." She nodded in acceptance and turned to leave once more.

"Buffy." He called out again. She chuckled softly and whirled around to face him again. "I…" He wanted to say something sort of sweet but he couldn't bring himself to do so. "I don't hate you anymore."

"I think we've already established that." She smiled again, more affectionately. He smiled back and walked to her. He bore his eyes into her as he brushed her cheek with his cold yet comforting hand. He then kissed her, softer than any of the kisses they've shared

Cheating was one of the things Buffy thought she would never do, particularly with someone who was everything she was supposed to loathe and be against. But she had never felt such desire, such want for anyone, before him. Not even when she was with Angel.

She would have broken up with Riley days ago if it had not been for everyone's obvious hate for Spike. Their opinions should not have mattered. But they did. Aside from that, a Slayer in love with a vampire? How would anyone react to that, really?

And with Riley being with the Initiative, the same group of people that hunted and made lab rats of vampires and demons, there's no telling what he'd do if ever he found out the truth.

So they settled for creeping out at night, finding dark enough places or even well-lit ones to have sweet, passionate, multi-orgasmic sex.

It was probable that if it was not for her slayer strength, she would have been sore and limping for days after every night they'd have sex, which was every freakin' night, which would have meant that she'd be sore forever…

But no matter how often she felt him inside her, she still found her want for him unquenchable. Like his being inside her wasn't enough. She wanted him under her skin, coursing through her veins and – "Ooomph." She looked up from the floor of her dorm's hallway to the man she had bumped in to. "Riley! Hey! Riley!"

He creased his brows at her obvious anxiousness. "I was just heading to your room. I thought I could join you…patrol."

So much for heading to Xander's to pick up Spike and go 'patrolling' with him, she thought. "Sure. I was just heading out."

She was unnerved and guilty. Of course, she was. She spent the past few nights having sex with Spike. How else would she have felt? Particularly at that moment as she held hands with her boyfriend.

Riley was as perfect as a boyfriend could be. And she liked him. She really did. But there were no sparks. No nothing.

As she tried to rid herself of guilt, a group of vampires approached them, every one in their game faces. She clasped her hands together above her chest and looked up at the clear night sky. "Thank you." She mouthed, thanking the Powers for sending the distraction.

She dusted two out of the five vamps as Riley fought the other two, electrocuting them instead of dusting them. A look of dismay fell on her face as she watched her boyfriend NOT kill the undeads. Fortunately, she was distracted when the largest of the pack ran towards her. "Wow, you're big." She said before hitting the almost gigantic vampire a couple of times on the stomach, making him double over in pain. "Doesn't mean I can't hurt you." She suddenly whirled around at the feel of a sting on her back and saw Harmony with a syringe in her hand.

Her instincts should have told her to dust the bitch before she runs away but instead, it told her to look for Riley and see if he heard what Harmony said. Thank God, he didn't. He was too busy tying up the bastards. "Bitch! What did you-" She was cut off by a strike to the jaw. The next thing she knew, she was laying on the ground six feet under. "Okay. That hurt."

"Buffy!" She barely heard Riley shout. She was too dazed from the pain she felt from different parts of her body. She winced and groaned as she rolled over; pulling her hand from under her hips. Tears of fear and of pain started to fill her eyes. She had never felt pain like what she was feeling at that moment just from falling a few feet. The horrifying thought of what Harmony might have injected to her crossed her mind, along with the memories of her eighteenth birthday: Cordelia rescuing her, Giles lying to her, saving her mother…and did she mention Giles lying to her? It's an organic compound of muscle relaxants and adrenal suppressers. The effect is temporary. You'll be yourself again in a few days. A sigh of relief escaped her lips when the huge vampire turned to dust above her. "You okay?" A loud 'yes' was the answer he expected from her. He knew pretty well that she could handle herself as she was 'not so much with the damseling'. Hell, she was stronger than him.

"I…I can't move my other foot…a-and my wrist." As much as she tried to calm herself down and to not feel the pain, her voice still trembled. Though surprised from her answer, Riley didn't hesitate for a second to jump into the open grave and help her.

Spike, Xander and Anya sat on the couch in the Harris' basement, watching television, like it was the most normal thing, when the phone rang. "Answer it." Xander nudged Spike who was sitting beside him.

Spike screwed his face up. "I'm not missing this scene, you git! They have hot, hot sex. Besides, this is your home." He defended and turned back to the movie 'Titanic'.

Xander sulked. "You need a girlfriend... or a couple... and a life." He reluctantly got up and walked over to the stand where the telephone was. "Buffy got what?" Spike's ears perked up at the slayer's name and at Xander's worried voice. "Ahn, we have to go."

"What's wrong?" Spike stood up, stopping Xander and Anya from going out the door.

Every moment he had shared with the slayer was tattooed on his mind. The feel of her small, soft hands on his shaft, the taste of her skin, her lips, her juices, the way she wiggled and writhed while he pounded into her, the muffled noises she'd make…Every single fucking detail, forever etched into his chipped brain.

But aside from all those sex-related things he loved about her, mostly he loved the way she smiled, the way she jutted her bottom lip out in a pout, the way she rambled on and on about things he could barely understand at times…

The only thing missing was her being all his. Although she had promised him she had not been sleeping with Riley, it wasn't enough.

Why was it that every time he fell in love, he had to share the woman or she had to hate him? Cecily thought he was beneath her, Drusilla fucked Angelus…and now Buffy…his sweet Slayer, belonged to someone else.

The moment Xander opened the door to Buffy and Willow's dorm room, Buffy and Spike's eyes locked. Seeing his eyes that were flooded with so many emotions almost made her cry.

"What happened?" Spike pushed past Xander and Anya, heading straight to the slayer who sat on the end of her bed with bandages around her left wrist and left ankle.

"Some vampire injected-" Riley choked on the next word he was about to say when Spike shoved him aside.

"Yeah, not really talkin' to you." He kneeled in front of Buffy and gently traced her ankle which was elevated on a chair. His touch sent her tingles even through the bandages.

She gave an apologetic glance at Riley before explaining to everyone, but mostly to Spike, what had happened. "Some sort of drug or…I think it was the same one Giles used on me on my eighteenth birthday. Bottom line: it rid me of my slayer abilities. Good thing Riley was there-" She stopped when she heard a low growl from Spike. She shifted her eyes from Spike to Riley then back to Spike in nervousness. "A-and then I fell into an open grave."

"Well, with the absence of banter and hitting…And with the touching and concern and…" Xander trailed off when he heard Riley clear his throat.

"Who did this?" Spike queried; completely oblivious to Xander's suspicions. He also ignored the stiff who was standing only a few inches away from them and was trying to stake Spike with his eyes.

"Harmony…She…" Harmony. Enough said. He huffed and stood up, determination replacing what was concern on his face.

"Spike?" He was a slave of passion, she knew that. And as it dawned on her what he was planning – or, no, not planning…Knowing Spike, he was not the type to just plan. He was for the doing. And she knew exactly what he was going to do. "Spike!" The echo of the loud slamming of the door smothered her calls to him.

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Something Borrowed

by 3xy

Copyright © 2008

pointofcomplication@yahoo.co.uk